Original subtitles

[ Sirens ]

[ Police radio buzzes ]

Mcgarrett. Go ahead.

I'm less than a mile from the fort.

Do want me to take it?

Proceed to fort, danno.

I'll meet you. Repeat. I'll meet you at the fort.

Over and out.

Got it. Over and out.

Major, danno, what have we got?

Strange thing.

Somebody set fire to the Jeep and ran off.

Just like that?

Yes, sir.

We saw the Jeep burning,

some civilians hotfooting on the fence,

but by the time we got here, he was gone.

Any description?

Didn't really get a good look at him, sir.

Che fong is on his way from the lab.

Why, what reason?

The army assumes you'll be able to tell us that.

Well, I appreciate the army's confidence, major.

It doesn't make any sense.

Maybe it's not supposed to.

Stay on top of it, danno.

I got a meeting with the governor in 15 minutes.

Right.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, sir. Are you in charge here?

Why, have you got a statement to make?

Heavens, no.

I saw all the excitement.

I thought I'd get a few pictures.

Much more interesting scenery in Hawaii.

It's the far-out shots

that win the prizes, sergeant.

Mister will do.

Excuse me. I thought all policemen

in plainclothes were sergeants.

Hey, sergeant.

Scenery's where you find it.

[ "Hawaii five-o" theme plays ]

I can't wait for my vacation to start.

I need you, brothers.

How was your meeting with the governor?

The end of a perfect day.

Anything new on the army case?

Yeah, Jeep was burned by a molotov cocktail.

Che fong found the remains of the bottle

with a clean set of prints. We faxed a copy to Washington.

Got something here that may add to it --

report from the Honolulu police department.

We're having an epidemic of fun and games.

Yeah, police car stolen,

found parked in an empty garage.

Rare royal palm tree sawed down sometime last night.

Whatever happened to the good old days

of overturned outhouses?

It's a new day. Anything for kicks.

What kind of kook gets turned on

cutting down a 100-year-old tree?

Maybe the same kind of kook

who set fire to a Jeep.

Newspapers are playing up the comedy angle.

Yeah, and I know where we'll be standing

when the custard pie gets thrown.

Last bottle coming up.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Not too much for Billy boy.

You know they can't hold their liquor.

Big talk for a man that can't hold his woman.

Oh, now, Billy, that's not fair.

Craig and I were engaged back in Dallas,

I think.

You know we were.

That's right. We were...

Till I tasted the pleasures of the island.

Back off, Jo Louise.

I guess my trouble is I love you both.

You're so different,

like salt and pepper, day and night.

Craig hasn't lost yet.

He hates to lose.

Don't you, craigie baby?

Especially to a blackie.

Now, Craig, that's not fair. Billy's not black.

He's sort of a...

What are you, Billy, brown?

Hawaiian sweetness.

That's right. He's Hawaiian sweetness.

You going to play the game

or socialize with the hired help?

What are you talking about hired help?

I've been working for free so far.

Listen to me, boy.

Even if you won

and she was crazy enough to marry you,

her father would cut her off without any inheritance.

No, he wouldn't,

because then his only child would cut him off.

He'll do what he always does, Craig.

He'll just grumble a little bit.

Then he'll give in.

You want to play the game or not?

All the way.

Okay, now hide your eyes.

Hide your eyes.

Now let's see.

The army installation puts Billy 20 points ahead.

Pick a card, any card.

I'll try the 9.

Bingo. 150.

Sink a boat?

That's crazy.

Well, only if you think the prize isn't worth it.

You can always pass. It'll only cost you 150 points.

You'd like that, wouldn't you?

Well, what's it going to be, a little action or not?

A little action.

You still dig the guy, don't you?

Ask me when the game's over.

Here he comes.

Hey, you wait here.

I need a picture.

The police car was found parked in the garage here.

No pattern, no special area.

What have you got?

Got another one.

Someone just opened a bilge in a sailboat

at the yacht harbor. Sunk it right at the dock.

Any witnesses?

Lots of them, crowds, only after the boat got sunk.

Wiseguy.

I better put it on the board.

Wait a minute. Let's make sure it's him first.

Kono, get with che fong. See if he can find any prints

on the boat after it's raised.

Oh, boss, it may not be important,

but a young man at the dock said

he saw a woman taking pictures of the boat,

a young good-looking haole chick.

[ Sighs ] I think it's less nose.

