Original subtitles

I cannot believe I'm actually in the Colombia jungle,

especially because I have a podcast all about Naked and Afraid.

Hey, everybody. Malu Beyonce here from the Naked and Afraid Podcast.

I just got on good authority I know exactly what Dan Link smells like.

As an armchair survivalist, I study the show.

I watch what the survivalists do right

and what the survivalists do wrong.

Why are y'all not getting in the water?

I don't know. Here's another question.

Why don't y'all have freaking bomas?

I wanna prove that just because I study my survivalist skills

when I'm on the couch eating tacos

does not mean that I'm not a real survivalist.

I'm really doing this.

This is absolutely insane.

Never in a million years did I think this would happen.

I'm not a real survivalist,

but I've seen enough episodes where "true survivalists"

have made mistakes and failed.

Heather, she keeps talking about how great she is at making fire,

and she hasn't done a single thing.

So I don't know what the the casting department's doing

bringing on half of these people

who have no idea what's going on.

You don't have to be a survivalist to be out here.

- I know what to do. - I know what to look for.

There's nothing that's taking me out of this challenge.

I'm just not sure anybody can survive here for 21 days.

Oh, my gosh!

Two strangers.

Run! Go, go, go, go!

Oh, gosh!

No food.

No water.

21 days.

Don't tap...

...die first.

Naked and Afraid.

Trust me, I am terrified,

and I mean terrified, of all the animals here at night.

But what I'm not gonna do

is I'm not gonna hear my tummy growl

and get freaked out like Clarence did.

What?

Oh, my God, are you serious?

That's kind of embarrassing, yeah?

I live and breathe this show and, as a podcaster,

I learned from all of these "real survivalist mistakes."

The boma they chose, the location was horrible.

Maybe I've never been out in the jungle,

but you know what? I'm gonna prove that an armchair survivalist

is a real survivalist.

This is insane. The palm trees have needles this thick on 'em.

It looks like everything out here wants to hurt you.

But I'm from Massachusetts, I'll be all right.

I'm a day trader

and a football director for a youth program.

Dig deep, dig deep!

I have a background in construction,

so I don't think building a shelter will be a problem.

But what sets me apart is my mental strength.

I became a survivalist out of necessity.

I didn't have an easy life growing up.

My mom was a single mother, five kids.

We grew up in homeless shelters.

At one point, we lived in a campground.

We didn't really have food to eat, clothes to put on our back.

I have overcome every hurdle sent my way.

I'm out here to prove that

there's nothing you can't do without the right mindset.

This is real and scary.

I can't even imagine the number of snakes.

Though they lack experience,

Naked and Afraid critics Malu and Kyle

will put their armchair survival skills to the test

for 14 days in the coastal jungle of Colombia,

a suffocating region of volatile weather patterns,

venomous insects, aggressive caiman,

and Colombia's apex predator, the jaguar.

OMG, it's time.

Looks like we're here. Time to put up or shut up.

It's time to get naked.

Let's go.

I watch my steps, make sure there's no snakes anywhere.

I'm sweaty. I stink. I haven't even gotten anywhere yet, and I smell.

- There's my partner. - -Hello.

-Hey. -Uh... I'm Malu Beyonce, and who are you?

- Hi, Malu. I'm Kyle. - Kyle.

-Hi, Kyle. Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.

You as well.

- Oh, my God. - This is crazy, right?

- This is crazy. - Not awkward at all.

I'm very awkward.

I'm very upset that I didn't figure out who you were.

How were you supposed to figure out who I was?

- Oh, I'm an armchair survivalist expert. - -Okay.

And I do a podcast, and you should already know who I am.

Have you ever seen my show?

No, I can't say that I have.

It's all right. I'll tell you all about it while we're out there.

-Okay, okay. -All right.

-I'm a football coach. -Oh.

I've seen about 100 episodes and I've coached all of them, basically, from my armchair.

- Mmm-hmm. - I figured I could come in here

and do it better than half of them.

Oh, that's what I'm talking about. So, you got some brawn,

I got some brains.

-Let's go. -And we'll show these other "survivalists"

how it's done, right?

-I love it. -All right, we're gonna do it.

I believe this is yours. There you go.

- What'd you bring? -All right. I can't wait to show you.

All right, let's see what you got.

- This is gonna be epic. Are you ready? -I hope so.

