Original subtitles

Hey, Freddie boy, let's go. We'll be late for work.

Coming.

- Have a good day, Fred. - Farewell! Farewell!

Hey, hurry up with your bath, Fred. There's somebody waiting to use the tub.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern stone age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Let's ride with the family down the street

Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪

♪ A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪♪

Taking good care of Pebbles, Dino?

Oh, that's nice.

- Hi, Wilma. - Hi, Betty.

Hi, Pebbles. Hi, Dino.

Say, that looks like fun.

Wilma, I've just decided.

Fine. Decided what?

To get a new chair for Barney.

Oh?

I didn't know he needed one.

You know how he's always complaining

about how uncomfortable he gets watching TV.

So I thought, why not get him a nice easy chair for a surprise?

- Aren't they pretty expensive? - Sort of. That's why I came over.

I brought the want ads. I thought you could help me look for a part-time job.

You look in that section. I'll look in this.

All right.

Well, here's one.

"Wanted: ticket taker for Roller Rock Derby. Apply manager."

Oh, good. Let's see.

Oh, no, I can't apply for that.

Why not? It sounds easy.

But it's at night.

This has to be during the day while Barney's at work.

Wack wack, wack wack, Dino. Wack wack.

You gonna keep this a secret from Barney?

Well, of course. I...

Oh, Wilma, look at Pebbles and Dino.

Isn't that cute?

Wack wack, wack wack.

"Wack wack," that's her word for rocking chair.

That gives me an idea.

I won't get Barney an easy chair, I'll get him a rocker.

- Well, why not let Barney pay for it? - No. I want it to be a surprise.

Oh. I guess you're right.

- Hmm. - Find something interesting?

Well, sort of.

"Wanted: kindly elderly lady for easy work. No experience necessary.

Daytime only. Good pay."

Too bad you're not an old lady.

Eh? What's that? You'll have to speak up, miss.

My hearing isn't what it used to be.

Why, that's wonderful!

Not bad, huh?

If they never had to see you, it would be perfect.

Wait a second! Come in the house. I've got an idea.

What do you have in mind?

I'll show you in a minute. Take good care of Pebbles, Dino.

Remember last Halloween? I was going to dress up like a witch.

Ha, ha! Well, try this wig on.

All right.

- How's that? - That makes a big difference.

Here, now put this shawl around you.

And I've got some eyeglasses some place.

Oh, yes, here they are. Let's see, anything else?

Betty, is that really you?

I'm sorry, dearie, she just left.

Wonderful! Here, just one more thing, this old umbrella.

Thank you kindly, miss.

Oh! Betty, it's perfect.

Oh, gosh. That must be Fred and Barney.

Thanks for the lift, Barney boy.

You are welcome, Fred. See you later.

I might as well find out right now how good I am at fooling people.

Gosh, I...

Hiya, sweetheart. I'm home.

Oh, excuse me. Company?

Eh, uh... Yes. It's...

Hello there, sonny. I'm Mrs. Old Lady.

Mrs. Old Lady? Glad to meet you.

- Fred? - Yeah?

- Betty over there? - No.

Well, I better be on my way.

Nice to see you, sonny. Good bye, Wilma.

Good bye.

Hold it! Hold it!

Allow me, ma'am.

How nice.

You sure you haven't seen Betty?

Oh, um, uh...

Maybe she's out shopping, Barney.

Oh, excuse me. Company?

Just leaving, young fellow.

Yeah, Barney. This is a friend of Wilma's, Mrs. Old Lady.

Barney Rubble at your service.

Say, you remind me of somebody. Now, who could it be?

Oh, I got it! My mother-in-law. Right, Fred?

Say, that's right.

That's very nice of you to say that.

What an old battle-ax she is. Right, Freddie?

Ha, ha! You ain't kidding.

Oh, excuse me, sonny, my umbrella slipped.

Nice old lady.

Packs a real wallop too, Barn.

That'll teach him to talk about my mother like that.

I better get home and get out of this disguise.

"Old battle-ax," huh?

Hi, Betty. You're home.

Oh! Oh, ahem.

Yes.

Say, you meet that nice little old lady at the Flintstones'?

Um, no.

Funny thing. She reminds me of your mother.

Oh, so you said.

Yeah, I did? When?

I mean, does she?

Yeah. Does she what?

Remind you of my mother?

