Original subtitles

Well, it's the comedy episode,

and you might think I'd have a tight set

or a monologue for you to open the episode.

Live chicken.

Well, that's where you'd be wrong.

I've been doing standup for over 20 years.

No, that's not it.

And after all that time, nothing bores me more.

There it is!

Which is why I've been preparing something special.

It's an avant-garde presentation

on the cycle of life and death that...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I'm Cameron Esposito and this is "King of Drag."

The winner of "King of Drag"

will receive a custom crown from Elea's Closet,

two tickets for a Mediterranean cruise with OUTbound,

an all-expenses-paid trip to Palm Springs

to be the first drag king

to perform at the legendary queer women's festival,

The Dinah.

And you get a year's worth

of unstoppable beauty from e.l.f. Cosmetics and e.l.f. Skin

And of course, $10,000 cold, hard cash.

Honey, I'm home.

Yay, Chase.

Chase, you're back in the lounge.

Oh my God, thank God.

Back in the lounge.

How does it feel?

Yeah, how was that?

Let me just say,

VERA! Is the most amazing person I've ever met.

It was an honor to compete with them,

but it was, I mean, obviously horrible to send them home.

To see someone like VERA! Who is a powerhouse

of a drag king go home first scares me.

It doesn't matter how good you are.

It doesn't matter how long you've been doing this.

Anyone can be eliminated.

It can almost end just like that.

It could just be something small,

like someone just not understanding your concept.

And it already just feels like

something's missing in the group.

How did it feel for you?

Yeah.

It keeps feeling like this third place,

third from the bottom feeling

that is not making me feel like I'm up to par.

It's not a good feeling, so I need to re-shift my thinking.

Both week one and week two, I just barely made it.

It's lit a fire under my ass.

Like okay, you need to step it up.

The world needs to see what you brought

and you need to bring it big.

- This was outstanding. - Thank you.

- Like, this won the show. - Thank you.

I'm just like, hell yeah.

I put my whole culo up in my drag

and I think the judges saw that.

I put my whole culo in everything I do.

And so I feel validated and I feel seen.

Now that I've broken out of the horror,

I think the judges are really going to be looking

for something from me

and I'm going to just keep on giving it to them.

I'm ready for next week.

I'm going to not panic all day like I did today,

even though I do have a diagnosed anxiety disorder.

O.C.D. representation!

All right, freaks.

Y'all ready to go to bed?

- Yeah. - Fuck yeah.

Let's blow this big top.

What's up, man cave?

Oh my God!

Gong!

- Man! - Hit the gong.

Hit the gong.

- The gong is out. - Bitch, thank God!

I want to give it a big old gong kiss.

I did comedy before I did drag and I love to play.

Play is, like, the most important thing to me.

We need some comedy after last week.

I'm feeling pretty confident.

I am really good at making people laugh.

I got my start in Los Angeles

and just moved back to Chicago about a year ago.

So I feel like the Los Angeles scene really set me up

as an artist and as a performer.

Chicago definitely has, like,

a very big comedy improv scene,

so I've been able to mesh that with my drag,

which has been really fun.

Comedy, huh?

The Dong Show,

that's actually the challenge I'm most nervous about.

Anyone want to have a go?

Because I'm shy and I think public speaking is terrifying.

- Let me try. - Come on, Cyrus.

Yeah, do it.

But I have a whole new mindset.

I'm coming into the challenge

hoping not just to be safe, but to win.

I'm ready. Let's go hard.

Hey, what's up, kings?

Well, I want to address the dong in the room,

but that'll have to wait until a bit later.

Now, this week's theme is something we all need right now,

especially in these dark times.

Socialized healthcare.

- Yes! - Finally.

I'm just kidding.

We couldn't afford that.

The theme is comedy.

This is Chase Lounge's drag.

This is who I am as a drag king.

I think I have a pretty good chance

of winning a weenie challenge again.

Ooh. I am not a comedy king, honey.

I think I'm funny,

and then I think when I get put on the spot,

the improvisation doesn't come easily.

I'm just going to be happy if I make it safe.

In order to explain your Weenie Challenge,

I need some help from someone who puts the LA in laughter.

Sounds like a job for Charles Galin King!

Prima, another prima.

Oh my gosh.

I'm so excited to see Charles.

Coming from the Los Angeles scene,

Charles and I have performed together many times.

He is somebody I look up to so much.

Charles, you made it just in time.

I was just about to tell the kings,

your Weenie Challenge today is...

Clown Car Countdown!

I'm so excited.

I'm wearing my clown sweater.

That could not have been more perfect.

Lolly, brother, I don't know who you paid.

I love you, Lolly, I promise.

Every drag performer knows what it's like

to rush to get ready in the car on the way to the gig.

Oh, my-

Not me, though, not me. I'm on Drag King Time.

We have prepared for each of you

a basket filled with gorgeous e.l.f. cosmetics.

You will have 20 minutes

to put on your best glamour clown beat

while crammed in the van

on a wild ride throughout Los Angeles!

Oh my god!

I've lived in LA. I know how traffic is.

I know how these people drive out here,

but I feel confident.

I've definitely done makeup in the car, on the train,

on the plane, everywhere.

Not a boat yet.

Kings, are you ready to take a spin in the e.l.f. clown car?

- So ready. - Yes. Yes.

Oh, I am so excited.

I know Lolly is the clown king,

but people don't know

that I also do a little bit of clown drag.

I do scary clown. I do silly clown.

I mean, I'm just a little spooky-ooky guy.

Oh my God, this makes me so nostalgic.

One, two, three.

Love live the king!

Come on, my little ducklings.

