All language subtitles for Lexx.S04E04.1080p.HDTV.x264-NOGRP

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish Download
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,723 --> 00:00:03,672 Buttons! It's yummy yum, yum time. 2 00:00:03,692 --> 00:00:08,078 Buttons! 3 00:00:08,098 --> 00:00:10,200 Look what mumsie's made 4 00:00:10,231 --> 00:00:13,817 for her very special Buttons - 5 00:00:13,837 --> 00:00:16,473 fresh catfish supreme. 6 00:00:17,741 --> 00:00:20,377 Don't you like your dinny din dins? 7 00:00:21,779 --> 00:00:23,013 Buttons? 8 00:00:25,779 --> 00:00:31,013 Resync: Xenzai[NEF] 9 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,228 Oh, 10 00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:38,230 oh Buttons! 11 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,368 Oh Buttons, 12 00:00:43,568 --> 00:00:47,974 Buttons - is there something wrong with my poor little pussy? 13 00:01:54,245 --> 00:01:56,347 Lexx 4.04 Stan Down 14 00:02:09,161 --> 00:02:11,598 Are you a man or a jellyfish? 15 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,524 - What, sweetie? - Are you a man, 16 00:02:14,559 --> 00:02:16,249 or a spineless gutless jellyfish 17 00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:18,438 with no backbone whatsoever? 18 00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:22,255 Er - I'm a man. 19 00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:25,246 You're a jellyfish. You take orders from Prince, 20 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:29,582 and why the head of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms 21 00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:32,887 should tell the President of the United States what to do is beyond me. 22 00:02:32,922 --> 00:02:35,489 You're nothing but a snivelling dog, Reggie. 23 00:02:35,524 --> 00:02:37,709 - Woof! - You give the orders, 24 00:02:37,744 --> 00:02:39,860 not Isambard Prince - and he, 25 00:02:39,895 --> 00:02:42,130 and everyone else, has to follow them. 26 00:02:42,564 --> 00:02:44,566 You really think that's possible? 27 00:02:44,601 --> 00:02:46,568 Yes you moron, you're the President! 28 00:02:47,035 --> 00:02:48,504 That's right, I am. 29 00:02:48,539 --> 00:02:49,605 If you want, 30 00:02:49,705 --> 00:02:51,174 you can get rid of Prince - 31 00:02:52,008 --> 00:02:54,410 then you don't have to take orders from him again. 32 00:02:55,445 --> 00:02:57,113 - You're right. - Always. 33 00:02:58,014 --> 00:02:59,449 But how can I get rid of him? 34 00:02:59,715 --> 00:03:02,686 Anyway you want, Mr President. 35 00:03:13,298 --> 00:03:15,967 Your country has an important mission for you 36 00:03:27,813 --> 00:03:30,950 - Are we there yet? - Not yet, sweetie pie. 37 00:03:30,985 --> 00:03:32,583 When are we gonna get there?! 38 00:03:32,618 --> 00:03:35,020 We'll get there when we get there, pumpkin. 39 00:03:35,055 --> 00:03:37,388 I wanna go to the alligator pit, right now. 40 00:03:37,423 --> 00:03:39,826 Mommy and daddy have promised that you can, sweetie. 41 00:03:39,861 --> 00:03:41,962 The alligator pit! The alligator pit! 42 00:03:41,997 --> 00:03:44,064 We have to get there first, sugar 43 00:03:44,264 --> 00:03:45,799 I'm hungry. 44 00:03:46,633 --> 00:03:47,666 I hate those. 45 00:03:47,701 --> 00:03:49,736 - Oh, you love them. - I hate those! 46 00:03:50,938 --> 00:03:53,508 And I want to shoot something. 47 00:04:12,528 --> 00:04:14,530 Oh, oh! - 48 00:04:17,467 --> 00:04:20,170 oh, why can't this just be a dream? 49 00:04:20,737 --> 00:04:23,706 Why can't I just wake up in my own bed on the Lexx? 50 00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:25,809 This definitely is not my bed. 51 00:04:28,112 --> 00:04:29,145 Mr President. 52 00:04:29,180 --> 00:04:31,013 I'd like to have a word with prisoner Tweedle 53 00:04:31,048 --> 00:04:33,917 Sir, I don't know if you have the proper clearance for that here. 54 00:04:33,952 --> 00:04:36,787 Look here, I'm the President, I can do what I want, now leave me 55 00:04:36,822 --> 00:04:37,988 Yes sir 56 00:04:47,466 --> 00:04:48,867 Go, get out of here! 57 00:05:05,152 --> 00:05:06,987 Stanley Tweedle - 58 00:05:07,488 --> 00:05:09,923 we have something in common, you and I. 59 00:05:09,958 --> 00:05:10,823 What? 60 00:05:10,858 --> 00:05:13,160 Our strong feelings about Isambard Prince. 61 00:05:13,961 --> 00:05:16,463 Oh yeah, I got some strong feelings about him. 62 00:05:16,764 --> 00:05:19,000 They're not the same ones you have! 63 00:05:19,035 --> 00:05:20,900 Perhaps they are. 64 00:05:20,935 --> 00:05:23,788 I feel strongly that this planet would be a better 65 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,641 place as far as both you and I were concerned if 66 00:05:26,676 --> 00:05:30,144 Prince were, er - no longer here. 67 00:05:30,179 --> 00:05:33,249 - What? - Let me ask you, Captain Tweedle - 68 00:05:33,883 --> 00:05:36,986 - you don't mind if I call you that? - At, no, no. 69 00:05:37,052 --> 00:05:40,389 Captain Tweedle, could you use the Lexx to, 70 00:05:40,689 --> 00:05:42,392 er - destroy Prince? 71 00:05:44,194 --> 00:05:45,729 Yeah, I think so. 72 00:05:46,296 --> 00:05:49,299 But if I do, what's in it for me? 73 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,602 I'll make you a - a king. 74 00:05:52,836 --> 00:05:54,972 What, king of the whole planet? 75 00:05:55,007 --> 00:05:57,108 Oo, no, not the whole planet. 76 00:05:57,542 --> 00:06:00,178 But you could rule your own country, mmm - 77 00:06:00,745 --> 00:06:01,778 that! 78 00:06:01,813 --> 00:06:04,148 That great big island. 79 00:06:04,515 --> 00:06:05,716 You can be king of 80 00:06:05,751 --> 00:06:07,419 Newfoundland. 81 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:09,088 What's it like? 82 00:06:09,621 --> 00:06:12,189 It's paradise. A beautiful island 83 00:06:12,224 --> 00:06:15,094 paradise of wine, women and constant song. 84 00:06:15,260 --> 00:06:17,362 Big sunny gardens, all year round. 85 00:06:17,429 --> 00:06:19,365 What are the women like? 86 00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:23,837 Not very picky if you know what I mean. 87 00:06:26,573 --> 00:06:30,376 King of New - New - what? 88 00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,411 Newfoundland. 89 00:06:32,446 --> 00:06:35,716 King of Newfoundland, huh? 90 00:07:05,681 --> 00:07:07,016 So how do we find Stan? 91 00:07:07,917 --> 00:07:10,854 Excuse me. I am looking for Stanley Tweedle. 