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World of Warcraft - Outland PVP (EU) - Torporr (name) 2 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:17,744 His friends would say "Stop whining." they've had enough of that 3 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:22,331 His friends would say "Stop pining, there's other girls to look at" 4 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:28,713 They've tried to set him up With Tiffany and Indigo 5 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:34,844 But there's something about Mary That they don't know 6 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:37,722 Mary 7 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:43,019 There's just something about Mary 8 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:51,235 Well, his friends say "Look, life's no fairy tale" 9 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:56,699 That he should have some fun He's suffered long enough 10 00:01:56,867 --> 00:02:02,872 Well, they may know About domestic and imported ale 11 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:08,169 But they don't know a thing about love 12 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:14,258 Well, his friends would say He's dreaming and living in the past 13 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:20,389 But they've never fallen in love So his friends need not be asked 14 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:27,563 His friends would say, "Be reasonable" His friends would say, "Let go" 15 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:35,905 But there's something about Mary That they don't know 16 00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:38,366 Mary 17 00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:43,830 There's just something about Mary 18 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:57,885 When I was 16 years old. I fell in love. 19 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,180 Hey, Renise. 20 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:04,350 Hey. 21 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:06,686 So. What's up? 22 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,855 Cool. 23 00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:20,199 So I was wondering, I don't know if maybe you wanted to and... Or not. 24 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,243 If you don't want to, you don't have to. 25 00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:25,538 I just wondered if maybe you were going to the prom. And... 26 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:30,918 Or if you felt like that, maybe you'd wanna go with me. 27 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:35,006 Or, I mean. Whatever. If you didn't... 28 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:39,093 Did you take that bio test? Because that was, like... 29 00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:41,929 I heard this rumor that this guy I like was gonna ask me... 30 00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:44,682 ...so I'm gonna wait and see what happens there. 31 00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:48,269 That sounds great. Yeah. 32 00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:50,938 Okay. 33 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:58,863 - So is that, like, a yes or a no or...? - I thought I made it perfectly clear. 34 00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:01,699 If everything else falls apart... 35 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,618 ...maybe. 36 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,622 I'm gonna hold you to that. 37 00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:16,130 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Mary. 38 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,510 I wonder who she's going with. 39 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:25,973 Her name was Mary. 40 00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:29,935 She moved to our little Rhode Island town from Minnesota two years earlier. 41 00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:34,065 What a fox. 42 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,193 I heard she's going with some guy named Woogie. 43 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:42,740 - Who? - Big guy. Goes to Barrington High. 44 00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:46,952 Woogie from Bore-ington High? Sounds like a loser. 45 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:48,663 Loser? 46 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:54,502 Woogie's only, like. All-state football and basketball and fucking valedictorian. 47 00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:58,673 I heard he got a scholarship to Princeton, but he's going to Europe first to model. 48 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:02,468 Yeah? I was thinking of doing that. 49 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,346 Sorry. 50 00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,640 Have you...? Have you seen my baseball? 51 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,726 No, no. Sorry, man. Haven't seen it. 52 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,064 Have you seen my baseball? 53 00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:16,816 - No. - Sorry. 54 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:21,028 Hey, check it out. 55 00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,863 Have you seen my baseball? 56 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:27,868 Hey, buddy. Come here. I think I know where your ball is. 57 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,789 - You seen my baseball? - Yeah, yeah. I seen it. 58 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,501 You see that girl over there? 59 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,755 She has it. except she doesn't call it a baseball. 60 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,299 She's got another name for it. 61 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,139 Nice muffs. 62 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:52,143 - Have you seen my wiener? - What? 63 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,563 Have you seen my wiener? 64 00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:58,899 - What the hell did you just say, buddy? - Wiener? 65 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,986 Get your hand off my car. What the hell did you just say to me? 66 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:04,989 My wiener. 67 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:08,909 You fucking son of a bitch. I'm gonna fucking kick your ass. 68 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:12,163 - Come on, get up, fat boy. Let's go. - Hey, Smokey, take it easy. 69 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,207 - Who the fuck are you? - The guy's not all there. 70 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:19,295 Get out of my face. Come on. You want the first punch? 71 00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:22,006 - Yeah! Fight, fight. Fight! - Fight. Fight. Fight! 72 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:25,509 What's the matter with you? Stop it. 73 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:29,263 - You okay, Warren? - Mary, have you seen my baseball? 74 00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,973 No, I haven't seen your baseball. 75 00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:34,769 What are you doing leaving the yard? You're not supposed to leave by yourself. 76 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,771 - You know him? - He's my brother. 77 00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:38,314 I'm her brother. 78 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,192 - Warren. - I didn't realize. You know? 79 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:44,904 - You ought to tell him to watch his mouth. - Jerk. 80 00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:51,035 - Are you okay? - Oh. Yeah, I'm fine. 81 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,162 You okay? 82 00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:56,832 Thanks, Ted. 83 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,294 I couldn't believe it. She knew my name. 84 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:03,506 Some of my best friends didn't know my name. 85 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:07,635 I think that Joe Montana is, like. the most underrated quarterback. 86 00:07:07,803 --> 00:07:10,137 I mean. He should've been a first-round draft pick. 87 00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:14,016 Look what he did at Notre Dame. It's so ridiculous. 88 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:17,645 - Exactly. - I'm telling you, this year. It's the 49ers. 89 00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:21,273 - 49ers. - All the way. 90 00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:26,570 - Piggyback ride. Piggyback. - Warren, stop it. Leave Ted alone. 91 00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:29,740 No, that's okay, I'll do it. I mean. If you think he can hold me. 92 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:33,536 Are you kidding me? He's 230 pounds. he can hold you. You don't have to. 93 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:37,248 No, it's okay. I got a little disc thing, but it's all right. Here we go. 94 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,792 Giddyup. Warren. There we go. 95 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,921 - That's fun, huh. Warren? - He's a real Clydesdale, isn't he? 96 00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,674 Yeah. Warren. Bucking bronco. Okay. 97 00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,801 My turn now. My turn. 98 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:52,847 - Okay, well. I don't... - It's okay, Ted. You don't have to. 99 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:56,475 - Giddyup. Giddyup. - That's fun. 100 00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:00,354 That's fun. Huh, Warren? 101 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,657 That was fun. 102 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,742 - He's only 230. huh? - Yeah. 103 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:17,538 - I'm in the yard now. I'll hide. - Okay, go hide. 104 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,623 - He's got a lot of energy. - Yeah. 105 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:23,002 - He's great. I have a lot of fun with him. - Yeah. 106 00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:27,798 - Thanks for walking us back. - Yeah, no problem. 107 00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:31,886 - I'm just gonna... I'm gonna... - So are you going to the prom? 108 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:39,643 - I think proms are dumb. - I thought maybe we could go together. 109 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:43,063 Oh, you're gonna go with. Like, a bunch of people. or...? 110 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,065 Yeah. If you want a designated driver... 111 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,526 No, no. I mean you and me. 112 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,905 Like. We could go together. The two of us. 113 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,576 - You and me? - Yeah. 114 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:02,249 Well, is that a yes or a no? 115 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:05,669 - Sure. All right. - Good. 116 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,588 Cool. 117 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:11,967 I'm gonna take Warren back inside. I'll see you at school. 118 00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,470 - Bye. - Cool. Catch you back at school. 119 00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:20,601 From that moment on. The guys at school looked at me in a whole new light. 120 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,728 You're a fucking liar. 121 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:26,732 Do you expect us to believe that you're going to the prom with Mary? 122 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,276 What's so crazy about that? 123 00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:32,863 Oh, yeah, dirt bud. and I'm going with Cyndi Lauper. 124 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:36,617 - What happened to Woogie? - She said she broke up with him. 125 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:41,580 - That he was getting weird on her. - I got 20 bucks that says you're full of shit. 126 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,832 - Why not make it a hundred? - Rock on. 127 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,126 - I'm in. - Me too. 128 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:13,737 I've paid him enough money. I'm not paying until the job gets done. He can kiss my ass. 129 00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:15,406 What the hell do you want? 130 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:25,249 I'm Ted Stroehmann. I'm here to take Mary to the prom. 131 00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:26,667 Prom? 132 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:30,087 Mary went to the prom 20 minutes ago with her boyfriend, Woogie. 133 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,256 - Woogie? - Woogie. 134 00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:36,135 I see. 135 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,472 Charlie, you are so mean. 136 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:44,727 This is Mary's stepfather. Charlie. I'm Sheila. Her mother. 137 00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:48,522 Ted, don't pay attention to anything he says. He's a laugh a minute. 138 00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:49,982 That's very funny. 139 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,360 I'm just having a little fun with the guy. It's prom night. 140 00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:54,945 Woogie's got a sense of humor. 141 00:10:58,033 --> 00:10:59,950 Oh, hey. Hi, Warren. 142 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:04,079 Listen, once he gets into that MTV, he'll be there for quite a while. 143 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:10,127 Here she comes. Oh, honey. You look beautiful. 144 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:18,052 Shit, look at that. You better be careful. Boy. 145 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:35,027 Hi. Ted. 146 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:39,615 Hi. Mary. You look really pretty. 147 00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:42,076 Thanks. I like your colors. 148 00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:45,913 Oh, thanks. The guy said it was tan and taupe. 149 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:49,958 Poor Ted's been getting it both barrels from the wisenheimer here. 150 00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,920 Dad. You haven't been busting Ted's chops, have you? 151 00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:56,090 I was just fucking with him, right. Ted? You know. 152 00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:01,595 - Hey, Warren, did you say hi to Ted? - About 10 times. 153 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:02,846 Okay. 154 00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:05,891 Hey, Warren, I think I found your baseball. 155 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:09,228 - You've seen my baseball? - Well. If it's a big white one? 156 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:15,692 With little red stitching? 157 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:16,902 Yup, it is. 158 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,197 Then I think I saw it right behind your ear. 159 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,409 Warren. Warren. Warren. Hold it. 160 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:27,121 Get up, boy. Hey. Warren. 161 00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:29,832 Be careful, man. 162 00:12:30,125 --> 00:12:31,750 - Get up. Man. - Warren. 163 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,544 Let go of him. Get down from there. 164 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,879 - Hey, Ted, what are you doing, man? - Ted. Ted. 165 00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,798 Warren. Put him down now. 166 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:42,219 - What the hell are you doing? - Here, here. Mary. Come around here. 167 00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:43,804 This is my house. Here. 168 00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:48,559 - Okay, sweetheart. Okay. - It's okay, Warren. It's okay. Here you go. 169 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:51,895 - What's the matter with you? - I was trying to give him the baseball. 170 00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:55,691 - Baseball? What baseball? - I had a baseball. I know he likes baseball. 171 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:58,318 - What baseball? - There was a... It's right... 172 00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,112 There was a baseball here. I swear. 