Didn't I say so?

Oh, oh, oh. "What a battle-ax she is. Right, Freddie?"

Oh, honey, you hadn't ought to talk that way about your own mother.

I'm going next door for a minute. Keep an eye on Pebbles, Dino.

Hi, Betty. I just came over to wish you luck.

Thanks, Wilma. The appointment is for 9:00 sharp.

How do I look?

I mean, how do I look, dearie?

Just like Barney's mother-in-law.

Why couldn't the ad have called for a kindly young woman?

A few days of walking like this and I won't be able to straighten up.

"185." This is it.

Well, good luck to me.

Yeah?

How do you do? I'm the one who called about your ad.

Come in.

Miss Greta Gravel will see you in the study.

Thank you kindly.

Yes?

Hello there, ma'am. About the ad, did you...?

Oh, you look like a nice, kind, little old lady.

That's me. I mean, yes, indeedy.

What's your name?

Uh... Miss Rubble.

A maiden lady?

Yes, but I'm still looking.

And a sense of humor too. Oh, my, I do like a sense of humor.

You can see I can't get around too good.

I need somebody to do my shopping and run little errands for me.

- But the man who let me in... - My butler?

Yes, well, I could send him,

but I don't like being left alone in the house.

Of course.

I think you'll do fine.

Here, dearie, you take this and go down to the supermarket

and get me a loaf of whole-rock bread.

A $100 bill?

Yes. Bring me back the change.

Of course. But is that all, just a loaf of bread?

Well, I'll be thinking while you're gone.

Now run along, dearie.

$99, $99.50, 60, 70.

Oh, and here's the bread.

My, how quick you were, dearie.

Now, I'm all out of toothpaste.

Will you get me a tube, small size? And bring back the change.

Another $100 bill?

Oh, I hate small change.

Be sure it's the kind with fluoristone.

Here's your change from the toothpaste.

Thank ye.

Now, I have one last little errand for you today, Miss Rubble.

Here's another $100 bill.

Take this letter to the post office and mail it and bring back the change.

- Air mail? - No, no, regular.

We don't want to be throwing money away, do we?

$400?

And all you bought was a stamp, a loaf of bread and a tube of toothpaste?

- Isn't that kind of strange, Betty? - I suppose.

But you know how some old ladies are, kind of set in their ways.

Yes, I guess so.

Oh, dear.

That happens every time I try to hang a picture.

I know. They don't build houses like they used to.

Anyway, it's her money, and the work is easy.

And you know something?

It's fun carrying all that money around, even if it's not mine.

It makes me feel rich.

I can imagine.

There. No one will know I goofed.

You're so artistic.

$398.65.

Gotta hand it to you, doll face.

This is the smoothest con game I ever saw.

And the best part of it is,

she doesn't suspect a thing.

Oh, boy, it feels good to stand up.

That chair was killing me.

How long before we can shake this burg, Stony?

Tomorrow you keep the old dame on $100 bills.

The next day we'll try out the $500s.

If they go, we'll start on the $1000 bills.

Let's see how our crew is doing.

Yeah, we ought to clear $50,000 in good money in a couple of weeks.

Keep the presses rolling.

Now, that's what I call a production line, Stony.

They're still working on $100 bills.

Yikes.

Watch it, Charlie. Wait for the bell.

Hey, Barn, you going to work today or not? We're late.

Be right there.

- Have a good day, Betty. - You too, Barney. See you tonight.

- Hiya, Wilma. - Morning, Barney. Nice day, isn't it?

Gosh, Wilma, I thought Barney'd never leave. Do me a favor, will you?

- Sure. - Stay here outside.

And keep your eye on Barney. I'll get my disguise on.

Uh-oh.

- Now what? - Forgot my car keys.

- Be right back. - Oh, boy.

Uh-oh. He's coming back.

Good morning, Barney. Nice day, isn't it?

- Didn't we just go through this? - You're a real early bird, Barney.

And it's the early bird that catches the worm, isn't it?

Why would I want to go around catching worms?

You certainly look wide awake, Barney.

Well, so do you, Wilma.

Oh, gosh, I wonder what Barney forgot.

What did you forget, Barney?

- I forgot my car keys! - Your what?

What's all the screaming for?

Who's...? Um.

Who's screaming?

- You forgot your car keys, Barney. - Thanks.

See you later.

