All language subtitles for Lexx.S04E06.1080p.HDTV.x264-NOGRP

Resync: Xenzai[NEF]

Is that Transylvania down there?

I believe it is an island
called Newfoundland.

Newfoundland.

Newfoundland?

What does that say?

It says

"From the office of the President of
the United States of America -

mmmmm, eruuuuum, mmm -

President Reginald J Priest"

There is nothing else here
I can understand.

But it does have
the President's name on it?

- Yes.
- OK,

then that makes me
king of Newfoundland.

That's it down there. I say we
go down, and visit my subjects.

I say we go down,
and visit my subjects.

What about Transylvania?

Transylvania can wait.

LEXX 4.6 THE ROCK

President Priest said this was
a sunny warm green paradise.

- I guess he lied.
- Well, maybe somewhere else, right?

It's a big island, right?

From the air, the entire island appeared
to be completely covered with snow.

Hey -

watch this.

Hello, my loyal subject.

I'm Stanley H Tweedle,
the new king of Newfoundland,

and I'm wondering if you could
direct me to the king's palace?

There's no stone left for you
to crawl under, Brud!

That is no way to treat
your new king!

Nice subjects.

Dignity, dignity.

You - are - onli -

the - most exciting

man in the free world.

Next to me.

- Prince.
- Mr President,

Bunny.

We were just - that is er,

- Bunny was -
- Tickling you.

Yes, well I'm sure you'd prefer,
Mr President, to be tickled all day.

However, there are
more pressing affairs at hand.

- There are?
- Yes.

Such as making sure
that the captain of the Lexx,

Stanley Tweedle,

does not leave this planet,

so that I will have some way off,

after I've finished making
a complete mess of it.

Do you recall

your pathetic and
incompetent scheme to kill me,

which made Tweedle the king
of the island of Newfoundland?

- Yes, I think so.
- Well,

apparently the king has
shown up to claim his throne,

which gives us the perfect
opportunity to persuade him to stay.

If Stanley Tweedle

leaves the Earth forever on the Lexx.

I will be very

unhappy,

and I will make sure

that you are very unhappy

as well.

Mr President.

How can you treat
the President like that?

- Easily!
- And always.

It's in my nature.
I am to dominate -

- all the time.
- In every way.

- My every whim -
- is my instruction.

- So -
- Yes?

How do we persuade Stanley Tweedle

to remain on this planet?

A clever way.
A very clever way.

- And that would be -?
- Something -

oo - that you would think of.

Correct!

- Bunny.
- What?

Do you love the President?

Completely!

Then you will go to Newfoundland,

and persuade Stanley Tweedle
to remain on this planet.

But I don't wanna
go to Newfoundland!

I wanna stay here with
the President!

- I'll go with her.
- No you won't.

I'll dream of you every
moment I'm gone.

And I'll come quickly -

- back.

You are a good Bunny.

Before I go,

can we please have one last

super special snuggle?

Sorry -

Chopper One is standing by.

And remember Bunny -

your loyalty to the presidency

is more important than your
loyalty to the President.

Do you understand?

- I think so.
- Good!

Come on.

Bye bye Mr President!

Happy hour, oh happy hour.

How happy are you at happy hour -

Are you happy at happy hour.

I wish every hour was happy hour.

Hey folks, thank ya thank ya.

OK now -

this next one's going
out to all the guys

out there who've got sisters

that can't do any better in the sack

than just lie there like a cold fish -

You gets offa that stage,
Brud Parsnip.

and all the ugly stoopid
cows in the world

with brudders who are even uglier

and stoopider than they are!

You're a dead man,
Brud!

Get back, you
coward -

jeesily devil dog!

George b'y!

Where's me sister's car,
Brud?

- I haven't got it.
- What about the five hundred dollars?

Look, I lost the car
on a pair of jacks,

and I spent the five hundred bucks

on a hotel room to wash
her frigging stink off me.

You ain't Brud, you fricker.

Musta snuck out arse foremost.

Where's Brud Parsnip at?

Hear he's playing here today.

We'd like to make a request.

Yeah, it's called
"I'm gonna lay the boots to Brud,

for sticking me with
a $400 long distance bill!"

Try the kitchen.

Aw, let's check the back.

I'm still freezing.

Come on, let's get warmed up.

Come on.

Greetings, loyal subjects.

I hereby declare today -
King Stanley Day!