173 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:04,158 I brought him a baseball. and I was just trying to give him a present. 174 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:07,035 - Are you yelling at me in my own house? - No. 175 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,621 Don't make me have to open a can of whup-ass on you. 176 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,791 Ted, I should have told you. He has a thing about his ears. 177 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,335 You all right. Warren? 178 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,463 Honey, your strap's broken. 179 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:20,674 You're right. 180 00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:23,302 Hey, Ted, I'm just gonna go upstairs real quick. Okay? 181 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:24,678 I just need two minutes. 182 00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,681 - I gotta fix my dress. - I'll help you, honey. 183 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,517 - Yeah, yeah. - Can I use your bathroom. Sir? 184 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:31,727 I've gotta... 185 00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:33,687 - He broke the table. - Son of a bitch. 186 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:37,274 - I didn't do it. - It's all right. It's all right. 187 00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,776 - I swear there was... - The bathroom is that way. 188 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:40,986 ...A baseball. 189 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,865 Maybe I'll open up a can of whup-ass on him. 190 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,910 Trying to do the kid a favor. 191 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,694 Is he looking at you? What is he...? 192 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,030 - What is he doing down there? - Oh. No. I... 193 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,199 - No, no, I wasn't... I wasn't... - Mom, wait. 194 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,660 - Cover yourself. Cover yourself. - Shit! 195 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:47,427 - Ted, are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. Everything's okay. 196 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:50,347 Okay. Okay. Just take your time. It's all right. 197 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:53,016 You know, he's been in there over a half an hour. 198 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,019 Charlie, I think he's masturbating. 199 00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,980 - Oh. Come on. - Mom. 200 00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,773 He's not masturbating. 201 00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:02,651 He was watching you undress with a silly grin on his face. 202 00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:05,320 No, I was watching the birds. 203 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,406 - Do something. - What do you want me to do? 204 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:10,909 I think he needs some male help. 205 00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:15,122 - Oh. For crying out... - No, Dad. Just give him a minute. 206 00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:19,751 - Okay, kid. Listen, I'm coming in. Okay? - No, no. Don't. 207 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,297 Now. Exactly what the hell is the situation? What. Did you shit yourself? 208 00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:25,257 Oh, I wish. 209 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,384 I got it stuck. 210 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:29,845 You got what stuck? 211 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:34,558 It. 212 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:40,647 Well, listen, it's not the end of the world. These kind of things happen. 213 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,317 Let's have a look at it. 214 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,571 Oh, for God and heaven's sake! 215 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,908 - Quiet. - Sheila. 216 00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,411 - No. - Sheila, honey? 217 00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:55,954 Don't... 218 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:59,916 Sheila. Honey, you gotta come here. You gotta see this. 219 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,918 - What is it? - What? No. 220 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,546 - Come in here. Honey. - No. No, don't. 221 00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:07,924 Don't worry. She's a dental hygienist. She'll know what to do. 222 00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:10,677 - Hi, Ted. - Hi, Mrs. Jensen. How are you? 223 00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:13,347 - You okay? - Yeah. 224 00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:15,098 Holy shit. 225 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,934 - Charlie. You could have warned me. - Keep it down. 226 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,770 - Okay, I... - I'm sorry, Mrs. Jensen. 227 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:22,147 I don't want Mary to... I don't want her to hear. 228 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,191 Yeah. Let's just relax here. Okay? 229 00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:30,364 Now. What exactly are we looking at here? 230 00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:35,035 - What do you mean? What...? - Well. I mean, is it the...? 231 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,579 Or the...? 232 00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:40,290 - Is it the frank or the beans? - Right. 233 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:45,087 I don't know. It looks like... l think it's a little bit of both. 234 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:49,049 - Franks and beans. Franks and beans. - Warren, quiet. 235 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,928 - What's that bubble there? - What do you think? It's a... 236 00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:56,598 Well, how the hell did you get the beans above the frank? I mean... 237 00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:59,726 I don't know. It wasn't like it was a well-thought-out plan. 238 00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:03,397 You know, there really does seem to be a lot of skin coming through there... 239 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:06,233 ...so I'm gonna find some Bactine. Honey. 240 00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,735 No. You know what? I don't need any. Really. 241 00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:11,446 - Hello there. - Oh. Christ. 242 00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,407 What the hell's going on here? 243 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:18,453 - Neighbors said they heard a lady scream. - Well. You're looking at him. 244 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,540 You gotta take a look at this thing. 245 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:25,293 - Oh. Jesus. - Ain't it a beaut? 246 00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:29,965 What the hell were you thinking? 247 00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:33,427 How the hell did you get the zipper all the way to the top? 248 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:36,430 Well, let's just say the kid's limber. 249 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:41,852 - Christ. What the...? God. - You okay? 250 00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:45,021 Somebody's gonna have to move that station wagon so I can get in. 251 00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,940 - Lenny. Come here. - Who...? 252 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:51,236 Take a look at what this numbnuts did. 253 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,613 Holy shit. 254 00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:00,787 Mike, Eddie. Get down here quick. Bring everybody. Bring a camera. 255 00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:03,457 You're not gonna believe this. We got a kid down here... 256 00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:05,917 - What's your name? - No, I... 257 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,753 No, there's only one thing to do here. 258 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:12,466 What? No. You know what? I got an idea. Look. Look. I can just... 259 00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:16,386 We don't have to do anything. Because. look. I can just wear this over the front. 260 00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:19,764 - I can go to the prom, deal with it later. - Son. Relax. 261 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,184 You already laid the tracks. That's the hard part. 262 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:23,935 Now we're just gonna back it up. 263 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,313 Teddy. Be brave. 264 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,483 It's just like pulling off a Band-Aid. 265 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:34,196 A one and a two... 266 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,947 ...and a... 267 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,034 - We got a bleeder. - Keep the pressure on it. Keep it on. 268 00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:41,369 Everybody get out of the way. 269 00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:47,959 - He was masturbating. - People, please move out of the way. 270 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,796 - Please. Move. This is serious. People. - He was masturbating. 271 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,716 - Move out of the way. - None of this ever happened to Woogie. 272 00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:57,135 Are you okay. Ted? 273 00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:01,515 - Ted. - He was masturbating. 274 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:06,269 - My God. Are you all right? - Killer. 275 00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:13,276 Okay. Okay. Ted. 276 00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:16,071 - Okay, let's roll. - All right, folks, it's over. Go home. 277 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:17,822 Let's go. It's over. 278 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:31,086 So anyway, school ended a couple of days later... 279 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:36,174 ...and her father got transferred to Florida in July. 280 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:40,762 So I worked all summer to pay off those debts and... 281 00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:44,474 ...well. I never saw Mary again. 282 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,519 That was, what? 283 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:52,857 - Thirteen years ago. - Well. That's very interesting. 284 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:57,195 Anyway, I know it's not the type of thing you'd forget, but I guess I just... 285 00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,655 I kind of, you know... 286 00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:01,783 I must have blocked it out of my head or something... 287 00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:04,411 ...because I was driving down the highway last week... 288 00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:08,915 ...and I started thinking about Mary. and all of a sudden... 289 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:12,752 ...it was like I couldn't breathe. I mean. I was... I was... 290 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,255 I felt like I was gonna die. 291 00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:19,426 So I pulled off the road and I just sort of stopped in this... 292 00:20:19,594 --> 00:20:24,681 I guess it was a rest area. I was just kind of shaking. And... 293 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:29,227 You know, rest areas are homosexual hangouts. 294 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,440 Highway rest areas. 295 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:39,446 They're the bathhouses of the '90s for many, many. Many gay men. 296 00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,952 So. What are you...? 297 00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,164 What are you saying? 298 00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,336 Time, she's up. 299 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:58,214 We'll delve into that next week. 300 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:02,969 He called you gay? 301 00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:07,223 Well, he implied it. 302 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,519 Well, you know, you are a writer, and writers are artists. 303 00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:13,897 And, you know, most artists are... 304 00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:17,817 ...a little kind of... A little foofy. A little. You know... 305 00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,695 Foofy and woofy? 306 00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:25,367 Let me ask you a question. When you smoke a cigar... 307 00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:29,120 ...do you ever pretend it has balls? You know, like go: 308 00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:33,625 Well, I mean. I have. 309 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,669 Haven't you? 310 00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:42,676 I'll tell you what. I'm gonna set you up with my new assistant at work. 311 00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,386 You're gonna love her. 312 00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:49,641 I don't know. Let's face it, Dom. I'm in a slump. 313 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:52,560 I mean. Lately I've been feeling like... 314 00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,229 Like... 315 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:57,190 Like a loser. 316 00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:03,655 A loser? What the hell are you talking about? 317 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:08,076 Jesus. Do you remember five years ago when your kidneys failed? 318 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:09,703 Now. If you were a loser... 319 00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:12,789 ...would they have found a donor with a tissue match so quickly? 320 00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:16,376 I don't think so. What are the odds of that, one in a million? Jesus. 321 00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:19,421 Great. So I'm lucky because my brother died in an explosion? 322 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,883 I didn't say that. I said you're lucky those kids found his kidneys. 323 00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:27,345 Look. Your brother Jimmy never gave a shit about you anyway. 324 00:22:30,391 --> 00:22:33,893 Look. Come on, man. You're a real glass-is-half-empty kind of guy. 325 00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:37,981 You, sir, have got a fucking guardian angel. You come here. 326 00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:42,944 So I chili-dipped, three putt at the 18th. I lost it six ways. 327 00:22:43,112 --> 00:22:44,904 - He's a lucky bastard. - Yeah, well. 328 00:22:45,072 --> 00:22:48,742 Hey, guys. I thought you might like some of these with your beers. 329 00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:52,078 - Yes, indeed. Ted, help yourself. - I don't think I'm gonna have one. 330 00:22:52,246 --> 00:22:53,913 - Thanks, though. - You don't want one? 331 00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:55,957 What do you want? You want something else? 332 00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:58,418 - Come on. You want something to eat? - Not hungry. 333 00:22:58,586 --> 00:23:02,547 You sure? You want a cookie? Something like that? Honey. We got cookies? 334 00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,924 No, we don't, but, you know, I could bake some. 335 00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:07,552 - No, no, no. Don't bake any. - No, that's a good idea. 336 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:11,181 - Bake some. Bake some Toll Houses. - Oh. Great. Yeah, yeah. 337 00:23:11,348 --> 00:23:14,809 - Chocolate chip or butterscotch? - Let's go with the chocolate chip. 338 00:23:14,977 --> 00:23:17,979 - Really, you don't... It's... - No, it's fine. Don't worry about it. 339 00:23:18,147 --> 00:23:20,523 - Really. She loves this kind of thing. - Really? 340 00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:22,066 - Yeah. - See. That's great. 