Original subtitles

As you know you undress me.

I undress you, I will undress you.

I will undress you, you'll undress me.

I will undress you, you'll undress me.

For a virgin.

For a virgin.

For a virgin to have sex.

For a virgin to have sex to her it's.

why the hell do you it's a extra lubricant

lubricant.

you see how this looks, right ?

I'm sorry, morning tutors rush again, it's starting a little earlier.

How early?

Five minutes.

We'll be at the house in two minutes.

Tell me five fucking minutes.

I will never say it.

Why aren't you downstairs at your station?

I'm not.

Break it.

Let's go.

Car, car, car.

Big phone call to 87099.

Really?

Really?

I'm down the driveway.

There he is.

All right.

He's not getting out of the car.

Mitchell, they have a camera, too.

Come on.

Is this the Marine?

Yeah.

Get your positions.

Hey, what's up?

Hey, how are you today?

Come on in.

I just gotta put some stuff in the wash real quick.

Okay.

I made some cookies out of the counter.

They're sweet tea too.

I'm excited by the way.

Okay.

Thank you.

Are you sure your parents are at home?

I'm sure.

Did you bring any beer?

You say you baked these?

Yeah.

Did you bring any of that stuff we talked about?

Yeah, I have a bunch of beer in the car.

But I brought the car notes.

Big night plan.

How you doing?

Good.

Who are you?

Grab that.

You should have a seat right there.

I'm just here to meet her.

Who?

Your daughter.

My daughter?

Who makes you think it's my daughter?

Please, sir.

I'm divorced.

I just got divorced.

I will undress you.

And you will undress me.

For a virgin to have sex, it hurts.

I need that reason.

Why, why, why?

It's an extra.

It's an extra.

I have a little girl at home.

She sent me over to her here.

To the house of a 13-year-old girl.

I was just talking.

It's just Chad.

It's not just Chad, though, is it?

You see how this looks, right?

What would have happened if I was Chad?

I don't want any of this for you.

But at the end of the day, a man must be held accountable for the decisions he makes.

Don't you agree?

I'm glad.

What do you think should have happened to you?

I didn't let it turn to him.

He said I wasn't going to let it happen to me.

That's not up to me.

You're ready to go, man.

Do you want to tell me?

Well, there's something you should know.

I'm Chris Hansen, with Dayline NBC.

And we're doing a story on adults who try to make teens online.

Please don't do this.

Don't do this, please.

Please, please.

I never said she was going to make it.

You don't know which segments will air.

And I'm going to need to ask you to leave.

Okay, let's do that.

State your name.

Okay.

Uh, hello.

My name is Dan Plum.

I'm...

Directly to camera.

To camera.

Go.

Take two.

Take two.

Okay.

Hello.

My name is Dan Plum.

I'm non-union, and I'm not currently represented at this time.

Although it's mentioned on my resume, I'd like to highlight I recently completed a commercial.

Or a national commercial, rather, for Toys R Us.

Which was originally a background part, but became a speaking part.

So I'm very excited about that.

525,600 minutes.

525,000 moments so dear.

525,600 minutes.

How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylight...

Okay, that's enough.

Do you know what you're auditioning for?

Is it the speaking part?

Speaking part?

Five freaking grand per shoot.

For, like, three shoots?

Five grand?

That's crazy.

But there's no, like, scene or anything?

I don't, I think it's largely improvisational.

The face, you just put your jaw forward.

Can you do it now?

Oh, yeah.

Would you?

I thank God every single day for Inside the Actors Studio.

It made me realize that what we do is a craft.

Like whittling, or surgery.

Wait, so what's the type of role?

You call him a child?

Could be, he's young, he's 13.

That's good.

Sorry, you didn't even care to know.

How do you produce the voice?

It comes out.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey.

Oh my gosh, hey.

It's so good to see you.

I like soccer.

I'm a soccer player.

Does it sound like I'm strained, or does that feel like a loop?

We really do have to pin down that.

If you want to do this part justice, you've got to have your body looking right.

You need to stay in your lane, okay?

What do you mean, what's my lane?

Like, nubile.

Hairless.

Boy-man.

I don't think that's it.

That's you, man.

That's your lane.

Hey.

Hey.

Yeah, it's you.

Chris Hammond, right?

Yes.

I knew it.

Thank you.

They double booked me.

I started racing hell, and they changed to a first class ticket.

Now, who am I to turn down three Skybarks?

Lucky you.

It is so cool to meet a real celebrity.

What you're doing matters.

Like, really fucking matters.

Thank you so much.

I appreciate that.

I hope they're treating you right.

I hope you're making a billion dollars a year.

I hope they're giving you everything you want.

Cheers.

Cheers.

You know, at first, no one at the network wanted to listen to us.

And they said, how do I promote this?

How do I promote this?

And I went to the network, and I said, I'll tell you how to promote it.

There's a man with his penis in his hand.

And he's on your porch.

And he wants to stick it in your daughter.

Tonight, I'm going to tell you how to make that not happen.

Right?

Yes.

And they just said, okay.

Greenlit.

That's what it's about, right?

It is.

That's the entertainment industry.

You gotta tell them how to sell it.

It's not just about making a show.

