Original subtitles

My feelings are always spinning around and around!

I'm Shinobu!

Gaboraa!

I'm a female ninja, Watashi Kunoichi

Two times two equals Shinobu! Ninin ga Shinobu desu

I'm a trainee, but... Minarai dakedo

...I'm on the path to becoming a ninja ninja no michi wo mashigura

Let's learn ninja techniques, Manabo ninpo

Nin-Nin! Let's learn ninja techniques, Manabo ninpo

Nin-Nin!

Finally today, the great transformation kyou koso daihenshin

Chant the spell, Jyumon tonaete

What's this magnificent, yet naughty, sight? a bold pose, I'm going to nail it daitan pozu kimete mimasu

What's this magnificent, yet naughty, sight?

Let's go, close your eyes, take a deep breath Iku yo me wo tojite shinkokyuu shite

Suuu~! Let's go, close your eyes, take a deep breath Iku yo me wo tojite shinkokyuu shite

Suuu~!

Ninja Technique: Art of the Doppelganger Ninpo bunshin no jutsu

One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four! Ichi ni san shi

Oh my, that's weird Arya-rya-rya hen ne

Big time, big time, Buchake buchake

Lots of mishaps Shippai ippai

Watch this, this time it's ninja stars Mitete kondo wa shuriken

One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four! Ichi ni san shi

Hopefully this will work Nantoka naare

Ei-ya, Ei-ya! Ei-ya, Ei-ya!

It's sink or swim Ichikabachika de

Watch this, my power's at it's max Mitete pawaa wa zenkai

I'll be stronger tomorrow, Shinobu Asu wa motto tsuyoku narimasu Shinobu

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I'll be stronger tomorrow, Shinobu Asu wa motto tsuyoku narimasu Shinobu

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

I'm a ninja Ninja desu

This story is about the super handsome boy, Onsokumaru...

...and the beautiful women that surround him.

It's an anime filled with love, lust, and unexpected nudity...

Onsokumaru Goes to Hell!

Onsokumaru Goes ¥o Mell Onsokumaru Goes to Hell!

Onsokumaru Goes ¥o Mell

I found a girl I like!

I'm gonna marry her.

If only her boobs were a little bigger...

Go next! Go to the next page!

Wait! I'm not done reading her profile!

Princess! I, Onsokumaru will save you!

Until the day comes I will practice my kissing skills! Want you!

Stop, you're going to warp the page.

Just so you know, I've already kissed it there.

Shut up! I'm trying to read over here! Go away!

What can you eat to make it smell so...

Hey!

Onsokumaru! Stop bothering everyone! Naughty!

Say what? Lots of breasts, sweet and sour kiss, and room full of fart!

As long as I'm acting within reason,

I think you have no right to complain!

I so don't understand him...

Anyway! I'm borrowing this book!

Oh, you're so selfish!

Hey...

If you keep bothering people like this,

you're going to go to Hell when you die.

Un-chara chara ma de poo!

You don't have a comeback so you say I'll go to hell? Ha!

You make me laugh!

Fine! Then I'll change my name to "Hell Paradise Onsokumaru"...

...and I'll yank-yank, take it from Styx all the way to Nirvana!

Oh, I can't wait to go to Hell!

Oare Gal

Oare Gal Ogre gal, Ogre middle-school girl...

Oare Middle-School Girl Ogre gal, Ogre middle-school girl...

Oare Middle-School Girl ...another man's ogre wife, my ogre wife and my ogre in-law!

Another Man's Oare Wife ...another man's ogre wife, my ogre wife and my ogre in-law!

My Oagre \Wife ...another man's ogre wife, my ogre wife and my ogre in-law!

My Dare In-law ...another man's ogre wife, my ogre wife and my ogre in-law!

My Dare In-law Well actually, I don't need the ogre wife and ogre-in-law.

Well actually, I don't need the ogre wife and ogre-in-law.

Anyway!

Let's go to Hell! Wooo0!

Caved-in Skull. Life: Three years old.

Shinobu... Can I have my morning breast milk?

Sasuke... Can you bring me another change of underwear?

Oh my...

What? Is anyone here?

But where am I?

The manor. Which way's the manor?

