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1
00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:05,806
Hey, Joshie.
2
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:09,543
Listen, Fran, why
don't we paint the den
Navajo white
3
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,044
instead of pale adobe?
4
00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:11,945
It costs a lot less.
5
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:16,149
Because adobe says,
"Sit down, relax.
6
00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:17,618
Make yourself
comfortable."
7
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:22,488
Navajo says,
"Colonoscopy,
third floor."
8
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:24,691
You know, I have
a major midterm
9
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:25,626
and I'm trying
to study.
10
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:27,628
Well, why don't you
study in your room?
11
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,295
I can't. The paint's
still wet
12
00:00:29,295 --> 00:00:30,531
and it gets
all over everything.
13
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,733
You didn't touch
the walls, did you?
14
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,701
No.
15
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:39,573
You know,
maybe you're right
about the adobe.
16
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,374
Now that I see it
on Josh,
17
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,544
I don't love it.
18
00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:50,684
But I do have something
that I am gonna love.
19
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:51,685
What did you do?
20
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,720
Well, just
a little something.
21
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,457
I never got you anything
for our anniversary.
22
00:00:57,457 --> 00:00:58,559
Hmm. A leather coat?
23
00:00:58,559 --> 00:00:59,459
All I got you
was flowers.
24
00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:02,095
Uh‐uh. You got me
beautiful gold earrings,
25
00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:04,598
which I'll show you later.
26
00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:07,668
Babe, I don't
need this.
27
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,135
I already have
a leather coat.
28
00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:10,336
Well, so?
29
00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:11,271
I've got
a pair of shoes,
30
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:16,810
but I have 200 others
to keep them company.
31
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,245
But I work on
construction sites
all day.
32
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:20,747
I'd only ruin
something like this.
33
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:23,183
But I appreciate
the thought.
34
00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:24,651
I'll take it back.
35
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:27,788
I guess I could
buy some more
anniversary presents.
36
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:31,257
Oh, how you spoil me.
37
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,594
(doorbell rings)
38
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,629
Hi.
Hey, Meryl.
39
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:36,530
Hi, cousin.
40
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:39,499
Franny, why aren't
you dressed for the gym?
41
00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:40,400
Meryl, I told you.
42
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,869
I'm not going back
to that spin class.
43
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:44,771
Last time we were there,
my spandex rode up
44
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:48,809
in places my
gynecologist hasn't
even been.
45
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:50,911
But we have to go.
46
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:54,915
New York Magazine says
it's a great place
to meet men.
47
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:57,283
Yeah, so is Attica.
48
00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:00,521
And I'm sure
the prison guards there
are easier on you
49
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:04,658
than that
tina the spin Nazi.
50
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:05,826
Studying.
51
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:09,162
That's okay, honey,
you're not bothering us.
52
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:11,497
Anyway, I don't need
to find a man.
53
00:02:11,497 --> 00:02:12,833
My work is done.
54
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:13,700
(chuckles)
55
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,368
But you're my coach.
56
00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:16,903
You know, she can
take one look
57
00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:18,505
and instantly point
out all the rejects.
58
00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:22,175
Married, gay,
still lives
with his mother.
59
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,611
Sorry, Josh.
60
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:25,512
It's okay, Meryl.
61
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:27,213
It's not like I'm gonna
live here forever.
62
00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:28,414
That's true.
Some day, he and ma,
63
00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:32,252
they're gonna find
a nice little place
of their own.
64
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:33,987
Don't worry, Allison,
65
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:37,924
you and your parole officer
will always be welcome.
66
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,894
Well, I'm going
to the gym anyway,
67
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,328
and if I pick out
the wrong guy,
68
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,264
it's gonna be
on your head.
69
00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:45,031
Yeah, yeah.
70
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:46,867
Well, what are
you gonna do later?
71
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:49,870
Do you wanna come back
and watch a movie
with me and Riley?
72
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,806
Nah. No one wants to be
a third wheel.
73
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:55,208
It'd be different
if you were dead
74
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:56,543
and Riley was all alone.
75
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:59,980
But...It'd be weird
with you here.
76
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,282
Yeah. okay.
77
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:03,550
Love ya, cuz.
78
00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:04,551
Bye, Riley.
79
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:05,919
Bye, Meryl.
80
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:09,355
I wish we could find
someone for her to date.
81
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,858
Don't you have
any guys you could
hook her up with?