341 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:25,278 That's what I want. 342 00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:29,866 A family and somebody to. You know... 343 00:23:32,495 --> 00:23:35,330 It must be wonderful having all this. 344 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,708 Each day is better than the next. 345 00:23:39,710 --> 00:23:43,254 How about you? The big L? 346 00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:45,965 - Ever been? - What? 347 00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:47,634 In love. 348 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:50,803 Well, once. 349 00:23:51,889 --> 00:23:52,931 Mary. 350 00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:55,892 Oh, God. Not Mary again. 351 00:23:56,060 --> 00:24:01,814 Look. I know it was brief. but it was definitely love, Dom. 352 00:24:01,982 --> 00:24:04,817 I mean. crushes don't last for 13 years, right? 353 00:24:05,528 --> 00:24:06,945 Whatever happened to Mary? 354 00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:09,531 Told you. She moved with her family to Miami. 355 00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:11,032 So why don't you look her up? 356 00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:15,119 I did once. I called. She wasn't listed. 357 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:18,081 So that's it? You get one bump in the road and give up? 358 00:24:18,249 --> 00:24:20,750 Well, it's probably for the best. After 13 years... 359 00:24:20,918 --> 00:24:22,919 ...she's probably gonna think I'm a stalker. 360 00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:26,089 You know what you should do? Hire a private investigator. 361 00:24:26,257 --> 00:24:28,925 To find her, follow her around. She won't know anything. 362 00:24:29,093 --> 00:24:31,719 No way. That's way too creepy. 363 00:24:31,887 --> 00:24:36,307 Besides. She's probably married with a couple of kids by now. Girls like Mary... 364 00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:38,768 ...they don't stay single. 365 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:44,732 Hey, I've got an idea. There's this guy down in my office. His name's Healy. 366 00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:47,485 He's a claims investigator. He's a hell of a bloodhound. 367 00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:50,822 He shoots down to Miami every couple of weeks. He can help you out. 368 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:53,825 This guy runs a little hot, but he gets the job done. 369 00:24:57,454 --> 00:24:58,997 So... 370 00:24:59,665 --> 00:25:03,835 ...Dom tells me you're looking for some lady friend you knew back at school. 371 00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:05,920 Yeah. Yeah. 372 00:25:06,088 --> 00:25:09,591 That's cute. I don't buy it. But it's cute. 373 00:25:10,676 --> 00:25:11,884 You're not buying what? 374 00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:16,639 Ted, I'm the kind of guy who likes to shoot from the hip. 375 00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:21,269 I want you to level with me. 376 00:25:25,649 --> 00:25:29,777 Come on. Let's talk. Did you knock this skirt up? 377 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:31,237 No. 378 00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:36,242 - She's blackmailing you, right? - Blackmailing me? No. 379 00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:40,246 - You want her dead. Don't you? - Dead? 380 00:25:40,414 --> 00:25:42,957 Are you...? You're not serious. Are you? 381 00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:46,502 You expect me to believe this is a straight stalker case? Come on. 382 00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:49,589 Hey, hey, hey. I'm not a stalker. I'm not a stalker, all right? 383 00:25:49,757 --> 00:25:52,008 - She's a friend of mine. - Oh. Sure she is. 384 00:25:52,176 --> 00:25:54,594 That explains why she's got an unlisted number... 385 00:25:54,762 --> 00:25:57,138 ...and you haven't heard squat from her in 13 years. 386 00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:58,890 Yeah. Real chum. 387 00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:02,101 - What...? - You're good, Ted. Real piece of work. 388 00:26:02,269 --> 00:26:05,605 What are you...? You know what? Forget it. Just forget the whole thing. 389 00:26:06,607 --> 00:26:07,899 Okay. I'll do it. 390 00:26:08,609 --> 00:26:12,612 But if this chick turns up with a toe tag, I'm rolling over on you, big guy. 391 00:26:14,156 --> 00:26:15,698 All right. 392 00:26:33,217 --> 00:26:36,010 Healy, you dog. 393 00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:38,513 Sully. Look at you. 394 00:26:38,681 --> 00:26:41,641 You hot shit. You look fucking pisser. 395 00:26:41,809 --> 00:26:44,811 Hey. Hey, good fella. 396 00:26:44,978 --> 00:26:46,979 - Does he bite? - A little bit. 397 00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:48,523 Get in. 398 00:26:51,652 --> 00:26:55,029 - Here's the info you asked for. - Thanks. 399 00:26:55,197 --> 00:26:58,533 You know, you should thank me. That girl was not easy to find. 400 00:26:58,701 --> 00:27:01,744 What. Did she scam you out of some insurance dough? 401 00:27:01,912 --> 00:27:06,499 No. Some guy gave me a couple bucks to track down his high school girlfriend. 402 00:27:06,667 --> 00:27:08,459 Stalker, huh? 403 00:27:08,794 --> 00:27:11,254 Yep. Big-time. 404 00:27:13,966 --> 00:27:16,926 You would not believe all the pussy down here. 405 00:27:17,094 --> 00:27:19,679 It's like shooting fish in a barrel. 406 00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:22,014 - Yeah? You getting any? - Nothing. 407 00:27:24,518 --> 00:27:26,477 There you go. 408 00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:30,815 - Hey, shoes off. - What the...? 409 00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:34,026 Are you kidding me? 410 00:27:35,195 --> 00:27:38,197 You... You are so full of... Look at this place. 411 00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:40,366 - Yeah, I'm doing okay. - Doing okay? 412 00:27:40,534 --> 00:27:42,869 I gotta get ready for work. 413 00:27:43,704 --> 00:27:46,414 This pad. Those killer wheels. 414 00:27:46,582 --> 00:27:49,083 Man, it looks like you really cleaned up your act. 415 00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:52,670 Yeah. What can I tell you? It's a healthier lifestyle down here. 416 00:27:52,838 --> 00:27:56,424 It's easier to succeed. You know. when your head is clear. 417 00:27:56,592 --> 00:28:00,261 - Yeah. - Those guys back in Boston? 418 00:28:00,888 --> 00:28:03,473 Oh, fucking animals. 419 00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:09,937 Hey, what do you say we go out and grab a couple of pops before you go to work? 420 00:28:10,773 --> 00:28:14,150 None for me. Buddy. I don't drink any more. 421 00:28:14,318 --> 00:28:17,528 Yeah. You don't drink any less, right? 422 00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:21,741 What the...? 423 00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:26,996 That's Bill. Don't worry. I fed him last week. 424 00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:30,958 - Does he bite? - Nips. 425 00:28:38,509 --> 00:28:41,427 Nineteen months I've been straight. 426 00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:45,056 Is that right? Good for you. Sully. 427 00:28:45,599 --> 00:28:49,769 Yeah. It was hard at first, but I'm there. I'm there. 428 00:28:50,103 --> 00:28:52,647 Hey, I'm proud of you. How about a frosty to celebrate? 429 00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:55,608 Didn't you hear what I just said? 430 00:28:57,027 --> 00:29:00,029 Sully. You were never an alky. You were a cokehead. 431 00:29:00,197 --> 00:29:04,116 Yeah. But when you quit the nose candy. you gotta quit the booze too. 432 00:29:04,284 --> 00:29:08,704 Who told you that? Sully, it's one... It's a lite beer. 433 00:29:09,665 --> 00:29:12,166 Oh, the big. Bad beer's gonna get you. 434 00:29:14,628 --> 00:29:17,129 - It's you I'm worried about. - You're worried about me? 435 00:29:17,297 --> 00:29:20,591 Yeah. You gotta bend a little bit, or believe me. You're gonna break. 436 00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:23,135 - You think? - Oh. Yeah. 437 00:29:23,971 --> 00:29:27,890 You gotta learn to have a pop once in a while or you're gonna fall off the wagon. 438 00:29:28,058 --> 00:29:30,226 You're being a fanatic. 439 00:29:31,728 --> 00:29:34,146 Well, jeez... 440 00:29:34,314 --> 00:29:37,817 ...I don't wanna fall off the wagon. - No. 441 00:29:39,069 --> 00:29:42,780 - I mean. Not after 19 months. - Exactly. 442 00:29:56,670 --> 00:30:00,756 Jesus. You know what? This shit doesn't even taste good to me anymore. 443 00:30:00,924 --> 00:30:03,593 Fuck you then. You big pussy. I'll drink it. 444 00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:32,955 Looks like we found your Mary. Ted. 445 00:30:33,206 --> 00:30:35,791 Husband: negative. 446 00:30:36,501 --> 00:30:39,921 Children and a Labrador: negative. 447 00:30:40,088 --> 00:30:44,300 Tight little package: affirmative. 448 00:30:52,059 --> 00:30:53,309 Good morning. Magda. 449 00:30:54,061 --> 00:30:56,145 - Hi, doll. You're in my light. - Sorry. 450 00:30:58,357 --> 00:31:02,068 - So you've been out here all night again? - Bet your ass I have. 451 00:31:02,235 --> 00:31:04,779 This is an important job, neighborhood watch is. 452 00:31:05,405 --> 00:31:07,698 Neighborhood watch. Is that what we're calling it? 453 00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:11,410 Listening to perfect strangers' telephone conversations. 454 00:31:12,746 --> 00:31:15,748 This only picks up cellular phones in a half-a-mile radius. 455 00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:17,833 Meaning? 456 00:31:18,001 --> 00:31:21,754 These are the people you live amongst. You got a right to know if they're creeps. 457 00:31:21,922 --> 00:31:25,091 For instance. Do you know the guy in the green house down the street? 458 00:31:25,258 --> 00:31:26,300 Yeah. 459 00:31:26,468 --> 00:31:28,094 Cheating on his wife. 460 00:31:28,762 --> 00:31:32,682 And I am not surprised. I am not surprised at all... 461 00:31:32,849 --> 00:31:35,893 ...because Puffy used to bark his balls off whenever he saw him. 462 00:31:36,061 --> 00:31:39,271 And you know that Puffy, he only barks at the bad people. 463 00:31:40,148 --> 00:31:41,732 Okay. 464 00:31:42,234 --> 00:31:45,903 Well, I'm gonna go hit some golf balls and hook up with Warren... 465 00:31:46,279 --> 00:31:47,571 ...so try to get some sleep. 466 00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:51,117 - Okay. Bye. Doll. - May I make a suggestion? 467 00:31:51,284 --> 00:31:54,787 Try not drinking so early in the morning because you smell like a gin mill. 468 00:31:56,540 --> 00:31:58,958 I smell like a gin mill? 469 00:32:00,961 --> 00:32:04,797 Does Mommy? Does Mommy smell like a gin mill? 470 00:32:10,721 --> 00:32:12,555 Hello. 471 00:32:19,896 --> 00:32:22,648 Hey, Herb. How's it going? Apple for you today. 472 00:32:22,816 --> 00:32:24,150 Thanks, Mary. 473 00:32:24,317 --> 00:32:27,528 - Have a good day. See you later. - Looking good, honey. 474 00:32:58,268 --> 00:33:00,728 - Hi, Mary. - Hey, Mrs. Bailey. How you doing? 475 00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:03,230 Looks like we got a jock on our hands. 476 00:33:10,405 --> 00:33:13,157 - Here, you want the sports page? - Thank you. 477 00:33:14,034 --> 00:33:16,744 - Take care now. - Bye, guys. See you. 478 00:33:39,392 --> 00:33:41,435 Yeah. Remember, I have two. Mary. 479 00:33:41,603 --> 00:33:45,022 Yeah. You can have two halves. just like everybody else. 480 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:47,066 Yeah. That's good. 481 00:33:48,610 --> 00:33:50,903 - Will you marry me. Mary? - I would love to. Jimmy. 482 00:33:51,071 --> 00:33:54,907 But I'm already engaged to Freddie. 483 00:33:55,742 --> 00:33:58,744 - Who's Freddie? Me? - Yes, you. 484 00:33:59,246 --> 00:34:01,038 Will you marry me? 485 00:34:02,207 --> 00:34:05,376 What about Dolores? You gonna marry us both? 486 00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:07,169 I'm gonna kiss you. 487 00:34:07,462 --> 00:34:10,464 I think you're making out pretty well there. Okay. 488 00:34:11,633 --> 00:34:14,593 - Thanks, Mary. - You're welcome, Zack. 489 00:34:15,137 --> 00:34:17,179 - No onions. - No onions. 490 00:34:17,347 --> 00:34:19,390 No onions. How are you doing? 491 00:34:21,726 --> 00:34:23,227 Listen to this one. 492 00:34:23,395 --> 00:34:27,439 "Seeking sensitive Wasp doctor to share candlelit dinners... 493 00:34:27,607 --> 00:34:30,276 ...long walks in Coconut Grove, marriage." 494 00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:33,779 Is she looking for a corpse? You have to be specific when you write. 495 00:34:33,947 --> 00:34:38,200 You have to say "Seeking deaf-mute with, you know... 496 00:34:38,368 --> 00:34:40,286 ...3-pound cock and trust fund." 497 00:34:43,373 --> 00:34:46,542 I want a guy who can play 36 holes and still have enough energy... 498 00:34:46,710 --> 00:34:49,336 ...to take me and Warren to a ball game and eat hot dogs. 499 00:34:49,504 --> 00:34:53,299 I'm talking sausage hot dogs. Beer. Not lite beer, but beer. 500 00:34:53,466 --> 00:34:54,758 That's my ad. Print it up. 501 00:34:56,553 --> 00:34:59,722 A fatty who likes beer and golf. 502 00:34:59,890 --> 00:35:02,808 Jeez. Mary. where are you gonna find a gem like that? 503 00:35:04,519 --> 00:35:07,062 Okay. Well. Here's the catch. 504 00:35:07,314 --> 00:35:09,273 He has to be self-employed. 505 00:35:09,649 --> 00:35:10,691 Like a drug dealer? 506 00:35:12,068 --> 00:35:17,364 No, I was thinking along the lines, maybe, of somebody like an architect or something. 507 00:35:17,532 --> 00:35:20,826 But I want somebody with freedom in their job, you know? 508 00:35:20,994 --> 00:35:25,206 Somebody who can do it anywhere and just leave at a drop of a hat. 509 00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:29,376 And where would you and your beer-bellied architect be going to? 510 00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:31,503 - The Super Bowl? - Yeah. 511 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:32,922 That's good. 512 00:35:33,089 --> 00:35:35,257 I don't know. Maybe a few months in Nepal. 513 00:35:35,425 --> 00:35:36,675 Nepal. 514 00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:39,929 And you'd probably dump the poor guy halfway to Katmandu. 515 00:35:40,597 --> 00:35:41,931 What's that supposed to mean? 516 00:35:42,098 --> 00:35:45,017 - It means you change your mind too much. - No, I don't. 517 00:35:45,185 --> 00:35:46,352 Come off it, Mary. 518 00:35:46,519 --> 00:35:49,063 Remember that gorgeous, corn-fed white boy, honey... 519 00:35:49,231 --> 00:35:51,774 ...that you just dumped like yesterday's garbage? 520 00:35:51,942 --> 00:35:53,442 What was his name? Pack man. 521 00:35:55,070 --> 00:35:58,030 Okay. We had fun for a while. 522 00:35:58,198 --> 00:36:01,492 Mary, cut the crap. What really happened with Brett? 523 00:36:01,660 --> 00:36:03,869 Yeah. Brett seemed so sweet. 524 00:36:05,372 --> 00:36:08,540 You know what Tucker said Brett told him? 525 00:36:09,042 --> 00:36:11,210 He said that if Warren wasn't in my life... 526 00:36:11,378 --> 00:36:14,046 ...that he would have popped the question a long time ago. 527 00:36:15,006 --> 00:36:17,049 - Oh. Man. - What a shock. 528 00:36:17,592 --> 00:36:20,511 To hell with Brett. You know? 529 00:36:21,846 --> 00:36:23,931 I've got a vibrator. 530 00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:34,108 - Hello? - Hello? 531 00:36:34,275 --> 00:36:37,277 - Sully? - Hello? 532 00:36:38,071 --> 00:36:41,573 - Sully, is that you? - May I ask who's calling. Please? 533 00:36:41,741 --> 00:36:45,369 Sully. It's me. Healy. What's going on over there? 534 00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:49,623 Fucking Patrick Healy. You think your shit don't stink. 535 00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:51,458 Well, I got news for you. 536 00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:54,753 You're goddamn right it don't. 537 00:36:55,296 --> 00:36:58,090 Hey, I wanna thank you for the other day. 538 00:36:58,258 --> 00:37:01,635 You really helped me. You were right. 539 00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:03,721 Hold, please. 540 00:37:06,725 --> 00:37:08,434 I haven't even wanted a beer. 541 00:37:09,269 --> 00:37:11,145 - How are you, buddy? - I'm fine. 542 00:37:11,312 --> 00:37:15,941 I just wanted to let you know I'll have your car back to you in a couple hours. 543 00:37:16,109 --> 00:37:19,278 - I'm still staking out this bread's apartment. - Hey. 544 00:37:19,446 --> 00:37:24,283 Well, you were right. I was uptight. I was... 545 00:37:24,826 --> 00:37:26,577 ...tight. 546 00:37:27,203 --> 00:37:31,123 You know who I miss? Those guys in Boston. 547 00:37:35,128 --> 00:37:37,004 Hold on a sec. 548 00:37:52,312 --> 00:37:55,189 Those are the plays of the month. Thank you for joining us. 549 00:37:55,356 --> 00:38:00,319 Look forward to seeing you next Sunday on The Sports Machine. Have a good week. 550 00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:13,332 Oh, yeah. 551 00:38:14,918 --> 00:38:16,710 Here comes the money shot. 552 00:38:26,346 --> 00:38:28,680 First chink in the armor, Ted. 553 00:38:33,812 --> 00:38:35,354 Shit. 554 00:38:37,816 --> 00:38:40,150 Oh, yeah. 555 00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:50,536 Pop, you wanna get me a whiskey sour when you get a sec? 556 00:38:50,703 --> 00:38:51,745 Whiskey sour coming up. 557 00:38:51,913 --> 00:38:55,499 - I got some excellent news for you. - Oh. Yeah? Excellent? 558 00:38:55,667 --> 00:38:59,753 - I think your life's about to change. - Really? So you found her? 559 00:38:59,921 --> 00:39:06,385 Oh, yeah. And you were right, man. She really is something else. My God. 560 00:39:06,553 --> 00:39:11,056 Really? So she hasn't changed at all. Huh? 561 00:39:11,808 --> 00:39:16,019 Well, that I couldn't say. Let me ask you something. 562 00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:19,940 Was Mary a little big-boned back in high school? 