All language subtitles for Lexx.S04E17.1080p.HDTV.x264-NOGRP

My man is back,
my man in black,

he gives my head
a heart attack!

What's that sound?

Sparky robot love.

No, not you! That other sound.

That was the Lexx dry heaving.

Funny that it should
coincide with your return.

Oh, you want funny?

Well what about I come over there

and start pounding
you into tinfoil, huh?

Which I'm just about ready to do.

I'm shaking.

- Kai, do you know what it was?
- Yes.

The Lexx trying to vomit,
as 790 suggested.

He may have reached
the point where he has

begun to starve to death.

Starve to death?!
What are you talking about,

the Lexx can't die!

Everything that lives, dies.

And now is as
good a time as any.

So please Stanley, hurl yourself

off the bridge - you too, Xev.

Something's gonna
go off the bridge

all right, and it's gonna be you.

Lexx 4-17 Dutch Treat

Watch out Stan!

That's disgusting!

What is this stuff?

Fluid from a ruptured membrane.

The Lexx is consuming
its own tissue

in an attempt to stay alive,

and its efforts are endangering

its structural integrity.

At this time the effects

are superficial, but without food

they will soon become terminal.

- Meaning?
- Meaning,

that the Lexx will start
collapsing around you

as it digests itself.

- This is bad.
- Oh yeah, well what can we do?

- We lost the key.
- You lost the key!

I did not lose the key,

it was stolen from me!

So, so don't blame me.

- I am blaming you!
- Oh yeah?

Well, as I recall,

when I did have the key

we couldn't go anywhere because

the Lexx needed to eat,

to go anywhere at all.

So I said, OK Lexx, go ahead,

eat Holland,

you know, but you and Kai said

oh no, no, you can't do that.

So as far as I'm concerned

this mess that
we are in is all your fault

and it's Kai's fault,

so - you two go ahead

and figure a way out of it.

Fine, you're really helping!

Any ideas?

- Just one.
- What?

- The Noah.
- The what?

The Noah is
the name of the vessel

that Dr Ernst Longbore
is building

at his compound
in the Earth state of Texas,

with technical information
provided by 790.

The craft is designed

for extended space travel,

its mission being to find

a suitable planet for Longbore

and his followers to colonise

after the Earth destroys itself.

790, how close is
Longbore's ship to being ready?

- Not answering.
- 790!

I estimate that it is
something more

than 75% built,

and should be ready to launch

in 60 days, or less.

But I'm ready
to launch right now,

so grab hold of my boosters,

my long dead bunhead!

Not at this time, 790.

Why not?!
I've only been helping

these morons
as a favour to you,

and you haven't licked my casing

even once in return.

We should contact them

So, you'll help us?

It will be an honour to

count you among our number

as we search for
a new and better home

in the distant stars.

All right then.
We'll just pack our things

and come down
to Earth right away.

Take your time,
we will not leave without you.

It won't take long,
we don't have much to pack

Hey doc, the bus is here.

What bus?

The one from
the girls' school in Houston.

Ah, that bus.

Sorry to leave you, Lexx.

You were -

you are,

the best ship

a captain could ever hope to have.

I'm touched. No, really.

Now hup hup,
chop chop, load up

and let's make tracks -
I get Kai's lap.

Sorry 790, you're staying.

- Ha ha ha.
- Ha ha ha!

You are staying!

Don't be an idiot.

I'm far too valuable
to leave behind.

My vast knowledge
of almost everything

makes me indispensable
on the voyage.

You are an out of control

robot head

who's tried to kill me and Xev

over and over.

- We'll take our chances.
- Yeah,

Stan's absolutely right.
You're always betraying us,

and we just don't want
you around anymore.

Speak for yourself, slut face.

Kai won't leave me behind.

I will do what Stan
and Xev ask me to.

If they wish you to remain,
we will leave you.

- I wish.
- Me too.

People, we're a team!

We've been a team
for thousands of years.

True, I hate your guts,

but I've always
been there for you.

Without me you would have
been dead long ago.

Yeah, and with you
we'll probably be

dead tomorrow.

