Original subtitles

J‘ Beware you men, where'er you go J‘

J‘ The cherry tree must stand J‘

J‘ The glory of your fatherhood J‘

J‘ ls threatened near at hand J‘

J‘ The maiden who is smiling so J‘

J‘ ls wont to all your seed J‘

J‘And never was a maiden born J‘

J‘ To never know your need J‘

J‘ She'll wink her thoughts and let you know J‘

J‘ The lust that's on her mind J‘

J‘And use the Devil's thrust to show you J‘

J‘ What you dream to find J‘

J‘ Save your flower J‘

J‘ For tomorrow you never know what‘s apt to go J‘

J‘ Through a tender maiden‘s head J‘

J‘ 80, save your flower J‘

J‘ For tomorrow J‘

J‘ Many men have felt the ruin J‘

J‘ Of the harlot's bed J‘

J‘As you can see so few like me J‘

J‘ Remain unspoiled and pure J‘

J‘ By virtue's fact I am intact J‘

J‘ Unsoiled by passion's lure J‘

J‘ So when temptation calls to you J‘

J‘ You must remember well J‘

J‘Adultery is the Devil‘s tool J‘

J‘ For bringin' you to hell J‘

J‘ When in the end desire‘s role J‘

I Has led you to its fork J‘

J‘ It won't be hard if you're on guard J‘

J‘And always salt your pork J‘

J‘ Save your flower J‘

J‘ For tomorrow J‘

J‘ You never know what‘s apt to go J‘

J‘ Through a tender maiden‘s head J‘

J‘ So, save your flower J‘

- You better make for the border.

- It wasn't my fault, Dad.

Something burned me.

- Get on your animal, Lamy.

Lamy Homo!

My son.

Next.

Mr. Greaser, I came to pay my taxes, my dues,

and my respects to ya.

- Next.

Gracias, Senor Greaser.

- Next.

- Thank you, mister.

- Next.

Come on, come on.

J‘ Red, amber mountains J‘

J‘ Navajo guns nearby J‘

J‘ A white cloud is floating J‘

J‘ Over this land of enchantment J‘

J‘ Under turquoise skies J‘

J‘ I hear distant drums J‘

J‘ I hear roaring guns J‘

J‘ I hear Indians J‘

J‘ l heara war cry J‘

J‘ Or soldiers in blue J‘

J‘ I hear bugles J‘

J‘ Under turquoise skies J‘

Ho!

- Seaweed head, tomorrow night

I'm gon' get me a horse and ride up

to Four Corners, see Red Snapper.

I know she's waitin' for me 'cause 10 minutes ago

she sent me the finest smoke signal I ever seen.

She said, "Vernon, you are the only man

"who ever made my bell ring.

"All my love, Red Snapper.

"P.S. Ugly old Hiny Ho says hello."

- Take a card, Mr. Greaser.

Alright, put it back anywhere.

This it? - N0.

- This one? - No.

- That one? - No!

- This one? - No.

- That one? - No.

- That it? - No.

- That one? - No!

- This one? - Nah.

- That one? - No.

- This one? - No.

- Is this it? - No.

- That it? - No.

- This one? - No.

- Here it comes! - No.

- This one? - No.

- That one? - No.

- This one? - No.

- Is that it? - No.

- This one? - No.

- That one? - No!

- If Senor Greaser don't like the way you sing

we'll go back to Juarez, buy a new homestead,

and settle down.

And maybe you'll be happy because at least

you had the chance to sing for Senior Greaser.

- You‘re on.

- If you feel, you heal.

- L was swimming with millions of babies in a rainbow

and they was naked, and then all of the sudden

I turned into a perfect smile.

- I‘m sorry I brought you back but I need your help.

- Who are you?

- I‘m sorry I brought you back but I need your help.

I'm on my way to Jerusalem to be an actor/singer.

It is written that the Agent Morris awaits me.

- Let‘s go.

Well, come on!

Get up!

He‘s up.

Mother, is there anything

I can do for you?

- I wanna go out today.

- You'll go out when | tell you to go out!

- You'll always be my favorite.

- Seaweed head, last night I called on

that German girl up in Los Alamos.

Round about midnight I put my nose in her cunny

and rubbed it back and forth, back and forth,

and up and down, and back and forth,

and she went to sleep on me.

While she was sleepin' I pulled out my John Thomas

and did the deed and she woke up screamin‘,

"Wernon, it hurts, it hurts!"

And I said, "No it don't, no it don't,"

and she said, "Wernon, Wernon, aah Wernon!"

— Coo Coo,

| wish I could put my arms around each and every one of them

and let them know that everything is going to be okay.

- Why don‘t ya, Sea?

- I'm not bizarre enough.

- Who is?

- Mr. Greaser, Lamy Homo‘s back in town!

Who's your friend, Lamy?

Where you been, Lamy?

I told you to make for the border!

- Good mornin‘, Mr. Greaser.

- What‘s your business here, Lady?

- I‘m on my way to Jerusalem to be an actor.