563 00:39:20,108 --> 00:39:23,694 Big-boned? No, no, not at all. No. 564 00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:26,655 I guess she packed on a few pounds over the years. 565 00:39:27,073 --> 00:39:29,491 Oh, yeah? So she's a little...? She's a little chubby? 566 00:39:29,659 --> 00:39:32,411 I'd say about a deuce, deuce and a half. Not bad. 567 00:39:33,997 --> 00:39:35,914 My. A deuce and a half. Huh? 568 00:39:36,082 --> 00:39:38,500 Well, you know, you shit out a bunch of kids... 569 00:39:38,668 --> 00:39:41,128 ...and you're bound to put on a few pounds. 570 00:39:41,462 --> 00:39:43,964 So she's...? She's married? 571 00:39:44,132 --> 00:39:46,717 No, no, she's never been. That's the good news. 572 00:39:47,510 --> 00:39:48,844 Yeah. 573 00:39:49,012 --> 00:39:52,347 Four kids. Three different guys. but no rock. 574 00:39:52,515 --> 00:39:54,266 Hyperactive little fuckers too. 575 00:39:54,434 --> 00:39:57,436 Tough to keep up with in a wheelchair, I bet. 576 00:39:57,937 --> 00:40:00,981 She's in a wheelchair? Mary's in a wheelchair? 577 00:40:01,608 --> 00:40:03,525 I thought that was part of your kick. 578 00:40:03,693 --> 00:40:06,278 - Excuse me. I ordered a whiskey sour. - Yeah, whatever. 579 00:40:06,446 --> 00:40:09,281 Are you sure it's the same Mary? You got the right person? 580 00:40:09,449 --> 00:40:12,451 Oh, yeah. It's Mary. All right. The brother. Warren? 581 00:40:13,453 --> 00:40:15,120 Hey, don't look so shocked. Ted. 582 00:40:15,288 --> 00:40:20,334 It's been a long time. I bet you've changed a lot over the last 13 years. Haven't you? 583 00:40:20,501 --> 00:40:24,963 - What, do you think your shit don't stink? - No, I don't think... I mean, yes. It doe... 584 00:40:25,131 --> 00:40:27,633 - I don't... - Okay, I got all the information you need. 585 00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,135 I got it off her bookie. Nice guy. 586 00:40:30,637 --> 00:40:34,473 You really should look her up, Ted. I mean. She's a real spark plug, this one. 587 00:40:34,641 --> 00:40:38,268 Well, thank you. Thanks, Healy. Good work. 588 00:40:38,436 --> 00:40:42,856 Ted, don't you want the name of the housing project? 589 00:40:44,901 --> 00:40:46,401 What? 590 00:40:46,569 --> 00:40:47,611 ...For 1995. 591 00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:50,239 See the Sarene boys on Route 1 in South Brattleboro... 592 00:40:50,406 --> 00:40:54,034 ...and right here on Jefferson Boulevard in Warwick. You'll be... 593 00:41:07,924 --> 00:41:11,093 Well. It hurts from the bottom 594 00:41:11,261 --> 00:41:14,638 And it hurts down to your soul 595 00:41:14,806 --> 00:41:18,767 That's because true love is not nice 596 00:41:21,396 --> 00:41:23,939 And it brings up hurt 597 00:41:24,107 --> 00:41:27,609 From when you were 5 years old 598 00:41:27,777 --> 00:41:31,697 That's because true love is not nice 599 00:41:31,864 --> 00:41:33,490 No 600 00:41:34,492 --> 00:41:38,328 Oh, pain. Pain. Pain 601 00:41:38,496 --> 00:41:41,540 Ain't that just love's name? 602 00:41:41,708 --> 00:41:47,087 Love can bring up hurt From way down low 603 00:41:48,006 --> 00:41:51,216 It now be emphasized 604 00:41:51,384 --> 00:41:55,262 True love is just not civilized 605 00:41:55,430 --> 00:41:57,806 True love is not nice 606 00:41:57,974 --> 00:41:59,933 No, no 607 00:42:06,899 --> 00:42:08,400 Where are you going? 608 00:42:09,777 --> 00:42:13,905 - Oh. I resigned. - Good luck in Miami, Pat. 609 00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:17,951 Miami? What are you doing in Miami? 610 00:42:18,745 --> 00:42:21,204 I took a job offer. 611 00:42:21,372 --> 00:42:22,914 With who? 612 00:42:23,333 --> 00:42:26,752 With Rice-a-Roni. 613 00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:30,088 Isn't that the San Francisco treat? 614 00:42:30,256 --> 00:42:32,007 It was. 615 00:42:32,717 --> 00:42:35,177 - They're changing their image. - Yeah, well, listen. 616 00:42:35,345 --> 00:42:37,763 - I've been thinking about what you said. - Good. Good. 617 00:42:37,930 --> 00:42:41,266 And I still wanna look her up. 618 00:42:41,434 --> 00:42:45,145 Who? Roller pig? Are you nuts? 619 00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:48,774 I thought you said she was a real spark plug. 620 00:42:48,941 --> 00:42:52,736 No, no, I said butt plug. She's heinous. 621 00:42:55,782 --> 00:42:58,784 You know what? All the same. I think I wanna call her. 622 00:42:58,951 --> 00:43:01,036 I mean. I know it sounds crazy... 623 00:43:01,204 --> 00:43:03,455 ...but. I don't know. maybe I can help her out. 624 00:43:03,623 --> 00:43:07,417 I feel bad, you know. The poor thing. she's in a wheelchair for God's sakes. 625 00:43:07,585 --> 00:43:12,255 - It's a bunion. It'll heal. - Bunion? You... I thought... 626 00:43:12,423 --> 00:43:15,050 You know what? That's not even it. The point is. I just... 627 00:43:15,218 --> 00:43:20,847 I know this doesn't make sense to you, but I can't just turn it off that fast. 628 00:43:23,309 --> 00:43:26,520 I guess I still have feelings for her. 629 00:43:27,647 --> 00:43:30,482 This girl really means something to you. Huh? 630 00:43:34,779 --> 00:43:36,154 All right. 631 00:43:36,781 --> 00:43:38,365 Tell you what. 632 00:43:39,659 --> 00:43:42,411 I'll get you her number as soon as she gets back from Japan. 633 00:43:42,578 --> 00:43:44,746 Thank you, I appreciate... 634 00:43:44,914 --> 00:43:49,000 Japan? What's happening in Japan? Why is she going to Japan? 635 00:43:50,044 --> 00:43:52,504 You've heard of mail-order brides, haven't you? 636 00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:55,966 - Well. They go that way too. - Mary's a...? 637 00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,468 What are they, desperate? She's a whale. 638 00:43:58,636 --> 00:44:02,973 Don't forget. It's a sumo culture. They pay by the pound there. 639 00:44:04,475 --> 00:44:06,184 Sort of like tuna. 640 00:44:07,687 --> 00:44:09,688 What happened to...? You said she was single. 641 00:44:09,856 --> 00:44:13,900 - Remember. No rock? - You had your window. Ted. You blew it. 642 00:44:16,779 --> 00:44:18,822 I had my window? 643 00:44:20,825 --> 00:44:24,870 I'm sorry, buddy. It's just, you know, you're taking this all wrong. 644 00:44:25,037 --> 00:44:28,582 Okay? I mean, come on. You're liberated. I feel liberated. 645 00:44:28,749 --> 00:44:32,335 I mean. You're in therapy thinking you blew it with the greatest girl ever... 646 00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:35,547 ...and it turns out that getting your dick stuck in your zipper... 647 00:44:35,715 --> 00:44:37,924 ...was the best thing that ever happened to you. 648 00:44:38,092 --> 00:44:41,344 - Say it a little louder? - I'm sorry, but it was. 649 00:44:42,805 --> 00:44:44,890 I never told you that. 650 00:44:45,933 --> 00:44:48,643 Christ. Ted. I was only four towns away. 651 00:44:48,895 --> 00:44:51,521 - Excuse me. - Oh. Sure, sweetheart. 652 00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:52,814 Oh, man. I gotta go. 653 00:44:52,982 --> 00:44:56,735 I gotta get up at 6 a.m. and help my boss's brother move into his apartment. 654 00:44:56,903 --> 00:45:00,989 - Your boss's brother? Who's that? - I don't even know. I never met him. 655 00:45:01,157 --> 00:45:04,409 Ted, you gotta finish that novel so you can quit that stupid magazine. 656 00:45:04,577 --> 00:45:05,744 Yeah. 657 00:45:11,918 --> 00:45:13,793 Nice swing. 658 00:45:21,344 --> 00:45:23,178 Christ. Hit a house. 659 00:45:24,222 --> 00:45:26,097 I haven't swung the wrenches in a while. 660 00:45:31,479 --> 00:45:33,980 Would you mind giving me some pointers here? 661 00:45:35,233 --> 00:45:38,193 Yeah. Sure. Don't talk in someone's backswing. 662 00:45:39,195 --> 00:45:40,904 Oh, thanks. 663 00:45:42,114 --> 00:45:45,283 - I'm gonna go get a soda. You want one? - No, thanks. 664 00:45:49,121 --> 00:45:53,166 Look. I'm sorry to bother you again. but you got change of a dollar? 665 00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:55,210 No. 666 00:45:56,087 --> 00:45:58,588 All I got are these damn Nepalese coins. 667 00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:04,302 You've been to Nepal? 668 00:46:07,473 --> 00:46:09,140 Not in months. 669 00:46:09,308 --> 00:46:11,893 I don't even know why I bought the damn place. 670 00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:22,988 - Nice meeting you again. - You too. Again. 671 00:46:25,491 --> 00:46:26,700 So. What's your name? 672 00:46:27,827 --> 00:46:29,661 Pat Healy. 673 00:46:32,540 --> 00:46:33,957 Wanna know mine? 674 00:46:35,001 --> 00:46:37,002 I already know it, Mary. 675 00:46:38,588 --> 00:46:39,671 How'd you know that? 676 00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:43,341 Because it's right there on your golf bag. 677 00:46:50,433 --> 00:46:51,850 Damn. 678 00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:55,228 Wow. Are those blueprints? 679 00:46:55,396 --> 00:47:00,358 Oh, these? They're just some projects I'm working on. 680 00:47:00,526 --> 00:47:03,903 Museum, hospital for kids. 681 00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:05,739 Really? Are you an architect? 682 00:47:06,365 --> 00:47:09,618 Just till I get my PGA tour card. 683 00:47:10,494 --> 00:47:15,790 No, I mean. Are they putting up some sort of a new museum in town. or...? 684 00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:19,461 Well, to tell you the truth, I'm sort of burnt-out on talking about it. 685 00:47:19,629 --> 00:47:21,713 Oh, I'm sorry. 686 00:47:21,881 --> 00:47:24,299 It's just a job. Really. Something to keep me moving. 687 00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:28,637 - My real passion is my hobby. - Really? What's that? 688 00:47:29,138 --> 00:47:30,889 I work with retards. 689 00:47:32,975 --> 00:47:35,977 Isn't that a little politically incorrect? 690 00:47:36,145 --> 00:47:38,313 Well, the hell with that. 691 00:47:38,481 --> 00:47:41,900 No one's gonna tell me who I can and can't work with, right? 692 00:47:42,068 --> 00:47:45,695 - No, I mean... - We got this one kid. Mongo. 693 00:47:45,863 --> 00:47:49,074 He's got a forehead like a drive-in movie theater. He's a good shit... 694 00:47:49,241 --> 00:47:51,117 ...so we don't bust his chops too much. 695 00:47:51,285 --> 00:47:55,080 - So one day. Mongo gets out of his cage... - What, they keep him in a cage? 696 00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:58,583 - Well. It's just an enclosure. - No, but they keep him confined? 697 00:47:58,751 --> 00:48:00,794 - Right, yeah. - That's bullshit. 698 00:48:00,961 --> 00:48:02,253 Well, that's what I said. 699 00:48:02,421 --> 00:48:05,465 - So I went out and I got him a leash. - A leash? 700 00:48:05,633 --> 00:48:09,928 Yeah. One you can hook on to the clothesline and he can run back and forth... 701 00:48:10,096 --> 00:48:15,642 ...and there's plenty of room for him to dig and play. 702 00:48:15,810 --> 00:48:19,229 That kid has really... He's really blossomed, you know? 703 00:48:19,397 --> 00:48:21,856 Now I can take him to movies... 704 00:48:23,317 --> 00:48:24,442 ...baseball games. 705 00:48:24,610 --> 00:48:26,611 You know, fun stuff. 706 00:48:27,488 --> 00:48:30,031 - Yeah. - Sounds cool. 707 00:48:30,199 --> 00:48:33,535 Oh, yeah, it's cool for them. but for me, it's much more than that. 708 00:48:33,703 --> 00:48:36,830 For me, it's heaven. You know? 709 00:48:37,039 --> 00:48:41,501 Those goofy bastards are just about the best thing I've got going in this... 710 00:48:42,503 --> 00:48:44,087 ...crazy world. 711 00:48:47,550 --> 00:48:50,802 Hey, dipshit. be careful with that thing, will you? 712 00:48:51,303 --> 00:48:53,722 - What? - You heard me. 713 00:48:53,889 --> 00:48:56,891 You already put a fucking nick in my piano. 714 00:48:57,059 --> 00:49:00,145 Well, I'll try to be a little more careful. 715 00:49:00,730 --> 00:49:03,356 What. Are you fading? You wimping out on me? 716 00:49:03,524 --> 00:49:06,860 It's just that this is a little bit heavy. that's all. 717 00:49:07,027 --> 00:49:10,280 Heavy? What I wouldn't give to know what heavy feels like... 718 00:49:10,448 --> 00:49:12,031 ...you insensitive prick. 719 00:49:12,658 --> 00:49:16,286 - No, I didn't mean that. - Yeah, yeah. I'm going down the street... 720 00:49:16,454 --> 00:49:18,705 ...to get coffee. - Wait. I'll get you the coffee. 721 00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:21,583 Could you just...? Hey, I'm sorry. 722 00:49:35,222 --> 00:49:37,015 Hey, you! 723 00:49:37,183 --> 00:49:40,059 You with the furniture. Hey. 724 00:49:40,728 --> 00:49:43,730 - I'm Steve Tyler with The Troubleshooters. - Oh. Yeah. Hey. 725 00:49:43,898 --> 00:49:46,483 Do you know your truck is parked in a handicapped zone? 726 00:49:46,650 --> 00:49:49,861 - Oh. It's okay. The guy who... - You don't look very handicapped to me. 727 00:49:50,029 --> 00:49:53,865 - Why would you do something like that? - I'm not handicapped. But the guy who has... 728 00:49:54,033 --> 00:49:57,368 Are you getting this? Make sure you get a close-up on his face. 729 00:49:57,536 --> 00:50:00,371 There's a handicapped guy. he's got an electric wheelchair. 730 00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:04,334 There's a disabled schmuck who's in a wheelchair. He's coming back. 731 00:50:08,714 --> 00:50:12,383 Tender facial tissue left of L7. 732 00:50:14,220 --> 00:50:15,970 Hey, Bob? 733 00:50:16,514 --> 00:50:18,556 Remember Mary? 734 00:50:19,058 --> 00:50:21,059 Oh, yeah. 735 00:50:21,393 --> 00:50:23,561 I remember Mary. 736 00:50:24,355 --> 00:50:28,107 Hey, I saw her a couple months ago at a convention in Las Vegas. 737 00:50:28,859 --> 00:50:30,610 How could you see her at a convention? 738 00:50:30,778 --> 00:50:33,530 Well, I'm a chiropractor. she's an orthopedic surgeon. 739 00:50:33,697 --> 00:50:35,240 She's a what? 740 00:50:35,407 --> 00:50:40,787 She's an orthopedic surgeon. and...she's still a fox. 741 00:50:42,665 --> 00:50:45,124 What if the families don't want a class action? 742 00:50:45,793 --> 00:50:49,337 God, that's what I've been trying to explain to you people for the last hour. 743 00:50:49,505 --> 00:50:51,965 Okay. Fine, we'll go over it again. I... 744 00:50:52,132 --> 00:50:53,132 Mary's a fox. 745 00:50:53,300 --> 00:50:54,676 - What? - What? 746 00:50:54,844 --> 00:50:56,928 Mary's a fox? What are you...? 747 00:50:57,096 --> 00:51:01,391 Folks, here, let's... We'll break up. We'll spitball this tomorrow, okay? 748 00:51:02,810 --> 00:51:05,895 - What the hell are you talking about? - Mary? My Mary? 749 00:51:06,063 --> 00:51:09,023 She's not in Japan. She has no rug rats running around. 750 00:51:09,191 --> 00:51:12,777 My friend says she's a fox. A surgeon fox. 751 00:51:12,945 --> 00:51:15,196 I don't get it. I don't know what you're... Healy... 752 00:51:15,364 --> 00:51:17,991 Think about it. He never even looked her up down there. 753 00:51:18,158 --> 00:51:22,245 He was there closing his deal with the Rice-a-Roni people the whole time. 754 00:51:25,666 --> 00:51:27,208 What's up with your head? 755 00:51:27,376 --> 00:51:31,170 Oh, I get hives tap-dancing for these idiots. 756 00:51:31,338 --> 00:51:33,381 I get a little stressed out. 757 00:51:33,549 --> 00:51:37,677 Jeez. You know. I feel like a royal shit because I set you up with this guy. 758 00:51:40,014 --> 00:51:42,390 You know what you gotta do. You gotta call her. 759 00:51:43,017 --> 00:51:46,686 Fuck calling her. I'm going down there. 760 00:51:46,854 --> 00:51:50,440 Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Asap. 761 00:51:51,191 --> 00:51:52,692 So who's the lucky guy? 762 00:51:53,986 --> 00:51:57,488 His name's Pat. Met him at the driving range. 763 00:51:58,240 --> 00:51:59,282 Is he good-looking? 764 00:52:00,910 --> 00:52:02,785 He's no Steve Young. 765 00:52:03,662 --> 00:52:04,954 So. What is he like? 766 00:52:06,248 --> 00:52:07,874 I don't know. 767 00:52:08,375 --> 00:52:10,543 Kind of a mook. A schlep. 768 00:52:10,711 --> 00:52:12,879 Why the hell are you going out with a schlep? 769 00:52:13,047 --> 00:52:18,426 It's not like that, Magda. You know. It's like that movie Harold and Maude. 770 00:52:19,553 --> 00:52:20,803 I don't watch the new ones. 771 00:52:20,971 --> 00:52:24,641 Well, you should because it's probably the greatest love story of our time. 772 00:52:24,808 --> 00:52:29,646 The point is. Is that love isn't about money... 773 00:52:29,813 --> 00:52:32,482 ...or social standings or age. 774 00:52:32,650 --> 00:52:36,736 It's about two people connecting, having something in common. 775 00:52:36,904 --> 00:52:39,113 You know, kindred spirits. 776 00:52:39,281 --> 00:52:42,742 Fuck kindred spirits. My little Puffy here is gonna tell you... 777 00:52:42,910 --> 00:52:46,412 ...everything you need to know about that guy in about two seconds flat. 778 00:52:46,580 --> 00:52:49,707 If Puffy starts yapping. He's a loser. 779 00:52:49,875 --> 00:52:54,420 If he likes him. Honey, then you've got yourself a keeper. 780 00:53:19,905 --> 00:53:25,368 Yeah. Pufferball likes it when I rub his belly. 781 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:28,329 That is amazing. 782 00:53:28,497 --> 00:53:33,209 He doesn't like anybody. He never usually likes guys. 783 00:53:33,377 --> 00:53:36,963 - He doesn't like bad guys. - Is that right? 784 00:53:37,131 --> 00:53:39,674 He can tell that you're an animal nut. 785 00:53:39,967 --> 00:53:43,302 - You are. Aren't you? - You got me pegged. 786 00:53:43,470 --> 00:53:47,932 You know, in Nepal. the villagers there called me kin ton ti... 787 00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:53,813 ...which means "noble man who is loved by many animal... 788 00:53:53,981 --> 00:53:56,899 ...who, in kind, he loveth too." 789 00:53:58,819 --> 00:54:01,029 Would you like a cup of tea or something? 790 00:54:01,196 --> 00:54:03,823 I'd love a brewski if you got one. 791 00:54:03,991 --> 00:54:05,491 We can do that. 792 00:54:05,659 --> 00:54:09,162 Hey, Magda. why don't you help me in the kitchen? 