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1
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:12,428
♪ Love me tender,
love me dear ♪
2
00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:16,099
♪ Tell me you are mine ♪
3
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,686
♪ I'll be yours ♪
4
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:23,022
♪ Through all the years ♪
5
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:26,609
♪ Till the end of time ♪
6
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:33,408
♪ When at last
my dreams come true ♪
7
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:37,161
♪ Darling, this I know ♪
8
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:44,127
♪ Happiness will follow you ♪
9
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:49,340
♪ Just before I go. ♪
10
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:50,842
(birds chirping)
11
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:58,074
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12
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,742
My name is Ted Morgan.
13
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,453
Right now I'm moments
away from death.
14
00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,998
No reason for you
to feel bad, though.
15
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,624
I mean, I don't.
16
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,432
This is actually
the first time in my life
17
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,004
that I've accomplished something
I set out to do.
18
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:32,341
And it's fitting for me
to die here in Lake Wamsutta
19
00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,844
because, to be honest,
it's probably the only place
20
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:37,096
I ever really felt alive.
21
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:40,057
I used to come here
with my dad when I was a kid,
22
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,018
but we didn't
come here to fish.
23
00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:45,062
No, we had bigger plans.
24
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,397
See that thing in the sign?
25
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:48,274
That's Wammy,
my hometown's answer
26
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,109
to the Loch Ness monster.
27
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,153
But Wammy was real.
28
00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:54,405
We had actual footage
shot by my dad,
29
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:57,200
plus eyewitness accounts
from local alcoholics.
30
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,704
My dad saw the good
in everything.
31
00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:06,083
He taught me that the world
was a safe and decent place.
32
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,960
Only it wasn't.
33
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,588
He got sick and before I knew it...
34
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,840
he was gone.
35
00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:15,426
My brother Lucky
comforted me that day
36
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,970
for the first and only time
in his life.
37
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,223
But he couldn't
take my dad's place.
38
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,559
Go! Sit!
What's wrong with you?!
39
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:26,938
Ted: In the movies,
a sympathetic teacher often steps up.
40
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:30,149
But Edwina Lawrence
never went to the movies.
41
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:33,236
I used my art to express myself
42
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,279
and I showed them.
43
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:38,699
But then they showed me.
44
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,744
- They took my best friend.
- (dog whimpers)
45
00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,206
(barks)
46
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:49,168
My mother never found a man
to replace my dad either.
47
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,587
So she fell in love
with the King...
48
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:53,673
named Shirley.
49
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:57,635
Meanwhile, I was being tortured
by the school bully,
50
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,262
Rawly Stansfield.
51
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,347
So when I was old enough,
52
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,432
I moved as far away
as I could
53
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,143
and I never thought
of Wammy again.
54
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:09,063
It was a silly thing
to believe in anyway.
55
00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:11,983
As you can tell
by where I am right now,
56
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,943
life never got much better.
57
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:17,405
So I went out west
where I just blended in.
58
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:21,284
I worked my way up
to a mid-level job
59
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:24,537
at a mid-level company...
60
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,956
and watched the years go by,
61
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:29,542
all from the safety
of a mid-level life.
62
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,711
(TV playing)
63
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,632
Hey, come on.
Let's go. Come on.
64
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,845
- Ted: And then I met Penny.
- (grunts) Here we go.
65
00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:42,513
Wow, he's really heavy.
66
00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:44,515
I'm Penny.
67
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:45,933
I'm Ted.
68
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,272
For three years,
she was everything to me.
69
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,232
Everything I wasn't.
70
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,819
(screams, laughs)
71
00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:59,113
Ted:
Penny loved life
72
00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:01,032
and I loved Penny.
73
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:03,034
Unfortunately,
so did Nate,
74
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,660
her guitar teacher.
75
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,331
(Penny moans)
76
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:14,378
Do you think this is
how I wanted it to end, Ted?
77
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,797
I thought that we could
grow together,
78
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,967
but you are stuck.
79
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,345
What am I supposed
to do without you?
80
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,597
What did you ever do
with me, Ted?
81
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,767
You have no passion
82
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:30,937
and I don't wanna
end up like you.
83
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,813
You might as well be dead.
84
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,152
Ted:
Maybe she was right.
85
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,279
Maybe I should just end it.
86
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,366
(crying)
87
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,535
Ted: After all, there was no one left
to talk me out of it.
88
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:47,828
(computer keys clicking)
89
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,581
(beeping)
90
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:53,250
(computer keys clicking)
91
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,711
Ted: Even total strangers
agreed that I was wasting air.
92
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,971
It was obvious to me.
93
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,056
It was time to punch out.
94
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,518
(barking, howling)
95
00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:19,902
Ted: But I didn't want
to go out like this guy.
96
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:24,657
My life had been
a complete failure, sure,
97
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,385
but at least I could get
my death right.
98
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:39,630
I needed to go back to Kempton
and confront my own predators.
99
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,384
Just before I go.
100
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,607
Hey, Ted!
101
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,777
Teddy!
Over here!
102
00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:07,450
You got shotgun.
103
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,620
Honey! Kids!
104
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:14,040
They're gonna freak out.
105
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,959
Hey,
everybody gather round.
106
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,753
(laughs)
107
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,171
Here.
You sit here.
108
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,298
No, no, you stay.
109
00:06:22,466 --> 00:06:25,968
Okay, okay, fam damily.
110
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,429
You all remember
your Uncle Ted?
111
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,181
He's my only brother.
112
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,432
He's gonna be
staying with us for a while.
113
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,185
- We know, Dad.
- Right...
114
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,312
but what you don't know
is why.
115
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,189
And, uh...
can I be frank here, Teddy?
116
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,858
- Preferably not.
- Your Uncle Ted's here
117
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:44,153
'cause your Aunt Penny,
who you only met, like, twice
118
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:45,529
a hundred years ago,
119
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,740
and now... warning,
I'm gonna talk to you
120
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,076
like we're adults now...
is a cunt.
121
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,081
- Okay, I'm a little sleepy.
- Now, those of you who know me
122
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,625
know that I don't
throw that word around lightly.
123
00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,835
It's an ugly word,
it's a disgusting word.
124
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:02,546
Great orifice.
Gives us babies,
125
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,632
but it's a terrible word
sometimes,
126
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,550
but your aunt is a cunt.
127
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:08,552
So I never want to hear
the word "Penny"
128
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,012
spoken ever again.
129
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,847
When you think
you want to say "Penny,"
130
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,057
you say "cunt" instead.
131
00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:16,811
What if we want to cash in
a roll of pennies at the bank?
132
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,521
- Do we say it then?
- No.
133
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,397
You look that teller in the eye
and you say
134
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,900
you would like some cash
for this roll of cunts.
135
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:25,188
You have my permission.
I'll sign a slip or something.
136
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,154
- Luck, come on.
- I'm sorry, I digress.
137
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:30,574
And even though
he's been kind of a dick
138
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:34,578
for barely calling or anything
for the past two years,
139
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,288
doesn't matter anymore...
140
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:39,673
(voice cracking)
'cause my baby brother's back.
141
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,129
(Lucky grunts)
142
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,551
Okay, I'm getting
a little emotional here.
143
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:51,387
And you all know
I break things when I cry,
144
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:55,015
so I'm gonna let
little brother Ted speak.
145
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,892
Uh...
146
00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:59,895
Hi.
147
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,772
I know it's been a long time
since I've been back here
148
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:05,192
and just want to thank you guys
for letting me stay with you
149
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,988
during this...
transition period.
150
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,824
- My breakup with your Aunt Penny...
- Cunt.
151
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,703
Aunt... Cunt...
152
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:18,581
has been difficult.
153
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:21,083
It's nice to have family
to turn to.
154
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:24,545
Well, Teddy, we're really happy
that you're here staying with us.
155
00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:27,756
Honey, enough speeches.
Give the man a break.
156
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,800
He just flew 3,000 miles.
157
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,408
- Let's get this man some food.
- Ow!
158
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,929
- (clears throat)
- Oh, God.
159
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:36,849
All right, here we go.
160
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,934
Bathroom's in there.
161
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,150
Ted: Your dad said
you drew these.
162
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:47,902
You're talented.
163
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:50,487
(scoffs)
Well, they're shit,
164
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:51,906
but thanks.
165
00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:56,410
What's with the deadbolt?
166
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,330
You're gonna want
to use that.
167
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:03,042
Dad will tell you.
168
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,002
- Good?
- Yeah.
169
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,227
Kathleen?
170
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,358
Whoa.
171
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,026
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Kathleen!
172
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,196
(laughs nervously)
173
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,530
What are you doing?
174
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,116
- (moaning)
- No, don't do that.
175
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,537
- That's a bad idea, Kathleen.
- (moaning)
176
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:44,208
It's a bad idea.
You should go back to bed, okay?
177
00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:46,627
No!
No! No!
178
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,337
(moaning)
179
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,714
My God,
it's like you're playing banjo.
180
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,424
(moaning louder)
181
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,426
Oh, jeez.
182
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,931
- Oh, shit.
- (whimpering)
183
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,183
Lucky, I was sleeping.
She just walked in, I swear.
184
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:04,687
- I don't know...
- Shh. You're gonna wake her.
185
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,147
You never wake
a sleep masturbator.
186
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,942
- What?
- I'll explain in the morning.
187
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:13,028
Didn't Zeke tell you
to deadbolt the door?
188
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:15,990
Okay, honey,
beddie-bye time.
189
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,784
- Come on.
- (Kathleen sighs)
190
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,703
Yeah, yeah.
Shh.
191
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,624
Oh, hey.
Hey, Teddy,
192
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,272
there's banana cream pie
in the fridge if you get hungry, okay?
193
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,920
I'm good.
194
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:31,797
I can't...
195
00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:44,184
Boy: Mom, I can't find
any clean pants.
196
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,103
- Look in your closet.
- Ah, shit!
197
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,314
Oh...
I'm sorry, honey.
198
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,984
- Boy: What?!
- Ugh, for the love of Pete.
199
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,827
Yeah, it's been going on
for the past few years.
200
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,580
Every time someone sleeps over,
she sleepwalks in there,
201
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:06,290
starts rubbing her button,
202
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,125
two minutes later it sounds like
a chick's hatching.
203
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:11,170
- Is she seeing a doctor?
- They gave her this Zoloft shit,
204
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,298
but she still does all the same
crazy sleep stuff.
205
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,675
Wow.
206
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,886
You should see the things she does
to me when she's sleeping.
207
00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:22,056
She punches me,
slaps me, kicks me.
208
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,641
She took a shit on my pillow
right next to my head.
209
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:29,355
I'm talking this giant rosebud,
like, inches from my eyebrows.
210
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:33,609
I'd kill to wake up and find her
knuckle-deep in her own pussy.
211
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,986
Jeez.
212
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,738
I'm sorry, Luck.
213
00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:39,198
Well, fuck it.
214
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,116
Gonna see Mom today?
215
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,701
The Monte Carlo's
at your disposal.
216
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,912
I got something I gotta do first.
217
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,747
Dude, you gotta see Mom.
218
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:49,458
Of course, yeah, I will.
I just...
219
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,335
gotta do this thing first.
220
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,310
Good morning,
221
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:11,188
I'm looking for one
of your old people.
222
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:14,316
- Edwina Lawrence.
- Friend or family?
223
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,818
Actually, I'm one of her
former students.
224
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,444
She was my
seventh grade teacher.
225
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:21,156
Oh, and you've come back
after all these years to visit.
226
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:24,701
- How sweet.
- Yeah.
227
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:29,665
- (coughing)
- 42, 43... ha-ha, oh, Shirley.
228
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:32,501
- (whistling) Hello.
- Ah, fuck you.
229
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,503
(woman passes gas)
Okay.
230
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,839
(woman #2 coughing)
231
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:39,883
- (meows)
- Hmm.
232
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,052
(man coughing)
233
00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:48,058
(TV playing)
234
00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:49,685
Mrs. Lawrence?
235
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,564
Mrs. Lawrence, it's Teddy.
236
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,774
Ted Morgan.
237
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,192
From the seventh grade?
238
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,069
Are you stupid?!
239
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,572
How many times
do I have to say it?
240
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,490
The numerator
goes into the denominator.
241
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:06,118
Four.
Four times!
242
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,578
Take your seat.
243
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:10,873
Go! Sit!
What's wrong with you?!
244
00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:15,002
I think some children
in this class know math, right?
245
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,670
You were pretty mean to me.
246
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:19,756
Actually, you were more
than just mean, you were cruel.
247
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,801
Probably the cruelest person
I've ever met.
248
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,387
I was popular
before seventh grade.
249
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,890
I had friends.
250
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,225
You made me a joke.
251
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:33,604
You picked on me every day.
Why?
252
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,481
I never did anything to you.
253
00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:38,442
(turns off TV)
254
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:41,278
I was polite.
I was an A student.
255
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,864
Jesus,
my father had just died!
256
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:47,075
Why were you such a miserable
cocksucking bitch?!
257
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,244
They took my dog Pepper
because of you.
258
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:51,747
He was my best friend.
They took him away because of you.
259
00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:54,708
I never saw him again.
260
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:57,044
I flew 3,000 miles
to tell you how you set my life
261
00:13:57,212 --> 00:14:00,005
on the path to ruin
and this is funny to you?
262
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,549
Well, fuck you!
263
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:05,844
Fuck you, you dried-up,
withered, douchebag.
264
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,805
Fuck you and the giant tarantula
you rode in on!
265
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,682
You old clam!
266
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,476
What the fuck are you
smiling about?!
267
00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,102
Ow! Jesus!
268
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,938
- What are you doing?
- What am I doing?
269
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:18,106
What are you doing
calling my grandmother
270
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,942
a withered old clam?
Help!
271
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,527
Wait, wait, I can explain.
Ow!
272
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,071
- Rape!
- Rape? Seriously?
273
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,073
This is Massachusetts,
people still come running for rape.
274
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:27,491
- (cat meows)
- (gasps)
275
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:29,618
Shh, don't move.
276
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,245
- (meows)
- Ted: What, the cat?
277
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:32,913
It's not any cat.
278
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,249
(gasps)
279
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,501
No, no, no, no,
Grandma, no.
280
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,920
Is she allergic?
You want me to get rid of it?
281
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,880
No, you can't get rid of Death Kitty.
If he comes into your room
282
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,882
and sleeps on your bed,
you die.
283
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,301
(meows)
284
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,345
(sighs)
285
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:49,805
Oh, thank God.
286
00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,224
Thank God.
287
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,644
Who are you?
288
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:57,813
You're serious?
You came back here
289
00:14:57,981 --> 00:14:59,690
to yell at my grandma,
fight a bully,
290
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,775
and then kill yourself?
291
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,986
Uh, isn't that a little fucked up?
292
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,113
I think that any plan
that ends with suicide
293
00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:08,407
is probably
a little fucked up, yeah.
294
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:11,451
No kids?
295
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:12,953
Nope.
296
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:15,441
Is this like a cry for help?
Am I supposed to tell someone?
297
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:19,668
- No, please don't.
- So I'm just supposed to walk away
298
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,838
and let you... kill yourself?
299
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,881
I'm sorry.
300
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,301
I'm an idiot, but, yes,
I was hoping so.
301
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:34,600
Hey,
I know you don't think so,
302
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,268
but someone is gonna care
303
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,353
and they're gonna be
really pissed off
304
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,856
and they most likely
won't ever forgive you.
305
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,195
♪ There's a time,
there was a point in time ♪
306
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,781
♪ When we just stopped listening ♪
307
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,534
♪ There's a ghost
and it haunts this town, yeah ♪
308
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,411
- ♪ It haunts it up and down... ♪
- (siren chirping)
309
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,706
♪ You're a mess,
you're a fucking mess ♪
310
00:15:57,874 --> 00:16:00,042
♪ If you don't know that by now... ♪
311
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,336
- Teddy! Oh, my God!
- Hey, Mom.
312
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:05,047
- Oh...
- Good to see you.
313
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:08,800
Oh, honey.
What a surprise.
314
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:12,054
Oh, I'm so happy to see you!
315
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:15,265
Oh, Margaret Margolis.
316
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,100
10% kidney function.
317
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:18,935
No feet.