Uh, say, Betty, since when do you wear glasses?

Glasses? Who, me? Oh, ha, ha.

I put them there to keep them out of the way.

- Out of the way of what? - Um...

So I wouldn't step on them.

They belong to the plumber.

- What plumber? - The one who was here yesterday.

Here? What for?

Uh... He was taking a survey.

He wanted to know what kind of water we used.

Barney, come on! Let's go. We're late.

Sure, Fred, sure!

I'll see you later. I guess.

Oh, boy! That was close.

Too close. I'm glad I don't have to keep this up much longer.

I'll have enough money for his rocking chair by the end of the week,

or my name isn't Miss Old Lady.

Say, Fred, what kind of water do you use?

What kind of water do I use?

There's only one kind, stupid. Wet!

Now step on it. We're late enough as it is.

What a day I put in today.

Seems like she sent me all over town.

And on top of that I still have to get Barney's dinner.

Oh, here he comes now.

- Hi, dear. You're getting home early. - Yeah, not much...

What did you say?

I said, hello, sonny. What's on your mind, sonny?

Ooh, uh.

I just thought I heard my wife.

You must be hearing things, sonny.

Yeah, I must be. So long.

Oh, dear. I've got to get into the house before he does,

and get out of this disguise.

Betty, I'm home.

Betty, where are you?

In the closet.

In the closet? What are you doing in there?

Nothing.

Mind if I join you?

Oh, don't be silly.

Oh, fine. You're standing in the closet, and I'm silly.

Sit down and relax while I fix dinner.

This just isn't one of my days.

Oh, boy, I thought he had me that time.

Barney is harder to fool than that nice old lady I'm working for.

Busy, busy, busy, aren't we?

Maybe when this is all over, I'll apply for an acting job on TV.

Hello out there in TV land.

This is Old Lady Betty, bringing...

Were you calling me, Betty?

No, I wasn't, sonny, but... But...

I must have picked up a cough somewhere.

You picked up a cough, and I'm starting to hear things.

Hey, maybe we better call Doc Boulder Dome.

Oh, Betty, I look awful.

Nonsense, dear, you'll be fine.

Just as soon as I get you your new...

Get me my new what?

Dinner. That's it. It'll be ready in a jiffy.

My new dinner?

That's what I mean. Nothing makes sense anymore.

You've done just fine, dearie. My, I'm so pleased with you.

Thank you, Miss Gravel.

And to show you how much I trust you,

here's a $1000 bill.

I'm all out of $500s. Isn't that terrible?

Uh... Yes. No!

And now then, your first errand today is to run down

to the Bedrock Department Store and get me a package of hairpins.

Hairpins? Why can't I get all the things you need in one trip?

I mean, when I keep coming back

and getting more money and going back out...

Now, now, you'll have to allow an old lady to have her way.

I'm eccentric, you know.

Oh, yes, of course.

Bye-bye. Hurry back with the change.

Okay, Stony, she's gone.

She had me worried there for a minute, doll.

Her? Ha!

It's a shame we can't take her with us when we blow this burg.

Yes, she's the best front we ever had.

- Hi, Barney. - Hi, there.

Oh, good. Just in time for the news.

And now for the local news.

The Bedrock Police announced this afternoon

that a ring of counterfeiters is operating in the Bedrock area.

A number of $100 and $500 bills have been passed at local stores

and several $1000 bills have been passed.

The only clue police have is the description of a kindly old lady

who has been in every store.

Police are now searching for this little old lady.

Hey, what's the matter?

I need air.

Anyone seeing this lady will please contact the police department.

What's the matter with you?

I need some air.

You heard?

Yes. Oh, you poor dear.

Oh, Wilma, what am I going to do?

I don't know.

All right, all right. What's going on?

Yeah, that's what I want to know. What's all the crying for?

I knew it. Something's going on. I want to know what it is.

Hold it. Let me handle this. Now, girls, whatever it is...

Uh, what is it?

Oh, swell. You handled it just great, Freddie boy.

One more crack out of you, Barney, and there'll be a new moon shot tonight.

- Now, Wilma. - Yes, Fred?

What is going on?

We might as well tell them.

Yes. They'll find out when I'm in jail anyway.

Wa... Wa... What?

All I wanted to do was buy you a rocking chair.

So I answered this ad in the newspaper.

And that's the whole story.