Face it, robot head -

you're finished.

This is madness - torture!

Please, I promise to behave

- from now on, I mean it.
- No.

I'll obey every command

either of you give me. I swear on my

- tiny piece of human brain.
- No.

Xev - I'll recite epic poems

to your beauty,
just like in the old days.

Stan - I'll defer
to you in all things.

I'll call you captain - sir -

Mr Handsome -
anything you want.

No!

Kai -

what about our love?

790 -

our love exists in your head,

not mine.

But I think I know
where the key is.

We're not listening.

Yeah, we don't trust you
anymore. Goodbye.

I -

I -

I'm not happy!

Now I personally guarantee

that if you follow this programme

for 10 minutes a day

for 30 days,

you too can have

a ruling class ass.

So - hit it!

And run! And run!

And run, and run,
and run, and run!

And kick it! And kick it!

And kick it, kick it, kick it!

And punch it! And punch it!

And punch it,
punch it, punch it - good.

Sir, there are some rather

pressing issues -

OK now - we're
gonna keep going,

and we're gonna lie

- all the way down.
- Mr President,

six Arab nations

are now threatening a jihad

unless you issue a formal apology

for asking them why they wear

those rags on their heads -

And kick it!
And kick it, kick it, kick it!

North Carolina is still waiting

for emergency relief,

and the South is threatening

to secede from the Union.

The people are demanding action.

And Bunny is providing it.

And call the French ambassador,

call the French ambassador.

Hey there French ambassador,

hey there French ambassador.

Work your buns a little more.

Go Bunny!

Go Bunny!

And now, you know what

you can do if you have
a partner, because sometimes

Mr President and I, we do - ah!

Stop filming!

Bunny,

my yummy yummy pooky plum.

- Are you hurt?
- I broke a nail.

I'll get the Surgeon General.

- Was I good?
- You were terrific.

O no darling,
you know we can't

But I'm a love pie,
Mr President -

and you are my filling.

I want to be your filling,

I want your pie,
I need your pie -

but Bunnykins, if we make love

you could lose
the key to the Lexx,

and Prince will be very -

It's not fair,

it's not fair!

Mr President -

Can't you see
my wife's very upset?

Leave us alone, both of you!

You are so sexy

when you tell people
what to do.

I am, aren't I?

You should call
the shots more often,

Mr President.

- Shh, he might hear you.
- Oh, who cares?!

- I hate him.
- I feel your pain my love,

- it's my pain also.
- Well then get rid of the TV

and he's gone too.

Destroy my prince?

He's not your prince,

he's just some
dead freako face

who shows up on the
TV screen once in a while.

I know, my perfect peach.

You are my prezzy wezzy

- love stick.
- Oh love stick.

And I am your honey bunny

who wants you naked.

So who cares about

the stupid old key?

I feel the same, believe me!

Well then get rid of the TV

and we're free.

Do it for me.

Do it for us.

Oh yes. Oh yes.

Yes. I am the man now.

- You are the man now.
- I am the President.

- You are the President!
- I'll do it, Bunnykins!

This...

This very moment!

You're the man. You're the man.

- You can do it.
- Yes, I can do it.

Oh, baby.

Yes, yes! Yes!

Mr President.

My prince.

Practicing our putting,

were we?

Yes, my prince.

I was hoping to p-p-p-practice

my p-p-p-putt.

Really? I could have
sworn you were thinking

of getting rid of me.

No no no no my prince,

never.

No, I wouldn't even dream
of such a thing -

lately.

It's so

wonderful to see you.

I've missed you so.

All right,

that's enough.

We have work to do,

- the three of us.
- Yes of course, my prince.

Anything.

NASA and the military

have spotted
a fast moving vehicle

approaching the Earth
from the direction of the moon.

This is of course

one of the Lexx's moths.

Now I want you to contact

the obnoxious robot head
on the Lexx's bridge

and find out
who is left on board.

Certainly, my prince.

- Now!
- Yes my prince.

Hello crew of the Lexx.

This is the President.
How are you?

Any of you that might
be left on the ship?

