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1
00:00:03,630 --> 00:00:04,339
You missed it, didn't ya?
2
00:00:04,547 --> 00:00:06,216
You don't know
what happened last week.
3
00:00:06,424 --> 00:00:08,343
You want me to tell you?
Give me 100 bucks.
4
00:00:08,551 --> 00:00:09,761
Come on, 100 bucks,
I'll tell you what ha...
5
00:00:09,970 --> 00:00:11,930
Okay, 50 bucks!
You make a good living!
6
00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,139
Give me some fucking money!
7
00:00:13,348 --> 00:00:14,599
You want to know
what happened or not?
8
00:00:14,808 --> 00:00:16,267
Well then, fuck you.
I'm not telling you.
9
00:00:17,686 --> 00:00:18,937
It's my goal to get you all
10
00:00:19,145 --> 00:00:21,022
safely across the border
into Canada.
11
00:00:21,231 --> 00:00:22,565
- Do you see anybody?
- No, I don't see...
12
00:00:22,774 --> 00:00:24,901
Hello. Wrong side
of the border, boys, eh?
13
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,570
You can find your own
rich dude to control.
14
00:00:27,779 --> 00:00:29,614
I am past
my prime whoring years.
15
00:00:29,823 --> 00:00:31,741
Top ten places
to look for rich dudes.
16
00:00:31,950 --> 00:00:33,785
Number one: high-end pubs.
17
00:00:33,994 --> 00:00:35,453
We're taking you
sugar-daddy shopping.
18
00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:37,455
I saw you took
the "For Rent" sign down.
19
00:00:37,664 --> 00:00:38,873
It's about time I got
20
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:40,291
something of my own
for a change.
21
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,127
You're pretty damn intriguing.
22
00:00:42,335 --> 00:00:43,670
How intriguing?
23
00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,171
There was, uh, an accident
at my building,
24
00:00:45,380 --> 00:00:47,257
one of the roofer guys
fell off the roof.
25
00:00:47,465 --> 00:00:49,676
- Is he okay?
- I think he broke his ankle.
26
00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:52,095
If there's anything that
I can do to help.
27
00:00:52,303 --> 00:00:53,430
Thank you.
28
00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:55,098
What, Youens still?
29
00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:56,641
I can't stop picturing him
in an orange jumpsuit
30
00:00:56,850 --> 00:00:57,684
for the rest of his life.
31
00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:58,727
You're a good fucking friend,
32
00:00:58,935 --> 00:01:00,437
but you can't fix everything.
33
00:01:00,645 --> 00:01:01,855
You still on that Bible shit?
34
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:03,023
Yeah, I'm proving to
my online haters
35
00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:05,316
that Jesus is a fag hag.
36
00:01:05,525 --> 00:01:07,235
Another gaycorcism's going down.
37
00:01:07,444 --> 00:01:08,653
Gotta gather the kids.
38
00:01:08,862 --> 00:01:10,405
- Who are you?
- I'm his girlfriend.
39
00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:13,408
- Check this out.
- Wow.
40
00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:14,993
You're yelling at me right now!
41
00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:16,286
Because you're being crazy!
42
00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:17,996
Yes, I'll marry you!
43
00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:19,289
Fucking hell yes!
44
00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:20,749
Oh, my God...
45
00:02:33,238 --> 00:02:35,073
Ah, you're, uh, still at it.
46
00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:36,157
Yeah, I'm trying to figure out
47
00:02:36,366 --> 00:02:37,951
where all the
gay-hating churches are.
48
00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:39,869
There's like one
in every neighborhood.
49
00:02:40,078 --> 00:02:42,205
Homophobia's back in style.
50
00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:43,873
Not for long.
51
00:02:44,082 --> 00:02:45,667
I've got more kids coming
for a meeting tonight.
52
00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:47,460
- Youens still in jail?
- Yeah.
53
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,296
Yeah, I'm actually gonna
go check on him later today.
54
00:02:50,505 --> 00:02:51,422
Oh.
55
00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:57,178
Hey, they've got
a retirement calculator.
56
00:02:57,387 --> 00:02:59,097
I fucking love the internet.
57
00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:02,559
I'll roll over my 401K
from Lumber Lawn and Lighting.
58
00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:06,312
And then I add
my estimated yearly earnings.
59
00:03:06,521 --> 00:03:07,397
What are you doing, Frank?
60
00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:08,898
Planning my retirement.
61
00:03:09,107 --> 00:03:11,109
Time to reflect on
my accomplishments
62
00:03:11,317 --> 00:03:14,028
and to bask in the spoils
of a life well-lived.
63
00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:15,405
You mean leech off your kids
64
00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:17,323
and drink booze
out of a backpack?
65
00:03:17,532 --> 00:03:18,616
You guys, Farhad found me
66
00:03:18,825 --> 00:03:20,660
a temp job that
pays 40 bucks an hour!
67
00:03:20,869 --> 00:03:22,537
- Oh, yeah?
- Some nighttime welding gig.
68
00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:25,081
I don't know, nighttime welding?
Sounds kind of sketchy, Debs.
69
00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:27,542
Took me two weeks to make
300 bucks walking dogs.
70
00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,169
I can handle sketchy.
71
00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:32,088
Expenses? Alcohol and drugs
is non-negotiable.
72
00:03:32,297 --> 00:03:34,549
Clothing? Yes,
the occasional golf shirt
73
00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:37,677
or swimwear for leisurely
retirement pursuits.
74
00:03:37,886 --> 00:03:39,762
Hola, hola, good morning.
75
00:03:39,971 --> 00:03:41,222
No mortgage...
76
00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:43,433
Hola, mi cielito.
Como estás?
77
00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:44,809
No rent...
78
00:03:45,018 --> 00:03:47,812
Are you ready to have a nice day
with your abuelita?
79
00:03:51,608 --> 00:03:53,693
I'll change you.
80
00:03:56,613 --> 00:03:58,740
- Good morning, boo.
- Did you make all this?
81
00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:00,825
Yes.
For you, bae.
82
00:04:01,034 --> 00:04:02,660
I am going to cook for you
every day,
83
00:04:02,869 --> 00:04:05,038
and dinner too,
and then blow jobs for dessert.
84
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,081
I'm going to be
the best fucking wife.
85
00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:09,959
The age I'd like to retire,
86
00:04:10,168 --> 00:04:11,127
based on my current age?
87
00:04:11,336 --> 00:04:13,713
Well... they're identical, so.
88
00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:16,007
I...
89
00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:18,968
W... this makes no sense.
90
00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:21,054
Let me see.
91
00:04:21,471 --> 00:04:22,472
Come on.
92
00:04:24,182 --> 00:04:27,852
All right, you need...
23 grand annually to retire.
93
00:04:28,061 --> 00:04:30,563
And you are short by about...
94
00:04:30,772 --> 00:04:32,148
22 grand.
95
00:04:32,357 --> 00:04:33,524
Sounds right to me.
96
00:04:33,733 --> 00:04:34,651
Oh, fuck that.
97
00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:37,946
I've got engagement presents!
98
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:42,367
The vibrations
will lift up your follicles
99
00:04:42,575 --> 00:04:44,827
so that the blades cut
below your skin.
100
00:04:45,036 --> 00:04:46,287
Thank you.
101
00:04:46,496 --> 00:04:49,165
And a Nintendo 3DS for Liam.
102
00:04:49,374 --> 00:04:50,708
Dope.
103
00:04:50,917 --> 00:04:53,211
And a Zen garden
104
00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:56,798
with a tiny, little sand rake
for you.
105
00:04:57,632 --> 00:04:59,968
And, um, a Fitbit for Ian.
106
00:05:00,718 --> 00:05:01,344
Sweet.
107
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:04,055
And... hot rollers for you.
108
00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:05,723
Cool.
109
00:05:05,932 --> 00:05:08,351
And for you, my sweet,
hot bitch...
110
00:05:09,227 --> 00:05:10,019
I found it.
111
00:05:10,228 --> 00:05:12,397
What is it?
112
00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,025
Is that blood?
113
00:05:17,110 --> 00:05:17,986
Is that your blood?
114
00:05:18,194 --> 00:05:19,445
Yeah.
It's your blood now.
115
00:05:19,654 --> 00:05:21,531
You possess me, and vice versa.
116
00:05:21,739 --> 00:05:22,824
Here.
Come here.
117
00:05:24,242 --> 00:05:25,410
I'll try not to nick an artery.
118
00:05:25,618 --> 00:05:26,828
Gross.
119
00:05:33,710 --> 00:05:35,253
- Hi.
- Hi.
120
00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:36,296
Nice color.
121
00:05:36,921 --> 00:05:38,715
It's called "Dangerous Robot."
122
00:05:38,923 --> 00:05:41,050
I'm doing the bathroom
in Liquid Kitty.
123
00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:43,219
What happened to just "blue"?
124
00:05:43,428 --> 00:05:46,097
Blue... is not badass.
125
00:05:46,306 --> 00:05:48,641
Well, neither is Liquid Kitty;
it sounds like a dyke bar.
126
00:05:48,850 --> 00:05:50,393
Why don't you just paint it
"Wet Pussy"?
127
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,687
Benjamin Moore
didn't have that one.
128
00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:54,772
It took me forever to choose.
129
00:05:54,981 --> 00:05:56,941
What is my taste, even?
130
00:05:57,567 --> 00:05:58,359
Ghetto chic.
131
00:05:58,568 --> 00:06:00,153
That's by necessity, not choice.
132
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:01,529
Well, you're asking
the wrong gal.
133
00:06:01,738 --> 00:06:02,947
Mel handles this shit.
134
00:06:03,156 --> 00:06:04,157
And her style's like...
135
00:06:04,699 --> 00:06:06,159
resort meets brothel.
136
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,828
That's perfect for a nursery.
137
00:06:09,037 --> 00:06:10,663
You guys start
picking out cribs?
138
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,833
Crib, singular.
139
00:06:14,292 --> 00:06:15,752
We're down a fetus.
I miscarried.
140
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:16,961
Oh, shit.