318
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,229
♪ I don't want you to ask ♪
319
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,564
- ♪ How I am... ♪
- Hi, baby!
320
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,191
- Hey.
- Let me look at you.
321
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:27,736
♪ I just wanted you
to tell me it's okay... ♪
322
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:31,823
- God. That's a sandwich.
- (laughs) Ooh.
323
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,409
I can't tell you how good it is
324
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:36,578
to see my baby boy again.
325
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,080
- Thanks, Mom.
- Ooh.
326
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,625
Let the boy breathe, Nance.
You're practically motorboatin' him.
327
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,251
- Oh...
- (laughs)
328
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:46,463
- It's good to see you, too, Mom.
- How are things?
329
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,090
- (gasps)
- Shirley,
330
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,509
do you have to do that
in the kitchen?
331
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,219
Sorry, baby.
Sorry.
332
00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:53,667
So, Shirley,
how are you feeling?
333
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,972
Good, Ted.
Can't complain.
334
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,182
(imitates Elvis Presley)
Thank you very much, baby.
335
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,351
- (Ted chuckles)
- Shirley's making a comeback.
336
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,396
- Really?
- Yeah, look at this.
337
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:07,442
Wow.
338
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:08,902
The Marshfield chili cook-off.
339
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:10,529
Opening for Sha Na Na.
340
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,322
You're gonna come, right?
341
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,743
- Yeah.
- Oh, good.
342
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,578
Mom, do you remember
Vickie Serrone?
343
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,455
Oh, yeah, very nice girl.
344
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:23,458
She works checkout
at Shaw's Supermarket.
345
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:24,751
Wow.
346
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,002
She's worked there
since high school.
347
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,922
- Shelves, too.
- (Shirley laughs)
348
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,757
This girl knows
where everything is.
349
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:32,718
Every aisle, every item.
350
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,220
You just try to stump her.
351
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,806
Two weeks ago
I went in there and I said, uh,
352
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:39,558
"I'd like some capers."
353
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,477
You know what she did?
She said, "Aisle seven, bottom shelf."
354
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:45,939
- Amazing.
- I don't even know what a caper is.
355
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:49,693
- Ouch!
- Shirley!
356
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,322
Hey, big mama.
357
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:57,909
- Where's my coffee?
- Almost ready, puddin'.
358
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,397
You could've given me
a little heads up on Elvis' comeback.
359
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:03,665
More like "Love Me Tenderloin."
Woman is packing on the poundage.
360
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:07,127
Went to a pancake breakfast
with her last month...
361
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:08,754
there was more batter
spread that day
362
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,923
than on the inside
of a Boy Scout's sleeping bag.
363
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,717
(both laugh)
364
00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:17,596
- (giggling)
- What do you got back there?
365
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,390
- A case of marshmallows?
- Oh. (laughs)
366
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:25,145
Mmm.
That is good.
367
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:27,606
Oh, you put your
secret ingredient in there.
368
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,815
Tell him what
your secret ingredient is.
369
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:30,901
Love.
370
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:33,820
Love.
371
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,206
Ted on video:
You're so beautiful.
372
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,878
Teddy, I'm trying to take a nap.
373
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,546
- (Ted laughs)
- Get out of here.
374
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:54,299
Ted, I'm trying to sleep.
375
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,343
(both laugh on video)
376
00:18:56,511 --> 00:18:57,886
Penny on video:
Get over here.
377
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:15,320
What are you doing here?
378
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:19,241
I've decided that I'm gonna document
this suicide thing of yours.
379
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:21,785
Jesus,
would you keep it down?
380
00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,453
And, no, absolutely not.
381
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:24,788
Why?
382
00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:27,541
Look, I'm sorry
about your grandmother, okay?
383
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:30,544
I'm sorry I told you
what I told you, but no way.
384
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:31,920
Ted, think about it.
385
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,714
When the end comes
and you have to write that note,
386
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:37,384
I mean, the note,
explaining all this,
387
00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:40,762
you won't have to
because I will have edited together
388
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,765
a snappy little 30-minute presentation
that will explain it all.
389
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,976
- Why are you doing this?
- To help.
390
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,769
Also, this is kind of my field.
391
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:50,313
- You do documentaries?
- No, I work at Town Hall
392
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:52,274
and I record
all of the town meetings,
393
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:55,694
so, yeah, kind of a documentarian,
record keeper.
394
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,279
- Greta, right?
- Yeah.
395
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,197
It was nice meeting you.
Goodbye.
396
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:03,994
I'll tell.
397
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,539
I'll tell your brother
what you're gonna do.
398
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,541
I don't want to.
399
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,002
I would much rather document
your impending death,
400
00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:13,753
but... it's your call.
401
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:19,342
Yes!
402
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,386
So let's rehash.
403
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:25,807
So far you've screamed
at a 90-year-old lady
404
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:27,976
and called her
a "cocksucking bitch,"
405
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:29,504
and now you're going to fist-fight
406
00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:31,771
someone you haven't seen
in 22 years?
407
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:34,220
You've got to admit
that's a pretty fucked-up bucket list.
408
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:36,401
You ever heard of
"getting your house in order"?
409
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,778
That's what I'm gonna do.
I'm getting my house in order.
410
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,448
Yeah, but why do
you have to kill yourself?
411
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:44,242
Why not just right your wrongs
and then keep on going?
412
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:47,037
Because...
413
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,997
it's what we cowards do.
414
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:04,012
So you're just gonna
walk up to this guy and say,
415
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,848
"Hey, remember me?
You used to pick me up by the nipples
416
00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:10,393
during gym class 20 years ago."
And then, wham?
417
00:21:10,561 --> 00:21:12,020
Pretty much.
418
00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:15,106
Hey, Ted, get up.
419
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,526
I'm hungry.
Let's go, get out of here.
420
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:24,574
Excuse me.
Uh, you wouldn't happen to have
421
00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:27,369
- any spare change, would you?
- Buzz off, loser.
422
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,245
(girls snickering, laughing)
423
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,706
- I have some change, Ted.
- Girl: So gross.
424
00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:33,249
Girl #2: Don't give him
any money, Vickie.
425
00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:34,751
He's just gonna give it
to Rawly Stansfield
426
00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:37,420
'cause he's too big a pussy
to stand up to him.
427
00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:39,923
(girl #2 laughs)
428
00:21:40,091 --> 00:21:41,299
Thanks.
429
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:43,927
Thank you.
(grunts)
430
00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:45,720
Sorry about that.
Come on.
431
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:50,392
Gross, dude,
it's fucking wet.
432
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,602
Tomorrow I want dry money.
All right?
433
00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:54,562
Yeah.
434
00:21:56,691 --> 00:22:00,026
- Hi, is Rawly Stansfield here?
- Yeah, he's right there.
435
00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:02,570
(grunts)
436
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:04,739
Please don't be Rawly.
Please don't be Rawly.
437
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:06,700
- Please don't be Rawly.
- I'm Rawly.
438
00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:09,369
- Oh, shit.
- Rawly: Be with you in a second.
439
00:22:11,122 --> 00:22:12,872
(grunts)
440
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:17,002
Okay, let's go.
441
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:18,628
No.
442
00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:21,464
Ted, I know that your list
is very important to you,
443
00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:23,832
but unless you've decided
to add having someone feed you
444
00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:25,760
your own legs,
I suggest we go.
445
00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:28,138
It's not a list.
It's just a few things.
446
00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:30,432
Besides, I'm armed.
447
00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:32,100
It's my brother's blackjack.
448
00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:34,310
It's filled with powdered lead,
you just...
449
00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:35,770
one blow
to the side of the head,
450
00:22:35,938 --> 00:22:38,356
he'll go down
like a ton of fertilizer.
451
00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:40,692
Ted, the man
just walked out of here
452
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,777
with 200 pounds of hay
on his shoulders
453
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:44,279
like it was a fucking parasol.
454
00:22:44,447 --> 00:22:47,073
I suggest you key his pick-up
and call it even.
455
00:22:47,241 --> 00:22:48,366
No.
456
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:53,455
Jesus, it's like "Jurassic Park"
when he walks.
457
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,373
You looking for me?
458
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:56,958
Yeah.
459
00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:01,796
(sighs)
You don't remember me, do ya?
460
00:23:01,964 --> 00:23:03,590
No.
461
00:23:03,758 --> 00:23:05,592
I'm Ted.
462
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,177
Ted Morgan.
463
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:09,429
We went to school together.
464
00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:11,514
Teddy?!
(laughs)
465
00:23:11,682 --> 00:23:13,975
Teddy Morgan,
holy shit, man!
466
00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:17,145
Good to see you!
(laughs)
467
00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:19,147
What's going on?!
468
00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:21,316
What's it been?
Like 20 years or something?
469
00:23:21,484 --> 00:23:24,027
- (groans)
- Ted, man...
470
00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:26,488
I was such a dick.
471
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:29,324
A huge di...
I mean like the biggest dick.
472
00:23:29,492 --> 00:23:32,077
Mother of all dicks,
for sure.
473
00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:36,206
(sighs) I think about it
all the time, too, you know?
474
00:23:36,373 --> 00:23:37,999
My dickness.
475
00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:40,835
I'm a totally different person,
you gotta believe me on this.
476
00:23:41,003 --> 00:23:42,962
I mean I...
I'm not such a dick anymore.
477
00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:46,132
I'm a pretty happy dude, actually.
You know?
478
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:48,760
Well, for what it's worth, I...
479
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:51,805
I really appreciate you
acknowledging your dickness.
480
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:54,766
You bet.
You deserve it, man.
481
00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:57,310
It all changed for me
when I met my wife.
482
00:23:57,478 --> 00:23:59,771
Uh... late wife.
483
00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:02,315
- Aw, sorry.
- Yeah.
484
00:24:02,483 --> 00:24:04,692
You remember her, Teddy?
Kathy Sorenson.
485
00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:06,528
Little bitty thing.
486
00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:08,135
She was president
of the French Club.
487
00:24:08,155 --> 00:24:09,405
- Ah.
- Remember she had a dead tooth,
488
00:24:09,573 --> 00:24:11,574
like, until eighth grade?
Kind of a bubble butt.
489
00:24:11,742 --> 00:24:13,326
- Yeah, sounds familiar.
- Yeah.
490
00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:15,120
How'd she pass?
491
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:18,540
Uh, it was a...
it was an aneurism, actually.
492
00:24:20,376 --> 00:24:22,252
We have a son.
Henry.
493
00:24:22,419 --> 00:24:24,129
- All right.
- Yeah, he's just about the sweetest kid
494
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:25,463
you'd ever want to meet
in your whole life.
495
00:24:25,631 --> 00:24:27,215
- Man: Rawly!
- Sir.
496
00:24:27,383 --> 00:24:29,050
You know where I caught
this little guy?
497
00:24:29,218 --> 00:24:31,970
Throwing rabbit pellets
everywhere.
498
00:24:32,138 --> 00:24:34,305
I told you,
this ain't no goddamn day care.
499
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:35,807
- Sorry, Dad.
- Sorry?!
500
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:39,644
It's hard to tell
who the dummy is at times.
501
00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:41,479
(sighs)
502
00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:45,066
Hey, Henry,
how you doing?
503
00:24:45,234 --> 00:24:46,568
Come sit here with me.
504
00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:48,820
Want you to say hi to my friend.
Say "hi" to Ted.
505
00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:51,698
Hi, Ted.
(laughs)
506
00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:53,146
- That means he likes you.
- Hey.
507
00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:56,035
- This is Greta, his friend.
- Hottie. (laughs)
508
00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:04,961
- (clinks)
- (door closes)
509
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:08,756
Hey, baby bro.
You hungry?
510
00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:10,466
Kathleen really outdid
herself tonight.
511
00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,302
Meat loaf.
512
00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:13,720
I almost gave myself
a speeding ticket
513
00:25:13,888 --> 00:25:15,180
'cause I couldn't wait
to get home and dig in.
514
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:17,140
Thanks.
I'm kind of tired.
515
00:25:17,308 --> 00:25:18,975
Lucky:
Oh, come on.
516
00:25:19,143 --> 00:25:20,935
It only tastes a little bit
like dog food.
517
00:25:21,103 --> 00:25:24,731
- (growls)
- (laughs)
518
00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:32,447
(squeaking)
519
00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:36,284
(clinks)
520
00:25:36,452 --> 00:25:37,869
(squeaking)
521
00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:41,706
(clinks)
522
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:06,981
(groans)
Kathleen.
523
00:26:08,692 --> 00:26:09,901
- Oh, no.
- (moans)
524
00:26:10,069 --> 00:26:11,444
Come on!
525
00:26:11,612 --> 00:26:12,946
(moaning)
526
00:26:13,113 --> 00:26:15,156
(groans)
You know what? Just speed it up.
527
00:26:15,324 --> 00:26:16,824
Speed it up.
528
00:26:18,369 --> 00:26:19,702
(moans)
529
00:26:19,870 --> 00:26:21,037
How come you never
hear her get out of bed?
530
00:26:21,205 --> 00:26:23,998
Shut up.
How come you don't deadbolt the door?
531
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:26,542
- Ted: I did!
- (contented sigh)
532
00:26:32,675 --> 00:26:34,384
(door closes)
533
00:26:36,845 --> 00:26:39,138
Hey, guys,
find a cunt, pick it up,
534
00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:41,182
all day long
you've got good luck.
535
00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:43,226
(laughing)
536
00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:49,274
I'm having to rethink
this whole Penny/cunt thing.
537
00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:52,026
Ted, school starts
in 15 minutes.
538
00:26:52,194 --> 00:26:54,988
I'll meet you in the car.
All right?
539
00:26:55,155 --> 00:26:56,948
(school bell rings)
540
00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:59,534
Romeo, Romeo,
wherefore art thou Romeo?
541
00:26:59,702 --> 00:27:02,203
Whether 'tis nobler to suck dick.
542
00:27:02,371 --> 00:27:04,497
Will you fu...
leave him the fuck alone.
543
00:27:04,665 --> 00:27:07,375
What? What do you got against
having a little fun, dude?
544
00:27:07,543 --> 00:27:10,295
So, Romeo, what is it?
Are you a top or a bottom?
545
00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:13,172
(laughs)
What, you don't remember, Pete?
546
00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:17,093
That afternoon under the bleachers
must have meant nothing to you, huh?
547
00:27:17,261 --> 00:27:19,804
(boys laughing)
548
00:27:19,972 --> 00:27:21,806
- Fuck you.
- Stop! Stop.
549
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:23,558
Relax.
Will you get the fuck outta here?
550
00:27:23,726 --> 00:27:26,686
Stop.
Come on, man.
551
00:27:26,854 --> 00:27:28,229
(car horn honks)
552
00:27:28,397 --> 00:27:29,605
Hey,
553
00:27:29,773 --> 00:27:32,817
you were supposed
to pick me up this morning.
554
00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:35,737
Hello,
I am talking to you.
555
00:27:35,904 --> 00:27:38,197
I'm trying to film
a suicide note here.
556
00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:39,991
Can you stop
and help a girl out, please?
557
00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:41,479
You know why
I didn't pick you up?
558
00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:43,202
Because this is none
of your business, that's why.
559
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:45,288
Oh, oh, okay.
560
00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:48,082
Fine.
561
00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:52,378
Yeah, hi, is this
the police department?
562
00:27:52,546 --> 00:27:55,048
I need to speak with
the chief of police right away.
563
00:27:55,215 --> 00:27:58,384
It's an emergency.
It involves a family member.
564
00:27:58,552 --> 00:28:01,095
- Yeah, I can hold.
- You're full of shit.
565
00:28:01,263 --> 00:28:03,222
- Oh, really?
- (music playing on speakerphone)
566
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:05,183
Do you hear that?
That's Scandal.
567
00:28:05,351 --> 00:28:07,602
That's the official hold music
for the Kempton police department.
568
00:28:07,770 --> 00:28:10,688
It's really too bad, too,
because I have this way
569
00:28:10,856 --> 00:28:13,274
of helping you cross a thing
off your list.
570
00:28:14,902 --> 00:28:17,737
♪ Shootin' at the walls
of heartache ♪
571
00:28:17,905 --> 00:28:19,280
♪ Bang, bang ♪
572
00:28:19,448 --> 00:28:21,824
♪ I am the warrior... ♪
573
00:28:23,577 --> 00:28:26,287
♪ Well, I am the warrior... ♪
574
00:28:26,455 --> 00:28:29,457
- Why aren't you buying anything?