Chris, if I was you, I'd just fucking kill those guys.

Beat the living shit out of them.

Bare hands.

I don't think that would fly on NBC.

Don't you ever just want to bleed them?

Well, I think.

Maybe what I do is a little worse.

All right, then.

Don't lose it!

Iraq veterans, all apologies now.

But this is the same man saying things to a girl he thought was 13.

Look, we can take a shower together.

I will undress you, and you will undress me, okay?

Little did he know, he was chatting with an adult man.

Xavier Von Erg, the co-founder of the vigilante group Perverted Justice, whose mission is exposing internet predators.

I just gotta go floss.

I have something stuck in my teeth.

This is Del Harvey, one of our decoys.

She can act like a teensy 13-year-old girl.

You're so funny.

Or she can put a ball cap on and pose as a boy.

Do you know the thing about skateboarding?

I just whacked my toe on the master.

I'll be right down.

I've worked a lot with victims of sexual abuse.

I sort of see what I do here as a form of activism.

One year since our first investigation, this national epidemic keeps on growing.

How old are you?

35.

Wanna try again?

When we come back, Hey, come on in!

the parade of men begins.

And some of them come bearing gifts.

I brought the condos, too, of course.

That's great.

Of course.

Come in.

Get closer in on his floors.

When these guys, they see me emerge, their noses flare.

And I think it would be fascinating for an audience to experience that as well.

Let's try that again one more time.

When we come back, the parade of men begins.

And some of them come bearing gifts.

It's time.

Okay, let's try that again.

When we come back, the parade of men begins.

And some of them come bearing gifts.

That was great.

I loved it.

That's the one.

Okay, just one more time.

the parade of men begins.

And some of them come bearing gifts.

Very nice.

Mark that change.

We gotta go.

We gotta go.

All right, thank you.

Thank you so much.

Great work.

God, thanks to this fucking Mike Wallace.

This place is so sick.

I have no judgment.

I'm sorry, but not on this judgment.

From behind an opaque screen, I'm Stone Phillips with Keyline NBC.

Oh, I forgot something.

Fucking shit.

I told you you can't call me at work.

You never want to see me again?

Absolutely not.

What?

Because you said you loved me.

No, I'm not talking to you.

I'm in a meeting.

You're not in a goddamn meeting, and I need your information.

If you don't see me, then I'm telling your wife.

My mom.

Yup, how do you service this?

Hello, this is Chris Hansen with Keyline NBC.

The machine has just stolen from me.

Good to see you.

Apologies.

Apologies for the delay.

It's okay.

We were supposed to start a few minutes ago, but it's okay.

Have a seat and try a cookie.

So look, I don't know how else to say this, but I don't really like your show.

I don't really understand it.

I don't really believe in it.

But America loves it.

Television's changing.

Seinfeld gone.

Friends gone.

We've poured hundreds of millions of dollars into beautiful scripted shows.

The audience just isn't there.

They're not watching.

Right now, your show has a special connection with the audience.

Every one of our competitors is trying to copy it.

ABC will have a functioning facsimile in less than a minute.

So I need to know with you.

It's time that you all play with the big boys.

What do we got on Thursday nights?

My name is Earl.

No, Bump Joey.

I'm not bumping Joey.

Let me see.

Friday Night Live is not my favorite show.

Carole 10, SV, and Dick Wolf.

Dick's a loser in reality.

Oh, I got it.

We're taking on...

Lost.

Lost.

Lost.

Lost is on.

At the same time, it's Lost vs.

Them.

And we can kill them.

But we're gonna need a lot more of those.

You're not gonna believe who's coming.

High-impact predators.

Yeah.

Can you do that?

Yes, I can.

Schoolgirl.

Such eyes.

Yeah, pizza's my favorite.

This thing.

Pepperoni.

That thing.

You've seen it all before.

That's old predator.

Oh, you're fine.

God, you are so pretty.

Mom, you're so sweet.

And we need the spectacular.

The best of the best.

Among Whales.

All right, this guy's good.

Crazy Frog 73.

He wants us to cover him with whipped cream.

And he wants to watch Richie have sex with a cat.

I'll take you to the new scheduled advertiser next week.

Come again?

The Catcher Predator.

Wednesdays, 9 p.m. Prime time.

Oh, my God.

Chris.

I always knew it would happen.

I always knew we were gonna do this.

So we need to, um...

How will we, um...

Hide and patch predators?

It's like we can hold auditions.

We're kind of at the mercy of...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I believe in you.

We're gonna find them.

We're gonna be big and lost.

We're gonna be big and lost!

Breaking news.

I'm Stone Phillips.

Stone Phillips with Dateline NBC.

Great job.

I could never do what you do.

Good to see you, Stone.

It's thrilling.

I'll be watching from Afghanistan.

Thank you.

Hey, bud.

I'm gonna show you boys something.

Hey, what's up?

Hey.

Come on in.

Are you sure your parents are at home?

Are you sure?

I have a bunch of beer in the car.

But I brought the condoms.

Big night plan.

Why don't you have a seat right there?

They're gonna put me on primetime.

You boys know what that is?

What?

What?

That's the time when the most amount of people tune in to watch a program.

That's cool.

Yeah.

Hi.

I didn't hear you come in.