They don't seem
to be celebrating, Stan.

Well, maybe they just
haven't heard the good news.

Hey, my good man -

I am Stanley H Tweedle, your new king!

Ow's she getting on, Brud?

Why is everyone saying brud to me?

It must be some kind of local greeting.

Stanley, how long
are we going to stay here?

Well, at this rate,
not a whole lot longer.

You know, President Priest
told me that Newfoundland

was a garden of wine, women and song,

and so far all I've seen is

cold and snow, and, and - yuck!

So, let's go back to the moth
and take off for the Lexx.

Maybe the time has come
to finally give up

on this planet and start
trying to find a nice one.

- Yeah, you know, that's funny.
- Why?

Well, because usually it's

cowardly captain
Stanley H Tweedle

who wants to go back to the Lexx,

and Xev, the brave Cluster lizard

love slave with a sense of adventure,

who wants to stay.

Whatever happened to your

"Carnivores like to explore" bit?

Cluster lizards are from a hot planet.

I just don't like it here.

Then why are we still here?

Why are we on this planet at all?

You are still here because I have asked
you to go to the place called Transylvania.

Yeah, exactly.

So explain to me Kai why you,

being dead and having no wants,

would want to go there?

I do not want to go there,

but I have an interest in certain
legends related to the place.

Stanley?

Bunny?!

Yeah!

Hi Xev, hi Kai.

This is one weird planet.

Are you the same Bunny
we met before,

that - died?

She is either the same Bunny
we met before, reborn -

or an archetype.

- How do you know our names?
- I jast do.

You are Kai - you are dead.

You're Xev, Stan.

- Hi!
- Hi.

- What do you want, Bunny?
- Well, I want you to stay here,

on this planet.

- Will you stay?
- Why do you want us to stay?

Can I talk to you, Stanley -

- alone?
- Oh, er, um -

We'll be over there - brud!

Come on Kai.

This is a really nice place Stanley.

Why would you want to leave?

What makes you think
we wanna leave?

So you'll stay?

You mean, here in Newfoundland,
or on this planet?

Yeah!

I dunno Bunny, I mean my kingdom here is

not exactly on the warm side,

and then we've got to go to a place called

Transylvania,

and then we'll probably just
head back to the Lexx

and fly away from this planet forever.

Oh, please don't fly away.

- Well, what does it matter to you?
- I want you to stay!

No, I'm sorry Bunny.

But hey -

you could leave
with us when we go.

I don't know, Stanley.

I think I have to stay here.

Oh well, suit yourself but you know,
we're out of here for certain.

It's not a question of if,
it's only a question of when.

Before you go, I could give
you a little going away present.

What kind of
going away present?

Come by room number 6,
at 7:30.

OK.

7:30.

Where's Bunny?

Oh, she just went upstairs, I'm
gonna meet her up there in a while.

What for?

She has a - present for me.

- Yeah, hello.
- Yeah, hello -

look, if you wanna find Brud Parsnip,

you'll find him tonight
at the Priest Hole

in room 6, 7:30. Bye.

Yeah, I tried to get him to stay, but

he said they were leaving
this planet anyway

and that was that, so -

- can I come back?
- No. What else did you say?

I told him I'd meet him later, to
give him a going away present, but -

I don't have a going away present!

Bunny -

you have done very, very, very well

for your country and your president.

We will arrange a going away present.

We most certainly will.

- What?
- You!

Bunny, wunny -

if you love your country,

if you cherish all that we hold dear,

and if you truly truly love
the Presidency -

I do! I do love the Presidency!

He means that you are to
seduce Stanley Tweedle,

if you can't convince
him in any other way.

Seduce him?

You mean you want me to -

Give him the ride of his life.

I don't know if I can.

I mean, I love the President so much,

I can't bear to think of another man -

Please Bunny, it's all right.
You can do it for me.

For the Presidency.

Oh, there's gotta be at least

one green garden around here somewhere.

Now that is some screech, b'y, dat is

Oh, fancy a tickle of the ivories, my son?

- My name is Kai.
- Oh, and I'm Father Pickle.

This premises is my little hole in the wall.

I opened it to raise money for the orphans

better than the bingo, don't you think?

You must be from -

away, then?

I am from the Light Universe.

I was an assassin for 2000 years, in the
service of His Divine Shadow.

I am dead.

Wonderful - well, each
of us has his own story to tell -

even if they don't come
to much in the end, eh?