82
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,994
Honey, I'm
an interior decorator.
83
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:17,330
All the guys I know
date each other.
84
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,000
Don't you know someone?
85
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:24,204
Come on, Fran.
All my friends
are too young.
86
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:28,909
How about Danny?
87
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,977
Oh, well, that's
not a bad call.
88
00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:34,347
I mean, he's
good‐looking,
he's got a good job.
89
00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:36,983
So what would
be the downside?
90
00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:40,987
Could it be
his pregnant wife?
91
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:42,455
They're divorced.
92
00:03:42,455 --> 00:03:43,957
She ran off
with the Lamaze coach.
93
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:46,960
Oh, that's too bad
for him,
94
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:47,728
but good for us.
95
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,263
I mean, if Meryl and him
get along,
96
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:52,666
we'd have a couple
that was just like us.
97
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:56,603
We could create them
in our own image.
98
00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:59,372
Come on, Fran, let's not
get carried away.
99
00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:00,941
Well, I'm just saying.
100
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,677
All of my friends
call you a phase.
101
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,946
And all of your friends...
102
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:08,949
Well, what do they call me?
103
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,918
Mrs. Reeves.
104
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:15,255
We definitely
need new friends.
105
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,960
♪ And I ♪
106
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,928
♪ Feel beautiful
right now ♪
107
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,931
♪ For the first time
in a long time ♪
108
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:28,034
♪ I'm letting my hair down ♪
109
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:30,036
♪ And life ♪
110
00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:32,305
♪ Gets better every day ♪
111
00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:34,941
♪ Though it seems
so complicated ♪
112
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,510
♪ We're gonna work it out ♪
113
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:39,813
♪ Whatever comes our way ♪
114
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:50,657
Hi, Josh.
Hey, Becca.
115
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:00,734
Why are you
staring at me?
116
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:01,602
Your hair.
117
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:05,005
Usually dandruff's
kind of gross, but...
118
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:10,777
Yours just looks
like beautiful snowflakes.
119
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,947
Actually, it's‐‐
it's just paint chips.
120
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:17,050
Could I pick them out
for you?
121
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,753
Allison,
your friend's here!
122
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:20,687
Am I bothering you, Josh?
123
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:21,655
I mean, I know you have
a lot of work to do,
124
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,889
so if you want me
to be quiet, I'll be quiet.
125
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:25,859
My parents used to make
me play the quiet game
all the time,
126
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,461
so I'm really good
at staying quiet.
127
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:29,963
Great.
128
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:33,433
Wanna know
how I do it?
129
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:34,801
I hold my breath.
130
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:36,570
I don't like hold hold
my breath,
131
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:37,571
'cause then I could
like die,
132
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,973
but I just take
tiny little breaths
like this.
133
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:46,947
Becca, honey, you left
your self‐respect
in my room.
134
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,415
You wanna go get it?
135
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:51,985
Okay, okay. Fine.
136
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:54,621
Bye, Josh.
137
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:57,490
I am so sorry,
but trying to keep her
away from you
138
00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:59,560
is like trying to keep
a fly off‐‐
139
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,061
well, you know.
140
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:02,929
Yeah, well, you
gotta try harder,
141
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:06,132
'cause she lookin' at me
like mom looks at Riley,
142
00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:09,469
or pound cake.
143
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,705
Why don't you do
what mom's doing
with cousin Meryl
144
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:12,573
and find her somebody.
145
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,608
I can't. She compares
everybody do you.
146
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:21,447
The other day she said,
"Shaquille O'Neal is
a 7‐foot black Josh."
147
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:24,985
You know, I have a friend
at work, Ben,
148
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,019
who has a younger brother.
149
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,854
I mean, he's not
exactly me‐‐
150
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:29,623
Perfect.
151
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,491
Hey, if he is half
the man you are,
152
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:35,529
well then, he'll be
a quarter of a man.
153
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:39,966
So you set me up
with a guy
154
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,002
whose wife left him
for her Lamaze coach?
155
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:46,607
What's the matter?
Couldn't find any
serial killers?
156
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,009
It wasn't his fault.
157
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,144
Her lamaze coach
was a woman.
158
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,046
Oh...
159
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:53,914
That's better.
160
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,916
Not only does he fail
at relationships,
161
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,952
but he also turns
women gay.
162
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,822
So, what'd you say
about me?
163
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,557
You didn't tell him
that I had kids, did you?