- 'Cause I don't want anything.
575
00:28:29,625 --> 00:28:31,705
I heard an old friend works here.
Thought I'd say hi.
576
00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,253
Hmm, okay.
Well, fine by me.
577
00:28:34,421 --> 00:28:36,506
I needed a box
of emergency plugs anyway.
578
00:28:36,673 --> 00:28:38,758
I'm more at the tail end
of my period,
579
00:28:38,926 --> 00:28:42,261
so it's kind of a precaution,
but, you know, good to have.
580
00:28:42,429 --> 00:28:44,847
If it's okay with you,
maybe we could keep a little mystery
581
00:28:45,015 --> 00:28:46,349
with our totally not knowing
each other at all?
582
00:28:46,517 --> 00:28:49,685
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
Did I share too much,
583
00:28:49,853 --> 00:28:52,021
Mr. I'm Gonna Kill Myself?
584
00:28:52,189 --> 00:28:54,399
Ted Morgan?
585
00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:55,858
Vickie Serrone?
586
00:28:56,026 --> 00:28:57,819
I have some change, Ted.
587
00:29:01,698 --> 00:29:02,824
Thanks.
588
00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:09,872
- Wow.
- Vickie: Where have you been?
589
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,333
I haven't seen you in years.
590
00:29:12,501 --> 00:29:14,877
I've been living
out in Los Angeles.
591
00:29:15,045 --> 00:29:16,629
You visiting
your mom and Lucky?
592
00:29:16,797 --> 00:29:18,756
Uh, yeah.
593
00:29:18,924 --> 00:29:20,800
Yeah, it's been
a long time, so...
594
00:29:20,968 --> 00:29:22,969
Anyways,
what have you been up to?
595
00:29:23,137 --> 00:29:25,221
- You look great.
- (scoffs)
596
00:29:25,389 --> 00:29:27,056
Ted, it's okay,
I've seen my reflection.
597
00:29:27,224 --> 00:29:29,976
My feet, no,
but my reflection...
598
00:29:30,144 --> 00:29:32,186
- Are you married?
- (laughs)
599
00:29:32,354 --> 00:29:35,231
I sure as hell wouldn't let myself
get like this if I wasn't.
600
00:29:35,399 --> 00:29:37,442
I'm Vickie Dansik now.
601
00:29:37,609 --> 00:29:40,611
- Five kids.
- Five?! Wow.
602
00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,405
Is this your wife?
603
00:29:42,573 --> 00:29:45,491
Um... no, no.
She's, um...
604
00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:50,413
Greta.
I'm a... friend of the family.
605
00:29:50,581 --> 00:29:53,458
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
606
00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:55,825
I'd love to catch up.
Maybe we could go out for a drink.
607
00:29:55,961 --> 00:29:58,504
- Sure.
- Great.
608
00:29:58,672 --> 00:30:00,214
Let me get your number.
609
00:30:02,718 --> 00:30:05,803
I'm sorry.
What was that all about?
610
00:30:05,971 --> 00:30:08,514
She was one of the few people
who was ever kind to me.
611
00:30:08,682 --> 00:30:10,183
Is that enough info?
612
00:30:10,350 --> 00:30:12,393
Yeah, but what do you
have to catch up on?
613
00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:13,936
I mean,
you're gonna kill yourself.
614
00:30:14,104 --> 00:30:17,106
What, are you trying to drum up
attendance at your funeral?
615
00:30:17,274 --> 00:30:21,068
Holy shit, she's like
a part of your list, isn't she?
616
00:30:21,236 --> 00:30:22,904
I mean,
I don't know what part,
617
00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:25,448
- but am I right?
- So what if she is?
618
00:30:25,616 --> 00:30:29,202
- Look, are we done today?
- You are one sick fuck.
619
00:30:29,369 --> 00:30:30,620
I'm glad you're amused.
620
00:30:30,787 --> 00:30:33,789
Oh, hey, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, really.
621
00:30:33,957 --> 00:30:35,791
Look, you can go,
you can do your thing,
622
00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:37,460
but we have to do
one thing first.
623
00:30:37,628 --> 00:30:40,046
Trust me, this is a stop
you're gonna want to make.
624
00:30:41,632 --> 00:30:43,799
Okay, so, they give her
her meds at 10:00.
625
00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:46,093
It's 11:00 now.
This is when she's most coherent.
626
00:30:46,261 --> 00:30:48,262
So the rules are,
you can tell her
627
00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:50,264
what your beef is... period.
628
00:30:50,432 --> 00:30:52,892
You can say you hate her
or whatever else you want,
629
00:30:53,060 --> 00:30:55,436
but no shouting,
no swearing,
630
00:30:55,604 --> 00:30:57,271
no obscene gestures,
got it?
631
00:30:57,439 --> 00:31:00,279
- Can I flick her in the forehead?
- No! You can shake the bed a little.
632
00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:01,943
(meows)
633
00:31:08,534 --> 00:31:09,867
(Greta sighs)
634
00:31:14,039 --> 00:31:16,374
Greta:
My dad left when I was three.
635
00:31:16,542 --> 00:31:18,793
I remember that
they were fighting.
636
00:31:18,961 --> 00:31:22,129
I was sweeping.
637
00:31:22,297 --> 00:31:24,966
I started hitting him
in the foot with the broom.
638
00:31:26,843 --> 00:31:30,263
Then I was yelling,
"Stop, stop."
639
00:31:30,430 --> 00:31:33,641
And then the next time
I saw him was...
640
00:31:33,809 --> 00:31:35,726
right after my mom died.
641
00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:39,981
I thought that he was coming
to take me with him...
642
00:31:40,148 --> 00:31:42,483
'cause he brought me
this big bag of candy.
643
00:31:42,651 --> 00:31:45,570
Like bigger than my head
and a dress.
644
00:31:47,364 --> 00:31:50,491
And then that night
he and Nana got in a really big fight
645
00:31:50,659 --> 00:31:52,827
and...
646
00:31:52,995 --> 00:31:54,745
the next day he was gone.
647
00:31:56,665 --> 00:31:59,667
And the next time
that I saw him was, um...
648
00:32:01,169 --> 00:32:04,755
two years later
at his funeral.
649
00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:08,634
I'm sorry.
650
00:32:08,802 --> 00:32:10,362
I know how hard it was
to lose a parent.
651
00:32:10,512 --> 00:32:12,221
I can't imagine losing both.
652
00:32:12,389 --> 00:32:15,808
You know, it wasn't losing
the actual them that was so hard
653
00:32:15,976 --> 00:32:19,312
'cause they weren't really there
to begin with, but...
654
00:32:19,479 --> 00:32:21,397
it was the idea...
655
00:32:23,859 --> 00:32:25,860
of them that was crippling.
656
00:32:31,825 --> 00:32:34,577
- Can I ask you something?
- Sure.
657
00:32:34,745 --> 00:32:36,495
Are you good
at climbing trees?
658
00:32:36,663 --> 00:32:38,789
What?
659
00:32:40,709 --> 00:32:43,628
- Ted: Oh, shit, this is high.
- (chuckles)
660
00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:46,547
Relax, worst-case scenario,
you slip and die.
661
00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:47,882
Mission accomplished.
662
00:32:51,094 --> 00:32:52,803
What's that for?
663
00:32:52,971 --> 00:32:54,305
Carve your initials.
664
00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:56,182
See?
665
00:32:56,350 --> 00:32:58,309
Susan plus Greta.
666
00:32:58,477 --> 00:33:00,770
That's me and my mom.
667
00:33:00,937 --> 00:33:03,522
We came up here,
like, the week before she died.
668
00:33:03,690 --> 00:33:06,734
Your mom climbed a tree
a week before she died of cancer?
669
00:33:08,028 --> 00:33:10,488
Where there's a will,
you know?
670
00:33:10,656 --> 00:33:13,074
Anyway... carve.
671
00:33:14,910 --> 00:33:16,952
You have to
leave something behind.
672
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,955
Some proof that...
that you were here.
673
00:33:20,123 --> 00:33:22,458
Who knows,
a hundred years from now,
674
00:33:22,626 --> 00:33:26,629
two people who we'll never know
could be sitting in this same tree
675
00:33:26,797 --> 00:33:28,339
looking at our initials.
676
00:33:28,507 --> 00:33:30,341
And that's important why?
677
00:33:30,509 --> 00:33:33,594
Because then it's like
we're still here.
678
00:33:33,762 --> 00:33:36,305
♪ There's a sweeter something ♪
679
00:33:36,473 --> 00:33:41,977
♪ And I will hold it
in my heart... ♪
680
00:33:43,271 --> 00:33:44,897
So, what are you up to now?
681
00:33:45,065 --> 00:33:47,608
I'm meeting Rawly
for beers tonight.
682
00:33:48,944 --> 00:33:50,945
Can you believe I've gone
from wanting to beat him senseless
683
00:33:51,113 --> 00:33:52,530
to letting him buy me a beer?
684
00:33:52,698 --> 00:33:55,074
No one said the path to killing yourself
was gonna be easy.
685
00:33:55,242 --> 00:33:57,118
(chuckles)
686
00:33:57,285 --> 00:33:58,828
Thanks for being
my death muse.
687
00:34:06,628 --> 00:34:11,340
♪ Oh, the joy of nothing... ♪
688
00:34:11,508 --> 00:34:15,594
- Hey, Greta.
- ♪ Is a sweeter something ♪
689
00:34:15,762 --> 00:34:19,515
- I'm sorry about your grandmother.
- ♪ And I will hold it in my heart... ♪
690
00:34:19,683 --> 00:34:22,893
Try not to do anything
too interesting tonight, okay?
691
00:34:29,192 --> 00:34:31,444
Oh, shit, I gotta tell you
about this fucking...
692
00:34:31,611 --> 00:34:34,655
crazy dream I had last night.
693
00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:37,366
Me and you went to this
real fancy restaurant
694
00:34:37,534 --> 00:34:40,244
and the waiter came up
and it was your father.
695
00:34:40,412 --> 00:34:42,997
And he was, like,
telling us we had to leave,
696
00:34:43,165 --> 00:34:45,332
that they wouldn't serve us.
697
00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:47,668
So I got mad, right?
I was like, "That's bullshit."
698
00:34:47,836 --> 00:34:49,670
And I looked to you
and I'm like,
699
00:34:49,838 --> 00:34:52,006
"Tell him how fucked up
this shit is." Right?
700
00:34:54,843 --> 00:34:57,845
And when I look at you,
you're standing right behind him.
701
00:34:58,013 --> 00:35:00,473
You're a waiter, too,
and you're telling me to leave.
702
00:35:03,059 --> 00:35:04,393
I couldn't believe it.
703
00:35:07,773 --> 00:35:10,107
Well, in my defense,
it's not because you're gay.
704
00:35:11,568 --> 00:35:14,195
It's because we just...
we just...
705
00:35:14,362 --> 00:35:15,696
we just don't serve niggers.
706
00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:17,782
(laughs)
707
00:35:17,949 --> 00:35:20,785
I knew you didn't like black people.
You are so racist.
708
00:35:22,412 --> 00:35:24,330
You're not all black.
709
00:35:24,498 --> 00:35:26,373
- That's true.
- (laughs)
710
00:35:28,376 --> 00:35:30,294
Come on.
711
00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:32,880
♪ I'm an open heart ♪
712
00:35:33,048 --> 00:35:35,633
♪ It feels like we've come so far... ♪
713
00:35:35,801 --> 00:35:38,427
Just promise me
you'll talk to somebody.
714
00:35:40,806 --> 00:35:42,014
Anybody.
715
00:35:42,182 --> 00:35:44,433
- ♪ Show me your open heart... ♪
- Okay.
716
00:35:44,601 --> 00:35:47,436
♪ Till we fall in the love
that we started ♪
717
00:35:47,604 --> 00:35:50,105
♪ Show me your open heart ♪
718
00:35:50,273 --> 00:35:53,734
♪ Oh. ♪
719
00:35:53,902 --> 00:35:56,278
(train horn blows in distance)
720
00:35:56,446 --> 00:35:58,072
Rawly: They just couldn't stop
the bleeding, you know?
721
00:35:58,240 --> 00:35:59,949
I'm sitting there thinking...
722
00:36:01,284 --> 00:36:03,702
"It was a sneeze.
723
00:36:03,870 --> 00:36:06,288
It was a fucking sneeze."
724
00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:08,916
Something inside her head
just blew.
725
00:36:10,919 --> 00:36:12,586
Just like that,
she was gone, you know?
726
00:36:12,754 --> 00:36:14,505
I don't know, fuck.
727
00:36:14,673 --> 00:36:17,216
(burps)
And then I had to go home.
728
00:36:17,384 --> 00:36:19,510
I had to tell Henry.
729
00:36:19,678 --> 00:36:22,221
And he's like, you know...
(groans)
730
00:36:22,389 --> 00:36:25,266
He's like, "Where's Mama?
Where's Mama? Where's my mama?"
731
00:36:27,227 --> 00:36:29,937
That's the saddest sneeze story
I've ever heard.
732
00:36:31,606 --> 00:36:32,690
How's your dad been
through all this?
733
00:36:32,858 --> 00:36:36,443
He's the biggest fucking asshole
to ever slip an arm through a sleeve.
734
00:36:38,655 --> 00:36:40,656
He wouldn't close the store
735
00:36:40,824 --> 00:36:42,783
the day of her funeral.
736
00:36:42,951 --> 00:36:44,994
Jeez.
737
00:36:45,161 --> 00:36:48,289
He doesn't acknowledge his grandson
because he has Down's syndrome.
738
00:36:49,624 --> 00:36:53,002
Who the fuck
could hate Henry?!
739
00:36:53,169 --> 00:36:54,670
Who?!
740
00:36:57,382 --> 00:36:59,466
Hey.
741
00:36:59,634 --> 00:37:02,303
I'm really sorry about the way
I treated you in school.
742
00:37:02,470 --> 00:37:04,263
If I were you,
743
00:37:04,431 --> 00:37:06,557
maybe a little bigger,
a little tougher,
744
00:37:06,725 --> 00:37:10,603
I'd want to kick my ass
for the shit I put you through.
745
00:37:10,770 --> 00:37:12,813
That fucking old man,
I swear to God,
746
00:37:12,981 --> 00:37:15,316
he made me his punching bag
since I could walk.
747
00:37:16,526 --> 00:37:18,235
I don't know...
748
00:37:18,403 --> 00:37:20,654
maybe I just needed
a punching bag, too.
749
00:37:20,822 --> 00:37:22,740
That doesn't make it right,
750
00:37:22,908 --> 00:37:25,117
but I am truly sorry.
751
00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:28,662
- Don't worry about it.
- (sniffles)
752
00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:31,457
All right,
I want you to take that
753
00:37:31,625 --> 00:37:33,876
and I want you to smash me
in the head with it.
754
00:37:34,044 --> 00:37:37,338
You need to hurt me
like I hurt you.
755
00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:43,315
- I don't want to do that.
- I'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight
756
00:37:43,428 --> 00:37:46,430
unless you bring the pain,
bitchpants.
757
00:37:46,598 --> 00:37:47,806
I can't!
758
00:37:47,974 --> 00:37:50,726
Do it!
Just do it!
759
00:37:50,894 --> 00:37:53,334
Do it, you fucking pussy,
or I swear to God I will make you...
760
00:37:53,355 --> 00:37:54,855
- (screams)
- (laughter)
761
00:37:55,023 --> 00:37:58,192
God! Fuck me!
Come on!
762
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:01,278
(screams)
Motherfuck-bucket!
763
00:38:01,446 --> 00:38:05,366
♪ Last train a-running
between the water ♪
764
00:38:05,533 --> 00:38:08,243
- ♪ With a power line... ♪
- (laughs) Oh, fuck, yeah!
765
00:38:08,411 --> 00:38:12,039
♪ Last train's a-running
around the hill... ♪
766
00:38:12,207 --> 00:38:14,767
- You sure you're okay to drive?
- Oh, fuck, quit asking me that.
767
00:38:14,876 --> 00:38:18,337
I only live like six miles
from this fuckhole.