141
00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:18,254
It's okay.
142
00:06:18,463 --> 00:06:20,089
I mean, yeah, it sucks, but
143
00:06:20,298 --> 00:06:21,841
we hadn't figured
we'd both get pregnant.
144
00:06:22,050 --> 00:06:23,718
Least now I can drink.
Got any beer?
145
00:06:24,093 --> 00:06:26,346
Yeah, go help yourself.
146
00:06:27,263 --> 00:06:28,473
Well, how's Mel taking it?
147
00:06:29,307 --> 00:06:30,892
I haven't told her yet.
148
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:34,937
Maybe I'll eat smoked salmon
and raw eggs in front of her,
149
00:06:35,146 --> 00:06:36,397
and see if she notices.
150
00:06:41,194 --> 00:06:42,278
"Hey, stranger.
151
00:06:42,487 --> 00:06:43,821
Picking up some chairs
for a client.
152
00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:46,199
Wanna join and grab
some furniture for your flat?"
153
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:47,700
- Is that Ford?
- Mm-hmm.
154
00:06:47,909 --> 00:06:49,535
Say yes.
He's like a furniture savant.
155
00:06:49,744 --> 00:06:51,788
So the last time I saw him,
156
00:06:51,996 --> 00:06:54,123
we kissed,
and then he threw me out.
157
00:06:54,332 --> 00:06:55,750
Well, said he had to work.
158
00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:58,920
I have never waited this long
for someone to bang me.
159
00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:01,923
It's kind of fun, weirdly.
160
00:07:02,131 --> 00:07:03,132
For now.
161
00:07:03,341 --> 00:07:05,134
Guy better be an animal in bed.
162
00:07:05,635 --> 00:07:06,302
I wouldn't know.
163
00:07:06,511 --> 00:07:08,971
I closed my eyes and
pictured Scarlett Johansson.
164
00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:10,473
But I've heard glowing accounts.
165
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,517
Well, if I find out
before I'm 40,
166
00:07:12,725 --> 00:07:13,434
I'll let you know.
167
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,898
Any bites yet?
168
00:07:19,399 --> 00:07:21,984
Maybe we should change
her profile description.
169
00:07:22,193 --> 00:07:23,319
What does it say now?
170
00:07:23,528 --> 00:07:25,279
"Sassy Russian ex-prostitute
171
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:27,281
seeks single geriatric male
172
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:30,034
with piles of money
and a terminal illness."
173
00:07:30,243 --> 00:07:31,411
Subtle.
174
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,538
Guy named Gerald
seems interested.
175
00:07:33,746 --> 00:07:35,456
Luxury cigar importer.
176
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:38,793
Hey, guess what we're doing.
177
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,878
I can find my own rich husband.
178
00:07:41,087 --> 00:07:43,464
We know that you can,
but if a wealthy cigar importer
179
00:07:43,673 --> 00:07:45,258
comes into The Alibi tonight,
it won't kill you
180
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:46,968
to smile and have a drink.
181
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,719
What is the point of smiling?
182
00:07:48,928 --> 00:07:50,680
Make other people feel good.
183
00:07:51,222 --> 00:07:52,807
I make people feel good
other ways.
184
00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:53,850
Yes, you do.
185
00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:55,226
But there are some situations
186
00:07:55,435 --> 00:07:56,936
where hand jobs
are not appropriate.
187
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:04,819
American mid-century modern.
188
00:08:06,279 --> 00:08:07,280
Mm.
189
00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:08,656
That's cool.
190
00:08:09,449 --> 00:08:12,243
Reference to the Danish
design movement of the 1950s.
191
00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:21,002
Try it.
192
00:08:25,089 --> 00:08:27,091
- It's comfy.
- Mm-hmm.
193
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:30,428
- Not sure it's me though.
- Says who?
194
00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:33,431
You get to choose that.
That's what design is for.
195
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:36,017
Decide who you want to be.
196
00:08:48,029 --> 00:08:48,946
Thank you.
197
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,619
- What the fuck was that?
- Uh, Greek.
198
00:08:54,827 --> 00:08:57,038
I lived in a monastery
in Macedonia for a while.
199
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:58,498
Of course you did.
200
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:01,250
And I just scored you
a $2,000 chair for 450,
201
00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:03,002
which is insane.
202
00:09:03,211 --> 00:09:07,048
I'm not gonna spend
$450 on a chair.
203
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:09,008
It's not a chair.
204
00:09:09,217 --> 00:09:11,594
It's an investment
in your future self.
205
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,180
How much that building cost you?
206
00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:17,767
It was a lot more than I had.
207
00:09:18,309 --> 00:09:19,936
Why'd you buy it then?
208
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:23,898
You're good.
209
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,242
- Hi.
- Hi. Inmate's name?
210
00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:36,118
It's, uh, Clyde Youens.
211
00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:39,914
Y-O-U-E-N-S.
212
00:09:45,211 --> 00:09:47,088
I'm sorry, he's deceased.
213
00:09:51,092 --> 00:09:51,968
What?
214
00:09:52,552 --> 00:09:55,179
There was an incident.
He didn't survive.
215
00:09:57,473 --> 00:09:59,183
W... when?
216
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:03,646
Tuesday.
217
00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:06,899
Next of kin was contacted
and the body was claimed.
218
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:10,861
Next.
219
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:17,952
- Hi.
- Hey.
220
00:10:19,412 --> 00:10:20,955
Here for Paddy, 4629...
221
00:10:54,196 --> 00:10:56,449
They're kicking him out
of the hospital in the morning.
222
00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:59,076
And how is this my problem, huh?
223
00:10:59,452 --> 00:11:00,828
He fell.
I didn't push him.
224
00:11:01,037 --> 00:11:02,872
He worked six hours;
he'll get his 150 bucks
225
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,498
when the job is done
and I get paid.
226
00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:05,791
That's how this works.
227
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:06,959
We're not leaving this spot
228
00:11:07,168 --> 00:11:08,127
until we get out our money.
229
00:11:08,336 --> 00:11:09,253
Whatever!
230
00:11:11,631 --> 00:11:13,174
Sorry to bother you.
231
00:11:13,591 --> 00:11:15,384
Do you mind if my kids
use your bathroom?
232
00:11:20,348 --> 00:11:21,349
Sure.
233
00:11:23,017 --> 00:11:24,226
We love you, Ian!
234
00:11:24,435 --> 00:11:25,478
There he is.
Look, it's Ian.
235
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,271
- Ian! Ian!
- Can you come to our...
236
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,982
- What's up, guys?
- My boyfriend is gonna flip.
237
00:11:30,191 --> 00:11:31,359
He can't stop talking about you.
238
00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:33,402
Could you, uh,
record a message for him?
239
00:11:33,611 --> 00:11:34,737
His name's Nico James.
240
00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,697
Mr. Gallagher,
hi, I'm Reverend Murphy.
241
00:11:36,906 --> 00:11:38,616
I'm a pastor at
Trinity and Life Evangelical...
242
00:11:38,824 --> 00:11:40,284
Oh, we don't need
any more ministers,
243
00:11:40,493 --> 00:11:42,036
but if you want to give money,
that'd be cool...
244
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:43,496
I'm not here for me.
245
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,748
Some folks from my church
wanted to meet you.
246
00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:47,375
This is Alice.
247
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:49,877
Her parents put her through
conversion therapy twice.
248
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,004
She has something for you.
249
00:11:53,047 --> 00:11:54,465
Go on, honey.
250
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,182
Wow.
251
00:12:03,391 --> 00:12:04,517
That, uh, tha...
252
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,686
you drew this?
Thank you.
253
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,771
Can you, like, heal people?
254
00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:10,690
I'm a paramedic, so...
255
00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:12,525
Well, when are you gonna
perform your next miracle?
256
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,236
Oh, no, I don't
perform miracles.
257
00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:17,405
Do you... I'm sorry,
I only saw the one video.
258
00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:19,532
- What is your ministry, again?
- I don't have one.
259
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:20,783
I just kind of show up
260
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:23,160
to these conversion things
and argue with assholes.
261
00:12:23,369 --> 00:12:25,329
I... lead meetings at this
youth center if you guys want...
262
00:12:25,538 --> 00:12:26,580
My boyfriend needs help.
263
00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:28,999
Could you talk to him?
264
00:12:44,098 --> 00:12:47,059
Oh, well, lookee here,
Mr. Popularity.
265
00:12:47,268 --> 00:12:48,894
- Mr. Viral Sensation.
- Okay.
266
00:12:49,103 --> 00:12:51,063
Mr. King of the Queens.
267
00:12:51,272 --> 00:12:53,107
Kind of hoping
they'll lose interest.
268
00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,734
Yeah, well, there's more
and more of them every day.
269
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,152
They're blocking
the garage door.
270
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:57,570
I'm gonna have to
park the ambulance
271
00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,447
outside by the curb
so I don't accidentally
272
00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:00,531
run somebody over.
273
00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:02,324
What do they even want?
274
00:13:02,533 --> 00:13:03,409
Uh...
275
00:13:04,285 --> 00:13:06,162
Guess they just want
to be seen by...
276
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:07,997
someone who sees 'em back.
277
00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:09,498
Oh, please.
278
00:13:09,707 --> 00:13:11,459
Looks to me like they want to
douse you in syrup
279
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,419
and slurp you up with a spoon.
280
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:16,839
Could be down for that.
281
00:13:20,551 --> 00:13:21,635
That chair suits you.
282
00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:24,388
Might be the first time
I bought something
283
00:13:24,597 --> 00:13:26,265
I didn't actually need.
284
00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:28,267
Beautiful, functional
everyday objects
285
00:13:28,476 --> 00:13:29,643
should be affordable.
286
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,479
My idea of affordable is
looting the house
287
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:34,398
of the neighbor who just OD'd
so I don't gotta buy new shit.
288
00:13:34,607 --> 00:13:37,693
I've got an old coffee maker
that needs a loving home.
289
00:13:37,902 --> 00:13:40,446
Ooh.
Now you're talking.
290
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,656
Maybe I'll come by
your place later?
