Original subtitles

[screaming]

-I've been looking for you, baby.

-Oh, God.

No.

Oh, God.

[indistinct]

Oh, great. Great, Beverly.

Oh, that was terrific, honey.

I was scared to death.

You were beautiful. Great.

- I just hope the audience feels the same way.

-They'll love it. Thank you.

-Thank you. -Come on, let's go over here.

-Thank you. -Next setup, please.

Listen, kill the Obie and reload the camera.

-Yes, but what was my motivation?

-Say the lines. -Good job, Jane.

-That one really knocked them out --

-Oh. [giggling]

-Jane. -Hi, Bev.

-Oh, Janey, it's so good to see you. -Oh my God.

Oh, it's so good to see you.

You were perfect.

Gosh, I was scared for you.

-Come on, let's go talk. Come into my dressing room.

-Okay. -Oh, super.

-All right.

[upbeat music]

- I think you're a very good model.

-You're a great artist. Great artist.

Yeah.

-Do it to me.

-Very nice.

I'll teach you how to paint yet.

Lots of tubes of color.

-Don't want to use too much paint.

-Oh, yeah.

[heavy breathing]

[moaning]

-I'm cumming again now.

[moaning]

-Oh, yeah.

[moaning]

-I'm good with my hands.

I think I'll make some more, though.

Think you can do that again soon?

[knocking]

-Here, keep this propped up for me.

This won't take long.

Janey, how are you? -Hi, Vee.

-What a surprise. -Oh, it's so good to see you.

-How you been? -All right. How about yourself?

-Real good. Real good.

-Listen, I'm afraid I got a bit of bad news for you.

Sue's in a lot of trouble and she needs our help.

Do you think you might be able to take a trip?

-Oh, of course, anything for Sue.

-Okay. I thought so.

Here's the plane tickets.

Now, the flight leaves tomorrow.

-Okay, I'll make it.

Sure.

-Yes.

Hey, how's your work cumming along?

-It's cumming often enough.

-Yes, governor.

You're just going to love this new girl we have for you.

No, she's not a rock star.

She can't roller skate for shit,

but she's got big tits.

I thought you'd like that.

Yes, tonight.

Bye-bye, governor.

Politicians are so peculiar.

-And such good business.

[bell ringing]

-Yes?

-There's a Jane Mohr here to see you, Ms. Carson.

-Janey?

I can't believe it.

-Wait, Harvey.

Just hold for one sec.

Oh, perfect.

[upbeat music]

[camera shutter clicking]

-Come here, Harvey.

Oh, oops.

Oh, this is going to make such great pictures.

-This is for the album?

-Yes. -Like that, huh?

-Oh, I like that.

Can you get a little closer, Harvey, so we can get this in the shot?

-Yes.

Ready for that shot now? -Yes.

Here, quick.

Just one thing, baby.

Okay, ready?

Oh, beautiful, beautiful shot.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

This is going to make for great shots.

[moody music]

-A little bit to the left.

-Yeah. I'll take a lot of it.

There, come on.

There you go. -Just further...

-Camera's going to be [indistinct]. [giggling]

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Why don't you just give me that cock?

-Yes. -Oh.

[moaning]

-Oh, yeah.

Let me feel that cock... and you do have a nice one.

[moaning]

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

[moaning]

-Oh, cum baby, cum.

Come on.

Come on.

Oh, yes.

Cum. Oh yes, cum.

Oh, what a shot.

Oh, cum baby.

Oh, yes. Oh, cum.

[moaning]

-Oh, yes.

That had to make a wonderful shot.

Thanks, Harv.

-So, that's this week's up-and-coming show,

your show about the people who take chances, break new ground,

and overcome the odds.

You, too, can break loose.

This is Ellie Parker, wishing you good luck.

-Did they approve of that last headshot?

-Oh, the headshot was fine, Red, and the director is down --

up here with me.

Show's fine.

You can go home now, Red.

[sighing]

Hey, it's your turn now, Jerry.

[moaning]

Oh, yeah.

Oh yeah, suck it.

[moaning]

[laughing]

Is this what they call insert shots?

Who the hell?

Janie.

[laughing]

Whenever you have a minute, Ellie.

[dramatic music]

-Hi, Jane

How are you doing?

So good to see all of you.

I guess I should fill you in on the details.

Each of us, at one time, was a Panther centerfold,

and each went on to develop a career where we made use of special talents,

which are very, very vital to this project.

-Janie, I haven't been keeping up with the magazine.

What have you been doing since your centerfold?

-Oh, that was a long time ago. [laughing]

Well, I finished law school.

Well, with Sue's help.

Then came back here to be on our legal staff

and troubleshoot for her.

-Excuse me, but I want to know what the mystery's all about.

-Well, a self-appointed group of moral citizens

has for years been trying to bring a lawsuit against the magazine

on pornography charges.

-But they've always failed.

-Right, but now they've devised a scheme to blackmail

Sue personally and discredit the magazine.

Well, to prove her innocence,

she'd have to incriminate a lot of other people, and --

-[sighing] -- you know Sue, she won't do that.

-So, how do we help?

-We're going to throw in a new twist.

Now, each of you has a folder that I gave you.

Inside is a name and background of one of the committee members.

You have three days to get that person to either change his mind, or --

-Or embarrass themselves In some way that might --

-Yes. You got it now.