I brought a big ol' roll of duct tape.

-I see that. -Yeah. Are you excited?

I guess, yeah. Absolutely.

You know, duct tape has a bad reputation on this show

because the other survivalists have not used it so great.

You know what?

Ah, damn it!

There, I get our first...

-It's got a-- -It's got a leak.

Yeah, you'll just have to drink quick.

But I'm gonna bring the reputation of duct tape back.

-Perfect. Perfect. -All right. What have you got?

I have my machete.

In addition to their personal items,

Malu and Kyle have also been provided a pot and fire starter.

And I think I have the map.

So you're gonna have to hold my big ol' roll of duct tape.

So, this is where we are.

We're gonna go up here.

About right here is where we can have some fresh water.

- Absolutely. - Near the tree of life

and, as an armchair survivalist, I know that's important.

And also, I saw it at Disney World so...

Kind of important. I think that's where we need to be.

I don't disagree at all.

All right, let's go, 'cause this ground's getting hot.

Let's go.

You okay?

These rocks are sharp!

This water is looking very murky,

and we don't know what's in it.

I feel comfortable walking around the shoreline.

- All right. - -If you're okay with that.

- I'm gonna let you go first. - All right.

As my partner, is there anything that bothers you that I should be aware of.

I know we're still in the honeymoon phase,

but I really don't like it when partners don't sacrifice for each other.

- Well, it's a team effort, so... - -Yeah.

Now, as my partner,

I need to know that you're willing to sacrifice yourself.

In what way?

- Yeah, I got you. I got you. - I'm just saying, you're the leader.

- I got you. - All right.

Kyle brings mental toughness

and construction experience to the 14-day challenge,

but his headstrong nature could make teamwork difficult.

- He begins with a Primitive Survival Rating of 5. - 8.

Malu offsets her inexperience with an encyclopedic knowledge of Naked and Afraid,

but her directness could prove challenging with a partner.

- She begins the challenge with a Primitive Survival Rating of 5. - 7.

Oh, my God.

Aren't you surprised how hot it is?

Yeah, the heat sucks. It's wild.

The ground is a lot harder than what I thought.

Yeah.

When you're ready, I'll make you some duct tape shoes,

but do you want shoes?

Yeah, I'm not saying no to shoes.

-So... -All right.

-This is how I'm gonna make my duct tape shoes. -Go for it.

-I'm gonna take this. -Yup.

And I'm gonna wrap it here and, then, we're gonna make holes here.

-Okay. -And, then, we're gonna tie it. Okay?

-Sure. -So, what I need you to do is fold it over,

and make a slit, right there.

- I got you. - Not even half an inch.

So what's your favorite episode ever?

- Favorite episode ever? - Uh-huh.

Yeah.

I'm a big fan of the LOS series that just went.

The Last One Standing.

-Yeah? -I watched every episode. That was pretty awesome.

- So, I have a podcast where we-- - What is it for?

What do you do on your podcast?

Naked and Afraid Last One Standing.

- Oh, really? That's your podcast? -Yeah!

That's my podcast.

- Oh, okay. - Literally, that's my whole job, is to watch...

-Okay. Okay. -But you gotta keep working.

- All right. That's one shoe. - There you go.

All right.

There's your slit.

All right. Make one on the other side for me, please.

Yup. One on each. You're good.

Was that bird laughing at my duct tape shoes?

It's fair, but I don't care.

- I like Kyle. - He's great.

He's super-funny and he kind of gets my sense of humor,

and that's really gonna be helpful.

And, together, I think we're gonna prove

that armchair survivalists are actually survivalists.

- So fast. - -You're the only person in Naked and Afraid history

that has duct tape sandals with shoelaces.

My Air Force 1s are gonna be famous.

You're gonna crack me up this whole time, aren't you?

I hope so.

Okay, let's go.

- Yeah. - We gotta move it.

We're baking in the sun. We gotta get moving.

Oh, yeah.

The duct tape is definitely working on my feet where it was so hot.

Check out my armchair survivalist shoes.

And I truly feel that if Sean, Heather, and Dallas would've had these,

they would have done a lot better,

and their feet wouldn't be so jacked up, right?

- Yes. -Why are you laughing? Do I make you laugh?

You make me laugh, 100%.

This water looks stagnant, stinky.