Make her younger, more innocent-looking.

Like this?

No, I think you can still work on the nose.

It's too wide up here.

Yeah, that's it.

Now, the jaw -- the jaw didn't seem to be as wide as this.

Can you fix that down here?

Uh, now...

The hair should be a little longer.

Looks like all sweetness and light.

Alice in wonderland.

Yeah, we're getting there. That's it.

I think you've got it. Let me see.

Yeah, that's about it.

Okay, scenery is where you find it.

Danno, get a copy to every hpd officer,

bars, hotels, all the swinging joints.

Thank you, Charlie. Aloha.

Jenny.

Ladies and gentlemen, the iolani palace...

[ Indistinct talking ]

...the only royal palace on American soil.

Built by king kalakaua and completed in 1882,

this remnant of Hawaii's glittering, golden past

today houses offices of governor, Attorney General,

and state police unit five-o.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Then suppose we move on to another subject, Ms. Mailer.

You've been seen lately with several male companions.

We'd like to know who they are.

Male companions?

Let me see.

Yes, now I remember.

It must have been Steve and Paul.

Do they have last names?

McQueen and Newman.

Nice work.

My daddy always said go first class or stay home.

Let's get down to cases.

Now I like that.

It's so hairy chested.

There've been some unusual crimes committed in Honolulu

since yesterday morning.

One of them involved

the destruction of government property.

That's a federal offense.

Really?

Really. The most recent was arson.

We think you're involved.

I can see the headlines now --

"gangland moll defies police, island in terror."

Save it for your memoirs, honey.

What big teeth you have.

Okay, angel face.

Let's put it down on your level.

Now I've got enough circumstantial evidence

to cool you for at least 24 hours.

That might be enough

to shake your boyfriends out of the woodwork.

Once I've done that,

somebody's going to panic and point a finger.

Always happens that way,

and that's all I need to keep a swinger like you

away from the action for a long, long time.

Do I get a blindfold and a last cigarette?

You ever hear of helava?

It's a candy, isn't it?

It ain't sweet.

It's the state prison.

[ Intercom buzzes ]

Yeah, Jenny.

Mr. Harlan Davis, the attorney.

He'd like to see you, boss.

It's about miss mailer.

Well, he knows the way in.

You know your way in.

Harlan.

Steve.

Come in.

Danny.

Miss mailer.

Hello there, Harlan.

You come to head them off at the pass?

Your father expresses his concern and affection

and wants me to assure you

there's nothing to worry about.

Oh, darn it. There never is.

Should we dispense with the small talk

and get right down to the nitty-gritty?

Well, as you wish, Steve.

At the request of miss mailer's father,

I've obtained a writ of habeas corpus

for her immediate release.

Without knowing the charges?

As far as I'm able to determine, there aren't any,

not any that would stick in court.

An innocent bystander just happens to be on the scene

when some prank is committed.

Don't you have enough to keep you busy?

We're working on it, Harlan.

I suppose you realize that miss mailer's father

is Royce hellington mailer,

a very wealthy and influential man

and friend of numerous important citizens

both here and in Washington.

You left out his birthday,

his shoe size, and personal fortune.

Yeah, so I did.

Well, Steve, would you care to specify a legal charge,

or may I take my client home?

So far she's all yours,

but don't count on it lasting.

Miss mailer.

Thank you, sergeant.

Oh, listen.

It's been just -- now what did they used to say,

peachy?

Yeah, peachy will do.

It's a living.

Well, we didn't have anything solid

to hold her on.

I got something solid, danno.

I got a gut feeling that daddy's little darling

isn't through having fun yet.

Kono.

Yeah, Steve.

Miss mailer just left with her attorney.

Dog her. I want to know where she goes,

what she does, and who's with her

when she does it.

Done.

Miss mailer, the posted speed limit on this street

is 35 miles per hour.

Now I know why daddy hired you, Mr. Davis.

You can read.

Well, under the circumstances --

under the circumstances,

I think you better hang on

while I lose whoever's following us.

Please, miss mailer, this is dangerous.

No.

Calling central dispatch.

Five-o calling central dispatch.

Hey, tote that barge!

How's it feel to walk in the front door

of a place like this?

Like a hairless haole.

You people think the gods gave you some special gift

with the women.

Your women seem to think so.

Like to see you cut it without the pineapples

and the palm trees.

