Original subtitles

# Feels like... #

IAIN STIRLING: 'Previously...'

# I'm standing In a timeless dream... #

IAIN STIRLING: '..on Love Island.

'Love... was in the air.'

# I love you, always forever

# Near and far, closer together

# Everywhere, I will be with you

# Everything, I will do for you. #

IAIN STIRLING: 'And one girl's dreams came to an end.'

The girl I'd like to couple up with is...

Paige.

# I love you, always forever

# Near and far, closer together... # CHEERING

# Everywhere, I will be with you. #

GEMMA: 'And I'm so stupid, and I hate myself for this.'

IAIN STIRLING: 'Tonight...

'..get ready...

'..for two new...

'boys.'

'Jacques coupled up with Paige,

'meaning Afia's had to pack her Love Island suitcase and go.

'The suitcases are very roomy this year.

'They hold 20 outfits or, if you work at 10 Downing Street,

'30 bottles of Prosecco.'

# Some of us will drift apart

# While others stay together. #

Yeah, that was horrible.

I hate standing up there.

That was so intense. I feel so bad for her, though.

Yeah, she'll find someone on the outside, for sure.

She is an amazing girl.

# And though they're standing On our necks

# There's still the will To fight... #

I felt bad, but now I'm like...

Literally, no, it is what it is, innit? It's bittersweet.

Like, obviously, I'm chuffed that you picked me,

and, like, I'm still here. Aw!

But at the same time, I'm just like, "Oh, love her."

Of course, yeah. Mm.

I'm gonna miss her laugh, like, honestly.

You looked fit stood there, though. Did I?

I was literally looking at you stood there.

I was like, "Yeah, like..." SHE GIGGLES

BOTH LAUGH No, I am glad you picked me, though.

I would have been fuming if you didn't, to be fair.

I'm not standing there any more like that,

in, like, the bottom two. No, not doing it again.

But, honestly, I'm excited to be coupled up with him

and sharing a bed with him tonight, for sure.

Bruh! No, you nearly winded me!

Well, you're going into my stomach.

Wurgh! No! Ja... Erm... Luca, don't.

Shit! I didn't...

Did you nearly call him something else?

GEMMA LAUGHS Was it Joe?

I know what she said. Jacques?

Oh, my God, I need to tackle.

There is no way that happened, there's no way.

There is no way that happened. OK.

Easy mistake to make, hon.

I always do it when I get with new people. I'm like...

Shit. I feel so bad about that.

What happened? Have you said sorry?

I said, "Aw, stop it, Jacques."

And it was Luca.

And Jacques was stood, like, right next to me.

# I've been in the deep end

# Since I realised... #

That was bad, wasn't it? That was bad, I'm not gonna lie.

The fact he was stood there, too.

He was stood there, you had your guy rubbing your shoulders.

He's stood there and you're like, "Oh, Jacques."

DAMI: Oh, my God.

That was awkward.

SHE SIGHS Aw, God. That was bad.

That was bad.

# I cannot live like this no more

# Filling a lifetime with remorse. #

You heard that, yeah? Yeah, of course I heard it.

What? She called me Jacques.

He was rubbing her shoulders, giving her a massage,

and she goes, "Stop, Jacques." No way!

"No way." That's what I said, as well. No!

I just can't be arsed. I can't do that.

I'm not gonna lie, I can't do that.

I actually can't be arsed. I might just go to bed.

I can't do that. Is that why you walked away?

No, just ain't a bit of me. It's like...

Imagine if I called her my ex's name,

let alone them standing next to you as well.

What a nightmare.

How's any other fella feeling after that?

And then he's standing next to you as well.

It's even more rewarding for him, the smirky prick.

HE LAUGHS

Mate, you need to apologise to him.

Oh, I know. I'm going to. Aw, yeah, sweet.

JACQUES AND GEMMA LAUGH

What are you like, eh? What are you like?

I was stood next to you, you know.

"Stop it, Jacques." Oh, girl, no!

I literally looked up, like, "Oh, you didn't just say that.

"Oh, my God, I'm off."

I know, it was bad. He's going to be fuming, isn't he?