It looks pretty terrible, I agree.

Just make sure that you keep looking for resources on the way in.

-Oh, I know. Absolutely. -Okay.

I haven't seen any food or anything like that yet,

and I haven't seen any snakes either.

That's bamboo.

- That is bamboo. - -That's bamboo right there.

Yes, it is.

We could hold water in that. We could build our whole shelter with that.

That's a good sign.

We gotta be getting close.

- We have to be. - Yeah.

Do you see any big-ass trees?

Yeah, tree. That could be the tree of life.

Oh, I do see a big tree.

All right, let's find a good spot to find the opening to break in.

- I think that we should find base camp. - -Okay.

- And start building? - -Start building and get water.

Yeah.

Look, there's a clearing up here.

- Let's go check that out. - -Yeah.

- Oh, coconut. - -But that one's not any good.

- Coconut crabs, that's what these are. - -Yeah.

These are coconut crab burrows.

Look at that tree. There's plenty of coconuts up there.

There's coconuts everywhere! There's coconuts everywhere.

Maybe I shouldn't talk so loud.

I'm like Jeff. I never thought I would be like Jeff.

Yes!

I didn't think I was like Jeff, but Jesus, I'm so happy!

Oh, yeah.

We should call this home base.

- Okay. So that's the water source on the map? - Yup.

The closer we are to the water,

the more mosquitoes we're gonna have.

- Yeah. -Okay. I'm looking at the sun.

We've probably got about three hours left.

Okay, so let's do this.

Let's set up base camp near that tree.

Okay? Start a fire, then start getting building materials.

Okay, yes.

- Does that make sense? - -Yes, let's do that right now.

- Oh, look at that find. Great job. -Thank you.

In terms of survival, we need shelter,

water, and food.

And in order to get water here, you need to boil it.

All right.

-No, I'll let you scrape. -Okay.

-'Cause this is gonna light on fire. -I know.

Keep going.

There we go. See, the duct tape is freaking awesome!

- You're not wrong. Great job. -I love duct tape.

Here you go.

There we go. This one's catching.

-Oh! -Let's go.

- It's gonna take a little while to boil. - -Yeah.

I want a platform and A-frame enclosed. What did you want?

Yeah, not a problem.

- Okay. - All right.

Okay. Well, I'm gonna start clearing off this area.

Do your thing. You start clearing,

- I'll start bringing over poles for beams. - -Okay.

Heads.

Usually, I watch Naked and Afraid in my bed.

And, now, I'm on Naked and Afraid making my bed.

This is crazy.

As I'm chopping down the trees,

it's raining fire ants, and my body is just burning.

There's bites all over me.

My hand's throbbing.

It's, like, raining fire hell. I don't...

I don't know how to explain it. It's...

I've never seen anything like it.

- Where are you itching? - Everywhere.

They're all over my whole back. Lines everywhere.

Jesus, they're eating me alive!

Yeah, look at... There's red ants all over all this stuff.

- We'll be careful. - Yeah.

Known for its fiery venomous bite,

the tenacious, slender twig ant lives in tropical trees

and furiously attacks anyone threatening its nest.

Oh, all over us.

- My fingers are numb. - Yeah.

They're burning so bad.

They're everywhere.

How many ants do you see?

- Thousands. - Okay.

Okay. Then, you know what? This is not working out.

- There's too many ants. - I know. I know.

It's getting dark.

I'm just not happy with where I am right now.

We're losing light, and we're losing light fast.

And we do need to restart our shelter

because we can't be near ants because it's killing us.

Oh, I'm getting eaten right now.

This sucks.

Oh.

- There's too many ants. - I know.

It's getting dark.

All right, call me crazy...

- What? - -What if we moved right there?

You don't see ants anywhere on that tree?

It doesn't look like there are any.

If there's no ants over there,

and the ants are our biggest problem right now,

isn't that where we need to be?

The Colombian devil super-evil ants are attacking us.

So, we decided to move everything to this little cubby tree.

This is the way the armchair survivalist expert makes shelter.

You have to adapt and...

- Absolutely. Adapt and overcome. - Yes.

We have an hour till sunset,

and this is gonna take two hours to build up,

so we're not gonna get a full shelter.

And that's what we need.

- Let's get this across. - Okay.