Oh, whatever. I'll take my time finding it.

It's not like I'm going to die.

This is the Netherwovid, fouvth distvict.

By the way, I wonder what's going to happen to social security?

I can't be a ninja for much longer.

It might be good to start thinking about retirement.

Hello! It might be good to start thinking about retirement.

Hello!

My other concern is environmental issues.

Shi... Shinobu?

We've been waiting for you!

Well, we're the spacecraft crew from Earth, so...

...we cut out the milk cartons into the shape of Earth and recycled it.

It's my manifesto!

Let's see...

Onsokumaru, welcome to the Netherworld!

Tambaaa?!

Um, for the first timers,

I have to explain how the system of the Netherworld works.

I won't accept it! I won't accept this!

Well...

First of all, what's the deal with this? Your outfit! Your sweet scent!

You like me that much?

You want to keep staring at me that much?

I'm really not following what you're saying.

Hey!

Shut your trap and stop bullying the Netherworld staffer!

Lord Enma!

Damn it! Kaede, too?

Enma book Enma

Enma book Enma My name is not Kaede.

Enma book Enma lam Lord Enma.

And this is the Netherworld!

That's right! You are dead!

Shock the Onsokumaru!

How could this be... I can't believe I'm dead.

I get it! I must have died...

...saving young Prince Biscuit from the mountain fire!

According to my file,

it was a metal washbowl to the head.

It seems that during your life, you pulled many hoaxes, sexually harassed women,

told perverted jokes, and did countless other evil deeds.

Additionally, you even bluffed that you were looking forward to going to Hell.

You're going to Hell!

Hell. You're going to Hell!

Nell

I won't accept it!

HELL

Dr. Sasuke's Everything Lecture

What is Hell?

What is Hell? By the way, Doctor...

What is Hell? What kind of place is Hell?

What is Hell?

What is Hell? Alright. Let me explain.

What is Hell?

What is Hell? Sure!

It's a place where people who did evil deeds in life...

...do their penance in the afterlife.

Oh, really?

Lord Enma is in charge and there are...

...a total of one-hundred and thirty-six different Hells!

That many?

It's almost time! Let's move on!

Thank you very much!

Next time I'll discuss the River Styx.

Next time "The River Styx" Next time I'll discuss the River Styx.

Next time "The River Styx"

Next time "The River Styx" Okay!

Next time "The River Styx"

So thus . HELL

Here we are!

Sorry to keep you waiting!

Hell of Hell of Hell of Boiling Water Ice Water Starvation

S... So this is the infamous Hell...

In Hell, everyone receives...

...a harsh punishment from the ogres as a present!

You've got to be kidding me! I don't want it!

So then, in my dream, my maid robot and I had a kid!

Love is so great!

Man... I wish there was a country that gave you money...

...every time you see a dirty picture.

Hmph! They're talking on the same level as Sasuke.

Hey, look. It's been a while since we've had new prey.

So, let's taste the pain of Hell.

Wait! You're going to taste it?!

Hey, you! What's your name!

Bastards!

How dare you Sasuke clones talk down to me?!

You better quit that wise-ass attitude, now!

Impudent fool...

That attitude will be the death of you.

He's dead, remember? Dead.

You're going to really regret making me angry!

See ya!

Excuse me...

This is Hell, so we must ask customers...

...to please refrain from being rowdy...

What is this? A store?

Gotcha!

You've been a little too naughty!

You're going to learn that the ones who are victorious...

...are the beautiful ones.

Whatever!

Ninja Technique

Ninja Technique Ninja Technique, Art of Dressed-in briefs-in-front-of-a-girl Technique!

Ninja Technique, Art of Dressed-in briefs-in-front-of-a-girl Technique!

Wait! My pants!

Give it back!

How could you do this to me in front of a girl!

Got it?! You're no match for me!

Now, now.

Don't scream like that! He's already crying!

You ogre! You smell like blood!

Shh... Everyone.

Listen to that sound.

Come on. Can't you hear the fairy's mysterious tale?

What? I wonder what it is?

There once was a young, beautiful, and caring blond sister...

...who was admired and loved by the villagers.

Her hobby was...