-Oh, I love it.

Mystery, intrigue, double jeopardy.

Call my agent.

I'll take the part.

-Listen, Beth, before you call your agent,

I want you -- well, all of you to know one thing.

If you get caught, or if any of us fails and this gets out,

it could ruin our careers.

-Saving the best for last, huh?

-[sighing] All right.

-Sue.

-Oh, hi girls.

[cross talk] You all look wonderful.

-You do, too. -Oh, I know.

I know. Looking better than ever.

Younger than ever and not a worry in the world.

Well, ladies, this is the coach-inspires-the-team speech.

Look, for 15 years, I've developed this magazine

on college women centerfolds.

Sex and intelligence has sold this magazine.

Well, I'll lay it out.

I...

I've never been in this kind of trouble before.

Just trust me.

What these bastards have trumped up against me --

[sighing]

-Sue, we understand.

-Anyway,

look, if there's anything I can do to help in any way, just let me know,

and thank you.

What the hell?

I mean, if we fail, I'll just start over.

I'll just go upstairs to get my nose drops.

Excuse me.

[sobbing]

Ladies, I know I'm asking the impossible...

but if anyone can do it, this group can.

What we're doing is fighting fire with fire

[sniffling]

And there's enough heat in this room to make eunuchs come

and nuns dance naked in the rectory.

[applause] [cheering]

-Okay, Sean and Celeste, we've got your room

right across from the Hamilton Osgood Pavilion.

Good luck.

-Jane, we're all set.

When do you want us to call you back?

No, not yet, but we sure have a great view.

-Please, please, Mr. Osmond.

I mean, now that you've been elected governor of the state,

it would be such an honor to suck your cock.

Oh, yeah.

[lively marching band music]

-An old ham has been exposing enough of himself

to give us an idea of how to approach him.

Don't worry, Jane, he's a genuine sucker.

-Oh, you know how to fuck everyone.

Fuck me.

Oh, yeah.

-I won.

I won.

-Oh, come all over me.

Oh, God, love it.

Everyone loves you.

It's a victory.

-Judge Hammer, I've asked you here to find out one thing.

Then you can forget about me and this meeting,

and whatever might be left of your self-respect.

-I'll damage you.

Would you cut that nonsense?

When we met, it was --

-How could I forget?

I was a third-year law student and you were our special guest of honor

speaking to the class.

Honor, my ass, and just because I was a woman,

you took special notice of me.

-Look, Jane, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean that. I was trying to -- -You didn't get laid then

and you won't now.

- I did not come here to get laid tonight.

I came here for what I thought was a friend.

I was hoping you'd come up with something concrete

in the Sue Forbes mystery defense.

-You were hoping I'd come up with bullshit.

There is no defense against blackmail and you know that's just what this is.

I'd only hope that you had some good reason for throwing in

with this group of opportunistic liars.

I can see I was wrong, or am I?

- I see.

Is this where the hidden tape recorder comes out

and you expose my true motives?

-No.

No, those are tactics your side would use,

Judge.

You're a damn sellout.

You know, I really hoped otherwise.

It's true.

You make me sick.

-Jane, don't go, please.

Look, maybe we can go someplace else and talk.

Just not here.

-See? Cosmopolitan judge takes a young woman lawyer

to his home and changes her mind.

-Jane, now you're being a jerk.

Would you give me a break, huh?

[phone ringing]

-Oh, shit.

-All right, I'm coming.

[sultry jazz music]

-Hello, Mr. Loveless, I'm --

-Beverly Martine.

My God.

-Well, I'm flattered you recognize me.

May I come in? -Yes, sure.

-Thank you.

-Well, to what do I owe the honor?

-Well, I just wanted to see If America's not-so-legitimate film star

had actually gone straight,

and apparently, from what I can see, you have.

-Well, I'm flattered that you'd be interested.

-Yes, right.

Let's cut the games, Lyndon.

I'm here on business, film business.

Are you interested?

[thunder rumbling]

-Oh, this is beautiful.

Oh, it's just gorgeous.

Did you raise these, or whatever one does with roses?

-Oh, yes.

Yes, I grew all the roses myself.

It's really my only passion, the roses.

All the other stuff is just sort of a sideline.

You see, you've got to understand, it keeps me sane.

I mean, did you ever see a rose in a lawsuit with a tulip,

or a Boston fern that claims whiplash?

-Your only passion?

-Almost.

-You know, I'm even more confused about your involvement with these snakes

on that so-called morals committee.

I mean, a man who raises roses, a sensitive man.

-Well, why don't we talk about this later, okay?

Look, I have some wine.

Would you like some?

-Sure.

We're in no hurry.

[giggling]

-So you see, we're in a bit of a rush.

I have to have your answer right away.

I hope there's nothing to keep you from accepting.

-Well, it's just a little hard for me to understand.

-Oh, Lyndon,

you're not the flabbergasted boy you pretend to be.

You've known that this turnaround of jurors makes you

a hot property for this trade film world.

I'm producing this next film and I want to take

advantage of your built-in publicity.

Besides,

I've seen one or two of your films.

-Oh?

I'm surprised.

-So was I. At your acting potential, I mean.

- I see.

Well, a non-sex part Is something I'd hoped for,

but we used --

-Well, that's something that I wanted to talk to you about.