For their new shelter, Malu and Kyle will build a lean-to

tucked between the roots of a kapok tree

and shingled with palms from the areca plant.

Obviously, it's a little different

than the type of shelter we wanted to build,

but we'll hope for the best tonight.

Jesus, these bugs are no joke.

- We need to sleep. - Yeah, we certainly do.

But it's really difficult to sleep when you've got about 4,000 bugs

- eating you alive. - -This is so uncomfortable.

I know.

I just pulled something out of my butthole.

- Oh, my God. They're in my privates, too. -Yeah.

This is nuts, man.

I've never been eaten alive by bugs like this in my life.

I mean...

I think we expected this because we critique it so much.

I mean, it's one thing to critique it,

but then, when you're the one I'm sitting in the middle of the Colombian jungle...

- Mmm-hmm. - ...getting eaten alive by God knows what,

it's a little different.

Oh, I'm getting eaten alive.

That was the worst night of my life.

It's just, like, it didn't end either.

It's just, the sun took so long to come up.

I felt like we were in a sleep-deprivation chamber.

I felt like I was locked in time.

Like, I felt like it was just, time just stopped.

I was like, "Let me out! Please come up, sun."

The bug bites are white and pussy and hurt like hell.

It's funny how easy it is to critique things at home from your couch, right?

But then, when you're in the situation,

processing what you're thinking is just... it's crazy.

I came into this thinking there's absolutely nothing

that could take me out of this challenge.

And, night one, I'm thinking to myself,

"What the hell am I doing here?"

I'm gonna go wandering for a little bit, see what I can find for food resources.

- I saw a few coconuts over there I wanna grab. - -Mmm-hmm.

- And bring something back for us. - -Okay, okay.

Oh, man.

It's so dense.

These crabs love coconut.

They're quick.

The crabs... The blue crabs are everywhere.

Still not catching them.

There's about 487,000 crabs everywhere.

The problem is, as soon as they feel the vibrations on the ground,

they disappear immediately.

So, I'm working on a way to get them.

And, in the meantime, I can collect coconuts off the ground.

Come and try this.

Yeah, we're good.

You get the first sip, partner.

Oh, my God.

All right, love you.

This is awesome, man.

- Oh, my God. - It's amazing.

- It's amazing. - It's so good.

Freshly cut coconut, oh, my gosh! There's nothing like it.

And they're cool.

Like, there's not a refrigerator, it's hot in the jungle.

How is it possible that freaking coconut juice is cool and refreshing?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

- Let's go. - Yeah?

Water, shelter, fire, and coconuts on day two.

It's only day two?

Yeah, it is day two.

It's only day two.

This sucks.

We're not really sleeping.

It's been a long, long night.

It's raining.

But we're in a jungle, that's what it does.

Dang it.

So tired.

It is what it is.

It'll end. This isn't forever.

All right, let's try to get some sleep.

So, today, I'm going to make a fire wall for behind this.

So, just a little fire wall right here to help maintain the heat.

We can put a roof on top of it for when it rains

and have everything just flow off of it.

I don't wanna be sitting here holding leaves over it to keep the fire going,

just like Andrew did and lost their fire. That's what made them tap.

The storm is just dumping buckets on us,

and we are doing everything we can to keep this fire going.

Oh, golly.

I love that.

- I want to have a covered fire. - -Yeah.

- Because it is going to rain hard. - -It's essential.

- Worse than it was last night. - Yup.

That's why I want a four-door enclosed shelter.

This isn't what we came here planned.

-Like, we didn't have this planned. -No.

- No. - -But now that it's here, it works.

- Yeah? - -We'll try it out for a couple of days

- and, then, we'll go from there. - -Okay.

It's not anything wrong with the shelter, but it's not my dream bungalow.

So, let's try this out for a couple of days,

and if it works, why, you know, make another shelter?

So, today, we can make a fire wall.

Here we go.

So, I'm building a fire wall.

I'll have stakes in the ground, two on each side.

And, then, I'll have the bamboo in the middle,

and a roof on top of it for when it rains

and have everything just flow off of it.

Come on.

And, then, this is what we're gonna cover it up with.

Yup.

One beam, one more beam, a couple of braces,

areca plants, we're good.

-Hang on. But this isn't covering the fire. -It will.

All we have to do is push it back a little bit.

That's it. Just move that log, push it back a little bit. It'll be fine.