164
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:07,961
Yeah, but I told him
that they weren't
a priority.
165
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:12,198
Riley, all I can say is
if this one goes gay,
166
00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:14,434
I know it's me.
167
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,572
Hey, Josh.
Remember me? Danny?
168
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:20,807
Yeah, yeah.
The light bulb salesman.
169
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:23,544
No, not light bulbs,
fixtures.
170
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:24,210
Whatever.
171
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:26,947
No, not whatever.
172
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,483
It's fixtures, bro.
173
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:32,452
Okay.
174
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,089
So, wanna go see
the ladies?
175
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,558
What should I say to her?
176
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:38,491
Compliment her.
177
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,561
Say something like,
"You can't be Meryl.
178
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:43,063
You must be
her daughter."
179
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,097
You got to stay close, man.
180
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:47,133
I'm gonna need some more
of these tips.
181
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,169
Oh, hi, honey.
182
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:51,204
Hey, ladies.
Hi, Danny.
183
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,106
This is my cousin Meryl.
184
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,708
Oh, you can't be Meryl.
185
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:58,178
You got to be
Meryl's sister.
186
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,883
Daughter, moron.
187
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:06,953
Yeah, I mean daughter.
188
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,055
It's all right.
You were right
the first time.
189
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,257
Actually,
my sister's gorgeous.
190
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:12,158
Oh, really?
191
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,628
I'd like to meet her.
192
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:18,632
In addition
to other family members.
193
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:24,104
Okay. Well, you know,
before we fire up the grill
194
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:24,838
and have dinner,
195
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,040
why don't we have
a little wine?
196
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:30,911
This way we can all
say stupid stuff.
197
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,683
He's really cute.
Yeah.
198
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,118
And he's got
a nice laugh,
199
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:41,321
even with the wine
coming out of his nose.
200
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:42,488
Oh, Meryl.
201
00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:46,059
Remember the old days
when we used to go out
as couples?
202
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:46,893
Oh, yeah.
203
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,695
Well, this will be
so much better.
204
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:49,896
Now, instead
of our husbands,
205
00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:54,968
we're gonna go home
with guys we really want
to sleep with.
206
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,137
Hee hee hee!
207
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:57,971
What about
when we go out?
208
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,640
I mean, I got more money
than he does.
209
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:00,641
Should I pay?
210
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:01,575
Oh, that's tricky,
211
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,343
'cause the dude likes
to feel like the dude.
212
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:08,048
You know, when I want
to go someplace like
a restaurant or a hotel
213
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,816
that is out of
Riley's price range,
214
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:13,920
I just tell him
that I got a coupon.
215
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,322
A coupon?
And he believed that?
216
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:17,190
Uh‐huh.
217
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:19,225
He believed that we got
to eat for free
218
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:22,328
at Tavern
on the Green...
219
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:28,935
Because the valet
drove my car through
the horse poop.
220
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:31,304
Which, you know, was
a lot of bull poop.
221
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,539
(laughs)
222
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:36,076
You know, Meryl's
kind of gorgeous
for an older chick.
223
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,644
Whoa. Whoa.
224
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:39,880
Never say
the word "older."
225
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:40,881
Or "old."
226
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,115
Or "menopause."
227
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:46,687
In fact, never use
the words "men" or "pause"
on the same day.
228
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:47,854
Got it.
229
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:48,989
And another thing,
230
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,290
don't let her pay
for things, either.
231
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,191
If you're not pulling
your weight,
232
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:52,859
you're not gonna
feel good about yourself.
233
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:55,161
Worse, you'll begin
to resent her.
234
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:57,163
Don't take gifts, either.
235
00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:00,033
But I like gifts.
236
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:03,403
If you start taking
stuff from her
and things go bad,
237
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:04,971
you're gonna
feel obligated.
238
00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:07,340
Then you're gonna stick
around out of guilt.
239
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:10,276
You take stuff
from Fran, don't you?
240
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,311
Nothing expensive.
241
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,680
Like she gave me
this great jacket
the other day.
242
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,249
I had to turn it down,
but it wasn't easy.
243
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,051
I mean, the leather
was so sweet
244
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,654
a vegan
would have eaten it.
245
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:21,888
What'd you tell her?
246
00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:24,424
I told her I'd ruin it
at the construction site.
247
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:25,959
Yeah, right.
248
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,761
She bought it.