Not that it matters,

but I just called to say

hi, and, umm -

hi there.

Umm - is anyone home?

Gone.

All gone.

Robot head, is that you?

Kai gone,

love gone.

????????????????

The robot head says

they are all gone.

Excellent. Disconnect.

Now Bunny,
you do still have

the key, don't you?

Yeah, I think so.

You think so?

I mean, sure.

Of course she does, my prince.

Can you confirm
that you have not engaged

in hanky panky

that might have brought
the first lady to the very edge

of sexual ecstasy,
and so released the key?

My prince,

we have both
suffered through a long

and difficult period of celibacy,

our only concern
being to protect the key.

There has been
absolutely no hanky panky.

Yeah, not even a spanky.

How awful.

- Now start packing
- What?

Yes, you heard me!

Start packing.

No.

Number 327 -

no.

No.

Number 411 -

no.

Yes.

Dr Longbore -

it's the moth,

from the Lexx.

Mr President,
what are you doing?

Going on vacation,
a long one.

Where?

That's top secret,
and I may not come back.

Not coming back? But

sir,
you can't just abandon

the whole nation.

- There are so many urgent issues.
- You can have that.

Urgent to you, not to me.

I cannot in conscience

let you leave without
dealing with the more

- important ones at least.
- Sorry, we have to go.

The Chinese at least.

The Chinese, ah so.

Their country
is very crowded, no?

Tell them they
can have Wyoming

- as a goodwill gesture.
- The Arabs -

Oo, yes. Them again.

Sell Alaska back to them

for whatever
we originally paid for it.

Four hundred thousand dollars?

But sir, we...
we didn't buy Alaska

from the Arabs, we bought it
from the Russians, sir.

Then sell it back
to the Russians,

and tell them to deal
with the Arabs.

And now I have to go. Bye.

Mr President,

is there nothing
you would like

to say to the country
before you depart?

Oo yes, of course.

Some inspiration
for the people,

as it were.

Bye.

Oh, I'd just like to say

so long to all the friends

I've ever had
in my whole life -

especially Xena, and Kate,

and the whole
high school aerobics team -

go Pikers!

And my mom and my dad

and sister Hobby of course.

And my goldfish Bloopy

and my other goldfish Blop -

in heaven now. And my nanny

and my poppy

and my aunt Gigi
and my uncle Merrill,

and of course I can't forget
my favorite blanket,

you know, Mr Fuzzy,
because he's really been -

I knew you'd come back!

- Hello, Tina.
- Oh, friend of yours Kai?

We're more than friends.

Welcome, welcome aboard.

I am so happy
to have you as candidates

to be on the Noah
as it journeys

to the distant stars.

Whoa, wait a second -

we didn't come here
to be candidates.

We came here
to be passengers.

We all wanna be passengers,

but Dr Longbore is sensitive

to the issue
of histocompatibility.

Hista - what?

Histocompatibility.

As a natural matter
of precaution,

assuming that
the whole human race

is to be descended from us.

Come view our progress
on the Noah.

Whoa!

- Impressive.
- Isn't it?

- Yes!
- And thank you for helping

us design it.

When will it be completed?

We expect to be ready
to launch within two months.

- Which reminds me - Xev?
- Yes?

Would you happen top
have a piece of clothing,

an old T-shirt
or something perhaps,

that I could borrow for
a couple of hours?

- Why?
- It's for a little

experiment I'm conducting

for the trip - on allergies.

Sorry, I don't have
any T-shirts.

Anything would do -

a sock, an undergarment?

I don't wear socks -

or undergarments.

I wish we'd left
this thing behind.

Bunnykins -

Gone ...

gone...

Oo, robot head, hello.

Are you really
the only one on board?

Gone...

He looks busted.

Good thing too, he's icky.

- What was that?
- I've no idea,

but I think I wet myself.

My prince, are you there?

Are you transmitting?

Perhaps he didn't
make the trip.

I wouldn't miss it
for the world.

Quickly Bunny, the key.

Climb into
the pedestal and use it.

Now.

Ah, yes.