92 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:13,791 He is in this city. How would I find him? 93 00:07:14,291 --> 00:07:15,859 Better get yourself a new hairdo, 94 00:07:15,993 --> 00:07:18,028 freako Hey, baby 95 00:07:18,362 --> 00:07:20,597 Outta my way, bunhead! 96 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,539 Who is in charge of this city? 97 00:07:27,806 --> 00:07:29,874 The President. In the White House. 98 00:07:30,842 --> 00:07:32,110 Pennsylvania Avenue. 99 00:07:32,510 --> 00:07:33,611 Thank you. 100 00:07:34,547 --> 00:07:36,649 Nice work - bunhead. 101 00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:42,688 So, this makes me King of, er - 102 00:07:43,456 --> 00:07:45,823 Newfoundland, yes. 103 00:07:45,858 --> 00:07:48,995 By my supreme executive authority, 104 00:07:49,030 --> 00:07:50,897 I invest you as the king 105 00:07:51,198 --> 00:07:52,232 Excellent. 106 00:07:52,365 --> 00:07:54,067 I'll call you as soon as we get back to the Lexx. 107 00:07:54,102 --> 00:07:55,734 - How? - Oh, we're much 108 00:07:55,769 --> 00:07:57,938 more advanced than you are. I can call 109 00:07:57,973 --> 00:07:59,774 - right to your desk. - Good. 110 00:07:59,809 --> 00:08:01,541 And I'll find out where Prince is. 111 00:08:01,576 --> 00:08:05,246 - Find out exactly where. - exactly, yes. 112 00:08:05,281 --> 00:08:07,448 Time to close the book on Prince. 113 00:08:34,077 --> 00:08:35,245 Look! 114 00:08:48,693 --> 00:08:49,961 Gimmee a ride? 115 00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:52,164 Hold on tight. 116 00:08:58,970 --> 00:09:01,040 You're sure it was the President? 117 00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:02,373 Yes sir. 118 00:09:02,408 --> 00:09:05,745 And what exactly were he and Stanley Tweedle talking about? 119 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,214 We don't know sir. 120 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:09,747 Why not? 121 00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:11,717 He asked us to leave the chamber. 122 00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:14,019 Well why didn't you come up here? 123 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,457 We - didn't know that was allowed, sir. 124 00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,592 Well the next time that Stanley Tweedle and the President 125 00:09:18,627 --> 00:09:20,292 have a little chit chat, 126 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,429 you have my permission to come into this office. 127 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,531 You can hear them quite well from here. 128 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,801 - Yes sir. - Thank you. 129 00:09:31,473 --> 00:09:33,341 This just in - 130 00:09:33,475 --> 00:09:35,442 the Sacred College of Cardinals 131 00:09:35,477 --> 00:09:38,914 of the Catholic Church have finally chosen a new Pope. 132 00:09:39,515 --> 00:09:42,117 Although it's not a requirement of canon law, the 133 00:09:42,152 --> 00:09:44,685 college normally elects one of its own members 134 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,757 as leader of the world's more than one billion Catholics. 135 00:09:48,557 --> 00:09:51,394 But in a surprise break from tradition, 136 00:09:51,628 --> 00:09:53,330 they've made a - 137 00:09:53,597 --> 00:09:56,366 real estate agent from Miami, 138 00:09:56,833 --> 00:09:58,767 Genevieve G Rota, 139 00:09:58,802 --> 00:10:02,372 the new Holy Father of the Catholic Church. 140 00:10:02,407 --> 00:10:06,077 I'm His Holiness? I'm the Holy Father? 141 00:10:06,978 --> 00:10:08,880 I'm the Pope! Oh my goodness! 142 00:10:09,013 --> 00:10:11,098 I'm the Pope, I can't believe it. 143 00:10:11,133 --> 00:10:13,184 I'm the Pope, it ain't no joke, 144 00:10:13,219 --> 00:10:15,285 everybody, I'm the Pope! 145 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:18,157 I'm the Pope. I ain't no dope. I offer hope - 146 00:10:18,192 --> 00:10:20,443 wine, wafers and water and wine. 147 00:10:20,478 --> 00:10:22,659 Kiss my ring and cross my heart! 148 00:10:22,694 --> 00:10:24,730 We were deadlocked for a week, between the Cardinal 149 00:10:24,765 --> 00:10:26,663 of Valencia and the Cardinal of Milan. 150 00:10:26,698 --> 00:10:29,635 It was getting so acrimonious, we decided to pick 151 00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:32,572 a compromise candidate at random from the newspaper. 152 00:10:33,239 --> 00:10:35,858 Once conclave begins, no communication is allowed 153 00:10:35,893 --> 00:10:38,478 with the outside world, and the only newspaper we had 154 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:41,749 was the real estate section of the Miami Herald. 155 00:10:41,784 --> 00:10:44,251 We chose Genevieve because her name has 156 00:10:44,286 --> 00:10:46,253 a nice Catholic ring to it. 157 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,463 Isambard Prince, for the President 158 00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:58,100 I'm sorry sir. The President's, er - away 159 00:10:58,433 --> 00:11:00,218 Away, where? 160 00:11:00,253 --> 00:11:02,003 Just - away. sir 161 00:11:02,737 --> 00:11:05,641 The President didn't tell me that he was going away 162 00:11:06,175 --> 00:11:08,177 Would you like to leave a message? 163 00:11:38,343 --> 00:11:41,713 "We're going to Orlando this year, I promise". 164 00:11:42,681 --> 00:11:43,849 That's what you said. 165 00:11:44,183 --> 00:11:45,751 Your exact words. 166 00:11:45,985 --> 00:11:48,254 I assumed that meant that you wanted to go. 167 00:11:49,054 --> 00:11:51,423 You said we were going to go last year - 168 00:11:51,458 --> 00:11:53,793 of course, we didn't go anywhere last year. 169 00:11:53,859 --> 00:11:55,462 You said we were gonna go the year before - 170 00:11:55,796 --> 00:11:57,230 and the year before that. 171 00:11:57,464 --> 00:11:59,666 Each time you had a reason why you couldn't. 172 00:12:00,267 --> 00:12:02,736 You always have a reason why you can't do anything. 173 00:12:02,771 --> 00:12:04,838 The alligator pit! The alligator pit! 174 00:12:04,873 --> 00:12:06,405 We're almost there, lambikins. 175 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,241 The alligator pit! The alligator pit! 176 00:12:08,276 --> 00:12:11,145 Look, we all want to get to the alligator pit, sweetheart. 