Original subtitles

Marry me, mate!

- How much do you want for it? - 20 dirhams.

- It is too expensive! - Then 10 dirhams.

- I'll give you 5. - Agreed.

Give him 5 dirhams!

Here!

And go on.

For your studies.

We all contributed.

Mum, I can't.

Take it, son.

After all, it's your dream to go there and become an architect.

It is normal that your family wants to help you.

When I return, I will build

- the most beautiful house in the village. - Praise Allah.

Yassine, take it.

And when you find the woman of your dreams, give it to her.

Thank you, Mother.

She wants you to be happy.

You will succeed, brother, you're the best.

Well, I will go.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Student Visa? - Yes.

Welcome to France.

Marry me, mate!

I can't do it ...

Wait, I will show you.

You have to use a compass from this point.

When you draw a circle,

Then you'll get the boundary.

Okay.

It's so simple for you.

I am still stressed. This test means a lot to me.

To my future, to my family.

Your family?

Year.

They sacrified a lot for me to be here.

Like my dad.

He is a hard worker. He has ambitions and principles ... ..

Moreover, I'm a stranger.

I have to work a lot more to secure my place.

And I'm different too. I am fat

and a bookworm.

I don't think so.

I like you.

- Are you alright? - Yes.

Are you sure?

- Yeah, yeah, really. - Let me help you.

- What a shitty chair. - It was broken.

Would you like to get something to drink?

Yeah!

Super!

Okay.

You never told me where that pendant comes from.

It belonged to my granny, then my mother.

And one day I will give it to the love of my life.

Maybe you will give it to me one day?

Maybe tonight...after the competition.

You know, I think...

that tonight's not for me ...

I'm afraid I'm not too funny.

Now it's different.

I'm here.

Hello, do you have the lectures for me?

Hello, Stan.

- Here it is. -I have to go now.

Great! You saved my life!

That hippo is your woman?

Shut up! She is really great!

I was just kidding.

- I am panicking because of the tests. - You have no reason!

You're the the most talented in our class!

Let's get some wine.

- I do not drink alcohol. - Just one glass.

No, I'm serious!

Wake up!

Shit, what time is it?

No, no, no!

This is simply not possible!

Not only you missed the test,

you also missed the competition.

- I just want to renew my visa for another year! - Listen, Sir ...

you have to leave!

Hi, this Yassine.

Leave me a message.

Hello, Yassine. It's me again.

I called you about twenty times.

I am worried about you. Call me.

What a hippo costume!

Where is the second half of the hippo?

Two years later

The building will be modern.

There will be a compact concrete, much harder.

- And on the third floor... - Are you on a break?

So work and stop yawning!

Out! Building Inspection!

Get out!

- Are you there, Ludo? - I'm listening.

I just saved some money from the budget.

Hello, can I help?

I can't say no to help. I'm Fred.

Yassine. I live there in the front.

- Hello, nice to meet you. - Lisa, nice to meet you.

- Shall I take this? - No, wait.

I'm unemployed, and I am not allowed to have gaming gear ...

- Could I keep it at your place? - Sure.

- Thanks. - Not at all.

Why don't you get married?

- I asked my girlfriend. - And what did she say?

I agree.

Seriously?

You will marry me?

Yeah.

15 000 Euros.

15 000 Euros?

15 000 Euros cash

15 000 Euros?

With the 30 Euros from me

- you will not get very far! - Between the two of us, I am getting along...

Okay, it's done.

It is not right to take advantage of problems of others ...

I'll put your slipper on.

You are a darling, Yassine. I want to marry you.

You would do that for me done?

I want to do a good deed before I die.

I do not know how to thank you.

You can fuck me.

Pardon?

Fuck me!

What ..?

Seriously?

The granny wanted to have sex?

- I swear! - That is so shameful!

Shameful? And what about you in that woman's shirt?

This is Lisa's. I lost the box with my T-shirts.

Bang! Look at this!

Let's get a photo!

Come on!

This is Yassine!

Sana, come!

How are you doing, my son?

- Well, and you? - We are all well.

"When are you coming and when will you get married?"

I can't right now, I'm working on a large project.

- You always say that. It's a pretty big viaduct.

Viaduct?

My boy building a viaduct!

- Do you know what a viaduct is? - No, but it must be dangerous.