Let's go hop in the car.

Come on, let's go. Let's go.

Oh shit. Here we go.

Now that you're in,

I leave you in the strong, smooth hands

of your tour guide, Charles Galin King.

You have 20 minutes to complete your glamour clown look.

Oh shit.

I think that I have a pretty steady hand

even when things are shaky and bumpy, so let's go.

- I'm ready. - Here we go!

I'm excited.

But I feel bad for whoever

has to clean up the van after us.

- Your time- - Starts now!

- Everybody's in? - Yay.

Everybody got their makeup?

The e.l.f., eyes, lips, face. Yes.

Yes.

Cue the little, like, rodeo clown music or whatever.

All right, everybody.

If you look to the left,

don't look to the left!

Sometimes you have to do your makeup in crazy situations

in this life that we live as drag performers.

Keep working on your glam clown face, please.

Oh my God!

Lolly is, like, literally a clown.

D. Vour is so good at makeup,

so there's a lot of competition,

but I'm just going to have fun

with whatever e.l.f. products we are blessed with.

Thank you, e.l.f., eyes, lips, face, baby.

So LA has a history of many cars.

We got the Toyota, we got the Honda,

and especially-

Oh, hell no. You playing.

That's a test. That's a test.

I'm shitting myself. I barely know how to do makeup.

I know what blush is and I know what highlighter is.

Maybe some eyeshadow.

Not only that, they decide to put me in a moving vehicle.

Oh, shit!

I'm about to be sick, y'all.

San Antonio roads are just like this.

You're used to this.

This may feel scary for some folks,

but this feels like home to me.

San Antonio, you said Texas?

We got Texas in the house!

I'm kind of inspired by Charles, like his Latin flavors.

And then I think, ding!

Oh my God, the Latin version of, like, clowns.

Very, like, cholo-esque. That's where I need to go.

You want glamour, honey?

I'm going to give you a pink glamour clown.

His name's going to be Papito Cholito, okay?

Now if you look straight ahead,

don't look straight ahead.

And now we stop.

- Whoa. - Oh my God.

Even though I'm always rushing

every single time I have a show,

I refuse to do makeup in the car.

And so I'm actually thinking about Lollygag

and just trying to channel some of the shapes

that I've seen on their face.

We're going to pass by a beautiful apartment complex

where I believe I was mugged once.

Charles is giving the most chaotic tour of Los Angeles.

I'm laughing at him. How am I going to get eyeliner on?

How am I going to get my mustache on?

Oh my fucking God.

It's a lot, but it is a clown car, so.

Clowning. It's about having fun.

Charles screaming at us like a deranged tour guide

is my favorite thing ever.

And we're going to do another left turn.

I am, like, holding on for dear life.

Oh my fucking God.

You start to see products, like, rolling down the aisle

like, oh, someone lost that.

I'm looking at some of my brothers

and they have full white faces on 'em.

I'm like, "Where did you get the white face product?"

Oh my fucking God.

This car ride is fucking insane.

That's what's happening here.

- Ah! Sharp turn! - This is not good.

You know, I'm grabbing anything.

Here's the bump. Ugh.

The camera hits me. I'm like, "What the!"

Do you know the back is so much more bumpy than the front?

Like, have you rode a school bus?

How's your face looking?

Let me see!

Oh my God!

- Are we there yet, Dad? - We got 10!

Nine, eight, seven,

six, five, four,

three, two, one.

Viva e.l.f. Cosmetics!

Just another car ride in LA, I guess.

I need a Zofran after that.

Welcome back, clowns.

It's time to find out who the winner

of this e.l.f.-sponsored Weenie Challenge is.

Everyone else's looks are amazing.

I low-key though I was gonna win

and now I don't know what's gonna happen.

I'm really impressed by Papi Culo's look.

I think they did the most unique look.

And Trade has just every single product on his face.

But he also looks great.

- Charles Galin King. - Yes.

Who did the best glam clown look

that LA traffic has ever seen?

Y'all a bunch of clowns and I love each one of you.

All right.

It's obviously not the cleanest mug ever,

but also, it could be worse.

The two kings that are standing out the most to me

are Papi and Cyrus.

Papi the way your face just is a full blush, that is clown.

- Thank you, ese. - Ese! Primo!

Yes.

Charles saw my vision.

He knew exactly what I'm going for. Feeling really good.

Cyrus, the way your face is not symmetrical at all,

that is also clown.

Winner of the Weenie Challenge is...

Cyrus!

Winning feels great.

Another moment of being able to persevere

and feel like I've still got it

and hopefully show the other kings

that I'm a force to be reckoned with.

- Congratulations, Cyrus. - Thank you very much.

You have won a mega e.l.f. Skin glow drop,

a full routine from cleanse to serum to set

in one ultimate skin-glowing prize

and two VIP tickets

to the legendary queer women's weekend, The Dinah.

Thank you, Charles Galin King.

Now get the e.l.f. out of here.

Goodbye, I love you, good night!

Bye!

Kings, I think you know what's coming.

Your flame-grilled, charbroiled, mouthwatering,

Beefy Challenge

is the Dong Show.

As King of Drag's iconic celebrity talent show.

It's here. The thing I have been most excited for.

We didn't know when it was coming,

but we all knew that it was coming.

There's a joke there.

Your celebrity talent act

should be funny, hilarious, amusing,

and most of all filled with daring,

innovation, creativity,

and charisma, with a K.

I'm frightened. I am not a comedy king.

I haven't really gotten to exercise that bone a lot.

Improv actually horrifies me,

so this is extremely out of my comfort zone.

You have an hour and a half.