793 00:54:09,872 --> 00:54:12,457 Oh, yeah. Oh. Yeah. Certainly. Of course. 794 00:54:18,922 --> 00:54:21,883 Puffer doesn't like bad guys, does he? 795 00:54:24,678 --> 00:54:29,390 Puffer? 796 00:54:30,851 --> 00:54:32,518 Puffer, come on. Boy. 797 00:54:32,686 --> 00:54:35,063 Would you like a little clam dip, doll? 798 00:54:35,230 --> 00:54:38,107 No, thank you. I'd love a Bundt cake if you have one. 799 00:54:39,860 --> 00:54:41,152 - Bundt cake? - Bundt cake? 800 00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:48,701 One, two. Three. Four. Five. 801 00:54:49,369 --> 00:54:50,411 One, two. Three... 802 00:54:50,579 --> 00:54:55,458 Hey, Pat. Do you want a Budweiser or a Heinie? 803 00:54:55,626 --> 00:54:57,043 Yeah. Whatever. 804 00:54:57,211 --> 00:54:59,587 Come on. Puffer. Stay away from the light. 805 00:55:02,007 --> 00:55:03,716 Okay. I'll just get you a regular. 806 00:55:33,914 --> 00:55:35,289 All set? 807 00:55:43,298 --> 00:55:44,632 Good pooch. 808 00:55:45,175 --> 00:55:48,845 All we had were some Oreos. How does that sound. Honey? 809 00:55:50,097 --> 00:55:53,099 Oh, my God. 810 00:55:53,767 --> 00:55:57,478 He's got him wrapped up like a baby. 811 00:55:57,980 --> 00:56:00,940 He was... He was a little chilly. 812 00:56:04,444 --> 00:56:05,611 Well, here we are. 813 00:56:05,779 --> 00:56:06,821 - The museum? - Yeah. 814 00:56:06,989 --> 00:56:10,116 - I thought we were going to dinner. - We will, but I have a surprise. 815 00:56:10,284 --> 00:56:13,202 - A surprise? - Yeah, it's the architecture exhibit. 816 00:56:13,495 --> 00:56:15,163 - Architecture exhibit? - Yeah. 817 00:56:15,330 --> 00:56:19,125 - I gotta eat something or I get the shakes. - We'll eat in 20 minutes. 818 00:56:19,293 --> 00:56:21,752 My friend Tucker is upstairs. I want you to meet him. 819 00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:25,339 - He's an architect too. Come on. Yeah. - Architect? 820 00:56:25,507 --> 00:56:26,841 Tucker. 821 00:56:27,009 --> 00:56:31,095 This is amazing. This just blows me away. 822 00:56:31,263 --> 00:56:35,725 What do you think this falls under? Is this art deco. Or is it art nouveau? 823 00:56:36,768 --> 00:56:39,562 - Deco. Deco. Yeah. - Yeah. 824 00:56:40,022 --> 00:56:41,772 It's beautiful. 825 00:56:42,149 --> 00:56:45,860 Is this...? Okay. Is this a vestibule. Or is it a portico? 826 00:56:46,028 --> 00:56:47,486 What is the difference? 827 00:56:47,654 --> 00:56:53,201 When you're looking at architecture, try to visualize the buildings as a whole. 828 00:56:53,368 --> 00:56:57,830 You know, try to see them in their natural state. 829 00:56:57,998 --> 00:57:03,669 In their totalitarianism, so to speak. 830 00:57:03,837 --> 00:57:08,174 - Stone-crab time. Let's go to Joe's, huh? - Hey, Tucker. 831 00:57:10,594 --> 00:57:12,345 Mary. 832 00:57:12,512 --> 00:57:13,763 How are you? 833 00:57:14,181 --> 00:57:15,890 Good. I'm glad we saw you. 834 00:57:17,517 --> 00:57:19,352 Come on. Like you mean it. 835 00:57:19,519 --> 00:57:22,647 Tucker. This is my friend Pat Healy. 836 00:57:22,814 --> 00:57:25,441 - Oh. It's a pleasure to meet you. Patrick. - Same here. 837 00:57:25,609 --> 00:57:28,694 - Pat is an architect as well. - Oh. Really? 838 00:57:28,862 --> 00:57:32,240 - Where are your offices? - Mainly. I work out of Boston. 839 00:57:32,407 --> 00:57:34,200 Boston, huh? 840 00:57:34,368 --> 00:57:37,703 - Did you get your degree up there? - You bet. 841 00:57:38,038 --> 00:57:40,164 Really? Where did you study? 842 00:57:40,707 --> 00:57:42,083 Harvard. 843 00:57:42,251 --> 00:57:45,378 Then you must have studied under Kim Green. 844 00:57:45,587 --> 00:57:46,796 Well, among others. 845 00:57:48,298 --> 00:57:51,926 You know, Pat does projects all over the world. 846 00:57:52,094 --> 00:57:54,303 Really? Where would I have seen your work? 847 00:57:55,055 --> 00:57:57,223 Well, have you been to...? 848 00:57:57,391 --> 00:57:59,141 Well, let me see. 849 00:57:59,309 --> 00:58:02,186 Santiago. Chile? 850 00:58:02,354 --> 00:58:05,648 Twice last year. Which building is yours? 851 00:58:07,067 --> 00:58:12,530 - Are you familiar with the soccer stadium? - Did you build the Estadio Olímpico? 852 00:58:13,156 --> 00:58:18,369 No, just down the street. the Celinto Catayente Towers. 853 00:58:18,745 --> 00:58:21,163 It's quite a fine example. In fact. 854 00:58:21,331 --> 00:58:23,290 I recommend next time you're up that way... 855 00:58:23,458 --> 00:58:28,045 ...that you drop in and take a ganders at it yourself. 856 00:58:29,881 --> 00:58:33,259 - You know, I really should take your card. - Sure. 857 00:58:34,886 --> 00:58:37,388 As I live and breathe. Will you excuse us for a second? 858 00:58:37,556 --> 00:58:41,142 - I'll call you. Okay? - Hey, Earl. 859 00:58:41,309 --> 00:58:44,270 Earl Stein, you old sheep-fucker. How the hell are you? 860 00:58:44,438 --> 00:58:46,230 My name's Brian. 861 00:58:46,398 --> 00:58:48,858 Good one. What the hell are you doing out here, Earl? 862 00:58:49,026 --> 00:58:50,693 No, no. My name's Brian. 863 00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:52,903 Brian Mone. 864 00:58:54,322 --> 00:58:58,659 Oh, I see. Okay, yeah. Whatever you say. "Brian." 865 00:58:58,827 --> 00:59:00,619 I'll see you at the office, huh? 866 00:59:00,787 --> 00:59:03,330 I'll tell you some stories about this weirdo. 867 00:59:04,291 --> 00:59:05,875 You know that guy? 868 00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:14,341 Hey, thanks for picking me up. Man. 869 00:59:14,509 --> 00:59:17,511 Yeah. No problem. I've been driving for like 15 hours straight... 870 00:59:17,679 --> 00:59:19,555 ...so I could use the company. 871 00:59:19,723 --> 00:59:24,435 I know what you mean. I've been standing in the same spot for five and a half hours. 872 00:59:24,603 --> 00:59:27,229 You know they made it illegal to hitchhike in this state? 873 00:59:27,397 --> 00:59:31,108 Really? That must make it really tough. 874 00:59:31,276 --> 00:59:35,362 So. What's going on with you? You a salesman, or...? 875 00:59:35,781 --> 00:59:39,950 No. No. I'm nothing. 876 00:59:40,118 --> 00:59:41,786 I am. 877 00:59:42,579 --> 00:59:44,080 - Yeah? - I'm a salesman. 878 00:59:44,247 --> 00:59:47,083 - I'm gonna start my own company. - Really? 879 00:59:47,250 --> 00:59:49,001 You want in? 880 00:59:53,173 --> 00:59:54,340 No. I'm not... 881 00:59:54,508 --> 00:59:56,634 I don't really have any. you know, money, or... 882 00:59:56,802 --> 00:59:59,553 You heard of this thing, the 8 Minute Abs? 883 00:59:59,721 --> 01:00:02,473 Yeah, sure, 8 Minute Abs. yeah. The exercise video. 884 01:00:02,641 --> 01:00:07,311 Yeah. Well. This is gonna blow that right out of the water. Listen to this. 885 01:00:08,313 --> 01:00:11,982 7 Minute Abs. 886 01:00:13,985 --> 01:00:17,446 Right. Yes. Okay, all right. I see where you're going. 887 01:00:17,614 --> 01:00:21,200 Think about it. You walk into a video store. see 8 Minute Abs sitting there... 888 01:00:21,368 --> 01:00:25,246 ...there's 7 Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man? 889 01:00:25,413 --> 01:00:30,334 - I would go for the 7. Yeah. - Bingo. Man. Bingo. 7 Minute Abs. 890 01:00:30,502 --> 01:00:33,921 And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8 Minute folk. 891 01:00:34,089 --> 01:00:36,465 You guarantee it? How do you do that? 892 01:00:36,633 --> 01:00:40,052 If you're not happy with the first seven minutes... 893 01:00:40,220 --> 01:00:43,681 ...we're gonna send you the extra minute free. 894 01:00:43,849 --> 01:00:46,892 See, that's it. That's our motto. That's where we're coming from. 895 01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:48,435 That's from A to B. 896 01:00:48,979 --> 01:00:51,063 That's right. That's good. That's good. 897 01:00:51,857 --> 01:00:54,859 Unless. Of course, somebody comes up with 6 Minute Abs. 898 01:00:55,026 --> 01:00:57,319 Then you're in trouble, huh? 899 01:01:03,785 --> 01:01:06,579 No. No. No. Not six. 900 01:01:06,746 --> 01:01:09,290 I said seven. Nobody's coming up with six. 901 01:01:09,457 --> 01:01:10,875 Who works out in six minutes? 902 01:01:11,042 --> 01:01:15,296 You won't even get your heart going. Not even a mouse on a wheel. 903 01:01:15,463 --> 01:01:17,381 - Good point. - Seven's the key number here. 904 01:01:17,549 --> 01:01:20,885 - Think about it. 7-Elevens. Seven dwarfs. - Seven, yeah. 905 01:01:21,052 --> 01:01:23,095 Seven, man, that's the number. 906 01:01:23,263 --> 01:01:25,556 Seven chipmunks twirling on a branch... 907 01:01:25,724 --> 01:01:28,267 ...eating lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. 908 01:01:28,435 --> 01:01:31,562 You know that old children's tale from the sea. 909 01:01:31,730 --> 01:01:34,190 It's like you're dreaming about Gorgonzola cheese... 910 01:01:34,357 --> 01:01:38,068 ...when it's clearly Brie time, baby. 911 01:01:38,570 --> 01:01:40,321 Step into my office. 912 01:01:40,488 --> 01:01:43,574 - Why? - Because you're fucking fired. 913 01:01:44,284 --> 01:01:46,785 Yeah. You know what? I gotta pee. I'm gonna pull over. 914 01:01:46,953 --> 01:01:51,957 Your car seats are making me itchy. Man. What are these made out of, cactus? 915 01:01:56,880 --> 01:02:00,799 I'm only waiting seven minutes total. 916 01:02:09,434 --> 01:02:13,270 - Hey, wait your turn. - Sorry. I didn't get a... 917 01:02:15,690 --> 01:02:18,359 - We gotta get out of here. - Wait a minute. Hey. Hey. 918 01:02:20,737 --> 01:02:23,656 - This is a raid. - No. No, no, no. I was peeing. 919 01:02:23,823 --> 01:02:25,783 That's what I was doing. I was just peeing. 920 01:02:25,951 --> 01:02:28,786 - I was peeing too. - Yeah, I'm sure you were all just pissing. 921 01:02:28,954 --> 01:02:32,790 - Let's go. Let's move it out. - Let's go. In the truck. Everybody. 922 01:02:34,167 --> 01:02:38,462 Holy Shit. Jimmy Shay, is that you? 923 01:02:53,395 --> 01:02:56,605 - No, really... - Oh. My God. 924 01:02:56,982 --> 01:02:58,649 Ted? 925 01:03:01,486 --> 01:03:04,530 If you let me talk to you for one second outside of the truck. 926 01:03:04,698 --> 01:03:08,075 - Into the truck. Get in the truck. - Look, I still have to pee. I wasn't... 927 01:03:08,243 --> 01:03:09,910 - Let's go. - Can I have a cup? 928 01:03:10,078 --> 01:03:11,704 See, hon? I told you he was gay. 929 01:03:11,871 --> 01:03:16,625 We'll be right back with more Cops, live from the heartland. 930 01:03:41,609 --> 01:03:43,694 That grandmother of yours is really something. 931 01:03:43,862 --> 01:03:45,904 Who. Magda? No, Magda's not my grandmother. 932 01:03:46,072 --> 01:03:50,200 She rents the apartment next door. Her husband died a couple years ago... 933 01:03:50,368 --> 01:03:53,996 ...and I don't think she likes being alone, so. You know. She just hangs out. 934 01:03:54,164 --> 01:03:57,458 - Doesn't cramp your style? - Sadly, no. 935 01:03:57,876 --> 01:04:02,296 You know, sometimes I wish I could be like Magda and not go home. 936 01:04:02,672 --> 01:04:07,551 Yeah. I'd like to bounce around for a while and do some traveling. 937 01:04:07,719 --> 01:04:10,679 I don't know why anybody would wanna bounce around... 938 01:04:10,847 --> 01:04:13,307 ...you know. If they had their own condo in Nepal. 939 01:04:13,475 --> 01:04:16,643 - I'd be there in a second. - I'd sell it. 940 01:04:16,811 --> 01:04:19,521 - Yeah? - Yeah. Start fresh in a new place... 941 01:04:19,689 --> 01:04:21,815 ...give up the architect game. 942 01:04:21,983 --> 01:04:26,362 Slow things down a bit. read more books. See more movies. 943 01:04:26,529 --> 01:04:28,364 Are you a movie buff? 944 01:04:28,531 --> 01:04:32,242 Well, I try to be. But it's tough going with all the crap they make today. 945 01:04:32,410 --> 01:04:35,537 I guess I just wish they made movies like they used to make. 946 01:04:35,705 --> 01:04:39,333 You know, classics like The Karate Kid or Harold and Maude. 947 01:04:41,836 --> 01:04:44,838 Harold and Maude is my all-time favorite movie. 948 01:04:45,006 --> 01:04:48,384 - Don't bust my chops. I know it's corny... - Pat. I'm not kidding. 949 01:04:48,551 --> 01:04:53,055 I think Harold and Maude is one of the greatest love stories of our time. 950 01:04:56,267 --> 01:04:58,894 Here I thought I was the only one. 951 01:05:00,063 --> 01:05:03,273 You're too good to be true. Come on. Let's go dance. 952 01:05:10,490 --> 01:05:12,199 Hey, guys. 953 01:05:18,289 --> 01:05:19,915 So... 954 01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:26,964 - Yeah, well, I guess this is it. Huh? - I guess. 955 01:05:27,132 --> 01:05:29,800 - I'll see you around. - Okay. 956 01:05:31,094 --> 01:05:33,470 - Mary? - Yeah? 957 01:05:34,639 --> 01:05:35,931 - Forget it. - What? 958 01:05:36,099 --> 01:05:38,934 - No, no, it's stupid. - What? Come on. You can say it. 959 01:05:39,102 --> 01:05:41,937 - No, really. It's moronic. - Just say it. 960 01:05:42,105 --> 01:05:44,857 Can I feel your bosoms before I go? 961 01:05:48,862 --> 01:05:50,737 Knock yourself out. 962 01:06:03,376 --> 01:06:07,588 - Okey-doke. So tomorrow night? - Sure. 963 01:06:18,057 --> 01:06:21,185 Man, they never look like you'd expect. do they? 964 01:06:22,979 --> 01:06:26,565 That's probably how he got his victim to drop his guard. 965 01:06:27,692 --> 01:06:29,776 Where'd they find the body? 966 01:06:30,028 --> 01:06:34,031 In a big red bag on the front passenger seat. 967 01:06:34,199 --> 01:06:36,867 All hacked up. 968 01:06:37,202 --> 01:06:38,952 Gruesome. 969 01:06:39,496 --> 01:06:42,206 Real psycho, this one. 970 01:06:43,208 --> 01:06:47,044 Hey, you're a little worked up. Let me do the talking. 971 01:06:50,715 --> 01:06:54,301 - I'm Detective Stabler. This is Krevoy. - Look, I didn't solicit any sex, okay? 972 01:06:54,469 --> 01:06:55,928 This is a huge misunderstanding. 973 01:06:56,095 --> 01:06:58,889 I was going out to pee. I'm walking in the bushes... 974 01:06:59,057 --> 01:07:01,808 ...l trip over this guy. and there were all these cops and... 975 01:07:01,976 --> 01:07:05,729 Ted, Ted. Ted. It's okay. We believe you. 976 01:07:12,612 --> 01:07:16,698 The problem is. we found your friend in the car. 977 01:07:18,117 --> 01:07:20,202 Oh, the hitchhiker? 978 01:07:20,370 --> 01:07:22,788 That's what this is about? The hitchhiker? 979 01:07:24,249 --> 01:07:27,501 Oh, great. Just my luck. 980 01:07:27,669 --> 01:07:29,753 I get caught for everything. 981 01:07:29,921 --> 01:07:33,799 So you admit it? 982 01:07:34,092 --> 01:07:36,885 Yeah. Guilty as charged. 983 01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:39,805 Look. I know that you guys have got a job to do. All right? 984 01:07:39,973 --> 01:07:43,225 And I'm really sorry. I did it. I admit it. 985 01:07:43,393 --> 01:07:48,105 You know, the guy even told me. The hitchhiker told me it was illegal, so... 986 01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:50,774 Well... 987 01:07:53,486 --> 01:07:55,028 ...can you tell us his name? 988 01:07:59,075 --> 01:08:01,034 No, I didn't catch it. 989 01:08:01,703 --> 01:08:05,706 Can we cut to the chase? I mean, am I. Like, in a lot of trouble here. or...? 990 01:08:06,499 --> 01:08:08,500 First. Tell us why you did it. 991 01:08:08,668 --> 01:08:10,586 Why I did it? 992 01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:15,090 I don't know. Boredom? 993 01:08:16,968 --> 01:08:19,177 Guy turns out to be a blabbermouth. 994 01:08:19,345 --> 01:08:21,680 Just would not shut up. I mean, just... 995 01:08:21,848 --> 01:08:27,227 Ted, this wasn't your first time. Was it? 996 01:08:28,646 --> 01:08:30,188 No. 997 01:08:31,024 --> 01:08:36,695 - How many are we talking here? - Hitchhikers? My whole life? 998 01:08:37,697 --> 01:08:42,075 I don't know. Twenty-five. 50. I mean. Who keeps track? 999 01:08:43,036 --> 01:08:45,829 Hey, I know this is the Bible belt, but where I come from... 1000 01:08:45,997 --> 01:08:48,081 ...this is not that big a deal. 1001 01:08:48,249 --> 01:08:50,042 - I mean... - You son of a bitch. 1002 01:08:51,210 --> 01:08:53,086 You're gonna fry. 1003 01:08:54,130 --> 01:08:58,717 Hey. Hey. Take it easy. Cut it out. What the hell are you doing? Take it easy. 1004 01:08:58,885 --> 01:09:01,053 - You okay? - What the hell is wrong with you? 1005 01:09:01,220 --> 01:09:02,262 - You all right? - Punk. 1006 01:09:02,430 --> 01:09:03,972 Jesus. 1007 01:09:24,911 --> 01:09:27,371 Your friend Tucker stopped by. 1008 01:09:27,914 --> 01:09:29,414 Really? 1009 01:09:30,249 --> 01:09:33,418 Okay. Hey. What does it look like today? 1010 01:09:33,586 --> 01:09:36,213 It's fine. A little crazy in the afternoon. 1011 01:09:37,799 --> 01:09:38,840 Hey, Tucker. 1012 01:09:40,093 --> 01:09:41,468 What's up. Doc? 1013 01:09:42,929 --> 01:09:45,681 You look different. Did you do something with your hair? 1014 01:09:46,349 --> 01:09:48,892 The teeth. The teeth. I got them capped. 1015 01:09:49,060 --> 01:09:51,311 Oh, yeah? Hey, they look great. 1016 01:09:51,479 --> 01:09:55,524 - You don't think they look a little big? - No, not at all. The bigger the better. 1017 01:09:55,983 --> 01:09:57,401 But they could be brighter. 1018 01:09:57,568 --> 01:10:02,823 There's nothing more sexy to me than a guy with a mouthful of big pearly whites. 1019 01:10:02,990 --> 01:10:04,032 - Really? - Yeah. 1020 01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:07,119 Come here. You ever had one up the hatch in here? 1021 01:10:07,286 --> 01:10:09,579 - Tucker. Behave yourself. - I'm sorry. 1022 01:10:12,417 --> 01:10:14,251 What can I do for you today. My friend? 1023 01:10:14,419 --> 01:10:18,296 I wanted to talk to you about your friend Patrick. 1024 01:10:18,464 --> 01:10:19,631 He's a nice guy. Huh? 1025 01:10:19,799 --> 01:10:23,343 Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out. How long have you known him? 1026 01:10:23,511 --> 01:10:25,595 Not very long, but I like him. 1027 01:10:26,139 --> 01:10:30,475 Well, I know he's a little different. but that's what I like about him. 1028 01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:33,103 He dresses like a complete dork. 1029 01:10:33,271 --> 01:10:35,647 He chews with his mouth open. 1030 01:10:35,815 --> 01:10:40,652 He hardly ever says the right thing, and he probably farts too. 1031 01:10:41,070 --> 01:10:44,489 That's what you're looking for, is it? A farter? 