I'm very glad that you brought that up with it.

You see, although this is a legitimate film that I'm offering you,

it's not exactly a non-sex part.

-What exactly does that mean?

-It's really very simple.

Hollywood is ready to cross the X line now.

I want you to star in my film and do one very sensitively done

hardcore sex scene.

Look, if you're concerned about your image on this morals committee --

Lyndon, look, I read the papers.

I know about your present publicity game.

This picture is not going to be released until next year, even though

I have to sign you now.

It's not going to interfere at all.

-Miss Martine, just get the hell out of here.

All right?

-Get the hell out?

-Just get the hell out.

-Lyndon, I'm not going anywhere until I find out what's going on.

Now, this could be a very big opportunity for both of us.

-You want to know what the problem is?

I'll fucking tell you what the problem is.

I didn't go goody-two-shoes because I got religion.

No, no.

I was smart and lucky, and took advantage of a shitty situation.

Look, don't you get it?

-No, I don't.

-I can't do a sex scene.

After 12 years of hard-ons and fucking In every conceivable position, coming

all over beautiful women, I lost it.

I fucking lost it.

I haven't been able to get it up or get it off in almost two years.

So now you know.

Satisfied?

Stuff your goddamned offer and get the fuck out.

-Fuck.

[footsteps tapping]

-Lyndon, I have an offer you can't refuse.

-It's no good, Beverly.

Save it, believe me.

-No. Besides, you have the same problem.

I haven't really cared to fuck a man in years.

Maybe we could help each other.

Think about it, Lyndon.

[birds chirping]

-So you see, this group, this committee,

I don't even know who they were! W.W., Parrish.

-Osmond, Loveless.

-Right, right. They notified the newspapers that I was going

to join their committee.

It was on the newsstands before I even had a chance to say no,

which believe me, I would have said.

-Yes, I --

Well, I guess I do see.

It's impossible, especially for an elected judge to turn down

a position like that.

-Right.

Absolutely right.

If I turn them down,

I would look like I stood for immorality, sin, mother rape.

-Well, if your heart isn't in it, why don't you just publicly denounce?

-I can't do that, Jane.

I'm an elected judge.

If I turn them down, I'm finished.

Don't you understand?

I have important work to do if I stay in this office.

I'd be throwing all that away.

-Shit.

I have to agree with you, but poor Sue, it just isn't fair.

-Jane,

I wish to hell this wasn't happening, believe me.

I don't know.

Another time,

another place

things might be different.

[birds chirping]

-Yes, sir, I think they would.

[phone ringing]

[sighing]

-Excuse me. I get it.

I don't have a phone here. -[laughing]

-What's ringing?

-Sorry.

Us career girls do have to work harder.

-I don't believe it.

-Mohr here.

Oh, Vee.

Why are you calling me now? -Oh, I get it.

You're with Judge Hammer. -Right.

-Listen, I won't keep you.

It'll hold until our meeting tomorrow.

It's just that we ran into a bit of a snag,

but I think with a little ingenuity, it won't stop us.

-Well, just don't call unless it's absolutely necessary.

All right?

-Ladies,

ladies,

welcome to my humble home.

My wife and I would like you to partake in a glass of Sherry.

-Yes, Mr. Parrish.

We'd love to.

-Be so kind.

- I sure hope you're right about Louella.

-Absolutely sure.

Almost.

[footsteps tapping]

-I'm so glad you two ladies could stay over this evening.

I mean, there's so much we have to go through.

Thurman, aren't you excited about our art collection going

on European tour? -Hmm.

-Thurman, I think you'd show a bit more gratitude.

-My dear, do not try to unbraid me in front of our guests.

It's undignified and shows an irrepressible lack of good breeding

on your part.

Pass the soft cheese to our guests.

-No, thank you.

[sultry music]

-That's no good there.

I appreciate you trying to help.

-Oh, just relax.

Dr. Beverly is here to help.

Now, you mustn't think that we're going anywhere.

I want you to just relax.

Think about how much I'm enjoying myself.

-That confuses me.

-[grunting]

-What have you got to gain by helping me?

-Oh, you're so suspicious, Lyndon.

I'm helping myself.

Don't you know how much pleasure it gives me to be with a man

who doesn't want to fuck me, who's not pushing it on me?

[sighing]

Just forget about your problem.

Just think about how much pleasure and joy I get out of being with you

and your beautiful, silky, quiet cock.

[moaning]

Oh, nice.

[moaning]

On, I just love it like this.

[moaning]

You know, we can get a stand in for you soon.

It's a movie.

[moaning]

Oh, so tonight I'm naughty and I'm not a producer.

I'm just someone you can give something to.

The way you are, just the way you are.

-You actually like my cock being soft?

- I just want to cum like this.

-Oh my God.

[moaning]

-Oh, God.

Oh, fuck.

[moaning]

-Are you --

Like that.

Oh, baby.

Oh, like that.

[moaning]

-Oh my God.

[sultry music]

-It isn't that hard.

-It was never hard.

It was never really hard.

Though it's harder now to make money on art investments.

A lot of amateurs hedging their money.

Don't you agree, Miss Beacham?

-Oh, absolutely.

I find that your perceptions are far more acute

than more nonprofessionals.