Did you wake them?

No, I was just reviewing the new edit and they walked in.

I'm glad they saw you.

Please, please, please.

Don't put this on TV, please.

Eric, I need to say something or my head is gonna explode.

I know that you didn't know what kind of man I am.

I'm not upstanding in all the ways you thought I would be when we're married.

But I just want to say that here and now, I

am guilty of everything you accuse me of.

The one thing I'm not guilty of is falling out of love with you.

And I promise when I return, I will be the man you married.

You owe me the show to prime time.

Hello?

Hello, Mr. Plum.

We have an extra large-style dildo for you downstairs.

If you could come and get it as soon as possible, that would be amazing.

It's me.

It's Troy.

Hey, Troy.

Dude, what's the room like?

It's awesome.

I have not one, but two beds.

And they have these cool towel things and a view of this cool...

Have you drunk tea yet?

I'm just kidding, man.

Do you have a coffee machine?

Yeah.

Does it have little packets of coffee and sugar and cream?

Yeah, why?

Dude, that's amazing.

I wish that was me, man.

I'll just say that.

You're the king of Fort Myers, man.

You know what would be a huge turn-on for me?

You know what would be a huge turn-on for me?

You stick one thing in your mouth.

Yeah, I promise.

Take care!

Is this for a lying child or an adult thinking about fucking a child?

Is this for you?

It's so obviously...

Did you sanction this?

Mark, come on.

It's on our merch site.

What is a merch site?

If this doesn't get taken down, I'm not going out there.

It's just a song.

Eddie!

No, no, no, no.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?

What are you two doing?

What is this?

I'm not going out there until this gets taken down.

I need you today.

Our new decoy did not show up.

This is on our website.

You don't need to see me because we need you to bind up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whoa!

Who the fuck are you?

Hi.

Hi.

What are you wearing?

What are you wearing?

I, uh...

You need to show me.

I have to show you.

Uh, coffee, tea, and slime trunks?

Okay, Dan.

Hey, Dan.

So you are playing a 13-year-old named Peter.

I'm Peter.

And you have been chatting with this man of mine.

Okay.

And he likes cats.

He is a sweet dude.

All you need to do is get into the kitchen island, and then Chris will come in, and you will go

out.

Jesus, what are you doing?

Okay, puka shell, puka shell, puka shell.

No puka shell?

Okay, Dan.

Do you understand?

Is there maybe time for a rehearsal?

We're getting straight to rehearsal.

Come in.

Peter?

Is that you?

Hi.

Yeah, it's me.

You look different.

Way different.

Maybe.

Sorry, I'm sort of nervous.

You're even hotter than your pictures.

Did you shave your hair or something?

I've been out in the sun.

Want to go over here?

Where?

I guess I thought, um, maybe we could hang out in the kitchen.

Okay.

Do you have any water?

I'll see what I can do.

Oh.

By the way, I brought something.

Oh yeah?

Wow !

Okay.

Proud God, baby.

He did not disappoint.

It's all out there.

Why don't you have a seat right there?

Watch for yourself.

Running around, looking for a cat.

Just bring whipped cream all over yourself.

What's going on in your mind?

Crazy frog.

Hey.

You were amazing.

Oh, thanks.

You're a movie star.

Thank you.

Yeah.

You are a natural.

Yeah, amazing.

Thank you.

You get stress migraines.

I don't know if you do.

Maybe, maybe.

Thank you.

You look so good.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean it.

Yeah.

Okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It happens.

It's all right.

Honestly, please take the cream.

I like this new decoy.

Frees up like the last one.

Yeah, I think you might walk off.

God damn it, not again.

I need that one.

He's perfect for Jersey Shore.

I agree, but for his first time, that was a lot.

If we do have to inform the network, the optics were really not good.

So, can you talk to him?

What?

No.

I have somewhere to be.

In Fort Myers?

Where?

I have a lot, Fendi.

Okay.

Can you talk to him first?

I think a reassurance coming from you.

Maybe at the hotel bar.

Maybe a nice Macallan.

Then maybe you expanse it.

Maybe I don't tell.

Dan, come on.

Where's Jensen?

How are you doing?

I'm okay.

It's a big day.

Want some wine, Dan?

Bud Light.

Bud Light would be nice.

It relaxes.

On ABC.

Budweiser and a...

Macallan.

Me too.

How long have you been acting, Dan?

Four years.

Four years professionally, but I've dreamt about my entire life.

Musical theater.

Different world.

I hate feeling like I'm not up to the task.

And it matters a lot to me to do a good job.

What were you hoping to achieve from this experience?

Something for my reel.

More than that, a credit.

I would be really hopeful for getting my unique card and representation.

Thank you, Dan.

Well, do you know what your credit is on this show?

Theater.

Peter.

My character from today?

No.

No.

Superhero.

That's your credit.

Dan, what you're doing is more than acting.

It's much more.

You're here with us and you're saving children.

Yeah.

Dan.

Daniel.

Dan.

Danny.

Danny.

Decoy Dan.

Decoy Dan?

That's your credit.

Decoy Dan.

Decoy Dan.

You remind me of my son.

But, uh, older.

Um, thanks.

Just so I could go, I have a helpful friend named Ernie.