249
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:43,209
Did you hear
what he just said?
250
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,045
He loved
the leather jacket
I gave him.
251
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,914
He didn't take it
because he was afraid
he'd be obligated
252
00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:49,115
when he wants
to leave me.
253
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,183
And what's even worse
254
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:54,988
is he's putting bad ideas
into my boyfriend's head.
255
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,389
Would you stop that?
256
00:10:56,389 --> 00:11:00,126
He's not your boyfriend.
You met him an hour ago.
257
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,162
Can we please get
back to me?
258
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:05,065
I have to know what
he's really thinking.
259
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,767
Well, why don't
you just ask him?
260
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:11,805
Because he's obviously
not straightforward
and honest
261
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,240
about things like I am.
262
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:19,145
Well, let me tell you
how Danny and I would
work things out.
263
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:20,313
We would, uh‐‐
264
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,181
Would you shut up?
265
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:24,017
I don't want to be
in a relationship
266
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,186
if he's not
fully committed.
267
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,421
I have to know
the truth.
268
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:30,090
Well, how you
gonna get it?
269
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:34,961
Through lying
and manipulation.
270
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:39,099
The 2 pillars of
a strong relationship.
271
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,234
Are you sure
about that?
272
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,335
Oh, trust me.
273
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:45,105
Riley doesn't know
my real age, weight,
or hair color.
274
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,040
God forbid I ever
get kidnapped,
275
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,143
he'll have no way
to describe me.
276
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,980
(doorbell rings)
277
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:58,919
Hey, Josh.
Thanks for setting this
up for me, man.
278
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,754
Cory, no problem.
279
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,255
Hello.
Hello, girls.
280
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:04,991
Becca, Allison,
this is Cory.
281
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:05,859
'Sup?
282
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:07,293
'Sup. Hi, Josh.
283
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,329
Um, you left
your book upstairs,
284
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:12,966
so I made a cover
for you.
285
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:17,203
Were you in my room?
286
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,472
No.
287
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:22,909
Well, okay.
288
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,344
You kids
have a great time.
289
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:28,749
And remember, stay out
as late as you want.
290
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,826
I cannot believe you.
291
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:40,594
What?
292
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,963
Cory just told us
he's a freshman.
293
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:45,231
And?
And we're sophomores.
294
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:45,899
And?
295
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,534
Why didn't
you say something?
296
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:48,434
I didn't know.
297
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,171
All you high school kids
look alike to me.
298
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:54,207
Becca cannot be seen
with a freshman.
299
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:55,241
What's the big deal?
300
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:58,211
Mom, will you tell Josh
that it is social suicide
301
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:01,515
for a girl to be seen
with a younger guy?
302
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:06,587
Oh, for God's sake.
303
00:13:06,587 --> 00:13:09,155
Becca's gonna be lying
about her age eventually.
304
00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:12,826
Why don't you just
tell her to start now?
305
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,028
So you going out?
306
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,197
Yeah, I'm meeting Riley
for dinner.
307
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,264
Tell me something, Josh.
308
00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:22,102
Do you think
this is something
that you would like?
309
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,004
Are you kidding?
It's fantastic.
310
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:25,506
So you wouldn't
be afraid to ruin it?
311
00:13:25,506 --> 00:13:29,109
No, this watch
is practically
indestructible.
312
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,210
You wouldn't refuse it?
313
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,112
I'd have to be crazy.
314
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,914
Oh, thanks, sweetie.
315
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,081
No, thank you.
316
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:38,051
Let's hope Riley
feels the same.
317
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,321
Hey, Josh.
318
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,056
Hey, cory. I thought
you were hanging out
with the girls.
319
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:44,891
Yeah, they're in the car
with that Todd dude.
320
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:46,026
They wanted me
to come in and ask you
321
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,260
if you had a map
to the mall.
322
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,995
Oh, a map to the‐‐
no, no.
323
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,430
No, no, no, no, no, no!
324
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,065
No, wait!
325
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:52,966
Come back!
326
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,200
(tires screeching)
327
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,236
(sighs)
328
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,371
I'm sorry, Cory.
329
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,974
I guess they kind
of ditched you.
330
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,075
Of course they did.
331
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:03,476
I'm a freshman.
332
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,912
Did this ever happen
to you in high school?
333
00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:07,247
Worse.
334
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,415
I was a senior...
335
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:13,119
And it was my car.
