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HOST: Starring t o night,

Les I ey Warren,

L o u Ant o ni o,

Br oo ke Bundy,

and R o bert Pratt.

We offer you both tricks and treats in this special realm,

where the national dish is pumpkin,

national flower is wolfsbane,

and our national anthem is the funeral march.

Which should give you some definitive ideas to the nature of this place.

We show paintings like this one

in a color scheme of blood-red sky with corpse-white moon.

This, we tell you upfront, is the story of vampires.

And, of course, this much conjure up images

of Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee.

Somewhat frigid, malevolent, monstrous creatures.

But reserve such all-conclusive judgment of the living dead

until you hear the story of a particular vampire.

The kind you might find in a place like this.

T h e Night Ga Il ery.

HYACINTH: It will be dawn soon.

Uh, excuse me,

are you marooned or something?

Uh, I mean, can I help?

No, you can't help.

Well, I've been out here before.

I don't know why really.

I just hid over there, looking at you.

Yes, I know.

I couldn't get up the nerve to speak really.

Aren't you lonely?

Yes, I'm lonely.

What do you say, I come across and talk to you?

No, never.

I don't know your name.

It's Hyacinth.

You don't know my name.

Yes, I do. It's Ron.

You work at the fish store on the pier.

JAKE: Closing time. Get it while it's swimming

JAKE: Now honey, do me a favor.

Don't fry this, you understand... Hi, Phyllis.

Poach it in a nice dry wine.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Hello!

JAKE: 30 minutes in 350...

I can't make it tonight, Phyllis.

(JAKE CONTINUES IN ITALIAN)

I'm sorry! I can't help it.

Is he dating someone else?

No.

What does he do every night?

Ron goes to bed.

Every night at 7:00, he's sleeping in bed.

12:00 he gets up, comes back around dawn.

Tell me what's wrong.

There's nothing wrong.

Are you in love with someone else?

Yes.

I've never felt so drawn to anyone in all my life.

I've never felt so drawn.

Why won't you let me come and sit by you and hold you?

No.

For your own sake.

But, you said you are lonely.

I am.

I'm starved, I'm so lonely.

Then leave the barge. How can you stand it all alone on this spooky old barge?

My father lives here, too.

Don't you have a plank or something,

so I could come across and just sit by you?

We have a plank.

Only my father uses it.

The water doesn't look too deep, maybe I could... It isn't.

It's getting shallower every day.

They're draining it for the new marina.

Look, if you won't let me come aboard tonight,

maybe I could come in the daytime?

No!

No, not in the daytime, never.

But in the daytime I could meet your father.

Well that would be more proper, wouldn't it?

We could get acquainted proper.

No!

It couldn't work that way.

Why not?

My father sleeps in the nighttime.

I sleep in the daytime. (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

How could I ever introduce you?

Shh, shh, shh! I can hear him.

No, Hyacinth, don't go. Don't go yet.

I... I have to.

It's almost dawn.

(GASPING)

(SCREAMS)

(GROANS)

I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it.

There she was, getting ready to climb into a coffin.

Phyllis, are you trying to tell me she is a vampire?

Jake, look, I went to the library and I got these two books.

I mean, it's incredible if it's true. Now listen to this.

(ALARM RINGING)

Morning, sunshine!

Morning. (GRUNTS)

What're you reading? Hmm?

What're you reading? Oh. (CHUCKLES)

What do you want with that stuff?

I just got curious. I'm going for a walk.

(STAMMERS) Listen, why don't we play chess?

Or maybe we could go play billiards?

No.

(SIGHS)

Jake...

"For centuries, it has been known that certain women slew

"to satisfy their bloodlust.

"C o rpses by day, they I ay in their o wn c o ffins o n a bed o f earth

"fr o m the buria I p I o t in which they were o rigina Il y I ain t o rest.

"But o nce night fa Il s, they turn int o spirits o f evi I,

"r o aming abr o ad, ki Il ing b o dy and s o u I o f their victims.

"There are o n I y tw o ways t o c o ntr o I the fiendish fangs.

" O ne, is o I ate the victim s o she is surr o unded by f I o wing water."

The barge, right?

"F o r this they can never cr o ss.

"The o n I y o ther c o ntr o I is death.

"And the o n I y p o ssib I e way t o inf I ict death o n a vampire

"is t o exp o se her t o sun I ight,

"o r take a stake made o f o ak and run her thr o ugh!"

RON: Hi.

I thought you were alone last night.

I was!

You had a girl with you!

Hyacinth, there was no girl with me!

Then she followed you! She was spying on us!

No, darling, believe me, I was alone!

How's your father?

I suppose he goes ashore for food.

So he must put the plank down.

Then he pulls it away so you can't leave?

No.

No, it isn't that.

I can't cross over flowing water.

Why would he bring you here, then?

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

To keep me prisoner.

Why won't you let me come to you. I...

Don't look so sad.

I'll come to you!

Soon as they drain the lagoon.

Soon as the water stops flowing, I'll come to you!

You promise?

One night soon when you come,

you'll find me on the bank,

waiting for you.

Then we'll be together at last!

That is some dish you got there, Ron. Oh, man.

