Original subtitles

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Kellogg's! The best to you each morning!

From Kellogg's!

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

£ Riding around your way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

J That's Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Brought to you by...

[feel-good music]

! wonder what's keepin’ that boy of mine.

He should have been home an hour ago.

[Augie] Hi, dad of mine.

And where have you been?

I'm home, dear father of mine.

No, never mind that, Augie.

What have you got on the other end of that rope?

You mean this rope?

1 mean that rope.

It's just a... [grunts]

itty bitty...

stray, homeless...

[grunts] pony...

that followed me all the way home, he did.

That's a pony?

It's a big pony,

dear animal lover Dad.

Can I keep him?

Can I, can lI, can I, can I, can I?

Keep him?

Why, Augie, besides the fact

that he eats like a horse

where are you gonna keep him?

In my room, dear kind, soft-headed--hearted Dad.

-Can I keep him, can I? -No.

-Can I, can I? -No.

-Can 1? -No.

-l no can? -No.

N-O.

Oh, I guess you'll have to go, Cyclone.

Right, you,

Cyclone, blow.

Out!

But, Dad, maybe he's cold outside,

and poor old Cyclone can catch a cold.

Aaachooo! Aaachooo!

l told you, Dad, poor old Cyclone is catchin' a cold.

[Doggie Daddy] For the last time, favorite child,

a house is no place

for a horse.

Now, you have your milk and go to bed.

Yes, dear heart-of-stone Dad.

All this fuss over one, measly, little horse.

Cyclone!

[panting]

-[screechi Ene ching]

Augie!

Quiet. It's my dear old dad.

Augie, whom are you talkin’ to?

I'm talkin’ to this glass of milk, Daddy dear,

that is to whom.

What won't these kids do next?

[Cyclone holding back a sneeze]

[Cyclone] Aaachoo!

So-ho!

Nothin’ like findin’ a horse in the refrigerator.

[chuckles awkwardly]

I'll take that,

and as for you, out!

If there's anything l can't stand,

it's a banana-eatin' horse.

[Cyclone sneezing]

Augie!

Yes, Father, who is tops.

Did you sneeze, son of mine?

! cannot tell a lie, Dad,

I did not sneeze.

Then who did snooze?

[Cyclone holding back a sneeze]

Ah-aachoo!

[thud]

[Doggie Daddy] Hey, you...

Out!

Oh, my achin' back.

Psst. Hang on, Cyclone.

Here you come.

[rattling]

Oh, boy, you're heavy.

[grunts]

-Augie. -Yes, Papa Daddy?

Now how come you're fishin’ this time of the night.

1 don't now, Dad.

It's just a hobby, 1 guess.

I'll take that hobby, and, should we say,

you hit the hay?

Okay, dear Father of the Year.

Now what's on the end of this, a whale?

[rattling]

[thud]

l have only one word to say...

out!

[crash]

My dad's a horse hater.

It hurts more when your own boy says that.

[snoring]

Now remember, you roll, all quiet-like,

past my dear old tired dad, and right into my room.

[wheels rumbling]

So, ho, it's roller skatin’ you want, eh?

It's roller skatin' you'll get.

Adios!

[indistinct]

That horse is in the next county by now.

I'm being attacked.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa...

[thud]

Okay, Cyclone, ! know when I'm licked.

Can I keep him, Dad?

Can I, can lI, can I,

can I, can I?

Sometimes you gotta be "phasilly-sophical."

Yes, sir.

After all, how many fathers have a genuine,

live horse hair sofa?

[laughs]

[fast-paced music]

[gunshots]

[narrator] As a result of the extreme lawlessness

in the Old West,

no honest citizen dared brave the blazing guns

of these reckless hoodlums, except one,

known only as the Masked Avenger.

He was hunting the area to mete out justice

in his own inevitable way.

[grunts, murmurs] ...think...

Dad-burned! Dratted! Gun!

-It's stuck again! -[gunshot]

Oh, my foot! Oh, my foot!

[narrator] Wherever there was trouble,

there too was this mysterious stranger.

Hold it!

[man] Hold yourself, you western-type copper, you!

-[gunshot] -Oh, yeah?

[clicking]

Hmph! Must have forgot to load.