291
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,492
- Pick it up?
- I got plans tonight.
292
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:45,743
I'll drop it off tomorrow.
293
00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:52,374
How long have they
been in there?
294
00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:53,793
About 20 minutes.
295
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:54,960
Are they bathing?
296
00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:57,087
I think they might be.
297
00:13:57,296 --> 00:13:58,464
Why would they do that?
298
00:13:59,131 --> 00:14:00,633
You think they're homeless?
299
00:14:14,605 --> 00:14:16,816
Jesus, you startled me.
300
00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:18,901
I didn't think
anybody else had keys.
301
00:14:19,485 --> 00:14:20,820
I'm sorry, who are you?
302
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,738
Oh, I'm Lip.
Um.
303
00:14:23,948 --> 00:14:25,574
Phillip Gallagher.
304
00:14:25,783 --> 00:14:26,659
Who are you?
305
00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:28,786
I'm... I'm Tabitha, his daughter.
306
00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:31,330
I... um, are you a student?
307
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:32,790
No, I was.
308
00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:35,501
I was helping him
after the accident.
309
00:14:37,503 --> 00:14:39,922
Accident? I thought
he was arrested for a DUI.
310
00:14:41,549 --> 00:14:42,633
You know what?
It's okay.
311
00:14:42,842 --> 00:14:44,134
I don't even want to know.
312
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:47,555
Jesus Christ, this week.
313
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:51,934
You... you do know he's dead,
right?
314
00:14:53,519 --> 00:14:54,520
What happened?
315
00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:57,231
He had, uh, a seizure.
316
00:14:57,773 --> 00:14:59,441
Alcohol withdrawal.
Hit his head.
317
00:15:00,109 --> 00:15:01,652
- Jesus.
- Yeah.
318
00:15:03,362 --> 00:15:04,655
There's a memorial service
tomorrow,
319
00:15:04,864 --> 00:15:06,991
and the students are welcome
to say a few words if you like.
320
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,243
Oh, no one told me.
321
00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:11,620
The school said
they sent out an email.
322
00:15:11,829 --> 00:15:13,956
I-I-I'm sorry,
who are you again?
323
00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:17,251
I picked up your dad...
from jail,
324
00:15:17,877 --> 00:15:18,711
after the DUI.
325
00:15:19,253 --> 00:15:21,130
I bought him groceries.
I...
326
00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:22,715
Did he pay you?
327
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:24,550
No, he didn't pay me.
328
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,846
He...
covered the cost of my rehab.
329
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:30,848
And he got me an internship.
330
00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:32,057
He-he tried to
convince the school
331
00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:33,225
to revoke my expulsion.
332
00:15:33,434 --> 00:15:34,894
He listened to me.
He...
333
00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:37,730
listened to me about everything.
334
00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:40,983
Well, glad you were
so well-parented by my dad.
335
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,696
Look, I-I have this covered.
336
00:15:45,905 --> 00:15:47,448
You can leave your key
on the way out.
337
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,075
Thanks.
338
00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:51,785
Sure.
339
00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:09,345
Here you are, sir.
340
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,013
On the house.
341
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,098
- Oh, thank you.
- Of course.
342
00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:16,185
Our elders are
a precious resource.
343
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,020
Thanks for staying alive.
344
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:19,772
I'll drink to that.
345
00:16:29,573 --> 00:16:31,283
My, my.
346
00:16:31,909 --> 00:16:33,452
You must be Svetlana.
347
00:16:33,661 --> 00:16:36,246
Wow.
What a knockout.
348
00:16:36,914 --> 00:16:37,915
Good evening, ma'am.
349
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,292
May I procure you a cocktail?
350
00:16:40,918 --> 00:16:41,794
Vodka.
351
00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:44,672
Your profile was, uh,
352
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,966
quite provocative.
353
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,135
You were an escort
for a time, weren't you?
354
00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:51,553
Hand whore.
355
00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:53,305
Occasional
cocksucking and fucking.
356
00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:54,431
What is your name?
357
00:16:55,391 --> 00:16:57,059
- Gerald.
- "Gerald."
358
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,520
Sounds like bald man
drowning in hot soup.
359
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:00,688
Huh?
360
00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:02,523
There you are, m'lady.
361
00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:04,942
What would it run me if, uh,
362
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,653
you and I were to take
a walk out to my vehicle
363
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:10,114
and you were to
keep me company for 30 minutes?
364
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:14,243
$900,000.
365
00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:20,791
Forty bucks.
366
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,377
And you take off your shoes
so I don't get any...
367
00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:25,129
dirt on my seat.
368
00:17:25,963 --> 00:17:27,631
Oh!
369
00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:34,471
Could've gone worse.
370
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:35,806
Don't know how.
371
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:41,311
It sucks when people use God as
an excuse for their own hatred,
372
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:45,441
and when it's your family,
it's the worst.
373
00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:46,525
Look,
374
00:17:47,735 --> 00:17:49,445
I know you don't
want to hurt your parents,
375
00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:51,655
but sometimes they forget.
376
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:55,367
God creates us all
in his own image.
377
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,286
We gotta jog their memory.
378
00:17:57,494 --> 00:18:00,581
If they believe that God hates
the same people as they do,
379
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:03,876
well, they're creating God
in their image.
380
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:05,836
That's right. That's right.
381
00:18:06,045 --> 00:18:09,048
We all have a Holy Spirit.
382
00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:11,592
We're all holy.
383
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:12,760
We're all divine...
384
00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:14,136
Jesus, listen to that.
385
00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:16,680
Oh, I know.
He's like a prophet.
386
00:18:16,889 --> 00:18:18,057
And he's super hot too.
387
00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:20,434
Like hot gay Jesus.
388
00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:25,689
"Hot gay Jesus."
389
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,859
Bet we can make money
off of that.
390
00:18:29,068 --> 00:18:30,235
How?
391
00:18:30,444 --> 00:18:32,488
Ring the right bell
for the right causes,
392
00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:34,573
the guilt-ridden
pry open their wallets.
393
00:18:34,782 --> 00:18:36,450
It's Pavlovian.
394
00:18:36,909 --> 00:18:39,703
Righteousness
is very marketable.
395
00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:41,830
What's that all about?
396
00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:44,124
Uh, just a queer
religious rebellion
397
00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,710
led by your gay brother.
No biggie.
398
00:18:46,919 --> 00:18:48,295
We all have
the Trinity inside of us.
399
00:18:48,504 --> 00:18:49,963
I'd like to read a passage
from Romans now.
400
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,511
- Who are we hiding from?
- The union workers.
401
00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:56,804
We gotta wait till
they leave for the night.
402
00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:58,472
- How do we get paid?
- Cash.
403
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,265
We meet tomorrow, location TBA,
404
00:19:00,474 --> 00:19:01,558
and they'll text the address.
405
00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:04,311
My God.
This is so exciting.
406
00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:10,984
Everybody, let's go, let's go.
407
00:19:17,783 --> 00:19:18,992
OMG.
That was amazing.
408
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:20,285
Your brother is,
like, everything.
409
00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:22,037
And they all ate my popovers.
410
00:19:22,246 --> 00:19:23,956
God, I am really fucking happy.
411
00:19:24,498 --> 00:19:25,707
- Are you?
- Yeah.
412
00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:27,543
But are you, like,
really fucking happy
413
00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:28,877
or are you just, like, meh?
414
00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:30,420
I'm really fuckin' happy.
415
00:19:30,629 --> 00:19:32,965
Yay.
416
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,551
- Hey, what you writing?
- A list.
417
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:37,845
"Swiss Army knife, stun gun,
418
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:39,555
retractable night stick,"
what-what is this shit?
419
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:40,931
List for school.
Give it back.
420
00:19:41,140 --> 00:19:43,100
Wait, military school?
421
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:44,810
You said that
you weren't going back.
422
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,311
We're engaged!
423
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,230
I never said
I wasn't going back.
424
00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:49,648
I've been packing my duffel bag
all week.
425
00:19:49,857 --> 00:19:50,858
Oh, I'm sorry.
426
00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:52,151
I guess I've been just too busy
427
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,610
buying your fuckin' family shit
428
00:19:53,819 --> 00:19:55,404
and-and making
a fucking life for us.
429
00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:57,906
Meanwhile, you've just
been shitting all over it.
430
00:19:58,115 --> 00:20:00,284
Why did we even bother
getting engaged?
431
00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:03,078
Why did I fucking
cut myself for you?
432
00:20:03,287 --> 00:20:04,663
We'll
make it work; you'll come visit.
433
00:20:04,872 --> 00:20:06,540
- We'll scout motels.
- Motels?
434
00:20:07,166 --> 00:20:08,959
What am I, a prostitute?
435
00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:10,878
No, I never said that!
436
00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:12,963
You are so full of shit, Carl!
437
00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:15,465
- You don't even love me!
- Of course I love you!
438
00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:16,967
Well, you don't love me enough!
439
00:20:17,176 --> 00:20:18,635
Then how do I prove it to you?
440
00:20:18,844 --> 00:20:20,512
Um, you're not supposed to ask
441
00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:23,056
how you prove to love somebody,
you should just prove it.
442
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:24,892
Well, obviously
it's not fuckin' enough.
443
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,185
Uh, yeah,
because your real goal is
444
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:27,978
to go back to military school.
445
00:20:28,187 --> 00:20:30,439
Of course that doesn't
make me think that you love me!
446
00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:45,996
I want you to stay here
447
00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:47,623
and be my husband!
448
00:20:48,874 --> 00:20:50,125
Reverend Murph,
449
00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:51,418
this is my sister Fiona.
450
00:20:51,627 --> 00:20:53,378
- Pleasure.
- Hi.
451
00:20:54,588 --> 00:20:56,256
I'm super impressed, dude.
452
00:20:56,465 --> 00:20:57,716
The only way I can
get that many people
453
00:20:57,925 --> 00:21:00,052
is if I offer free pizza.
454
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:02,054
No, it's just
'cause of that video.
455
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,806
No.
You got something, man.
