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ENTERTAINMENT
A dozen characters, including
Paris, summer 1952 -
Entertainment
Six months, maybe a year passed since that last meeting;
she sometimes hoped she wouldn't remember, but still couldn't help
recognizing deep inside her the discomfort
that had gripped her under his gaze and his abrupt confession.
She had only committed herself to friendship in order to avoid a similar surprise.
But before several months of absence, he chose to finally break the ambiguity
so patiently maintained; what did he hope for? nothing,
a few words, but which would have bound her completely, what we call a vow.
Too accustomed to fleeting affairs to know she was sufficiently enamored,
she feared she would soon regret a hasty promise that would alienate herself.
Jealous of her youth, she refused to take any risks, however benign.
Was one word too much to ask?
Was it a taste for the world, a mechanical attachment to casualness,
to the frivolous habits that embody the clever one? Strange carelessness
in the name of which she stubbornly attacks and loses herself.
Was it fear, refusal of a constraint or the familiar pleasure of a challenge?
It didn't matter; she had to flee first; there would be time later for regrets.
The months had passed; she had tried to forget, sometimes fearing she would
succeed too easily. New friends came to meet her;
the world was once again calling out to her.
Some friends would be gathering at their home someday shortly;
she was invited to join them.
It was madness to face up to the past; what did this remorseful regret want with her?
She thought about the invitation; she would undoubtedly go.
She would go. She didn't know he'd be back, and that
our friends' friends are sometimes already our own.
For no expectation can be in vain.
A little music to accompany their steps?
And never mind; it's enough to just go and meet it.
And so we go from one to the other, at the caprice of a dance step.
But entertainment can change its settings,
its order remains, and the same laws soon impose themselves.
She escapes once again.
Everything was slipping away; all that remained of a bad dream was a confused
memory. At the end of the game a new one begun; she wanted to join in;
a few cards and a cigarette were enough to shake the fear of loving.
But here the refusal must end. He's out the door, back into the world.
Let the pride that wants her to be alone finally give way.
It's time to admit, to accept to be happy.
The End
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