177 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:13,431 That is, as long as your father doesn't 178 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,183 screw up this time, like he always does. 179 00:12:26,028 --> 00:12:27,362 That's your plan? 180 00:12:28,464 --> 00:12:30,599 That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 181 00:12:31,233 --> 00:12:33,619 No, sweetie - Captain Tweedle says his 182 00:12:33,654 --> 00:12:35,747 spaceship can fire a tiny little beam, 183 00:12:35,782 --> 00:12:37,841 - at precisely - - And you believed him? 184 00:12:37,876 --> 00:12:39,040 Well, yes 185 00:12:39,075 --> 00:12:40,275 You know, I knew you were dumb Reggie, 186 00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:42,979 but I had no idea you were actually retarded. 187 00:12:43,213 --> 00:12:45,549 How are you going to pinpoint Prince? 188 00:12:45,749 --> 00:12:48,119 Is he gonna go around telling you precisely where he is? 189 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,458 Yeah? It's Prince! 190 00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:58,446 Isambard - how are you? And where are you? 191 00:12:58,481 --> 00:13:01,700 I just called to tell you I'm in Miami, 192 00:13:01,735 --> 00:13:03,301 for a couple of days, 193 00:13:03,635 --> 00:13:06,269 to meet with some Cuban hit men. 194 00:13:06,304 --> 00:13:08,808 Er, good, good, fine, fine. He's gone to Miami! 195 00:13:09,542 --> 00:13:12,376 So, where in Miami are you, exactly? 196 00:13:12,411 --> 00:13:14,847 My meeting's taking place in a small yacht, 197 00:13:15,081 --> 00:13:17,850 about two miles off South Beach - 198 00:13:18,117 --> 00:13:20,586 - why? - Er, Isambard, I've got to go. 199 00:13:20,686 --> 00:13:22,055 Call me back. 200 00:13:23,390 --> 00:13:25,526 - Find a map. - This is crazy 201 00:13:25,561 --> 00:13:26,860 No it's not! 202 00:13:31,598 --> 00:13:33,033 It'll never work 203 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,870 America, America - there. 204 00:13:37,272 --> 00:13:39,439 There it is. Miami. 205 00:13:39,474 --> 00:13:41,509 It's right there on that land that sticks out. 206 00:13:41,976 --> 00:13:44,479 That land that sticks out is called Florida. 207 00:13:45,513 --> 00:13:47,583 You don't know that, war hero? 208 00:13:48,484 --> 00:13:50,453 Oo - well, 209 00:13:51,921 --> 00:13:54,290 thirty years in the jungle causes you to forget - 210 00:13:57,259 --> 00:13:58,462 things. 211 00:14:11,409 --> 00:14:14,312 - 790. - Kai-o-licious! 212 00:14:17,515 --> 00:14:18,548 Lexx, what was that? 213 00:14:18,583 --> 00:14:21,486 A communication signal, Stanley. 214 00:14:21,521 --> 00:14:23,222 Well - 215 00:14:23,755 --> 00:14:25,522 connect us! 216 00:14:25,557 --> 00:14:27,960 As you command, Stan. 217 00:14:28,293 --> 00:14:30,762 Stanley? Captain Tweedle, 218 00:14:30,863 --> 00:14:32,965 - is that you? - Yes, yeah, it's me. 219 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,865 Prince is on a boat off Miami. 220 00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:36,469 He promised to call back soon with his exact 221 00:14:36,504 --> 00:14:38,705 precise location, are you listening? 222 00:14:38,740 --> 00:14:40,907 - Yeah, yeah, I'm listening. - OK. 223 00:14:46,746 --> 00:14:48,647 - Prince? - Yes? 224 00:14:48,682 --> 00:14:51,685 Are you still there, where you are? On a boat? 225 00:14:51,752 --> 00:14:53,419 Yes, I'm still here. 226 00:14:53,454 --> 00:14:55,890 Oh, sorry about that, I was on the other line. 227 00:14:55,925 --> 00:14:57,858 I'm off the coast of Florida - that's 228 00:14:58,159 --> 00:15:00,929 the bit that sticks out at the bottom right hand corner of the United States 229 00:15:01,096 --> 00:15:02,295 Off Miami, right? 230 00:15:02,330 --> 00:15:05,267 Yes, I'm in a small boat off South Beach. 231 00:15:05,433 --> 00:15:07,634 Mmm. Could - 232 00:15:07,669 --> 00:15:10,038 could you say exactly how far off? 233 00:15:10,505 --> 00:15:11,538 Why? 234 00:15:11,573 --> 00:15:13,775 Well, er, I, 235 00:15:13,810 --> 00:15:16,729 I just like to know exactly where my trusty old 236 00:15:16,764 --> 00:15:19,649 number two man - I mean, number one man, is. 237 00:15:20,183 --> 00:15:21,350 I see. 238 00:15:21,617 --> 00:15:24,153 Well, just, just give me a moment here please. 239 00:15:27,791 --> 00:15:31,195 My exact position is 25 degrees 45 minutes north, 240 00:15:31,328 --> 00:15:34,598 by 80 degrees 16 minutes west. Did you get that? 241 00:15:34,898 --> 00:15:37,702 Oh, I am sorry - 242 00:15:38,636 --> 00:15:40,205 could you repeat that? 243 00:15:40,505 --> 00:15:43,575 25 degrees 45 minutes north, 244 00:15:43,708 --> 00:15:47,112 by 80 degrees 16 minutes west. 245 00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:50,349 - Thank you, Isambard. - It's my pleasure. 246 00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:53,119 Now, what was it that you were calling about? 247 00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:56,489 = Oh, it's the Cubans, sir. - The Cubans, hmm, I see. 248 00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,622 Yes, the Miami Cubans. 249 00:15:58,657 --> 00:16:01,360 I'm arranging for them to take care of a little problem for me. 250 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:05,565 Mm, I see, good, good, fine, fine. 251 00:16:06,867 --> 00:16:09,603 It's the type of problem they're quite experienced with, 252 00:16:09,638 --> 00:16:12,072 so I won't bore you with the details just now. 253 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:15,009 Yes, you handle it. You are my number one. 254 00:16:15,044 --> 00:16:17,245 - Well, bye, bye Isambard. - Bye, bye 255 00:16:17,845 --> 00:16:18,845 Did you get all that? 256 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:21,115 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. 257 00:16:23,618 --> 00:16:25,620 And what do you think? 258 00:16:25,987 --> 00:16:28,657 I think you should have rotted in the jungles of Vietnam, 259 00:16:29,024 --> 00:16:31,660 and I should have married Dr Schnapsklapper. 260 00:16:37,966 --> 00:16:40,537 OK Lexx - I want you to fire 261 00:16:41,171 --> 00:16:43,004 a tiny beam, 262 00:16:43,039 --> 00:16:47,075 at a teeny weeny tiny target. 263 00:16:47,110 --> 00:16:50,413 I will always do as you command, captain. 264 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,248 Good. OK Lexx - 265 00:16:52,283 --> 00:16:54,385 I want you to fire your weapon - 266 00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:56,554 Stan! What are you doing? 267 00:16:56,821 --> 00:16:58,821 Now Xev, look, I know 268 00:16:58,856 --> 00:17:01,709 that you think that sometimes I make really stupid decisions, 269 00:17:01,744 --> 00:17:04,563 and I admit, once or twice in the past, maybe I coulda done 270 00:17:04,598 --> 00:17:07,164 things a bit better, but trust me on this one. 271 00:17:07,199 --> 00:17:10,335 What I am doing is for the greater good of everybody. 