Indeed they are. -Madam,

I'm a professional in everything I do.

-Oh, well, of course you are.

That's obvious. It's just that I meant --

-Ms. Beacham, do not try to ingratiate yourself by pretending

to mean something other than what you meant.

Frankly, if you were a man, I'd be insulted.

Being a woman, you should be dealt with more gently.

Pass the Sherry, please.

-You know, I think it's nice to meet a man who is so open

and honest about his perceptions.

You know, so-called modern men might think that your attitudes towards women are --

-Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, really.

Oh, Mr. Parrish, please forgive me.

I didn't mean for that to happen. Oh, really.

Here. Sir, how dreadful.

I should ring for the butler.

-No. -Oh, Mr. Parrish, just let me help.

Please forgive me.

She was --

It's just your presence that made her nervous.

Such a powerful man.

Such a legend.

Please, oh, please, forgive her.

-After all, Thurman, it's not a mistake a man might've made.

-Well, I know you must enjoy these little humiliations of mine,

as infrequent as they may be.

It must warm the cockles and their poor excuse of a heart to have

these ignoramuses in my house.

Well, enjoy taking advantage of my hospitality

as long as you can.

-Louella, I'm really sorry.

I didn't mean for you -- I mean, I couldn't help it.

I'm just -- -Sorry?

I wish you would drown the old fart.

[laughing]

-Boy, please,

I want this, but not now.

Listen, my allegiance is with Sue Forbes,

no matter what you might think.

-Yes, and being with me, it makes you feel guilty, right?

-Yes.

-Well, we better get out of here, then, before the roses

and myself get too steamed up.

-Thank you.

I know that --

Well, let's just say it's hard for me too.

-What do you mean, no?

I haven't even been half hard like this in two years.

-You were lying to me.

There's nothing wrong with you.

You're just taking advantage of me.

-Bullshit.

Hey, look, I'm sorry, but it's true.

Bev, I mean, I never thought that --

Bev, look, don't leave me now.

Not now, please.

-Shit.

You're turned on and everything.

I do believe you,

but the minute that you even got half hard,

it wasn't a turn-on for me anymore.

-Oh, Bev.

-I'm sorry, but it's not.

-Look, I'll do anything.

Anything you want, please.

Hey, what will turn you on?

-You'll think I'm an idiot.

-No, no, I won'.

Please, just tell me what it is.

Please. Anything.

-Fuck me.

God damn.

[moaning]

God, that's so hot.

I love watching a movie of you.

-Oh, God, I love watching a movie of you fucking

while you're fucking me.

[moaning]

-Oh, fuck.

[moaning]

-Ah, easy.

Come here. -Oh, fuck.

-Get on top.

[moaning]

-Fuck. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

Oh, baby.

Put it back in.

[moaning]

-Come on.

Yes, yes.

-Just like that.

-Oh, baby, I want you to cum on me,

just like you did in the fucking pictures, baby.

Oh, God. Yes, oh God, yes.

Lyndon.

Oh, God yes.

Oh, baby.

[moaning]

-Baby, that was what I wanted.

Yes.

Yes, baby.

[moaning] [screaming]

-Lyndon.

Ow.

Lyndon.

Lyndon. -Oh, shit.

-Fuck.

Are you all right?

-Just hit my head.

I'll be all right. -Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

You're crazy.

[giggling]

Oh, God.

I'm going to get an ice pack for that.

-Come on, ask for it. - I don't need this.

-Did you say something, Beth?

-Oh, I just said that I feel like such an asshole.

You know, you really don't need this.

-Oh, hell, it wasn't your fault.

You know, you could make a fortune in the X-rated film business.

-[chuckling]

Right.

No, I don't think I could do what we did, you know,

if I thought that someone was going to watch us.

-[chuckling]

Oh.

-Well, I hope that you don't think I'm crass,

but I have to go to a production meeting.

I'm late. -Hey, well, wait a minute.

Do I get the part?

-You get any part you want.

Of course.

-Listen, I hope this isn't a one-shot cure.

-Who knows?

You'll probably have a chance sometime soon

to do something for me. I'll call.

No, no, don't get up.

Sit down.

Just rest.

I'll see myself to the door.

[footsteps tapping]

-Beth?

-Yes.

-Thanks.

You were incredible, part or no part.

-Well, thank you, sir.

[footsteps tapping]

-[sighing]

That son of a bitch.

Why did he have to be so sincere?

I thought that all porno stars were supposed to be jerks.

Damn.

Oh, well,

and it would have to be the first time

I've made love in so long and really enjoyed it.

Oh, what the hell.

Maybe he's right.

If all of this blows up,

I guess I could always get a job as a porno star.

Oh, no.

I couldn't carry it off.

I mean,

who'd ever believe it?

[quirky saxophone cue]

-I haven't enjoyed myself so much

since Thurman lost $3 million in the silver market.

-Louella, why do you stay with that idiot?

-Ellie, a woman could go mad dealing with him all the time.

-True. It is hard to understand, but money, social position,

freedom, it's all very seductive.

-I mean, you must have a hard time dealing with all the crap he deals out.

-Oh, I just let it go by, but I'm so glad you girls showed up.

I never have anyone to talk with, except his friends, and they're

as boring as he is.

[laughing]

You see,

Thurman controls my life.

It's the price I pay for my security.