He's a kind, lenient, cheerful, thrifty, graceful, and damp.

Oh, uh, uh, uh, respectful.

Close.

Reverent.

Reverent.

I knew you were a Boy Scout.

How long you do it for?

I'm a Boy Scout.

Maybe like two years, or something like that.

It's a sign of strong character.

Good night.

Good night.

Sorry, can I just ask, is that an acting photo?

What?

Your bracelet.

Is it...

Nothing I did was acting, Dan.

I got it in.

Yeah.

In 1996, I was doing a story on child slave labor.

I won an Emmy.

A predator has never earned an Emmy, nor any of the serious recognition it deserves.

But I think that's all about to change.

Alright.

Alright.

I'll see you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow.

- Hello ? - Hey, This is Patty Patterson from ABC.

Sorry, am I interrupting something?

No.

I don't think we've met, but...

Oh, we have, actually.

The Murrow Awards, last year.

Hi.

My brain.

Anyway, we wanted to congratulate you on the new time slot.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

I saw Jeff just pitched it to the admin.

Not sure if you're aware, but we've been working on a show for the same night.

Uh-huh.

And we've been so impressed by your work on Predator, we would love to pick your brain.

I was wondering if you'd be free for a drink, or...

You know what's better than a drink?

A sushi roll.

Well, that's not possible.

I'm shooting in Fort Myers.

That is crazy.

I will be in Florida tomorrow.

Uh, not tomorrow?

Yeah, sounds great.

So, I'll see you tomorrow evening.

Evening?

Uh...

Okay, okay.

Okay.

I don't mean to overstate it, Kristen.

We can still have a nice dinner as friends.

Friends?

Oh.

So none of this meant anything to you?

No, nothing.

No.

Kristen, I...

I want to be a part of your life.

I do.

I truly do.

But I can only participate in, uh...

obfuscated ways at a distance.

You know?

But, uh...

Kristen, come on.

Can I tempt you to something sweet?

Oh my God, you're a great dancer.

I'm a huge fan of your show.

I don't want to be in it, but...

Did you want anything for dessert?

Do you have the cookies?

I could definitely ask the chef.

No, I'm just kidding.

We're out.

I'm just joking.

No, I'm just joking.

Okay, thank you so much for coming to dance.

Thanks so much.

I have...

I have your lot on the line right now.

I love my wife.

We don't need to make a scene, okay?

We don't need to make a scene.

Callie, callie.

Callie.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm going to do everything in my power to make this right.

I swear to God.

I understand, okay?

Okay, just...

Let me get your cap.

Oh my God.

Come on.

Let's go.

Okay.

Okay.

Who is that?

It's me, Michael.

One sec.

Let me prepare a patient call.

Check it out.

Hey, man.

Hey, there you are.

I told you I was real.

I like real.

What do you think we should do next Monday?

I don't know.

Probably be shooting some hoops or something.

So, if you want to shower together, that might be nice.

Yeah.

I can't wait for the adventure.

Cool.

It's the last house at the end of the cul-de-sac.

You can't miss it.

It's boring like the other ones.

Well, I can't wait.

Cool.

Oh, don't forget the weed.

Oh, yeah.

Cool.

That'd be great.

Alright, later.

Bye.

Bye.

You have to smile so they can hear your voice.

Yeah, cool.

Thanks.

Look.

If this is something you really want to do, you can't treat it like an acting gig.

No.

The last decoy made it an episode and a half, saw a predator who looked like his dad, and walked off.

You have to find ways to protect yourself.

Yeah.

Thanks.

See you tomorrow.

Don't be late.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Come right in, bro.

Come right in, bro.

Hurry up.

Hey, come right in, bro.

I'm baking cookies.

Hey, come right in, bro.

I'm baking cookies.

Hey, come on in.

There's sweetsie on the table.

Hey, come on in.

There's sweetsie on the table.

Did you bring any of that stuff we talked about?

Hey, Marco.

Did you bring the stuff we talked about?

Yes, your house.

Uh, well, technically my mommy and daddy's house.

Hey, just hopped out of the shower.

Just put a pizza in the oven.

Just picture me naked and come on in.

I did.

Put your stuff down.

But what about all your clothes?

I'll do that.

Don't go anywhere.

Do you know how to do this?

Do you know how to do this?

How you doing, Stanley?

Are you Jeremy?

Jeremy's talented, huh?

You nervous?

That's okay.

We tell.

What did you think you wanted to do?

This guy's so terrible.

Terrible.

I wasn't going to do this shit in the car.

Did you go down?

No, Christopher.

I need to talk to you.

I have a bug in my jaw.

Oh, good.

Yeah.

Close the door.

Ew, what a knock-down.

It's chiseled.

It's okay.

We're just having...

Okay.

So, we got a fan letter from Jeremy's five-foot cop.

Dear Chris Hansen and the good men of the National Broadcasting Corporation.

My name is Michael Sashley.

I'm here to be advised and lock myself out of the unit.

I write to you today to thank you from the bottom of my heart for promoting goodness in this troubled world we live in.

I also want to thank you for promoting respect for law enforcement in your program.

What this world needs, in my opinion, is a good, hard, honest, and polite look in the mirror.