That's it. Easy.

You're gonna push the fire back if it rains,

-is what you're saying. -Yeah. Exactly.

I think it'll be fine. 100%.

Okay.

I have a lot of problems.

Number one problem, he's using the bamboo and he's like,

"Well, I have the fire far away from it

'cause I don't want it to be burned."

The whole point of the whole thing was supposed to be

that the fire was protected in case it rains.

The fire's not even centered of his fire shelter.

It makes no sense.

The only critique I have is that I don't understand

why you're building it behind the fire instead of over the fire.

- All we have to do is push it back. - -Okay.

What I'm saying is that we should move it back six inches now.

There's no need to move it back right now.

It's gonna burn the bamboo more.

It's completely fine right there.

- Yeah. -That's all. It's not a problem.

It's a non-issue, honestly.

It doesn't make sense to me to move the fire back against the fire wall

and ruin the materials that I had already spent

a bunch of energy on collecting.

When, if it does start raining, I can just move the embers back,

and it will solve the problem.

I don't think that she should be critiquing someone else's work.

I'm critiquing what I would say on the podcast.

But we're not on the podcast, we're in real life.

No, but the podcast talks about Naked and Afraid.

That's fine. We're actually doing Naked and Afraid.

-We're not on a podcast. -I know.

Well, it's gonna be a fun night.

So, it's raining.

My partner has moved the fire next to the fire wall,

so it's pretty far away from our shelter.

I hope it doesn't rain long.

You're not worried about being cold and wet?

I don't... This is nothing to me. I'm fine.

Malu seems to have a lot of critiques on how to do everything,

but doesn't really do much.

Our shelter is leaking.

The roof is really good.

There's barely any holes anywhere.

What do you mean? It's just dropping everywhere.

Like, it just leaked on my forehead right there.

It just leaked on my toes. It just leaked on my back.

I'm trying to listen to her and trying to be positive.

But when she critiques, it sounds like she's complaining.

You have an opinion on things that you can't do yourself!

What can you do? What can you do?

You build yourself a shelter tomorrow that's 100% leak-proof,

and I'll shut my mouth.

Oh, no.

So, apparently, I'm a drama queen because I was cold

because it was rainy last night.

I got soaked, everything got wet.

This was not fun and games. This was...

suffering.

Then, I had to suffer through him.

Hey.

We have a lot of things to talk about.

- Yeah, I was kind of an ass. - -Mmm-hmm.

I'm sorry.

But in the middle of August, you get cold.

But, then, I realized you're smaller than me,

you live in Texas year-round,

so you've got way higher temperatures.

- So you weren't cold at all? Zero cold? - Not even a little bit.

- I was sweating. - Okay.

Listen, the narrator guy on Naked and Afraid says

that when your skin is wet and the temperature drops,

- hypothermia can happen in less than ten minutes. - -Yeah.

Hypothermia is not gonna happen.

It got real real last night with all the rain and the emotions

and the no sleep.

But we apologized to each other

and, ultimately, when it comes down to it,

we'll get over it 'cause that's what a smart survivalist does.

-Okay, this is what my biggest issue is. -Yeah.

The shelter was too far from the fire,

-but the fire was warm. -Yeah.

I think making a new shelter, probably a good idea.

What did you have in mind?

So, this is what I was thinking.

So, I was thinking about four structure beams and outside beams,

four-feet high.

- And, then, two platforms. - I wanna be off the ground.

A little fire pit outside to boil water.

- I have no problem with it. None. - All right.

All righty, let's go.

So, we are finally building my new Jungalow!

It's my dream bungalow,

and I came up with it from Amazon XL

because they were in Colombia,

and everybody had somebody tap,

except Amber, Trish, and Jen.

And you know why nobody tapped?

Because they had an enclosed shelter.

The only thing left that we have to do in here

is cut the bamboo slots for the bed.

- I just wanna put the skirts on. - -Yeah.

Teamwork makes the dream work,

and it's a dream that he does most of the work,

and I get to decorate.

I got a name for our house.

Coconut Castle.

I like Coconut Castle.

-I think it looks pretty. -Yeah, it's all right.

Not bad for a couple of amateurs.

Well, someone says that you shouldn't bring bougie to the jungle,

and I think this proves them wrong.

This is definitely bougie and survivalist-y, don't you think?