456
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,308
Bunch of folks
who couldn't make it
457
00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:07,976
already messaged me
about the next one.
458
00:21:08,477 --> 00:21:09,770
Oh, I definitely can't
fit more people in here
459
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,271
than I did tonight.
460
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,649
Would you feel weird
about using our parish hall?
461
00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:15,400
No pressure.
462
00:21:15,609 --> 00:21:17,444
Just shoot me a text
when you decide,
463
00:21:17,653 --> 00:21:18,695
I'll send you the address.
464
00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:22,157
Thanks for the beer.
465
00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:29,623
How's the new place?
466
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,543
Small.
Quiet.
467
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:36,255
- I bought a chair.
- Oh.
468
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,174
Your, uh, fellowship thing
469
00:21:39,383 --> 00:21:41,426
seems to be doing well.
470
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,096
First Gallagher
to become famous for something
471
00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:45,764
other than larceny or assault.
472
00:21:45,973 --> 00:21:47,474
Ha, yeah.
473
00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:49,643
It's, uh...
474
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:52,813
it's getting pretty out of hand.
475
00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:54,856
I got people showing up
at my home,
476
00:21:55,065 --> 00:21:57,317
church place, work.
477
00:21:58,193 --> 00:22:00,153
I had to shut down
my Facebook page.
478
00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:02,531
So why not quit
if you hate it so much?
479
00:22:03,115 --> 00:22:04,533
I don't.
480
00:22:04,741 --> 00:22:07,953
Just... trying to manage it.
481
00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:11,415
She's back to flipping
out again about military school.
482
00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:14,251
Says I can't go
'cause we're engaged.
483
00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:15,919
Wait, you're actually engaged?
484
00:22:16,128 --> 00:22:18,547
- I thought that was a joke.
- Don't marry her.
485
00:22:18,755 --> 00:22:20,132
I can't lose her.
486
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:21,633
She's fun, hot,
487
00:22:21,842 --> 00:22:22,843
rich, hot.
488
00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:24,219
She loves me.
489
00:22:24,428 --> 00:22:25,429
No one's ever
loved me this hard.
490
00:22:25,762 --> 00:22:27,222
Do not marry her, okay?
491
00:22:27,431 --> 00:22:28,974
She is a fucking psycho.
492
00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:31,518
Marry her.
493
00:22:31,727 --> 00:22:33,979
Hear me and heed me.
494
00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:38,775
Do not let that frothing piece
of lady meat out of your sight.
495
00:22:38,984 --> 00:22:40,694
She has a trust fund.
496
00:22:40,902 --> 00:22:41,862
Get joint checking.
497
00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:45,407
And whatever you do,
do not sign a prenup.
498
00:22:46,116 --> 00:22:47,326
Hey.
499
00:22:47,784 --> 00:22:50,203
It's Gay Jesus.
500
00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:52,873
Can I have this?
501
00:23:13,894 --> 00:23:15,645
Hey!
Scabs!
502
00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:18,565
- Go, go!
- Fuckin' run!
503
00:23:18,774 --> 00:23:19,608
- Oh, fuck!
- Get back here!
504
00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:21,276
Debbie!
Debbie, run!
505
00:23:23,987 --> 00:23:25,614
Come here, you motherfucker!
506
00:24:36,184 --> 00:24:36,935
Hey!
507
00:24:37,144 --> 00:24:38,353
How ya feeling?
508
00:24:38,562 --> 00:24:39,479
Like shit.
509
00:24:39,938 --> 00:24:41,189
Sorry to hear that.
510
00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:44,151
Your boss emailed me.
511
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:46,445
He finished the job,
sent me an invoice.
512
00:24:46,653 --> 00:24:49,030
Probably want to track
him down so you can get paid.
513
00:24:49,239 --> 00:24:50,532
Thanks for the heads up.
514
00:24:58,081 --> 00:25:00,750
Okay.
You did really well last night.
515
00:25:01,042 --> 00:25:03,503
However, we need
to tone down the rage a little.
516
00:25:03,712 --> 00:25:05,422
You're not gonna get anywhere
if your date thinks
517
00:25:05,630 --> 00:25:07,716
you want to murder him
the second he ties the knot.
518
00:25:07,924 --> 00:25:09,718
- What if I do?
- Great question.
519
00:25:09,926 --> 00:25:13,889
Which brings us to Part A
of our plan: etiquette.
520
00:25:16,641 --> 00:25:18,977
Rich guys are old school.
521
00:25:19,436 --> 00:25:21,396
They want a lady to be a lady.
522
00:25:21,938 --> 00:25:23,732
A man wants to feel powerful.
523
00:25:24,316 --> 00:25:25,108
Really powerful.
524
00:25:25,317 --> 00:25:27,027
So let him dominate
the conversation.
525
00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:29,237
Act like he's
totally fascinating.
526
00:25:29,446 --> 00:25:30,655
I cannot do this.
527
00:25:30,864 --> 00:25:32,699
Okay, this brings us
to Part B of our plan.
528
00:25:35,952 --> 00:25:38,622
This is a tiny microphone.
Attach it to your shirt.
529
00:25:43,793 --> 00:25:46,796
This is a tiny earpiece.
Put this in your ear.
530
00:25:47,255 --> 00:25:48,840
Oh, come on, Svet.
You're Russian.
531
00:25:49,382 --> 00:25:51,092
This is spy shit.
It's in your DNA.
532
00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:57,390
Testing, testing.
Can you hear me?
533
00:25:57,807 --> 00:25:58,600
You are right there.
534
00:25:58,808 --> 00:26:00,644
I meant in the thingy.
535
00:26:04,064 --> 00:26:04,940
Can you hear me?
536
00:26:05,315 --> 00:26:06,274
Yes.
537
00:26:06,483 --> 00:26:07,859
Okay.
Do everything I say.
538
00:26:08,068 --> 00:26:08,902
Scratch your nose.
539
00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:13,240
Tuck your hair behind your ear.
540
00:26:15,075 --> 00:26:16,159
Excellent.
541
00:26:16,701 --> 00:26:18,787
Say, "Kevin Ball
has a sexy voice."
542
00:26:19,287 --> 00:26:20,580
Why should I lie?
543
00:26:20,956 --> 00:26:21,998
Say it.
544
00:26:23,667 --> 00:26:25,961
Kevin Ball has a sexy voice.
545
00:26:26,169 --> 00:26:27,212
Mmm.
546
00:26:30,882 --> 00:26:32,467
What the fuck was that
last night?
547
00:26:33,260 --> 00:26:34,553
I never said it was risk-free.
548
00:26:34,761 --> 00:26:36,096
You also never said
549
00:26:36,304 --> 00:26:37,847
we'd be running for our lives.
550
00:26:38,056 --> 00:26:39,849
Why'd they hire us instead
of hiring their own guys?
551
00:26:40,058 --> 00:26:41,226
Scabs are non-union.
552
00:26:41,434 --> 00:26:44,145
Union guys get overtime,
pension, health.
553
00:26:44,354 --> 00:26:47,148
So we're screwing over a union
we want to join someday?
554
00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:48,984
If we don't take the work,
someone else will.
555
00:26:49,192 --> 00:26:50,527
It's wrong and it's dangerous.
556
00:26:50,735 --> 00:26:51,861
I'm never being a scab again.
557
00:26:54,823 --> 00:26:56,783
Hey, just got a tip
for another gig.
558
00:26:56,992 --> 00:26:58,118
Pays even more.
559
00:27:00,161 --> 00:27:02,163
Five hundred.
560
00:27:02,372 --> 00:27:03,331
I'm in.
561
00:27:12,924 --> 00:27:13,800
Hi.
562
00:27:14,759 --> 00:27:16,219
What you got there?
563
00:27:16,845 --> 00:27:18,471
Free appliance.
564
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,515
Works great if you're patient.
565
00:27:20,724 --> 00:27:22,517
Is that a shitty,
old percolator?
566
00:27:22,726 --> 00:27:24,477
It's Italian.
It's art.
567
00:27:27,230 --> 00:27:28,481
Hey.
568
00:27:28,690 --> 00:27:30,442
What are you guys
still doing here?
569
00:27:31,234 --> 00:27:32,193
We can't leave.
570
00:27:32,402 --> 00:27:34,029
Rodney won't
fit in the car with his leg.
571
00:27:34,237 --> 00:27:37,115
Plus, our AC is busted.
572
00:27:37,324 --> 00:27:38,742
You know anybody with an SUV?
573
00:27:38,950 --> 00:27:40,869
Or I can take you somewhere.
Where you headed?
574
00:27:44,748 --> 00:27:46,708
Is there, uh, some family
you can stay with
575
00:27:46,916 --> 00:27:48,418
or maybe an old neighbor?
576
00:27:48,627 --> 00:27:50,253
Oh, we've been looking
into some charity housing,
577
00:27:50,462 --> 00:27:52,339
but they all have a wait list.
578
00:27:52,547 --> 00:27:54,466
I know someone
who works with local shelters.
579
00:27:54,674 --> 00:27:57,093
I can ask him if he maybe knows
a place that could take you.
580
00:27:57,552 --> 00:27:59,804
- Wow, you'd do that?
- Sure.
581
00:28:24,162 --> 00:28:24,829
Hey.
582
00:28:25,038 --> 00:28:25,914
What the fuck?
583
00:28:26,539 --> 00:28:27,499
Hey, baby.
584
00:28:27,707 --> 00:28:29,501
You cut up all my uniforms?
585
00:28:29,709 --> 00:28:31,169
Well, I weighed out
the pros and cons,
586
00:28:31,378 --> 00:28:32,921
and I made a decision
for our family.
587
00:28:33,129 --> 00:28:34,756
I think that it's
better for everyone
588
00:28:34,964 --> 00:28:36,216
that you don't
go back to school.
589
00:28:36,424 --> 00:28:38,093
We have a wedding to plan.
590
00:28:38,301 --> 00:28:39,552
Kassidi.
591
00:28:39,761 --> 00:28:41,012
Don't say my name like that.