272 00:17:10,370 --> 00:17:11,935 Do you mind if I ask how? 273 00:17:11,970 --> 00:17:14,339 And what exactly you have in mind then? 274 00:17:14,374 --> 00:17:16,373 I'm gonna get the Lexx to fire 275 00:17:16,408 --> 00:17:20,880 a tiny thin beam at a precise spot on that planet, 276 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:24,050 and then no more Prince. 277 00:17:24,117 --> 00:17:25,451 Do you think the Lexx can do that? 278 00:17:25,651 --> 00:17:28,604 Xev, look, we did some target practice a little while ago, 279 00:17:28,639 --> 00:17:31,558 and the Lexx fired a tiny beam at a little object that was - 280 00:17:31,959 --> 00:17:34,795 really, really far away, so this should be easy. 281 00:17:34,962 --> 00:17:39,066 - Right, Lexx? - I will do as you command, Stan. 282 00:17:40,067 --> 00:17:41,467 I don't know, Stan. 283 00:17:41,502 --> 00:17:44,672 Oh, come on Xev! The Lexx and I are really good together. 284 00:17:44,707 --> 00:17:46,873 Oh, sure you are! What if it doesn't work? 285 00:17:46,908 --> 00:17:49,644 Then you'll end up killing thousands and thousands of innocent people. 286 00:17:50,211 --> 00:17:52,113 Look Xev - the only chance 287 00:17:52,347 --> 00:17:55,050 that entire planet has is with Prince out of the way, 288 00:17:55,085 --> 00:17:56,383 now you know that's true. 289 00:17:56,418 --> 00:18:00,289 Are you sure it is possible to kill Prince in the conventional sense? 290 00:18:00,356 --> 00:18:01,288 You mean, 291 00:18:01,323 --> 00:18:04,360 after he's dead, he might be able to come back, like he did on Fire? 292 00:18:05,294 --> 00:18:08,865 - Yes. - Yeah, but we don't know for sure! 293 00:18:09,132 --> 00:18:10,934 We shouldn't miss this chance. 294 00:18:12,235 --> 00:18:14,204 Besides, I'm the captain of this ship, 295 00:18:14,604 --> 00:18:16,907 and I hereby declare by my - 296 00:18:17,474 --> 00:18:19,610 supreme executive authority, 297 00:18:19,677 --> 00:18:22,647 that we are gonna blow up Prince, the ultimate embodiment 298 00:18:22,682 --> 00:18:25,148 of evil, who we know - right now - 299 00:18:25,183 --> 00:18:27,685 is on a little boat off the coast of Miami, Florida - 300 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,921 therefore making this planet a much better place 301 00:18:29,956 --> 00:18:32,624 for me, for you, for everybody! 302 00:18:32,758 --> 00:18:33,992 Now Lexx - 303 00:18:34,793 --> 00:18:37,396 you see that bit that sticks out there? 304 00:18:37,863 --> 00:18:39,463 Yes, Stan. 305 00:18:39,498 --> 00:18:42,401 - Are you aimed at it? - Yes, Stan. 306 00:18:42,436 --> 00:18:44,637 Good. OK Lexx - 307 00:18:44,771 --> 00:18:48,708 I want you to fire a tiny thin beam, 308 00:18:49,409 --> 00:18:50,677 at - 309 00:18:51,177 --> 00:18:54,814 28 degrees by 310 00:18:55,415 --> 00:18:57,952 45 minutes north, 311 00:18:58,786 --> 00:19:02,156 by 81 degrees 312 00:19:03,290 --> 00:19:06,560 point 15 minutes west. 313 00:19:06,727 --> 00:19:09,064 As you command, Stan. 314 00:19:44,368 --> 00:19:45,736 Is that it? 315 00:19:46,571 --> 00:19:48,773 Oh, don't you just love it?! 316 00:19:49,140 --> 00:19:51,307 It's beautiful! 317 00:19:51,342 --> 00:19:53,211 Alligator pit! Alligator pit! 318 00:19:53,545 --> 00:19:55,747 You're no fun at all, do you know that? 319 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:10,864 Oh, man - 320 00:20:30,284 --> 00:20:31,953 Prince? 321 00:20:34,622 --> 00:20:37,426 We interrupt this programme for a special news bulletin. 322 00:20:38,093 --> 00:20:40,394 Moments ago, a massive explosion seems 323 00:20:40,429 --> 00:20:43,899 to have completely obliterated the city of Orlando, Florida. 324 00:20:44,433 --> 00:20:47,302 Again, the city of Orlando, Florida 325 00:20:47,469 --> 00:20:49,839 has suffered a massive explosion. 326 00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,809 Orlando? 327 00:20:53,042 --> 00:20:54,077 Idiot. 328 00:20:56,913 --> 00:20:58,014 Good shot. 329 00:20:59,149 --> 00:21:03,554 Lexx, you hit the wrong place! 330 00:21:03,821 --> 00:21:07,124 I am sorry Stanley - I tried my best. 331 00:21:07,159 --> 00:21:09,460 How could you miss! 332 00:21:09,793 --> 00:21:11,996 I like to blow up whole planets. 333 00:21:12,031 --> 00:21:14,232 That is what I was designed for. 334 00:21:14,267 --> 00:21:16,399 I will try again if you like. 335 00:21:16,434 --> 00:21:19,504 - No! - Congratulations, mass murderer. 336 00:21:19,738 --> 00:21:22,941 Oh, as if that matters to you! That's it. 337 00:21:24,042 --> 00:21:25,711 I'm outta here. 338 00:21:26,212 --> 00:21:28,112 I've had it with this whole stupid planet, 339 00:21:28,147 --> 00:21:30,383 I've had it with Prince, and I've had it with everything. 340 00:21:30,418 --> 00:21:32,619 I say we just get outta here right now, 341 00:21:32,654 --> 00:21:34,821 and take our chances someplace else. 342 00:21:34,856 --> 00:21:38,091 Lexx - get us outta here now! 343 00:21:38,292 --> 00:21:40,325 I am very weak Stanley. 344 00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:43,130 Unless I eat a lot more I will not be able 345 00:21:43,165 --> 00:21:45,732 to go very far very quickly. 346 00:21:45,999 --> 00:21:49,403 Look Lexx, we'll find you something else to eat along the way, 347 00:21:49,438 --> 00:21:53,608 OK? Let's just, just, you know, just go! 348 00:21:53,643 --> 00:21:55,675 As you request, captain - 349 00:21:55,710 --> 00:21:59,881 but I will only be able to go very, very slowly. 350 00:22:00,114 --> 00:22:01,883 Well, as long as you're moving. 351 00:22:08,390 --> 00:22:11,358 Stan - I don't wanna go just yet. 352 00:22:11,393 --> 00:22:14,163 Well Xev, if you don't wanna go just yet, 353 00:22:14,530 --> 00:22:16,264 you get in a moth and you go down to that planet, 354 00:22:16,299 --> 00:22:20,036 but don't expect me to wait for you, because I'm leaving, right now! 355 00:22:20,071 --> 00:22:22,156 All because Prince is still down there, right? 356 00:22:22,191 --> 00:22:24,241 That alone would be good enough reason for me! 357 00:22:24,407 --> 00:22:26,343 I think you should both go down there and stay. 358 00:22:26,378 --> 00:22:27,745 Oh, shut up, metal mouth! 359 00:22:27,945 --> 00:22:30,815 I'm sure the two of you would be perfectly happy there. 360 00:22:31,149 --> 00:22:33,184 Stan, turn the Lexx around. 361 00:22:34,085 --> 00:22:35,553 I'm sorry Xev. 362 00:22:36,721 --> 00:22:39,758 We'll find you a nice place later on, OK? 363 00:22:39,793 --> 00:22:41,994 With no Prince on it. I promise. 364 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,469 You low-grade idiot! 