CLEARS HIS THROAT He won't be. Nah, he won't be.

I'm fuming. Mm.

I wouldn't think into it, mate.

No, I wouldn't think into it. Exactly.

No, but, mate, every time I see them together,

it just makes me think anyway, so it just wound me up even more.

That's not cool, though, man. Yeah.

LAUGHING: Like... Nah, you can't really tell her off.

I don't get what I can do. It just wound me up a bit.

She just has to apologise.

Shit, I need to stop laughing, cos it's actually not funny.

That's how you deal with things. You laugh in arguments.

That's what annoyed me, so that'll annoy him.

So don't laugh when you're speaking to him.

'I mean, she would have felt awful straightaway.'

So I was like, I'll go see if she's all right.

I just grabbed her and was like, "Apologise straightaway."

I can guarantee they're together now.

How do you want Jacques to behave, though?

He's behaving fine, mate. What's he done wrong?

That's what I mean. He can't do anything about it.

What's he done wrong?

Oh! Right.

On a scale of one to ten, how bad do you think that was?

It don't matter how bad it was. It matters how angry he is with it,

you know what I mean? Yeah. That's what matters.

All right? Yeah, good, you?

Yeah, not bad, not bad. Is he fuming?

Not for me to say, really. I told you he was fuming.

I told you he was fuming.

I told you I'll have your back as well, you know what I mean?

I'll always have your back, mate. I'll look after you. Oh, God!

Just go grab him and apologise, yeah?

Don't worry.

LUCA: I just can't be arsed, man. Mm.

There you go. What did I say? All right, man.

Huh? No, no, no.

Don't let it affect you. What do you mean, Dam?

It's weird, mate.

DAMI MUTTERS

Huh? She's here.

She's gonna grab you.

What are you saying, G? All right? Come on.

What? We need to talk.

Where? Anywhere.

Yeah, it's nothing.

How come you and Jacques were inside together?

Cos I went to the toilets, and then, when I came out,

he was stood there at the top of the stairs.

You didn't have a conversation with him? No, we did.

OK. About what?

Well, he said that you weren't happy, and that...

But that's not a conversation for him to be having, is it?

OK, well, the point of it is, I obviously didn't mean to say...

Nah, you didn't mean to. ..his name.

Why would you mean to? Well, exactly.

So it was a genuine mistake.

But... it was an accident. Makes it weirder for me

that, two minutes later, you were with your ex inside.

How?

What do you mean, how? You just called me Jacques,

and then you two were inside together.

Why would that not be weird? I am not...

Don't roll your eyes and be a prick, cos I'm not, like...

I'll come to you and say,

"I'm in the wrong, it was a mistake."

I have no feelings for him,

I have no interest in getting back with him.

You wanna carry on like...

then I'm not interested in having an argument with you.

It was a genuine mistake, I'm sorry.

I can appreciate you feeling angry. That's all I have to say.

So you're just gonna go?

There's nothing more to it. Why you getting worked up?

I'm not getting worked up! But don't piss me off.

Stop being silly, sit down. No, but I'm, like...

Stop being silly, sit down. Sit down.

Why, what else have you got to say? All right, nothing.

Go on, then. What else do you wanna say?

Well, I don't wanna argue or leave it on a bad note.

Sit down. Well, I don't want to, either.

Well, take a seat, then.

So, shall we go, or do you still wanna sit here?

I'm quite happy here.

SHE LAUGHS

Argh!

It's uncomfortable, but it is what it is,

and it ain't gonna stop me wanting to get to know you.

Well, Gemma just smiled at me, basically,

and it's all done, happy days (!)

Nah, nah. She apologised, obviously, and we move on,

live another day with her ex right next to us.

Lovely, happy days (!) Who would've thought, eh?

You can break the two-metre rule now.

IAIN STIRLING: 'Guys, we've all been there.

'During an intimate moment recently, I screamed someone else's name!

'I swear to God, I wasn't even thinking about Jurgen Klopp!

'Still, at least Andrew and Tasha are getting along.'

Do you have a fetish?

No, I don't really have a fetish, no.

OK, that's fine, that's a no, then. Do you?