592
00:28:41,221 --> 00:28:43,014
- Kassidi...
- Do not
593
00:28:43,223 --> 00:28:45,100
say my name like that,
I mean it, Carl.
594
00:28:45,308 --> 00:28:47,227
Kassidi, this is not a joke!
595
00:28:47,435 --> 00:28:49,396
I am going back
to military school.
596
00:28:49,604 --> 00:28:51,022
I hate you!
597
00:28:51,898 --> 00:28:52,941
Hey!
598
00:28:53,149 --> 00:28:54,609
Fuck. Wait!
599
00:28:54,818 --> 00:28:56,319
You can't leave me! I'll die!
600
00:28:56,528 --> 00:28:58,113
Hey, what the fuck!
You're not gonna die!
601
00:28:58,321 --> 00:28:59,739
We're gonna see each other
like once a week!
602
00:28:59,948 --> 00:29:01,408
- I can't!
- Open up the door!
603
00:29:01,616 --> 00:29:03,076
- I need you!
- What the fuck? You kidding me?
604
00:29:03,284 --> 00:29:04,577
This engagement is bullshit!
605
00:29:04,786 --> 00:29:06,037
What?
What the fuck?
606
00:29:06,246 --> 00:29:07,831
I paid like 100 bucks for that!
607
00:29:08,039 --> 00:29:09,124
- Fuck you!
- Come on!
608
00:29:09,332 --> 00:29:10,417
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
609
00:29:10,625 --> 00:29:13,837
Oh, my God!
What do you want me to do?
610
00:29:14,587 --> 00:29:16,423
Marry me before you
leave, dumbass.
611
00:29:16,631 --> 00:29:17,799
You love me, right?
612
00:29:18,007 --> 00:29:19,467
Then what's
the point in waiting?
613
00:29:19,676 --> 00:29:21,678
Okay, fine.
614
00:29:21,886 --> 00:29:23,596
- Today?
- Yeah, sure.
615
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,394
But... do you have a fake ID?
616
00:29:29,602 --> 00:29:31,229
Yeah.-
617
00:29:36,901 --> 00:29:38,403
- Hey.
- Hey.
618
00:29:38,987 --> 00:29:39,779
Where's Ian?
619
00:29:39,988 --> 00:29:41,448
I don't know.
I haven't seen him.
620
00:29:41,656 --> 00:29:42,657
Fuck.
621
00:29:43,366 --> 00:29:45,493
He was supposed to be here
like an hour ago to help set up.
622
00:29:45,702 --> 00:29:47,829
Doing this thing about
careers in emergency services
623
00:29:48,037 --> 00:29:49,330
for our Life Skills program.
624
00:29:49,539 --> 00:29:52,292
Shit-ton of people signed up
because of him, but...
625
00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:53,710
whatever.
626
00:29:54,252 --> 00:29:55,170
What's up?
627
00:29:55,378 --> 00:29:56,713
Uh, one of the guys
628
00:29:56,921 --> 00:29:58,465
who was working on my roof
got hurt.
629
00:29:58,673 --> 00:30:00,258
He's gonna be out of work
for a few months,
630
00:30:00,467 --> 00:30:02,677
and his family's
living out of a car.
631
00:30:02,886 --> 00:30:04,137
I was wondering if you might
know any
632
00:30:04,345 --> 00:30:06,181
family shelters
that could take him?
633
00:30:06,389 --> 00:30:08,975
Um, I might, actually.
Follow me.
634
00:30:12,437 --> 00:30:14,606
So, uh, what's your take
on this whole, uh,
635
00:30:14,814 --> 00:30:17,400
Ian ambushing
all those ministers?
636
00:30:18,026 --> 00:30:18,985
Uh,
637
00:30:19,194 --> 00:30:21,571
not really sure
what to make of it.
638
00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:22,614
Ah, yeah.
639
00:30:22,822 --> 00:30:24,991
I mean, part of me is psyched
640
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:26,785
that he's helping people, but
641
00:30:26,993 --> 00:30:29,037
another part is, I don't know,
642
00:30:29,245 --> 00:30:31,372
kind of bummed that I have to
crowbar my way into his life
643
00:30:31,581 --> 00:30:33,374
if I want to see him.
644
00:30:33,583 --> 00:30:34,250
Oh.
645
00:30:35,627 --> 00:30:37,170
This place is decent.
646
00:30:37,378 --> 00:30:38,880
I'll call over and
get everything squared away
647
00:30:39,088 --> 00:30:39,881
and let you know.
648
00:30:40,507 --> 00:30:41,132
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
649
00:30:41,341 --> 00:30:42,926
And, hey, if you see Ian,
please...
650
00:30:43,134 --> 00:30:44,010
- Yes.
- Thank you.
651
00:30:44,219 --> 00:30:45,094
Will do.
652
00:30:45,678 --> 00:30:47,055
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
653
00:30:53,102 --> 00:30:55,146
The fuck is this, Frank?
654
00:30:55,355 --> 00:30:57,774
Son, I don't think
I've articulated
655
00:30:57,982 --> 00:31:00,652
how impressed I am
with your recent endeavors.
656
00:31:00,860 --> 00:31:02,779
I knew you were talented,
but, uh...
657
00:31:02,987 --> 00:31:05,615
"The Church of Gay Jesus."
Is this a jumbo shirt?
658
00:31:06,157 --> 00:31:07,033
To reach the masses,
659
00:31:07,242 --> 00:31:09,244
you've got to
embrace merchandising
660
00:31:09,452 --> 00:31:11,663
to take your brand
to the next level.
661
00:31:11,996 --> 00:31:15,250
Uh, how about T-shirts
proudly displaying your message?
662
00:31:15,458 --> 00:31:16,960
Well, I-I don't have a church.
663
00:31:17,168 --> 00:31:18,461
And I'm not fuckin' Jesus.
664
00:31:18,670 --> 00:31:20,338
Tongue in cheek, son.
665
00:31:21,005 --> 00:31:23,842
When you repurpose
a-an iconic logo
666
00:31:24,050 --> 00:31:25,677
for the-the sake of kitsch,
667
00:31:25,885 --> 00:31:29,806
you present an ironic critique
of American consumerism.
668
00:31:30,014 --> 00:31:31,808
And if that logo
669
00:31:32,016 --> 00:31:33,977
just happens to resemble a...
670
00:31:34,185 --> 00:31:35,979
giant, throbbing penis,
671
00:31:36,187 --> 00:31:37,772
what could be
more counterculture?
672
00:31:37,981 --> 00:31:40,733
It looks like a hot dog.
And the lettering sucks.
673
00:31:40,942 --> 00:31:44,445
Revolutions don't come
wrapped in a cute ribbon.
674
00:31:44,654 --> 00:31:46,489
You want to bring down
power structures?
675
00:31:46,990 --> 00:31:48,324
You want to get
in the face of people
676
00:31:48,533 --> 00:31:50,535
who are peddling
corroded ideals?
677
00:31:50,743 --> 00:31:54,038
You need a uniform
that screams authenticity.
678
00:31:54,247 --> 00:31:56,666
We didn't pay
Chinese factory orphans
679
00:31:56,875 --> 00:31:58,167
three cents an hour
to make these.
680
00:31:58,376 --> 00:32:00,753
No, this is our living room.
681
00:32:01,337 --> 00:32:02,630
Our hands.
Our sweat.
682
00:32:02,839 --> 00:32:04,299
Talk about grassroots.
683
00:32:06,384 --> 00:32:09,345
I have a meeting tonight at
Trinity and Life Evangelical.
684
00:32:09,554 --> 00:32:11,014
You can hawk
your shit there, but
685
00:32:11,222 --> 00:32:13,683
everything you make
has to go to Trevor's kids.
686
00:32:13,892 --> 00:32:16,311
Oh, come on!
This is my retirement fund.
687
00:32:18,187 --> 00:32:19,397
Twenty percent.
688
00:32:19,981 --> 00:32:21,357
Thirty?
689
00:32:21,566 --> 00:32:24,903
Okay, 95 percent,
and we appreciate your business.
690
00:32:26,738 --> 00:32:29,657
And this has been
a rough few years.
691
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,202
Needless to say,
it hasn't been that easy
692
00:32:33,411 --> 00:32:34,537
being around my dad.
693
00:32:34,746 --> 00:32:36,080
But my favorite memory of him
694
00:32:36,289 --> 00:32:37,916
is this thing that he would do.
695
00:32:38,124 --> 00:32:40,460
So he would be in his office,
696
00:32:40,668 --> 00:32:44,756
hunched over paperwork,
and I'd knock.
697
00:32:44,964 --> 00:32:47,216
And he'd look up, confused.
698
00:32:48,384 --> 00:32:49,552
And then, boom.
699
00:32:50,595 --> 00:32:54,015
It's the... the biggest,
warmest smile.
700
00:32:54,557 --> 00:32:57,685
That is the version of my dad
that I'm going to remember.
701
00:32:57,894 --> 00:32:59,812
And I'm grateful
for every moment
702
00:33:00,021 --> 00:33:01,856
that I had with him
703
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:03,650
when he was just him.
704
00:33:05,652 --> 00:33:08,863
You hear about these professors
who go the extra mile
705
00:33:09,405 --> 00:33:10,448
to help a student.
706
00:33:11,741 --> 00:33:14,953
But what Youens did for me
went above and beyond that.
707
00:33:15,161 --> 00:33:16,663
Got me my first real job.
708
00:33:16,871 --> 00:33:19,415
Listened to me
bitch about my family.
709
00:33:19,624 --> 00:33:20,500
He was there for me.
710
00:33:20,708 --> 00:33:22,126
He got me internships,
711
00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:24,545
wrote dozens of letters
of recommendation,
712
00:33:25,171 --> 00:33:27,423
personally called
the dean at Carnegie Mellon
713
00:33:27,632 --> 00:33:29,926
to get me into the
robotics doctoral program.
714
00:33:30,593 --> 00:33:32,887
Told me once,
he wished he'd been a poet.
715
00:33:33,513 --> 00:33:35,723
And he showed me something
he'd written.