But what is that but your show?

Should you ever find yourself down in Murphy, Texas, please know that you have a friendly face here in our precinct.

I appreciate it.

Thank you very much.

Michael Sashley.

Chief District Quality Logo for election season.

Stay in that program.

How to catch a president.

I got this.

I'm going to help you in this call.

I got this.

Thanks again.

I never lose these guys because they are usually fucking idiots.

This is not your average PM.

He was careful not to give anything away, but boy, did he love to chat.

We battled.

I tried every trick in the book, Chris.

I was really in it for hours, but he wouldn't take the lead.

I was ready to give up.

But then.

He slipped.

Awake.

Inventing tactics.

Psychics who gave me.

The only one I could find was a private event for government associates of a dead senator.

The most important seats in Texas.

Ferris.

We've never caught a government operative before.

A man on the inside.

This.

This is it.

This guy's got to be CIA.

NSA.

Or.

He's at the highest.

Levels.

Of government.

I mean, what are we talking about here?

Congressman.

We.

We're talking about the president.

Chris, we already have our schedule for the coming months in the Jersey Shores after this.

That is a priority.

I have a feeling about this guy, Chris.

I really do.

No.

It's not enough information to act.

She's right.

Keep looking.

Let me know if there's something more.

I like it.

Psychic.

So many.

Nice work.

You've prepared me.

Perfect picture.

Could you show me the last couple?

Excuse me.

T-minus ten minutes.

Can you bring up the last couple of clips?

Oh, yeah.

We're good.

Well, I'm thinking of trying something new.

I want to see what I did.

Okay, we're good.

You just have to be very clean in your abs.

Your abs.

I think that's too far.

Stick to the sucking.

Stop.

Okay.

Okay.

Let's see.

Who's answering?

Hi, Chris.

This is Brett Kowalski from the National Acquire.

We just wanted to give you the opportunity to comment before we run a story about your next week.

And what is the story about?

A young woman and extramarital activities.

Does that ring a bell?

Wow.

If I call NBC, what would they say about this?

America's favorite pervert catcher, stick with fingers where fingers shouldn't be.

Doc?

Hello?

Hi, Mary.

Chris Hansen.

Yes, I need my phone.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Doc.

Um.

Hey, Dad.

Hi, boys.

Yeah.

Yeah, I was just calling to, uh, talk to you and, um, just calling to talk to the boys.

Are you going to come to my baseball game?

Did you hear?

Hey.

Hi.

Try to find me the place?

Absolutely.

Shoot.

Spilled soda on my shirt.

I'm going to go change.

Be back in a sec.

I've been chatting with Mary for a month now.

It's fucking hideous.

How'd it look?

It looked great.

If you guys give me the logs in more advance next time, I could use all of that stuff.

I could, I could have gotten in there for 20 days.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you have a diet coke?

Is everything okay?

Why don't you have a seat right there?

Why don't you have a seat?

What are you doing here?

Sit down.

Sit down!

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Nothing.

What did you do for a living?

I don't know where I'm going.

I like fucking and being.

He's home.

Where's Adam's father?

He's in the old testament or the new testament?

You're being very hostile to me.

Who gave you permission to do this?

You did this to yourself.

You know you don't have the right to do this.

Who do you think you are?

I'm Chris Hansen.

A Dateline NBC and we're doing a story on adults who beat young teens online.

You're doing this for television?

Oh my goodness.

There he is.

There he is.

Oh that's amazing.

That is amazing.

That's gorgeous.

Yeah.

Hey, hey, hey.

He's not a leper.

He just touched you.

Doesn't that disgust you?

Yeah.

Why do you do this Andy?

Because we're going to be the number one show on TV.

Yeah.

We're going to be the number one show on TV.

Number one show on TV.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but if you had children, you

would understand.

Yeah.

Picture this.

You're in an IHOP eating alone and you notice a girl hunched over and the mother is berating her for over eating

pancakes.

She says, you don't want to be a fat pig.

You think to yourself, well God, this is pretty wrong.

And then the mother gets louder, more insulting.

And then finally the girl starts crying.

What would you do?

I might hand the daughter the number to social services and tell her to eat whatever she likes.

And then I might try to hurt the mother in some way.

Not physically.

Honey, if that's the name of the show, what would you do?

Oh.

It's a new character.

Where we put strangers in social situations.

It's feel good.

Do you know John Quinones?

Yes.

I'm John Quinones.

He's incredible.

He was.

Well, I'm flattered, obviously.

I don't think I'm the kind of producer that does what would feel good stuff.

And I also don't think I'm the kind of producer that has a lot of respect for people who want to steal my show.

Okay.

Look, I dominated a lot of space at this network.

I'd say the majority of shows that have been successful in the last ten years I've had a hand in.

I know the feeling.

And I know that you think you're just walking the same path that Chris is not the guy to hold hands with.

He is not that guy.

You know, I met Chris once.

And I swear he didn't even mention me.

He makes me question if he understands what you're worth.

I just want to protect you, you know.

Who's this?

Hey, Chris.

Hi, Jeff.

Do me a favor.

Go to your TV.

Turn on ABC.

Tell me what you see.

Lost.

It's polar bears.

Yeah, but these polar bears aren't going to fucking kill us, Chris.