-Well, we think it's time you had a little fun.

-So do I.

-You threatened not to have sex with Thurman unless he gave you

more freedom and he said he didn't care?

I don't think that's funny at all.

-No, indeed.

How long has it been since you've --

you know?

-Fucked?

I have not even said that word in years.

It's been nearly six since Thurman and I,

or me and anyone, have had any kind of sex at all.

That's not very funny, is it?

-No, it isn't.

-Any man I might get involved with, Thurman would have bought off.

I couldn't risk it.

Could 1?

-Who mentioned men?

-What do you mean?

I've never even kissed another woman.

I wouldn't know what to do.

Oh, my.

Oh.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know.

I mean, what if Thurman walks In or something?

-This isn't so bad, now, is it, Louella?

-No. I like it.

-It gets better. -You look so pretty.

-So do you.

[moaning]

-Not yet.

-No. -Don't cum yet.

-Oh, yeah.

[moaning]

-Shake it for me.

-Oh, yeah.

-Do you want me to put my tongue inside of you?

-Inside. Oh, damn.

You said you were teaching her.

-That's what I thought.

-Right there.

[moaning]

-Oh, I think I'm going to cum.

Just keep going.

[moaning]

-Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

[moaning]

-[giggling] Hi.

[moaning]

-Oh, God.

[moaning]

-Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

[moaning]

-Oh, God.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, God.

That was great.

-Had been a lot of years since you've had one of those.

-That was lovely. -Six years,

don't you think she needs another one?

-Another one?

-Take it.

-Did you sleep well, Thurman?

-As well as might be expected.

Pass the strawberry, please.

Pass the strawberry, please.

-Mr. Parrish, you have a very comfortable place here.

-Yes, I enjoy it.

I'm sure you did, too,

judging by the sounds of delight you sent ringing through my house most

of the night. -Pass the coffee, please.

-Did you ladies hear what I said?

-Pass the butter, please.

You know, it's rare that we have guests whose presence is so fulfilling.

-My dear,

I know damn well what was going on in your bedroom last night,

and I fully intend to call the museum today and have

these vile ladies dismissed.

-Well, I can honestly say this has been the most revealing first encounter

I've had with anyone, but we really must be going now.

-Shame to see the two of you leave.

I'll walk you to the door.

-Furthermore,

I'm confining you to the house,

cutting off your allowance,

and curbing your social activities indefinitely.

-Thurman, dear, do calm down.

I had these two lovely ladies to thank for my coming out of the closet.

[sighing] I should've done it years ago.

You, on the other hand, should've stayed in the closet

a bit longer. Hm?

-[chuckling]

This is incredible.

She actually told you she was going to reverse her stance

in front of everyone at the press conference tomorrow?

-Yes, but just as we were leaving.

-Yes. We pretended we didn't know what she was talking about.

She just wanted us to know how much we had changed her life.

-Makes me feel pretty good, actually.

Ann and I have decided that if you don't need us anymore,

we're going to split to Jamaica for a little rest.

-Fine.

-I'll pay for it.

Jane, how are you and the judge coming along?

-Oh, everything is fine.

The Carson sisters are moving in on Ham and Ellie's with W.W. right now,

and I've arranged for a messenger service to deliver our messages

to the board members before they talk to the press.

-Oh, that is perfect.

Boy, once they've known what we've done, if they release their information

to the press, they're going to look like idiots.

That is very nice.

-About the judge, do you really think you've got --

[buzzing]

-Miss Ford, there's someone here to see Jane.

He insists --

Hey, wait a minute.

Wait a minute. You can't go in there yet.

-Jane, I have to talk with you now.

Please.

-If Ellie calls, get in touch with me right away.

[footsteps tapping]

-What the hell was that?

-Up there, Miss Parker, is my church, where I deliver my sermons most Sundays.

-But you aren't an ordained preacher.

Is that correct?

-Oh, yes, that is correct.

I'm what's called a lay preacher.

You see, I've done so much good work for the church

that the pastor has allowed me to speak.

You see, Miss Parker, one does not have to be ordained

in order to answer the calling.

In fact, it is my sincere desire to carry the message over radio and TV,

the message of morality, motherhood,

Americanism.

-Sort of a lay preacher to the world,

a common man called upon in uncommon times. W.W.?

-Yes.

Yes, that's very good, Miss Parker, very good indeed.

-Why'd I come to the office?

-Why'd I come to the office?

-Why'd you come back into my life, woman?

-I'll tell you why. -Hell, you know, you got a lot of nerve.

-Because when I was in college, it was unliberated for a woman

to go to bed with a man who wanted to use his position

just to intimidate her, you know, but things have changed.

Times have changed, boy.

My mind's changed and things are different now.

I just wanted to see what you're like, but that still does not excuse

you for busting into that damn office like you did in front of everyone.

-Shit. - I could have killed you.

Well, are you listening to me?

-I'm listening to you.

-I've thought about you for the past five years

and then I finally see you again.

I realize I want to be with you more than ever,

like some kind of an idiot.

Why, I turned out a romantic asshole.

-Ah, shit.

Fucking damn burglar-proof locks.

Jane, don't you understand?

I wouldn't have come to your damn office if I wasn't desperate.

Hell, woman, I'm against a proverbial wall.

-I know. I know.