And help yourself to some e.l.f. cosmetics and skincare

to really put the shine on that dong.

Circle up.

Long live the kings!

I'll see you at the Dong!

Okay.

- Okay, okay, okay. - Let's get it.

It's the Dong Show.

You're having to do a talent and impersonate somebody.

Then you're also just trying to be funny.

There's a lot going on there.

So how is everyone doing?

Multiple emotions layered like an onion.

I consider myself a very theatrical

and, like, silly king,

but I have a hard time with typical comedy,

so I'm really hoping that, like, what I find silly

is going to translate to the judges.

Yeah, for sure.

When you're in the moment,

especially under those lights and pressure

and, like, next to the judges,

knowing that you're going to get scrutinized

for every single move, it's terrifying.

D. Vour, who are you impersonating?

Mozart.

Oh, that's so good. Oh my God.

You love just old dead white men.

- I play violin and I- - Oh my God.

I don't know.

Mozart felt like the perfect person

to, like, do a caricature of.

I play violin, viola, bass,

guitar, ocarina.

So this is really fun for me,

especially with a character like Mozart.

That's the prodigy right there.

And his work is in the public domain,

so I get to use the songs.

Oh yeah.

That's so funny. How long have you been playing violin?

- Since middle school. - Wow.

So upwards of, like, seven years.

The fact that middle school

was seven years ago for you is psycho.

- Yeah, that's crazy. - Yeah.

I guess we've only really gotten to know

each other's, like, drag versions.

Wait, so what are your pronouns

and your name out of drag?

Do you want to start first

and we can just go down the line?

My name out of drag is Dex,

and I am they/them out of drag.

I asked my parents if I was born male at birth

what they would've named me and they said Dexter.

- Oh, that's cute. - Aw!

And so I said, "Dex it is."

- My name is Siddiq. - It's my chosen name.

- Beautiful, beautiful. - It means friend in Arabic

and honesty in Urdu.

I was like, "I'm finally being honest with myself."

So I named myself Siddiq.

Early Twinka was very much inspired

by South Asian men in my life.

My mom was trying to get me arranged marriage.

I was struggling between not really wanting to be with men,

but also wanting to appease my parents.

So I remember going on these dates

and on the ride home,

taking notes in my phone about, like, their mannerisms.

And it's funny

because it was such a painful time in my life,

but really did set up a lot of my art

and how I present and perform masculinity.

They had no idea.

My name is Simone.

- Oh, that's beautiful. - Ooh.

Thank you. She/they.

My name out of drag is Dakota. He/him all the time.

I'm always Chase.

He/they out of drag.

My name is Miles.

Pronouns are he/they.

My name is Ash.

My pronouns are they,

"ey," which is Spanish for they.

And then I have a neo-pronoun, it's Papi.

I also have a middle initial

that I'm really proud of.

It's B.

B stands for Basilio for my grandfather.

And I feel like if he were alive today,

he would be like, "You go, mije.

You better work.

You better show those putos what's up."

Yes. Yes.

This is the hardest thing I've ever done.

- Who are you doing? - Steve Harvey.

- Period. - Yes!

I'm ready to see that mustache.

We might look a little busted,

but you know, we're working on it.

Yes, it is Johnny Bravo.

I know it doesnt kinda look like it.

I picked Johnny Bravo because I feel like he's wacky

and silly and dumb,

but I'm not a big wig king.

I am challenging myself again,

and so I'm starting to feel the anxiety rise up

for the first time in this entire competition.

You might need to snip snip, like, the actual lace.

Do you want me to do it for you?

Because I can see the whole edge.

You can help me.

I love drag kings for this part.

Okay, this is going to be scary

because some of the hair is going to come off.

- Okay. I trust you. - Okay.

There's no sabotage on "King of Drag," y'all.

- My ear thanks you. - Of course.

Well, let me show you guys my wig

and I don't think you're going to guess who I'm doing.

Guy Fieri.

Wait, I though his name was Guy Fieri.

- He says Fieri. - Fieri. Oh my God.

- Italiano. - Are you Italian?

No, but I studied abroad in Italy.

And I a lot of Italian guys

when I was a girl, so.

You know, some people are comedy kings and some are not.

This is, like, the one thing

that I feel like I avoided practicing,

so I'm nervous.

I'm trying to do a face that's not a white clown face.

I feel like a very different person,

but you know, I think that's the point of this challenge.

I'm going to be Buster Keaton.

- That is so original. - Thank you.

Yes. 1920s silent film star.

I'm feeling nervous.

I'm not entirely sure if everyone will know

who Buster Keaton is,

but I am excited to show the judges

something a little bit different

from what I've brought in the first two weeks.

Honestly, I'm very excited to see how you move,

because, like, I only recently found out

that you're a trained dancer.

- Yeah, yeah. - Literally!

Yeah, that's, like, my background.

So the actual talent will be, like,

the physical comedy.

Chase Lounge is dead.

I fried him up.

This is one of my favorite costumes I brought.

- It's so pretty. - Thank you.

- It's gorgeous. - I made the entire thing.

- Shut the fuck up. - Wow, dude.

It is made from curtains I found from Goodwill

and I dyed the blue.

Is that, like, one of your favorite things about drag,

or, like, what do you- Oh God, yeah.

Conceptualizing and then making something come to life, dog.

It's like a way to get all your inner feelings out

into the world

and, like, express it to other people.

- I'm going to use the e.l.f. - Glow Reviver melting lip balm

in Pink Lemonade.

Am I not white enough?

No, I'm definitely white enough.

I have not tried my wig on yet, but I hope it fits.

Does anyone know how to tie a tie?