716
00:33:36,349 --> 00:33:38,351
Said I was the only person
717
00:33:38,559 --> 00:33:40,186
he trusted enough to show.
718
00:33:41,771 --> 00:33:42,981
That poem was awful.
719
00:33:44,273 --> 00:33:46,192
And no matter how busy he was,
720
00:33:46,651 --> 00:33:49,028
Youens always
made time to talk to me.
721
00:33:49,529 --> 00:33:51,447
He helped me with
whatever I needed,
722
00:33:51,906 --> 00:33:55,827
listen, offer advice,
wise counsel.
723
00:33:56,035 --> 00:33:57,745
Day or night, it didn't matter,
724
00:33:57,954 --> 00:34:00,623
when you called or
knocked on his door,
725
00:34:00,832 --> 00:34:02,250
he always answered.
726
00:34:04,377 --> 00:34:05,878
Always.
727
00:34:07,964 --> 00:34:09,549
He was like a father to me.
728
00:34:11,592 --> 00:34:13,344
I honestly don't know
where I'd be without him today.
729
00:34:15,805 --> 00:34:19,142
He invested his
time and energy to make sure
730
00:34:19,350 --> 00:34:21,477
I didn't become a total fuck-up.
731
00:34:21,686 --> 00:34:22,645
He didn't have to.
732
00:34:24,272 --> 00:34:26,566
I'm still not sure why he did.
733
00:34:26,774 --> 00:34:29,861
Okay.
My friend found you a place.
734
00:34:30,069 --> 00:34:31,362
It's a family shelter.
735
00:34:31,571 --> 00:34:32,947
They'll have a room for you
in two days.
736
00:34:33,156 --> 00:34:35,324
Girls, we've got
a place to live.
737
00:34:35,533 --> 00:34:38,411
They can take us
in two days, you said?
738
00:34:38,619 --> 00:34:40,038
Mm-hmm.
739
00:34:40,496 --> 00:34:43,416
Oh, we've got the tarp
if it rains again.
740
00:34:52,050 --> 00:34:53,843
Why don't you just
stay here for two nights?
741
00:34:54,385 --> 00:34:55,636
Really?
742
00:34:56,137 --> 00:34:58,056
Yeah.
Not a problem.
743
00:34:58,264 --> 00:35:00,099
I'll just, uh,
I'll crash at my old place.
744
00:35:00,308 --> 00:35:02,560
Oh, my God, Fiona.
745
00:35:02,769 --> 00:35:05,063
Thank you.
You're a lifesaver.
746
00:35:08,941 --> 00:35:12,236
We should go get a blanket
and a bottle of champagne,
747
00:35:12,445 --> 00:35:15,531
go in the park, and lay
in the grass as man and wife,
748
00:35:15,740 --> 00:35:18,409
and let the moon and the stars
bless our union.
749
00:35:22,121 --> 00:35:23,539
Cute!
750
00:35:23,748 --> 00:35:26,209
Now serving: 103.
751
00:35:26,417 --> 00:35:27,168
Oh!
752
00:35:27,376 --> 00:35:28,461
Yay!
That's us.
753
00:35:28,669 --> 00:35:30,004
Okay, come on.
754
00:35:37,261 --> 00:35:38,930
All set.
755
00:35:39,138 --> 00:35:42,892
Your marriage license is valid
for 60 days in Cook County only.
756
00:35:43,101 --> 00:35:44,393
There's a one-day waiting period
757
00:35:44,602 --> 00:35:46,145
before the license
becomes effective.
758
00:35:46,354 --> 00:35:49,524
Wait.
So we can't get married today?
759
00:35:49,732 --> 00:35:51,818
You can get married
at this exact time tomorrow.
760
00:35:52,819 --> 00:35:55,404
What the fuck?
This sucks.
761
00:36:05,414 --> 00:36:07,458
I look like a fucking
First Lady.
762
00:36:07,875 --> 00:36:08,543
Here.
763
00:36:08,751 --> 00:36:09,627
Go cross your legs
764
00:36:09,836 --> 00:36:12,380
and pretend to be captivated.
765
00:36:15,466 --> 00:36:16,968
Smokey to Bobcat.
766
00:36:17,176 --> 00:36:18,886
Do you hear me?
Over.
767
00:36:20,221 --> 00:36:21,889
What are you guys up to?
768
00:36:22,098 --> 00:36:25,017
We're trying to get Svetlana
married off to a rich dude.
769
00:36:25,226 --> 00:36:26,644
So...
770
00:36:26,853 --> 00:36:28,604
you just gave 'em your place,
just like that?
771
00:36:28,813 --> 00:36:30,481
What else was I supposed to do?
772
00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:33,776
Man, I was really digging
my quiet mornings
773
00:36:33,985 --> 00:36:35,736
away from Gallagher chaos.
774
00:36:35,945 --> 00:36:37,321
And it's extra bad right now
775
00:36:37,530 --> 00:36:39,657
'cause of Ian's
gay messiah shit.
776
00:36:39,866 --> 00:36:41,951
He should read
Pope Leo the 13th's
777
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:43,911
encyclical on property rights.
778
00:36:44,829 --> 00:36:46,414
I'll pass it on.
779
00:36:48,374 --> 00:36:50,251
You know, whiskey is actually
780
00:36:50,793 --> 00:36:52,962
clear when it
comes off the still.
781
00:36:53,504 --> 00:36:55,840
It gets the caramel color
from the barrel...
782
00:36:56,048 --> 00:36:57,842
You know, I'm just...
I'm just gonna say this.
783
00:36:58,050 --> 00:36:59,260
Sometimes it feels like
784
00:36:59,468 --> 00:37:01,345
it doesn't even matter
that I'm sitting here.
785
00:37:01,554 --> 00:37:03,306
I know all the places
you've lived.
786
00:37:03,514 --> 00:37:04,891
I know all the languages
you speak.
787
00:37:05,099 --> 00:37:07,768
I've met your exes,
your baby mamas, your spawn.
788
00:37:07,977 --> 00:37:11,522
And yet, you have never asked
one question about me.
789
00:37:11,731 --> 00:37:13,024
Did you know that I became
790
00:37:13,232 --> 00:37:15,484
legal guardian
of my siblings when I was 23?
791
00:37:15,693 --> 00:37:17,153
Or that I dropped out
of high school,
792
00:37:17,361 --> 00:37:19,155
but then I went back
and I got my GED?
793
00:37:19,363 --> 00:37:20,948
Yes, actually, I did.
794
00:37:22,575 --> 00:37:24,744
And I know you did it
to convince your genius brother
795
00:37:24,952 --> 00:37:27,121
who's a recovering alcoholic
to stay in college.
796
00:37:27,872 --> 00:37:30,082
I know you got left at
the altar by your junkie fiancé
797
00:37:30,291 --> 00:37:32,627
with whom you were
very much in love.
798
00:37:32,835 --> 00:37:35,546
- How?
- 'Cause I ask around.
799
00:37:35,755 --> 00:37:37,215
There's some other stuff I know.
800
00:37:37,423 --> 00:37:38,883
You're fiercely protective
of your family.
801
00:37:39,091 --> 00:37:40,343
You're generous.
802
00:37:40,927 --> 00:37:42,011
Like today, for example,
803
00:37:42,220 --> 00:37:44,180
you gave your apartment
to a homeless family.
804
00:37:45,765 --> 00:37:48,517
You are so very much yourself.
805
00:37:49,352 --> 00:37:50,978
You don't even have to try.
806
00:37:53,439 --> 00:37:56,234
And frankly, you scare
the fuckin' shit out of me.
807
00:38:18,130 --> 00:38:19,382
It's him.
It's him.
808
00:38:20,383 --> 00:38:21,842
Svet, Svet.
809
00:38:22,051 --> 00:38:25,596
The buzzard is in the tuba.
The buzzard is in the tuba.
810
00:38:25,805 --> 00:38:27,348
- The what?
- I have no idea.
811
00:38:27,556 --> 00:38:28,683
I've never done this before.
812
00:38:33,854 --> 00:38:35,648
What's she saying?
813
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:38,943
I can't hear anything.
814
00:38:39,151 --> 00:38:42,905
I can't hear anything.
We never tested the microphone.
815
00:38:44,115 --> 00:38:46,075
All right, well,
she needs to relax.
816
00:38:46,284 --> 00:38:48,077
Tell her to lean in a little.
817
00:38:49,453 --> 00:38:51,163
Svetlana, lean in a little.
818
00:38:52,290 --> 00:38:52,915
Too far.
Too far.
819
00:38:53,124 --> 00:38:54,667
Too far.
Too far.
820
00:38:56,419 --> 00:38:57,962
Take a sip of your drink.
821
00:38:59,005 --> 00:39:00,506
Sip, not gulp.
822
00:39:01,382 --> 00:39:03,467
Tell her to-to ask him
about something.
823
00:39:03,676 --> 00:39:04,719
All right.
All right.
824
00:39:04,927 --> 00:39:05,761
All right, Svet.
825
00:39:05,970 --> 00:39:08,014
Ask him about his mother.
826
00:39:08,681 --> 00:39:09,473
No, not his mother.
827
00:39:09,682 --> 00:39:11,976
Ask him about
his favorite sports teams.
828
00:39:12,184 --> 00:39:13,144
Allergies... what the hell
829
00:39:13,352 --> 00:39:15,396
do people talk about on dates?
830
00:39:15,855 --> 00:39:17,815
Did she just drop
her earpiece in her drink?
831
00:39:22,361 --> 00:39:23,070
Oh, no.
832
00:39:23,279 --> 00:39:25,031
She's gonna grab his cock,
isn't she?
833
00:39:29,869 --> 00:39:31,954
Mm-hmm.
Called that one.
834
00:39:32,163 --> 00:39:32,788
T-shirts!
835
00:39:32,997 --> 00:39:34,999
Each garment has been worn
by the man himself.
836
00:39:35,207 --> 00:39:36,000
- And blessed!
- T-shirts.
837
00:39:36,208 --> 00:39:37,626
$50 suggested donation.