I know people look up to you.

But let me be frank with you right now.

This thing with you, it didn't come to me.

Jeff.

We have something very special online.

A real man on the inside.

And story.

Wait, what?

All right, just tell him I'll be right there.

Okay, sorry, Chris, I gotta run.

It's right here.

It's right here.

Shit!

Did you find him?

The fish.

Did you find him?

The fish.

Come here.

Give me a hand.

Candy's been filling my denial.

I've been trawling balls deep all day.

So I had him on the hook, right?

But every time I tried to track him, okay?

I kept getting blocked.

It's in here.

I need you to guarantee that he has to be extremely, extremely important.

100%.

This is big.

The biggest.

A whale.

I've got to find a way.

Okay, okay.

I need your answer.

How can we catch him?

We have to go there and be the bait.

Because I can tell you one thing.

He's not coming to the fucking Jersey Shore.

You can't go over my head to relocate shoot locations, Chris.

Do you realize if that information gets to the mayor, it makes me look like I don't know what I am doing?

We have full docketed guys coming to the Jersey Shore.

We have no plan.

We are chasing man.

It's a meme.

Guys, sorry to interrupt.

Just a show cover of Snatch for the flight.

I'd love to grab some gum if it's not too much of a thing.

Yeah?

Yeah?

Sorry I'm late.

What's going on with you?

I need to do something big.

Bigger than Lost.

I'm Stone Phillips and this is Dateline NBC.

And Murphy, we've got more firepower to save himself.

And more garbage.

H-E-K-N-B-I.

Grenade Launcher United.

Many of us here serve together for a better storm.

I can assure you, Mr. Hansel, you're not going to find a police force with more hoof.

And after this show airs on Wednesday night, no pervert will dare set foot in Murphy again.

After we're done, this will be the safest town in America.

Now let's have some barbecue.

It's nice to put the face with the face.

I got to tell you, Austin, they don't want to give us funding.

This is really, really going to help us out a lot.

So what's your name?

Xavier Robert.

Xavier?

Yes.

You got a hot house?

My name is Chris Brown.

I'm Dan Plumb.

Dan Plumb.

It's an honor.

All right.

Honor to all of us.

Now what does that mean?

It's an industrial metal group called Nine Inch Nails.

Gary, bring the cup.

She's got Nine Inch Nails on it.

Hi, I am Andy Bender.

I'm the producer and it's so wonderful to be here.

I really want to check out Gary here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm very curious about this.

I'd love to meet and talk to you in private.

I mean, you can really go to my operation.

Sure.

It's really good.

It's sort of coordinated.

Yeah, it's coordinated.

Yeah, it's so kind.

You can settle in a little more.

Oh, girl.

I don't know what they want me to be.

I'm kind of a mirror to them.

I'm kind of mapping them to what they want me to be.

I'm Bruce Yancey.

I'm with Dateline NBC.

And we're doing a story on adults who are doing young kids.

And next week, the Predator team is in Fort Myers.

The story of the man we'll meet next week is downright bizarre.

This potential Predator walks into the house, takes off his clothes, and whips out a common dessert ingredient,

much to the surprise of our decoy, who after this episode, may never order a hot fudge soda again.

Yeah!

That's what it's about.

Cherry poppy!

Hello?

Hey, what's up?

I'm naked.

We met on TV.

I'm that pervert that showed you the shit between my fingers.

But now I'm in prison.

Please let me out.

It's me.

It's Troy.

Don't worry.

You saw my teaser?

Me and Amanda and fucking Selba and Christian, Rajiv, we're all freaking partying.

We just watched it, man.

What'd you think?

Did you think I was good?

I mean...

Yeah, it doesn't matter, right?

What do you mean, it doesn't matter?

What kind of answer is that?

Dude, I mean, like...

Here's the thing, is that you were only on screen for like .1 seconds.

Being all scared of a Predator.

Yeah, that's the character.

That's the point.

As your friend, I'm proud.

But if I was a random viewer, I would think absolutely 0.0% about you.

I mean, dude, here's the thing.

You were on TV.

I wish I was on TV.

That would be amazing.

Maybe you're not on TV because you're a bad actor.

Magician?

I know you don't mean that shit, dude.

Hi.

Hi, you've reached the handset.

We're so sorry we can't come to the phone right now, but please leave a message.

We hope you have a wonderful day.

Hi.

I went out to be afraid of the ball.

It's weird seeing myself on TV.

I think also my...

My friends don't really understand.

Sorry.

I can get it.

It's alright.

My friends don't really understand what I'm doing here.

How could they understand, Dan?

Dude.

I wanted to have this.

I think it's a little big.

Record.

Close your eyes.

It's 1996.

You're in Bangla.

It's in India.

At a college bar.

She was doing some local approaches to us.

She was covering the missing children.

You don't know what he's talking about.

So he tells you...

All across the southern state of India, children are disappearing at night.

It's clinical.

No military replies.

No suspensions.

So the villagers start turning on each other and lynching begins.

From the surrounding jungle, they find the children in bits.

Chris, can I open my eyes now?

Not yet.

The authorities said it was wolves.

But I found a witness.

Another joke.

A young girl gave me that bracelet.