This is the second annual edition of "The Dong Show,"

King of Drag's celebrity talent show.

Our celebrity contestants are waiting in the wings

to reveal their hidden talents.

But first, let's meet our esteemed panel of judges.

Our first Mr. Congeniality

and the first one to the snack table,

it's Perka Sexxx.

From jaw-dropping looks to razor-sharp humor, it's Gottmik.

Queer style icon

and the host of Revry original podcast "Mic Drop,"

it's Damian.

Comedy coach, director,

and clown king of season one.

It's Big D!

And finally, an Out 100 honoree,

one of the top comedians in the nation

and the co-host of the GLAAD-nominated podcast

"The Daily Beans,"

it's Dana Goldberg.

King Perk, what are you looking for

from the performers tonight?

Well, I'm looking for obscure references

- and I'm looking to laugh. - Let's hope.

Gottmik, what about you?

So I love impersonating celebrities.

It's really important to show who you are

through the celebrity.

Who are you best at impersonating?

Probably Paris Hilton, like, loves it.

- Oh my God. - Yes.

Big D. I want to give you your laurels.

You look great.

Stop it.

Now, you had one of the top acts on your season.

This is actually the Sylvester Stallone wig backwards.

- Transformation. - Incredible.

How are you feeling

about what you're going to see tonight?

I'm looking for a really satisfying concept.

It's surprising, but also cohesive and stupid.

Damian.

I'm looking for something

that I didn't see last season.

Dana?

I want to see some entertainment.

Just commit to the bit.

Well, we all think we know celebrities,

but tonight their secrets will be revealed.

Their secret talents, that is.

Let's meet our celebrity guests.

From vaudeville to the "King of Drag" stage,

it's Buster Keaton.

You're a silent film guy.

How does it feel to finally be heard?

Oh, I see you fell down off the side a little bit.

You're doing physical hijinks.

I can't speak.

I'm going to have to communicate fully with my body

or my little dialogue cards.

And there's a potential for the dialogue cards

to make absolutely no fucking sense.

Representing Flavortown, it's Guy Fieri.

Schlamma-lamma-ding-dong!

Talk me through your favorite way

to make a grilled cheese.

Mayo, ketchup, harvati.

I think it's havarti.

Havarti.

I'll give you a full basket of fries after this.

There we go.

He's got the body of a rock and the brain of one too.

It's Johnny Bravo.

Johnny, how are you going to make the judges

fall in love tonight?

They're already a little, mi mama.

How do you get the hair?

How do you get the volume?

I just woke up like this, baby.

Johnny Bravo would be a short king.

I feel like he's the original himbo.

I do take myself too seriously,

so I think he's helping me break out of that.

Watch out. He'll shag you.

It's Austin Powers.

Austin, I hope you don't mind me asking.

Do I make you horny, baby?

You make me randy, baby. Yeah!

How's the chest hair these days?

- You wanna braid it? - Not once.

Here's a dude who brings the feud.

It's Steve Harvey!

How you doing?

If you take a poll of your former partners,

what would be the number one answer

for what it's like to be with you?

You know, when they touch this mustache,

they grow hair all over.

I've never heard of that power before.

Only I can do it.

For the first time this century, it's Mozart.

- Hallo! - Mozart,

what's your opinion on today's pop music?

Like, like.

It's not like that.

Well, sometimes it is, sure.

Perhaps you'll have to show me later, ja?

- I could show you. - Show me? Ah!

I could show you too.

I may not know Spanish,

but we could do a menage a trois.

I, I speak German.

He's bad. It's Michael Jackson.

Mike- Hoo!

Who do you think made a bigger impact on music,

you or Mozart?

I love music. I love, I love music.

I have a deep appreciation for Mozart.

- Well, thank you for that. - That's our panel of contestants.

Are you ready to see some talent?

Let's dong!

First up, please welcome to the stage Johnny Bravo.

- Period. Let's go, mama. - Yeah, baby. Yeah!

Knowing that I was the winner last week,

I do feel like the judges are expecting a lot out of me.

Name's Johnny Bravo.

Professional heartbreaker and pretty boy.

And I'm here to share the art of the,

Perfect pose.

This one's called the Culo Crusher.

I know you want to see it in reverse.

Oh, yeah, baby!

I would eat that up like a burger.

My favorite, of course, is the Ay, Papi!

- Johnny! - Now why is a man

wearing a bra?

Hey, we go both ways, honey.

It may take some muscles to make a man,

but it's also about the presentation.

Y'all want something sexy?

'Cause I also do some dirty stuff too.

And I don't know what that is.

Hey, tios, this is not safe for TV.

And that's the dong.

You look good up there.

I know I do.

I feel like we have a lot in common.

Bicep size. Can I get those one more time?

- Huh! - Oh yeah, baby!

You know what?

I have not been flexing my biceps from the front enough.

I can show you a little later if you like, mama.

Well, thank you, Johnny Bravo.

I feel like I got a couple of little laughs,

but I'm not sure if it landed well.

Yes!

Next up, it's Buster Keaton.

Is he going to bust a nut?

I like this song.

I am so thrilled that Big D is a judge

because if anyone understands who Buster Keaton is,

it's Big D.

Being Buster Keaton, the silent film star,

I am choosing to not speak,

and now I'm interested in seeing

how much I can communicate with the judges

without using any words.

The Heimlich.

- Oh, man. - He's bald just like you.

Did he do that?

Ole!

Who's gonna clean that up?

And that's the dong!

Yeah, baby!

Thank you, Buster Keaton.

What is your favorite thing about being a performer?

Well, thank you, Buster Keaton.

Slay that, baby.