Ha ha ha!

When it gets down to the nitty-gritty,

I don't need that jazz.

I don't need it because I'm a man.

The won who wins the game is the man, and I'm winning.

You lost. You lost a long time ago, haole.

Oh, you're arguing again.

Not hungry.

But, baby, what's wrong?

What's wrong is I'm not hungry.

I'm always hungry.

Come on, Craig. Come and eat.

Honestly, can I help it if I love both of you?

It's a terrible shame there can be only one winner,

but then I'm only one girl.

Well, come on, Craig.

I feel awful. Eat something.

Are we going to sit here or play the game?

Careful, Craig, you're getting uptight.

Just impatient.

Come on, superboy.

Your 130 points behind.

Easy enough to beat with one big card.

The joker?

Pass. I just want to cripple the competition,

not kill it.

Give me the king.

Big jump to the king.

Are you sure you can handle it?

Let's see what your little bent head has come up with.

We should have it delivered for you

by this afternoon, miss.

What's the name, please?

Parker, Bonnie Parker.

Oh, what's the address?

Waikiki ocean hotel.

Here you are, miss Parker. Anytime after 3:00.

Thank you.

Uh-oh.

Do you have a back door?

That man out there,

he just won't leave me alone.

Don't worry.

You can go straight through there to the alley.

Men like you make a girl feel so safe.

Thank you.

Steve, prints che fong got off that sunken sailboat.

Checked them all out.

There's one we can't account for.

What about a match with that print

off the gasoline bomb?

Zero, which means our man is careful,

or maybe there's more than one of them.

Yeah, maybe.

[ Intercom buzzes ]

Yeah, Jenny.

Kono on two.

Kono, what do you got?

Just spotted the mailer girl's car parked

on wailani street.

Did you see her?

No. She was in a camera shop.

Spotted me and ducked out the back door.

The one in the shopping center?

Right.

I'm on my way.

Hold the fort, danno.

How would you like to earn this?

Mighty kind of you, friend.

I said earn it.

It ain't -- it ain't that I'm against work,

that's for sure.

It's just that I got this delicate back condition.

I'll have to find somebody else

that wants to make 5 bucks.

Hey, wait a minute.

It ain't yard work, is it?

I'm not very good at yard work.

No, it's not yard work at all.

What's your name?

Nobody down here got a name.

Okay, uh, stumbles.

You sure that work ain't going to be too hard now?

Easy. It'll be over before you know it.

I got some engine trouble.

Why don't you crawl in there and get me some tools?

Engine trouble?

Well, hey, you sure this thing's got an engine?

Wait a minute.

What was all that? Somebody shooting at us?

He got the left front tire.

Hey, now, wait a minute.

What kind of job you got in mind for me

where I got to ride in the trunk

and get shot at?

I told you you'd get paid.

Now if you don't want the job --

no, no, no, no.

I said I'd go along.

It's just that it was awful hot in here.

Cramped, too.

You got your bottle.

Now bring me a spare, will you?

More to life than a bottle, you know.

Whatever you say.

You think because I drink alone

that I don't have any feelings or something?

Old man, I don't care about your feelings

any more than you don't care about mine.

I care.

Maybe that's my trouble.

I care too much.

Anyway, I'm not that old.

You're not that old?

You look like you've been dead for 100 years.

Gee, you -- you're pretty young

to be talking that way about death, huh?

That's right. Pretty young.

But you're gonna help me out, stumbles.

I'm gonna change a lot of things in my life.

[ Chuckles ]

I don't know what you're talking about.

You don't have to.

Just drink your wine and don't die for a while.

Good picture, Steve.

Yeah.

I'll send you one framed and autographed.

I had no idea the police

were looking for miss Parker.

She seemed so nice.

Yeah, she's a real sweetheart.

I'll need the negatives.

We'll want to make our own blowups.

But what about miss Parker?

We'll see that she gets her prints.

Thank you.

Lucrezia borgia needs wheels.

Who?

The lady needs wheels.

She's not stupid enough to come back

for her own car.

Call chin.

Ask him to check every car rental agency.

If she rents one, she'll have to

identify herself with a driver's license.

Brake liners.

Whole southwest territory.

Bender and company.

Why, people liked me.

They respected me, too.

Past tense, old man.

You're a loser.

All you need is a bottle of wine,

cheap wine.

You still breathing?