365 00:22:50,736 --> 00:22:51,869 What? 366 00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:53,907 Prince is still alive! 367 00:22:54,474 --> 00:22:55,707 Not only that, 368 00:22:55,742 --> 00:22:58,243 you just blew up Orlando! 369 00:22:58,278 --> 00:23:03,049 - I tried my best, sweetie. - Don't you call me sweetie, 370 00:23:03,084 --> 00:23:04,985 you little war hero! 371 00:23:06,921 --> 00:23:08,689 What are we gonna do, Reggie? 372 00:23:09,456 --> 00:23:10,756 I don't know. 373 00:23:10,791 --> 00:23:13,127 What are they gonna do to us when they find out? 374 00:23:14,128 --> 00:23:17,899 They're gonna take all this away - from me. 375 00:23:19,301 --> 00:23:22,971 You'll go to the electric chair, and I won't be First Lady any more. 376 00:23:24,105 --> 00:23:26,942 And what'll Prince do to us when he finds out? 377 00:23:27,609 --> 00:23:29,679 Finds out - what? 378 00:23:32,682 --> 00:23:36,552 - Prince! - Finds out - what? 379 00:23:36,786 --> 00:23:40,289 Oo - nothing 380 00:23:40,823 --> 00:23:43,460 - We thought you were in Miami. - Yes. 381 00:23:44,528 --> 00:23:46,029 Well I'm not 382 00:23:48,565 --> 00:23:50,032 Mr President - 383 00:23:50,067 --> 00:23:52,486 it appears that we've had a spot of bother, 384 00:23:52,521 --> 00:23:54,906 - in Orlando. - Yes, it's terrible, isn't it 385 00:23:54,941 --> 00:23:56,608 It's awful. All those 386 00:23:56,875 --> 00:23:58,977 cute little plastic animals melted 387 00:23:59,012 --> 00:24:01,079 and charred beyond recognition, well - 388 00:24:02,347 --> 00:24:04,249 Do we have any idea what happened yet? 389 00:24:05,783 --> 00:24:09,155 Oo, no. Maybe it just, um - exploded by itself? 390 00:24:09,388 --> 00:24:12,491 You know, one minute it's there, the next minute - pfft! 391 00:24:12,658 --> 00:24:15,394 Well that's an interesting theory, Mr President, 392 00:24:15,427 --> 00:24:17,897 but I doubt that the people will accept such an explanation. 393 00:24:18,364 --> 00:24:20,433 When something as terrible as this happens, 394 00:24:20,468 --> 00:24:22,000 someone must be seen to pay for it, 395 00:24:22,035 --> 00:24:24,037 otherwise the public will not be satisfied. 396 00:24:24,538 --> 00:24:25,705 And as you know - 397 00:24:25,939 --> 00:24:29,943 this is exactly the sort of incident that gets a presidency into trouble. 398 00:24:36,250 --> 00:24:39,103 You're absolutely right, Isambard. 399 00:24:39,138 --> 00:24:41,956 Our very presidency is at stake - 400 00:24:42,790 --> 00:24:45,527 and it's far too big a matter for our moronic 401 00:24:45,562 --> 00:24:47,496 president to take care of. 402 00:24:48,597 --> 00:24:49,898 I have a plan, 403 00:24:51,166 --> 00:24:53,268 to turn this thing around. 404 00:24:57,607 --> 00:25:00,109 Leaving this planet without any idea where we are going 405 00:25:00,144 --> 00:25:02,744 is not a very bright decision. 406 00:25:02,779 --> 00:25:04,646 Too bad, I'm captain and you're not. 407 00:25:04,681 --> 00:25:06,916 You may not be able to reach a life bearing planet 408 00:25:06,951 --> 00:25:09,185 unless the Lexx eats, Stanley. 409 00:25:09,220 --> 00:25:11,522 Well, what do you care, you're dead. 410 00:25:12,089 --> 00:25:14,825 You and Xev however are alive. 411 00:25:15,259 --> 00:25:17,193 It could take the Lexx many thousands of years 412 00:25:17,228 --> 00:25:19,530 to reach a suitable planet in its weakened condition. 413 00:25:19,930 --> 00:25:22,032 You will of course choose to enter cryosleep, 414 00:25:22,067 --> 00:25:24,636 but the cryopods may not continue to function properly 415 00:25:24,671 --> 00:25:25,969 for that length of time. 416 00:25:26,004 --> 00:25:29,241 OK then, I'll let the Lexx eat. 417 00:25:31,910 --> 00:25:33,143 Lexx - 418 00:25:33,178 --> 00:25:35,213 is there something down there, 419 00:25:35,248 --> 00:25:36,883 small enough you can eat that's enough 420 00:25:36,918 --> 00:25:39,285 to keep you going at full speed? 421 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:40,918 Yes, Stanley - 422 00:25:40,953 --> 00:25:43,154 I will be able to go full speed 423 00:25:43,189 --> 00:25:47,127 if I ate just that small little part of the blue planet. 424 00:25:47,294 --> 00:25:51,165 It has lots of green goodness and yummy protein, 425 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,665 and not too many hard rocks. 426 00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:57,638 That land mass the Lexx is referring to is a country called Holland. 427 00:25:58,105 --> 00:26:02,243 - Fine. Lexx - I order you to eat - - Wait a second - 428 00:26:02,510 --> 00:26:05,046 if that's a country, then doesn't it possibly have lots of people? 429 00:26:05,747 --> 00:26:07,914 Holland appears to be densely populated - 430 00:26:07,949 --> 00:26:10,435 which means it would supply Lexx with plenty of protein. 431 00:26:10,470 --> 00:26:12,922 Stan, you can't order the Lexx to just eat a country - 432 00:26:12,957 --> 00:26:15,875 - that's mass murder. - Well, that maybe 433 00:26:15,910 --> 00:26:18,794 technically speaking it's mass murder, 434 00:26:18,828 --> 00:26:21,330 - but - - It's wrong Stanley, and you know it. 435 00:26:21,365 --> 00:26:23,532 It's a Type 13 planet, 436 00:26:23,567 --> 00:26:25,936 Xev, it's doomed anyway! Lexx, 437 00:26:25,971 --> 00:26:28,305 I order you to eat Holland! 438 00:26:28,340 --> 00:26:30,238 As you request, Stan - 439 00:26:30,273 --> 00:26:33,977 and thank you. Holland looks very, very tasty. 440 00:26:45,056 --> 00:26:46,057 Kai - 441 00:26:47,058 --> 00:26:49,761 if I asked you to, would you kill Stanley? 442 00:26:49,796 --> 00:26:50,794 Hey! 443 00:26:50,829 --> 00:26:53,165 If you kill Stan, the key will come back to me, right? 444 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,334 - Hey, hey, hey, hey! - Yes. 445 00:26:55,868 --> 00:26:57,920 If I kill Stan the key will flow to you 446 00:26:57,955 --> 00:27:00,015 and you will become captain of the Lexx. 447 00:27:00,050 --> 00:27:02,040 Oh come on, but you wouldn't really do that 448 00:27:02,075 --> 00:27:04,844 would you, Kai old buddy old pal, you wouldn't kill me, 449 00:27:04,879 --> 00:27:06,845 I mean, you're a former assassin, 450 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:08,513 - right? - Although I have no feeling 451 00:27:08,548 --> 00:27:11,182 for the people of Holland, I am aware that morally speaking 452 00:27:11,217 --> 00:27:15,322 it is not right to sacrifice a whole nation for one man's individual gain. 453 00:27:15,422 --> 00:27:16,856 Therefore, 454 00:27:16,891 --> 00:27:20,327 if Xev were to ask me to - I would. 