Original subtitles

Don't push!

Mind the lamps, wires, electricity, technicians...

Don't touch anything! Elves to make-up!

Darling, it's been so long!

Darling, you look gorgeous!

Charming...

Just a little dramatic accent...

He's ready.

Good morning everyone.

Creep!

12 o'clock: fitting ball dress.

2 o'clock: death scene make up.

It's so dark. Sweetie? - I'm on my way.

3 o'clock: fitting prostitute's dress.

Then the love scene will be filmed.

Then he'll come to discuss your contract.

Point 12B, you know.

Where are my cigarettes?

You still have to fit gloves for the crowd scene.

Look: my latest creation. Fashion!

Modern, yet classical. Wonderful, isn't it?

All for you!

You'll be a real star. -I am a real star!

Real gold, real silk and a real star. Heavenly!

Tadzio...

Darling...

I have a gift for my sweet little Tadzio.

It's lovely...

Treasure!

Do you like it?

make up... MAKE UP!

Is she deaf? What's her name?

It's union rules, ma'am. Please be patient.

Times have changed.

There's no glamour any more or respect.

Gnomes and dwarfs, stand-by...

How do you get it so hard and tight?

Make way for the diva's son!

Long gone for us!

Sit still, dear. Your eyebrows are so delicate.

Shall I depilate your chin too?

Stop it. You're torturing me. -It's your head

It'll get paid anyway.

Hi Giovanni. How's business?

Listen darling. Don't buy Alitalia but Olivetti!

I want nothing to do with Carlo Ponti.

I won't get out of bed for less than 10,000 dollars. I said DOLLARS!

Chubby chops knows very well. Call you later.

I think about you all the time.

Good morning, darlings.

You feel okay? Understand the contract?

There isn't much time.

Have you checked everything?

Not tomorrow. Today!

In 15 minutes. You hear me!? -So whisper it.

The financial risks, investments, paperwork...

Understand your contract? -Is my hair okay?

Please sign now. -Later...

I must hang up now.

Excuse me. I'm going to look for Tadzio.

Stupid hound!

What a mess...

Okay: down... lower... right...

Right boys, perfect...

Just what the director ordered.

- W.C. -

Right. Knock hard!

Disgraceful. We've been waiting for hours.

What a fairground. -Egotist! Cad!

Old cow, you're dangerous! -Coward!

The documents, please.

Please!

Have you seen Tadzio?

No! Leave me alone. Get lost!

Fishwife! I'm the boss.

I bring in the money.

You sit and do nothing all day...

...while I make a fool of myself here!

Ah, my big blond!

Stop it.I'm looking for Tadzio. -What? You have to come with me!

I don't have time to play with you.

Have you seen Tadzio?

No! Understood?!

I detest you! Enough!!

Tadzio, where are you?

Is Tadzio here? -No, he's not.

Is Tadzio here?

No...

What d'you want, silly bitch? Go away! Go away!!

This room is occupied.

I'm a healthy woman, 30 and well-qualified...

I'm looking for a strong man, prosperous...

I don't like smokers.

Has to be non-smoker. -...with his own house.

Will answer all letters with photos.

Is Tadzio here?

Lies!

Me? Old? Never!

Those breasts have seen better days.

Long legs are out. Short legs are in.

I have beautiful legs! -If only you shaved them!

Varicose veins, but not very.

A hair... on a wart! -Where are the corsets?

A spare type... -Exercise, my child.

100 strokes a day, love.

The contract... we don't have much time.

Stand still, or I'll prick you.

Feet too big for this dainty shoe.

Where's my son?

Much too thin.

Much too tall.

Terribly, awfully ugly.

Very good...

Put them a long way away. My allergy!

Flowers, always flowers.

What a beautiful coat. This little hair, that one...

Give me a cigarette.

Lovely dog. Not a flea in sight.

Have them look for Tadzio.

Here, treasure.

Keep out of it, imbecile!

Ugly nasty bastard!

Brothel creep!

You're perverted!

Wanker! Filthy old queen!

I hate you, I HATE YOU!

Little one!

Who's that? Tadzio! Come with your auntie, darling.

I have chocolate for you.

Stupid extras. Nothing but trouble.

Did you have to bring the boy?

Is this the right place for children?

And a child like that.

He doesn't understand anyway.

Don't underestimate him. Let's start.

Attention!

- T -

- A -

- D -

- Z -

- I -

- O -

TADZIO!

Put that there, old man.

Bloody mongol, get out of my sight!

Ugly cretin!

Hello. Minimum temperatures in Italy today...

Your lovely chin...

Your gorgeous cheeks

Your manly eyes.

You have your doubts? You don't listen.

How often do I have to say it...

Time is running out.

Just one moment... -Later!

Have you thought about the contract? You understood it?

You want to make films, but you're getting on.

Many went before you: Frank Sinatra, Nancy Reagan...

I'm sorry.

Can we sign the damn contracts now?

It determines the course of your career.

It's late, very late.

Now!

We can wait. -Now!

Let's straighten your clothes first.

Don't say what you saw, will you?

We have a little secret, the two of us.

I'll take you to Mum, for cookies and milk.

Or would you rather have spaghetti or pizza?

Aren't you hungry?

Don't forget, we have a secret.

Okay. Some other time. It's not really important.

Why?

WHY!

Translated by Martin Cleaver