She told me what she saw.

A darkness that cannot be understood.

It exists outside of time and space.

Not in heaven.

A monster.

A movie of this girl telling her friends that it's over time.

Cleansing the world of an ancient evil that waits for us on Earth.

And he's an Indian guy.

Where's he at?

He's coming.

We've got to move.

Pass your hands.

Pass your hands.

Look, I know that you're set to go tomorrow.

He's coming now.

But listen, my hands are tied.

I've got four Sonis in the living room.

Three Sonis.

God damn it.

Well, you can't hide him.

Ah, you too.

Any of you both on keyboard?

Did anyone pick up on the keyboard?

Everybody on the internet.

Everybody in the kitchen.

Raise your cup.

Tell me.

Is this him?

Is this the wolf?

He's not me, is this?

Are you me?

Yeah, you too.

I heard him.

Yes.

Enhance the car.

Enhance.

Fire telecoms to get in position.

Got it.

Fuck, it's fucking great.

Chris, I'm getting the feeling you're ignoring me.

Listen here, champ.

I need sources.

I need stuff.

What's he doing?

Does anybody hear me?

- I don't understand. - Stop being like this.

Do you know how much any of this is costing every fucking second?

You don't.

Because I do the budget.

You don't do my job.

I do it.

What happened ?

It's empty.

What do you mean ?

The car drove itself?

- What the fuck ? - What ?

Guys?

They know we're here.

How the hell is this possible?

Packers.

That doesn't make fucking sense.

There's human forces beyond our control here.

Okay, we need to change houses.

Chris?

We need to change houses.

We're not leaving.

Well, Chris, no one will come to this house if they know that we are here.

And we are also over a hundred K in the hole.

That's not about money for me.

It is about money.

What are you doing?

Where are we going?

What are you doing?

Chris?

I'm not leaving until the whale comes.

No.

No.

Wait.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Chris?

We're not leaving.

I swear to fucking God that if you do not get your shit together, I will call the network,

motherfucker.

Hey!

Can you hear me?

Do you understand what I am saying to you?

I am pulling the plug.

The whale is coming.

Wrestling Dude East Texas need to get the memo.

He's pulling up right now.

Chris!

Get up!

Chris!

Jesus fucking Christ!

Get over here!

No, you come here!

I'm just in here.

Pretty nice place you got here.

Yeah.

So what's up?

Nothing.

Did you bring the razors?

Sure did.

What did you want to do with them?

I was kind of confused.

I'll show you later.

You probably go to a lot of boys' homes, huh?

Nah.

Don't even get out of the house much.

I'd rather make it off the computer.

You all right?

Mm-hmm.

You said, I wish I could hug you.

That'd be nice.

Why are you reading that?

Then you said, can I be your first at sex?

I mean, if that's what you wanted to do.

What in the world are you doing here?

I'm just hanging out with you men.

Hanging out?

With a 13-year-old?

Look, I'm just going to leave.

Well, if you want to leave, you're free to go.

But before you do, you should know I'm not 13.

I'm 23.

My real name is Dan Plumb.

And you're on TV.

Whoa.

Wait a second.

You want to be on TV?

I'm a professionally trained actor.

And I'm helping tell a story on bad guys who try to meet kids online.

And I hope you remember my face as the face,

that you saw when everything changed.

Look, I'm just going to go.

You know, in the old days, when people would act so depraved,

they'd drag you down to the town square,

tie you to a post, and whip you across the city.

There used to be a pillory in every civilized town.

Now there's tillers in every home.

And I'm off.

So are you, Dan.

Hi, Patty.

It's Andy.

Gosh, I keep asking myself, what am I doing?

Which, I guess, is a variant of what would you do.

So I think that this is a good sign.

Mr. Quinonez would be curious about how we mesh.

And I'm hoping, you know, if he really is a nice guy, hey, maybe it'll work off on me.

He's a story about me.

I'm not worried.

I can face it.

I just need to get up.

How old is she?

She's 30, Patty.

Bravo.

We can't let him get away.

All I need is that you believe.

I'm done.

Abby.

the wheel is coming.

Greg!

Greg!

Greg!

He's back!

Andy Cantolo!

Don't think that's him.

I think it's Tolbrin from A&M Biology's profile.

He's a ranty.

He still has more on a night than he has on a weekday.

Try again.

Come on.

Fuck.

Holy fuck!

He couldn't resist me.

Look it up!

District attorney, she voted for me for county judge.

One more day for me to see my aunt, and she's going to be gone for the night.

So, try me back.

Good morning, it is.

I still got that burger.

Do you know where to find me?

No, as district attorney, I've seen all sorts of horrible behavior.

And I understand how people can see criminals as other than human.

Despite the child endangerment we've substantiated, the defendant here is not a monster.

He's a man.

But he has brought a disease to our community.

And by putting this man away, we send a message.

A message that we'd like our slice of Texas and we intend to keep it that way.

Could I feel your cock?

How thick are you?

I like younger.

Are you going to fuck me?

Do I get to fuck you too?

Do you like to kiss?

Cuddle me.

Did you cum a lot when you J slash O question mark?

Fuck!

He's back!

He's back!

That's what I take a lot.

Hey man, I'm sorry.