Although not presently
in the form

that I prefer,

still, finally,

I have gained control
of the Lexx -

the most powerful weapon

of destruction
in the universe,

so that now I,

Prince,

can get out there

and destroy.

What are you not
telling me?

Nothing, my prince.

Well, neither of you

are dead -

although that
could be arranged.

So that means that you did

indulge in hanky panky

sufficient to bring
the First Lady to the edge

of sexual ecstasy after all!

- Correct?
- No no no my prince,

- I swear.
- Me too.

We did nothing.

Remember sweetie?

There was that
one little smooch

we had before we left
the Lexx the last time.

No we didn't,
I don't remember.

????4.13

????4.13

No no no Bunny -

not now, we can't.

I mean, we shouldn't.

I mean - we have to be quick.

Oh Mr President!

No Bunnykins!

Oh, you useless

idiots! Your suffering

will know no bounds!

However -

at least you lost it here,

which means that
it is still on board,

which means that it is now
in one of the moth breeders,

as they are the only humans left.

So, go out and
start killing them

- until you find the key.
- Again?

My arms are still tired

from the last
lot I slaughtered.

Well, Bunny will help you,

won't you Bunnykins?

You are an aerobics

instructor, remember?

Huh?

Don't look so glum,
Bunnykins.

Killing these fellows
can be quite enjoyable -

well, if you get
in the right frame of

mind.

I don't wanna kill anything.

But it's our duty,

my sweet jam jar -

and you're lucky.

Last time, I had to strangle
them by hand.

But this time -

- What?
- I'm prepared.

Now I just take aim

at the nearest
little blue head.

Nothing to it.

Oh no!

The key! Get it!

Get it Bunnykins.

Faster, Bunny,

come on Bunnykins,
come on!

It went into him.

The key doesn't like me

anymore!

I want you to see this video

of Dr Longbore
I secretly recorded

this afternoon.

Sit down.

It is time now.

I will share
with you my plan.

My holy mission

is to propagate a new and

vastly improved humanity,

a thousand times more
vital than would be possible

with mere chance breeding.

So my little chucks,

please remove
your undergarments

and give them to Dougall.

He will return them

once I have
made the selection.

I think Dr Longbore

is becoming more and more

mentally unstable,
to the point

where I don't think
he can be trusted.

- What do you mean?
- He talks about

histocompatability,

but if that's true

then there should be
an equal number

of male and female candidates.

Yet he never seems
to show much

interest in the boys' underwear.

At first, I thought he was

just really interested
in sniffing

girls' panties, but -

I think it's worse than that.

How?

I don't think Dr Longbore

is sincere about
taking you along.

I suggest that you
keep an eye on him.

A group of us are.

- And Kai?
- Yes?

While I'm keeping an eye

on Dr Longbore,

can I keep my thighs

wrapped around you?

Well, I had to ask.

It's not working!

I'm trying, Mr President,

I'm really trying,

but we've killed
a zillion of these

poor little blue guys
and we still don't have the key

and I'm tired.

Why don't you try?

You got it.

Mr President.

No no Bunnykins,
you know we can't.

The key.

Gooone.

Goooone.

Finally!

Now quickly Bunny,

take command of the Lexx.

Hello, captain.

Umm, hi.

Goodbye, so long.

Good riddance.

Yes -

- Bunny?
- What?

What do people think of me?

They say you're - evil?

Exactly!
And so my going away

present to the Earth
should be consistent

with my reputation.

Bunny - tell the Lexx

to turn around and blow up

the little blue planet.

What?

It's OK Bunny,
it's all for the better.

- How?
- You're doing it all

for the better, right my prince?

No! It's all for the worse.

Now quick Bunny,

blast the planet.

Do I have to?

Oo, yes Bunnykins, I'm afraid

it's just one of those
difficult things

that you have
to do sometimes.

Lexx - umm -

I want you to

turn around -

and - umm -

turn around

and -

I can't!

Would you like me to destroy

the blue planet now?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Oh, I can't!

I mean, what about
all my friends,

and my aerobics class,

and Mr Fuzzy -

Convince her.