838
00:39:37,835 --> 00:39:39,128
The white one?
Okay. Thank you.
839
00:39:39,337 --> 00:39:40,504
T-shirts, T-shirts.
840
00:39:40,713 --> 00:39:41,589
T-shirts,
get your T-shirts here!
841
00:39:41,797 --> 00:39:43,257
Nice turnout.
842
00:39:43,466 --> 00:39:45,801
Only half of them are regulars.
843
00:39:46,010 --> 00:39:47,219
You did great.
844
00:39:47,428 --> 00:39:48,929
I just sat there while
people talked about
845
00:39:49,138 --> 00:39:50,264
how horribly
they'd been treated,
846
00:39:50,473 --> 00:39:52,308
by family, co-workers...
847
00:39:52,516 --> 00:39:54,268
Can you please sign this,
please?
848
00:39:54,477 --> 00:39:55,936
- ...strangers.
- Thank you.
849
00:39:56,145 --> 00:39:57,897
Sometimes that's all they need.
850
00:39:59,231 --> 00:40:00,691
Tomorrow's our weekly service...
851
00:40:00,900 --> 00:40:02,068
- Thanks so much.
- ...where we invite speakers
852
00:40:02,276 --> 00:40:03,611
to come up
and discuss how to turn
853
00:40:03,819 --> 00:40:06,030
personal pain into
positive action.
854
00:40:06,489 --> 00:40:08,032
We call it
"A Night of Good Grief."
855
00:40:08,866 --> 00:40:10,993
The name is silly,
but the idea isn't.
856
00:40:11,202 --> 00:40:12,536
You up for it?
857
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:13,954
Well...
858
00:40:14,622 --> 00:40:18,209
I don't... know what to say
that hasn't already been said.
859
00:40:18,834 --> 00:40:19,877
You say it again.
860
00:40:20,086 --> 00:40:21,712
It can't be said enough,
not until queer kids
861
00:40:21,921 --> 00:40:23,631
stop being told there's
something wrong with them.
862
00:40:23,839 --> 00:40:25,758
It was so worth it.
863
00:41:21,730 --> 00:41:22,773
Fuck!
864
00:41:53,262 --> 00:41:54,013
Hey.
865
00:41:54,221 --> 00:41:55,431
- Hm?
- Hey.
866
00:41:56,098 --> 00:41:57,516
We need to talk.
867
00:41:58,559 --> 00:42:00,060
What?
What?
868
00:42:00,686 --> 00:42:02,146
You gotta promise
not to freak out.
869
00:42:02,688 --> 00:42:03,898
I promise.
870
00:42:04,356 --> 00:42:06,609
Okay.
First of all.
871
00:42:07,067 --> 00:42:08,736
You're, like, the best thing
that's ever happened to me
872
00:42:08,944 --> 00:42:10,905
like, by like a bazillion.
873
00:42:11,405 --> 00:42:13,365
But when we were
at the clerk's office,
874
00:42:13,699 --> 00:42:15,201
and she said we had to wait...
875
00:42:17,119 --> 00:42:18,454
I was relieved.
876
00:42:18,871 --> 00:42:19,830
A little.
877
00:42:21,207 --> 00:42:24,168
'Cause I feel like
we rushed into this.
878
00:42:24,376 --> 00:42:26,003
And I totally want you
to be my wife,
879
00:42:26,253 --> 00:42:27,505
my little sweetie boo.
880
00:42:29,548 --> 00:42:31,175
Would you hate me
881
00:42:31,383 --> 00:42:34,220
if we stayed engaged
a teeny bit longer?
882
00:42:34,428 --> 00:42:35,930
Until we're both
883
00:42:36,639 --> 00:42:40,851
no doubt, positively sure
we're ready?
884
00:42:44,647 --> 00:42:45,940
I could never hate you.
885
00:42:47,358 --> 00:42:49,276
- For real?
- Yeah.
886
00:42:49,902 --> 00:42:52,321
And thank you
for being honest with me.
887
00:42:52,530 --> 00:42:56,158
That's, like, super important
for a healthy marriage.
888
00:42:57,117 --> 00:42:59,036
You are awesome.
889
00:42:59,245 --> 00:43:00,371
I love you.
890
00:43:00,579 --> 00:43:02,248
Mm, I love you too.
891
00:43:04,041 --> 00:43:05,251
Mm.
892
00:43:16,929 --> 00:43:18,806
Okay, okay.
893
00:43:19,014 --> 00:43:20,224
Okay, now.
894
00:43:37,074 --> 00:43:39,034
You're getting pretty good
at that.
895
00:43:40,828 --> 00:43:42,871
Fourth time's the charm.
896
00:43:46,959 --> 00:43:48,127
Well,
897
00:43:48,836 --> 00:43:50,129
two left.
898
00:43:51,255 --> 00:43:53,549
Better hope you tire out soon.
899
00:43:58,178 --> 00:43:59,847
Do you think
I'm the only person on Earth
900
00:44:00,055 --> 00:44:01,473
who doesn't want your babies?
901
00:44:01,682 --> 00:44:03,183
I don't want my babies.
902
00:44:03,392 --> 00:44:05,311
That's why I keep
letting other people have them.
903
00:44:07,146 --> 00:44:09,648
I dig this
candid version of you.
904
00:44:12,067 --> 00:44:15,362
Now... ask me something
about myself.
905
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,325
What's the one thing
about Fiona Gallagher
906
00:44:19,867 --> 00:44:21,493
that might surprise me?
907
00:44:22,453 --> 00:44:23,912
That's a tough one.
908
00:44:24,580 --> 00:44:26,498
You seem to have me
all figured out.
909
00:44:27,041 --> 00:44:28,709
That's my gift.
910
00:44:31,170 --> 00:44:32,838
How about...
911
00:44:36,342 --> 00:44:38,844
I think I might not
want to have kids.
912
00:44:39,553 --> 00:44:41,513
But you're a woman.
How is that possible?
913
00:44:42,890 --> 00:44:46,226
Well, my siblings are my kids.
914
00:44:51,815 --> 00:44:53,317
It's Nessa.
915
00:44:53,525 --> 00:44:54,568
Mm-hmm.
916
00:44:54,777 --> 00:44:55,778
I'm supposed to be analyzing
917
00:44:55,986 --> 00:44:57,488
your skills and reporting back.
918
00:44:57,696 --> 00:44:59,365
And how am I doing so far?
919
00:45:00,032 --> 00:45:01,659
Overall positive.
920
00:45:01,867 --> 00:45:03,786
Happy to give you more data.
921
00:45:03,994 --> 00:45:06,246
Hi.
Can I call you back later?
922
00:45:09,625 --> 00:45:11,251
You're fucking kidding me.
923
00:45:14,963 --> 00:45:16,382
- Thanks for the heads up.
- Any time.
924
00:45:16,715 --> 00:45:19,885
FYI, they just dragged in two
sleeping bags and a pull-up bar.
925
00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:23,180
Hello?
926
00:45:25,057 --> 00:45:26,975
- ...uh-huh.
- Hi.
927
00:45:27,184 --> 00:45:29,186
Now, everyone, this is the lady
928
00:45:29,395 --> 00:45:30,479
who has been helping us.
929
00:45:30,688 --> 00:45:32,439
This is, uh, my sister,
930
00:45:32,648 --> 00:45:35,526
my cousin, his wife,
and their son.
931
00:45:36,110 --> 00:45:37,152
What's going on?
932
00:45:37,361 --> 00:45:38,654
They're paying us to crash here
933
00:45:38,862 --> 00:45:40,447
so we'll have some cash
for the shelter.
934
00:45:40,656 --> 00:45:42,574
Oh, fuck!
My chair!
935
00:45:42,783 --> 00:45:44,827
Ooh, sorry about that.
936
00:45:45,119 --> 00:45:46,995
Good thing
it's an old chair, right?
937
00:46:13,313 --> 00:46:15,315
Hey.
Sorry about last night.
938
00:46:15,524 --> 00:46:16,942
Something came up last minute,
and I'm trying
939
00:46:17,151 --> 00:46:18,819
to juggle everything
but it's snowballing and...
940
00:46:19,027 --> 00:46:19,987
and I...
941
00:46:20,654 --> 00:46:22,030
Hey.
942
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:23,782
- Yeah.
- It's snowballing.
943
00:46:23,991 --> 00:46:25,701
I had like 40 people show up
to this meeting yesterday.
944
00:46:25,909 --> 00:46:27,244
Yeah, and I had 50 kids show up
945
00:46:27,453 --> 00:46:29,788
to a career symposium
about being a paramedic.
946
00:46:29,997 --> 00:46:33,333
But... I guess since yours
is about God, you win, right?
947
00:46:34,293 --> 00:46:36,170
- Hey, hey, Ian.
- One second, guys.
948
00:46:36,962 --> 00:46:38,922
I'm helping people in need,
same as you.
949
00:46:39,131 --> 00:46:40,924
Are you saying it's only cool
when it's your idea?
950
00:46:41,425 --> 00:46:43,051
I don't ask a lot of you.
951
00:46:43,260 --> 00:46:45,846
This was one thing
that was important to me.
952
00:46:46,638 --> 00:46:48,891
You know, maybe
what you're doing is worth
953
00:46:49,099 --> 00:46:50,559
pissing off the people
that care about you.
954
00:46:50,768 --> 00:46:51,685
That's fine.
955
00:46:51,894 --> 00:46:53,187
But don't insult me
956
00:46:53,395 --> 00:46:55,105
by acting like
it's not happening.
957
00:47:09,077 --> 00:47:10,078
Hi.
958
00:47:10,454 --> 00:47:11,997
You didn't speak at the service.
959
00:47:12,748 --> 00:47:15,209
Uh, I was gonna, but...
960
00:47:15,667 --> 00:47:17,961
everything I was gonna say
was already said.
961
00:47:23,133 --> 00:47:24,885
Sorry for your loss.
962
00:47:26,386 --> 00:47:28,680
Yeah, I lost him
a long time ago.