Nah. OK.

Your fantasy is on a boat. Yeah.

You haven't told me your fantasy. My fantasy, I said you just gotta...

A girl to be in control. ..dominate.

Just tie me up and do whatever.

THEY LAUGH

Yeah, but where? Oh, nowhere. I don't really care.

I think, like, it's not, like, a fantasy,

but I think it would be quite cool to see, like... on a plane.

Like a... Yeah, but in a cubicle? I reckon I could do it, you know.

Yeah, I'm not surprised.

You've done it in a nightclub toilet.

No, but what I'm saying is, if we got an overnight flight,

I think it'd be very easy.

Oh, yeah! You know when you, like, go to Australia? Mm-hm.

Or even, like, those overnight flights... Yeah.

..and everyone goes asleep, the air hostesses, like...

Is it all like that, or do you have to be flying first class

to have those beds? Oh, for those beds?

Yeah, you have to be business class. But, no, I wasn't saying that.

You were gonna just do it in the bed,

next to people next to you?! You all right?! Jeez, Louise!

Yeah, but you're hidden, though, aren't you?

Er, I don't know about business class.

No-one can see you. I know, like...

Where are you saying, then? In the toilet, obviously.

Ew, no! All right, fine.

We'll have to get first class.

Get that out of your head, cos we're not doing that.

We'll do it, like, classy, d'you know what I mean?

We'll share a little aeroplane bed and just do it on the sly!

Do it on the sly. OK, that's ideal. We'll do that.

Today, I've seen such a different side to Andrew.

Like, he's just been so much more, like, spicy.

Like, he's been flirty... I don't know.

Something in him's giving me more, like, oomph.

'This is what I've been waiting for, is this sexy Andrew!'

I'm, like, "Yes!"

That is just what I wanted all along.

IAIN STIRLING: 'S-Sorry, just sending a text to my agent.

' "Please ensure that I am not sat

' "next to Andrew and Tasha on the flight home."

'Oh, and talking of texts...'

I love trouble. It's great. TEXT ALERT

Oh! Oh, shit.

OK, why have I just got a text? Ooh!

Stop it! Ooh!

IKENNA LAUGHS Read it out!

Are you joking?! Ah!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Tasha and Andrew!

Natasha and Andrew!

ALL: Natasha and Andrew! What, really?

Listen, if you want me to go, I ain't saying no, like.

I'll go, I'll go.

Ah!

I'm in the first Hideaway of 2022!

I am so excited. I've literally been manifesting this moment.

I know it's only been a week, but, you know, I am very excited.

But I'm going to be good, though,

I'm going to be sensible. I'm going to be a good girl.

But it would be nice just to have a little bit of time together.

WHOOPING

# Hideaway, Hideaway, Hideaway Hideaway! #

Come on, Hideaway!

First Hideaway, guy! Yeah, yeah.

WHOOPING

My dad is actually gonna, like, scream a bit.

Well, Andrew's very lucky.

Listen, mate, I want a story tomorrow.

No just like, "Oh, we just have a nice kiss and went to sleep."

We need a story.

Are you nervous, Tash? Yeah, I'm shitting it.

Are you? Yeah!

There's no sexier place in the world other than the Hideaway.

WOLF WHISTLING, CHEERING

Into the Hideaway! THEY LAUGH

WHOOPING

Oh! Oh, my God!

This is a bit naughty, isn't it?

Jeez. Oh, my gosh!

Oi, this is comfy.

# You don't have to do much... #

SHE LAUGHS

# Baby... #

Yeah, you could definitely wear those. That's naughty.

# I say, ooh... #

Yeah, definitely liking that.

Yeah.

LUCA: Guys, just to let you know, I've left Flat Ted by the door

because you forgot about him, all right?

Thank you! SHE LAUGHS

Luca.

BOTH LAUGH Cheers, geezer.

I'm excited to actually come in and... see you in bed.

Yeah, definitely, me too. Definitely.

# Oh, I say, ooh

# I'm blinded by the lights

# No, I can't sleep

# Until I feel your touch

# I said, ooh... #

Fucking hell! SHE LAUGHS