455 00:27:20,661 --> 00:27:23,898 OK Kai, I order you - not to kill me. 456 00:27:24,732 --> 00:27:26,433 So if Xev asks you to kill me, 457 00:27:26,468 --> 00:27:28,570 the two orders cancel each other out, right? 458 00:27:28,937 --> 00:27:29,971 Yes - 459 00:27:30,338 --> 00:27:33,308 but your choice to destroy Holland tips the scales. 460 00:27:34,042 --> 00:27:37,312 So, if Xev asks me to - 461 00:27:38,247 --> 00:27:40,283 I will kill you, Stanley. 462 00:27:40,483 --> 00:27:42,285 Turn the Lexx around, Stan. 463 00:27:43,719 --> 00:27:45,186 - No. - Yes. 464 00:27:45,221 --> 00:27:47,824 Kill them both Kai! That's my vote. 465 00:27:47,859 --> 00:27:48,856 Oh, shut up! 466 00:27:48,891 --> 00:27:51,261 Come on now guys, this isn't funny anymore, 467 00:27:51,595 --> 00:27:54,381 OK? Look, we can't stay here, and we can't go 468 00:27:54,416 --> 00:27:57,167 unless the Lexx eats. What choice do we have? 469 00:27:57,768 --> 00:27:58,836 Xev? 470 00:28:00,003 --> 00:28:03,908 - Lexx - seal the bridge! - As you command, Stan. 471 00:28:05,977 --> 00:28:07,846 I didn't know the Lexx could do that. 472 00:28:08,379 --> 00:28:10,915 Oh Lexx my friend, 473 00:28:11,049 --> 00:28:13,952 you are so full of surprises! 474 00:28:15,488 --> 00:28:16,722 OK guys - 475 00:28:17,656 --> 00:28:20,793 I'm not gonna let you out until you promise not to kill me, OK? 476 00:28:21,260 --> 00:28:22,394 Guys? 477 00:28:23,295 --> 00:28:25,698 Look, I'm doing this for your own good. 478 00:28:25,733 --> 00:28:27,868 Do you wish me to kill Stanley? 479 00:28:28,568 --> 00:28:29,634 What about this? 480 00:28:29,669 --> 00:28:33,039 Such barriers are not meaningful to a Divine Assassin. 481 00:28:33,473 --> 00:28:36,076 OK guys - do I win, or what? 482 00:28:41,115 --> 00:28:44,218 Lexx - I command you not to eat Holland! 483 00:28:44,385 --> 00:28:47,288 But I'm very hungry, Stan. 484 00:28:47,455 --> 00:28:48,821 Sorry Lexx - 485 00:28:48,856 --> 00:28:51,927 turn around and get out of this solar system as fast as you can. 486 00:28:51,962 --> 00:28:55,497 Oh - all right. 487 00:29:12,015 --> 00:29:15,285 We invited you, our country's senior journalists, 488 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,186 to come to the Oval Office today 489 00:29:17,221 --> 00:29:20,891 so that the President could brief you privately on the tragedy at Orlando. 490 00:29:21,659 --> 00:29:23,127 - Mr President - - Yes. 491 00:29:25,196 --> 00:29:27,531 Thank you, Isambard. Ladies and gentlemen - 492 00:29:28,199 --> 00:29:34,439 we have got a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad situation here, but 493 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:39,411 we found a way to save the presidency, yes - it's a good day. 494 00:29:39,578 --> 00:29:42,248 What the President is saying, ladies and gentlemen, 495 00:29:42,949 --> 00:29:46,085 is that we have learned who is responsible for Orlando. 496 00:29:46,152 --> 00:29:47,220 We have the proof. 497 00:29:48,221 --> 00:29:49,188 Right here. 498 00:29:49,589 --> 00:29:51,224 Why don't you play it for them Reggie? 499 00:29:52,425 --> 00:29:53,259 Right. 500 00:29:55,028 --> 00:29:57,998 This tape was found by ATF agents 501 00:29:58,532 --> 00:30:01,101 in another political party's head office, 502 00:30:01,401 --> 00:30:05,072 one hour before Orlando was wiped out. 503 00:30:09,644 --> 00:30:11,012 This is 504 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:13,713 General Juan Pinata - 505 00:30:13,748 --> 00:30:16,684 - That's - that's a Cuban general! - It is the destiny of 506 00:30:16,719 --> 00:30:19,355 - It's outrageous. - Cuba to read the world 507 00:30:19,455 --> 00:30:21,524 of the Yankee capitalistos, 508 00:30:22,091 --> 00:30:24,460 who always blame Cuba for everything. 509 00:30:25,494 --> 00:30:28,864 And so, in one hour 510 00:30:29,598 --> 00:30:33,537 we will use one of our Russian warheads from 1961 511 00:30:34,804 --> 00:30:37,340 to blow up the city of Orlando - 512 00:30:38,308 --> 00:30:40,510 Florida, America - 513 00:30:41,945 --> 00:30:43,748 in one hour. 514 00:30:44,482 --> 00:30:46,884 We may blow up other cities after this one, we may not, 515 00:30:46,919 --> 00:30:47,885 you never know. 516 00:30:48,286 --> 00:30:50,555 Because you are all stupid Yankee pig-dogs. 517 00:30:50,888 --> 00:30:51,923 I spit on you! 518 00:30:55,994 --> 00:30:57,429 Death to America! 519 00:30:58,263 --> 00:31:01,667 Death to stupid Yankee pig-dogs in Orlando! 520 00:31:07,873 --> 00:31:09,576 It was Cuba after all. 521 00:31:11,311 --> 00:31:13,446 Wasn't that the Washington Monument in the background? 522 00:31:13,646 --> 00:31:16,449 I think that was the Che Guevara Monument in Havana. 523 00:31:16,484 --> 00:31:18,551 How will you respond to this, Mr President? 524 00:31:21,222 --> 00:31:22,690 Just throw me the damn football. 525 00:31:28,796 --> 00:31:30,596 We'll show them who's boss. 526 00:31:30,631 --> 00:31:32,733 To authorise the launch codes, simply place your hand 527 00:31:32,768 --> 00:31:33,969 here, Mr President. 528 00:31:34,636 --> 00:31:37,839 I hereby authorise launch codes for Operation Cigarillo. 529 00:31:41,109 --> 00:31:42,744 Adios, Cuba 530 00:31:46,482 --> 00:31:48,751 America will respect you, Mr President. 531 00:31:48,951 --> 00:31:50,284 You've done the right thing. 532 00:31:50,319 --> 00:31:52,688 No foreign greaseball's gonna push us around. 533 00:31:53,055 --> 00:31:55,725 It's strong leadership at the right time, 534 00:31:56,092 --> 00:31:58,095 from a real war hero. 535 00:32:01,832 --> 00:32:04,334 I swear that was the Washington Monument. 536 00:32:04,601 --> 00:32:06,703 Have you seen my butterfly room? 537 00:32:09,273 --> 00:32:11,576 You'll love it. I'm very good - 538 00:32:12,110 --> 00:32:13,678 with butterflies. 539 00:32:25,658 --> 00:32:28,027 Here are some of the stories we're following for tonight's 540 00:32:28,062 --> 00:32:29,760 edition of News Plus. 541 00:32:29,795 --> 00:32:32,698 The Dow Jones is up 456 points. 542 00:32:33,132 --> 00:32:35,201 Fire fighters have been called in to retrieve 543 00:32:35,236 --> 00:32:38,138 a cat stuck in a power line along I95. 544 00:32:38,538 --> 00:32:39,871 Film at 11- 545 00:32:39,906 --> 00:32:42,225 and Cuba was nuked off the face of the Earth 546 00:32:42,260 --> 00:32:44,544 late this afternoon by President Priest, 547 00:32:44,611 --> 00:32:47,782 in retaliation for yesterday's evil attack on Orlando. 548 00:32:48,182 --> 00:32:50,484 There has been no reaction so far from Havana. 