[gunshot]

l was gonna say,

1 forgot to load the darn thing.

[narrator] One day, the Masked Avenger

and his faithful companion, Baba Looey,

visited the Cactus Cleaners on secret business.

George, are you telling me

that my Avenger mask

is not back from the cleaners yet?

I'm sorry, Avenger, but it just hasn't come in yet.

Maybe we should forget this whole Masked Avenger thing.

[Quick Draw] Listen, Baba Boy,

I'll do the thin'in' around here.

There's a heap of justice and avenging to be done.

And don't you forget it!

Jumping jackrabbits!

Get a load of that insipid,

stupid-looking cowpoke over there.

Hmm... Hey, that's it!

Baba Boy, I shall assume

the role of an insipid,

stupid-looking cowpoke.

No one will ever recogni-size me.

[postman] Telegram!

Whoa! Nearly!

Are you Quick Draw McGraw,

who has assumed the role of an insipid,

stupid-looking cowpoke, and who was formerly the Masked Avenger?

-Yep, the same. -Telegram!

Hey, wonder who it is, Queeks Draw.

[Quick Draw] Search me.

Uh, let's have a look-see. Hmm.

[Quick Draw reads]

...and turning off my water. His name is Sundown Sam."

[reading]

Sagebrush Sally needs our help, Baba Boy.

Let's go!

-[Sally] Help! Help! Help! Help! -[screeching]

That must be Sagebrush Sally.

Stand by, Baba Boy.

lam gonna bash the door in!

Hold it, Queeks Draw. The door ain't...

[thud]

[Baba Looey] The door ain't locked, Queeks Draw.

Now he informs me.

[Sally] Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

[Quick Draw] Your worries are over, Miss Sally,

on account of the insipid, stupid-looking cowpoke is here.

Where's that villain, Sundown Sam?

[Sam] Right here.

Listen, you hero.

Get off my stolen property or I'll shoot you.

With that dinky derringer?

-Well, har, har, har! -[gunshot]

Marry up with me, Sally dear.

No, ! won't!

Help! Help! Help!

Drop that gal, Sal, you sawed-off six-shooter!

Who's gonna make me, you insipid, stupid-looking cowpoke?

Hmm... now that's a good question.

Hey, Queeks Draw,

you're supposed to make him drop the Senorita Sal!

-l am? -That's right.

lam gonna make you drop her, you half-pint villain!

Excuse me, honey bun, while l take care of this hero type.

Help! Help! Help! Help!

Now listen here, Insipid.

You gotta stop followin’ me and my gal Sal.

I'm planning on hitching up with that filly.

O-o-over my dead body, you will!

Okay, if that's the way you want it.

That's the way I want it.

Dad-burned! Dratted! Gun!

It's stuck again! [grunts]

l can't wait all day.

Marry me and I'll give you back the ranch I stole from you!

Never.

Concerned, mule-headed six-gun!

-[gunshot] -Oh, my foot!

Oh, oh, my foot!

If you don't marry up with me,

I'm gonna drop you off the cliff, Sally dear!

! don't care.

Help! Help! Help! Help!

She's so mean.

Don't you worry none, ma'am.

I'll show her. I'll rustle some more with her cattle.

I missed you while you were gone, Sally Bun.

Will you marry me?

Never! Help! Help!

Hand over that gal, Sunstroke Sam!

[gunshot]

Oh! Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?

It's what I say, you little bully!

Maybe you'd like a nice punch in the nose, shorty.

No, but you have one!

[toing]

Ow! My nose! My nose! Ow! Ow!

Sam, baby! What have they done to you?

Your troubles are over, Miss Sally ma'am.

Take that, you big bully!

Are you all right, Sundown baby?

-Yes, Sally baby. -I'll teach them!

[gunshots]

You know what we do, Queeks Draw?

That's easy. Watch for me in the next picture,

when the Masked Avenger rides again.

And do-o-on't you forget it!

! know one thing for sure... 1 won't be in it.

And do-o-on't you forget that! Adios!

[soft music]

-Hey, Snooper! -Yeah, Blabber Mouse?

We made the headlines! Listen...

[Blabber reading]

Your Honor, I'm just an old-fashioned witch.

I'm still driving my 1937 broom!

Here's how it happened.