Just, just think of them all

as moth breeders, Bunnykins -

little blue gnomes,
nothing more, easy to kill -

mostly. Fun.

My mom is not

a little blue gnome!

I'm not so sure about that.

No, but you can
do it Bunnykins.

The Earth is a Type 13 planet

and it's doomed anyway.

By blowing it up

you will be saving your mom

and aerobics team.

and everyone else

from a terrible future

of misery

and suffering.

You will be doing them all

a big favour,

and me

an even bigger one.
You'll make me

very, very,

very, very,

- very happy.
- I live

to make you happy
Mr President -

but isn't this too much?

Bunny,

Bunnykins.

My Bunny boo boo,
honey pot,

love ladle.

My succulent squeezy squoo

oogie poogie pogo

pudding.

Pleasy weasy?

You always know just

how to convince me.

Lexx - I want you
to blow up the Earth!

Yes!

Ask the Lexx
what is wrong with him.

- Why?
- Because the Earth

is still there.

He only managed
to destroy Ottawa.

What's Ottawa?

A small-minded
little backwater

that until just now

served as the capital
of Canada.

- Well look!
- What?

This is the NASA feed -

the one they use to keep
watch on the Lexx.

Seems like the Lexx just

blew up

the city of Ottawa.

But the Lexx can't
blow up anything

- unless somebody orders it to.
- Exactly.

There's someone on the Lexx.

- What?
- With the key.

Kai, we gotta get Kai. Kai!

Kai, we gotta get...

- Kai!
- Kai, we gotta get back to the Lexx

- right now.
- Kai!

I wanted to
blow up the planet

but I couldn't because
I am very hungry

and very weak, captain,

and not feeling well.

Oh. Well, why don't you
eat something?

I would like to eat something

on that planet.

Then, I would feel better,

and do exactly
as you command,

all the time.

Tell him he can eat
the moon.

How about the moon, Lexx?

- Would that do?
- The moon is hard

and rocky and not tasty.

I have wanted to eat Holland

for a long time.

Holland is not hard and rocky,

and is full of yummy protein.

May I eat Holland?

Do we care about Holland,
my prince?

No, of course not!

Tell him he can eat it,

but he has to be
quick about it.

Holland schmolland
it is, butter button.

Aren't there people there?

Of course! But they're Dutch.

They're used to suffering.

Oh. Holland's all yours, Lexx.

Oh goody.

A tasty Dutch treat.

We'll never catch up to it.

The Lexx is way faster
than a moth.

Maybe not in its
present condition.

It is not necessary for the moth

to be able to travel
faster than the Lexx,

as the Lexx appears to be
heading back towards the Earth.

Look.

What's the Lexx doing?

The Lexx is eating Holland.

The Lexx is not
travelling at speed

but its velocity is still
greater than the moth's.

We will not be able
to catch up with it.

Who's on there,
who's doing this?!

Prince is dead, right?

Kai, Mr Tweedle,

Miss Xev - it's Tina.

If any of you are
getting this please respond,

please.

This is Kai. What is it Tina?

Oh good, you're there.

Listen Dr Longbore

lied to you about the Noah.

Lied how?

He told you that the ship

was 75% complete.

He tells everyone that.

But I think it's more like

99% ready.

Sounds like good news to me.

No! That's what he tells

people like us,
who've been with him

from the very beginning.

People who he promised
could come.

That's what he tells people

he plans to leave behind -

including you!

Kai, I was right.

- Are you certain of this, Tina?
- Yes.

And me and
some others are starting

to feel afraid. We're very careful,

but I'm beginning to think
he's not planning

to take us at all!

He's just gonna leave us behind -

- What is it?
- Oh, no!

- Oh. nooo!
- What's happening?

Tina?

Tina!

Gee -

that little bug looks
just like you, Lexx.

Lexx!

I've got a new friend.

That's nice, Lexx.

I'm gonna kill Dr Longbore
with my bare hands.

- After I do.
- No -

after I kill him.

Listen, do we have any chance

at all of catching up
with the Lexx?

No.

I won.

I always do -

in the end.

You are a genius in a box,
my prince.

And out of a box?