549 00:32:50,785 --> 00:32:54,455 All this, and your late local forecast, coming up on News Plus. 550 00:32:58,092 --> 00:32:58,958 Yes? 551 00:32:58,993 --> 00:33:02,030 Sir, this is NASA. We thought we should inform you that our 552 00:33:02,065 --> 00:33:04,566 readings indicate that the Lexx at this moment 553 00:33:04,601 --> 00:33:06,935 has started moving away from the Earth. 554 00:33:26,056 --> 00:33:27,124 Prince! 555 00:33:27,458 --> 00:33:30,294 Hello, Stanley. It's nice to see you. 556 00:33:30,861 --> 00:33:33,197 And Kai - and Xev, 557 00:33:33,731 --> 00:33:36,117 you as well of course. So, 558 00:33:36,152 --> 00:33:38,328 we're leaving Earth, are we? 559 00:33:38,363 --> 00:33:40,505 - We are. - That's a shame. 560 00:33:40,540 --> 00:33:42,407 Well, yes and no. 561 00:33:42,741 --> 00:33:43,775 How so? 562 00:33:43,875 --> 00:33:47,445 All I can say is that I'm happy to be flying away from you. 563 00:33:47,579 --> 00:33:50,483 Ah but Stanley, this planet is just so much fun. 564 00:33:50,518 --> 00:33:53,553 Well, some of us don't find it fun to be - 565 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,187 pinned to a wall and almost killed! 566 00:33:56,222 --> 00:33:58,357 Well that was just a little misunderstanding! 567 00:33:58,991 --> 00:34:01,594 Do you mind telling me exactly where you're going? 568 00:34:01,629 --> 00:34:04,464 The plan is we're going to drift in space, 569 00:34:04,499 --> 00:34:06,300 until we find a nice planet. 570 00:34:06,335 --> 00:34:07,933 That's a good plan. 571 00:34:07,968 --> 00:34:10,103 You must have worked on that for a long time. 572 00:34:10,138 --> 00:34:12,239 Well, we wouldn't have to drift if the Lexx 573 00:34:12,274 --> 00:34:14,876 came down there and at Washington DC, 574 00:34:14,911 --> 00:34:17,478 - and you with it. - Well why don't you? 575 00:34:17,513 --> 00:34:18,778 Well we just might. 576 00:34:18,813 --> 00:34:21,082 I think you should stay, Stanley. 577 00:34:21,716 --> 00:34:24,319 How would you like to be Vice President? 578 00:34:24,354 --> 00:34:25,785 Yeah, right, what's that? 579 00:34:25,820 --> 00:34:28,524 A very important position, with all the perks 580 00:34:28,559 --> 00:34:30,626 and privileges you could ever want. 581 00:34:30,661 --> 00:34:31,692 No deal. 582 00:34:31,727 --> 00:34:34,029 Xev - you could be Queen of England. 583 00:34:34,363 --> 00:34:36,530 She's not interested! 584 00:34:36,565 --> 00:34:39,436 The Queen of England owns her own beautiful island 585 00:34:39,471 --> 00:34:41,589 full of gardens and antiques. 586 00:34:41,624 --> 00:34:43,672 The position is currently filled, 587 00:34:43,707 --> 00:34:46,676 but all it would take to free it up would be a couple of phone calls. 588 00:34:46,711 --> 00:34:51,281 She is not interested in gardens or antiques! 589 00:34:51,316 --> 00:34:53,084 Then what do you care about, Stanley? 590 00:34:53,119 --> 00:34:55,187 Why do you want us to stay, Prince? 591 00:34:55,222 --> 00:34:57,289 - Because I do. - The fact is Prince, 592 00:34:57,324 --> 00:34:59,141 as long as you are on that planet, 593 00:34:59,176 --> 00:35:01,201 we don't want anything to do with it. 594 00:35:01,236 --> 00:35:03,227 - Oh, that stings. - I have an idea - 595 00:35:03,794 --> 00:35:07,232 Kai, would you kill Prince if we both asked you to? 596 00:35:08,834 --> 00:35:10,934 - Yes. - Yeah Kai, you could go down to Earth 597 00:35:10,969 --> 00:35:14,740 and do your assassin thing on somebody who really deserves it. 598 00:35:14,775 --> 00:35:18,011 Yes, Kai, go down to Earth and kill Prince. 599 00:35:18,046 --> 00:35:20,411 Ah. There's one small 600 00:35:20,446 --> 00:35:22,882 tiny little flaw in your thinking. 601 00:35:22,917 --> 00:35:24,549 - Which is -? - You forget, 602 00:35:24,584 --> 00:35:27,587 I'm the head of the most powerful institution on this planet - 603 00:35:27,820 --> 00:35:30,291 The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms 604 00:35:30,326 --> 00:35:31,790 of the United States of America, 605 00:35:31,825 --> 00:35:34,828 and as such, I have an immense capacity 606 00:35:34,863 --> 00:35:37,715 to protect myself. I can hide away 607 00:35:37,750 --> 00:35:40,568 so that you would never, ever find me. 608 00:35:40,734 --> 00:35:42,771 - Is that a problem? - No. 609 00:35:43,972 --> 00:35:47,209 As a Divine Assassin I performed many difficult assassinations. 610 00:35:47,244 --> 00:35:51,146 For instance, Ring Torbin, the rebel leader on Phoebe 27. 611 00:35:51,413 --> 00:35:54,550 Ring Torbin buried himself deep inside the molten core of the planet. 612 00:35:54,851 --> 00:35:56,551 He was protected by fifty thousand men 613 00:35:56,586 --> 00:35:59,222 - with robot controlled ion weapons. - And -? 614 00:36:00,256 --> 00:36:03,893 I had to kill 2,807 of his men before I killed him. 615 00:36:04,093 --> 00:36:06,528 - Ha, ha! - I can eliminate Prince 616 00:36:06,563 --> 00:36:08,765 with complete certainty in a short time. 617 00:36:08,932 --> 00:36:11,284 And if you kill me, what then? 618 00:36:11,319 --> 00:36:13,637 You know I can be reborn, whenever 619 00:36:13,672 --> 00:36:15,537 and however I want. 620 00:36:15,572 --> 00:36:17,708 That was true on the planet Fire - 621 00:36:17,975 --> 00:36:19,944 - but is it true on Earth? - Yes. 622 00:36:21,312 --> 00:36:22,378 I think so. 623 00:36:22,413 --> 00:36:24,315 It can't be true on Earth. 624 00:36:25,316 --> 00:36:28,419 Look - he's scared! 625 00:36:29,087 --> 00:36:31,490 - You're scared, aren't you Prince? - Year, 626 00:36:32,024 --> 00:36:34,592 - Xev is right. - You know that when you destroyed 627 00:36:34,627 --> 00:36:37,696 the planet Fire all of its evil including me came here, 628 00:36:37,731 --> 00:36:39,431 so it makes no difference. 629 00:36:39,765 --> 00:36:43,035 This planet will be just as bad whether I live or die. 630 00:36:43,070 --> 00:36:45,772 I'm just a drop in an ocean of badness - 631 00:36:45,807 --> 00:36:48,139 or, rather, more of a bucketful. 632 00:36:48,174 --> 00:36:49,941 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're wrong. 633 00:36:49,976 --> 00:36:52,611 You're just trying to talk us out of killing you. 634 00:36:52,646 --> 00:36:56,217 - On the contrary, I'm right. - Kai, do you think he's right? 635 00:36:57,885 --> 00:36:58,920 Yes. 636 00:37:01,722 --> 00:37:04,325 So - good luck on your journey. 637 00:37:04,825 --> 00:37:07,795 You'll need it. Cheerie bye. 638 00:37:08,095 --> 00:37:09,998 Bye, bye, little blue planet. 639 00:37:21,644 --> 00:37:23,980 - You don't look happy, my prince. - I'm not. 640 00:37:24,647 --> 00:37:26,649 Why did you blow up Orlando? 641 00:37:27,083 --> 00:37:28,351 Er - what do you mean? 642 00:37:28,985 --> 00:37:32,522 I know that you got Stanley Tweedle to blow up Orlando. 