Original subtitles

[opening theme music playing]

[synthesized beeps]

Okay Jake, you ready for the second best thing of the day?

No, sell me on it.

We're gonna form a dog-human, best buddy hamster wheel,

roll down this monster ramp,

and then shoot through a flaming hoop!

Probably landing safely on the other side.

Oh yeah, that sounds great!

-Let's do this! -Yeah!

[thunder rumbling]

-Uh-oh, knife storm! -[knives swishes]

Oh cool!

Not cool dude! We gotta get outta here.

[Jake panting and grunting]

Oh, phew! [groans]

[thunder rumbling]

Ugh! Donkin' knife storm!

Didn't even get to do the best thing of the day.

Well, what was that?

Oh, uh...

Just the same thing again, but wearing wigs.

Nice.

But now we're stuck indoors.

What do we do?

Well, let's make the best of it.

Huh...

We are the best.

So, the best must...

-obviously make the best of it! -[triumphant music playing]

[both laughing]

Okay that's enough.

-Circle. -Nope.

Dern.

-Wavy lines. -No.

-Crud! -[thuds]

Why don't we get creative?

Does that require imagination?

Well, imaginating is a component of creativity,

but, not always.

We're running out of options. Let's risk it.

Uh...

How's it going? Are you getting the contours?

Uh...

Don't just do an outline.

Try to map the topography of my muscle groups.

I don't think I can get great drawing on my first try.

Show me!

Let's do something else.

Like what? We've tried everything.

[BMO] You are in luck then.

Today I break out the rare video games collection!

The Journey to Donut Palace!

[thunder rumbling]

What?

Hey, get down BMO! It's dangerous!

Take this.

A keyboard? Why?

[beeps and whirrs]

[thrilling music playing]

[both] Whoa!

[Jake] West of House.

You are standing in an open field, west of a pleasant house

on a nice summer afternoon?

Hold on.

Where the stink are the graphics?

It's a text-based game.

You have to type in commands to play.

[both groan]

-I quit. -Mmm-hmm.

So words make baby Finn a quitter?

-[dramatic beat] -How dare you?

Unquit-me!

-Okay? So, uh, walk to house. -[keyboard clacking]

Walk in a cool way?

[keyboard clacking continues]

[Jake] Do you look both ways before reaching the house?

What?

What kind of question is that?

What do you mean?

I've never looked both ways in my life for any reason, ever.

Type no then, I guess.

But, if it's so obvious,

why would it even ask that?

Does it know that about me?

Am I being... set up...

to fail?

Maybe you're right. Why would it ask something like--

[buzzes]

[both gasp]

[both grunting]

Look both ways! Look both ways!

[both panting]

[Jake] You arrive safely.

[both sigh]

Jake, I'm now all-in on whatever this game is about.

Me, too. Let's beat this thing!

[robot] Adventure text.

Okay, I'm gonna type in "Enter House."

You see your friend in bed. He is very sick.

[gasps] We're not doctors!

This game is requiring a lot from us.

Well, you don't need to be a doctor

to ask a friend if he's in pain

Oh glob, you're right. Let's ask if he's in pain.

[Jake] He says, "A little."

-[both gasp] -How much is "A little"?

A little to me can be a lot to you.

You're right. Everyone has different thresholds of pain.

So, maybe we can just ask our friend what we can do?

That's smart.

This game is making me lightheaded.

And hungry, you keep typing.

[Finn] "Maybe you can get me something..."

He says in a frail voice.

-I don't know, medicine? -[keyboard clacking]

[Finn] Hot turd!

Well, just ask what we wants!

Okay.

He pulls out an object from beneath his blanket.

-"Read this card," he whispers. -[chomping]

[Jake] "Donuts from the palace

can cure for all and any illness which is near

King."

"Just show the card to the King.

He will give you donuts which have magical powers.

Please hurry. I feel so weak...

So weak..."

[both gasp]

We gotta get to Donut Palace!

[Finn] Leave house and head toward Donut Palace.

There's a path to Donut palace through the woods to the North.

[Jake] Sounds dangerous, but we'll go!

You make your way through the auburn trees

and come across a friendly robot.

Maybe he can give us a ride to Donut Palace?

Oh! That's a good idea. Ask it.

The robot agrees and puts you on his back!

[together] Whoa, yeah!

[Finn] You speed through the woods like a bullet train.

You cross infinite miles through uncountable lands

of danger and intrigue.

As you emerge from the land of the unknown,

you catch a glimpse of Donut Palace in the distance!

-We're almost there! -[beeps]

Just as you get close,

a horde of violent bunnies attacks you?

Oh yeah! Final battle!

Let's bop these bunnies and get to Donut Palace!

[together] Donut Palace!

-[thunder rumbling] -[both] Huh?

-[metal clanking] -[thuds]

[both scream in horror]

-BMO! -BMO!

Ugh, my brain hurt.