I think that it looks great.

I think everything about it is awesome.

I think it's gonna keep us dry.

I hope it rains again tonight.

- Yeah. - This is not normal rain.

No, this is like, it's monsooning outside.

I'm starting to get wet.

The fire's getting a little bit late.

It was storming about, let's say, at level 10,

and it just picked up going about to level 20.

- The temperature dropped 30 degrees. - -This is miserable.

I'm struggling to find a place in the shelter that's warm.

The wind knocked over our fire wall.

This is tapping situation.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, it's just a mess.

There's debris everywhere!

I can see right into the shelter.

I can put my whole hand in.

This was our fire wall.

The wind's kind of knocked it all down.

I don't know who we made mad in this Colombian jungle,

but guess what? We're alive!

And the Jungalow has made it.

Everything else looks a mess, but it is salvageable.

Do you have any preference for the fire pit?

It needs to be adjacent or inside the shell.

What if we just built it out like this?

-It's gonna stay outside? -And we put it right here, but we put a roof over it.

- Yeah. - All right.

I originally built the fireplace too far away from our shelter,

as opposed to just adding it onto the end.

- You're gonna weave it? - Yeah.

That way, it's stronger,

not falling all over the place.

So, this time, we decided to attach the fire shelter

to our Jungalow.

And I decided to weave bamboo,

so I'm interlacing them in between each of the sides.

This looks better already.

Dang. First morning that I actually slept.

Tell you what, man,

it's amazing what a few hours of sleep will do for your mental.

I feel great.

I think, before extraction,

we're definitely gonna need, like, a boost of energy.

Absolutely.

We've got tons of coconuts.

I do wanna get some crabs, though.

That way, we eat some protein.

I mean, I can definitely help you with that.

Let's go.

Again.

Remember, we have no mercy when it comes to food.

Sorry.

I've got coconut, 'cause all these coconut crabs love them.

So, my plan is to put it near their hole.

Let them come out and try to grab it, and I'll be waiting right by

to spear 'em.

It's the best plan I've got so far.

I got it, I got it.

I just killed this crab with this stick.

Am I a survivalist? Yeah.

Because I learned from Naked and Afraid on my couch to bring a stick.

So, I'll put that in my bag and give it to my partner.

Man, these crabs are so elusive.

I feel like these crabs are literally taunting me.

They come out, stare at me, as soon as I move,

they all disappear in unison.

Got you, bitch.

Let's go! Finally.

Got my first source of protein.

Honey, I'm home. I brought dinner.

I beat a crab to death.

What? You're a beast.

Good job!

We have crab, so we're gonna have a crab boil.

I'm cooking all the crabs.

Man, I am dirty, but I do not care

'cause I'm about to fill my belly with crab.

What's that noise?

That's the noise of crab mad 'cause they about to get eaten.

Crabs.

Coconut.

Man, I'm super-excited.

-Enjoy. -Sentimental.

Now that we have a strategy on how to hunt them going forward,

we have plenty to get through the rest of the challenge.

Mmm, so succulent.

So, we're here at the tree of life,

near these two bodies of water.

And that's the ocean.

With their extraction only one day away,

Kyle and Malu will need to build a raft

to navigate the freshwater tributaries that lead to the ocean.

This is where the caiman are.

I am not going to play with caiman.

I'm not gonna be near caiman. I'm not swimming with caiman.

So, we're definitely gonna have to build the raft

with the bamboo that we're collecting.

- It's a good idea. - -I think, start collecting the bamboo.

- 100%. - -Okay, so we have a plan.

- Yeah. - Let's do it.

Let's go.

Our extraction point is at the end of this river,

so we need to build a raft.

Building a raft is something that's new to me.

I know it's made out of bamboo,

but I don't know how much weight the bamboo will hold.

Best idea is to bring it out there with both of us

and see how two pieces affect each one of us.

- Sound good? - Yes.

All right.

- You wanna come try this, see how it floats for you? - -Okay.

We're gonna need a little bit more, probably, huh?

I feel like that was a setup.

No.

-It was not. -Okay.

We'll still probably need a little bit more.

- I mean, I went right down. - Yeah, I know.

-I mean, right down. -Yeah.

So, we probably have, like, eight pieces of bamboo left over.

- So, we'll have to cut a little more. - -Yeah.