...to photograph herself nude, late at night in the church.

One night, a young lad from the village came to pray...

Keep going please!

What's going to happen to the sister?

The ogres are completely engrossed.

Thus...

...if you go to Heaven, there'll be stories like this everywhere!

R-Really?!

Damn right! You guys!

We're marching into Heaven!

Yeah!

No!

You mustn't! I'll get in trouble!

Yeah...

Poor Angel... Maybe we shouldn't...

Well...

Don't worry. We're just delivering a freshly baked mushroom pizza,

a fall delicacy, to Heaven.

Oh my!

Still in Hell

Still in Hell

Hell Heaven

Hell Heaven And so, we're here!

And so, we're here!

Ogres from Hell Tour

Don't bring them here!

What? I'm in Hell and you're living in Heaven?

Who are you?

Leave this place!

Mr. Onsoku

Mr. Onsoku Looks like the basic system of Heaven is wrong.

Mr. Onsoku

But before that... The mushroom pizza...

Starting today, Heaven will be ruled by Onsokumaru instead of Enma!

So get with the program!

Mushroom pizza...

My Heaven New "My Heaven" Manifesto!

My Heaven Manifesto

My Heaven Manifesto One! Be nice to me!

Two! No file sharing!

Three!

Get out of here!

Caved-in Skull. Banished from Netherworld.

Onsokumaru!

Eesh!

I think that was a very dangerous angle!

Maybe he's dead...

Sasuke!

Sorry.

Onsokumaru! Onsokumaru! Are you all right?

Onsokumaru! Onsokumarul!

Onsokumaru!

I think I was dead for a split second...

I'm glad... I'm so glad...

If something were to ever happen to you... I... I...

Let go of me you idiot...

You're suffocating me with your breasts and making me happy.

Hey Shinobu...

Oh well... I guess Onsokumaru is loved no matter what people say.

Yeah, I guess...

By the way Shinobu,

Onsokumaru isn't moving...

You squeezed him too tightly, Shinobu.

The Ninjas Host a Summer Festival!

The Ninjas Most a Summer Festival The Ninjas Host a Summer Festivall

The Ninjas Most a Summer Festival

So, if a girl is taken aback by you wanting to kiss her, you say...

"Forgive me. This is the only way I know how to convey my love."

I see. You really have a woman's psyche down pat!

But, isn't that a bit cheesy? How about saying it more manly like...

"Abandon your shyness."

What do you think of that?!

I'd be more romantic and say,

“It's a spell to unlock your heart."

Hey, why are you trying to sound like a suave foreigner?

That's cheating!

Are you listening to me?

It's the usual endless conversation about wishing they were popular.

Now, now.

Anyways, I can't believe how the heat is still lingering!

Would you like to go to the river again?

That place is a hot spring now...

A... A black out?

Let's see...

I'm pretty sure there's a flashlight around here somewhere...

Just now!

Hey, stop hiding your porno mags here!

Do you have any idea how cramped it is?

On top of that... "Take off your army uniform?"

Not+ for Sale “I'm so embarrassed." "What are you saying? This is an order from your captain!" On top of that... "Take off your army uniform?”

Not+ for Sale “I'm so embarrassed." "What are you saying? This is an order from your captain!" You've got some taste!

You've got some taste!

Leave my taste alone!

Hey... what were you doing in there anyway?

What was I doing?

You guys, come on. It's a summer night.

Don't you think you're forgetting something?

What's the traditional thing to do on a summer night?

Ghost stories! Ghosties for short!

I'm scared!

Oh my! What should we do Kaede?

I can't take ghost stories!

Let's not.

I'm scared!

Leave it to me!

I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!

I'm your toilet.

So, can I hold your hand?

You can hold something else.

Can I come in your bed?

Only in my bed?

Catch her!

Roger!

What was that side act just now?!

Jeez... I'll never hold your hand!

Right, Shinobu?

Shinobu?

I'm counting on you.

I'll be with you, Kaede!

Let's do ghost stories!

You're getting influenced by them...

Gator... Gator...

This is a true story that happened in this room the other day.

It was a hot and humid night just like tonight...

It's hot!

How am I supposed to sleep on such a magmatic night like this?