-Yeeeesh! -Uh...

Let me try and um...

[buzzes]

[both gasp]

If we don't get help quick, we can lose our game forever.

You mean BMO, we can lose BMO forever.

Yeah, that-- Yeah, that's what I meant.

BMO, is your inside okay?

[broken buzzing]

[fuses]

Oh jeez, let's get the hay outta here!

Don't worry BMO, we'll fix you up no problem.

Maybe even get you a new graphics card.

[buzzing intensifies]

[thunder rumbling]

[serene music playing]

[exhales]

[banging on door]

-[Jake] Help us! -[screams]

Help! Help Banana Man!

[together] Fix?

-[tense music playing] -[electricity crackling]

Pliers.

[low whirring]

-[thuds] -Solder.

[electrical buzzing]

Towel.

-Towel! -[grunts]

[Finn groans]

[nervous humming]

[Banana Man sighs] All right, I think we're done.

-Really? -Yeah.

He's fine.

Good as new.

[both] Yay! Huzzah!

All right! Let's go home and finish this game!

Phew [chuckles] You mean this game?

-[crackling] -[dramatic music playing]

It stopped the blade and saved BMO's life.

-[both scream] No! No no no! -[Jake crying]

-[Finn] We were so close! -[Jake] No!

[sobbing]

How will we know what happens in the end?

Was it a really cool game?

Yeah.

Probably the coolest game we've ever played.

It's called Journey to Donut Palace.

-Ooh! -[Jake] It has no graphics.

-It was really engrossing. -Yeah.

It was fun to imagine stuff ourselves.

-Yeah. -And it made me nostalgic

for a time I never knew. [sobbing]

-Yeah. -Whoa, whoa, guys!

Lookie here! I got the Journey to Donut Palace

1994 PC version!

With graphics!

[gasps]

[both] Whoa!

-This is so much better! -Look at this thing!

Wait, B-Man, is there a way to skip

to he bunny fight where we left off?

Yeah, yeah!

Sure! But...

you... you gotta look away.

Oh, of course I gotta look away!

-Why? -Would you stop doin'

inquisitive boy, Finn?

No looksies!

[keyboard clacking]

[chuckles] Okay, we're in business!

Thanks, B-Man! You're a life saver!

[gasps excitedly]

[Finn] Neatoids!

We're right where we left off.

Look at those bunnies [chuckles]

They look dumber than I imagined.

Punch those bunnies, dude!

[Jake] Punch!

Punch! Punch!

-Punch! -[Finn] Ooh, sock 'em, dude!

Finish it!

-Go dude! -Helicopter Attack!

Ha! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Hey B-Man, could you take it down a notch?

Oh! Oh, my bad.

-A big pretty bunny! -[gasps]

[Finn] A large and powerful bunny appears.

[both gasp]

A boss fight! Cover your face!

Cover your mouth, B-Man.

Big bunny runs right at you!

-Any ideas, Finn? -I don't know!

[Jake] Big bunny leaps into the air

and performs a power dive!

-Should we punch? Dude! -[stuttering]

[Jake] Big bunny is going supersonic!

-Cover face! -Yeah, punch!

-[both] Punch! -[Finn] Punch!

-Punch! -[Jake] Trust me,

-I can spell punch! -[screams]

Out of the way, idiots!

[rain pattering]

You got too excited, and you hurt us.

What do you say?

I'm sorry.

And?

I'm not used to guests.

It won't happen again.

Apology accepted.

[clicking tongue]

[Jake] Cover face.

[gasps] The robot from earlier shows up!

[Jake and Finn] Yeah! Whoo!

[Jake] Robot takes the hit.

There is a massive explosion.

Oh no! He was a really good robot.

Whoa, look!

You find loot at the robots explosion site.

Dude! It's a balloon pack!

Whoa, awesome!

Should we use the balloon pack?

Duh!

[Jake] You are approaching Donut Palace!

[together] Donut Palace!

[Jake] The King offers you donuts and safe passage.

Dude, I think we've nearly finished the game.

Hold my hands.

Take donuts and go home.

[dramatic music fades]

[robot] Congratulations.

-Yeah! Whoo-hoo! -Whoo-hoo! We did it!

[Finn] We did it!

Oh! It looks like the storm stopped.

[both groan]

[amusing music playing]

[birds chirping]

I guess we were having too much fun to notice.

So, you guys wanna hang out

and play some more text-based adventure games?

-Yeah! Whoo -Whoo, sunshine!

-Sunshine! Whoo-hoo! -Yeah!

I will play with you.

[both humming]

[both] Whoo!

Oh, yeah!

[keyboard clacking]

[BMO singing] ♪ Ultimoid battles ♪

♪ Mega quest nine ♪

♪ Genuine warrior Kitchen of time! ♪

♪ Skrunko's power fist Glorby's life ♪

♪ Enemy showers Hector's wife! ♪