Another stalk.

We need more bamboo!

I'm feeling better. All I need is a shot!

A shot and more bamboo, that's what you need.

- Yes, yes, yes. - All right, perfect.

Let's go, go, go.

The most ingenious raft was EJ's "swan song" of a raft in XL

on his last appearance.

That's the Amazon river.

We are officially in the Amazon river!

- That raft was amazing. - It even had a cover on it.

But we can't deal with fancy-shmancy...

- No. - ...rafts.

I just want a raft that's gonna get us there.

Yeah, me too.

I think a lot of people try to go fancy, and that's their downfall.

- Yeah, just keep it simple. - Mmm-hmm.

Use what you got.

We're gonna run out of duct tape, so we need cordage.

From past experience of watching this show,

I'm gonna keep it simple.

I'm gonna have two layers of bamboo stacked on top of each other

with cross beams on the bottom,

and securing them with the areca vines.

So, the vine that we have is not very flexible, very pliable.

So, I'm using the areca stick,

and I'm bending the vine on the stick to make it more pliable.

When I came out here, I really wanted to prove

a lot of the skills that I've learned from watching

Naked and Afraid.

So, I'm using my areca stick to try to make it more pliable,

make it more soft, because this cordage is tough.

I mean, it's tough like my grandma cooked it overnight in the stove,

and I need to make it softer.

- So, we're each doing our part. - We're each working together.

And, even though I'm doing most of the heavy lifting,

Malu is working nonstop to help out.

Damn it!

We do work well together as a team.

I believe we're gonna hit the ocean.

I truly believe that.

One, two, three...

I'm not here to show off raft-building skills,

but I also don't wanna sink in that water

and get eaten up by something, so...

And you know this water is full of caiman and snakes.

All we have to do is test this raft.

And I hope it works, because if it doesn't, mama's in trouble,

'cause I don't know what else we're gonna do, child.

- It's sinking. - No. Damn it.

I'm making torches to help us see at night.

I'm using a combination of coconut husk,

very, very dry sticks,

and duct tape to keep this going.

Believe it or not, it works great.

Duct tape has really made this project a lot easier.

It's such a great tool that's super-underutilized on Naked and Afraid.

Here's our little torch.

We've got some bamboo.

We've got air pockets for the wood to breathe.

And wrapped it in the areca vine quarters that my partner made.

We've got a bunch of duct tape, coconut husk inside.

You love my duct tape.

Listen, I am so glad you brought duct tape.

That duct tape has a million uses. It's incredible.

It's incredible.

- It's sinking. - No.

So, when Kyle gets on the raft, it does not float 100%.

And I'm telling you the truth, I am worried.

- Wanna come try this? - Okay.

Tomorrow is extraction, and we're exactly where I did not want to be.

It's great that it holds you perfectly.

If there's a problem with me on there,

I can just swim it and hold on to it for breaks if I need.

As long as there's no caiman, we're good.

Well, you can't forget about the snakes

and all the other creepy-crawly things in the water, either.

We don't have time or energy

to continue to build this one up to hold me as well.

So we're gonna have to make this work.

I'm gonna have to swim alongside of the raft,

and hold on to it when I need breaks, and hope for the best.

All righty.

If a monkey messes with our raft, I'm fighting a monkey.

All right. Last night. Extraction's tomorrow morning.

Enjoying my last fire, a little bit of reflecting.

We're just anxious to get the hell out of here.

This challenge has been exactly that, a challenge.

Super-grateful for being uncomfortable,

being pushed to my limit.

I'm ready to leave Colombia.

I'm ready to go to sleep

and get ready for this really tough extraction.

And the danger that it's gonna put us in is scary,

but I'm ready for it.

I've got a long swim ahead of me.

That makes me a little nervous 'cause of those caiman and snakes,

but I guess we will see.

Here we go.

Day 14 is finally here.

That's my leg.

I can't wait for this leg never to be here again.

I'm so happy for this to be over.

Get me out of here!

Just like we do warpaint with the boys on game day.

Go, Bulldogs.

We still got extraction.

That's the only thing between me and my family.

Today's gonna be one of those days I'll never forget.

- I am excited for it. - I feel so strong.

All right.

Here's my duct tape bikini, y'all!

I'm ready to G-O, go.

Just wanna say I'm super-proud of you.