Take this tire and get back in the trunk.

That's right. Chin ho Kelly.

Has a Jo Louise mailer rented a car from you people?

Oh, that's mailer, m-a-i-l-e-r.

She's 25. Blond hair.

All right. If she does come in, stall her.

Call five-o immediately. Thanks.

Mcgarrett.

I'm Jo Louise's daddy.

I stopped off on my way to Manila.

Harlan Davis picked me up at the airport.

He tells me that you've been

giving Jo Louise a bad time.

He does, huh?

He does, and I don't like it.

Well, that worries me, Mr. Mailer.

It truly does.

It should, mcgarrett. I'm a big man.

Yeah, so I've been told.

Now would you like the truth?

Your truth?

Would you like to hear the truth?

Now you just tell me what this is all about.

I don't know what it's all about.

What I do know is your daughter

and her friends are involved

in some kind of an insane game.

That's my Jo Louise.

She's a very high-spirited little old girl.

Mischievous, you might say.

Yeah, yeah, you might say.

Now so far...

So far...

This is the total,

and I have a feeling the game is not over yet.

What's all this come to in American money?

Give me a number, any number.

No chance, big daddy.

No chance.

Not this time and not in this state.

Your daughter is in serious trouble.

Now you can help me help her

before she gets in over her head.

It's up to you.

The fact of the matter is,

I've never been able to do anything with Jo Louise

except pick up the checks.

Okay, now I'm giving you an opportunity.

You get your lawyer off my back,

and you keep him off,

and don't try to pull any strings

if I tag her.

You understand that?

I don't know.

I have always stood behind her.

Well, now I'm asking you to stand aside

before it's too late.

Just between you and me, mcgarrett?

Yeah. Yeah, between you and me.

You know, I really hope you have better luck

with Jo Louise than I've had.

Yeah, so do I.

Baby, what happened?

Everything.

Black beauty tripped and lost 300 points.

That's what you think, buddy. Come on over here.

Oh, wrong again, craigie baby.

Black beauty's in the stretch.

Him? He's an old wino.

That's not kidnapping.

Well, it ain't babysitting, dum-dum.

He's right. As long as the body's warm.

Are you warm?

Come on.

This is how you won your games?

Say that again, haole.

As long as we both know how to play.

Boys, don't fight.

Remember what somebody said.

All's fair in love and war.

Besides, I think he's cute.

Hey, hey, how'd you like to give me

a big smile, grandpa?

On your way, stumbles.

On your way.

Straight down the road.

Game getting too rough for you?

Are you kidding? I'm winning.

Get down the road.

Straight ahead down the road, stumbles.

How am I doing for points so far, buddy?

You're 270 ahead.

That tear you up?

Where are the cards?

Well, the king's gone.

The queen couldn't be worth more than 250.

That's not enough.

Then how about the joker?

The joker?

First class or stay home.

You could back out.

No chance.

He's crazy, but not that crazy.

Don't be too sure.

You've got him backed into a corner,

and there's only one way out.

No, no, not the old man.

Why not? He was good enough for you.

Stumbles! Stumbles, wait a minute!

Can I see your license?

I want the truth this time, honey.

Oh, my.

What pretty pictures...

But I prefer sunsets.

Did you ever see a tropical sunset, sergeant?

You're hooked this time, angel face.

That's what you call in my business

"hard evidence."

Pictures?

Pictures you took.

I could hold you on six assorted felony charges.

I wonder if you can,

unless there's a law

against taking pictures in this state.

You and a couple of your friends

have been playing some kind of sick game.

I want to know the rules.

I still haven't the slightest idea

what you're talking about.

Maybe this will jog your memory.

I'll level with you, brother.

You got big pelekea -- big trouble.

[ Speaking Hawaiian ]

You think the lady's going to help you?

I can help myself, brother.

Steal a car -- 50 points.

Saw down a tree -- 75 points.

125 for burning a Jeep.

150 -- sinking a boat.

Kidnap -- 300.

And the kill card -- joker, 500 points.

How far has the game gone, honey?

Where's my attorney?

I don't have anything to say until he gets here.

[ Knock on door ]

Steve.

Jackpot, Steve.

Prints match the set on the bottle.

Good.

Book 'em?

No, no. Not yet, chin.

How fast can you get down

to miss mailer's rented car?

Faster than she can.

I'll tell you what you do.

I don't think your boss likes me.