Thanks for spying! You and Phyllis both!

No, no, no, no, I mean it, I mean it.

I'd say that dish would really be, tasty and exotic. You know what I mean?

What do you say we share her, huh?

(LAUGHING)

Morning, Father.

JAKE: Which one? This one?

No, no, no, you'll like this one better. I'll give you this one.

Man, you are the sickest... Okay, I'm sick! I like it sick!

That's $4.75, please.

You're the sickest sick I ever knew!

Look, it's my life, okay?

And I'm not going to live it square! I like risk!

Thank you. Thirty-two next.

Listen, I'll take the bonito and make that enough for four, please.

Enough for four. Pound and a half apiece, okay?

I'm not talking about the risk!

I'm talking about how can you possibly believe all that stuff?

Okay, I'm hooked on her spook eyes, then!

What about her spook teeth? About three and a half pounds?

That'll be fine.

I don't get you.

If you really believe all that stuff, believe the whole trip,

why are you so crazy to see her?

I'm drawn to her! I dig her strangeness.

I dig her mystery!

But most of all, I just plain want to know!

Know what? The truth!

Is she for real? Is a vampire for real?

Bambin o!

(RINGING)

Why don't you stay home tonight?

Why don't I stay home? Why don't you stay home?

What do you mean?

Oh, don't give me that!

You were on the barge! You saw that girl!

All right, I was!

I did it because I love you, and I'm terrified for you!

Ron, listen to me!

I found out about the girl and her father.

They've been living on that barge for a year.

Before that, they lived in Congers.

In a field next to where they used to live, they found three buried bodies.

Two of kids, and one of a man.

Nothing was ever proved against them, but right after that,

the father and the daughter just disappeared!

(SIGHS) Please.

Honey, please, listen.

Those bodies that they found had been horribly mutilated!

They bled to death!

Let him go, Phyllis.

You don't have anything to worry about, because none of it's real.

If he keeps on believing it's real, then he will be sick.

I think that's right, Phyllis.

So she gives him a little love-bite. So what?

Excuse me.

(BOTH SIGH)

(BIRD SQUAWKING)

Hyacinth.

Hyacinth?

Hyacinth!

I promised you I'd come.

Why so late?

Were you afraid?

Now...

Now you can hold me.

(STAMMERING)

Why are you waiting?

Uh, I'm just so happy to see you, that's all.

It isn't... It isn't because

people have been talking to you about me, is it?

Oh, no, who would talk?

You haven't... You haven't heard anything about

a baby that disappeared, have you?

Or three bodies found in a field?

Lies, such fiendish lies!

Why aren't you as starved for me as I am for you?

I am! I am!

Don't! It's been a whole year, I'm starving!

I'm afraid! I'm scared of those kisses!

Hyacinth, no! I lied, I lied!

I know everything about you.

But I love you. I love you!

Please. Please try to understand.

I can't go through with it.

Not tonight, anyway.

All right.

But I do love you!

(CRYING) I love you!

That's why I'm... I'm gonna let you go.

Night after night,

for a year,

I've been watching that water,

waiting for this moment.

Life's crazy.

I've... I've been so lonely.

So...

So desolate!

And now...

I love you so much,

I'm willing to let you go.

No, don't!

Don't come back.

Ever.

(CONTINUES CRYING)

He's gone?

Yes.

He's gone.

(EXHALES)

(LAUGHING)

Oh.

(BOTH SIGH)

Dinner's ready.

It's sort of Chinese. (LAUGHING)

Super.

Well...

Here's to the good earth,

all things square and solid, all things orderly.

Neat closets, pension funds... (LAUGHS)

...well-shined shoes, mowed lawns,

sunny days, and healthy women.

Wow, that's some toast. (BOTH CHUCKLE)

(PHONE RlNGlNG)

Hello?

Yes?

Yes.

Yeah, thanks.

Jake's been in some kind of accident. Can l take your car?

Yeah, that's Jake.

COASTGUARDSMAN: We were patrolling.

We thought he was just sleeping on the beach.

We passed him a couple of times.

Then we put our spot on him.

Saw this deep gash in his throat.

l'll follow you in. l've got one stop to make first.

l thought l told you not to come back.

Jake was found dead on the beach.

A gash in his throat.

All the blood drained from him.

l didn't mean to go so far.

But after a whole year of waiting...

l can't help what l am.

Jake was... He was happy!

He was deliriously happy!

Right up until the end.

lt isn't the way you imagine.

He will return.

They all return.

The undead.

(EXHALES) Aren't you going to hold me?

l want you so!

And l want you!

Terribly!

Take me!

No.

Then why did you come?

l came to destroy you.

l'm going to pick you up, carry you out to the beach,

keep you there until the sun comes up.

And...

You don't have to do that.

My father...

...has a stake

made of oak.

lt's in that chest.

l have to do this. You understand?

Darling?

As you plunge it in,

cry out that you love me!

All right.

As l love you!

(BREATHlNG HEAVlLY) As l love you!

(GROANS)

l don't care what happens! l love you, Hyacinth!

(MOANlNG)

(SCREAMlNG)

No!

(SCREAMS)

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