768
00:38:18,505 --> 00:38:20,105
- All right.
- Dude, so great seeing you.
769
00:38:20,256 --> 00:38:21,674
- You, too, buddy.
- Oh.
770
00:38:21,841 --> 00:38:23,425
- That was fun.
- Oh, my God.
771
00:38:23,593 --> 00:38:25,469
You're a good man, Ted.
772
00:38:25,637 --> 00:38:27,513
Hey...
773
00:38:27,681 --> 00:38:30,099
hey, can I ask, uh...
can I ask you a favor?
774
00:38:30,266 --> 00:38:31,558
Yeah, sure.
775
00:38:31,726 --> 00:38:33,352
(sighs)
776
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,355
Would you help me
kill my dad?
777
00:38:36,523 --> 00:38:38,232
Why not?
778
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,359
- Yes!
- (laughs)
779
00:38:40,527 --> 00:38:41,527
- All right.
- All right.
780
00:38:41,695 --> 00:38:44,238
- I'll be in touch.
- Yeah.
781
00:38:45,865 --> 00:38:49,952
♪ You gotta be huffin' and puffin'
and chuggin' like a choo-choo train ♪
782
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,079
♪ Choo-choo ♪
783
00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:56,000
♪ A-huffin' and puffin' and chuggin'
like a choo-choo train ♪
784
00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:58,919
- ♪ Choo-choo... ♪
- I'm awake. I'm awake.
785
00:38:59,087 --> 00:39:00,963
(police siren wailing)
786
00:39:01,131 --> 00:39:02,923
♪ Choo-choo ♪
787
00:39:03,091 --> 00:39:05,509
- ♪ A-huffin' and puffin'... ♪
- Shit.
788
00:39:05,677 --> 00:39:07,970
I saw it was your
Monte Carlo, Chief,
789
00:39:08,138 --> 00:39:10,514
thought maybe you'd tied one on
and needed a lift.
790
00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:12,433
Lucky:
No, I let my kid brother use it.
791
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,040
He's kind of going through
some shit.
792
00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:16,103
Well, just so you know,
793
00:39:16,271 --> 00:39:18,188
it was twice
the legal limit, so...
794
00:39:18,356 --> 00:39:21,066
Oh, yeah?
It was twice the legal limit, huh?
795
00:39:21,234 --> 00:39:23,193
(both laugh)
796
00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,279
I could say the same thing
about your boobies.
797
00:39:25,447 --> 00:39:27,448
(scoffs, laughs)
798
00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:29,491
You should see 'em
underneath the shirt.
799
00:39:29,659 --> 00:39:31,118
(Lucky laughs)
800
00:39:31,286 --> 00:39:33,287
- See 'em out of uniform.
- I don't feel good.
801
00:39:33,455 --> 00:39:34,747
- What's the matter?
- I don't feel good.
802
00:39:34,914 --> 00:39:36,206
Yeah, well...
803
00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:38,792
hey, I'll see you
at lunch tomorrow, okay?
804
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,378
- Hey, hey.
- I'd like to see you at lunch tomorrow.
805
00:39:41,546 --> 00:39:42,963
- Yeah? That can be arranged.
- Oh.
806
00:39:47,135 --> 00:39:48,594
(groans)
807
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:52,181
Oh, God.
808
00:39:58,229 --> 00:39:59,730
(groans)
809
00:40:05,987 --> 00:40:07,362
(knocks on door)
810
00:40:15,121 --> 00:40:16,663
You wanna talk?
811
00:40:22,170 --> 00:40:24,505
Ted:
Okay.
812
00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:27,508
Look at that one.
813
00:40:27,675 --> 00:40:29,885
These are...
814
00:40:30,053 --> 00:40:32,137
- really...
- Gay?
815
00:40:32,305 --> 00:40:35,474
Yeah. Yeah, they're...
816
00:40:35,642 --> 00:40:37,351
they're really gay.
817
00:40:39,062 --> 00:40:41,021
- So you're...
- I think so.
818
00:40:43,191 --> 00:40:44,233
You think so?
819
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:46,443
(chuckles)
I mean, you know, I have a boyfriend.
820
00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:49,196
- Oh.
- Yeah, I suck his dick.
821
00:40:49,364 --> 00:40:51,406
Oh, okay.
822
00:40:51,574 --> 00:40:54,284
Yeah, you're...
you're probably gay.
823
00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:59,081
What do you want me to do?
You want me to talk to your dad?
824
00:40:59,249 --> 00:41:01,166
Or are you just gonna tell people
through cock drawings?
825
00:41:01,334 --> 00:41:02,668
(laughs)
826
00:41:04,587 --> 00:41:06,630
(sighs)
Um...
827
00:41:06,798 --> 00:41:09,049
no, my dad is...
828
00:41:10,426 --> 00:41:13,387
I think I'm just sitting with it
right now.
829
00:41:13,555 --> 00:41:14,888
You know?
830
00:41:16,558 --> 00:41:18,318
I think I just kinda needed
to tell somebody.
831
00:41:18,393 --> 00:41:19,560
Say it out loud.
832
00:41:29,571 --> 00:41:31,780
So, last month at school...
833
00:41:33,616 --> 00:41:36,410
I was walking down the corridor
with a couple buddies of mine
834
00:41:36,578 --> 00:41:38,370
after practice.
835
00:41:38,538 --> 00:41:40,914
Coming the other way
is, uh, Ralph Brooks, right?
836
00:41:41,082 --> 00:41:44,084
He's a skinny little blond kid.
He's...
837
00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:45,711
gay.
838
00:41:45,879 --> 00:41:48,338
Anyway, you know,
he's... he's walking towards us
839
00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:52,551
and... and me and him
make eye contact
840
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:54,887
and he gives me this... this...
841
00:41:55,054 --> 00:41:58,098
just like fucking
half smile thing, like...
842
00:42:00,894 --> 00:42:02,769
You know, like he knows...
843
00:42:02,937 --> 00:42:04,605
or something.
844
00:42:04,772 --> 00:42:06,899
Well, I panic.
845
00:42:07,066 --> 00:42:08,442
You know,
so when I passed by him,
846
00:42:08,610 --> 00:42:11,612
I mean, I just slammed
my shoulder into his chest.
847
00:42:13,573 --> 00:42:15,657
I mean,
I did it fucking hard.
848
00:42:17,035 --> 00:42:18,202
Wow.
849
00:42:18,369 --> 00:42:21,622
You know, he just... drops.
850
00:42:25,293 --> 00:42:27,669
He's just sitting there
and he's staring up at me.
851
00:42:31,799 --> 00:42:35,469
I've never hated anyone as much
as I hated him in that moment.
852
00:42:39,933 --> 00:42:41,600
(sighs)
853
00:42:41,768 --> 00:42:43,852
(crying)
I mean, I don't...
854
00:42:44,020 --> 00:42:46,230
I mean,
I don't wanna like guys.
855
00:42:55,365 --> 00:42:57,658
I don't want
to be hated like that.
856
00:43:01,704 --> 00:43:04,831
I don't know.
(sniffles)
857
00:43:10,838 --> 00:43:12,923
Man:
Here we go.
858
00:43:13,091 --> 00:43:14,967
Can I get you anything else?
859
00:43:15,134 --> 00:43:16,635
I think we're good.
Thanks.
860
00:43:20,181 --> 00:43:21,223
(laughs)
861
00:43:21,391 --> 00:43:24,309
(lisping)
I think somebody likes you.
862
00:43:24,477 --> 00:43:25,852
Don't be a dick.
863
00:43:26,020 --> 00:43:27,620
(normal voice)
Come on, that kid is gayer
864
00:43:27,730 --> 00:43:29,856
than a mouse shoved up
the ass of a gerbil
865
00:43:30,024 --> 00:43:32,526
shoved up the ass
of a sixth grade music teacher.
866
00:43:32,694 --> 00:43:35,696
- (laughs)
- Why are you such an asshole?
867
00:43:35,863 --> 00:43:37,906
Relax, I'm joking.
Jesus.
868
00:43:38,074 --> 00:43:39,366
You're not funny.
869
00:43:39,534 --> 00:43:41,201
He didn't hear me.
870
00:43:42,537 --> 00:43:44,246
I'll tell you what.
I'll tickle his bag on the way out.
871
00:43:44,414 --> 00:43:46,873
Make nice, okay?
872
00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:49,751
- Idiot.
- And people think I'm funny.
873
00:43:49,919 --> 00:43:51,461
Yeah, your wife
thinks you're a riot.
874
00:43:51,629 --> 00:43:52,796
What's that
supposed to mean?
875
00:43:54,507 --> 00:43:56,758
Fuck you. That woman
worships the ground I walk on.
876
00:43:56,926 --> 00:43:59,177
Why is she masturbating
in front of me, huh?
877
00:43:59,345 --> 00:44:00,512
I told you,
she's a sleep masturbator.
878
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:03,390
- She's awake and you know it.
- Oh, yeah?
879
00:44:03,558 --> 00:44:05,839
She's pissed at you
and that's how she's getting you back.
880
00:44:05,893 --> 00:44:07,936
The woman shit on your pillow,
for Christ's sake.
881
00:44:08,104 --> 00:44:09,563
She was asleep!
God damn it,
882
00:44:09,731 --> 00:44:12,899
she was dreaming about the time
her cat had kittens.
883
00:44:13,067 --> 00:44:15,110
Is she asleep
when she spits in your coffee?
884
00:44:17,613 --> 00:44:19,406
I've seen it, Luck.
885
00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:27,497
I got this.
886
00:44:30,084 --> 00:44:31,585
Oh, and, uh,
you're welcome
887
00:44:31,753 --> 00:44:33,920
for the free room, board,
and transportation, too.
888
00:44:34,088 --> 00:44:35,589
Asshole.
889
00:44:41,471 --> 00:44:43,930
Vickie:
After the birth of Margie, my third,
890
00:44:44,098 --> 00:44:47,184
I was back in a size four
a month later.
891
00:44:47,352 --> 00:44:50,062
I was always thin.
I could always bounce right back.
892
00:44:50,229 --> 00:44:53,148
You remember how my parents
owned that Laundromat, right?
893
00:44:53,316 --> 00:44:55,692
- Yeah, the Fluff and Fold.
- (chuckles)
894
00:44:55,860 --> 00:44:57,694
God, I hated that place.
895
00:44:57,862 --> 00:45:01,031
Every day we would
just have to wade through
896
00:45:01,199 --> 00:45:03,283
a mountain of other people's
dirty laundry.
897
00:45:03,451 --> 00:45:06,995
I just thought,
"I will never be like my parents."
898
00:45:07,163 --> 00:45:10,123
I mean, how can they spend
their lives washing and folding
899
00:45:10,291 --> 00:45:12,459
other people's sweat and stains?
900
00:45:14,295 --> 00:45:16,755
Then one day
I was in my cellar
901
00:45:16,923 --> 00:45:21,676
washing my fourth, fifth, sixth,
load of dirty clothes
902
00:45:21,844 --> 00:45:23,970
while I folded another
from the dryer
903
00:45:24,138 --> 00:45:26,640
when I heard the cellar door open
904
00:45:26,808 --> 00:45:29,810
and a whole new pile
was tossed down.
905
00:45:29,977 --> 00:45:32,020
And I thought...
906
00:45:35,441 --> 00:45:36,983
"Oh, my God."
907
00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:38,819
Let's do a shot.
908
00:45:38,986 --> 00:45:41,113
(laughs)
909
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:42,739
- That sounds great.
- Yeah.
910
00:45:42,907 --> 00:45:45,700
Greta on video:
Okay, so be honest.
911
00:45:45,868 --> 00:45:48,829
You're actually kinda happy
that my grandmother's dead, aren't you?
912
00:45:48,996 --> 00:45:52,290
- No.
- Come on, don't lie.
913
00:45:52,458 --> 00:45:54,334
I'm not lying.
914
00:45:54,502 --> 00:45:56,711
Not long from now,
when I'm in the afterlife,
915
00:45:56,879 --> 00:45:59,423
I'm gonna bump into Mrs. Lawrence
and it's gonna be all awkward
916
00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:03,218
and I'm gonna be like,
"Hey, Mrs. Lawrence, how are you?"
917
00:46:03,386 --> 00:46:05,303
And she's gonna be
all like fake nice to me
918
00:46:05,471 --> 00:46:07,389
'cause, you know,
in heaven you gotta be polite.
919
00:46:07,557 --> 00:46:09,850
(Greta laughs on video)
920
00:46:10,017 --> 00:46:11,726
Greta on video: You know what?
You're really kinda funny.
921
00:46:11,894 --> 00:46:13,895
Thanks.
922
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:19,359
Greta on video:
So... why do you think
923
00:46:19,527 --> 00:46:21,987
you wanna kill yourself?
924
00:46:26,242 --> 00:46:29,077
I just got tired of trying
to find reasons not to.
925
00:46:31,664 --> 00:46:35,041
- (camcorder beeps)
- (sighs)
926
00:46:35,209 --> 00:46:36,960
Do you know that
I fell in love with you
927
00:46:37,128 --> 00:46:38,420
in fourth grade?
928
00:46:38,588 --> 00:46:41,423
Geography class.
You sat right in front of me.
929
00:46:41,591 --> 00:46:43,550
I couldn't take
my eyes off you.
930
00:46:43,718 --> 00:46:47,179
You were so pretty and kind.
931
00:46:47,346 --> 00:46:50,098
- You knew all your continents.
- (laughs)
932
00:46:50,266 --> 00:46:52,434
Did you really think
I was kind?
933
00:46:52,602 --> 00:46:55,145
I don't feel kind.
934
00:46:55,313 --> 00:46:56,438
What do you feel like?
935
00:46:56,606 --> 00:46:58,982
Like a cautionary tale.
936
00:46:59,150 --> 00:47:02,444
I did what was safe,
what was expected.
937
00:47:02,612 --> 00:47:04,154
I love my kids, but...
938
00:47:04,322 --> 00:47:05,405
I bet you're a great mom.
939
00:47:05,573 --> 00:47:07,574
I don't wanna be
just a great mom.
940
00:47:07,742 --> 00:47:11,786
I want to matter and not just
as a mom to my kids and Albert,
941
00:47:11,954 --> 00:47:14,456
but to me.
942
00:47:14,624 --> 00:47:15,957
I wanna matter to me.
943
00:47:16,125 --> 00:47:19,294
You matter.
You matter to me.
944
00:47:21,881 --> 00:47:25,258
There's no reset button,
is there, Teddy?
945
00:47:25,426 --> 00:47:27,177
You don't need one.
946
00:47:27,345 --> 00:47:32,432
You're the sweetest,
most gentle person I've ever known.
947
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,059
I've always wondered
how differently my life
948
00:47:34,227 --> 00:47:35,977
would have turned out
if I was with you.
949
00:47:39,565 --> 00:47:42,400
You know, I remember
950
00:47:42,568 --> 00:47:45,487
you used to eat an apple
every day for lunch.
951
00:47:45,655 --> 00:47:47,364
They're God's toothbrush.
952
00:47:47,532 --> 00:47:50,200
You always wore
7UP Lip Smacker.
953
00:47:50,368 --> 00:47:51,993
To this day,
that's my favorite soda.
954
00:47:52,161 --> 00:47:54,329
Your book report
on reptiles and amphibians
955
00:47:54,497 --> 00:47:57,499
in the sixth grade was...
incredible.
956
00:47:57,667 --> 00:47:59,334
I got a B.
957
00:47:59,502 --> 00:48:01,169
Oh, that's fucking bullshit.
958
00:48:01,337 --> 00:48:03,672
♪ Love all day, baby ♪
959
00:48:03,839 --> 00:48:07,175
♪ No need to decide ♪
960
00:48:07,343 --> 00:48:09,886
♪ Well, should I live a lie ♪
961
00:48:10,054 --> 00:48:12,514
♪ So I can find... ♪
962
00:48:12,682 --> 00:48:15,308
I'll meet you at the Willow.
It's up a block.
963
00:48:15,476 --> 00:48:16,768
You sure you want to do this?
964
00:48:16,936 --> 00:48:18,728
Ted, if you're looking
for absolution,
965
00:48:18,896 --> 00:48:20,855
I don't think either one of us
is getting that.