Next to the stage, we have Austin Powers.

- Oh, wow. Here we go. - Wow.

Hi, baby. I'm Austin Power, baby.

Austin Power Bottom.

What is this? Dr. Evil?

He's released an anti-horny, anti-LGBT serum

into the atmosphere?

Kings, court, America. The world's gone straight.

I must make a shagadelic liberation cocktail

to save the gay kind.

Save us!

I'm feeling really confident.

I'm feeling like I'm really getting the accent down,

and I'm so excited to see Dana.

I hope that she likes my performance.

I need to bring the heat.

So let's get started, right?

We're going to have a lemon.

We got a little bit of bitterness that we're going to put in

for all those fuckers that said that we're too much, baby.

And then we're going to get a little bit of bourbon,

you know?

Gay rights, baby. Yeah.

And then we got to do something a little sweet.

Let's do chosen family there, baby.

Aw.

And then we're going to add ice.

And you know what, America?

Why don't we go ahead and just abolish that shit?

Shake it up, baby. Yeah!

Yeah!

Shagadelic, baby.

I've always been too gay to function,

but never too groovy to fail.

We made a gay liberation, baby. Yeah!

Thank you, Austin Powers.

Now let me ask, who are you dating these days?

Oh, hopefully you, baby.

I'm married in a monogamous relationship with my wife.

- Monogamous? - Yeah.

This is the '60s. Who's that?

Austin, you are too much.

Oh, coming from you, sugar?

- I'll see you later. - Thank you, Austin.

See you later.

Yeah, baby! Yeah!

Give it up for Guy Fieri.

- Yeah! Yeah! - Brother, put some pants on.

I am so excited for this challenge,

but I'm also feeling nervous.

I am taking a huge risk

because I'm the only one who is doing an impression

that is really my take on the character.

Everyone else is giving a true take on the character,

and it's either going to pay off

or I'm going to be in the bottom two again.

Hi, I'm Guy Fieri,

and this is my new show, "Confessional Cake Wrestling,"

the show where I confess to my homosexual wanderings

and wrestle a cake,

because that's manly,

just like sex with other men.

- Let's roll out. - Let's do this.

This is my 1965 Camaro.

- That ain't a Mustang. - You have a horse?

Popped? More like chopped.

I think it would have been wise

to have bought a tarp and a cake

and have practiced this at home,

but that's not what I did.

So we're going to see how it goes.

Whiz bang wham.

Gordon Ramsey got me pregnant in 2013

and wanted to keep the baby

and start a new life in Flavortown.

But I got an abortion.

Fund Planned Parenthood.

Abortion rights for all.

Yeah, baby.

I put the top in "Top Chef."

Okay.

Spice is nothing to me.

I took one look at Emeril's thing

and I said, "That is going to kill my mouth."

The Cake Boss and I explored each other's bodies.

- Are you okay, brother? - This has been

"Confessional Cake Wrestling."

Guy, and if I'm coming over to your place,

who's on the menu?

- This is the menu. - That's the whole menu?

Can I order off menu?

- You can order right here. - Okay.

I will definitely be doing that.

Consider this my reservation.

That is so funny, but if we're judging improv...

We'll be back right after this commercial break.

Keep your hands off that dong.

Ding dong. We're back, folks.

Put your hands together for Michael Jackson.

Go get that dong, MJ.

Hi everyone. I'm Michael.

Let's Jacks-ercise.

Put your hand right here.

Youre gonna contract, release.

Contract, release.

How's it feel? You feel it?

Yes, baby! We're feeling it!

For my talent, I'm doing jazzercise,

so just pure method acting.

I don't do it often, but I don't want to lose this.

So Trade's gone.

Internally just, like,

trying to bring that comedy side out of me.

Next is the Billie Jean beat, all right?

In, then out. We're going to pick up this pace.

Oh my God.

So good.

- You feel that? - Yeah!

You feel it? Go on, girl!

You feel it?

Yeah!

- On your toes. - Just watch, kings.

- Yes, baby. - Oh, my.

Oh, I'm feeling the burn, okay?

Let's pick it up, though.

You ready? Watch carefully.

Try it without the noise now.

- Hee! Hee! - I like the view.

You feel this in your glutes and in your calves.

All right.

Woo!

Mr. Jackson, wow. I mean, you must be out of breath.

- I just hate the tour. - I go through hell.

I go through hell.

Do you feel like...

your reputation is- My reputation?

I mean, you're the King of Pop. We know that.

Yeah. What's the question?

- Thank you, Mr. Jackson. - Yeah, baby.

You killed it, baby.

Oh, come on!

Let's hear some applause for Mozart.

Hallo, everyone.

Welcome into a very special private rehearsal session

where I will be composing a brand new symphony!

Nobody alive right now has ever met Mozart.

So I feel like I can make a bunch of stuff up

and have fun with it.

- That's a sexy instrument. - That a ukulele?

That wasn't right.

It's missing something.

- Soul. - Flavor.

I know just the thing!

It's a kazoo out of my dick.

Herr Jackson, what do you call this?

Hoo-hoo!

Yes!

Yeah, baby.

I want you all in the VIP section

at my next concerto, ja?

- Wow. - You like that?

Mozart, that was something else.

Thank you. Thank you.

I will write you an original, ja?

Yeah, you better write me an original.

Would you like a personal backstage pass to the concerto?

- Yeah. I mean- - I can give you a serenade.

Well, thank you, Mozart. Incredible job.

And finally, please welcome to the stage Steve Harvey.

Where the music, production? Come on now.

I pay y'all a lot of money.

Welcome to "The Steve Harvey Show."

We got a good show for y'all today, folks.