1032 01:10:44,866 --> 01:10:46,742 No, I'm looking for a guy. 1033 01:10:47,577 --> 01:10:52,080 Look. It's just that something struck me as strange about him last night. 1034 01:10:52,874 --> 01:10:54,583 He gave me this funny vibe. 1035 01:10:55,251 --> 01:10:57,502 Anyway, I called some friends up north... 1036 01:10:57,670 --> 01:11:01,006 ...and they've never heard of an architect named Patrick Healy. 1037 01:11:01,466 --> 01:11:03,759 And he's not listed as a Harvard alumnus. 1038 01:11:03,926 --> 01:11:05,469 - Fuck! - Really? 1039 01:11:06,679 --> 01:11:08,680 - That's strange. - Yes, I thought so. 1040 01:11:08,848 --> 01:11:12,142 Anyway, I hope you don't think I'm being meddlesome. 1041 01:11:12,310 --> 01:11:16,062 It's just that I think you should be careful with this guy. That's all. 1042 01:11:16,814 --> 01:11:17,981 I mean. Let's face it. 1043 01:11:18,149 --> 01:11:23,653 You're beautiful. And you've got money, and you trust people. 1044 01:11:24,113 --> 01:11:26,531 I'm just saying, there's a lot of psychos out there. 1045 01:11:26,699 --> 01:11:29,075 - Just be careful. - Fucker. 1046 01:11:29,243 --> 01:11:33,538 Look. Tucker, thank you. I really appreciate you looking out for me. 1047 01:11:34,707 --> 01:11:36,583 Okay. Listen. I'll call you. 1048 01:11:36,751 --> 01:11:39,211 - Okay. - Okay. 1049 01:11:43,549 --> 01:11:45,217 Damn. 1050 01:11:50,389 --> 01:11:55,393 - You want me to get those for you? - No. I have to learn to do this myself. 1051 01:11:59,816 --> 01:12:01,399 Damn. 1052 01:12:03,528 --> 01:12:06,571 My leg. Could you. Mary? 1053 01:12:07,949 --> 01:12:09,616 Thank you. 1054 01:12:10,451 --> 01:12:12,577 Wait. Wait. 1055 01:12:13,871 --> 01:12:15,247 There. 1056 01:12:23,714 --> 01:12:24,798 - See? - Yeah. 1057 01:12:24,966 --> 01:12:27,592 - I knew I could do it. - I see. Here, let me get the door. 1058 01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:29,094 Thank you. 1059 01:12:29,804 --> 01:12:31,012 - See you later. - Goodbye. 1060 01:12:31,180 --> 01:12:33,932 Jane. Can you get the door for Tucker, please? 1061 01:12:34,100 --> 01:12:36,226 Do you...? You want me to...? 1062 01:12:36,394 --> 01:12:39,437 - No. I've done this a thousand times. - Okay. 1063 01:12:46,362 --> 01:12:48,113 Mr. Stroehmann... 1064 01:12:48,281 --> 01:12:52,659 ...on behalf of the entire South Carolina Law Enforcement community... 1065 01:12:52,827 --> 01:12:57,747 ...l would like to apologize to you for any pain or temporary inconvenience... 1066 01:12:57,915 --> 01:12:59,916 ...that you may have been caused. 1067 01:13:03,963 --> 01:13:05,797 At approximately 10:40 this morning... 1068 01:13:05,965 --> 01:13:09,384 ...a man was apprehended not far from where you were arrested. 1069 01:13:09,552 --> 01:13:12,095 He was identified as an escaped mental patient... 1070 01:13:12,263 --> 01:13:15,515 ...and subsequently he confessed to the murder you're being held for. 1071 01:13:15,683 --> 01:13:18,393 Lab tests confirm a fingerprint match. 1072 01:13:18,561 --> 01:13:22,105 You mean I'm free to go? 1073 01:13:22,857 --> 01:13:24,941 No harm. No foul. 1074 01:13:26,986 --> 01:13:29,571 Oh, by the way, there's someone there to see you. 1075 01:13:33,910 --> 01:13:35,869 Shut up. 1076 01:13:44,086 --> 01:13:47,130 You are a lucky son of a bitch. you know that? 1077 01:13:47,298 --> 01:13:51,134 - I am? - Yeah. Didn't they tell you? 1078 01:13:51,302 --> 01:13:55,513 That hitcher was about to cut your throat before you decided to take a piss. 1079 01:13:55,681 --> 01:13:57,933 Had a fucking horseshoe up your ass, my man. 1080 01:14:02,688 --> 01:14:05,523 You got that nervous-hive thing again? 1081 01:14:05,900 --> 01:14:11,279 Yeah. Yeah. I do. Ted, because I got some bad news. 1082 01:14:12,406 --> 01:14:14,032 Are you okay? 1083 01:14:17,662 --> 01:14:18,787 Ted, I'm dying. 1084 01:14:23,542 --> 01:14:25,210 Oh, my... 1085 01:14:26,504 --> 01:14:30,507 Ted, I'm not dying, man. Come on. 1086 01:14:30,675 --> 01:14:33,843 Jesus. It's just the humidity down here or something. Come on. 1087 01:14:34,011 --> 01:14:37,931 No. No. Ted. The bad news I got is about our friend Healy. 1088 01:14:38,099 --> 01:14:40,725 I sent my assistant to his apartment with his last check. 1089 01:14:40,893 --> 01:14:42,727 The landlady said when he came back... 1090 01:14:42,895 --> 01:14:47,107 ...he kept talking about falling for some doctor named Mary. 1091 01:14:48,067 --> 01:14:50,652 - Mary? My Mary? - Well... 1092 01:14:51,821 --> 01:14:55,782 Ted, here's Healy's address down there. 1093 01:14:55,950 --> 01:15:00,078 In the future, do a little research before you send a guy like that out into the woods. 1094 01:15:00,246 --> 01:15:02,956 I mean. Jesus Chris, it's creepy. Okay? 1095 01:15:05,126 --> 01:15:07,836 You're not thinking about going out with this guy again? 1096 01:15:08,004 --> 01:15:10,005 Mary, honey. He's a psycho. 1097 01:15:10,172 --> 01:15:14,426 - Mary, the guy's full of shit. - Jesus. This sucks. 1098 01:15:14,593 --> 01:15:17,095 It's too bad this had to happen. 1099 01:15:17,847 --> 01:15:20,098 He was almost perfect. 1100 01:15:20,641 --> 01:15:23,309 Mary, what did you say Pat's last name was? 1101 01:15:23,477 --> 01:15:25,729 - Healy. - Come here. Come here, come here. 1102 01:15:25,896 --> 01:15:27,564 - Come on. You gotta hear this. - What? 1103 01:15:27,732 --> 01:15:31,276 - That's the way us Healys were raised. - So where the hell are you, Healy? 1104 01:15:31,444 --> 01:15:34,738 I got a date tonight with that Mary girl I told you about. 1105 01:15:34,905 --> 01:15:36,448 - The sawbones? - Yep. 1106 01:15:36,615 --> 01:15:38,950 - Oh. My God. We hit the mother lode. - You guys... 1107 01:15:39,118 --> 01:15:41,327 ...should we be listening to this? 1108 01:15:42,121 --> 01:15:45,248 - She still think you're a fucking architect? - Oh. Yeah. 1109 01:15:45,416 --> 01:15:47,042 Dumb shit. 1110 01:15:47,209 --> 01:15:48,418 Mr. Perfect. Huh? 1111 01:15:48,586 --> 01:15:52,380 Hey, watch your mouth. She's a great gal, Mary. 1112 01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:57,010 - I'm the dumb shit for lying to her. - Why didn't you just tell her the truth? 1113 01:15:57,636 --> 01:15:58,678 I don't know. 1114 01:15:58,846 --> 01:16:02,474 I guess it seems that women today are more impressed by the almighty buck... 1115 01:16:02,641 --> 01:16:07,312 ...than some schmo who's spent 17 years scraping by on Peace Corps wages. 1116 01:16:07,480 --> 01:16:08,521 Jesus. Man. 1117 01:16:08,689 --> 01:16:11,316 If she's as special as you say. she's gonna wanna hear... 1118 01:16:11,484 --> 01:16:12,817 ...about the things you did. 1119 01:16:12,985 --> 01:16:16,863 "You could tell her about the irrigation ditches you dug in Sudan. 1120 01:16:17,031 --> 01:16:20,325 The orphan babies who cried in your arms in... 1121 01:16:21,660 --> 01:16:23,036 ...Romania. 1122 01:16:23,204 --> 01:16:27,082 The hope you gave Freddy the leper in Calcutta." 1123 01:16:27,249 --> 01:16:29,834 I'll be honest with you. I'm a selfish prick. 1124 01:16:30,002 --> 01:16:33,546 I get a high from helping all God's creatures. 1125 01:16:34,757 --> 01:16:37,675 An honest-to-goodness high. I did all those things for myself. 1126 01:16:37,843 --> 01:16:39,677 Hey, hey, hey. 1127 01:16:44,517 --> 01:16:46,684 That's bullshit, man. 1128 01:16:46,852 --> 01:16:49,270 Hey. Hey, you were on the front line. 1129 01:16:50,189 --> 01:16:54,359 You remember? The malaria, the typhoon fever? 1130 01:16:54,527 --> 01:16:58,196 That vicious strain of genital herpes? 1131 01:16:59,532 --> 01:17:01,074 Fuck. 1132 01:17:03,452 --> 01:17:07,664 Yeah, I cured all sorts of horrible illnesses in Third World countries. 1133 01:17:07,832 --> 01:17:12,001 But the bottom line is, I'm not gonna use my philanthropy as some kind of currency. 1134 01:17:12,169 --> 01:17:14,003 Especially after what I did. 1135 01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:17,298 I lied to that poor girl. 1136 01:17:19,343 --> 01:17:20,677 Lied, man. 1137 01:17:20,845 --> 01:17:25,515 Well, love will make you do... 1138 01:17:26,725 --> 01:17:27,892 ...fucked-up things. 1139 01:17:28,102 --> 01:17:32,355 You said it, mister. I gotta run. 1140 01:17:33,482 --> 01:17:35,400 We're dicks. 1141 01:17:41,407 --> 01:17:43,658 Come here. Baby. Come here. Sweetheart. 1142 01:17:44,076 --> 01:17:47,328 I'll feed you and Bill soon. Come on. Honey. 1143 01:17:53,335 --> 01:17:55,044 It's him. It's him. 1144 01:17:55,212 --> 01:17:58,047 Oh, hi. Mary. 1145 01:17:58,757 --> 01:18:00,258 Hello. 1146 01:18:01,343 --> 01:18:03,136 Mary, look. 1147 01:18:04,889 --> 01:18:07,182 Look. There's something I have to tell you. 1148 01:18:07,349 --> 01:18:09,809 I'm not the architect you... 1149 01:18:17,109 --> 01:18:20,236 - Okay, guys, let's huddle up. - Come on, Jimmy. 1150 01:18:20,404 --> 01:18:22,280 Jimmy, I'm open. Hit me. Come on. 1151 01:18:33,751 --> 01:18:36,336 Exceptional, my ass. 1152 01:18:48,682 --> 01:18:53,603 Looks like I double-jumped you. Warren, for the win. Pay up, big guy. 1153 01:18:56,106 --> 01:18:58,650 - Coconut. - Yeah, very good. Coconut. 1154 01:18:58,817 --> 01:19:00,610 Coconut. 1155 01:19:01,278 --> 01:19:02,779 Where's the rest of it, Warren? 1156 01:19:14,750 --> 01:19:16,209 Look at her. 1157 01:19:17,002 --> 01:19:21,464 She's more beautiful than I remember. She's perfect. 1158 01:19:21,799 --> 01:19:25,260 Thanks for picking up the lunch tab, Mare. Sorry I forgot my wallet. 1159 01:19:25,427 --> 01:19:29,055 - I feel like a dog. - Don't worry about it. It was fun. 1160 01:19:35,562 --> 01:19:37,563 Fuck me. 1161 01:19:38,899 --> 01:19:41,150 How's my stomach taste? 1162 01:19:41,318 --> 01:19:43,486 "How's my stomach taste." she says. 1163 01:19:43,904 --> 01:19:46,406 Holy shit. Look. Look. There's Warren. 1164 01:19:46,573 --> 01:19:48,658 Franks and beans. 1165 01:19:49,076 --> 01:19:51,119 - Frank and beans. - Warren, you just ate. 1166 01:19:51,286 --> 01:19:54,247 Leave him alone. He's just got a big appetite. Right, Warren? 1167 01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:57,250 I said you got a big... 1168 01:19:59,211 --> 01:20:01,379 Warren. Warren. Warren. 1169 01:20:01,839 --> 01:20:03,506 Yes. 1170 01:20:03,674 --> 01:20:06,676 Listen, you can't touch his ears unless he trusts you. I'm sorry. 1171 01:20:06,844 --> 01:20:09,846 - Are you okay? - Not to worry. 1172 01:20:10,055 --> 01:20:13,349 - So I'll see you tonight. Right? - Sure. 1173 01:20:16,437 --> 01:20:18,396 Come here. Warren. You okay? 1174 01:20:18,564 --> 01:20:20,273 - He broke it. - I saw. 1175 01:20:21,400 --> 01:20:23,359 Okay. What are you waiting for? Let's go. 1176 01:20:23,527 --> 01:20:26,654 - What? No. I don't know what to say. - What are you talking about? 1177 01:20:26,822 --> 01:20:30,408 Tell her the truth about Healy. Blow the schmuck out of the water. 1178 01:20:30,576 --> 01:20:32,243 No, I can't. 1179 01:20:32,411 --> 01:20:36,122 I unleashed the psycho on her. She's gonna be fucking pissed. 1180 01:20:37,249 --> 01:20:40,918 - Mary. Mary. - No, no. Stop. 1181 01:20:42,546 --> 01:20:44,088 Mary? 1182 01:20:46,258 --> 01:20:50,178 Mary? Is that...? It is you. 1183 01:20:51,263 --> 01:20:55,058 - Who is that? - Hi. It's Ted. 1184 01:20:55,225 --> 01:20:56,601 Ted? 1185 01:20:56,769 --> 01:20:59,312 Yeah. Ted from Rhode Island. Ted. 1186 01:20:59,480 --> 01:21:02,523 Te...? Oh. My God. Ted. 1187 01:21:02,691 --> 01:21:05,276 - Hey. Good. How are you? - It's good to see you. 1188 01:21:05,444 --> 01:21:07,445 - Good to see you. - How you been? 1189 01:21:07,613 --> 01:21:09,280 I'm... 1190 01:21:09,448 --> 01:21:11,282 I haven't seen you since... 1191 01:21:11,450 --> 01:21:13,326 Yeah. Since... 1192 01:21:13,494 --> 01:21:17,413 - Senior prom. - That's right. Senior prom. 1193 01:21:17,581 --> 01:21:20,958 You got a great memory. Oh, man. That was... 1194 01:21:21,126 --> 01:21:23,461 Haven't thought about that in years. Yeah. 1195 01:21:23,629 --> 01:21:26,422 So how's everything? 1196 01:21:27,800 --> 01:21:30,468 - Everything. You know. - Oh. That's fine. 1197 01:21:30,636 --> 01:21:33,096 I was in and out of the hospital in a couple of weeks. 1198 01:21:33,263 --> 01:21:35,223 It was not a big deal at all. 1199 01:21:35,390 --> 01:21:39,143 Now I'm good. Strong like bull. Really good. 1200 01:21:39,311 --> 01:21:41,687 - Hey. Hi, Warren. - Hi, Ted. 1201 01:21:41,855 --> 01:21:45,066 - How are you? - I'm... How are you? 1202 01:21:45,818 --> 01:21:49,195 - I can't believe that he remembers you. - Piggyback ride? 1203 01:21:49,363 --> 01:21:52,698 Oh, piggyb... No. You know what? I'll take a rain check this time. Okay? 1204 01:21:52,866 --> 01:21:54,492 He never remembers anybody. 1205 01:21:54,660 --> 01:21:56,744 - It's amazing. - Yeah. 1206 01:21:56,912 --> 01:21:58,454 So. What are you doing here? 1207 01:21:58,622 --> 01:22:01,207 - Do you work here. Or...? - Yeah, no, this is my office. 1208 01:22:01,375 --> 01:22:02,667 Well, it's up there. 1209 01:22:03,502 --> 01:22:06,838 So yeah. I was just out on my lunch break with Warren. It's crazy. 1210 01:22:07,005 --> 01:22:09,632 - What are you doing here? - Well. That's a funny story. 1211 01:22:09,800 --> 01:22:12,135 I was... I decided to... 1212 01:22:12,302 --> 01:22:15,847 I got in the car with my friend. and we just... 1213 01:22:16,014 --> 01:22:19,684 We came down to Florida, right? 1214 01:22:22,563 --> 01:22:24,355 Right. 1215 01:22:25,190 --> 01:22:27,567 Well, you look great. You look really good. 1216 01:22:27,734 --> 01:22:30,528 I mean. What's the story? Are you married? Do you have kids? 1217 01:22:30,696 --> 01:22:33,364 - No. No. Dodged a few bullets. - Yeah? 1218 01:22:33,532 --> 01:22:37,577 Yeah. God. This is just so bizarre. 1219 01:22:37,744 --> 01:22:41,789 - I'm standing here with Mary Jensen. - No, no, now it's Mary Matthews. 1220 01:22:41,957 --> 01:22:43,124 Oh, did you...? 1221 01:22:43,292 --> 01:22:46,627 No, no, no. I haven't walked down that plank yet, no. 1222 01:22:46,795 --> 01:22:49,672 But it was this thing in college. 1223 01:22:49,840 --> 01:22:51,716 This creepy guy who... 1224 01:22:51,884 --> 01:22:54,802 Anyhow. There was a restraining order. It got kind of ugly... 1225 01:22:54,970 --> 01:22:58,389 ...and after Princeton. I decided, "You know what? Be cautious. 1226 01:22:58,557 --> 01:23:01,017 Change your name. Just kind of leave that behind." 1227 01:23:01,185 --> 01:23:03,144 - Right. Right. - Just didn't need that. 1228 01:23:03,312 --> 01:23:05,563 - That sounds horrible. - It was... Yeah. 1229 01:23:05,731 --> 01:23:08,900 It was. But it's over. I think. So it's good. 1230 01:23:09,067 --> 01:23:12,403 Hey, what are you doing tonight? Do you think you wanna, I don't know... 1231 01:23:12,571 --> 01:23:15,198 ...go out to dinner? You know, catch up on old times? 1232 01:23:15,991 --> 01:23:17,491 Didn't we just do that? 1233 01:23:21,205 --> 01:23:23,456 I'm fucking with you. Ted. 1234 01:23:26,919 --> 01:23:29,295 No, listen, I'd really... I'd like to. 1235 01:23:29,463 --> 01:23:32,924 It'd be great. but I sort of already have plans tonight. 1236 01:23:33,091 --> 01:23:36,177 - But I'm free tomorrow night. - Yeah, sure. Or, you know... 1237 01:23:36,345 --> 01:23:39,263 Or you could blow off that jerk you're going out with tonight... 1238 01:23:39,431 --> 01:23:40,681 ...and come out with me. 1239 01:23:44,186 --> 01:23:46,437 What hotel are you staying at? 1240 01:23:46,605 --> 01:23:48,231 The Cardozo. 1241 01:23:50,359 --> 01:23:51,943 - Pick you up at 8? - Sure. 1242 01:23:52,110 --> 01:23:53,236 - Okay. - Okay. 1243 01:23:53,403 --> 01:23:56,072 - Cool. See you. - Bye. 1244 01:23:56,406 --> 01:23:59,033 Look closely at this picture 1245 01:23:59,201 --> 01:24:01,577 Ted and Mary like before 1246 01:24:01,745 --> 01:24:04,038 Can you see her as Ted sees her 1247 01:24:04,206 --> 01:24:06,457 And why he couldn't wait no more? 1248 01:24:06,625 --> 01:24:12,088 And if you still think he's being silly Then you've still got more to see 1249 01:24:12,256 --> 01:24:16,425 Because this isn't just a date, folks This is chemistry 1250 01:24:16,593 --> 01:24:19,220 And Mary 1251 01:24:19,680 --> 01:24:23,975 Well, there's just something about Mary 1252 01:24:33,151 --> 01:24:35,236 Banana, banana. 1253 01:24:35,404 --> 01:24:38,823 We're gonna be buying bananas tonight. 1254 01:24:38,991 --> 01:24:40,658 Why's that? 1255 01:24:40,826 --> 01:24:47,290 Back when I was your age. I always used to make myself a big banana split after sex. 1256 01:24:47,457 --> 01:24:49,750 I think you're gonna need one tonight. 1257 01:24:49,918 --> 01:24:53,587 Don't get ahead of yourself. You'll be eating a banana split before I do. 1258 01:24:53,755 --> 01:24:55,673 Don't bet on it. 1259 01:24:56,717 --> 01:24:58,134 Last time I had a Pap smear... 1260 01:24:58,302 --> 01:25:02,013 ...the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker. 1261 01:25:05,017 --> 01:25:07,310 I am a little psyched. 1262 01:25:07,477 --> 01:25:11,439 I ran into this guy I haven't seen since high school. 1263 01:25:11,982 --> 01:25:16,360 - An old flame? - Kind of. Ted Stroehmann. 1264 01:25:16,528 --> 01:25:19,113 The sweetest guy in the world. 1265 01:25:19,281 --> 01:25:20,531 I mean. He was so cute. 1266 01:25:20,699 --> 01:25:25,286 He was so shy and clumsy, and he had this huge mouth full of metal. 1267 01:25:25,454 --> 01:25:27,747 You know how I like braces. 1268 01:25:27,956 --> 01:25:30,082 Anyhow. We're going out tonight. 1269 01:25:30,542 --> 01:25:32,126 Oh, no. 1270 01:25:32,294 --> 01:25:35,504 God, that reminds me. I have to call and cancel with what's-his-face. 1271 01:25:36,048 --> 01:25:37,089 What's-his-face? 1272 01:25:37,257 --> 01:25:39,842 Wait a minute. do I sense a chill in the air? 1273 01:25:40,010 --> 01:25:42,011 Oh, Magda. 