963
00:47:31,266 --> 00:47:33,018
Still doesn't make it easy.
964
00:47:34,269 --> 00:47:36,939
He was a good dad, just, um,
965
00:47:37,356 --> 00:47:38,357
not to me.
966
00:47:39,900 --> 00:47:40,984
I guess it's easier to be
967
00:47:41,193 --> 00:47:43,153
kind to somebody
who looks up to you.
968
00:47:44,029 --> 00:47:44,863
Hey, um,
969
00:47:46,907 --> 00:47:50,035
I found this
going through his paperwork.
970
00:47:50,494 --> 00:47:52,704
It's a draft
of a recommendation letter.
971
00:47:53,789 --> 00:47:55,374
Thought you might want it.
972
00:48:17,729 --> 00:48:19,523
You know, in all of
his years of teaching,
973
00:48:19,773 --> 00:48:22,317
I never heard him
talk about a student like that.
974
00:48:24,361 --> 00:48:26,738
He says he's amazed
by your mind.
975
00:48:35,581 --> 00:48:36,957
You don't want to keep it?
976
00:48:40,168 --> 00:48:42,629
Oh, I think I'm too angry
to keep it.
977
00:49:08,071 --> 00:49:09,156
Kass?
978
00:49:09,615 --> 00:49:11,074
Where you at?
979
00:49:14,453 --> 00:49:16,705
Babe?
980
00:49:16,914 --> 00:49:18,749
Kass!
981
00:49:21,293 --> 00:49:22,502
Oh!
982
00:49:22,711 --> 00:49:24,838
You saved my life!
983
00:49:25,047 --> 00:49:27,633
- You really do love me!
- Yeah.
984
00:49:27,841 --> 00:49:29,009
What time is it?
985
00:49:29,843 --> 00:49:31,094
Like 4:00?
986
00:49:31,303 --> 00:49:33,263
The County Clerk's office
is open til 5:00.
987
00:49:46,860 --> 00:49:48,236
That your new chair?
988
00:49:49,988 --> 00:49:51,448
Why's it over here?
989
00:49:53,367 --> 00:49:56,203
So that the pile of assholes who
are squatting in my apartment
990
00:49:56,411 --> 00:49:58,038
won't destroy it.
991
00:50:00,707 --> 00:50:02,834
Who aren't actually assholes.
992
00:50:03,043 --> 00:50:04,169
They're just poor and broke
993
00:50:04,378 --> 00:50:06,546
and taking advantage of the
situation.
994
00:50:07,047 --> 00:50:08,840
Just like I've done 100 times.
995
00:50:10,509 --> 00:50:11,760
And they aren't squatting.
996
00:50:11,969 --> 00:50:13,261
I told them
that they could stay there.
997
00:50:17,933 --> 00:50:20,519
Did you just get this pic
from Kassidi?
998
00:50:20,727 --> 00:50:21,728
Yeah.
999
00:50:22,896 --> 00:50:24,398
"Birth, marriage, death."
1000
00:50:24,606 --> 00:50:26,066
What the hell is that?
1001
00:50:27,734 --> 00:50:29,486
- I think they got hitched.
- What?
1002
00:50:29,695 --> 00:50:31,989
Yeah, I told him not to.
1003
00:50:32,197 --> 00:50:35,200
Not legally, right?
She's, like, 15.
1004
00:50:41,456 --> 00:50:42,708
Hey.
1005
00:50:42,916 --> 00:50:44,751
Can I get a ride to this church?
1006
00:50:45,002 --> 00:50:48,463
Supposed to speak
at this thing, and I don't know.
1007
00:50:48,672 --> 00:50:51,591
Kinda scared shitless.
I mean...
1008
00:50:52,175 --> 00:50:53,385
I don't do speeches.
1009
00:50:55,053 --> 00:50:56,013
So don't do it.
1010
00:50:56,221 --> 00:50:58,306
Sorta feel like I have to.
1011
00:50:58,515 --> 00:51:00,434
Everyone thinks
that I have something to say.
1012
00:51:02,310 --> 00:51:03,687
What if I don't?
1013
00:51:06,732 --> 00:51:08,734
When they're gone, they're gone,
folks, so don't miss out.
1014
00:51:08,942 --> 00:51:11,111
All profits go to help
gays across the planet.
1015
00:51:11,319 --> 00:51:13,238
Can you give me just one second?
1016
00:51:14,573 --> 00:51:16,450
Are we really gonna give
all of our money to Ian?
1017
00:51:17,075 --> 00:51:18,368
No, of course not.
1018
00:51:18,869 --> 00:51:21,997
Thank you so much for waiting.
Gay Jesus loves and blesses you.
1019
00:51:22,205 --> 00:51:24,124
Get your T-shirts here!
Don't miss out, folks.
1020
00:51:24,332 --> 00:51:26,793
We're runnin' out.
T-shirts.
1021
00:51:33,425 --> 00:51:35,427
Oh, shit.
No wonder you're nervous.
1022
00:51:35,635 --> 00:51:37,846
Did you know that all these
people were gonna be here?
1023
00:51:38,263 --> 00:51:39,681
- No.
- Hey.
1024
00:51:39,931 --> 00:51:41,141
They all came for you.
1025
00:51:41,808 --> 00:51:43,143
Isn't this amazing?
1026
00:52:14,091 --> 00:52:17,094
So I just wanna start out
by saying that I'm no hero.
1027
00:52:17,886 --> 00:52:20,180
I'm just a guy
who keeps showing up
1028
00:52:20,388 --> 00:52:23,809
to these anti-gay churches
and hearing shit like,
1029
00:52:24,351 --> 00:52:26,311
"God created man and woman.
1030
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:29,147
You either look
like a man or a woman.
1031
00:52:29,356 --> 00:52:32,651
Don't... bring us
any of your other shit."
1032
00:52:34,152 --> 00:52:36,113
So they're essentially saying,
1033
00:52:36,321 --> 00:52:38,490
"Don't make me work too hard
1034
00:52:38,824 --> 00:52:41,618
to see you on your own terms,"
right?
1035
00:52:43,537 --> 00:52:48,333
But we have the God-given right
to be who we are.
1036
00:52:48,959 --> 00:52:51,044
Not who others want us to be.
1037
00:52:51,670 --> 00:52:53,880
So when they say shit like,
1038
00:52:54,089 --> 00:52:57,342
"Don't use fake words
like 'nonbinary'
1039
00:52:57,551 --> 00:53:01,763
or 'gender-fluid, '
'cis-whatever, '" it's like...
1040
00:53:03,807 --> 00:53:05,934
Those are my terms, bitch.
1041
00:53:06,476 --> 00:53:07,894
Mm-hmm, yep.
1042
00:53:16,403 --> 00:53:17,821
Mm-hmm.
1043
00:53:19,906 --> 00:53:23,785
Which means we have to be
so big,
1044
00:53:23,994 --> 00:53:25,162
so noisy...
1045
00:53:25,370 --> 00:53:27,372
that there's nowhere else
to look.
1046
00:53:27,581 --> 00:53:31,042
And we do it in God's name
because...
1047
00:53:32,836 --> 00:53:35,422
Because God hates haters.
1048
00:54:03,909 --> 00:54:05,785
I spotted 12 safety violations.
1049
00:54:05,994 --> 00:54:07,704
No wonder they pay so much.
1050
00:54:07,913 --> 00:54:09,331
I think I'm gonna bail.
1051
00:54:09,539 --> 00:54:11,249
I gotta stick it out.
I need the cash.
1052
00:54:11,458 --> 00:54:12,083
Mm-hmm.
1053
00:54:12,292 --> 00:54:13,084
Hey, could you grab me
a clip light?
1054
00:54:13,293 --> 00:54:14,252
Can barely see anything
I'm doing.
1055
00:54:14,461 --> 00:54:15,253
Okay.
1056
00:54:23,261 --> 00:54:24,679
Debbie!
1057
00:54:26,681 --> 00:54:27,807
Call 911!
1058
00:54:38,151 --> 00:54:39,277
Hi.
1059
00:54:42,447 --> 00:54:44,032
This fucking day, man.
1060
00:54:44,241 --> 00:54:45,742
Find Svetlana a man?
1061
00:54:45,951 --> 00:54:47,369
No, she grabbed the guy's cock.
1062
00:54:51,206 --> 00:54:53,124
Is that a good thing
or a bad thing?
1063
00:54:53,625 --> 00:54:55,710
Not taking her home to meet Mom.
1064
00:54:57,295 --> 00:54:59,130
Where you coming from?
1065
00:55:00,590 --> 00:55:01,925
Church.
1066
00:55:02,801 --> 00:55:04,302
Ian has a cult.
1067
00:55:04,761 --> 00:55:06,513
- A what?
- Yeah.
1068
00:55:06,721 --> 00:55:09,182
They think he's Gay Jesus.
1069
00:55:10,100 --> 00:55:12,018
Looking for Fiona Gallagher.
1070
00:55:12,227 --> 00:55:13,144
That's me.
1071
00:55:13,770 --> 00:55:15,188
You've been served.
1072
00:55:22,404 --> 00:55:24,072
"As a result of one or more acts
1073
00:55:24,281 --> 00:55:26,992
by defendant L. Donner
and defendant F. Gallagher,
1074
00:55:28,118 --> 00:55:30,287
plaintiff R. Latham has been
injured,
1075
00:55:30,495 --> 00:55:32,580
damaged,
and incapacitated."
1076
00:55:32,789 --> 00:55:34,582
Who the fuck is R. Latham?
1077
00:55:36,042 --> 00:55:37,252
Rodney.
1078
00:55:37,460 --> 00:55:38,670
The dude that
fell off your roof?
1079
00:55:39,170 --> 00:55:40,046
He's suing you?
1080
00:55:40,255 --> 00:55:42,716
"Plaintiff demands judgment
against defendants
1081
00:55:42,924 --> 00:55:45,135
in the sum of $6 million."
1082
00:55:47,345 --> 00:55:48,722
Motherfucker.
1083
00:55:49,264 --> 00:55:51,057
Motherfucker!
75062
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