336
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,355
(laughter)
337
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,156
Go for it.
338
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:19,025
I haven't had fondue
in like forever.
339
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,193
Great pick, Fran.
340
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,995
Yeah, the reviews
are really good.
341
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:22,896
I wanted to try it.
342
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:25,566
That is like
the fourth piece of bread
343
00:14:25,566 --> 00:14:28,068
I've lost in this pot.
344
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:32,272
This is like the Bermuda
Triangle of cheese.
345
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:36,076
Meryl, you look
really beautiful
tonight.
346
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,243
Thank you, Danny.
347
00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:38,144
It must be the amber glow
348
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:42,382
of this 643 dash "K"
antique brass fixture.
349
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:47,988
You are so hot.
350
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,390
Oh, this is so nice,
351
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,358
all of us together.
352
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:53,927
Hey, I know.
353
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:56,196
Let's celebrate.
354
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:57,463
What's this?
355
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,232
Well, it's your
anniversary present.
356
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:03,136
I returned the jacket
and I got this instead.
357
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,972
Wow. This is great.
358
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:07,240
Thanks, Fran.
359
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:11,477
Can I just pour
this stuff on my bread?
360
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,648
Why don't you put
the watch on?
361
00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:15,682
No,
362
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:17,450
I don't wanna
mess it up.
363
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:18,384
(chuckles)
364
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:19,285
You can't mess it up.
365
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:22,355
It's waterproof,
shockproof, scratchproof.
366
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:25,025
It's perfect for
a construction site.
367
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:26,459
And I know that
you need a watch
368
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,228
because you lost
your old one.
369
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:31,397
So, let's see you
get out of this.
370
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:33,433
What are
you talking about?
371
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:38,138
I'm talking about‐‐
put on the damn watch.
372
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:41,374
I'm not putting
the watch on, Fran.
373
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:42,475
Well, why not?
374
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:46,046
Are you afraid
if you accept
a generous gift of mine,
375
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,048
then you might
feel too guilty
376
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:50,984
when you really
want to bolt?
377
00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:52,285
Don't look at me.
378
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:55,488
I didn't say
anything about that.
379
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,390
Or the menopause.
380
00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:00,226
(both gasp)
381
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:07,133
So you were
eavesdropping
on me and Danny?
382
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,468
Meryl was, too.
383
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,336
Franny!
384
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:13,139
I absolve you
of any obligation to me.
385
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,408
The day you're not happy
living with me,
386
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,242
you can leave.
387
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:18,211
I never want you
to go through the hell
388
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:21,381
that I went through
trying to leave my marriage.
389
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,349
Fran, I don't want
to leave.
390
00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:24,384
Well, then, fine.
391
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,086
So, as long
as we're together,
392
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:29,523
why can't you enjoy
the gifts that I give you?
393
00:16:29,523 --> 00:16:32,092
Especially since you know
how important it is to me.
394
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:36,763
Fran, I shouldn't have
to take this to prove
that I love you.
395
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,364
But I will.
396
00:16:38,364 --> 00:16:41,201
Oh, Riley.
397
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,507
So, um, how do
we do this?
398
00:16:46,507 --> 00:16:47,774
Oh, don't worry
about it, Danny.
399
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,409
Fran's got a coupon.
400
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:50,544
A coupon?
401
00:16:50,544 --> 00:16:52,646
Where'd you get a coupon
for this place?
402
00:16:52,646 --> 00:16:55,448
I never one and I'm
the coupon king.
403
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:56,316
I clip them everywhere,
404
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:58,719
The Times, The Post,The Pennysaver.
405
00:16:58,719 --> 00:17:03,223
I got this one
from the booklet
from the dry cleaner.
406
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,290
Oh, really?
407
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:07,493
I didn't see it
in there.
408
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,699
It was last month's.
409
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,468
Oh, okay.
410
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,471
Oh, come on.
There is no coupon.
411
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:19,573
Fran just makes
this stuff up
412
00:17:19,573 --> 00:17:21,407
so she can pay
for Riley.
413
00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:23,577
What?
414
00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:28,549
Oh, I could put this
right through your heart
415
00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:32,085
if you weren't
wearing my top.
416
00:17:38,659 --> 00:17:39,860
Allison.
417
00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:43,730
Looks like you made it
home from the mall
without your map.
418
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,800
Perhaps you have something
you'd like to say to Cory.
419
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,803
Uh, listen, ditching you
was Todd's idea.