Would you like to give it a go?

It is a musical instrument?

Oh, there's no fooling you, me boy.

The dead are easily fooled.

Ah, give it a go. She won't bite ya.

Listen up boys, listen up.

Tonight, we have something
very special for you.

This very good looking
young man, Kai,

is from a dead universe -

must be the mainland, huh?

But tonight he has promised us

a tickle of the ivories.

Hey, this should be good.

Yo Way Yo.

You're early - Stanley.

Well Bunny, I just couldn't
wait any longer to see you.

You seem - different.

Different?

Er, what, me,

Stanley H Tweedle, captain
of the Lexx,

different?

No,

I'm a hundred percent me.
Always have been!

Anyway, I just came by to say -

goodbye.

Goodbye?

Yeah, yeah, I've decided
to leave this planet, right now.

I'm gonna take
Xev and - Kai with me.

- You can't leave!
- Well -

I'm sorry Bunny, you know,
I'd like to stay,really I would, but

you know how it is -

captain of the Lexx,

there's a lot of important -

space missions that I've gotta do.

I just thought I'd come by
and say - so long.

Oh, tut tut tut,

no tears, Bunny, no tears.

I know how it must hurt, me leaving, but -

what can I do?

I can't help it.

This is just terrible, terrible!

There, there, there.

Now, you tell Bru -

brave Captain Stanley all about it.

well - I promised

I would get you to stay!

- Promised who?
- My husband.

Your husband?

Ah. Where's he?

In Washington DC.

He's the President of the United States.

What?

Oh, well -

he asked me to
come to Newfoundland

and convince you to stay on Earth
and so I said yes because,

because I love him more than
life itself and

and I don't want anything
bad to happen to him!

And now you're saying you're leaving
and I don't know what I'm gonna do!

- Oh, I
- Please don't go, Stanley.

Bunny, I feel your pain but

outer space awaits Stanley H Tweedle.

No.

Look, Bunny, you're young,
you'll get over it.

You'll have to let go
of my leg now, Bunny.

- I'll do anything you want.
- Anything?

- Anything...
- Anything, you name it!

No!

I couldn't ask you to do that,
it wouldn't be right.

Yes, you can ask me, you can ask me,

I'll do anything. Whatever it is, I'll say yes.

Would you cradle my rock?

Cradle your rock?

I don't know what you mean.

That's OK Bunny - I do.

Trust me - all will be

revealed.

Yo Way Yo.

Yo Way Yo.

Hom Var Ray,

Yo Way Ra,

Jerhume Brunnen G

Yo Way Yo,

Hom Var Ray,

Yo Way Ra,

Jerhume Brunnen G

Yo A Ra,

Jerhume Brunnen G

You do have some talent my son,

but your style is a little bit - stiff.

Try this - might help to loosen it up.

I do not have a liver.

Oh.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that.

Fortunately I still have
a fraction of mine left.

Oh, that hit the spot!

So, you're staying now?

Fraid not, I'm leaving
you and this planet.

- But you said -
- Yeah, well, I lied!

You know what they call that around here?

- What?
- Tough nookies!

Anyway, gotta run.

You were great.

I've had better, but not today.

But you promised you'd stay!

Well I did stay, now I've gotta go.

You are a bad,

bad man!

Yeah, well, I can't disagree with you there.

Er -

give my regards to Mr President!

- What time is it now?
- You just asked, 7:28.

- And what time is it now?
- I just told you, 7:28.

- And now?
- 7:29.

Close enough.

You're a bad man!

- I've gotta go!
- You don't know the half of it.

I've had to face
temptation me whole life.

Yeah, well I'm just learning about it, OK?

Even though I took a vow
of celibacy,

I swore to forgo the evil
pleasures of the flesh,

to deny myself the simple
physical pleasure

of romping naked on a bed,

with a beautiful, lithe,

- lissom, firm, gorgeous -
- Listen listen listen listen listen -

I don't know what you're talking
about pal,

but I've got to romp naked
with a very tempting young lady,

and you're making me late!

Fight the urge, bad man,

fight the urge!

Romping naked -

ooh, very dangerous words.

Away wit ya!

- Hi Bunny -
- Bad man!

Bad man!

But Bunny, wait!

Ow's she gettin on, b'y?

Are those words you're speaking,
or is your mouth broken?