Excuse me.

If you feel, you heal.

If you feel, you heal.

- Dad, I was swimming in a rainbow

with millions of babies and they was naked

and then all of the sudden I turned into a perfect smile.

- Put a rope round the son of a bitch!

- What's goin‘ down here?

- Do not make us doubt and speculate.

Say to us why you are here.

What is the message to these people?

- Go back and look again.

If this man is real bring him to me.

- Messiah.

Messiah.

- Most Holy One, let me see.

Messiah.

Messiah.

- If you feel, you heal. - Messiah.

Messiah.

- Let me see.

Relief.

- Messiah. - Relief.

Relief. - Let me see.

- Messiah. - Relief.

Relief. - Messiah.

- Let me see. - Relief.

- I can crawl again!

- Most Holy One, let me see.

If you feel, you heal.

- I can crawl again!

Relief.

Relief.

Relief.

- I can, I can see! - Relief.

- Messiah. - I can see.

I can crawl again.

- If you feel-- - Get your hands off me!

- What's goin‘ down here?

- Relief. - Messiah.

Relief.

Relief.

- Who am I?

I can crawl again.

- This is Blasphemy!

Blasphemy! - I can crawl again!

- Relief. - Messiah.

- Give to us something to live for, anything.

Messiah.

- We need hope now, Love.

I can crawl again!

J‘AhJ‘

J‘AhJ‘

J‘AhJ‘

J‘AhJ‘

J‘AhJ‘

J‘AhJ‘

J‘AhJ‘

J‘AhJ‘

- Is he the one?

- He's got to be the one.

Who else could it be?

- I‘m very disappointed

—So am I.

- I can crawl again!

I can crawl again!

I can crawl again!

I can crawl again.

I can crawl again

I can crawl again.

I can crawl again.

I can crawl again.

I can crawl again.

J‘AhJ‘

I can crawl again.

J‘AhJ‘

- Come on down here you great big, ugly pile of shit!

Come on down here you big pile of shit!

J‘AhJ‘

— Coo Coo.

J‘AhJ‘

- Please Sheriff, not this!

Anything but this!

No, no!

No!

No!

No.

Please Sheriff, not this!

No, no, no, no!

No, no!

- Where does it hurt?

- Here.

—Ah, ah!

Ah.

Ah!

You'll never know what I could do

'cause you never give me a chance.

What is it?

- What is what?

What do you want here?

I‘m hungry.

- Come in here.

Spitunia.

Spitunia!

Spitunia!

Spitunia!

Spitunia!

Spitunia!

Spitunia!

Spitunia!

Spitunia!

Spitunia, how about some grub?

Everybody's famished.

- L have vanilla grits and get the fuck outta here

if you know what's good for ya.

- She has a very nice clit.

- Where am I?

- You‘re very handsome.

- I really should leave.

- No, no, no, don‘t leave.

- No, really I should. - Please sit down.

You crazy boy.

- Do you really think I'm handsome?

- Yes, you are.

Good grub, Spit.

- Thank you very much for the meal.

Where are you going?

- I‘m on my way to Jerusalem to be an actor/singer/dancer.

- Take me with you

- I can't.

- What‘s the matter?

Don't ya love me?

- I don't even know you.

J‘AhJ‘

- What do you want?

- Afternoon, Miss Greaser.

Ljust wanna know if there was anything you needed?

I mean, if there's anything I can do for ya

I'd be more than happy to do it.

I mean, I'd do anything for you, Miss Greaser, anything.

Miss Greaser, if you'd be my woman

I'd kill the first man that looked at you.

- Where‘s my father?

- He just rode out of town.

- Then why don't you come in here

and let me suckle on your stinger real...

- Take the burro, it's yours.

- What about you, sir?

- It's more blessed to give than to receive.

- You're very kind, thank you.

- Who is he, Gip?

Who is he, Gip?

Who is he, Gip?

Who is he, Gip?

Who is he, Gip?

Who is he, Gip?

Who is he, Gip?

Who is he, Gip?

Who is he, Gip?

Who is he, Gip?

Who is he, Gip?

Who is he, Gip?

J‘AhJ‘

He has come!

J‘AhJ‘

- Put a rope ‘round the son of a bitch!

- One moment please.

I bring you a message

Exactly six miles north of Skag Mountain

in the Valley of Pain there lives an evil devil monster.

His name is Bingo Gas Station Motel Cheeseburger

With A Side Of Aircraft Noise And You'll Be Gary Indiana

and he loves to hurt people.

The last time I saw Bingo Gas Station

Motel Cheeseburger With A Side Of Aircraft Noise

And You'll Be Gary Indiana he told me what he wants to do.

He wants to come down here

and kill each and every one of you.

But I said to him, "Bingo, wait a minute,"

and the reason I said that

is because I believe in you people.

I believe you can do the job.

I believe you can help each other.

I believe you can make this world a better place to live in.

That's it.

- Never mind this, how you say, Bingo.

Just tell us whether there is a life after death or not.