Look, I'm sorry, Roy. I'm sorry.

-Don't you understand? If I pull out of the committee now,

it'll look like I knew about this setup of yours,

whatever it is.

If I show up at that press conference, I'm equally screwed.

Don't you understand, woman?

In order to protect myself, I got to fuck you over,

and I can't do that.

How, woman? I need help.

-Roy, come on.

We're two bright people.

I'm sure we could figure something out.

Okay.

-It says here that you two are on the senator's staff and that

you're here to let me know that he's aware of my national political potential.

Truthfully, ladies,

I know my potential is great, but it surprises me that a man

as powerful as the senator knows it.

-Mr. Osmond, after we leave, we will call and tell

the senator that you're not worthy of his notice.

-Now now, ladies,

you can't blame a man like me for being cautious,

can you?

-Ham. May we call you Ham, Ham?

-Certainly. -Thank you.

My sister and I are not used to this kind of reception.

-The senator thought I might benefit from your from your services.

Exactly what is it that you do for the senator?

-So the senator's into this sort of thing, huh?

You girls don't know, but he and I may have a whole lot more in common than I thought.

Are you girls about ready?

You can't be tied up too long.

[lauging]

I have a board meeting this evening.

Now, see here, girls, I'm willing to try a little light bondage.

Let's not get out of control.

-Howie, dear, shut up.

Okay?

Now, you want to be a really important, big-time politician.

Well, the senator knows what it takes.

That's why he sent us, SO you be a good boy

and we'll give the senator a very high report.

Now, Ham, eat my pussy.

Make me nice and wet.

[music]

-No, no, honey.

You make us feel good, understand?

Don't let us think you're paying more attention to yourself,

or we might just have to leave you here for the board members to find.

[rhythmic music]

-Untie me.

Untie me.

-Shut up.

-Yahoo. [chuckling]

Now we can play around a little bit, now that I got my hands free.

Oh, yes.

-Yes, I think you will.

-I like that.

-Oh, yes.

That's it.

Oh, yeah.

-Cum in my pussy.

Oh, yeah.

-Yes. -You're so hot.

Come on.

Fuck me.

Come on.

Oh, yes.

Fuck me.

[moody soft rock music]

-Oh.

-Oh.

-Oh, come on.

Come on.

[moaning]

-Oh, come on.

That was great.

Yes.

[tense music]

-Right, how can I get in touch with you girls again?

-You won't need us anymore, handsome.

We left our stuff with a friend who took note.

-Tina?

-Now, about that raise.

-Oh, I think we can probably work on that.

-Now, Jane, look. I'm convinced I'm right.

How long do we have before the press conference?

-About 20 hours.

Just long enough for a little --

-Lovers?

-[chuckling]

As if you're not afraid it'll steam up your roses.

- I thought all this interview stuff, frankly,

would be a lot harder than it is.

-No.

I have a confession.

I did think it was difficult.

Interviewing you, I mean.

Well, you are a very charismatic man

and I usually stay quite removed from my guest, but you...

Oh, darn it all, W.W., you're a preacher.

Well, almost, anyway.

I just feel so awful about --

Listen, I should be going.

Now, if you'll help me with the equipment.

-No, girl. Ellie.

You can talk to me.

-Well, when they told me about you, W.W., I thought you'd be some old man,

all cold and distant.

Why, to come to find out that you're young and attractive, well...

well... [sighing]

-Hey, sister.

Ellie, sister, I'm a human being first and you can talk to me.

Please.

-Oh, don't you understand?

It's my --

Oh, damn it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to swear in front of you.

It's just that from the first moment that I saw you, I've wanted to...to...

and oh, it just got worse and worse while we were together.

I've had these terrible,

dirty, nasty sexual thoughts about you and me.

-Hey, Ellie, I'm flattered. Really, I am, but it's all right.

You'd be forgiven because, after all, we're only human.

Why, even if we gave in to those fleshly,

suckling, sexual desires of craving satisfaction

and sexual, penetrating, dark hunger,

we'd be forgiven,

because that's the beauty of being righteous.

When you are righteous, you can do anything

and you're forgiven.

You're forgiven.

You're forgiven.

Why,

even I have given way to the temptations of the flesh

once or twice, and breast,

and I'm forgiven.

I am forgiven, and you would be forgiven, too.

-Do you --

If I were to throw myself at you,

if I were to rip up all of my clothes and give my body to you to do

with as you wished, you mean, I'd be forgiven?

-Girl, if I could be forgiven, then surely you could.

-Forgiven?

[moaning]

You'd be forgiven.

As long as we're going to need

some forgiveness, girl,

we might as well delve Into our most filthy,

dirty, sexual fantasies,

and I know just where I'd like to start.

[moaning]

Do you really think I'd be forgiven?

Oh, yes.

Oh, I want you to fuck me, W.W.

I want you to fuck me and lick me everywhere,

and I don't care if I'm forgiven.

Oh, Willie, that feels wonderful.

Oh.

[moaning] On, Ellie.

Oh, you're making W.W. such a happy man.

I got --

[moaning]

Ellie, you're making me so happy.

I got your pretty little face In there now.

Oh, yes, stick your finger in your mouth and WW. --

Oh, nice.

[cheering]

-Oh, W.W.

[soft acoustic guitar music]

-Oh, Heaven forgive us.