1274 01:25:42,262 --> 01:25:44,972 I let my head get in the way of this one. 1275 01:25:45,140 --> 01:25:49,352 You know, I always pick guys from what I feel in here. 1276 01:25:49,519 --> 01:25:52,104 But for some reason with Pat, I kept saying to myself: 1277 01:25:52,272 --> 01:25:55,733 "Mary. Grow up. You have so much in common with this guy. 1278 01:25:55,901 --> 01:25:59,111 You'll learn to feel something for him." But... 1279 01:25:59,279 --> 01:26:00,988 ...it just didn't happen. 1280 01:26:05,118 --> 01:26:07,870 - Who is it? - It's Tucker. 1281 01:26:08,747 --> 01:26:10,623 - Tucker. - Hello. How are you? 1282 01:26:10,791 --> 01:26:12,917 - Good. How are you? - I'm fine, thank you. 1283 01:26:13,085 --> 01:26:16,170 - Look who's here. - There she is. 1284 01:26:16,338 --> 01:26:19,423 I brought you a little thirst quencher, Mag. 1285 01:26:19,591 --> 01:26:23,052 - Oh. Are you sweet. - No, I'm not. 1286 01:26:23,220 --> 01:26:25,429 I just wanna get you drunk so you'll pass out... 1287 01:26:25,597 --> 01:26:27,890 ...and I can give Mary a good rogering. 1288 01:26:28,892 --> 01:26:31,727 - You want me to pour you one? - Thanks, but I have to be going. 1289 01:26:31,895 --> 01:26:35,731 - Unfortunately. This is not a social visit. - Really? What's up? 1290 01:26:35,899 --> 01:26:39,402 Well, I've got a little more news about your friend Healy. 1291 01:26:39,569 --> 01:26:41,195 Tucker, everything's okay. 1292 01:26:41,363 --> 01:26:44,281 He confessed everything. He told me he's not an architect. 1293 01:26:44,449 --> 01:26:47,243 You were right. But right now. I'm actually running behind... 1294 01:26:47,411 --> 01:26:49,036 Mary, the man's a killer. 1295 01:26:50,080 --> 01:26:51,580 - What? - Yes. 1296 01:26:51,748 --> 01:26:53,958 I have a friend in the Boston Police Department. 1297 01:26:54,126 --> 01:26:58,087 He faxed me this this morning. I'll just give you the highlights. 1298 01:26:58,922 --> 01:27:00,965 After a short stint as a petty thief... 1299 01:27:01,133 --> 01:27:06,595 ...Patrick R. Healy graduated to armed robbery by the age of 14. 1300 01:27:06,763 --> 01:27:09,765 At 16, he committed his first murder. 1301 01:27:09,933 --> 01:27:13,185 A pretty teacher's aide named Molly Pettygrove. 1302 01:27:13,353 --> 01:27:17,857 He was incarcerated until the age of 22, when, despite a grim psychological profile... 1303 01:27:18,024 --> 01:27:20,192 ...the state was forced to release him. 1304 01:27:20,360 --> 01:27:22,778 In his mid-20s and again in his early 30s... 1305 01:27:22,946 --> 01:27:26,699 ...he was suspected of homicides in the states of Utah and Washington. 1306 01:27:26,867 --> 01:27:30,744 Unfortunately. the bodies were so badly decomposed... 1307 01:27:30,912 --> 01:27:35,166 ...there wasn't enough evidence to hold him. And so on and so forth. 1308 01:27:35,625 --> 01:27:38,919 What am I gonna do? I'm supposed to meet this guy in an hour. 1309 01:27:39,087 --> 01:27:43,757 Well, just calm down. Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry. 1310 01:27:43,925 --> 01:27:45,634 Tucker. 1311 01:27:46,511 --> 01:27:49,054 Why you two never hooked up is beyond me. 1312 01:27:50,015 --> 01:27:52,141 I'm so lucky to have you as a friend. 1313 01:27:53,268 --> 01:27:56,896 Yes. Well. Don't get all gooey on me. Now. You're gonna give me a big head. 1314 01:27:57,063 --> 01:27:58,981 See, the important thing, doctor... 1315 01:27:59,149 --> 01:28:01,817 ...is you have to distance yourself as much as possible... 1316 01:28:01,985 --> 01:28:03,694 ...without pissing this psycho off. 1317 01:28:05,614 --> 01:28:07,323 Okay. 1318 01:28:07,782 --> 01:28:11,827 All right. I know what I've gotta do. I know what I gotta do. Where's the phone? 1319 01:28:26,051 --> 01:28:28,177 You're gonna pay, fucker. 1320 01:28:46,154 --> 01:28:48,197 I don't know. Dom. 1321 01:28:48,740 --> 01:28:51,700 I don't feel good. I feel nervous. I really feel nervous. 1322 01:28:51,868 --> 01:28:53,744 Oh, come on. Relax. Relax. 1323 01:28:53,912 --> 01:28:55,913 - You been to the cash machine? - Yeah. 1324 01:28:56,081 --> 01:28:59,124 Car clean? Plenty of gas? 1325 01:28:59,918 --> 01:29:03,796 - Breath. How's your breath? - It's fine. I had some Altoids. 1326 01:29:03,964 --> 01:29:08,634 All right. I think you're all set. So just go clean the pipes and it's a go. 1327 01:29:09,761 --> 01:29:11,762 You know, clean the pipes. 1328 01:29:12,180 --> 01:29:14,390 What do you mean, clean the pipes? 1329 01:29:15,100 --> 01:29:18,936 You choke the chicken before any big date. Don't you? 1330 01:29:19,354 --> 01:29:23,774 Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date. 1331 01:29:24,609 --> 01:29:28,279 Oh, my God. He doesn't flog the dolphin before a big date. 1332 01:29:28,446 --> 01:29:30,030 - No. - Are you crazy? 1333 01:29:30,198 --> 01:29:32,491 That's like going out there with a loaded gun. 1334 01:29:32,659 --> 01:29:35,286 Of course that's why you're nervous. 1335 01:29:35,453 --> 01:29:38,956 Oh, my dear friend. Please sit. Please. 1336 01:29:39,124 --> 01:29:45,629 Look. After you've had sex with a girl and you're lying in bed with her... 1337 01:29:45,797 --> 01:29:47,172 ...are you nervous? 1338 01:29:47,340 --> 01:29:50,801 - No. - No, you're not. Why? 1339 01:29:50,969 --> 01:29:53,053 Because I'm tired. 1340 01:29:53,221 --> 01:29:57,099 Wrong. It's because you ain't got the baby batter on the brain any more. 1341 01:29:57,267 --> 01:30:00,644 Jesus. That stuff will fuck your head up. 1342 01:30:01,354 --> 01:30:02,688 Look. 1343 01:30:02,856 --> 01:30:06,317 The most honest moment in a man's life are the few minutes... 1344 01:30:06,484 --> 01:30:07,818 ...after he's blown his load. 1345 01:30:07,986 --> 01:30:13,198 That is a medical fact. And the reason for it is that you're no longer trying to get laid. 1346 01:30:13,366 --> 01:30:18,203 You're actually... You're thinking like a girl, and girls love that. 1347 01:30:18,705 --> 01:30:20,748 Holy shit. 1348 01:30:20,915 --> 01:30:23,334 I've been going out with a loaded gun. 1349 01:30:24,711 --> 01:30:26,170 People get hurt that way. 1350 01:31:00,038 --> 01:31:02,581 Healy. How smashing to see you. 1351 01:31:02,749 --> 01:31:05,125 - You're dead, motherfucker. - Okay. Take it easy. 1352 01:31:05,293 --> 01:31:08,671 Who the fuck do you think you are, making that shit up about me? 1353 01:31:09,464 --> 01:31:11,882 It's that stalker. Ted. 1354 01:31:12,217 --> 01:31:13,676 He got ahold of you. Didn't he? 1355 01:31:13,843 --> 01:31:16,220 You're working for him. Aren't you, you little shit? 1356 01:31:16,388 --> 01:31:17,721 Who? 1357 01:31:25,146 --> 01:31:28,023 Either you come clean, or I'm gonna kick your fucking ass. 1358 01:31:28,191 --> 01:31:30,609 I love her. Man. 1359 01:31:31,486 --> 01:31:35,197 - What? - You heard me. Goddamn it. 1360 01:31:37,701 --> 01:31:39,702 I love Mary. Man. 1361 01:31:42,288 --> 01:31:46,041 I'm a phony. Just like you. 1362 01:31:46,334 --> 01:31:51,255 - What do you mean? - I mean I'm a fucking fraud. 1363 01:31:51,423 --> 01:31:54,550 I'm no architect. Don't be a putz, man. 1364 01:31:55,635 --> 01:31:59,763 Who's been to Santiago, Chile. twice in one year? 1365 01:32:00,265 --> 01:32:05,018 - I've never even been to Jersey. - Okay, okay. Just take it easy. 1366 01:32:05,186 --> 01:32:07,730 Wait a minute. You knew those people back at Harvard. 1367 01:32:07,897 --> 01:32:10,023 Fuck. I knew shit, man. 1368 01:32:10,191 --> 01:32:13,360 The only thing I knew was that you were a fake... 1369 01:32:13,570 --> 01:32:15,404 ...and I made up everything else. 1370 01:32:16,531 --> 01:32:18,031 My real name's Norm. 1371 01:32:19,284 --> 01:32:21,285 I'm a pizza-delivery boy. 1372 01:32:21,453 --> 01:32:24,913 Here. Look. Here's my ID. 1373 01:32:33,256 --> 01:32:34,465 Fuck me. 1374 01:32:36,634 --> 01:32:39,261 Hey, boy. How about the pizza, huh? 1375 01:32:41,681 --> 01:32:43,515 Yeah? Well. Fuck you. 1376 01:32:44,893 --> 01:32:46,018 Calm down. Honey. 1377 01:32:46,186 --> 01:32:48,687 Hey, you want your pizza? Here. Man. 1378 01:32:54,194 --> 01:32:55,986 Excuse my friend. 1379 01:32:56,154 --> 01:32:58,363 He's had a little too much to drink. 1380 01:33:08,166 --> 01:33:10,584 Yeah. Yeah. 1381 01:33:18,426 --> 01:33:20,385 Keep the change. 1382 01:34:17,443 --> 01:34:20,904 Where the hell did it go? 1383 01:34:23,616 --> 01:34:26,410 Hang on. Wait a second. 1384 01:34:43,011 --> 01:34:46,013 - Hello. How you doing? - Hey. Hi. Good. How are you? 1385 01:34:46,180 --> 01:34:47,514 - Good. - Good. 1386 01:34:47,682 --> 01:34:50,517 You are looking very beautiful. 1387 01:34:50,685 --> 01:34:52,352 Thank you. 1388 01:34:53,146 --> 01:34:54,313 What is that? 1389 01:34:57,442 --> 01:34:58,650 On your ear. 1390 01:34:59,402 --> 01:35:02,529 - Ear? - No, your left ear. 1391 01:35:02,989 --> 01:35:04,656 Is that...? 1392 01:35:06,701 --> 01:35:07,826 Is that hair gel? 1393 01:35:10,705 --> 01:35:12,831 - Yeah. - Great. I could use some. 1394 01:35:12,999 --> 01:35:15,584 - No, no, no. You don't have to. You don't... - No, really. 1395 01:35:15,752 --> 01:35:17,419 I just ran out. 1396 01:35:21,424 --> 01:35:23,216 - How we doing over here? - Okay. 1397 01:35:23,384 --> 01:35:25,093 - Little more wine? - Sure. 1398 01:35:26,387 --> 01:35:29,806 So when you say killer. You mean... 1399 01:35:29,974 --> 01:35:33,435 - He's a murderer. Yeah. - Like, an actual convicted murderer? 1400 01:35:33,603 --> 01:35:36,021 He killed people. I know. It's crazy. 1401 01:35:36,189 --> 01:35:39,107 - And. What. Did he ever go to jail. Or he's...? - Yeah, in Boston. 1402 01:35:39,275 --> 01:35:41,443 - He spent... I don't know how long. - He got out? 1403 01:35:41,611 --> 01:35:43,403 Well, it's obvious. The system sucks. 1404 01:35:43,571 --> 01:35:45,947 The guy's walking the streets. I'm kissing him. 1405 01:35:46,157 --> 01:35:50,035 Right, but you didn't do anything else, right? 1406 01:35:50,203 --> 01:35:52,537 - What? - I mean. You didn't... 1407 01:35:55,375 --> 01:35:57,125 - No, no, no. - No, okay. 1408 01:35:57,293 --> 01:35:59,544 - God, I couldn't live with myself. - No, I mean... 1409 01:35:59,712 --> 01:36:03,674 I only went out with him a couple times. but, you know, just the thought of that... 1410 01:36:06,135 --> 01:36:09,012 I shouldn't be putting this all on you. I'm sorry. 1411 01:36:09,180 --> 01:36:14,393 - We haven't seen each other in so long. - No, it's just I feel really bad. 1412 01:36:14,560 --> 01:36:17,479 I'm tired of talking about stalkers. Let's talk about you. 1413 01:36:19,565 --> 01:36:21,817 Are you okay? Yeah? 1414 01:36:21,984 --> 01:36:24,236 - Do you want some water? - No, I'm good. 1415 01:36:24,612 --> 01:36:28,198 So then in '94, I went back to Dade Community College for a semester. 1416 01:36:28,366 --> 01:36:33,328 And when the Wal-Mart cashier job fell through, I hooked up with Peking Pizza. 1417 01:36:33,496 --> 01:36:37,374 Hey, Cat, how about a couple of brews over here, man? 1418 01:36:38,501 --> 01:36:40,919 Hey, get the fuck out of here. 1419 01:36:41,087 --> 01:36:44,047 I told you 20 times you're not welcome here anymore. 1420 01:36:44,215 --> 01:36:46,800 Hey, hey, hey. You. where's that coming from? 1421 01:36:46,968 --> 01:36:50,178 It's coming from you always skipping out on your tab. 1422 01:36:50,680 --> 01:36:52,389 Hey, I got cash. 1423 01:36:54,100 --> 01:36:56,017 Okay. Norm. 1424 01:36:56,310 --> 01:37:00,188 You pay. I'll pour. In that order. 1425 01:37:01,649 --> 01:37:04,276 - Hey, Tracy, how are the twins? - Fuck you, Norm. 1426 01:37:04,444 --> 01:37:07,571 That's it, I like it when you talk dirty to me. Man. 1427 01:37:08,573 --> 01:37:09,781 Here you go, big guy. 1428 01:37:10,658 --> 01:37:12,826 Come on. Cough it up. Chompers. 1429 01:37:16,372 --> 01:37:18,039 Thanks. 1430 01:37:20,001 --> 01:37:22,544 So how the hell did you meet Mary? 1431 01:37:23,546 --> 01:37:25,005 It was just dumb luck, really. 1432 01:37:25,173 --> 01:37:28,675 I delivered a pie to her and she answered the door in her nightgown... 1433 01:37:28,843 --> 01:37:32,220 ...and, wow. That was it for me. 1434 01:37:32,388 --> 01:37:35,223 I went home that night, shaved my beard. And a week later... 1435 01:37:35,391 --> 01:37:38,059 ...I'm laid out in her office with a broken back. 1436 01:37:38,227 --> 01:37:40,937 Broken back? How'd you do that? 1437 01:37:41,105 --> 01:37:43,899 A friend. Baseball bat. 1438 01:37:44,317 --> 01:37:46,067 Touché. 1439 01:37:49,155 --> 01:37:50,947 You want another one? 1440 01:37:51,908 --> 01:37:55,035 Sure. Yeah. Hey, Docky. 1441 01:37:55,203 --> 01:37:58,580 - Couple more nitrate-sicles. Please. - Two corn dogs coming up. 1442 01:37:58,748 --> 01:38:02,125 You know, I don't think that they have enough meats on sticks. 1443 01:38:02,293 --> 01:38:05,295 No, seriously. If you think about it. they have plenty of sweets. 1444 01:38:05,463 --> 01:38:08,924 They have lollipops. they have Fudgsicles. They have Popsicles... 1445 01:38:09,091 --> 01:38:11,259 ...but they don't have any other meat on sticks. 1446 01:38:11,427 --> 01:38:14,471 - Yes, you don't see many meats on sticks. - Absolutely not. 1447 01:38:14,639 --> 01:38:18,767 You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see more meats in a cone. 1448 01:38:18,935 --> 01:38:23,688 You don't hardly ever see that. You know. that's an idea I think is waiting to pop. 1449 01:38:23,856 --> 01:38:27,442 Just like a nice. You know. Nice. Big, oversize waffle-cone... 1450 01:38:27,610 --> 01:38:29,986 ...stuffed full of chopped liver. - Chopped liver. 1451 01:38:30,154 --> 01:38:31,321 Exactly. 1452 01:38:32,698 --> 01:38:34,574 - Too bad you don't live here, Ted. - Yeah? 1453 01:38:34,742 --> 01:38:37,327 Yeah. We have a lot in common. 1454 01:38:39,455 --> 01:38:41,414 Well, you know, maybe... 1455 01:38:41,582 --> 01:38:45,293 Have you ever thought about maybe moving back up to Rhode Island? 1456 01:38:45,461 --> 01:38:49,422 I thought about it, but I got too much of a good thing going on here. 1457 01:38:49,590 --> 01:38:54,511 I got a great practice. I like the people I work with. And Warren. 1458 01:38:55,012 --> 01:38:58,557 You know, maybe you should just. Like, move down here and marry me. 1459 01:39:03,563 --> 01:39:07,566 - So you're a writer. - Yeah, well, I'm trying to be. 1460 01:39:08,526 --> 01:39:11,611 Well, the good thing about writing is you can do it anywhere. 1461 01:39:11,779 --> 01:39:13,321 That's true. 1462 01:39:15,324 --> 01:39:19,995 How about you? How did you manage to stay single all these years? 1463 01:39:20,997 --> 01:39:27,502 Well, I'm bisexual. So that's hard for a lot of guys to understand. 1464 01:39:29,005 --> 01:39:30,714 - Well... - You gonna smoke that? 1465 01:39:33,885 --> 01:39:37,012 You know, I read somewhere that most women... 1466 01:39:37,179 --> 01:39:40,932 ...if you really ask them honestly, have tendencies towards... 1467 01:39:41,100 --> 01:39:45,228 - I mean. Everybody has a bit of... - Ted, I'm fucking with you. 1468 01:39:45,980 --> 01:39:47,564 Yeah. 1469 01:39:49,191 --> 01:39:51,902 Stalking motherfucker. 1470 01:39:52,069 --> 01:39:55,906 I know. It sickens me. 1471 01:39:56,073 --> 01:39:59,701 Actually. I did almost get married once. 1472 01:40:01,954 --> 01:40:03,663 What happened? 1473 01:40:04,540 --> 01:40:06,917 Well, he was a really great guy. 1474 01:40:07,209 --> 01:40:09,210 He lived up north, and... 1475 01:40:10,046 --> 01:40:11,838 Come on. Let's go. 1476 01:40:16,552 --> 01:40:18,178 Here you go. 1477 01:40:34,946 --> 01:40:38,031 Wait. How many is this? 1478 01:40:39,200 --> 01:40:41,076 - Four. - Four? 1479 01:40:41,243 --> 01:40:44,496 That seems like an awful lot of speed to give one little pooch. 1480 01:40:44,664 --> 01:40:48,416 - Are you sure it won't kill him? - I never said that. 1481 01:40:51,337 --> 01:40:53,421 Baby. 1482 01:40:59,095 --> 01:41:00,762 Good. Good. Good. 1483 01:41:01,347 --> 01:41:06,768 And so then it was over. We really haven't spoken since. 1484 01:41:07,186 --> 01:41:10,063 Wow. Sounds like he was almost perfect. 1485 01:41:11,524 --> 01:41:13,316 Almost. 1486 01:41:15,528 --> 01:41:18,279 Hey, you wanna go upstairs and watch Sports Center? 1487 01:41:20,533 --> 01:41:23,535 You know, I think I'm just gonna quit while I'm ahead. 1488 01:41:23,703 --> 01:41:26,037 You're not that far ahead, Ted. 1489 01:41:33,254 --> 01:41:35,171 Magda. 1490 01:41:35,965 --> 01:41:37,298 What are you doing? 1491 01:41:37,466 --> 01:41:39,968 Hi. Hon. Just straightening up. 1492 01:41:44,890 --> 01:41:46,099 Put that down. 1493 01:41:48,602 --> 01:41:50,395 Magda. 1494 01:41:50,980 --> 01:41:52,647 Thanks, doll. 1495 01:41:54,984 --> 01:41:57,152 Magda. Magda. 1496 01:41:57,319 --> 01:41:59,988 Honey, where is Puffy? 1497 01:42:00,156 --> 01:42:02,323 He was being a pest. I put him in the bathroom. 1498 01:42:02,491 --> 01:42:03,992 Really? 1499 01:42:05,411 --> 01:42:07,037 Ted? 1500 01:42:07,747 --> 01:42:10,707 Can you do me a favor? Would you mind letting the dog out? 1501 01:42:10,875 --> 01:42:13,418 I think I should have a talk with Magda here. 1502 01:42:13,586 --> 01:42:15,253 Sure. Yeah. 1503 01:42:18,049 --> 01:42:19,257 - Over here. - Where? 1504 01:42:19,425 --> 01:42:21,634 - Here. Fine. - Good. What's going on? 1505 01:42:22,261 --> 01:42:23,887 More cleaning. 1506 01:42:24,180 --> 01:42:26,514 - How much coffee did you have tonight? - None. 1507 01:42:29,727 --> 01:42:31,352 Mary? 1508 01:42:32,354 --> 01:42:34,564 What kind of dog is Puffy? 1509 01:42:34,732 --> 01:42:38,818 - Border terrier. - Border terrier. Like Benji. 1510 01:42:48,287 --> 01:42:52,040 Hey. 1511 01:42:52,208 --> 01:42:55,835 Are you the little guy making all that big noise? 1512 01:43:02,051 --> 01:43:03,093 Oh, Ted! 1513 01:43:13,646 --> 01:43:14,687 Puffy. Stop it! 1514 01:43:17,733 --> 01:43:19,400 Take a little bit of this. 1515 01:43:21,779 --> 01:43:23,613 Puffy. Puffy. 1516 01:43:30,454 --> 01:43:31,496 Puffy! 1517 01:43:47,388 --> 01:43:49,180 That's all you got. Pal? 1518 01:43:53,978 --> 01:43:59,607 Ted. 1519 01:44:05,573 --> 01:44:07,657 No, no, no. 1520 01:44:30,890 --> 01:44:32,432 Puffy! 