I have been told that I have a sense of humor

when I'm hosting,

but this feels like standup comedy.

This is new territory.

To be funny on command, I think, is hard.

Here's how we're going to take a lady on a nice picnic date.

The answer on the board is S-T-E-V-E.

Love.

The S stands for suit.

Now, a lady likes plaid.

Make sure you got that plaid suit, okay?

- Oh, he's smooth. - He's so smooth.

She also likes some plaid here. All right, just like that.

Make sure you also give her

her own little tiny blanket, right?

Because a lady likes to feel safe and confined.

For her right there.

Now the T stands for "think like a lady."

Y'all following along?

- Yes. - All right.

The E stands for environment.

We got to set the tone.

Now ladies deal with a whole lot of pests,

especially from the King's Court, you know what I mean?

So what we're going to do

is spray them fucking pests away.

All right.

We're going to cover that smell up

because a lady likes to smell what a man smells like.

So we're going to go ahead and cover that bug spray up

with a nice little scent of cologne.

The fumes are intoxicating.

The V stands for vessel,

not what you're thinking, Gottmik.

The V stands for vessel.

What we got right here, camera, zoom in.

Come on, production.

We got a nice little...

That's the dong.

Steve. Steve, over here.

- Steve! - Over here, Steve.

- I'm the host. - Now you did...

Steve?

Who hired this one?

Steve, I was actually going to say

it seemed like you didn't get to your E.

You want to know what that is?

We're talking. I'm over here.

We're talking.

I got to say, I...

Steve.

She likes them smooth too, brothers. You know what I mean?

- Steve, I swear to God. - And white.

- For you, mama, look. - I swear to God, Steve.

I got you your own vessel right there now.

Oh, y'all want to see up close?

That's for you, baby.

That's for you.

Oh, it's a tiny, tiny glass of wine.

Okay?

That's for you, darling. Now look.

Come on. Ain't she fine, y'all?

What were you saying?

I'll give it to you. Come on, now.

I was just going to say, Steve.

- What you got for me? - Wow, Steve. Wow, Steve.

Look at us now, Steve.

- Steve, are you kidding? - You see this hairline?

- Come on. - I don't know!

Got that fresh shave.

You know what? I think I am great with women.

I think they look great-

We don't talk that gay shit up in here.

- Steve! - Just taking over.

I honestly have never felt more rattled.

You want to join me?

Well, thank you, Steve Harvey.

Anytime, baby.

Thus concludes the "Dong Show."

Don't let the dong hit you on the way out.

Welcome back, kings.

The Kings' Court has deliberated and made some decisions.

Perka Sexxx, is anyone safe this week?

Yes.

The Kings' Court has decided

the two safe kings of this week are...

Chase Lounge and Lollygag.

- Thank you. - I'm happy to be safe,

but I'm honestly gagged that I'm not in the top.

I low-key thought I was going to be in the bottom,

so I'm very thankful to be safe.

The rest of you represent the tops

and bottoms of the week.

It's now time for feedback.

Let's begin with Papi Culo.

I could see some things didn't go as planned,

but you were able to work with it.

There was just a couple of fine details

that could have elevated the comedy level of the skit.

Just, like, doing some more makeup on the chest plate,

but this was great and you should be proud of yourself.

Thank you. Thank you.

The look wasn't perfectly, like, Johnny Bravo,

but you were kind of sticking to

what Johnny Bravo was saying.

And I think when you're doing a figure that doesn't exist,

you either go ham in one way or stick to it,

so when you're somewhere in the middle,

it just kind of gets lost.

This is tough.

This is a tough one for me.

I had the capability of doing well, but it didn't happen.

But I feel like Cameron and I

had some really good bantering,

so hopefully that'll save me.

Twinka Masala, or should I say Austin Powers?

One of the things I noticed was your accent changed a lot,

and so that was hard for me

to stay in the Austin Powers moment.

I feel like you took Austin Powers

and you recontextualized it

and you made it about queer family,

and there was something really nice about that.

I think it's about choice in terms of, like,

you're choosing a guy who's already a comedy character,

so somebody has done this really, really well.

It's a tough choice.

Thank you.

This was definitely a little out of my comfort zone.

I did choose a very funny, big character.

And with that, you got to really bring it

and I could have broughten it higher and bigger.

Trade. Or is it Michael Jackson?

- I'm the real Michael, yes. - I loved this.

I mean, you kept in character.

Your dance moves were fabulous. The outfit is amazing.

I mean, even right now standing here,

the little Michael Jackson quips, this physicality,

I can't stop laughing at you

and I can't stop looking

at this amazing performance you did tonight.

- Thank you so much. - I love the stage.

This is where I'm most comfortable.

You showed us a talent,

but also you gave us a story while showing us a talent

that you have and possess,

so this was great.

You found a way to show who you were

and also find a way to expand yourself,

which is what this competition is about.

To be completely honest,

I'm known as, like, just a body king.

I'm more than my body and I have a lot, you know, to give.

I'm very versatile, so that's what I'm trying to show,

and I'm glad that it's being seen

because I'm trying to avoid

just being in this box of sex appeal.

It is hard for me to get out of this box

that not only have I created for myself,

but the audience is so used to for me.

So I feel like I'm stuck there sometimes.

I see you and you are very seen in this moment.

I appreciate you so much. That feels amazing.

Hee-hee!

D. Vour. Or should I say Mozart?

- Hallo! - Big D.

When you played the kazoo and the fiddle

at the same time,

that was really powerful.

I was super into that.

You're such a theatrical, amazing performer.

Obviously, you know how to play the violin,

and this is a talent show.

You almost went.

