Original subtitles

So, what do you think?

Let me guess. You're pretending to be

the country club divorcée

and Riley is the strapping new tennis pro.

You caught me once in the hallway

in a Wonder Woman tiara.

Would you let it go?

I'm gonna go play tennis with Riley

at the country club today.

Ooh, things have certainly changed.

No, honey, they've been letting us in since Dr. Schwartzman sued.

No. I meant you. I didn't know you played tennis.

Oh, Riley taught me.

Yeah. We used to play all the time before you moved back,

but lately we've been so busy, we haven't had a chance,

so I'm so glad we're gonna play together today.

Hey, partner.

Hi, sweetie.

This is going to be the best day.

Just you and me, honey, enjoying the afternoon sunshine

and pummeling the crap out of the Russells.

And just remember, this is the third Mrs. Russell,

and she looks a lot like the first one because they're sisters.

Only this one has a much better backhand

and a much better pre‐nup.

Got all your gear, babe?

Yeah. I got my make‐up, my body spritz, my hair spray.

I'm all set.

Sure you didn't forget your curling iron or 3‐way mirror?

First rule of tennis‐‐

when you look great, your game's great.

New rule‐‐

When you look great, forget the game.

♪ And I ♪

♪ Feel beautiful right now ♪

♪ For the first time in a long time ♪

♪ I'm letting my hair down ♪

♪ And life ♪

♪ Gets better every day ♪

♪ Though it seems so complicated ♪

♪ We're gonna work it out ♪

♪ Whatever comes our way ♪

Ok. I can understand

getting a tennis ball in the head,

even scraping both your knees,

but how do you bruise your butt?

I tried jumping over the damn net.

I forgot Riley always holds it down for me,

and this time, I just sort of ran into it

and then it shot me back.

Well, where was Riley?

Oh, he was called away.

Every time there's a problem on the construction site,

he's the one that has to come put out the fire.

Why? What happened?

Oh, there was a fire.

(sighs)

What are you so mad about?

You did my laundry.

That's right, Josh,

because I'm evil!

I met this great girl Gina at the movies last night,

and you washed my jeans with her number in it.

Now I can't read the last 2 numbers.

Gimme, gimme!

261‐47...

Frrm‐frrm.

She could've been my soul mate, you know.

Uh‐huh. Your last soul mate was the girl at Wendy's

who bagged your curly fries.

Be nice to me.

Odds are I'll be your prom date.

I'm just gonna have to start dialing numbers.

Oh, hi, sweetie. How was the site?

Oh, one big pain in my ass.

How was the court?

Same pain, different ass.

I'm so sorry I left you hanging.

Let me make it up to you. How about we go down to‐‐

(cell phone rings)

Hold on one sec.

Hello?

Look, Jimmy,

you don't have to call me with every little problem.

What about Bob?

Both of his legs?

Yeah, I'll be right down.

Oh, come on. Don't tell me you have to go again.

I'm sorry. But how about tonight I make some Italian?

You, me, in the kitchen, seven‐ish?

Oh, I can't. I promised David and Gregory

that I'd go buy drapes with them.

Hey, how about if we make dinner together tomorrow night?

Can't. Got a poker tournament with the boys.

I can't let them down.

(cell phone rings)

All right, I gotta run.

We'll figure this out.

Ok, but when?

Uh, I'll call you.

I'll answer.

I forgot to tell you‐‐

I'm hanging out with Dee Dee tonight.

Oh, well, what are you guys gonna do?

I don't know. Just hang out.

Could you be a little more vague?

You don't really like Dee Dee, do you, mom?

Oh, sweetie. It's not that I don't like her.

It's that I don't trust her.

Why don't you trust her?

'cause I don't like her.

Mom, why are you in such a bad mood?

Did you have a fight with Riley?

I wish I could say we had a fight.

That would mean we'd be in the same room together.

I don't know. We're just so busy.

We hardly see each other anymore.

Oh, come on, mom.

You and Riley are great together.

Yeah, when we're together.

Well, shouldn't you be kind of used to it?

I mean, dad was busy a lot, too.

Yeah, exactly.

We never made each other a priority.

And you see what happens to a relationship.

You start to drift apart,

and then the next time you get together

is at the court‐appointed time.

So you should spend some time together.

That'll be good for you and Riley.

You know what I think?

You should go away for a couple of weeks.

I'll be fine. Just leave me some money.

You know, that's really a great idea.

Just to be on the safe side,

I'll leave you the keys to the car, my ATM pin number,

and some birth control.

You could've just said no.

Babe?

I'm home.

Hey, babe?

FRAN: Babe?

You're home?

Babe?

Fran?

Oh.

Honey?

Riley?

(cell phone ringing)

Honey?

Oh.

Riley, where are you?

What are you doing down there?

Looking for you.

Oh, I gotta hang up now.

My boyfriend just walked in the room.

You get the feeling we've been missing each other lately?

Ohh, you took the words right out of my mouth.