You are of course
a genius as well.

One last job to finish

before we leave.

Bunny, tell the Lexx

to turn around and
blow up the planet.

- We already tried that.
- Yes,

Yes, we have.

But now the Lexx is back

at full strength,

so let's try it again.

Lexx,

are you back at full strength?

Almost, captain.

- Excellent.
- I can now blow up

whatever planet you want.

Are you sure?

It's a type 13 planet, Bunnykins.

Lexx -

turn around.

As you command, captain.

Look!

The Lexx appears to be slowing.

Do you really really

really want me to?

I really really really
really really really

really want you to Bunnykins.

Goodbye, you ridiculous planet.

And a special farewell to Kai

and Stanley and Xev.

Thanks for the memories.

Toodle-oo!

Lexx -

I want you to -

blow up -

the -

Bunny, stop -

or the President
loses his head.

Bunny, tell them the name
of the planet

you were about to destroy.

I am very ready to blow up

the blue planet.

May I do that now,

captain?

No planet.

Lexx, I command
you to blow up

no planet!

As you command, captain.

Kai! You came back!

Oh, heaven on a stick,
I live and love again!

Kai,

it's so - special, to see you.

You too, Stanley.
And of course you, Xev.

Oh, save it!
You just tried to kill us,

once again, us and
everyone else on this planet.

I know! I'm evil,

- what do you expect?
- Kai -

turn him off.

Sorry Stanley -
I'm not even plugged in.

It appears that I am the ghost

in the machine.

Well, then we'll just
get rid of the machine.

Good idea.

- As for you -
- No no no no no.

please Isambard made us do it.

Bunnykins and I
were merely dupes

in his terrible plan.

We are good people,

forced to do horrible things.

No! You're horrible people,

forced to do horrible things -

well, just forget
about that for now.

Right now -

let's get the key back
where it belongs

right here.

- How?
- She will release the key

at the point of death.

You're not gonna kill me?!
Are you?

Oh no. No!

I've got a

much better idea.

Must I watch?

Yes, you must.

But it's humiliating.

That's the point.

Oo, now

Bunnykins -

time for some funnykins.

Come on now -

put a little effort into it.

Is she always this frigid?

I'm trying, it's just that I keep

thinking I'm gonna be sick.

Yeah, well we can get the key
out of you the other way you know.

Stan, how's it going?

Well, Bunny's holding out on me,

that's how it's going.

I'm trying!

Yeah, well she's resisting
all my charms.

What charms are those, Stan?

- Ha!
- It's not my fault

if I don't feel tingly.

Only the President
makes me feel tingly.

That is ridiculous -

I'm the tingle king!

Thank you for your efforts,

but now I think it's time

for me to offer
my humble services

to extract the key.

Bunny will quickly reach

the peak of sexual ecstasy

- and the key will be yours.
- Oh, no

no no no no no.

You are evil and we're not

giving you any satisfaction.

- But if you want the key -
- Forget it!

Let me try.

- What?
- What?

What?

I felt a tingle when
we played truth or dare,

and Stan dared us to kiss -

didn't you?

Yeah, maybe

a little bit anyway.

Goodbye fellas.

I gotta go in there!

I gotta go back in there.

- I'm with you.
- No you're not.

Evil man!

Yes! Yes!

Can we do that again?

I'm very disappointed.

And you two -

you should be very

very grateful that
we're letting you go.

Now just get
into your space shuttle

and go back
to that stupid planet

before we change our mind.

Well go!

Bunnykins,

please answer one question -

you haven't gone over to

the other team, have you?

Let's just say, I'm

a complicated woman
Mr President -

really a lot.

And you -

You are coming with me.

Really? And where are
you taking me?

Out in a moth, to the moon,

where I will crash you
at high velocity

onto its airless service.

And you think then that
you will be rid of me, do you?

- Yes!
- Yes!

I must say,

I object to this treatment.

Lexx -

who's the man?

I mean, who,

is the man?!

You are, Stan,

Stan

- and only Stan.
- and only Stan.

��������: Bankolya

Mikl, Bars
(������������� � �������������)