Watch your mouth, Brud Parsnip.
We'll have no more of your lip.

Do you know what the funny
thing about all of this is?

- Wha?
- I'm not Brud Parsnip.

I am Stanley H Tweedle,

and I'm the new king of Newfoundland.

Oh. Well, come here then, Stanley
Tweedle the new king of Newfoundland.

Come here, I won't bite.

Well, OK.

Bout time the king was crowned,
wha?

You wanna nother screech?

I think you need nother screech.

Hi Xev.

Stan!

What do you think?

Where's your hat?

Threw it away.
New planet, new hat!

Spose so!

Ah - Xev,
I need to talk to you.

About what?

Not here.

What is it Stanley?

It's something personal.

What?

It's important, it's extremely important.

Can we go to the moth?

You serious?

I've never been more serious in my life.

OK Stan,

but it better be important.

I'll be right back.

Bad man!

Better not to think about it.

What is it you wanted to talk to me about?

You're a good listener Xev,

you know, that's one of the things
I always really liked about you.

That, and the fact that you're

a love slave Cluster lizard,

with a sense of adventure.

I'm listening.

Yeah, well you know,
there are certain things

I've been wanting to get
off my chest for a while.

I wanted to be able to really open up,

you know - it's just,

just - it's hard, sometimes.

Well, whatever it is, you can tell me.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Ah - not here.

- Why not?
- No, no, I can't talk about it here,

it's gotta be on the Lexx.

I don't understand what this is all about.

You will, I promise.

I'll tell you everything,
as soon as we get on the Lexx.

- It's that important?
- Mm hmm.

But what about Kai?

Oh, we'll come right back.

You know, it's just that
what I've got to say is so,

so very very difficult,

you know, I can only explain it on the Lexx.

Well, if it's really that,

very, very, important -

Oh it is, it is.
All right, let's go.

Oh look, do you -

do you mind flying?

I don't feel like I'm up to it just now.

Look, whatever it is

you think you're doing here, I can
tell you you're making a big mistake.

I am the king of Newfoundland,

and I refuse to be disrespected like this.

- Now release me at once!
- Or what?

Or I'll tell the
President of the United States.

Sure you will.

I've got a better idea,
Parsnip.

I'm not Parsnip, I'm Tweedle!

I'm captain of the Lexx,
I'm king of Newfoundland -

you got the wrong man!

See, only the real Brud Parsnip

could come up with a story like that, wha?

Now here's my idea -

for every lie, you get
one good pounding -

like that.

OK, OK.

I won't lie.

And you see all these people here?

These are some of the people
who you've lied to,

or else gotten money off of
and never returned,

or screwed over some other way.
Now mind you,

this isn't all of them. This is
a tiny minuscule fraction of them.

Today, we're gonna get settled up

once and for all.

You get one big jeesily pounding

for every lie you've told,

every promise you broke,

every bad debt that you rung
up over the years, you follow?

How many poundings
are we talking about here?

Well, into the hundreds, I would imagine.

If not the tousands, or even
the tens of tousands.

But I'm not Brud Parsnip!

Well, dat's ten tousand
and one, isn't it, wha?

Ten tousand and - all
right, who's first?

- So Stan, what is it?
- Whoa!

Why did we have to come up here?

What do you have to say?

Man, oh man -

We're here.
What is it?

Whoa.

Sit! Talk to me.

OK.

What is it?

Why do I have to feel so much?

I've never seen you like this before!

Can I trust you, Xev? I mean,
can I really, really trust you?

You can trust me Stan.

Oh, but this is, this is so
hard for me to say, Xev.

I'm here for you.

Say it.

OK. OK.

It's a song.

So, what is that thing?

- Keyboard.
- Huh?

I mean, it's a -

my music thingy, that I found.

It's a song that I want you to hear,
that I wrote,

just for you.

Yo A O, Hom Var Ray, Yo A Ra,

Jerhume Brunnen G

Way Ro Way, Ro Hanna Ro,

A Way Ro Ra, Jay Hanna Ray

Yo A O, Hom Var Ray,

Yo A Ra, Jerhume Brunnen G

Yo A O, Hom Var Ray,

Yo A Ra, Jerhume Brunnen G

Yo A O, Hom Var Ray,

Yo A Ra, Jerhume Brunnen G

Yo A Ra,

Jerhume Brunnen G

Of course, I can speak the Gaelic,

and a fair bit of Latin, and very little Greek -

but that language -

I don't recognise it at all.