Heaven forgive us, honey, for doing this.

-Oh, Willie.

Yes, I love the way --

-I've never seen breasts like these.

-Oh, Willie.

Yes, suck my breast.

W.W.

[moaning]

-Oh, yes.

Touch me there.

-Oh, yes.

-Touch me there.

You lie back here.

There's something I've always wanted to do.

-Back? -Yes.

Hallelujah.

When you talk to me that way, it gets harder,

and harder,

and harder.

Can I lick your honey pot?

-Oh, please do.

-Oh, smells sweet.

-Oh, W.W.

Yes.

Oh, yes.

Your real sexy pussy here, WW.

Oh, yes, sir.

[moaning]

Oh, W.W.

-I'm going to go inside you, Ellie.

-Oh, with that big thing?

Oh, yes.

[moaning]

-Touch yourself.

Touch yourself over here.

Oh, yes.

[moaning]

Love to see your hand in your honey pot.

Your legs.

Yes.

Come up here.

Come on.

Oh, yes.

Right here.

[moaning]

I'm going to take you --

I'm going to take you like the heathen that I am.

Are you ready?

Ellie.

Ellie, sister, you is so fine.

-Oh, W.W., you are bad.

[moaning]

-Feel the devil taking over me.

-Oh, suck my pussy.

Oh, yes.

Oh, fuck me harder.

-Lord.

Lord, forgive us.

-Oh, W.W.

[moaning]

-Hell yes.

Happy, sister?

-Yes.

-You are forgiven then.

-Oh, thank you.

-[singing] What a friend we have.

-[giggling]

-Oh, Willy, cut that out.

-[laughing]

We share about a hundred more tapes,

just like this one here, Ellie.

Shame you rolled out of view there for a while, darling.

We got a lot of tape left.

-Oh, but Willy, I really ought to be getting back.

-Now, listen, W.W. is going down the block. Pick us a bottle of champagne

and I'll be right back,

so you just keep your little fanny right there

on the couch, you hear?

-All right.

-Shit, boy.

I can't buy champagne without a wallet.

-Jane, you're one smart lady and I just love the irony of using

ex-Panther cover girls to blackmail these idiots.

Listen, Billy said he's going to be back any minute, but rest assured,

I'll be in Forbes' office soon with a great interview.

Bye.

Shit, he left the damn camera on.

Great, woman, you just put your entire confession on video.

Well, let's make sure that he doesn't get this little baby.

Hi, WW.

-There will be no champagne today.

-Well, W.W., why do you want that tape?

There's nothing on there but me putting on my lipstick.

-Now, you just take this interview tape here.

W.W. wouldn't want to miss just any little thing that had you in it,

now, would he?

It's been a very busy day.

Enlightening, but busy.

I think you ought to be along now, you hear?

Scoot along. We've got some work to do.

Bye-bye.

[soft, romantic music]

[giggling]

-She loves me.

She loves me not.

-What's the matter?

Don't you like my corsage?

[laughing]

-Oh, she loves me.

Oh, Jane.

Sweetheart.

[moaning]

-Don't worry, my dear,

I'll be more than happy to take your place at the committee press conference.

-You son of a bitch.

You God damn son of a bitch.

I'll get you.

-What the hell is the delay, anyway?

I'm beginning to share your premonition for trouble.

-Here comes something.

-Ladies and gentlemen of the press,

and defendants,

I first must apologize for my wife, Louella.

She was taken ill this morning and asked me to stand in for her.

The committee today has only ascertained

more incriminating evidence

as to the immoral character of Miss Forbes.

While we wait for the arrival of Judge Hammer,

he was detained by a heavy workload,

we will analyze our new evidence.

We ask your indulgence.

Believe me, you won't be sorry.

-Oh, God, Jenny. Where are you, girl?

It's all falling apart.

- I got the wrong tape.

All I have here is the damned interview.

I don't know how he got on to me.

It was going so well.

Damn.

-On, Ellie.

-Well, look.

We still have the Carson sisters' trick up our sleeve,

right?

And Lyndon. -It's all falling apart.

-Look, we've got to find out what's happening backstage.

I've got an idea. Look.

Help me.

- I told you, don't call me here, Tina.

-Gentlemen, with these tapes,

they don't dare expose anything else they may have on us.

They'll have to eat it, period.

-They're fine, W.W.

I don't know where the hell Judge Hammer is,

but I say let's forget about him.

We can't keep the press waiting.

-Excuse me.

Is this the MOM meeting?

-What the hell do you want? -Western Union, sir.

I have some telegrams here to deliver.

I have one here for Reverend Williams.

-I'm Reverend Williams.

-A Mr. Osmond.

A Mr. Loveless.

-Oh, right here.

-But nothing for me?

-A nickel.

-Oh, excuse me, I'm new on the job.

I must be a little nervous.

-I'll take those.

Thank you. -Sorry about that, gentlemen.

-Hey, kid, haven't I seen you someplace before?

-No. Never been there.

-Gentlemen, listen to this telegram.

It's from one of the leaders of the moral majority.

"Good luck in your fight to eliminate the immoral muck

that is polluting your fair city."

I think we should read this one to the press.

-"A friend who helped you will soon ask for the favor in return.”

What the hell?

-Oh, no.