- Seaweed head, last Tuesday night

I took my favorite Chiquita out on the mesa.

We cozied for six days and six nights

without food and without sleep.

When we finally stopped I said,

"Chiquita from now on I'm callin' you Vagina Lips."

She said, "Vernon, you call me anything you want."

- Oh, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Cholera.

Chol, this is the man who walked on the water.

- It‘s show time.

- She's alreet, Daddy.

That's mighty fine, mighty fine.

I do believe it's show time.

Cholera!

Mr. Greaser, that was it.

What?

- Give me a chance up there, baby!

What?

- Give me a shot.

- Take it.

Monsieur Greaser,.

Boo!

Sit down.

Here.

J‘ Well I'm a killer-diller daddy with a peg in my pants J‘

J‘And I'm a groove juice Jackson J‘

J‘ Won't you give me a chance J‘

J‘ A solid sender J‘

J‘ So daddy beat me to the bar J‘

J‘ You hear me layin' it down J‘

J‘ Oh baby, Jessy's back in town J‘

J‘ I got the boogie on my fingers J‘

J‘ Boogie woogie elite J‘

J‘ I got the boogie in my toes J‘

J‘ The boogie down to my feet J‘

J‘ They call it murder whenever I begin to jive J‘

J‘ You hear me laying‘ it down J‘

J‘ Oh baby, Jessy's back in town J‘

J‘ I got the boogie on my fingers J‘

J‘ Got the hubba hubba in my soles J‘

J‘ I got the boogie on my fingers J‘

J‘ Got the hubba hubba in my soles J‘

J‘ I got the boogie J‘

J‘ I got the woogie J‘

J‘ I got the hubba hubba hubba hubba J‘

J‘ Hubba hubba hubba hubba, oh J‘

J‘ I will be around when you need me J‘

I Come to me J‘

J‘ When a friend is hard to find J‘

J‘ I will be around when you need me J‘

J‘ Come along and leave your teardrops behind J‘

J‘ I got the boogie J‘

J‘ On my fingers J‘

J‘ Got the hubba hubba in my soles J‘

J‘ I got the boogie on my fingers J‘

J‘ Got the hubba hubba in my soles J‘

J‘ You hear me layin' it down J‘

J‘ Oh baby, Jessy's back in town J‘

J‘ You hear me layin' it down J‘

J‘ Oh baby, Jessy's back in town J‘

J‘ You hear me layin' it down J‘

J‘ Oh baby, Jessy's back in town J‘

Help me!

No, no!

No, no, no!

- It's the greatest thing I've ever seen.

Let‘s talk.

- You'll have to see my agent.

I'm with the agent Morris.

- I don't care who you're with.

It's the greatest thing I‘ve ever seen.

Let‘s talk.

- In my whole life, that's the worst act I've ever seen.

You ruin career!

How do you do that material with a straight face?

You embarrass me!

Morris, please.

- Forget it!

You‘re totally out of the question.

There's no way for you.

- Morris, I know I can do it!

- Later.

- I'll be back.

— C00 C00.

Chol, it‘s me.

- A man with holes in his hands

gets a bigger applause than me

and you talk of greatness?

Cholera, there are

different kinds of greatnesses.

- Don‘t preach to me, Dad.

- Mr. Greaser?

What?

- I am sorry but I have to have my dog back and, uh...

But Lamy Homo has my dog and he won't give it back.

- Son, give the man back his dog.

Thank you very, very much, Lamy.

- Dad, I was swimming in a rainbow

with millions of babies and they was naked

and then all of the sudden I turned into a perfect smile

just like last time.

Dad, I don‘t wanna die anymore.

Then behave yourself!

Dad, can I buy you a whiskey?

That's mighty fine, Lamy, mighty fine.

Lamy, you're not a Homo, you're a Greaser.

Thanks, Dad.

- Come on.

- I love ya, Dad.

I love ya, Dad.

I love ya, Dad.

I love ya, Dad.

I love you.

I love ya, Dad.

- I took my pants off.

I hope you don't mind.

- I love you.

I love you.

I love you. - Oh Jessy.

- I love you.

I love you. - Oh!

- I love you. - Oh!

- I love you. - Oh, oh.

Jessy, oh! - I adore you.

I love you so much.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Oh, God!

Oh.

Oh Jessy.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

I love you so much.

- Do it.

Do it!

- What? - Do it.

- What? - Now!

Now, now, now!

Oh God, now, now, now!

Yes, yes, now!

- Marry me! - Jessy.

I love everybody!

— Oh God.

Oh God!

You're unbelievable!

Oh God, oh. -Ah, ah!

I love you.

Oh, don't stop.

Don't stop.

Don't stop.

Ah.

- Thank you.

Where's father?

Who knows?

- Maybe something is wrong.

I don‘t wanna leave.

You're goin'.

I wish I were you.

Nobody knows who I am and nobody cares either.

- It's time.

Father, I can't do it.

— Why?

- I think I found myself and I really don't trust you.

- You get moving.

Jessy.