Thanks for the 400 Euros.

You should stop it though. I have not sent there

- because of this. - Do not worry, Dad.

We would like to visit you there.

No, no, no, no, I would not have time for you.

I know, but I can take care of myself.

I have to leave, I got a job.

We'll talk again, kisses.

- Kisses! - See you!

Did you hear? Viaduct ...

Great Viaduct!

I can't keep this up anymore!

One day you will have to tell the truth.

Occasionally it does not work when ?? are told the truth.

I cannot tell them that I blew all the money from granny and mum.

"I work at a construction site, but I'm not an architect,

I unload concrete from the trucks. "

"And I do not have a permanent residence."

Why don't you go to the school's party?

Maybe it could open some doors for you.

I can't.

You don't even know what it's like to find a job.

No?

And Claire ...

- Stop talking about that girl. - I messed up.

- I couldn't even look at her. - We can find some solution.

Although I am the unemployed, I have ideas!

Listen!

The government gave

a French nationality and Medal of Merit

to Bachir Arfaouim for his heroic action.

He rescued a mother with a child

from burning alive. "

That I like about the newspaper.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Okay then. Thanks, mate.

Here.

Okay.

Fuck, it's so hot!

I'll kill myself!

Don't get close or I'll jump!

- Get down. - See you in the other world!

Wait, wait! I can film you!

No, Sir. Don't do it!

Help! Help!

Step aside!

Yassine?

Yassine? Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Do not worry, your mate is here.

Oh, fuck.

Thank you, sir.

Allow me, I will help you.

Thanks.

It's good now.

Are you okay?

Yes, thanks.

Hello, Daoud.

My dough?

Give me a bit more time.

I got a job at a construction site, I can get it back.

So do not forget my dough, you motherfucker!

Stop standing here, get out!

Wait ...

- You borrowed dough from Daoud? - Yeah.

- Are you stupid? - I didn't have any choice!

And why did you do it?

Well, isn't he brave?

Brave? It's all bullshit!

You are worse than kids in my class.

I'm not a child.

Fred, you never worked. You don't have a job. You have no money.

I messed up.

I wanted a man.

Sorry, I lost you. How to explain what kind of a man...

Someone ... a bit like you.

Someone like you, but who also travels, has a job, and wants a family.

And, Fred,

I want to get married with you.

I like the T-shirt you have on.

Really?

- You look very sexy in it. - Really? What are you doing?

- Are we on? - Sure.

- Oh, wow.

INVITATION for cocktails in an honor of Walter Gropius.

Yassine Tchoukliba!

What are you doing these days?

Working for a Qatari construction company.

- Super! - And you? What are you doing?

I changed my life radically. I am a police officer at the crime squad

here in Paris.

Come, let's enjoy a joint!

I caught two Arabs with this.

- I don't smoke. - Are you sure?

Sure. I'll go get a soda and then come back.

What's new with you, girls?

We got married.

Congratulations! And are you here with your men?

What a dick!

The two of us got married, right?

You two ... you two got married?

Yes. Exactly.

That's not so bad.

"It's not so bad?"

Well, see you, Yassine.

Sure, cheers.

- Good evening, Yassine. - Hey, Stan.

Did I hear correctly? Do you work for Qataris?

Yes, I'm working on the big buildings.

Always so talented.

- Hey, Stan. - Hello...

I was appointed as a financial director at Clyde and Borrow.

I want to offer you a job.

I want to get an important Qatari customer.

They bought up a lot of Paris, but they have quite particular taste.

I could use a person like you.

I expect you wake up, not like at the tests!

- Can you, Mathias? - Of course.

Call me?

Yassine?

Claire?

I'm sorry, I got confused.

No, it's me.

Claire?

Wow!

Well, you don't look... actually you are still beautiful.

And you finally showed up.

Yes.

- I'm sorry for that night. - No. Actually, the opposite.

I have to thank you, it was the best thing that happened to me.

This night opened my eyes and I took my life into my own hands.

Really?

I lost 30 kilos and got a dream job. What more can I ask for?

Yassine? Here I am!

Good...

I will not keep you.

I know very well that you don't like when the world has to wait.

Have a nice evening.

Good evening.

Did something happen?

I'm fine.

And hopefully I'll have a job.