1521 01:44:33,475 --> 01:44:36,769 Puffy! Puffy! Puffy! 1522 01:44:42,484 --> 01:44:44,611 How do you know that I'm right? 1523 01:44:44,778 --> 01:44:48,406 Well, you know. No, I don't. 1524 01:44:48,574 --> 01:44:51,284 - You want a grape? - A grape? Sure. 1525 01:44:52,578 --> 01:44:54,412 - Ready? - Yeah. 1526 01:44:55,039 --> 01:44:58,416 All net. All net. We make a good team. 1527 01:45:28,405 --> 01:45:29,989 Hey. Come on. Want a go? 1528 01:45:30,157 --> 01:45:32,075 - Closer? - Don't be afraid. It's all right. 1529 01:45:32,242 --> 01:45:36,120 Get in closer. That's good. Don't be afraid. Get right in there. A little bit more. 1530 01:45:36,288 --> 01:45:39,749 Good. He'll be fine. Mary, you're being overprotective. 1531 01:46:12,992 --> 01:46:15,076 No, no, no. We already... We got... 1532 01:46:24,461 --> 01:46:26,212 Come on. Come on. 1533 01:46:30,509 --> 01:46:32,844 Warren. Warren. 1534 01:46:33,012 --> 01:46:35,471 - Warren. - Warren. 1535 01:46:37,725 --> 01:46:39,684 Warren. 1536 01:46:42,187 --> 01:46:45,690 - Warren. - Warren, come here. Stop. 1537 01:46:48,193 --> 01:46:50,528 I'm okay. I'm okay. 1538 01:46:50,696 --> 01:46:53,281 Hey. Hey. 1539 01:46:54,158 --> 01:46:57,535 - It's his fault. He hit me with that stuff. - Here, let me help with that. 1540 01:46:57,703 --> 01:46:59,662 Warren! Warren! 1541 01:47:24,438 --> 01:47:27,899 I didn't do it. He got in the way. 1542 01:47:28,067 --> 01:47:30,693 I know. I know, I know. Does anybody have any pliers? 1543 01:47:30,861 --> 01:47:34,530 Needle-nose. Otherwise? Anything? 1544 01:47:43,415 --> 01:47:44,999 Hey. 1545 01:47:45,667 --> 01:47:50,880 Flowers are for you. Ball is for Warren. Had a friend FedEx it from Boston. 1546 01:47:51,048 --> 01:47:53,925 Signed by Tony Conigliaro. 1547 01:47:54,093 --> 01:47:57,762 Did you hire Pat Healy to spy on me? 1548 01:47:59,932 --> 01:48:01,432 What? 1549 01:48:02,684 --> 01:48:04,769 What are you talking about? 1550 01:48:05,354 --> 01:48:07,814 I got an anonymous letter. 1551 01:48:09,149 --> 01:48:10,775 It's not true. Right, Ted? 1552 01:48:15,114 --> 01:48:20,118 Well, it's an interesting thing that happened. I... 1553 01:48:21,453 --> 01:48:23,621 Yeah. It's true, but it's not... 1554 01:48:23,789 --> 01:48:26,541 Okay. Get out. 1555 01:48:27,126 --> 01:48:30,044 Mary, wait. First of all. I didn't know that this guy was... 1556 01:48:30,212 --> 01:48:31,963 What. That he was a murderer? 1557 01:48:32,131 --> 01:48:34,507 That. Yeah. In addition to many other things. 1558 01:48:34,675 --> 01:48:37,635 I mean. I didn't know anything about the guy. I hardly know him. 1559 01:48:37,803 --> 01:48:39,220 How could you do that, Ted? 1560 01:48:39,388 --> 01:48:43,975 How could you have some guy you don't even know spy on me? 1561 01:48:44,476 --> 01:48:46,769 What were you trying to do? 1562 01:48:48,147 --> 01:48:51,315 Trick me into feeling something for you? 1563 01:48:54,236 --> 01:48:56,445 No. I didn't... 1564 01:48:56,655 --> 01:48:58,322 I didn't wanna trick you. 1565 01:49:00,159 --> 01:49:02,994 Just leave. Okay? 1566 01:49:04,413 --> 01:49:05,454 Mary. 1567 01:49:06,498 --> 01:49:08,082 Go. 1568 01:49:18,385 --> 01:49:22,054 I did it because I never stopped thinking about you. 1569 01:49:22,890 --> 01:49:26,976 And if I didn't find you, I knew that my life would never. Ever be good again. 1570 01:50:11,188 --> 01:50:12,563 Hey. 1571 01:50:12,773 --> 01:50:15,524 Healy. You in there? 1572 01:50:20,864 --> 01:50:22,406 Hello? 1573 01:50:37,923 --> 01:50:42,760 And it was going along just fine until you showed up. 1574 01:50:44,846 --> 01:50:47,515 Holy shit. 1575 01:50:47,808 --> 01:50:50,726 This is a pretty nice place. 1576 01:50:51,478 --> 01:50:54,272 Sully. What the fuck happened? 1577 01:50:54,439 --> 01:50:57,733 - Hey, surprise. - Hey, peace. Man. Come on. 1578 01:50:57,901 --> 01:50:59,819 - You fucked me, man. - Wait. Come on. 1579 01:50:59,987 --> 01:51:04,323 - Man. Don't do anything rash now, buddy. - Who the fuck is this guy? 1580 01:51:05,826 --> 01:51:09,620 That's Norm. He's a pizza boy. He's in love with Mary too. 1581 01:51:10,289 --> 01:51:11,497 Look. Come on, man. 1582 01:51:11,915 --> 01:51:15,751 All right. Look. I think everybody could use a drink right now. 1583 01:51:15,919 --> 01:51:17,253 I don't want a drink. 1584 01:51:17,713 --> 01:51:20,715 - Fuck you. - Hey, hey. Hey. Look. 1585 01:51:21,216 --> 01:51:23,884 You asked me to follow around your girl and I did. 1586 01:51:24,720 --> 01:51:29,056 And then the truth is. I started to like her. 1587 01:51:30,183 --> 01:51:33,853 And that's when I realized I couldn't in good conscience bring myself to do it. 1588 01:51:35,314 --> 01:51:36,355 Do what? 1589 01:51:37,357 --> 01:51:39,900 Turn her over to a violent stalker. 1590 01:51:40,068 --> 01:51:43,112 Oh, I'm a stalker? You're calling me a violent stalker? 1591 01:51:43,280 --> 01:51:46,240 - Oh. Yeah. Sure. - I'm a...? 1592 01:51:48,744 --> 01:51:50,745 Oh, my God. 1593 01:51:53,081 --> 01:51:54,582 That poor dog. 1594 01:51:55,917 --> 01:51:57,376 - Hey, fuck you. - Fuck you. 1595 01:51:57,544 --> 01:51:59,795 You just can't take the fact that it was my turn. 1596 01:51:59,963 --> 01:52:02,965 - Your turn? - Yeah, that's right. My turn. 1597 01:52:03,717 --> 01:52:06,427 Why can't I ever get a girl like Mary? 1598 01:52:07,012 --> 01:52:10,806 Just because you didn't get her. You didn't have to blow us both out of the water. 1599 01:52:11,308 --> 01:52:12,767 What are you talking about? 1600 01:52:13,226 --> 01:52:16,145 You're gonna tell me you didn't write her an anonymous letter... 1601 01:52:16,313 --> 01:52:18,481 ...telling her about our whole deal together? 1602 01:52:19,274 --> 01:52:20,316 What letter? 1603 01:52:21,818 --> 01:52:23,444 Come on. 1604 01:52:25,113 --> 01:52:26,113 It was you. 1605 01:52:29,493 --> 01:52:31,619 You sent the letter. 1606 01:52:31,870 --> 01:52:33,579 It was you. 1607 01:52:33,914 --> 01:52:37,792 We had a deal. You said you wouldn't fuck me and I wouldn't fuck you... 1608 01:52:37,959 --> 01:52:41,462 ...until we got this fuck out of the fucking picture. 1609 01:52:41,630 --> 01:52:44,423 - You crossed the line, man. - Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Man. 1610 01:52:44,591 --> 01:52:48,135 You're getting crazy now. Why would I cross the line? 1611 01:52:49,137 --> 01:52:51,514 You probably did it yourself. you piece of shit. 1612 01:52:51,681 --> 01:52:55,226 Oh, yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Why would I rat myself out? 1613 01:52:55,394 --> 01:52:57,395 Like I'm gonna try to figure out some guy... 1614 01:52:57,562 --> 01:53:01,065 ...whose idea of courting is blowing farts in her face. 1615 01:53:01,233 --> 01:53:06,779 - You were following us. - Don't flatter yourself. I was following her. 1616 01:53:08,365 --> 01:53:10,491 I always do. 1617 01:53:10,909 --> 01:53:14,495 How the hell do you think I got rid of the last guy. Brett? 1618 01:53:15,163 --> 01:53:20,584 Wait. Brett? Are you saying that Brett didn't say those things about Warren? 1619 01:53:21,753 --> 01:53:25,673 Are you shitting me? Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes? 1620 01:53:25,841 --> 01:53:28,342 He was like an Eagle Scout. 1621 01:53:28,552 --> 01:53:32,596 Wait a minute. You two should be kissing my fucking hairy beanbag. You know? 1622 01:53:32,764 --> 01:53:35,891 Because if it wasn't for me, she might have married that schmuck. 1623 01:53:38,353 --> 01:53:40,187 I feel sick. 1624 01:53:40,647 --> 01:53:42,648 Both of you are just... 1625 01:53:43,775 --> 01:53:45,568 I'm out of here. 1626 01:53:46,528 --> 01:53:48,237 Yeah. 1627 01:53:49,614 --> 01:53:53,868 You know, if it wasn't you who sent the letter and I never sent it... 1628 01:53:54,286 --> 01:53:56,078 ...who sent it? 1629 01:54:00,375 --> 01:54:01,959 Oh, hey. Hal. 1630 01:54:02,127 --> 01:54:05,796 I was worried about you. I thought that... 1631 01:54:07,883 --> 01:54:09,884 Oh, Sully. 1632 01:54:23,398 --> 01:54:24,982 Oh, my... 1633 01:54:25,609 --> 01:54:26,650 Woogie? 1634 01:54:27,444 --> 01:54:29,445 Who the hell is Woogie? 1635 01:54:32,532 --> 01:54:34,158 Hello. 1636 01:54:36,036 --> 01:54:37,536 What are you doing here? 1637 01:54:38,788 --> 01:54:42,041 Did you get my letter. Mare? The one about Ted? 1638 01:54:44,127 --> 01:54:45,169 You sent that? 1639 01:54:48,423 --> 01:54:51,550 I was worried about you. 1640 01:54:51,718 --> 01:54:55,763 Woogie. You know you're not supposed to be within 400 yards of me. 1641 01:54:55,931 --> 01:54:58,766 Yeah. I know. I do. In fact, you know... 1642 01:54:58,934 --> 01:55:01,602 ...that's what I really wanted to talk to you about. 1643 01:55:01,770 --> 01:55:07,900 You know that I have actually been through nine years of intensive psychotherapy. 1644 01:55:08,068 --> 01:55:12,071 And you know something? You were absolutely right. I needed help. 1645 01:55:12,822 --> 01:55:17,409 That's great. Woogie. I mean. I'm glad you're doing better. 1646 01:55:17,577 --> 01:55:19,161 You look... 1647 01:55:19,913 --> 01:55:22,122 - You look good. - Thank you. 1648 01:55:22,582 --> 01:55:25,543 Except for the rash thing's still there, right? 1649 01:55:25,710 --> 01:55:30,297 Yes. You noticed, huh? These are called love blisters. 1650 01:55:30,465 --> 01:55:35,886 They went away for a little while, but then you came back in my life. Milady. 1651 01:55:37,305 --> 01:55:42,226 Woogie. I did not come back into your life. Okay? 1652 01:55:42,394 --> 01:55:45,229 I don't even know how you found me. Let's not forget. Here. 1653 01:55:45,397 --> 01:55:48,232 You put me through a lot of bullshit, okay? 1654 01:55:48,400 --> 01:55:52,820 I had to change my name, I had to go to court. I moved. 1655 01:55:52,988 --> 01:55:55,072 I mean. You stole all of my shoes. 1656 01:55:56,157 --> 01:55:58,993 What? What are you talking about? 1657 01:55:59,160 --> 01:56:01,412 Woogie. I caught you red-handed. 1658 01:56:02,747 --> 01:56:05,416 I was in a weird place then. Mary. 1659 01:56:06,084 --> 01:56:10,045 Come on. Okay? Come on. 1660 01:56:10,213 --> 01:56:14,300 Give me a break here, okay? I was a little nuts. A little... 1661 01:56:14,467 --> 01:56:16,552 But I'm fine. 1662 01:56:16,720 --> 01:56:20,681 Woogie. You're starting to make me a little nervous. 1663 01:56:21,850 --> 01:56:24,351 I'm making you feel nervous? Nervous? What's that? 1664 01:56:24,519 --> 01:56:27,605 I wouldn't know anything about nervous. Jeez. 1665 01:56:27,772 --> 01:56:31,233 You ever had a whitehead on your eyeball, Mary? 1666 01:56:31,401 --> 01:56:34,194 Woogie. I'm asking you to leave. 1667 01:56:34,362 --> 01:56:38,616 Oh, Mary. Oh, Mary, you got this all wrong. 1668 01:56:38,783 --> 01:56:40,743 I'm not going anywhere. 1669 01:56:42,203 --> 01:56:45,039 Not until I get something to remember you by. 1670 01:56:47,208 --> 01:56:49,585 Get your hands out of there. 1671 01:56:50,420 --> 01:56:52,212 - No. Woogie. - Yeah. 1672 01:56:52,380 --> 01:56:53,672 Let go. 1673 01:56:54,424 --> 01:56:56,008 Stop it. Stop! 1674 01:56:56,176 --> 01:57:00,512 Just one pair. You owe me that. you heartless bitch. 1675 01:57:01,139 --> 01:57:04,183 What the...? Hey. 1676 01:57:09,147 --> 01:57:12,524 Dom? You're pathetic. 1677 01:57:12,984 --> 01:57:16,862 Tucker. What happened to your crutches? 1678 01:57:17,447 --> 01:57:19,239 Yeah. Well... 1679 01:57:19,407 --> 01:57:21,700 Yes. Very good query, Mary. Well done. 1680 01:57:21,868 --> 01:57:24,328 Come on. Tell her the truth. Pizza boy. 1681 01:57:28,291 --> 01:57:30,250 Name's Norm. 1682 01:57:30,418 --> 01:57:34,129 I live with my folks up in Pompano. Hey. 1683 01:57:35,757 --> 01:57:39,635 Oh, man. This is like group therapy or something. 1684 01:57:39,803 --> 01:57:41,595 Dom. What are you doing here? 1685 01:57:42,138 --> 01:57:45,849 You stole her from me. and now I want her back. 1686 01:57:46,017 --> 01:57:48,560 I stole her from you? What are you talking about? 1687 01:57:49,646 --> 01:57:52,731 Woogie. How many times did I tell you this at Princeton? 1688 01:57:53,316 --> 01:57:56,402 - Woogie? - Ted and I had one date. 1689 01:57:56,569 --> 01:57:59,154 - You and I were already broken up. - You're Woogie? 1690 01:58:00,115 --> 01:58:02,324 Dom Woganowski. 1691 01:58:03,993 --> 01:58:08,497 But you're married. You have a wife, beautiful kids. 1692 01:58:08,665 --> 01:58:11,458 Ted, if you love them so much. please, be my guest. 1693 01:58:11,626 --> 01:58:16,630 All right. What the hell is going on here? Can someone explain it to me? 1694 01:58:17,090 --> 01:58:20,759 Look. We're all in love with Mary. 1695 01:58:21,928 --> 01:58:23,303 Oh, God. 1696 01:58:23,930 --> 01:58:27,182 If I may, I have a proposal. 1697 01:58:27,684 --> 01:58:30,644 I say none of us leaves this room... 1698 01:58:30,812 --> 01:58:34,022 ...until our young Mary here stops jerking us around... 1699 01:58:34,190 --> 01:58:38,110 ...and decides. Once and for all, who she really wants. 1700 01:58:40,363 --> 01:58:43,240 Now. Mary. I know this is tough... 1701 01:58:43,908 --> 01:58:49,037 ...but you really will be doing them all a great favor to tell them the truth about us. 1702 01:58:49,205 --> 01:58:52,583 Are you crazy? What makes you think I would pick you anyhow? 1703 01:58:52,751 --> 01:58:54,918 I mean. You're a murderer. 1704 01:58:57,380 --> 01:59:02,843 Well, I may have been blowing a little smoke up your ass there, Mary. 1705 01:59:03,011 --> 01:59:04,595 I'm sorry. 1706 01:59:07,557 --> 01:59:10,809 - Touchdown. - Hi, Mary. 1707 01:59:11,561 --> 01:59:14,855 - Brett? - What the hell is Brett Favre doing here? 1708 01:59:15,023 --> 01:59:17,232 I'm in town to play the Dolphins, you dumb-ass. 1709 01:59:17,400 --> 01:59:21,236 Yeah. I called him. Mary. I told him to pick up Warren and get down here. 1710 01:59:21,404 --> 01:59:25,532 See, your friend Tucker was lying about a couple of other things. 1711 01:59:25,700 --> 01:59:27,868 Brett never said those bad things about Warren. 1712 01:59:28,036 --> 01:59:29,745 He loves Warren. 1713 01:59:29,913 --> 01:59:34,374 And from what he told me on the phone just now. He loves you too. 1714 01:59:34,542 --> 01:59:36,794 He's the guy you should be with. 1715 01:59:40,924 --> 01:59:44,635 That's right. Mary. You know I'll always be true to you. 1716 01:59:44,969 --> 01:59:48,096 Shit. This isn't fair. Jesus. 1717 01:59:48,264 --> 01:59:50,390 You know, I feel like an idiot. 1718 01:59:50,934 --> 01:59:56,063 See, I realized something today. I'm no better than any of these guys. 1719 01:59:56,564 --> 01:59:59,942 I mean. None of them love you. Really. 1720 02:00:01,069 --> 02:00:05,447 They're just fixated on you because of how you make them feel about themselves. 1721 02:00:05,615 --> 02:00:08,575 I mean. That's not real love. That's... 1722 02:00:09,577 --> 02:00:10,869 I don't know what that is. 1723 02:00:12,330 --> 02:00:15,457 Please. Mary. Don't listen to him. 1724 02:00:15,625 --> 02:00:18,293 This is just another one of his stupid little ploys. 1725 02:00:18,461 --> 02:00:20,796 You know, Stroehmann, you are so full of shit. 1726 02:00:20,964 --> 02:00:24,842 - Yeah. You're the biggest stalker of us all. - You're gonna stand here and tell me... 1727 02:00:25,009 --> 02:00:27,427 ...that you're not nuts about this girl? 1728 02:00:27,971 --> 02:00:29,888 Yeah. That's what I'm telling you. 1729 02:00:33,810 --> 02:00:36,645 - Hey, good luck, Brett. - Yeah. Thank you. 1730 02:00:36,813 --> 02:00:39,731 She's a great gal. Take care of her. 1731 02:00:41,317 --> 02:00:42,943 I'll see you, Mary. 1732 02:00:43,862 --> 02:00:45,279 Bye. Ted. 1733 02:00:48,199 --> 02:00:52,202 - Hey, Warren, see you later. - Okay, goodbye. Ted. 1734 02:00:54,038 --> 02:00:55,622 Goodbye. 1735 02:00:57,000 --> 02:00:59,209 God, Mary, I've missed you. 1736 02:00:59,544 --> 02:01:00,586 Hey, Brett. 1737 02:01:00,753 --> 02:01:03,922 What are the chances I could get you to give me a little autograph? 1738 02:01:04,090 --> 02:01:06,091 - Something nice to the wife and kids. - What? 1739 02:01:06,259 --> 02:01:08,510 Oh, shut up. Cock tease. 1740 02:01:35,079 --> 02:01:39,499 Well, she's back with her old boyfriend 1741 02:01:39,667 --> 02:01:43,962 He don't challenge her He don't contend with her 1742 02:01:44,130 --> 02:01:48,425 And she don't answer the cards you send 1743 02:01:48,593 --> 02:01:52,554 And you're jealous of the time That he spend with her 1744 02:01:52,722 --> 02:01:56,934 Just let her go into the darkness 1745 02:01:57,560 --> 02:02:01,897 Let her live for all the things there 1746 02:02:02,065 --> 02:02:06,234 Let her go into the darkness 1747 02:02:06,402 --> 02:02:10,447 Let her go, let her go. Let her go 1748 02:02:34,222 --> 02:02:35,764 Ted. 1749 02:02:37,600 --> 02:02:39,226 Mary? 1750 02:02:41,145 --> 02:02:42,938 Ted. 1751 02:02:43,940 --> 02:02:45,607 Mary. 1752 02:02:47,777 --> 02:02:49,361 Ted. 1753 02:02:53,324 --> 02:02:54,825 You forgot your keys. 1754 02:03:08,673 --> 02:03:10,757 Did you really mean what you said up there? 1755 02:03:14,470 --> 02:03:16,722 I just want you to be happy. Mary. 1756 02:03:20,810 --> 02:03:22,936 But I'd be happiest with you. 1757 02:03:27,483 --> 02:03:29,026 You're fucking with me, right? 1758 02:03:33,614 --> 02:03:38,285 What about Brett Favre? 1759 02:03:40,246 --> 02:03:42,998 What did I tell you the first time we met? 1760 02:03:43,499 --> 02:03:45,125 I'm a Niners fan. 1761 02:03:58,056 --> 02:04:03,435 His friends would say "Stop whining." they've had enough of that 1762 02:04:03,603 --> 02:04:08,774 His friends would say "Stop pining, there's other girls to look at" 1763 02:04:09,233 --> 02:04:14,029 They've tried to set him up With Tiffany and Indigo 1764 02:04:14,614 --> 02:04:19,951 But there's something about Mary That they don't know 1765 02:04:20,119 --> 02:04:21,244 What are you doing? 1766 02:04:21,412 --> 02:04:24,956 - That's my girl he's kissing. - But you just slept with me. 1767 02:04:25,124 --> 02:04:27,584 I was only boning you to get to Mary. 135069

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