Honestly, we've both come so far from day one.

Yes.

And nobody else I'd rather have gone on this journey with, honestly.

Besides Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson,

there's nobody else I could have completed this with besides you.

I'll take a back seat to The Rock, no problem.

- All right, perfect. - All right.

- All right, let's get out of here! - -Let's go.

Peace out, Jungalow.

Bye, Jungalow. Love you.

To reach their extraction point,

Kyle and Malu will have to navigate

through three miles of tributaries

teeming with territorial caiman and venomous stingrays

to reach the Atlantic Ocean, where they will meet the vehicles

that will take them out of the jungle.

- Ready when you are. - Okay.

I'm gonna do my best not to touch the bottom.

Yeah.

The bottom is definitely...

- Ooh, it's so squishy. - -Yeah, there's gotta be something in this water.

- You good? - Uh-huh.

All right.

It's deeper than what I thought it was gonna be.

Mmm-hmm.

It's like snake heaven.

Please be careful. I know there's stingrays and snakes

and, God forbid, caiman.

Yeah.

Believe me, I'm doing my best.

I don't want any of those things touching me either.

That sucks. That's gross.

Keep pushing.

I'm trying. It's covered in crap and lily pads.

My feet were a foot into the mud on the bottom.

You have no idea what's below you, what's on the side of you?

You are the prey, so to speak.

- Stay towards the middle. - Yes.

Here we go.

Okay, you heard that, right?

- You saw that, right? - Yup. Absolutely.

-What is that? -What is what?

Where?

Up 15 feet, moving towards our left.

Whatever it was, it's moving away.

I know that there's caiman. I know there's snakes. I know there's stingrays.

I'm worried.

I don't know what that was that was just in the water that jumped,

but we gotta get by that.

- It's getting deeper. - I know.

Oh, I can't even reach the bottom.

Yup, I'm done. I can't use this anymore.

Grab the oar.

- Yeah? - Yup.

- How deep is it right there. - -I can't touch.

Let's go you're almost there.

Almost there. I can feel it.

I'm tired. And I know you're tired.

I'm swimming.

We got this. We got this.

Right around this bend.

I can hear the ocean. Come on.

There we go.

There's the ocean. I can hear it.

I can see it.

Oh, look at the ocean!

I see the beach!

Where's our extraction vehicle?

Where's the guy?

Oh, my God.

- We made it. - Yeah.

We made it. All right.

Yo, our raft made it.

Our raft made it all the way!

Let's go, dude! Good job, man!

Yo, hell of a job.

We are no longer armchair survivalists,

we are survivalists!

-Give it to me! -I love it.

-I love it. -Oh, my God!

So, we made it, man.

It's just complete bliss, complete joy.

There's no better feeling than winning.

Let's go!

I'm so... so excited.

- Yo, good job, dude. - Yes.

This 14-day journey started off hard.

And, then, it just got harder and harder and harder.

And I just got stronger and stronger.

And you know what, as an armchair survivalist,

I wouldn't be here without the skills that I've learned

from watching Naked and Afraid.

And my partner is a superhero.

But I don't think I'm ever gonna do this again.

I think I love my couch too much.

But don't get it twisted,

I am and will always be a real survivalist.

And don't forget, in this challenge,

duct tape was queen, just like me.

Malu used her armchair survivalist expertise

to withstand Colombia's devastating jungle conditions,

dropping 15 pounds in the process.

Her Primitive Survival Rating rises 5.7 to 6.6.

Before we leave, you know what time it is!

-It's time to leave Colombia! -Colombia.

Colombia? Did I do that right?

-No! -That's what I'm doing.

- Colombia! - Colombia!

- Let's go. Let's go. - Let's go.

What an incredible journey, honestly.

This has taught me so much about myself, about life.

No matter how bad you're suffering, no matter what's going on in your head,

there's no obstacle too big for you to overcome.

We had to work through communication issues.

We had to learn how to work together.

I'm gonna take everything I can out of this going home,

and be the best person I can.

I would absolutely do another challenge.

This journey has been incredible.

It's just a complete natural high that you can't get another way.

Utilizing his construction knowledge and metal resilience,

Kyle successfully crossed the finish line 30 pounds lighter.

His Primitive Survival Rating skyrockets from 5.8 to 6.9.

Get me out of Colombia!