! just baked a chocolate pie

-[Knocking on door] -when there was a knock.

When I! opened the door,

there stood those two little monst--

Hansel and Gretel.

-How's about a handout, sister? -Yeah!

Got any good goodies for kids?

All l have is this chocolate pie!

What? No ketchup malts?

We like mustard sundaes!

But it's good for you!

[boy] Aw, your mother rides a vacuum cleaner!

[girl] Here's pie in your eye!

[both chuckle]

She's fibbin', Your Honor!

She tried to make a smorgas-boy out of me!

And a witch sandwich out of me!

[boy] When we knocked on the door, the witch opened it.

Mm, two delicious yummy youngins.

We're lost, kind lady.

We seek food and shelter.

Come in! But first,

! have a surprise for you, brat--uh, kiddies.

[boy] Gee, a sports car!

Hop in and take a spin!

[girl] Gee, thanks.

Wow, lady! What a keen car!

Yeah, real sporty!

You're going for a ride before dinner.

[bang]

Bon voyage, my little blue plate specials!

Oh, toasty tykes!

You're a mean old witch!

[boy] She chased us through the house.

[girl] Until Snooper and Blabber Mouse came to our rescue.

Now, what the kid says

is categorically correct, Your Majesty.

That's the truth, whatever he said.

[Snooper] We was at the office when the phone rang.

It was a 70963, a couple of lost kids.

So we took the case.

It wasn't the fee,

it's, you know, just that 1 hate to see

small urchins gets lost.

Super Snooper is my hero!

There's no Snooper that's more superer

than super duper Snooper!

So, uh, what's wrong with a little hero worship?

[Snooper] The clues led directly to the abode of the suspect.

Things looked mighty SUSPICIOUS,

so ! rapped on the door.

Suddenly, from the window, appeared a face

that looked like a veritable franken-furter monster.

Uh, pardon me, sir or madam, or whatever the case may be,

have you seen a couple kids?

-Me and him is detectives. -Detectives?

There's nobody here but me and Marvin.

-Marvin? -[witch] My pet gorilla.

It's obviously the old gal's tryin' to frame us, Blab.

And she ain't doin' bad either.

Come now, lady. We know there's no gorilla.

Ya-ah!

It kind of looked like a gorilla.

It even felt like a gorilla.

What now, Chief?

Elementary, me dear Blabber Mouse.

We run!

-[boy] Help, save us! -Help!

Blab, it's the lost urchins!

Let's call the police!

I'll fix those nosey private eyes.

Open up, in the name of the law!

Come in!

Follow that witch!

[crash]

[witch] Follow those detectives!

Uh-oh.

Come back, you imps,

you're staying for dinner.

One witch coming up! Gotcha!

Now we will turn this female-type monster

over to the police and collect our remunerative reward.

Is that better than money, snoop?

How many times have I told you

to leave the financial section to me, Blab?

[gorilla roars]

[Snoop] Run for your life, Blab, it's the gorilla!

[gorilla roars]

Say, Snoop, what are you doing up there?

I'm reading a book because the light is better.

Now get me out of here before this refugee

from muscle beach does it first!

Gosh, snoop, what should I do?

Listen carefully. Get a saw,

go down the cellar, and saw him out from under me!

-You got that, pal? -l got you, snoop!

[Snoop] Stick around pal, you're going bye-bye!

[saw scraping]

Oh, no!

Did I do good, Snoop?

Just tell me mother ! went down fighting.

Blab, call the police!

Call the private eye correspondence school!

Shut the door, Blab, quick!

[thud]

Uh-oh, excuse me, madam.

And that's how I captured the witch.

That's a fib!

1 demand the right to bring in a surprise witness.

-Request granted. -I'll show them.

Now go in there and tell the truth.

Actually, the witch is a sweet old lady.

Them kids is guilty, sir,

and it's the truth.

So help me.

He's fibbing, just like that ugly old witch!

Ugly?

Who's ugly? y! Whoops!

Guilty! Take her away!

Well, can't blame a girl for trying. [chuckles]

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

[howls]

[announcer] Kellogg's! Your best choice in cereals!

...has brought you...

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

[Quick Draw] Hey, Baba Looey, are you alright?

S'awright!