966
00:48:21,023 --> 00:48:23,775
So we either have sex
and live with it,
967
00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:25,402
or we don't.
968
00:48:26,654 --> 00:48:28,321
Okay, I'll see you there.
969
00:48:28,489 --> 00:48:31,825
♪ Well, it might just blind you ♪
970
00:48:31,993 --> 00:48:35,161
♪ Before light, baby ♪
971
00:48:35,329 --> 00:48:40,667
♪ It might just blind you ♪
972
00:48:40,835 --> 00:48:43,962
♪ Before ♪
973
00:48:44,130 --> 00:48:49,426
♪ Light, babe. ♪
974
00:48:57,268 --> 00:48:59,936
Hey, man.
See you tonight.
975
00:49:00,104 --> 00:49:02,897
10:00 PM.
Huh? Huh?
976
00:49:03,065 --> 00:49:04,941
(laughing)
Yeah.
977
00:49:06,777 --> 00:49:09,070
(sighs)
Oh, my God.
978
00:49:09,238 --> 00:49:12,032
(imitating Elvis)
♪ I love the sun ♪
979
00:49:12,199 --> 00:49:13,783
♪ I love the moon ♪
980
00:49:13,951 --> 00:49:16,745
♪ I love the way
you make me swoon... ♪
981
00:49:16,912 --> 00:49:18,747
(humming)
982
00:49:21,917 --> 00:49:24,669
(Nancy laughs)
Look there.
983
00:49:24,837 --> 00:49:26,755
- Hmm?
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, here.
984
00:49:26,922 --> 00:49:30,425
There's the two of you off
on one of your Wammy expeditions.
985
00:49:30,593 --> 00:49:31,801
(both chuckle)
986
00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:34,262
Ted: Probably made
a thousand trips out on that lake.
987
00:49:34,430 --> 00:49:37,223
- Uh-huh.
- All boils down to 37 photos
988
00:49:37,391 --> 00:49:40,935
of a spare tire, schools of fish,
and a drowned muskrat.
989
00:49:41,103 --> 00:49:43,063
Well, I beg to differ with you.
990
00:49:43,230 --> 00:49:45,565
You have way much more
than that.
991
00:49:45,733 --> 00:49:48,777
You have
countless hours together.
992
00:49:48,944 --> 00:49:50,570
Just the two of you.
993
00:49:50,738 --> 00:49:53,782
Talking and sharing
and searching.
994
00:49:53,949 --> 00:49:54,949
(laughs)
995
00:49:55,117 --> 00:49:56,660
Searching for what?
996
00:49:56,827 --> 00:50:00,288
We could have done the same thing
playing catch in our backyard.
997
00:50:00,456 --> 00:50:05,627
Your father wanted to have
an adventure with you boys.
998
00:50:05,795 --> 00:50:10,465
♪ You have made
my life complete ♪
999
00:50:10,633 --> 00:50:12,425
- ♪ Never... ♪
- Shirley.
1000
00:50:12,593 --> 00:50:14,636
I'm sorry, baby. Sorry.
Excuse me, baby. Excuse me.
1001
00:50:14,804 --> 00:50:16,262
- Nancy: Thanks.
- Sorry, Ted.
1002
00:50:16,430 --> 00:50:18,264
- Sounds good.
- Thank you, baby.
1003
00:50:18,432 --> 00:50:20,475
Thank you very much.
1004
00:50:20,643 --> 00:50:23,019
As soon as you could talk,
1005
00:50:23,187 --> 00:50:26,022
you were obsessed
with Wammy.
1006
00:50:26,190 --> 00:50:28,566
You had the lunchbox,
you had the T-shirt,
1007
00:50:28,734 --> 00:50:30,235
you had the little cap,
you had everything.
1008
00:50:30,403 --> 00:50:33,363
If it said "Wammy,"
you had it.
1009
00:50:33,531 --> 00:50:36,324
And your father thought
1010
00:50:36,492 --> 00:50:38,451
it would be so fun
1011
00:50:38,619 --> 00:50:41,663
for just the two of you
to go find him.
1012
00:50:41,831 --> 00:50:44,708
I thought Dad
was the one who started it all.
1013
00:50:44,875 --> 00:50:47,669
He knew everything about Wammy.
He was a Wammy encyclopedia.
1014
00:50:47,837 --> 00:50:51,131
He was a Teddy encyclopedia.
1015
00:50:51,298 --> 00:50:55,552
Searching for Wammy
was your father's gift to you...
1016
00:50:55,720 --> 00:50:57,512
because you were so practical.
1017
00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:03,309
And he knew
that you needed wonder.
1018
00:51:16,741 --> 00:51:18,533
Ted: Rawly, are you sure
about this?
1019
00:51:18,701 --> 00:51:20,368
I mean,
I know he's a dick, but...
1020
00:51:20,536 --> 00:51:22,412
But what?
1021
00:51:22,580 --> 00:51:25,206
That miserable bastard
ruined my life.
1022
00:51:25,374 --> 00:51:27,959
He treated me like shit
since I could stand.
1023
00:51:28,127 --> 00:51:30,003
He was cruel to my dead wife,
1024
00:51:30,171 --> 00:51:32,380
he treats Henry
like a stray fucking cat, man.
1025
00:51:32,548 --> 00:51:35,049
Fuck him!
I'm going up there.
1026
00:51:35,217 --> 00:51:37,552
I'm gonna strangle his ass
with my bare hands.
1027
00:51:37,720 --> 00:51:40,722
I'll be the last thing
his bulging eyes see
1028
00:51:40,890 --> 00:51:44,434
before he takes his long trip
to the dark recesses of hell.
1029
00:51:46,395 --> 00:51:49,105
Okay, sounds like
you've given this some thought.
1030
00:51:49,273 --> 00:51:50,732
Come on.
1031
00:51:55,029 --> 00:51:57,238
All right,
you rotten son of a bitch.
1032
00:51:57,406 --> 00:51:58,907
It's payback time.
1033
00:52:08,584 --> 00:52:10,084
Shit!
1034
00:52:10,252 --> 00:52:11,586
- Dad?
- (groaning)
1035
00:52:11,754 --> 00:52:13,588
Daddy?
Hey, Dad!
1036
00:52:13,756 --> 00:52:14,756
- (gasping)
- Oh, fuck, he's having a heart attack!
1037
00:52:14,924 --> 00:52:17,550
Shit! Don't just stand there, Ted!
Call 9-1-1, man!
1038
00:52:17,718 --> 00:52:19,719
I-I thought you were here
to kill him, remember?
1039
00:52:19,887 --> 00:52:21,447
He was the asshole
who ruined your life,
1040
00:52:21,597 --> 00:52:23,139
he's mean to your wife,
called Henry
1041
00:52:23,307 --> 00:52:25,183
- the "Little Engine That Couldn't."
- Ted, what the fuck, man?!
1042
00:52:25,351 --> 00:52:26,726
You're being really insensitive
right now!
1043
00:52:26,894 --> 00:52:28,436
Fucking do something!
He's having a heart attack,
1044
00:52:28,604 --> 00:52:30,146
for Christ's sake!
Help me! Help me!
1045
00:52:30,314 --> 00:52:31,856
- God damn it!
- What's happening?
1046
00:52:32,024 --> 00:52:33,691
Daddy! Dad?
1047
00:52:51,001 --> 00:52:52,210
(doorbell rings)
1048
00:52:52,378 --> 00:52:53,711
I got it.
1049
00:52:55,130 --> 00:52:56,548
Thank you.
1050
00:53:11,981 --> 00:53:13,147
Vickie?
1051
00:53:14,358 --> 00:53:18,027
What... what are you
doing here?
1052
00:53:18,195 --> 00:53:20,363
The other night made me think.
1053
00:53:20,531 --> 00:53:23,032
I've lived my whole life
for other people.
1054
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:25,368
For what?
1055
00:53:25,536 --> 00:53:27,817
We've been in love with each other
since the fourth grade.
1056
00:53:27,830 --> 00:53:29,330
You said so yourself.
1057
00:53:29,498 --> 00:53:31,499
What?
1058
00:53:31,667 --> 00:53:34,544
I don't want
to fight it anymore.
1059
00:53:34,712 --> 00:53:37,088
I want to give us
the chance we never had.
1060
00:53:40,009 --> 00:53:43,511
But you have kids
and a husband.
1061
00:53:43,679 --> 00:53:46,514
I had them the other night, too,
when you took me from behind.
1062
00:53:46,682 --> 00:53:47,724
(gasps)
They had sex!
1063
00:53:47,892 --> 00:53:50,393
I can see it. Set me on fire.
Start with my eyes.
1064
00:53:50,561 --> 00:53:52,103
Get out!
1065
00:53:55,149 --> 00:53:57,400
Look, Vickie,
that night was wonderful.
1066
00:53:57,568 --> 00:53:59,861
It was the best.
1067
00:54:00,029 --> 00:54:01,905
I never orgasm like that orally.
1068
00:54:02,072 --> 00:54:04,365
I'm still alive.
Mercy killing.
1069
00:54:04,533 --> 00:54:06,743
- (Lucky groans)
- (sighs) I just...
1070
00:54:06,911 --> 00:54:10,330
I think we should
slow down a bit, you know?
1071
00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:12,457
- Discuss...
- Man: Vickie!
1072
00:54:12,625 --> 00:54:14,584
- Vickie!
- Albert.
1073
00:54:14,752 --> 00:54:16,377
He must have found my note.
1074
00:54:16,545 --> 00:54:19,547
- Albert: Don't get upset!
- You wrote a note?
1075
00:54:19,715 --> 00:54:22,216
- Slow down! Come on, get in here.
- (children crying)
1076
00:54:22,384 --> 00:54:24,385
- Vickie!
- Lucky: Who the hell is this?
1077
00:54:24,553 --> 00:54:26,930
Albert: Come home.
I need you.
1078
00:54:27,097 --> 00:54:28,765
The kids need you.
1079
00:54:28,933 --> 00:54:30,892
Jake hasn't stopped crying.
1080
00:54:31,060 --> 00:54:33,061
I can't get him to eat.
1081
00:54:33,228 --> 00:54:35,730
I wrote this...
1082
00:54:35,898 --> 00:54:37,732
after our LuLu was born.
1083
00:54:38,943 --> 00:54:40,068
Is he gonna read a poem?
1084
00:54:40,235 --> 00:54:42,737
"I was alone.
1085
00:54:42,905 --> 00:54:44,364
Dinner alone.
1086
00:54:44,531 --> 00:54:46,407
Television alone.
1087
00:54:46,575 --> 00:54:47,575
Work alone.
1088
00:54:47,743 --> 00:54:50,286
Live alone.
1089
00:54:50,454 --> 00:54:52,789
Sleep alone.
1090
00:54:52,957 --> 00:54:56,417
I thought that was good,
being alone.
1091
00:54:56,585 --> 00:54:58,628
Then I met you.
1092
00:54:58,796 --> 00:55:00,505
Then we had kids,
1093
00:55:00,673 --> 00:55:03,341
and I realized
how sad I was alone."
1094
00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:07,345
I mean, I'm no expert,
but shouldn't that rhyme?
1095
00:55:07,513 --> 00:55:10,014
- (crying)
- Okay, shh, shh, shh.
1096
00:55:10,182 --> 00:55:13,142
- I didn't mean... yeah.
- Kathleen: It's okay. Shh, shh, shh.
1097
00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:15,103
You go... there.
1098
00:55:15,270 --> 00:55:17,689
I think Jake's allergic
to fish sticks.
1099
00:55:17,856 --> 00:55:19,065
(children shouting)
1100
00:55:19,233 --> 00:55:21,609
It's all I can cook him
and he keeps throwing up.
1101
00:55:21,777 --> 00:55:24,946
You got 300 pounds of mother of five
blubbering at my table.
1102
00:55:25,114 --> 00:55:28,324
You gotta kick that one
back into the ocean, tout de suite.
1103
00:55:28,492 --> 00:55:30,618
- Would you skip the fat jokes?
- Okay.
1104
00:55:30,786 --> 00:55:33,121
But you and a whole lotta lovin'
gotta figure this out.
1105
00:55:33,288 --> 00:55:36,082
(laughs)
I'm sorry. Sorry, last one.
1106
00:55:36,250 --> 00:55:39,752
Uh-oh! Your hair's on fire!
Gotta get that.
1107
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:41,963
Hey!
Come here!
1108
00:55:43,882 --> 00:55:45,383
Hey, Romeo.
1109
00:55:48,303 --> 00:55:51,139
Don't be fucking rude, dude.
Look at me when I talk to you.
1110
00:55:51,306 --> 00:55:53,391
There just ain't much
to look at, man, that's all.
1111
00:55:57,354 --> 00:56:00,982
Aha, look out, Zeke.
I think he's got the hots for you.
1112
00:56:01,150 --> 00:56:03,484
Fuck off, guys.
Can we go to class, please?
1113
00:56:03,652 --> 00:56:06,738
Yeah, I'm done
with this guy anyway.
1114
00:56:09,116 --> 00:56:10,992
Oh, uh, hey, Mr. James.
1115
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:12,785
Come on.
Guys, let's go.
1116
00:56:14,788 --> 00:56:16,956
- What's up, Mr. James?
- Everything okay, Romeo?
1117
00:56:17,124 --> 00:56:19,500
- (school bell ringing)
- Amazing.
1118
00:56:25,507 --> 00:56:28,009
- Tall cappuccino.
- Thank you.
1119
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:35,266
Hey, you Ted?
1120
00:56:35,434 --> 00:56:36,893
Yeah.
1121
00:56:37,061 --> 00:56:38,728
- I'm Zeke's friend.
- Oh.
1122
00:56:38,896 --> 00:56:40,688
Do you go to school together?
1123
00:56:43,525 --> 00:56:46,444
We do a lot of things together.
1124
00:56:46,612 --> 00:56:49,280
Oh, okay.
1125
00:56:50,699 --> 00:56:52,909
I love him,
I just can't live like this.
1126
00:56:53,077 --> 00:56:56,120
You know, I'm fine being a secret,
I'm used to that, but I'm...
1127
00:56:57,372 --> 00:56:59,582
I'm not okay with being
less than a secret.
1128
00:56:59,750 --> 00:57:03,753
I guess I'm not exactly sure
what it is you want me to do.
1129
00:57:03,921 --> 00:57:06,130
Just be there for him.
1130
00:57:06,298 --> 00:57:09,050
You're the only one that knows
he's gay besides me and...
1131
00:57:12,554 --> 00:57:15,114
I'm breaking up with him
and he's gonna act like he doesn't care,
1132
00:57:15,140 --> 00:57:16,724
but he will.
1133
00:57:16,892 --> 00:57:19,727
And eventually it has to come out,
even if he can't.
1134
00:57:22,564 --> 00:57:24,398
I don't know,
just be there for him.
1135
00:57:27,736 --> 00:57:29,737
(music playing)
1136
00:57:35,786 --> 00:57:38,663
♪ This is all right,
this is all right ♪
1137
00:57:38,831 --> 00:57:41,249
♪ This is all right ♪
1138
00:57:43,585 --> 00:57:46,462
♪ This is all right,
this is all right ♪
1139
00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:48,047
♪ This is all right... ♪
1140
00:57:48,215 --> 00:57:50,299
I never wanted you
to leave your family.
1141
00:57:51,718 --> 00:57:53,761
You should open with that
next time.
1142
00:57:55,305 --> 00:57:58,141
Us big women with five kids,
1143
00:57:58,308 --> 00:58:00,434
kindness is like...
1144
00:58:00,602 --> 00:58:02,395
a dinner bell.
1145
00:58:02,563 --> 00:58:04,605
We'll always answer.
1146
00:58:06,942 --> 00:58:11,571
Funny thing,
another day... who knows.
1147
00:58:11,738 --> 00:58:14,157
I might not have, but...
1148
00:58:14,324 --> 00:58:16,242
that's the thing about days...
1149
00:58:17,911 --> 00:58:20,121
they have a mind of their own.
1150
00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:23,624
I'm so sorry.
1151
00:58:25,669 --> 00:58:27,170
I know you are.
1152
00:58:28,881 --> 00:58:30,631
Now...
1153
00:58:30,799 --> 00:58:32,842
go fuck yourself.
1154
00:58:37,639 --> 00:58:39,015
Yeah.