How did I know the money was counterfeit?

- Oh, boy! - You can say that again.

- Oh, boy! - Barney, dear, will you wait for me?

Why? Where are you going?

While I'm in prison. Will you wait for me?

Well, depends how long you're gonna...

- I mean, sure I'll wait. - Oh, Barney.

What's all this talk about prison?

- You think they'll let her go? - Certainly.

Especially when she helps trap the crooks.

Huh?

What would you people do without me around?

Now here's what we'll do.

Betty shows up tomorrow like nothing happened.

They give her some more counterfeit dough, she gives it to me.

I take it to the cops, and we got the evidence.

Why, I wouldn't be surprised if I wind up with a big fat reward.

You? It's my wife.

Well, it's my idea, so we split 50-50.

This is the place.

Now remember, Betty.

You get the phony money and bring it back to me.

Gee, I'm a little nervous.

You got nothing to worry about. Me and Fred'll be here all the time.

- Right, Fred? - You bet.

If they try anything, you just yell out. Me and Barney will run for help.

Oh, fine. Gee, you don't know how much better I feel.

Hello. Miss Old Lady reporting for work.

Just a minute.

Get your stuff on, it's the old gal.

Send her away. We gotta pack and I am out of here.

Use your head, doll. The cops are on to us.

We gotta throw them off the trail, so we give the old girl a good bill.

One of the $20s.

And by the time they get around to us, we'll be gone with the loot.

It's perfect.

Let her in, dearie.

I hope Betty's all right.

Me too.

- Here she comes. - I got it! I got it! I got it!

Great. Now hop in, let's get to the police station and get my reward.

Now, let me get this straight.

You say you're the little old lady we've been looking for.

- And this bill, it's a counterfeit $20? - You bet your life it's counterfeit.

You keep out of this, fatso.

Lady, I never argue with women, but you are out of your pretty little head.

I am not.

You got that dog on a leash?

- What's that got to do with it? - City ordinance. $10 fine.

Listen, we're talking about counterfeiters.

And I'm talking about screwballs.

You got any idea how many crackpots come in to confess some crime?

Why don't you go on home, please?

- But what about the counterfeit bill? - Oh, yeah, the bill.

Here you are, lady. It's good. Do you understand?

Now on your way before I run you in for letting your animal out without a leash.

- What do we do now, Fred? - I don't know, I...

What are you doing?

- This your car? - Yeah. What's the idea of the ticket?

- Parked by a fire plug. - Fire plug! Oh, yeah.

Gosh, officer, you see...

Just what do you think would happen if we had a fire?

What fires? The whole town's made of rock.

- The end of a perfect day. - Fred, where are you going?

If we can't get the police to believe us, maybe they'll believe the crooks.

Hey, hey, that's my motorcycle.

Help, police!

What am I saying? I'm a policeman.

Looks like I got the whole police force after me.

Oh, boy, this idea had better work.

I hope the counterfeiters are still here.

All right, you're all under arrest!

- There he is, boys. - Grab him.

Wait. You don't understand!

This is where the counterfeiters are.

That's why I took your motorcycle, so you'd follow me.

Sure, sure. And where are the counterfeiters?

- Well, they were here an hour ago. - Uh-uh.

I like the one about Little Red Rockinghood better.

You really did it, buster.

- Disturbing the peace. - Oh, boy.

Stealing and destroying city property.

Come on, Clancy, we can write all this up down at the station.

Hey!

Let's go, Stony. We gotta take it on the I am.

Yeah, we really made a haul this time, doll face.

Well, well, our old friends, Stony Mahoney and Greta Gravel.

You got nothing on us, copper.

It's all his fault. He forced me into a life of crime.

Okay, you can tell it to the DA.

- Like it, Barney? - Great.

I look like Rock Whistler's mother. Right, Fred?

More like his grandfather.

But how did you get it, Betty?

You hadn't saved up enough yet and there wasn't any reward.

Remember the $20 the crooks gave me? Well, that was real.

And it was just enough so I could buy the chair.

But I'm through answering want ads.

Oh, that's a relief.

Now I'm going to write a book.

You're going to write a book?

Uh-huh! A book.

I Was An Old Lady Counterfeiter.

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern stone age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Someday, maybe Fred will win the fight Then that cat will stay out for the night ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪

♪ A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪♪

Wilma.