I want to show my adorable sleeping face to everyone soon...

For some reason, I looked over to the closet. Then...

S-Stop it...

You're so good at adding realistic twists to your make-believe ghost stories...

Look...

It's still looking this way...

I'm sorry! Please forgive me! I'm sorry! Please forgive me!

But it's actually...

...a full-size, beautiful-girl figurine!

You idiot!

2x2=Shinobuden!

Just now!

The traditional thing to do on a summer night is...

That's enough, Onsokumaru.

No, it's not!

Take this! Art of Causing Havoc Technique!

It's a storm of incomprehensible things...

...happening for unknown reasons!

Stop torturing my Lieutenant Lina!

So? What is it this time?

Jeez...

You don't know? Then I'll give you a hint.

Bon-0. Bon-0.

A bird that cries Bon-0, Bon-0O...

Bon-O, Bon-O...

A Bon-O bird...

A Bon-O bird... ("tori" is Japanese for "bird")

("Tori" is Japanese for "bird")

Bon-O, Bon-O...

I get it!

Bon Odori Dance!

That's right! What a clever rhyme, eh?

Let's go to bed.

Maybe next time. Let's go to bed.

Maybe next time.

We're doing it! We're doing the Bon Odori Dance!

I said we're doing it! Doing it! Doing it!

But it's a little too sudden. I said we're doing it! Doing it! Doing it!

I said we're doing it! Doing it! Doing it!

Excuse me...

Did I hear someone say Bon Odori Dance?

Really? I wish I didn't already brush my teeth!

I just bought a new yukata.

I'm happy and a little bit embarrassed...

...to be able to wear it for the first time.

Shinobu, unfortunately these bastards don't want to do it.

There's no use making that cute sound effect.

Here you go, Miss. Your yakisoba.

The Bon Odori Dance area is over there.

Yay!

You bastards!

Look, Sis!

Grilled corn! Grilled corn!

Yes, yes.

Huh? By the way, where's Onsokumaru?

Umm...?

He's beating the drum with corn?

What motivates him this much?

He's in the cotton candy machine now!

Now he's at the goldfish scoop,

and his voice is high because he sucked in helium!

It's the most efficient way to spend time at the summer festival...

He's a pro!

You think?

I didn't properly pace myself and now I'm out of strength.

I wish I could have danced at the end...

Onsokumaru! Don't die!

What an idiot.

What happened to me?

On top of that, my entire body hurts.

You fought well...

For now, yes, just rest...

Don't be stupid!

My adventurous journey has just begun!

Okay! Okay! Step right up!

It's Sasuke's Fun Shooting Game!

These shooting games...

...they always have prizes that never tip over.

You're so right.

Oh stop it! Gunslinger girls!

We don't cheat. Everything will tip over!

Shooting go! Fire!

I'm definitely making progress!

Good! The entire shelf fell! A success!

I must ask that you do it without cheating, please!

One sqaQuare foot of Mars Mou did it

Universe!

Universe! I won a square foot of Mars!

You're a cheating bastard too!

Don't say I'm a cheater!

Alright! For you especially,

I'll give you a square foot in a woman's bath!

Yay! Really?

Can I put in a Stevenson Screen and analyze skin tones?

He's so fooled...

Shinobu Song Nin Nin Nin

Let's begin the Shinobu Song!

Everyone sitting in front of the TV,

please join us and dance.

We're not asking! It's an order!

Asore!

Take your position at the top of the tower. Yagura no teppen nijindotte

Ahh! Choina! Choina! Take your position at the top of the tower. Yagura no teppen nijindotte

Ahh! Choina! Choina!

Ninjas having fun at the summer festival. Ninja tanoshiya natsu matsuri

The heart shaped ninja stars... Haato gata no shuriken ga

They struck my heart. Watashi no kokoro ni tsuki sasaru

Ukyuu! They struck my heart. Watashi no kokoro ni tsuki sasaru

Ukyuu!