420
00:17:49,803 --> 00:17:51,171
And?
421
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:54,374
And it wasn't my idea.
422
00:17:54,708 --> 00:17:56,677
And you are...?
423
00:17:56,677 --> 00:18:00,346
The sister of a jackass.
424
00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:03,149
No. You are...
425
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:04,384
(sighs) Sorry.
426
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:06,419
It's okay. Josh is
keeping me company
427
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:07,788
till my brother
picks me up anyway.
428
00:18:07,788 --> 00:18:09,823
And he kind of made
me feel pretty good
429
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:11,758
when he said
the same thing
happened to him
430
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:12,659
when he
was a senior.
431
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,695
Did he also tell you
that it was his prom,
432
00:18:14,695 --> 00:18:15,862
and that his date
took his car
433
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:19,299
and left him
at Quickie Mart?
434
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:20,400
Thank you, Allison.
435
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,735
What? I am making him
feel better.
436
00:18:21,735 --> 00:18:23,469
Well, it's not as bad
as it sounds,
437
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:26,206
because my date was
actually my cousin Leah.
438
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,708
Yeah.
439
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:35,882
My god it's a long walk
to the kitchen.
440
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:39,520
Hey, guys.
How was dinner?
441
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:40,821
Josh,
442
00:18:40,821 --> 00:18:42,723
maybe you can tell Riley
443
00:18:42,723 --> 00:18:46,527
that I was not trying
to make him feel like
less of a man,
444
00:18:46,527 --> 00:18:50,263
I was trying to make him
feel like more of a man.
445
00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:53,900
Riley, mom wants
to break up.
446
00:18:54,868 --> 00:18:56,770
And would you tell
your mother
447
00:18:56,770 --> 00:18:59,873
that I don't need help
feeling like a man at all?
448
00:18:59,873 --> 00:19:02,175
I was one
before I met her.
449
00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:06,279
Mom, Riley agrees
it's over.
450
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:07,480
I'm gonna give you guys
some privacy,
451
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,715
so you can say
your good‐byes.
452
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,584
Riley, it was nice
knowing you.
453
00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:13,587
Leave the watch
on your way out.
454
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:17,591
How long have
you been tricking me
with these coupons, Fran?
455
00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:18,759
Well, I don't know.
456
00:19:18,759 --> 00:19:21,528
How long
have we been dating?
457
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,630
Oh, come on, Riley.
458
00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:24,430
Just think about it.
459
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:25,966
What if the situation
was reversed?
460
00:19:25,966 --> 00:19:28,735
What if you were
the wealthy older man,
461
00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:30,070
and I was
the younger woman?
462
00:19:30,070 --> 00:19:33,607
You would be so thrilled
to take me to places
that I couldn't afford
463
00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:34,941
because it would give
you pleasure.
464
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:37,443
Well, it's the same
exact thing here.
465
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:42,783
Only in our situation,
I'm the older...Man.
466
00:19:42,783 --> 00:19:45,852
That's not the way
the world works, Pops.
467
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,921
We don't work
in the world.
468
00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:50,724
We can't follow
the rules of the world.
469
00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:53,827
We have to make
our own rules.
470
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:55,228
All right.
471
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:56,930
I'll make one right now.
472
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:59,900
From this point on,
no more coupons.
473
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:02,235
I want to pay
my fair share.
474
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,470
Oh, honey, but...
475
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:08,341
You know, I've been
to the Jersey Shore,
476
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:09,943
and I'm at a place
in my life
477
00:20:09,943 --> 00:20:14,848
where I could
afford a 5‐star hotel
in the Caribbean, and...
478
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:17,784
Well, we can
compromise though.
479
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:19,853
I could stay
in a 4‐star hotel.
480
00:20:19,853 --> 00:20:24,490
And then we can eat
in a 5‐star hotel.
481
00:20:24,958 --> 00:20:26,192
All right.
482
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:28,929
I can see one of us
is gonna have to make
a sacrifice here.
483
00:20:28,929 --> 00:20:32,365
Because I love you,
I'll keep the watch
484
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:35,001
and I'll stay
in a 4‐star hotel.
485
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,069
But you owe me.
486
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:41,875
Mmm. Maybe I should start
paying you back right now.
487
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,011
My god.
488
00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:47,948
I was gone 2 minutes.
489
00:21:23,884 --> 00:21:25,619
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