It is the language of my people -

the Brunnen G.

And - what was that song about?

The Brunnen G were a once proud and
noble race of romantic warriors

who, over time, became isolated
and inward looking.

This song -

is an ancient song in a long lost
language handed down by my ancestors.

It was song,

by the Brunnen G
warriors, as we sang it,

when we went into battle
expecting to die.

And - what happened?

We died.

Oh Xev, oh Xev,

what is it Xev.

Who are you Xev,
oh Xev Xev Xev.

Why do I-I-I feel this way.

Oh Xev,
what can I say-ay-ay.

Happy hour,
oh happy hour.

You make me happy
at happy hour.

Happy hour,
oh happy hour.

Oh Xev, oh Xev,
oh Xevvvvvvvv.

Yeah. So, what do you think?

Yeah.

All right Stan -

out with it.

Out with it? Are you sure?

I'm sure.

Stan?

I need a hug.

I've been waiting a long time for this,

you lying thieving blood of a bitch!

40.

And then when I asked you
if you were at Doris's house,

you said you weren't!

41.

You said you needed my PIN number,

'cause it was right romantic
to share PIN numbers.

42.

Oh, this feels so good.

Let it out, Stanley.

Oh, but I've kept it in so long.

Well, now it's time to let it out!

But it's a part of me that
I've kept hidden from you.

Do you really want to see it?

Let it out, Stan.

Xev -

I want you,

to be the hand,

that's gonna rock my cradle.

- Sorry?!
- Oh come on Xev,

look I'll never ask anything

from you ever again, I promise.

What do you mean?
Stop this!

Come on, you know what
I mean. Enough is enough, huh?

- Stan!
- Hey look, you're a love slave, right?

I bet you've cradled plenty of rocks, Xev.

- Don't do that!
- Come on Xev -

don't be like that, 'cause
there's just the two of us here.

- It's enough.
- Come on!

I said it's enough!

Stan!

790, what have you done?!

Something I should have done
a long time ago, ha ha!

You killed him,
you confused junk head!

One down, one to go.

Put me down!

Where's the key?

Who cares!
Where's the Kai?

If Stan died, the key should
have come out of his hand.

I ought to throw you over too.

What's stopping you?

Nothing!

Poor Stan.

Long live the Brunnen G!

I think I'll just pour
meself another little drop,

to protect me from temptation.

You sure you won't join me?

No, I must rejoin my friends.

- Where is Stanley?
- You mean Parsnip?

He's getting the jeesily crap
beaten out of him downstairs.

OK, d'you fancy another rendition
of that tune there?

1, 2, 3, 4-

My turn to give him the gears,
wha?

Ow's she gettin on,
b'y?

Who the frig are you?

I am Kai.

Yeah, well you gotta wait your turn Kai,

we're just getting started here.

He is not Brud Parsnip.

His name is Stanley Tweedle.

Oh, Kai.

Gee - sorry skipper - y'alright?

Hello Stan.

Xev!

- and then, I

- cradled his rock!
- Oh, there there.

- I did it, because I love you.
- I know.

It was horrible!

You are a wonderful Bunny.

What are you doing?

People who don't treat

the President's Bunny
with the proper respect,

deserve what they're going to get.

You're the bestest President ever.

Bye bye Newfoundland.

Pe-ew!

I want to cradle your rock,
right now.

- You do?
- Mm hmm.

There's nothing that I'd like better.

Well then - cradle away,
by all means.

Up to no good again, are we?

Prince.

Of course, of course.

- Just the way you like it.
- Yes.

Are we all ready to go then?

- Go where?
- Oh surely, Mr President,

you haven'tforgotten about
the Antarctic summit.

Oo, I had, actually.

Air Force One is fuelled
and ready to go.

So am I.

There'll be plenty of time
for that,

after Antarctica.

- Where's Tarctica?
- This way.

I don't get it.

Brud Parsnip
looked exactly like you, Stanley.

Yeah, well he didn't act like me.

Totally different person.

I'm glad about that.

On each planet, there seem to be
a limited number of models of humans.

You happened to find yours
on this planet, Stanley.

Well, good riddance!

What was that?

That was the thermonuclear destruction

of the island of Newfoundland.

Oh.

Good thing we're on
our way to Transylvania.

Resync: Xenzai[NEF]

Mikl, Bars