That sucked man, that wasn't cool.

Yo, you've reached Troy.

For commercial work, please reach out to Sunshine Ballet Talent.

For me, just leave a message.

Hey man.

Um...

Um...

DICK OR DEAD!

Phone ringing.

Hi.

Are you coming over?

I'm uh, sick and tired.

Oh, you haven't left yet?

No.

Well are you coming over or not?

Well, a little later.

What do you want to do?

What do you like?

I like musicals.

Maybe we could watch one and hang out.

That would be nice.

Have you ever tried Vegemite?

What's that?

Have you ever been to Australia?

Uh-uh.

Oh, I, well I just, I love it.

I've seen the most beautiful things in my life there.

The kangaroos.

They're my favorite animals.

That's cool.

Hey anyway, I get hard like super easy.

Why don't you come over and make it hard?

I gotta go.

I worked with that DA for ten years.

Spent my life with my kids.

Christ.

The guy who catches the guys.

That boy.

Fuck it.

Democrat piece of shit.

I'll go get him.

Formula.

Gordon, I need to see him.

I need to look him in his eyes.

I need to put him on television.

I put his head on a stick.

We need words.

We're going to him?

Yes.

Then we'll do that.

Then he'll come to us.

I know.

All his information is disappearing.

You understand?

My son's sick.

Protocol.

Protocol.

Fuck protocol.

Shit.

I'm sorry, Chief.

I should really do this one.

I need you.

All the things we've been through.

It's been me all the time.

We don't have that kind of time.

While we stand here talking.

He will erase his tracks, if we don't get him today.

And then, we'll lose him, forever.

She's talking.

Ready?

Then let us gather in all courses.

Halt!

What?

You are part of a story much bigger than yourselves.

Remember, before we're here to make a statement, Beatles are not allowed in Texas.

If you see the camera on you, act natural.

Let's catch us a predator!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Mary?

I'm a little starved.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

Mary!

Mary!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mary!

Mary?

Mary!

Hi!

I'm coming home.

Tomorrow.

Yes.

And I'll be there for Thanksgiving.

Chris, they have photos of you.

And some woman.

They're asking me for comment.

What do you suggest I say?

I've got a hatchet job.

It is known I'm going to be on national news.

And it's part of the course.

You're going to be so proud of me, Mary.

I love you, Mary.

Love you, boys.

Hey, Chris?

Chris, excuse me, excuse me.

Mind if we get a photo real quick?

Sure.

Awesome, thanks, man.

I'm a big fan.

You're doing the Lord's work, you know that, right?

All right.

Big smiles.

Big smiles, Melvin.

Big smiles.

The idea is a co-op business.

Listen, how am I going to get my interview?

I'm going to have a tag team.

They can force entry.

That's your call.

If we do that...

I want cameras.

And your guns.

Maybe not as possible.

Let's make it possible.

Mitchell!

Cameras on guns!

How am I going to get my fucking interview?

Hi.

Hi.

If I look at the offer you left for me...

Sorry, I can't hear you that well.

We are so so excited.

Yeah.

About you coming to the Cold War.

I was thinking about it.

And, uh...

I don't want to.

Sorry?

What do you mean?

No, I don't want to.

Oh, God, Andy.

I said what I felt for you.

Well, I'm sorry if I wasted your time.

Why don't you take a week to think about it?

I think you're making a big mistake.

I just need you to talk to him.

Get him outside.

I'll get the interview.

It'll be a part of television history.

I can't go out there.

You're either with me...

Or you're with him.

I don't want to be a bad person.

I don't want to be a bad person.

Son...

Your definition of bad...

And my definition of bad...

Are vastly different.

Shit.

I'm in.

I am.

I know you're in there.

Just come outside.

It'll be safer if you come outside.

But just...

I just want to watch musicals with you.

Yeah, I know.

Did you always hate me?

Brent...

I think I'm in the minority of people who actually think that...

Film is better than the stage production.

That's funny.

I told you film is better than the stage production.

525,000 moments so dear 525

,600 minutes How do you measure?

Measure a year?

In daylight In sunsets In midnights In cups of coffee,

In inches ...

I think that I made this work.

Find some police to interview.

Gibby Dickow, are you playing with me?

I masturbate today.

You want the kids?

Come.

My fear is gone.

How sick are you?

Are you going to fuck me?

Too late to fuck you soon.

Gibby Dickow Are you playing with me?

She masturbates today.

You have the kids?

Come.

What would happen if I wasn't here?

Hey, sorry, are you...

Daniel Plum?

Oh man, I think I have your mail.

Yeah, I'm 202 and a half, not 202 and a quarter.

Yeah, thanks, thank you.

No worries, no worries, here you go.

You know, at this point, I swear, you should just put my name down on the mail,

because the last three tenants who have lived here I've gotten all of their mail.

It's insane, dude.

Okay.

It's like, no matter what I do, I cannot get them to stop putting it in my box.

And it says 202 and a quarter, and they're still doing it.

You know what I mean?

Oh, you know what?

I have another package.

I'll grab it for you, okay?

Alright, brother man.

There you go.

Overnight priority, Mr. Fancy Pants.

Hey, what's in the box?

What's in the box?

Oh shit.

Are you an actor?