1155
00:58:39,183 --> 00:58:43,603
♪ It's not a last call, but ♪
1156
00:58:45,397 --> 00:58:46,814
♪ Ooh ♪
1157
00:58:46,982 --> 00:58:51,152
♪ It's time to go home... ♪
1158
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:53,321
(whistling)
1159
00:58:55,073 --> 00:59:00,328
♪ I wear your heart
on my sleeve ♪
1160
00:59:02,206 --> 00:59:06,792
♪ I wear your heart
on my sleeve ♪
1161
00:59:09,922 --> 00:59:14,550
♪ You wear your heart
on my sleeve ♪
1162
00:59:17,846 --> 00:59:22,058
♪ I wear your heart
on my sleeve... ♪
1163
00:59:34,363 --> 00:59:36,489
(groans)
Oh, man.
1164
00:59:38,367 --> 00:59:40,201
(Kathleen moaning)
1165
00:59:41,703 --> 00:59:46,666
♪ We're not the end
of every sentence... ♪
1166
00:59:46,833 --> 00:59:49,210
I know you're awake, Kathleen.
1167
00:59:51,171 --> 00:59:53,339
I know you spit
in my coffee, too.
1168
00:59:57,386 --> 01:00:01,764
♪ It's not a last call, but ♪
1169
01:00:05,227 --> 01:00:09,063
♪ It's time to go home ♪
1170
01:00:12,401 --> 01:00:16,904
♪ You wear your heart
on my sleeve ♪
1171
01:00:20,242 --> 01:00:24,620
♪ I wear your heart
on my sleeve ♪
1172
01:00:26,581 --> 01:00:30,501
♪ We are not the end ♪
1173
01:00:30,669 --> 01:00:34,463
♪ But it's almost gone ♪
1174
01:00:34,631 --> 01:00:38,050
♪ Not all we are ♪
1175
01:00:38,218 --> 01:00:41,929
♪ It's not all you are ♪
1176
01:00:42,097 --> 01:00:47,268
♪ We can't wait so long,
but we waited for... ♪
1177
01:00:47,436 --> 01:00:48,853
You must be Ted.
1178
01:00:50,272 --> 01:00:52,523
Yeah, I'm Ted.
1179
01:00:57,029 --> 01:00:58,821
What, you don't want her
anymore?
1180
01:00:58,989 --> 01:01:01,490
It was never my intention
to take her.
1181
01:01:03,035 --> 01:01:05,161
Well, what was your intention?
1182
01:01:05,329 --> 01:01:08,289
Vickie's a big girl,
she's got five kids.
1183
01:01:08,457 --> 01:01:10,833
I know what I see in her, but...
1184
01:01:11,001 --> 01:01:13,044
you, I don't have a clue.
1185
01:01:14,254 --> 01:01:16,589
It doesn't matter.
1186
01:01:16,757 --> 01:01:18,966
We made a mistake.
She wants to come back.
1187
01:01:19,134 --> 01:01:21,761
What a set of balls you have.
1188
01:01:21,928 --> 01:01:25,473
You blow a family apart
and say it doesn't matter?
1189
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,308
No, I don't mean it like that.
1190
01:01:30,187 --> 01:01:33,314
My life is really complicated
right now.
1191
01:01:33,482 --> 01:01:34,815
(scoffs)
No shit.
1192
01:01:34,983 --> 01:01:37,902
You just inherited
a single mom with five kids.
1193
01:01:39,321 --> 01:01:41,197
Albert, I'm...
1194
01:01:41,365 --> 01:01:42,990
I'm leaving.
1195
01:01:43,158 --> 01:01:45,159
I'm never coming back, ever.
1196
01:01:48,622 --> 01:01:49,830
It's your call.
1197
01:01:53,502 --> 01:01:56,462
You're not gonna tell me
why you did it?
1198
01:01:56,630 --> 01:01:58,047
Does it matter?
1199
01:02:01,051 --> 01:02:04,178
Yeah, it matters,
'cause everything fucking matters.
1200
01:02:07,599 --> 01:02:09,308
I don't know.
1201
01:02:10,769 --> 01:02:13,187
- Memories?
- Memories. (scoffs)
1202
01:02:16,024 --> 01:02:18,901
Memories are like a magpie.
1203
01:02:19,069 --> 01:02:21,028
It picks up all the...
1204
01:02:21,196 --> 01:02:24,657
bright and shiny shit and pays
no attention to what really matters.
1205
01:02:27,869 --> 01:02:29,286
Tell her I'll think about it.
1206
01:02:44,594 --> 01:02:47,096
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
1207
01:02:49,933 --> 01:02:51,725
Man:
Our condolences.
1208
01:02:54,438 --> 01:02:56,814
- Mrs. Phillips?
- Ted Morgan?
1209
01:02:56,982 --> 01:02:59,692
- Oh, my.
- I can't believe you remember me.
1210
01:02:59,860 --> 01:03:02,403
Oh, of course I do.
1211
01:03:02,571 --> 01:03:05,489
I had you and Lucky.
Eighth grade geography.
1212
01:03:05,657 --> 01:03:06,866
That's right.
1213
01:03:07,033 --> 01:03:09,243
I always liked you better.
1214
01:03:09,411 --> 01:03:11,495
Lucky gave me
a ticket last year.
1215
01:03:11,663 --> 01:03:13,747
He said it was
for being too cute.
1216
01:03:13,915 --> 01:03:16,750
Aren't you nice to come
and say goodbye to Edwina
1217
01:03:16,918 --> 01:03:19,670
after she treated you
so horribly?
1218
01:03:19,838 --> 01:03:22,381
Yeah, I could never really
figure that out.
1219
01:03:22,549 --> 01:03:24,341
I guess I just had
one of those faces.
1220
01:03:24,509 --> 01:03:27,678
No, you had her son's face.
1221
01:03:27,846 --> 01:03:30,890
He left right after
Greta was born.
1222
01:03:31,057 --> 01:03:32,600
Broke her heart.
1223
01:03:32,767 --> 01:03:35,978
And I guess she was
taking that broken heart out on you.
1224
01:03:36,146 --> 01:03:38,647
Oh, she's such a tragic girl.
1225
01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:41,942
Growing up without a father
and that thing with her mother.
1226
01:03:42,110 --> 01:03:45,112
Yeah, I know. Cancer.
It's an awful way to go.
1227
01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:48,616
No, her mother
didn't die of cancer.
1228
01:03:48,783 --> 01:03:50,576
She took her own life.
1229
01:03:50,744 --> 01:03:54,288
Poor little thing,
she was only seven.
1230
01:03:57,876 --> 01:03:59,376
Hmm.
1231
01:04:05,634 --> 01:04:06,967
Hey, you.
1232
01:04:17,103 --> 01:04:18,229
You all right?
1233
01:04:18,396 --> 01:04:21,482
People leave.
It's okay.
1234
01:04:24,069 --> 01:04:26,820
Wake's over.
Let's go.
1235
01:04:26,988 --> 01:04:29,657
♪ But I know you can ♪
1236
01:04:32,786 --> 01:04:36,330
♪ Swallow it whole... ♪
1237
01:04:36,498 --> 01:04:38,707
Ted:
Can I ask you a question?
1238
01:04:38,875 --> 01:04:40,459
Fire away.
1239
01:04:42,337 --> 01:04:44,588
Why don't you
have a boyfriend?
1240
01:04:44,756 --> 01:04:46,131
You're really pretty.
1241
01:04:46,299 --> 01:04:49,677
You're totally crazy,
but really pretty.
1242
01:04:49,844 --> 01:04:52,680
♪ When you feel your soul... ♪
1243
01:04:52,847 --> 01:04:55,015
I know your mom
didn't die of cancer.
1244
01:04:57,143 --> 01:05:01,397
♪ Let it be this way
till the end of time... ♪
1245
01:05:01,565 --> 01:05:04,567
I'm sorry for lying.
1246
01:05:04,734 --> 01:05:07,069
You must think that I'm...
1247
01:05:07,237 --> 01:05:09,697
like some kind
of crazy person.
1248
01:05:09,864 --> 01:05:11,407
I understand.
1249
01:05:11,575 --> 01:05:13,158
You do?
1250
01:05:13,326 --> 01:05:15,661
You know,
it's not your fault.
1251
01:05:17,706 --> 01:05:19,248
You didn't deserve that.
1252
01:05:21,626 --> 01:05:27,339
♪ I wanna move less
over time... ♪
1253
01:05:29,759 --> 01:05:32,094
Greta...
1254
01:05:32,262 --> 01:05:34,221
I'm sorry.
1255
01:05:35,473 --> 01:05:37,433
I can't.
1256
01:05:38,893 --> 01:05:41,228
I'm not gonna be here.
1257
01:05:42,647 --> 01:05:44,023
Greta.
1258
01:05:44,190 --> 01:05:46,775
Come... come on.
Come on, don't do this.
1259
01:05:46,943 --> 01:05:50,029
Why are you acting
like you care about me?
1260
01:05:50,196 --> 01:05:52,114
I do care.
1261
01:05:52,282 --> 01:05:54,074
I care so much.
1262
01:05:54,242 --> 01:05:56,619
I just...
1263
01:05:56,786 --> 01:06:00,623
- I'm done.
- You're a hypocrite.
1264
01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:02,916
I actually felt bad for you.
1265
01:06:03,084 --> 01:06:05,919
I thought you were just
some lonely guy.
1266
01:06:06,087 --> 01:06:10,674
Like I am and you didn't understand
that that's all it was, but...
1267
01:06:10,842 --> 01:06:14,720
you have people
who care about you!
1268
01:06:14,888 --> 01:06:17,848
You're not lonely,
you're empty!
1269
01:06:18,016 --> 01:06:19,642
And that's worse!
1270
01:06:19,809 --> 01:06:23,020
♪ On fire, baby ♪
1271
01:06:23,188 --> 01:06:26,482
♪ When you know
I want to make you feel ♪
1272
01:06:26,650 --> 01:06:27,983
♪ For me, babe ♪
1273
01:06:28,151 --> 01:06:30,569
♪ Feel for me, baby... ♪
1274
01:06:30,737 --> 01:06:31,820
(car door closes)
1275
01:06:33,073 --> 01:06:35,282
You guys wanna hit the lake?
1276
01:06:35,450 --> 01:06:37,785
It's hot as shit.
1277
01:06:37,952 --> 01:06:40,829
Then we gotta get in the car
and drive.
1278
01:06:40,997 --> 01:06:42,581
It's too much of an effort.
1279
01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:45,209
What's the matter, Pete?
1280
01:06:45,377 --> 01:06:47,461
- Heavy flow day?
- (boys snicker)
1281
01:06:47,629 --> 01:06:48,671
Fuck off.
1282
01:06:48,838 --> 01:06:51,507
I just want my entertainment
to involve a little less effort.
1283
01:06:51,675 --> 01:06:54,718
Cheerleaders:
Defense! Defense! Defense!
1284
01:06:54,886 --> 01:06:58,222
Pete:
Ask and you shall receive.
1285
01:06:58,390 --> 01:07:00,015
Who's up for a little fun?
1286
01:07:05,146 --> 01:07:06,605
Easy, Romeo.
1287
01:07:06,773 --> 01:07:07,981
Your clothes are gonna be
waiting for you
1288
01:07:08,149 --> 01:07:10,025
on the roof of the school.
1289
01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:11,568
Oh, yeah,
and all you gotta do
1290
01:07:11,736 --> 01:07:13,278
is walk across the school
bare-ass,
1291
01:07:13,446 --> 01:07:15,864
climb up side the ladder
and get 'em.
1292
01:07:16,032 --> 01:07:17,866
You're taking off my fucking clothes
and I'm the one that's gay?
1293
01:07:18,034 --> 01:07:19,034
Shut the fuck up, bitch.
1294
01:07:19,202 --> 01:07:20,202
(grunts)
1295
01:07:24,791 --> 01:07:25,958
Come on, dude,
get over here!
1296
01:07:26,126 --> 01:07:27,751
He's as strong as 10 queers
1297
01:07:27,919 --> 01:07:29,545
or one really strong
11 -year-old girl.
1298
01:07:29,713 --> 01:07:30,963
Zeke!
1299
01:07:31,131 --> 01:07:32,506
What the fuck you asking
his help for, man?
1300
01:07:32,674 --> 01:07:34,925
Quit being such a fucking pussy
and get over here.
1301
01:07:35,093 --> 01:07:36,427
Romeo:
Zeke, please, man!
1302
01:07:36,594 --> 01:07:39,234
Please? What the fuck is going on?
Why does he keep asking for you?
1303
01:07:48,565 --> 01:07:51,316
'Cause this faggot's been after my ass
since fucking freshman year.
1304
01:07:51,484 --> 01:07:53,110
Come on, Zeke,
don't do that.
1305
01:07:53,278 --> 01:07:55,487
- Stop saying my fucking name!
- Whoa!
1306
01:07:55,655 --> 01:07:56,822
Hey!
1307
01:07:56,990 --> 01:07:59,199
(grunting)
1308
01:07:59,367 --> 01:08:00,534
Dude, that's enough.
That's enough!
1309
01:08:00,702 --> 01:08:03,996
Get the fuck off me!
Motherfuck!
1310
01:08:04,164 --> 01:08:05,873
Stop it! Stop!
1311
01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:07,499
Let's get the fuck out of here!
1312
01:08:16,676 --> 01:08:19,136
(police radio chatter)
1313
01:08:20,430 --> 01:08:22,598
(crying)
1314
01:08:24,392 --> 01:08:27,561
- Ah!
- We're gonna find your son, ma'am.
1315
01:08:33,234 --> 01:08:35,277
- What's going on?
- Do you know where Zeke is?
1316
01:08:35,445 --> 01:08:37,404
Zeke? No, why?
1317
01:08:37,572 --> 01:08:40,157
He beat the shit out of some black kid
at school for no reason.
1318
01:08:40,325 --> 01:08:42,576
Then he steals his friend's car
and we can't find him anywhere.
1319
01:08:42,744 --> 01:08:44,953
Romeo?
1320
01:08:45,121 --> 01:08:47,915
Yeah, Romeo Simple.
How do you know his name?
1321
01:08:49,751 --> 01:08:51,919
Romeo is Zeke's boyfriend.
1322
01:08:52,086 --> 01:08:54,922
(scoffs)
What?
1323
01:08:57,175 --> 01:08:59,468
Are you saying
my Zeke and this...
1324
01:08:59,636 --> 01:09:01,178
He told me.
1325
01:09:01,346 --> 01:09:03,013
He has...
1326
01:09:03,181 --> 01:09:05,891
drawings of penises in a bowl.
1327
01:09:06,059 --> 01:09:09,436
- Don't!
- Don't you talk about my son!
1328
01:09:14,734 --> 01:09:15,859
(grunts)
1329
01:09:16,027 --> 01:09:17,820
Whoa, whoa!
Everybody stand back.
1330
01:09:17,987 --> 01:09:19,530
This is a family matter.
1331
01:09:19,697 --> 01:09:22,115
Oh, that's a nice shot,
little brother.
1332
01:09:22,283 --> 01:09:24,117
Hit a man
when his back is turned.
1333
01:09:24,285 --> 01:09:26,870
I bet you can't do that
when I'm facing you.
1334
01:09:30,625 --> 01:09:32,835
- (grunting)
- (screaming)
1335
01:09:35,630 --> 01:09:39,550
Oh, look, look!
Here's a bowl of dicks for you to draw!
1336
01:09:39,717 --> 01:09:40,968
Here, take it.
1337
01:09:41,135 --> 01:09:42,803
Yeah, eat it!
1338
01:09:42,971 --> 01:09:44,346
Suck it!
1339
01:09:48,476 --> 01:09:49,810
Huh? Huh?
1340
01:09:49,978 --> 01:09:51,562
Get off me, you dumb shit!
1341
01:09:51,729 --> 01:09:53,021
You don't call,
you don't write,
1342
01:09:53,189 --> 01:09:54,773
and your bitch-ass leaves
and all of a sudden it's,
1343
01:09:54,941 --> 01:09:57,150
"Hey, big brother,
can I come stay at your house
1344
01:09:57,318 --> 01:09:58,610
while I fuck some fatties?"
1345
01:09:58,778 --> 01:09:59,987
Huh?!