It's like, here's my box that I can riff off of,

and it felt like you were in this box

and you weren't down to bounce off and go out of that.

You're incredibly talented.

I just wish there was a little bit more of you,

not just the accent being the comedy forward.

Finding jokes based on maybe Mozart's life,

I think maybe would've resonated.

I had other jokes in there,

but when I was on stage,

the timer was just counting down so quickly,

I had to skip most of my jokes.

And I thought that I hit the right ones,

but I guess I didn't.

- And finally, Cyrus K. - Stratton or my nemesis.

Perka Sexxx,

how could you possibly support this man?

This was the best portrayal

of Black toxic masculinity I have ever seen,

and I have a father.

- What? - Thank you.

This is a comedy challenge and you nailed it.

Thank you.

You kept the bit. You made us laugh.

This is the confidence we have been looking for,

and I was, like, mind freaking blown.

Keep this up,

and you will be a force to be reckoned with

in this competition.

I feel really proud of my performance.

Made me feel bold and sort of in charge of the space,

and I think that was the boost of energy that I needed.

Kings, please head back to the man cave

while the court deliberates.

Gentlemen, we have some hard decisions to make.

We have to choose a winner

and we have to send two kings into the Final Thrust.

Let's talk about our favorite.

Survey says Cyrus.

That's right.

It was before the bit started

and when the bit ended that really had me.

The bit was funny, but it was the commentary

with Cameron going back and forth and banter.

It was improv comedy at its finest.

I couldn't agree more.

Absolutely hit it out of the park.

A plus for me. Let's talk about Trade.

Listen,

the idea of Michael Jackson being a fitness instructor

in and of itself is hilarious.

Our biggest laughs in the room

were when he was really investing very deeply

in the physicality.

Agreed.

Like when he really went so far

that it was just, like,

that's just a tiny bit out of control.

He's so good at impersonating Michael Jackson

physically, doing the moves.

So good.

This is, like, the hardest part,

but we need to talk about some of our bottom kings.

Normally I don't have a problem with a bottom king

if I can be a top queen.

What are we feeling about Twinka Masala?

Just, like, the wrong choice.

Like, you don't pick Mike Myers.

I agree with you.

If you're going to pick Austin Powers,

you've got to nail Austin Powers.

I know Twinka has that spark and that energy to bring it.

They are brilliant at taking something

that they believe in

and bringing it into their art

in such a nuanced, amazing way.

But when they got this challenge,

I think they just were like,

"He's funny. I'll do my lines.

I'm going to be safe."

I was trying to be, like, creative

and actually have a storyline,

and, like, my art is always political,

so I tried to make it political.

What did we think about D. Vour?

I mean, unbelievable costume.

I mean, the construction, the look was lovely.

I think they chose something really hard

with both the kazoo and the violin

and, like, character and an accent and, and, and.

The kazoo was funny.

Acting as Mozart, the little bits,

the side banter was perfect.

Just when it got down to it,

like, there could have been a bit more imagination.

Right. There's this idea of point of view, right?

It's like, what are you doing with this character?

Like what is Mozart's point of view?

I'm just so frustrated.

I feel like the judges aren't understanding

anything I'm putting on stage,

and I put so much of my heart and soul

into every one of these looks, including this one.

And so that's just kind of heartbreaking.

It just, it really fucking hurts.

I enjoy being the token little goth guy, you know,

but old feelings that I have felt in my life

are kind of resurfacing right now,

and I am feeling really left out.

As, you know, a weird kid,

I would, like, be so inspired all the time

and I would create costumes.

I would draw, I would paint, I would sculpt.

I made this costume entirely head to toe.

I thought it was clever.

I thought I played with the character well

and I thought I did good improv-ing with you guys.

And it just feels like

I am just throwing all these things at the judges

and nothing is sticking

and I'm starting to feel really unseen and misunderstood.

Let's talk about Papi Culo.

It was definitely, for me, the weakest link.

The challenge was about comedy and I didn't really laugh.

I think one of the things that they did well, the flexing,

it was so animated and like an action figure.

It was very quick movements,

and I though that was a really good characterization

they did of Johnny Bravo.

They did stay in character,

but it's just,

the performance itself was a little one-note.

There were some nice moments and nice possibilities,

but it just felt ultimately like a script

that maybe we stuck to a little too firmly.

Okay. Well, this is a really hard decision to make.

Are we all in agreement?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Kings, welcome back.

The time has come to name the winner

of this week's episode.

Gottmik.

Trade, I loved your Michael Jackson.

Your improv was amazing.

Your natural confidence

really set you over the top this week.

Thank you so much.

Oh my goodness.

Being in the top after bottoming so hard the first week,

now I am topping like a beast.

Cyrus, you absolutely embodied

every single part of this challenge.

I didn't even know what was going on with your picnic

and I did not care.

You absolutely slayed it this week.

Thank you.

We have decided

that the winner of this week is...

Cyrus K. Stratton.

Congratulations, Cyrus K. Stratton.

Harvey.

Congratulations, Mr. Harvey.

- Thank you. - You are currently

first in line for the throne.

I'm elated.

I feel like I finally deserve to be here

and kind of surprising,

because this was the one

that I was terrified over,

but it felt good.

Felt good to win.

You know, I wanted to win the challenge,

but I'm not going to lie,

Steve Harvey, he controlled that set.

It was a journey, but I feel so good.

Now the part I don't love.

Which kings are in danger of leaving this week, Big D?

Papi Culo, I'm intrigued by you. I'm entranced by you.

I think tonight,

this one maybe just wasn't fully your night.

It just maybe didn't go far enough

and you didn't get the laughs we needed.