I hope it doesn't keep you up nights.

No, it's just that,

well, gosh, I hope it isn't anything personal.

No chance.

You're free to go.

What?

Oh...

Somebody bend the points on your little old badge?

You can't win them all.

Listen, we've just got to stop

meeting like this, sergeant.

We've got the pictures. We've got the cards.

What's this all about?

This. Notched just like the rest of them.

We've got one last chance to stop it.

You're a nice fella.

That would have been a long walk home.

See, I got this real delicate back condition.

It keeps me kind of close to home, you know.

Where's home?

Oh, mostly the sunset motel

whenever I can scrape up the price of a bed.

They have a swimming pool?

Oh, no.

There ain't nothing fancy like that there.

I bet you like to swim.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I just love to swim.

Ha ha ha.

I just don't know how, that's all.

Ha ha ha.

Well, drink up. Drink up.

Mmm.

[ Beeping slowly ]

Unh-unh. Wrong way.

[ Beeping speeds up ]

Are you perchance going to the beach house?

That's right.

Whatever for?

I asked you a question, and I want an answer.

Wait. You'll find out.

You're not going to try to stop Craig, are you?

If you do, you'll forfeit the game.

You're way behind. I've already checked out.

What's the matter with you?

Don't you think I'll keep my part

of the bargain if you win?

There's nothing to win.

You can't fool me, beach boy.

I smell sweet

and so does my daddy's money.

Ha ha. And they come together.

No muss, no fuss.

Is it that old wino?

Is that it?

That's it.

Craig was right about you.

You don't have any ambition, any guts.

You're a born pineapple picker!

All you can do is sit in the sun!

You'll die sitting in the sun!

[ Beeping slowly ]

Diminishing, huh?

Yeah.

It must be left.

[ Tires screeching ]

[ Beeping speeds up ]

Billy.

Billy, listen to me, please.

I don't want Craig to win.

I don't want Craig.

He'll smother me.

Dallas will smother me.

Billy, I want you.

And that old wino isn't worth it.

He's half-dead already.

I'm alive, Billy. Alive.

Billy...

Don't treat me like this.

Don't do this to me.

Please, please.

Please, Billy.

Please, mister, don't!

Please, mister. Oh, don't kill me.

Don't kill me.

Don't shoot.

Shut up. Please, shut up.

You're too nice a fella to do this.

Please.

What do you want to do this to me for?

No, please, don't.

[ Beeping faster ]

[ Long beep ]

No, no!

On the board. Get on the board!

[ Men yelling ]

Please! Please help me!

Don't make this so hard!

No! No, I can't swim!

No!

I've got to win!

Please don't!

Don't you do it!

No, no.

Please, don't make me do that.

Game's over.

Bet's off.

We're going to play it out all the way.

Drop the gun, Craig.

I drew the joker. I haven't killed anyone yet.

Because you can't.

No such word.

If you could, you would have.

Give me the gun, Craig.

You're wrong, Billy boy.

Maybe I can't kill anyone I don't hate.

That doesn't include you.

Craig!

Keep out of this, Jo Louise.

No more grays.

This is the difference between black and white.

The game is over, Craig.

Don't push me.

The game isn't over until I win.

You've already won. Take her. She's yours.

Not till I say so!

There's only one way to settle this.

No!

Help!

Help!

[ Long beep ]

[ Coughing ]

[ Gunshot ]

Aah!

Oh, Billy.

Oh, Billy, no.

No, no.

[ Cries ]

You're under arrest.

I got a gun!

Don't make it any worse.

Jo Louise, get away from him.

It was a game, Billy.

[ Jo Louise cries ]

Make it easy on yourself.

Throw that gun out.

Where's the other one? Where did he go?

To the car -- radio for help.

[ Cries ]

Jo Louise, get away from him!

Drop it.

Drop it!

Is he really dead?

Yeah.

I can't believe it.

[ Jo Louise cries ]

You'll believe it soon enough.

Danno, better get an ambulance over here.

Let's go.

Look, I know how your game worked.

What's the prize?

She was -- Jo Louise.

And you drew the joker, the kill card.

I drew it,

but it wasn't supposed to be this way.

How was it supposed to be?

It was just a game, a crazy game.

I should have stayed in Dallas.

Why is it you guys always say,

"I should have"?

It was -- it was a game.

Just a crazy game.

[ Crying ]