1346
01:10:01,322 --> 01:10:02,406
(laughing)
1347
01:10:02,574 --> 01:10:04,867
You're tickling me.
Stop tickling.
1348
01:10:05,034 --> 01:10:08,287
Maybe I'd come back more
if you weren't such an asshole.
1349
01:10:08,454 --> 01:10:09,955
Ah! Fuck!
1350
01:10:10,123 --> 01:10:11,748
You're both assholes.
1351
01:10:14,043 --> 01:10:15,294
Teddy's right.
1352
01:10:17,672 --> 01:10:20,841
It was a year ago, it was late.
I saw Zeke kiss a boy.
1353
01:10:21,009 --> 01:10:22,843
He was black.
1354
01:10:24,637 --> 01:10:26,277
(crying)
I'm afraid he might hurt himself.
1355
01:10:26,347 --> 01:10:29,391
This is such bullshit!
1356
01:10:29,559 --> 01:10:31,351
I think I know how to find him.
1357
01:10:37,025 --> 01:10:40,694
- Excuse me, Romeo?
- It's okay, Mama.
1358
01:10:40,862 --> 01:10:42,237
I don't care who his brother is.
1359
01:10:42,405 --> 01:10:43,805
I'm gonna ground
that son of a bitch
1360
01:10:43,823 --> 01:10:46,617
till there ain't nothing left of him
but teeth and eyeballs.
1361
01:10:46,784 --> 01:10:50,954
I'm Ted Morgan.
This is my sister-in-law, Kathleen.
1362
01:10:51,122 --> 01:10:52,789
Are you okay?
1363
01:10:52,957 --> 01:10:55,125
A fractured jaw, a busted lip,
1364
01:10:55,293 --> 01:10:56,933
and he's laying up here
in a hospital bed.
1365
01:10:57,045 --> 01:10:58,211
Oh, he's dandy.
1366
01:10:58,379 --> 01:11:01,465
I'm so sorry.
1367
01:11:01,633 --> 01:11:03,133
Don't worry,
I'm not pressing charges,
1368
01:11:03,301 --> 01:11:04,551
so, please, just go.
1369
01:11:04,719 --> 01:11:06,553
Romeo, Zeke is missing.
1370
01:11:06,721 --> 01:11:08,764
He stole a car.
Nobody can find him.
1371
01:11:08,932 --> 01:11:10,474
Do you have any idea
where he might be?
1372
01:11:10,642 --> 01:11:13,560
- Mama, get my pants.
- You're not getting out of that bed.
1373
01:11:13,728 --> 01:11:15,938
- Mama, get my pants!
- Mm-mm, did you hear what I said?
1374
01:11:16,105 --> 01:11:17,105
Mama, you're more
than welcome to come.
1375
01:11:17,273 --> 01:11:19,066
You can do your whole
"Color Purple" thing on the ride there,
1376
01:11:19,233 --> 01:11:20,713
- but I'm going.
- You know how I feel
1377
01:11:20,735 --> 01:11:22,486
- about "The Color Purple."
- I'm going!
1378
01:11:22,654 --> 01:11:24,905
I think I know where he is.
1379
01:11:25,073 --> 01:11:27,824
- Get my pants, Mama.
- I'm getting 'em.
1380
01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:32,454
What?
1381
01:11:37,251 --> 01:11:40,087
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, he did it.
1382
01:11:41,506 --> 01:11:43,632
No.
1383
01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:46,426
No, no.
He went through with it.
1384
01:11:46,594 --> 01:11:48,345
Did he do it?
Did he do it?
1385
01:11:48,513 --> 01:11:49,846
Sorry, ma'am,
you gotta stay back.
1386
01:11:50,014 --> 01:11:51,682
He did it, didn't he?
He killed himself.
1387
01:11:51,849 --> 01:11:53,969
We don't know that, ma'am.
We're trying to locate him.
1388
01:11:54,018 --> 01:11:57,562
- Why do you think he killed himself?
- Because he told me he was going to.
1389
01:11:57,730 --> 01:12:00,190
- Zeke told you this? When?
- Zeke? No, Ted!
1390
01:12:00,358 --> 01:12:03,235
Ted told me that he was going
to commit suicide.
1391
01:12:03,403 --> 01:12:05,070
Chief, they found the car.
1392
01:12:05,238 --> 01:12:07,239
Zeke's not there, though.
1393
01:12:07,407 --> 01:12:09,408
- Show me.
- Let's go!
1394
01:12:09,575 --> 01:12:10,701
Wha...
1395
01:12:10,868 --> 01:12:12,619
Romeo:
It's right up here.
1396
01:12:12,787 --> 01:12:14,788
Mother: Ooh, child,
I ain't got on the right shoes.
1397
01:12:14,956 --> 01:12:16,581
This is a mess out here.
1398
01:12:16,749 --> 01:12:19,418
Why would y'all be
in all of this mess?
1399
01:12:19,585 --> 01:12:20,794
How'd you know
he'd come here?
1400
01:12:20,962 --> 01:12:23,005
It's his favorite place.
1401
01:12:23,172 --> 01:12:26,133
He likes to come here
when he wants to be alone.
1402
01:12:26,300 --> 01:12:27,884
It's called "World's End."
1403
01:12:28,052 --> 01:12:30,137
He said it's the most beautiful
place ever.
1404
01:12:30,304 --> 01:12:31,638
You just gotta believe
in the Lord
1405
01:12:31,806 --> 01:12:34,516
and know that everything's
gonna turn out right.
1406
01:12:34,684 --> 01:12:36,601
Do you think that God
hates homosexuals?
1407
01:12:36,769 --> 01:12:40,188
Not my God.
My God loves everybody.
1408
01:12:40,356 --> 01:12:42,716
Yeah? What if you get to heaven
and you find out He doesn't?
1409
01:12:42,775 --> 01:12:43,900
Then I'm in the wrong place,
1410
01:12:44,068 --> 01:12:45,988
'cause if He don't want my son,
He don't want me.
1411
01:12:46,154 --> 01:12:48,989
And I will give Him what for
and skip off down to hell.
1412
01:12:49,157 --> 01:12:52,617
Be nice to see
my daddy again anyway.
1413
01:12:52,785 --> 01:12:54,995
Hang on a minute!
1414
01:12:55,163 --> 01:12:57,330
- Zeke!
- Don't... don't... don't... don't!
1415
01:12:57,498 --> 01:12:59,583
Stay back!
1416
01:12:59,751 --> 01:13:01,251
Kathleen:
Zeke...
1417
01:13:02,587 --> 01:13:04,254
Romeo.
1418
01:13:06,674 --> 01:13:08,967
I'm so sorry.
You okay?
1419
01:13:09,135 --> 01:13:11,094
Now that's up to you.
1420
01:13:15,767 --> 01:13:19,186
I can't... I can't be queer.
1421
01:13:21,522 --> 01:13:24,274
- I'm sorry.
- Kathleen: It's okay, Zeke.
1422
01:13:24,442 --> 01:13:26,318
We love you.
We don't care that you're gay.
1423
01:13:26,486 --> 01:13:28,028
Dad does.
1424
01:13:28,196 --> 01:13:31,239
Okay?
My friends do.
1425
01:13:32,700 --> 01:13:34,868
I do.
1426
01:13:35,036 --> 01:13:37,913
I've been where you are, Zeke.
1427
01:13:39,707 --> 01:13:41,374
I am where you are.
1428
01:13:41,542 --> 01:13:43,043
You're gay, too?
1429
01:13:43,211 --> 01:13:45,212
No. No.
1430
01:13:45,379 --> 01:13:46,797
I...
1431
01:13:48,925 --> 01:13:52,552
I came here to do exactly what
you're thinking of doing right now.
1432
01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:54,971
I'm 41 years old,
I manage a pet store,
1433
01:13:55,139 --> 01:13:57,849
no wife, no kids.
1434
01:13:58,017 --> 01:14:00,352
- No anything.
- That's not the same.
1435
01:14:00,520 --> 01:14:02,020
Zeke!
1436
01:14:02,188 --> 01:14:04,648
You're right,
it's not the same.
1437
01:14:04,816 --> 01:14:06,316
You know who you are,
1438
01:14:06,484 --> 01:14:07,901
you just can't get
your head around it yet.
1439
01:14:08,069 --> 01:14:11,071
Me?
I don't have a clue.
1440
01:14:11,239 --> 01:14:13,740
- Fucking jump.
- What?
1441
01:14:13,908 --> 01:14:15,242
Romeo:
Go ahead.
1442
01:14:15,409 --> 01:14:17,828
Go ahead, fag, just jump.
1443
01:14:17,995 --> 01:14:21,164
I've never met two whinier bitches
in my entire life.
1444
01:14:21,332 --> 01:14:24,417
"I manage a pet store."
"I'm queer."
1445
01:14:24,585 --> 01:14:27,587
Who fucking cares?
1446
01:14:27,755 --> 01:14:29,422
I'm black, I'm gay.
1447
01:14:30,675 --> 01:14:32,235
My mom's got
a fucking drinking problem.
1448
01:14:32,385 --> 01:14:34,177
Had. Had a drinking problem.
1449
01:14:34,345 --> 01:14:35,762
I've been sober for two months.
1450
01:14:35,930 --> 01:14:38,098
I got my chip here somewhere.
1451
01:14:38,266 --> 01:14:39,826
I haven't seen my dad
since I was eight,
1452
01:14:39,934 --> 01:14:41,935
and my fucking name
is Romeo.
1453
01:14:42,103 --> 01:14:44,980
And I'm still more grateful
than y'all bitches.
1454
01:14:45,148 --> 01:14:47,858
You're gay, Zeke.
1455
01:14:48,025 --> 01:14:49,609
And I love you.
1456
01:14:49,777 --> 01:14:52,154
I love you.
1457
01:14:52,321 --> 01:14:54,030
So choosing a life of love
1458
01:14:54,198 --> 01:14:56,449
from the people
that actually fucking matter
1459
01:14:56,617 --> 01:15:00,495
and be an artist
because you're actually talented...
1460
01:15:02,165 --> 01:15:03,957
if that's unbearable to you,
then you should jump.
1461
01:15:04,125 --> 01:15:05,792
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay.
- Jump.
1462
01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:07,169
Lucky:
All right. Okay, okay.
1463
01:15:07,336 --> 01:15:10,172
Enough trying to convince
two people to kill themselves.
1464
01:15:11,632 --> 01:15:13,800
Zeke, it's your dad.
1465
01:15:13,968 --> 01:15:17,304
- I'm gay, Dad, not blind.
- Right.
1466
01:15:17,471 --> 01:15:20,348
You're my son and I love you.
1467
01:15:21,767 --> 01:15:25,979
I admit I'm not too crazy
about you liking men's penises,
1468
01:15:26,147 --> 01:15:27,939
but it's not a deal breaker.
1469
01:15:28,107 --> 01:15:31,651
Just 'cause I don't need
a drawing of a bowl full of 'em
1470
01:15:31,819 --> 01:15:33,028
hanging on my office wall...
1471
01:15:33,196 --> 01:15:35,071
Luck, stay on track.
1472
01:15:35,239 --> 01:15:37,282
Right.
1473
01:15:37,450 --> 01:15:40,202
- (Kathleen screams)
- Oh, no, no, no, son, don't, please.
1474
01:15:40,369 --> 01:15:41,995
Please.
1475
01:15:42,163 --> 01:15:44,915
I can't live like this, Dad.
1476
01:15:48,753 --> 01:15:51,171
Do you know how I got
my nickname?
1477
01:15:51,339 --> 01:15:52,756
What?
1478
01:15:52,924 --> 01:15:54,925
My nickname, Lucky.
1479
01:15:55,092 --> 01:15:56,509
You know how I got it?
1480
01:15:56,677 --> 01:15:57,761
From... what are you talking about?
1481
01:15:57,929 --> 01:16:00,513
From... from the miraculous catch
you made playing high school football?
1482
01:16:00,681 --> 01:16:01,761
What are you talking about?
1483
01:16:01,849 --> 01:16:04,517
That's what I told you,
but that's not...
1484
01:16:04,685 --> 01:16:06,061
that's not why.
1485
01:16:06,229 --> 01:16:08,188
I got it 'cause I'm unlucky.
1486
01:16:08,356 --> 01:16:10,065
I had no luck at all.
1487
01:16:10,233 --> 01:16:12,525
Unlucky was just too long.
1488
01:16:12,693 --> 01:16:15,153
We were learning about irony
in English class
1489
01:16:15,321 --> 01:16:16,863
and some smart-ass
shortened it.
1490
01:16:17,031 --> 01:16:19,032
We lost that game
1491
01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:21,701
'cause I fumbled
a couple of plays later.
1492
01:16:21,869 --> 01:16:25,455
Yeah. But, you know,
later when I got on the force
1493
01:16:25,623 --> 01:16:28,541
and I met your mother
and we had you and your brother,
1494
01:16:28,709 --> 01:16:30,710
I started to think that maybe...
1495
01:16:30,878 --> 01:16:32,545
my name wasn't so ironic.
1496
01:16:32,713 --> 01:16:34,673
What's your point?
1497
01:16:34,840 --> 01:16:37,217
When I was your age,
some shit happened to me, too.
1498
01:16:37,385 --> 01:16:38,593
Happens to all of us.
1499
01:16:38,761 --> 01:16:40,971
Doesn't mean you say "fuck it"
and kill yourself.
1500
01:16:41,138 --> 01:16:43,306
'Cause tomorrow's
totally different.
1501
01:16:43,474 --> 01:16:45,850
Shit's temporary, son.
1502
01:16:46,018 --> 01:16:49,729
I know I might not be
the easiest guy in the world to talk to.
1503
01:16:49,897 --> 01:16:53,066
I'm not a monster.
I still love you.
1504
01:16:53,234 --> 01:16:55,235
(crying)
1505
01:16:57,321 --> 01:17:00,240
I love this asshole.
I love all of you.
1506
01:17:00,408 --> 01:17:02,867
Zeke.
1507
01:17:03,035 --> 01:17:05,036
I'm sorry.
1508
01:17:05,204 --> 01:17:07,747
I know I haven't been
a very good mother.
1509
01:17:07,915 --> 01:17:11,126
I saw things,
I-I knew things,
1510
01:17:11,294 --> 01:17:13,837
I just...
I don't know why I...
1511
01:17:14,005 --> 01:17:15,839
You're a great mother,
Kathleen!
1512
01:17:16,007 --> 01:17:18,425
- You think so?
- Yes, I do.
1513
01:17:18,592 --> 01:17:20,093
And you're a good wife.
1514
01:17:24,515 --> 01:17:27,434
You can get through this, Zeke.
1515
01:17:27,601 --> 01:17:30,103
You have family
and friends that love you.
1516
01:17:30,271 --> 01:17:31,604
Come on,
let's get you home.
1517
01:17:31,772 --> 01:17:36,359
- Come on, honey.
- I don't know. I don't know.
1518
01:17:36,527 --> 01:17:38,194
- God, Zeke!
- Mom!
1519
01:17:38,362 --> 01:17:39,404
- (all scream)
- Shit!
1520
01:17:39,572 --> 01:17:41,031
- Ted: Zeke!
- Lucky: Zeke!
1521
01:17:41,198 --> 01:17:43,241
Kathleen:
Oh, my God!
1522
01:17:45,244 --> 01:17:48,079
- Lucky: Ted!
- Greta: Ted!
1523
01:17:48,247 --> 01:17:50,790
(Lucky screams)
1524
01:17:55,713 --> 01:17:57,130
(gasps)
1525
01:17:57,298 --> 01:18:00,133
Hey!
I got ya!
1526
01:18:00,301 --> 01:18:02,302
Hold on to me!
1527
01:18:02,470 --> 01:18:03,553
Where's Ted?
1528
01:18:03,721 --> 01:18:05,805
- Where's Uncle Ted?
- Ted! Ted!
1529
01:18:05,973 --> 01:18:08,391
Teddy! Teddy!
1530
01:18:24,825 --> 01:18:26,284
(man laughing)
1531
01:18:26,452 --> 01:18:28,203
Pretty cool, huh?
1532
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:34,918
- (chuckles)
- Dad?
1533
01:18:35,086 --> 01:18:36,294
Hi, Teddy.