Hey, stranger.

Hey, stranger.

You know, how long has it been

since we've been sitting alone like this?

I think weeks.

I know. When we first got together,

we couldn't go 2 hours without each other.

I know. We'd go to the mail

and we'd have to hold hands.

And then, we would always talk in bed. Remember?

We haven't done that in a long time, either.

Before you, I never wanted to lay in bed

and just talk to a woman.

Once I was done, I was done and headed to ihop.

Well, you changed my life, too.

Before you, there were a lot of things

I didn't want to do.

I guess life just gets busy, huh?

I know, but then you drift apart.

Well, we don't want that to happen.

We can't let that happen.

No.

You're kidding me. You're Gina?

Gina from the cineplex?

Ha! I never thought I'd find you.

(mouths) It's her.

Yeah, yeah. I'm the guy who shushed you when your cell phone went off.

And then apologized when I saw how hot you were.

Well, where were we?

ALLISON: I'm heading off to Dee Dee's now.

And, mother, just for your police files,

if it gets too late, I might stay there.

Ok, well, please call me when you know where you're staying.

(scoffs) Why don't you just take me to the dog pound

so they can put a chip in my ear?

Will they do that for me?

Ok, let's make this quick, huh?

Who's the man?!

I overcame tremendous odds, I never gave up.

I found Gina, and she was delighted that I called.

Oh, that's great, Josh.

You found your mystery woman.

Hooray, hooray. Now go enjoy her.

Yep, she manages that band Publik Domain.

They're playing at the Aztec tonight,

and I will be joining her.

I love that band.

I'm always playing them in the car.

Hey, I've got a great idea.

Why don't we go to that concert together?

Really? You want to go?

I thought you had plans.

Oh, I'll just cancel them.

We need to spend time alone.

Great. Then it's a date.

No, it's not. It's my date.

Oh, Josh, would you relax?

We're not gonna cramp your style.

But why don't we all wear matching turtlenecks

so we can find each other at the concert?

I'm so kidding.

I better grab a shower.

Ok.

What are you doing? What?

You told me and Allison you wanted to jump out the window

every time Riley plays that CD. You hate that band.

Well, Riley and I want to be together more,

so tonight, I'm gonna love that band.

Are you lovin' it?

I'm loving it!

Oh!

I'm still loving it!

JOSH: I can't see anything.

I need to find Gina before this thing ends.

Ok.

Excuse me.

Buddy, do you need to be standing there?

I can't see.

It's just that...

I've dreamed of seeing this band

the entire time I was quarantined.

(coughs)

I'm never gonna find Gina. There's too many people.

(hard rock playing)

Left. Go left a little.

I'm not a horse.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy, fella!

Josh, why don't you just walk around

and find her already?

Ok, ok, ok. Down, boy.

Hey, that drummer looks like your cousin Ira.

You don't know him.

All right, uh, wish me luck.

♪ Flesh and blood ♪

♪ What are you made of? ♪

♪ Flesh and blood ♪

Yeah. Ok. Ok, got it.

Having a good time, hon?

Are you kidding?

I'm having a fantastic time!

Then you should stay.

Ok.

Why? Where are you going?

A water main broke down at the construction site.

I gotta run.

I'm so sorry I'm screwing up our date, hon,

but I'll be back as soon as I can. Ok.

Here's my lighter in case they play Egyptian Stairway.

Ok. Hurry back!

I'll miss you, sweetie!

♪ What are we made of? ♪

♪ Flesh and blood ♪

♪ What are we made of? ♪

♪ Flesh and blood ♪

♪ What are we made of? ♪

♪ Flesh and blood ♪

♪ What are we made of? ♪

♪ Flesh and blood ♪

(hard rock playing)

I'm here with my boyfriend.

Or at least I was.

He's been gone a whole hour,

but he's coming back.

We're trying to reconnect.

He's the love of my life.

You want to make out?

You're very charming.

But no.

Oh, my cell phone is vibrating.

Excuse me.

Hello?

Hi, Allison.

Ok. Thanks for calling, honey.

Right. Have fun at Dee Dee's house.

Bye‐bye. I love you.

My daughter.

She's a good kid.

Can I meet her?

No.

I want to see everybody move!

♪ DJ ♪

♪ DJ ♪

♪ DJ go parading ♪

♪ DJ ♪

♪ DJ ♪

♪ DJ ♪

(thud)

(new song begins)

Oh, there you are.

What are you doing over here?

I fell, and then everybody picked me up,

and they crowd‐surfed me.

And then they spit me out back on the floor.

Oh, my God.

It's ok. I was blacked out for most of it.

Are you ok? You want to go?

Uh...

Oh, no. No, no.

I'm just happy that we're back together.

Hey. Hi.

I found Gina, and she invited me backstage

to the band's dressing room

for a post‐concert bash.

You get to hang with the band?

You never heard of them before tonight, and you get to hang?

Ah, so this is what it's like for you

to be jealous of me.