643 00:37:33,457 --> 00:37:37,328 My only question is, precisely why? 644 00:37:39,763 --> 00:37:42,900 Just to cause trouble, my prince, you know, screw things up, 645 00:37:42,935 --> 00:37:45,069 create chaos, just like you always want. 646 00:37:45,104 --> 00:37:46,137 Really? 647 00:37:47,672 --> 00:37:50,608 - Mm hmm. - I think you wanted to get rid of me - 648 00:37:50,643 --> 00:37:53,545 - Oo no, no. - and you thought I was in Miami, 649 00:37:53,678 --> 00:37:55,345 - didn't you? - Well, yes, but - 650 00:37:55,380 --> 00:37:58,451 and you got Stanley Tweedle to fire one of the Lexx's shots at me, 651 00:37:58,718 --> 00:38:01,387 only it missed and took out Orlando. 652 00:38:01,654 --> 00:38:03,389 Am I getting warm? 653 00:38:04,524 --> 00:38:05,825 I don't know what to say. 654 00:38:08,928 --> 00:38:11,698 You say "You're right, my prince". 655 00:38:11,932 --> 00:38:14,000 You're right, my prince - but, 656 00:38:14,035 --> 00:38:16,069 but it was the First Lady's idea! 657 00:38:16,103 --> 00:38:18,238 All hers. 658 00:38:18,273 --> 00:38:20,374 Only hers! 659 00:38:22,142 --> 00:38:23,710 Forgive me, my prince. 660 00:38:23,745 --> 00:38:26,147 I'm not very good at forgiveness. 661 00:38:27,048 --> 00:38:29,584 Especially as your little prank has stranded me 662 00:38:29,619 --> 00:38:32,037 on this planet. Because of you, 663 00:38:32,072 --> 00:38:34,455 I'm stuck here, do you understand? 664 00:38:38,827 --> 00:38:40,494 You have to be punished. 665 00:38:40,529 --> 00:38:43,465 Yes of course my prince, I deserve it. What is my punishment? 666 00:38:43,632 --> 00:38:46,135 Have you ever been to Dallas? 667 00:38:47,837 --> 00:38:48,905 What's Dallas? 668 00:38:50,373 --> 00:38:52,943 I'm aware that this is not the usual protocol, 669 00:38:52,978 --> 00:38:55,210 but I am issuing a specific order 670 00:38:55,245 --> 00:38:58,315 for the Secret Service, the CIA, the FBI 671 00:38:58,350 --> 00:39:01,385 and the Dallas police to stand down. 672 00:39:01,886 --> 00:39:02,954 Thank you. 673 00:39:04,689 --> 00:39:06,824 So, Mr President - 674 00:39:06,991 --> 00:39:09,759 - welcome to Dallas. - What a dump? 675 00:39:09,794 --> 00:39:13,332 True - but Dallas plays an important part in American history. 676 00:39:13,367 --> 00:39:15,051 - Is that right? - Hmm. 677 00:39:15,086 --> 00:39:16,735 Have you ever heard of JFK? 678 00:39:16,770 --> 00:39:18,402 No, er, maybe. 679 00:39:18,437 --> 00:39:20,539 22nd of November 1963? 680 00:39:20,772 --> 00:39:23,342 - Should I have? - Well, once upon a time, 681 00:39:23,377 --> 00:39:26,112 there was this president called JFK. 682 00:39:26,679 --> 00:39:28,648 And this president had a very bad habit 683 00:39:28,683 --> 00:39:30,701 of not following orders - too. 684 00:39:30,736 --> 00:39:32,684 - Oo - that's not good? - No. 685 00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:34,687 Consequently he had to be punished - 686 00:39:35,054 --> 00:39:38,025 just about here, as a matter of fact. 687 00:39:40,528 --> 00:39:41,529 Oh. Oh! 688 00:39:42,229 --> 00:39:43,230 What? 689 00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:45,332 - Oh no. - What? 690 00:39:45,833 --> 00:39:48,234 Quick - change seats! 691 00:39:48,269 --> 00:39:51,139 - Why? - Don't argue with me, just do it! 692 00:39:54,843 --> 00:39:56,309 And I've brought you here because 693 00:39:56,344 --> 00:39:59,180 I thought this would be a perfect spot to ask a question. 694 00:39:59,381 --> 00:40:01,248 - What question? - Do you think you 695 00:40:01,283 --> 00:40:04,020 - can follow orders? - Yes, yes, of course my prince - 696 00:40:04,055 --> 00:40:05,705 I will do anything you say. 697 00:40:05,740 --> 00:40:07,321 I wish I could believe you. 698 00:40:07,356 --> 00:40:09,258 Look, Reggie just agreed with you, what more do you want? 699 00:40:09,293 --> 00:40:11,394 - Now let's get going! - I really want to trust 700 00:40:11,429 --> 00:40:12,994 you Mr President, I really do. 701 00:40:13,029 --> 00:40:15,098 You can trust him, you can trust him! 702 00:40:15,133 --> 00:40:17,301 I'm speaking to the President. 703 00:40:17,935 --> 00:40:20,536 The lesson to be learnt here is that even kings 704 00:40:20,571 --> 00:40:23,941 can be killed. It's been that way for thousands of years. 705 00:40:23,976 --> 00:40:26,543 Regicide happens all the time - 706 00:40:27,212 --> 00:40:29,814 especially to the stupid ones, 707 00:40:30,181 --> 00:40:33,051 who don't know how to follow orders. 708 00:40:56,142 --> 00:41:00,580 War hero, my ass. 709 00:41:01,882 --> 00:41:03,984 - I think she's dead. - So sad. 710 00:41:04,019 --> 00:41:05,586 I'll get over it. 711 00:41:06,387 --> 00:41:08,656 A lesson well learned, wouldn't you say? 712 00:41:10,024 --> 00:41:13,127 We'll have to get you a new First Lady - time to trade up. 713 00:41:13,162 --> 00:41:15,329 Yes! Excellent idea, my prince. 714 00:41:15,596 --> 00:41:18,333 - I'll trade up. - And you'll always remember 715 00:41:18,368 --> 00:41:20,335 - who's in charge? - Yes. 716 00:41:21,970 --> 00:41:23,770 Yes of course, my prince. 717 00:41:23,805 --> 00:41:27,175 - You are my prince. - Yes, yes, yes, thank you. 718 00:41:43,294 --> 00:41:44,662 Yes. 719 00:41:49,833 --> 00:41:51,101 Come in. 720 00:41:56,575 --> 00:42:00,078 There's something wrong with my pussy, doctor. 721 00:42:01,313 --> 00:42:03,281 What seems to be the problem? 722 00:42:03,515 --> 00:42:05,284 Well, I don't know. 723 00:42:05,319 --> 00:42:07,287 He's gone off his food, 724 00:42:07,322 --> 00:42:09,255 he doesn't purr anymore - 725 00:42:09,689 --> 00:42:11,991 and he walks all stiffly. 726 00:42:12,692 --> 00:42:15,561 And sometimes he just flies 727 00:42:15,596 --> 00:42:18,431 round and round the room. 728 00:42:18,865 --> 00:42:21,718 - I beg your pardon? - He's not my 729 00:42:21,753 --> 00:42:24,897 precious little pussy Buttons anymore! 730 00:42:24,932 --> 00:42:28,041 Well, let's take a little look, shall we? 731 00:42:37,318 --> 00:42:38,586 So - 732 00:42:39,921 --> 00:42:44,126 - how's Buttons today, huh? - You gotta do something doctor. 733 00:42:44,526 --> 00:42:47,012 Oh yes, there seems to be something 734 00:42:47,047 --> 00:42:49,498 - a little off here. - What? What? 735 00:42:49,533 --> 00:42:51,665 There seems to be something 736 00:42:51,700 --> 00:42:55,437 - inside Buttons. - Oh no! Oh Buttons! 737 00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:57,274 Oh! 738 00:42:57,974 --> 00:42:58,875 No! 739 00:43:00,443 --> 00:43:06,446 Resync: Xenzai[NEF] 740 00:43:07,443 --> 00:43:10,446 Mikl, Bars 54810

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.