Dodon ga don! 'Dodon ga don' and let's go train! Dodon ga don de shugyou shimasho

'Dodon ga don' and let's go train! Dodon ga don de shugyou shimasho

Let's train hard with a smile. Egao de hagemi mashou

A young and sensitive age... Kanji yasui otoshigoro

Afuu! A young and sensitive age... Kanji yasui otoshigoro

Afuu! 2x2=Shinobu will bring a beautiful day. Haa Ninin ga Shinobu de Nihon bare

2x2=Shinobu will bring a beautiful day. Haa Ninin ga Shinobu de Nihon bare

Dodon ga don!

Uhyo!

Dodon ga don!

Uhyo!

Dodon ga don!

Dodon ga don! Come, come. Let's dance together. Saa saa goissho ni odori masho

Uhyo! Come, come. Let's dance together. Saa saa goissho ni odori masho

Come, come. Let's dance together. Saa saa goissho ni odori masho

Haa! Yoi! Yoi! Come, come. Let's dance together. Saa saa goissho ni odori masho

Haa! Yoi! Yoi!

Look up at the night sky, it's summer fireworks. Yozora aogeba natsu hanabi

If you shed your hesitation away, Tamerai do bat to nugi suterya

nothing could better than a festival. Matsuri wa masani saikosho

Yahooi! nothing could better than a festival. Matsuri wa masani saikosho

Dodon ga don! 'Dodon ga don' and let's go train! Dodon ga don de shugyou shimasho

'Dodon ga don' and let's go train! Dodon ga don de shugyou shimasho

Dodon ga don! 'Dodon ga don' and let's go train! Dodon ga don de shugyou shimasho

Dodon ga don! Experience is important. Keiken ga daiji desu

Experience is important. Keiken ga daiji desu

This is Ninja Technique, Shinobu Style. Korezo ninpo Shinobu ryu

2x2=Shinobu will bring a beautiful day! Haa Ninin ga Shinobu de Nihon bare

By the way Sasuke,

about the climactic event of the summer festivities...

There'd better not be any mistakes.

Of course!

It's the proud product of the Explosives Department's handiwork!

It's called...

Sa

Sa Sasukeology 2004!

Sa Mysterious powder and pop-pop!

It's beautiful!

Tamayal!

It's great.

It's the next one Onsokumaru!

I see.

Hey! What do you guys have against my butt?

How could you say that? It's obvious my finger's the victim!

Tamayal!

How was it?

Are you satisfied with the summer night's festivities?

No, I didn't dance.

I'll be dancing tomorrow, too!

Shuu tata shuu tata!

Hurry up!

Shuu tata shuu tata!

Gather around! Shugou

Made it in the nick of time, I slid in Giri giri seefu suberikonde

I jumped over the tough morning Kibishii asa wo tobikoeta

"What you said yesterday..." Kinou no hanashi

"...might have been a little white lie, " you said chotto duke uso kamo nante

I definitely have a long way to go with my training, Yappari shugyou busoku

Let's do it! Ganbarou

Turn turn turn, one day I'll become great Kuru kuru ri, rippa ni naru hi ga

Turn turn turn, turn turn turn Kuru kuru rii, kuru kuru rin

It's okay Daijoubu

"With prayer, flowers bloom," someone said Nenzureba Hana hiraku nante

It's an unreliable philosophy Tayori nai hitori goto

But I've got to try! Demo ganbaranakucha

Shuu tata shuu tata!

Hurry up!

Shuu tata shuu tata!

Break it up! Kaisan

Hurry up!

Today I, Kaede Shiranui, will seek the truth about Shinobu!

She's going to seek it!

What's your date of birth?

I'm a ninja so that's a secret.

Then, what's your blood type?

I'm a ninja so that's a secret.

Then, what are your three sizes?

I'm a ninja so that's a secret.

Then what's the title of the next episode?

I'm a ninja so that's a secret.

Come on...

Next episode of 2x2=Shinobuden!

"A Typhoon Arrives" and...

..."The Ninjas go Mushroom Picking".

A Typhoon Avvives The Ninjas go Mushvoom Picking “"The Ninjas go Mushroom Picking".

A Typhoon Avvives The Ninjas go Mushvoom Picking

A Typhoon Avvives The Ninjas go Mushvoom Picking If it's only to Kaede, I'll tell my secrets.

A Typhoon Avvives The Ninjas go Mushvoom Picking