Not as satisfying as I'd hoped.

Ok, so, look, I talked to her,

and she said I could bring some friends.

Are you serious?

Babe, you want to go backstage?

Uh...sure, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Just don't tell anybody you're my mom

and her boyfriend.

If anybody asks, you're Vanilla Ice

and his manager Bobbi Flekman.

Mom. What?

Why are you walking like that?

Oh, well, you know when they were

passing me around the crowd?

Besides getting a full‐frontal body massage,

I lost a shoe.

Oh, babe, I'm sorry.

But look at the bright side.

We're gonna meet Publik Domain.

Ok, just nobody embarrass me, all right?

Josh, who's gonna embarrass you?

Hey, drunk girl! Sell me your shoes!

Mom!

What a score. These boots were 400 bucks at Bloomie's.

I got 'em for 40 bucks.

Hey, let me know if you see any wasted chicks

with Prada bags.

We're cool. We're with the band.

You know, you know.

Oh. Ahem... Gina!

Uh... incidentally,

the family portion of this evening is officially over.

Hey, there's Ken Logan and Mike Phelps.

They started Publik Domain.

I've got to know if all the vocals on Tiny Garage

were really recorded in a tiny garage

or if that's just legend.

Ok. All right.

I'm just gonna go looking for a bathroom.

Ok.

Excuse me.

(coughs)

Say, are you guys fans of this band?

Feh!

Please!

Our son is the lead singer.

It's our 35th anniversary,

so he flew us out here.

Wow, 35 years.

What's your secret?

We really love doing things together.

That's the key, isn't it?

We wanted our son to be a dentist,

but they threw him out of dental school.

Did you ever hear of such a thing?

Sadly, I have.

Sorry.

No problem.

Did I tell you?

All you have to do is act like you belong,

and nobody stops you.

Come on, let's mingle.

Next time I'm in Boca,

I'll definitely come visit you guys.

Oh, isn't that funny?

I have that same exact hat.

Oh! And I have the same daughter!

Allison! What are you doing here?!

(British accent) Who is this Allison?

Really, if one more bloody bloke‐‐

Oh, give it up!

Good‐bye! Good‐bye!

You girls are in big trouble.

It was all Allison's idea.

Dee Dee!

I'm sorry. I panicked.

Hey, hon, look.

The guy signed a CD for me.

"To Riley‐‐rock on. Ken and Mike."

Allison?

Yes, Allison. Can you believe this?

I don't know how you thought

you were gonna get away with this.

Well, for starters,

I didn't think you were going to be here.

You hate this band.

You say they sound like a bunch of monkeys

got into the silverware drawer.

That's what you think they sound like?

You think we sound like monkeys?

Uh, the small monkeys.

You know, the ones that they send into space.

The lady's right.

We suck because you keep missing practice, bro.

If you wrote better songs, I'd want to practice, bro!

Hey, if you're so unhappy,

I guess it's time for a change.

Maybe it is. Yeah, maybe it is!

We're through! Ok!

Wait! You guys can't break up!

What about your fans?

Maybe you could go back to dental school.

I can't believe that woman just broke up my band.

Come on.

Josh, I'm taking your sister home.

So, I guess that ski weekend we were talking about

is out of the question.

You are grounded, young lady!

For the next 3 weeks, you don't leave your room

except for school and meals.

No! Just school!

I will slide your meals under your door!

Oh, come on. Like you never did anything like this

when you were my age?

Well, my Dee Dee was a girl named Angela.

She went to Catholic school.

Her skirt was basically a headband.

And do you know where she is today?

Jail?

No, she's married to a pediatrician

and lives in a gorgeous home in Bergen County.

But the point is‐‐

Ah, just get up to your room.

Oh, sweetie.

I'm sorry about tonight.

I didn't mean to break up your band.

Well, they've broken up before.

They'll go off and do a couple of crappy solo albums

and then get back together.

Why did you even suggest we go if you don't like their music?

Because I wanted to spend time with you,

so I was really trying, but you were right.

I didn't like it very much.

Why weren't you just honest with me?

Because I wanted to like what you like.

I mean, we're supposed to be soul mates,

so we should be together.

Babe, you are my soul mate.

But it's not about time

or liking the same music.

It's about the little things‐‐

doing a crossword in bed or‐‐

or getting coffee for each other. You know?

This talk‐‐

I would've never cared enough about another relationship

to have a talk like this.

And I never cared enough about anyone before

to sit through 3 encores of Egyptian Highway.

Stairway.

Whatever.

I love that you tried.

I love everything about you.

Riley.

Yoko.

Did you hear something?

Who cares?

In any relationship,

what keeps you together

is appreciating the everyday stuff.

Sharing a cup of coffee, doing the crossword puzzle.

It's the little things that are the big things.

She's right, bro.

I love you, bro.

(sobbing)

Can we rehearse in your garage?

No, bro.

Captioned by the National Captioning Institute