The past is not behind you.

It's branded on your ass, Governor.

The sisters, damn.

-Sister Osbourne, what the hell are you doing?

-You put your pants back on.

-Well, I can't see. I can't see it.

Is there a brand back there?

-What the hell is that?

-Oh, I can't go out there. Can't you see it?

Oh, God.

-Lyndon, stop laughing.

This is serious.

-All right. -All right.

To hell with him.

W.W., Lyndon, you with me?

We can do it by ourselves.

Come on, man. -Why the hell not?

-Well, we got these tapes here.

Wait a second, we got the tapes.

We can get them.

We'll still go out there. Come on.

-No.

-Can't you see what they did to me?

They're branding me with some kind of indelible ink.

-I can't. -Come on, put your pants on.

Nobody's going to see that.

Come on. -The hell with this --

-If they can brand me, they can do anything.

I'm not going out there.

-Well, you got no guts, boy.

Let's go, let's go. Come on.

-I'm never going to be governor.

Damn it.

[dramatic music]

Shit.

-Thus, the insidious minions of Panther Magazine did,

at Sue Forbes' behest,

seek to discredit the honorable members of this committee.

They did so heinously plot against us

that even now,

Hamilton Osmond is so shaken,

he cannot be here with us, stabbed in the back by that woman.

[crowd murmuring]

-There can be no forgiveness for sins such as these,

and who knows

what Judge Hammer has suffered?

-Not a thing, W.W.

Not a thing.

-Thank God.

-Sit down.

-Excuse me.

-Assembled members of the press, I have a statement, and I'll be brief.

This committee is not a fit place for an honorable man

and I hope that's what I am.

As of now,

I am resigning my judgeship

and going into private practice

with a new partner.

[crowd murmuring]

-Damn them, Lord!

Damn them all to the lower reaches who have debased even a man of the law!

-We have not failed.

I have here with me a reformed sinner,

a reformed sinner who many of you may recognize.

He will tell all of you what that woman has done, or tried to do.

[applause]

-Thank you.

It's not my place to judge.

You all know that I, too,

have gone through an ordeal,

fallen victim, but I have seen the error of my ways.

Luckily, I have seen the light.

Thank you.

I have beheld a vision that led me to the path of righteousness.

-Hallelujah.

My life in films

was forced upon me by agents of the devil, but that's all in the past.

However, Miss Forbes

has, in the past,

been unimpeachably honest and decent.

Thank you.

[crowd murmuring] [applause]

-Ladies and gentlemen of my select -- hush, quiet.

Now, what you see in these turncoats

Is the intense espionage of the Panther Magazine.

Why, they even tried to turn my beautiful wife Louella into a --

-Turn her into a free-thinking woman?

Is that what you mean to say, Thurman, dear?

Oh, Thermie, you thought I was all tied up, didn't you?

Luckily, some friends dropped by.

They're leaving for Jamaica soon and just wanted to say goodbye to me.

They were kind enough to drive me over here.

Oh, you'll have to excuse my husband.

He's been having some problems lately.

You understand?

[crowd chatter]

-Quiet, stop, stop, quiet, quiet, stop.

They have not succeeded in defeating us,

with all their plotting and their scheming.

These disciples of the devil cannot stop one common man

of virtue from revealing them, for I, W.W. Williams,

have the proof right here, In this tape right here.

-Perhaps, W.W., this the videotape you're looking for?

Ladies and gentlemen, as an investigative reporter,

I was able to obtain the most revealing interview

with Mr. Williams that I'm sure all of you will be interested

In viewing.

[crowd murmuring]

-Please, please, my fellow journalists, please.

If you'll just have patience, I'm sure this confusion

can be straightened out.

I'd like to ask the kind members of the committee

to convene for a short meeting, so we might clarify our statement

to the press. -Forbes, when will this take place?

[crowd chattering]

-Well, now,

the information I have on all of you is far more damaging

than those lies you concocted to try and get at me.

I almost feel sorry for you, but we've got to tell

the press something,

and I have suffered a great deal because of your hypocrisy,

and there is more than a little vengeance in my soul.

-Miss Forbes, Miss Forbes, please,

we'll do anything at all.

Just please, don't --

-Expose you?

-Well, yes.

-Well, perhaps I could extract my pound of flesh

In some more palatable way.

I might be persuaded to accept your apologies if they were offered

in precisely the right way.

Gentlemen, why don't we take a meeting at my office?

-Well,

I'm really happy to say that the agreement has been reached

and the misunderstanding has been totally resolved.

In fact, so much so that the committee now intends to endorse Miss Forbes' magazine.

[applause] How's that?

Thank you very much, I appreciate it.

-What was it they had on them In the first place, Miss Moore?

-Nothing, nothing at all, a simple mistake that got blown out of proportion.

However, to save anyone embarrassment,

a more personal apology was agreed upon.

-You're such a bad, good little boy.

Well, how about you, W.W.?

Come on, I think you could apologize at least once more.

-What do you want there?

-Now, W.W., that fine young man, Mr. Loveless,

has repented and found his just rewards In the course

of true love with that lovely young woman that [indistinct]

and I think it's time you did some more penance for each other.

On your knees.

-- Then I got to run off with that movie star.

-Right.

[funky music]

-Raise up and have you pray.

[funky music] [moaning]