1534
01:18:39,924 --> 01:18:43,176
- Am I dead?
- No, no, no, you're...
1535
01:18:43,344 --> 01:18:45,637
your brain is being deprived
of oxygen.
1536
01:18:45,805 --> 01:18:49,015
So I'm about to die,
I just haven't done it yet?
1537
01:18:49,183 --> 01:18:52,018
Depends.
Is that what you want?
1538
01:18:54,688 --> 01:18:57,232
I guess
1539
01:18:57,400 --> 01:18:58,858
death seems...
1540
01:18:59,026 --> 01:19:00,276
I don't know...
1541
01:19:00,444 --> 01:19:01,903
easier.
1542
01:19:02,071 --> 01:19:05,031
Not gonna lie to you,
death's got its perks,
1543
01:19:05,199 --> 01:19:06,866
but nothing beats livin'.
1544
01:19:07,034 --> 01:19:08,868
Nothin'.
1545
01:19:09,036 --> 01:19:11,955
- Can I stay with you?
- No, not yet.
1546
01:19:12,123 --> 01:19:13,540
Someday.
1547
01:19:13,707 --> 01:19:16,876
I'm afraid all the time, Daddy.
1548
01:19:17,044 --> 01:19:20,338
I know, but the trick
to beatin' fear...
1549
01:19:20,506 --> 01:19:23,883
is to live a life so full
there's no room for it.
1550
01:19:24,051 --> 01:19:26,469
Fear thrives in emptiness, son.
1551
01:19:26,637 --> 01:19:29,013
So just fill 'er up, Teddy.
1552
01:19:29,181 --> 01:19:30,640
I know you can do it.
1553
01:19:33,602 --> 01:19:35,437
Bye, Teddy bear.
1554
01:20:02,756 --> 01:20:05,550
(roars)
1555
01:20:38,250 --> 01:20:41,586
- Is my baby brother okay?
- All right, just stand back, Chief.
1556
01:20:41,754 --> 01:20:44,589
Zeke.
1557
01:20:44,757 --> 01:20:47,759
- There's no pulse.
- Ah, come on, Ted!
1558
01:20:47,927 --> 01:20:51,221
Oh, you took my daddy,
you can't take my little brother, too.
1559
01:20:51,388 --> 01:20:52,555
Ted.
1560
01:20:52,723 --> 01:20:55,391
Oh, God.
Can you hear me? Ted?
1561
01:20:55,559 --> 01:20:58,811
No, you can't leave.
You cannot leave.
1562
01:21:00,981 --> 01:21:03,399
I'm so sorry
that I got angry at you before.
1563
01:21:03,567 --> 01:21:05,568
I'm sorry
that I said those things.
1564
01:21:05,736 --> 01:21:07,237
The real reason
that I don't have a boyfriend
1565
01:21:07,404 --> 01:21:09,948
is that I don't...
I don't trust anyone to stick around
1566
01:21:10,115 --> 01:21:12,784
and I can't take people
leaving me anymore,
1567
01:21:12,952 --> 01:21:15,495
so I need you to stay.
1568
01:21:15,663 --> 01:21:17,830
Please,
I need to think that
1569
01:21:17,998 --> 01:21:21,334
I'm worth somebody
sticking around for.
1570
01:21:24,004 --> 01:21:25,004
(coughing)
1571
01:21:25,172 --> 01:21:27,632
- Oh, Ted!
- Hey, Ted, it's me.
1572
01:21:27,800 --> 01:21:30,260
- Your brother, Luck.
- (coughing)
1573
01:21:30,427 --> 01:21:32,262
I love you, man.
Say something.
1574
01:21:32,429 --> 01:21:35,848
I saw... Dad.
1575
01:21:37,935 --> 01:21:39,644
And Wammy.
1576
01:21:39,812 --> 01:21:41,145
Oh, my God!
1577
01:21:41,313 --> 01:21:43,773
He was under too long.
He's fucking retarded now!
1578
01:21:43,941 --> 01:21:46,401
Lucky, honey,
I'm sure he's just woozy is all.
1579
01:21:46,569 --> 01:21:48,278
Daddy...
1580
01:21:49,947 --> 01:21:51,823
and Wammy.
1581
01:21:51,991 --> 01:21:54,701
No, no,
that's full-on retard.
1582
01:21:54,868 --> 01:21:57,537
But it's okay!
I still love you, man.
1583
01:21:57,705 --> 01:21:59,163
You're my baby brother.
1584
01:21:59,331 --> 01:22:01,833
We're gonna get the best
retard specialist in the world.
1585
01:22:02,001 --> 01:22:04,081
We'll probably have to build
some ramps or something.
1586
01:22:04,211 --> 01:22:05,545
But it's okay!
It's okay.
1587
01:22:05,713 --> 01:22:07,380
Nothing's too good
for my baby brother.
1588
01:22:07,548 --> 01:22:09,799
- Uh, Chief?
- Huh?
1589
01:22:09,967 --> 01:22:12,760
I find the word "retarded" offensive.
My sister's mentally challenged.
1590
01:22:12,928 --> 01:22:14,304
Oh, yeah, Kevin,
1591
01:22:14,471 --> 01:22:17,682
you're gonna turn this
into a dick measuring contest now?
1592
01:22:17,850 --> 01:22:19,475
(grunting)
1593
01:22:19,643 --> 01:22:22,228
I'm offended, Kevin.
1594
01:22:24,481 --> 01:22:25,961
Ted: He didn't break
any bones either?
1595
01:22:26,108 --> 01:22:27,900
Lucky: It was the way
we hit the water.
1596
01:22:28,068 --> 01:22:29,902
It was a little more
than a 100-foot drop.
1597
01:22:30,070 --> 01:22:32,488
I penciled, went right down
about 20 feet.
1598
01:22:32,656 --> 01:22:34,574
Popped right back up.
There he was.
1599
01:22:34,742 --> 01:22:35,867
You kinda...
(chuckles)
1600
01:22:36,035 --> 01:22:37,869
half penciled,
half belly flopped.
1601
01:22:38,037 --> 01:22:39,954
Knocked the wind right outta you.
1602
01:22:40,122 --> 01:22:43,374
But the fact that you got knocked out
probably saved your life.
1603
01:22:45,002 --> 01:22:47,503
You were so very brave, Teddy.
1604
01:22:47,671 --> 01:22:51,591
Jumping in after Zeke
the way you did...
1605
01:22:51,759 --> 01:22:54,218
and being
such a terrible swimmer
1606
01:22:54,386 --> 01:22:57,096
- and so afraid of heights.
- Yeah, I know.
1607
01:22:57,264 --> 01:23:00,725
You know, I never bragged much
about you two growing up,
1608
01:23:00,893 --> 01:23:01,934
but I want to do it now
1609
01:23:02,102 --> 01:23:07,649
because I am so very proud
of both of you.
1610
01:23:07,816 --> 01:23:10,026
So proud of you.
(kisses)
1611
01:23:10,194 --> 01:23:11,194
Thanks, Mom.
1612
01:23:11,362 --> 01:23:14,030
Okay, Teddy, we gotta go.
1613
01:23:14,198 --> 01:23:16,157
I gotta go see
the hospital psychologist.
1614
01:23:16,325 --> 01:23:17,784
Sensitivity training,
1615
01:23:17,951 --> 01:23:19,786
dealing with Zeke's,
you know...
1616
01:23:22,122 --> 01:23:24,457
And I'll see you tomorrow
when you're discharged, okay?
1617
01:23:25,834 --> 01:23:28,670
- I love you, bro.
- Love you, too, Luck.
1618
01:23:29,880 --> 01:23:32,465
- Come on, Mom.
- I'll be back.
1619
01:23:33,842 --> 01:23:35,301
(clicks tongue)
Ted.
1620
01:23:40,974 --> 01:23:43,309
Hi.
1621
01:23:43,477 --> 01:23:44,811
Hi.
1622
01:23:46,980 --> 01:23:50,733
♪ The scenery's changin' ♪
1623
01:23:50,901 --> 01:23:53,569
♪ And it warms my soul... ♪
1624
01:23:53,737 --> 01:23:55,113
Thanks for staying.
1625
01:23:55,280 --> 01:23:57,573
♪ I'm 200 miles down... ♪
1626
01:23:57,741 --> 01:23:59,659
I was gonna say
the same thing to you.
1627
01:23:59,827 --> 01:24:01,828
(laughs)
1628
01:24:01,995 --> 01:24:05,373
♪ So get your boots on ♪
1629
01:24:05,541 --> 01:24:09,711
♪ And your walking coat ♪
1630
01:24:09,878 --> 01:24:12,046
♪ And we'll together
leave our footprints ♪
1631
01:24:12,214 --> 01:24:16,801
- ♪ Out upon the virgin snow... ♪
- (cheering)
1632
01:24:16,969 --> 01:24:20,138
♪ That ancient sunrise ♪
1633
01:24:20,305 --> 01:24:24,350
- ♪ Will soon descend... ♪
- Let's go.
1634
01:24:24,518 --> 01:24:26,799
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- ♪ And we'll be left here pondering ♪
1635
01:24:26,854 --> 01:24:29,647
♪ On the things
which we can depend ♪
1636
01:24:31,692 --> 01:24:35,153
♪ So let's start over ♪
1637
01:24:35,320 --> 01:24:39,282
♪ With no means to an end ♪
1638
01:24:39,450 --> 01:24:41,325
♪ Just an openhearted hope ♪
1639
01:24:41,493 --> 01:24:44,912
♪ And a closed hand
full of friends ♪
1640
01:24:48,751 --> 01:24:52,545
♪ Yeah, well, London was all right,
but I was dead in the water ♪
1641
01:24:52,713 --> 01:24:56,507
♪ Couldn't see it in its light,
I couldn't kneel in its altar ♪
1642
01:24:56,675 --> 01:25:01,262
♪ All I wanted was to tear it
right down to the ground ♪
1643
01:25:01,430 --> 01:25:04,932
♪ But I'm feeling all right now ♪
1644
01:25:05,100 --> 01:25:09,771
♪ Yeah, I'm feeling all right ♪
1645
01:25:13,984 --> 01:25:17,069
♪ Every morning ♪
1646
01:25:17,237 --> 01:25:21,240
♪ When the coffee's on ♪
1647
01:25:21,408 --> 01:25:24,744
♪ And I rediscover
that color in your eyes ♪
1648
01:25:24,912 --> 01:25:28,372
♪ In its gold and its bronze ♪
1649
01:25:28,540 --> 01:25:31,709
♪ And in the moonlight ♪
1650
01:25:31,877 --> 01:25:35,004
♪ We'll get the candles going... ♪
1651
01:25:36,507 --> 01:25:38,508
Ted's voice:
Emerson said it best.
1652
01:25:38,675 --> 01:25:41,385
"When it's darkest,
we can see the stars.
1653
01:25:41,553 --> 01:25:42,929
They're always there.
1654
01:25:43,096 --> 01:25:45,932
You just gotta remember
to tip your head back and look up."
1655
01:25:58,946 --> 01:26:01,823
(music playing)
1656
01:26:01,990 --> 01:26:04,450
(vocalizing)
1657
01:26:11,708 --> 01:26:14,293
♪ I'll tell you why,
'cause I don't know why ♪
1658
01:26:14,461 --> 01:26:16,963
♪ But I can tell you
how it went ♪
1659
01:26:17,130 --> 01:26:19,674
♪ There's a time,
there was a point in time ♪
1660
01:26:19,842 --> 01:26:22,343
♪ When we just stopped
listening ♪
1661
01:26:22,511 --> 01:26:24,971
♪ There's a ghost
and it haunts this town ♪
1662
01:26:25,138 --> 01:26:27,598
♪ Yeah, it haunts it
up and down ♪
1663
01:26:27,766 --> 01:26:30,393
♪ You're a mess,
yeah, you're a fucking mess ♪
1664
01:26:30,561 --> 01:26:33,145
♪ If you don't know that
by now ♪
1665
01:26:33,313 --> 01:26:35,648
♪ You don't
know that by now ♪
1666
01:26:40,821 --> 01:26:45,908
♪ Still in love with the turn
of your phrase ♪
1667
01:26:46,076 --> 01:26:48,828
♪ You're still the sound
that makes sense ♪
1668
01:26:48,996 --> 01:26:51,247
♪ Through these years ♪
1669
01:26:51,415 --> 01:26:56,502
♪ I don't want you to ask
how I am ♪
1670
01:26:56,670 --> 01:27:01,549
♪ I just wanted you
to tell me it's okay ♪
1671
01:27:03,510 --> 01:27:05,511
(vocalizing)
1672
01:27:13,186 --> 01:27:15,730
♪ You can fight,
but can you fight yourself? ♪
1673
01:27:15,898 --> 01:27:18,274
♪ 'Cause you're busy,
can't you see? ♪
1674
01:27:18,442 --> 01:27:20,902
♪ If it's a heart
you've been looking for ♪
1675
01:27:21,069 --> 01:27:23,654
♪ Well, you won't get that
from me ♪
1676
01:27:23,822 --> 01:27:26,282
♪ You alone?
Because you look alone ♪
1677
01:27:26,450 --> 01:27:28,951
♪ 'Cause you're sitting
on your own ♪
1678
01:27:29,119 --> 01:27:31,537
♪ Are you alive?
Well, you look alive ♪
1679
01:27:31,705 --> 01:27:34,373
♪ And will you just
pick up the phone? ♪
1680
01:27:34,541 --> 01:27:37,043
♪ Will you just pick up
the phone? ♪
1681
01:27:42,174 --> 01:27:47,178
♪ Still in love
with the turn of your phrase ♪
1682
01:27:47,346 --> 01:27:49,972
♪ You're still the sound
that makes sense ♪
1683
01:27:50,140 --> 01:27:52,767
♪ Through these years ♪
1684
01:27:52,935 --> 01:27:57,897
♪ I don't want you to ask
how I am ♪
1685
01:27:58,065 --> 01:28:02,193
♪ I just wanted you
to tell me it's okay ♪
1686
01:28:03,487 --> 01:28:08,449
♪ Still in love
with the turn of your phrase ♪
1687
01:28:08,617 --> 01:28:11,243
♪ You're still the sound
that makes sense ♪
1688
01:28:11,411 --> 01:28:14,080
♪ Through these years ♪
1689
01:28:14,247 --> 01:28:19,418
♪ I don't want you to ask
how I am ♪
1690
01:28:19,586 --> 01:28:23,339
♪ I just wanted you
to tell me it's okay ♪
1691
01:28:24,758 --> 01:28:29,804
♪ Still in love
with the turn of your phrase ♪
1692
01:28:29,972 --> 01:28:32,556
♪ You're still the sound
that makes sense ♪
1693
01:28:32,724 --> 01:28:35,393
♪ Through these years ♪
1694
01:28:35,560 --> 01:28:40,690
♪ I don't want you to ask
how I am ♪
1695
01:28:40,857 --> 01:28:44,443
♪ I just wanted you
to tell me it's okay. ♪
1696
01:28:44,611 --> 01:28:46,737
(vocalizing)
1697
01:29:10,762 --> 01:29:13,764
(music playing)
1698
01:29:21,189 --> 01:29:26,235
♪ Love me tender,
love me sweet ♪
1699
01:29:26,403 --> 01:29:30,031
♪ Never let me go ♪
1700
01:29:31,783 --> 01:29:36,996
♪ You have made my life
complete ♪
1701
01:29:37,164 --> 01:29:41,167
♪ And I love you so ♪
1702
01:29:42,461 --> 01:29:47,465
♪ Love me tender,
love me true ♪
1703
01:29:47,632 --> 01:29:51,302
♪ All my dreams fulfilled ♪
1704
01:29:52,846 --> 01:29:57,767
♪ For, my darling,
I love you ♪
1705
01:29:57,934 --> 01:30:01,729
♪ And I always will ♪
1706
01:30:03,356 --> 01:30:08,527
♪ When at last
my dreams come true ♪
1707
01:30:08,695 --> 01:30:12,239
♪ Darling, this I know ♪
1708
01:30:14,117 --> 01:30:19,080
♪ Happiness will follow you ♪
1709
01:30:19,247 --> 01:30:23,459
♪ Just before I go. ♪
1709
01:30:24,305 --> 01:30:30,465
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