I knew I was going to be in the bottom.

It was really hard feedback to hear,

especially having such a strong week last week.

I feel like I let them down.

Twinka, I really appreciate your theatricality

and, like, the subtlety and artistry of your message.

I think we just maybe didn't feel like

it came together as a comedy.

I think doing Austin Powers

is a big meatball to chew, right?

I'm so genuinely confused and shocked

that I'm in the bottom

because I wasn't stalling in any of my improvisation,

so I feel like I'm safe.

D. Vour, it's just so beautiful to look at you.

We though your fiddle and kazoo

was just so punk and so rock.

We just maybe wish we had laughed a bit more

or that it got, you know, crazier.

I've been having to step out of my comfort zone,

which is what the competition is for,

but I am not done fighting.

We have decided. It sucks.

D. Vour,

you are safe.

I'm so grateful to keep going.

I'm still holding onto that truck, right?

I'm scraping my knees on the concrete,

but here at the bottom,

there's nowhere else to go but up.

Y'all, I was in the bottom for most of my season.

Just because you're in the bottom once, twice,

doesn't mean you're not a star, okay?

Papi, Twinka.

You are both in the bottom

and will now face off in the Final Thrust.

I am surprised that Twinka is with me.

We both have so much more to show.

Damn.

I don't feel like I deserve to be here.

I feel more frustrated that I have to go against Papi

because I really love and respect him.

Your Final Thrust challenge is "Him-fluencer."

Each of you will be presented with a set of mystery objects

and a surprise tutorial prompt.

You must improvise a 90-second social media-style tutorial

mansplaining your assigned topic.

Your explanation must be funny,

but it doesn't have to be correct.

Goodness knows, men are often wrong.

I'm feeling really anxious and stressed,

but I also do think I do well under pressure.

I'm not necessarily feeling fear.

I'm feeling a fire to continue to fight,

and I am going to continue to fight.

Our bottom kings,

Papi Culo and Twinka Masala,

must now perform the Final Thrust.

By luck of the draw,

Twinka Masala has been chosen to go first.

The challenge is to mansplain something,

so I'm really tapping into all of the shitty men

that have ever mansplained something to me.

Twinka Masala, please mansplain how to change a tire.

You have 90 seconds and your time starts now.

I'm no longer Austin Powers. I am a fuckboy.

All right, so say you're stranded on the side of the road

and you got to fix your tire,

you got to find the knob.

And you know what? I always know where that knob is.

Trust me, yeah.

Like, I always hit this spot real good.

I think it's, like, somewhere down here,

like maybe somewhere in here,

like this nonstop.

So then you use this tool,

which is called a wrench,

and you don't spit on it.

Don't even put any lube on it.

Just stick it right on there.

You know, there might not be a "Tss" or a "Ugh,"

but you know what?

Just keep going.

So then you take this thing,

which mine's bigger, trust me.

And then you jam it in as hard as you fucking can

and you're grunting and you're just,

oh my God, yeah.

And then you're good to go on your way

to go, like, shopping or whatever the fuck you do, you know,

just fucking have a good old time.

Is that exactly how you would do it, Cameron?

What?

Because you're so femme presenting.

Jesus Christ,

my mom's going to kill me when she sees that.

I cannot believe I just did that on TV.

Violated that tire.

Please now welcome Papi Culo.

Whatever they're going to give me for this final thrust,

I am determined to, like, break through

and just let it go.

Papi Culo,

please now mansplain how to catch a fish.

You have 90 seconds.

Hey there, social media.

You know, they say if you teach a man to fish,

he'll be eating for sometime, something.

I don't know.

I don't know.

But we got something here.

Hey, these are my little tassels that I found.

Look at these little tassels here.

I think these fish like it. Okay, there you go.

And we got some little bobbing things.

I think the fishies are really into this as well.

I don't know what it is. Maybe, I'm not sure here.

But this, this,

this is what you need to really get that fish.

And then we're going to,

you're just going to cast that ho

all the way as far as you can.

It's going to be great. I promise.

I promise. Y'all got, you know.

Look, listen, I'm a professional, okay?

Listen, it's all in this.

The hip.

That's how you catch a fish.

I definitely was not mentally prepared

for this Final Thrust challenge.

There was a lot there.

It just could have been done differently.

Great job, kings.

I feel truly under the him-fluence.

Court, what say you?

The king's court has come to a unanimous decision.

The king we are choosing

to keep in the competition is...

Twinka Masala.

Thank you guys so much.

I'm trying really hard to be happy

and excited that I'm still in the competition.

It's just, I really didn't want to send Papi home.

Papi Culo, I'm sorry, but you have been eliminated.

You're a true competitor,

and thank you for having so much fun with us.

Thank you. Thank you.

I'm incredibly proud of myself,

the time and the effort and the ability just to go for this.

There's nothing I needed to change.

Kings, bring it in.

Papi, please take a knee.

I dub thee an honorary member

of the "King of Drag" family.

We always got your back, all right?

I'm so grateful and I realize the importance

of why I'm here for non-binary individuals,

non-binary kings, not having a place.

My hopes that me being here

and doing so, so authentically,

I hope that inspires people

they can do anything they want.

Papi Culo, do you have any parting words?

Mi gente,

thank you for being always supportive of my drag

and all non-binary kings.

For every person that is scared

to be their authentic selves,

there is no need to be afraid.

Be yourself, love yourself,

and shake your culo while you do it.

I know this is not the last of me.

This is just the first amazing chapter

of this new book that I've started.

Papi Culo, please pack your packer and head home.

- Ay, Papi! - Papi!

Superstar.