And your documents?

Oh, fuck!

Well, it's not that important, he wants me, I'll tell him the truth.

I thought the truth doesn't always work.

So long, Yassine.

- Are you going already? - It is not that bad.

Fred!

Yes?

Come and live with me, bro.

What?

Let's get married.

- How can you ask that of me? - You will save my life!

Aha!

Lisa was right.

You are a fag.

What?

Well, clearly, I have not seen with a girl, you studied decoration ...

Architecture!

Lisa will be pleased that you finally admit it.

Can you stop it?

We'll get married and divorced, just to get the documents!

Your life will not change, but I, on the other hand ...

Of course, you're my best friend,

- and also my first fag ... - I'm not a fag!

Well, if you say so...

How can you even ask something like this? Lisa wants me to ask her.

If we get married ...

then I cannot marry her sooner then ...

Well, okay.

Well, you know, I 'll do it for you.

Thanks, bro!

No problem, fag.

Did I not tell you I am not a fag? Don't you understand?

Please, come with me.

- Okay. - Thank you.

The Qataris want to build

a five star hotel by the Paris zoo.

For 100 million.

You know their taste, culture,

customs, djellaba, and all that.

I am going to be lucky with you.

You will have to work in a team though.

I like it! I am good at teamwork!

But note, I can work on my own too!

Sure.

I wanted to talk to you.

What is he doing here?

Claire, he ...

- I will not work with him. - Okay.

Then he will work with Quentin.

What?

We got the offer only thanks to me.

Fine!

I have no idea what's her problem.

Hamid, get rid of the pipe.

I told you already.

Not in the class.

Last one.

I have it against the stress, ma'am.

Good and now:

What did the author want to share when he says:

"Wesh easy - Wesh Morray,

"Pack your head bowers that annoy even your mother."

Here, madam, I remember! Just a peek into my notes.

It's a.. megalofon.

No, that's wrong, not at all. Someone else?

It's a metaphor which means: Pack up and get out!

Exactly!

Excuse me.

I'll be right back. Hamid, take care of the class.

What are you doing here? Are you sick?

No, I'm good.

- I just wanted to tell you something. - Did you find work?

No, it's not that.

Do you agree with marriage?

Actually, yes,

but...

That's her man?

Ooh, I am like that guy!

And I am also really well fed, she would not have to worry with me.

They argue .. they quarrel!

This marriage is just another excuse so you don't have to look for a job, Fred?

Really? You talk to him! And I'll go look for a job.

You'll do anything so you don't have to marry me.

This is not about you, Lisa.

I do love you.

And after this marriage, I'll marry you!

Fred, as long as I live,

that marriage will not happen!

I am asking you, Mr. Yassine Tchoukliba,

do you take this man here

Mr. Frederic Philippe Mauritius

Marcel Marval?

Yes.

And you, Mr. Frederic Philippe

Maurice Marcel Marval

do you take this man here

Mr. Yassine Tchoukliba?

If you let me, I want to say a few words ..

Yassine

my sweetie,

I love you like the skin loves the sun,

I love you like the hair loves the wind,

I love you like bumblebee loves tulip,

I love you like Romeo loved Juliet,

but without dying in the end ...

I love that you love me too.

It's a new opening for us ...

I thought that occasionally as a couple

we have to sacrifice something ...

for love.

I love you.

Well ...

So?

I'm sorry ... Yes .. yes.

I now pronounce you husband and husband.

You can kiss!

Yes, dear, we should ...

You can pop the champagne!

We can also pop the cherry!

And can I begin to work now?

Sure ...

Yes!

- Thanks for coming in. - Leave me alone.

- Congratulations, Yassine. - Thanks!

Do not forget it's temporary!

Do you want to destroy my life?

If you could gather around, I would like a photo.

Go on!

Super!

A royal feast!

How could I refuse, Mrs Tchoukliba?

And tonight Madam Tchoukliba

will organize a party for her man!

What the hell are you talking about?

Do you think that you are a bigger man than me?

I'm stronger than you!

Hi ...

Don't let me disturb you...

How are you, Rachid?

How are you?

- Is everything okay, Daoud? - Not at all!

Three times 400, how much do you owe me?

1200.

The total is 1500! Three times 400, how much do you owe me?

1500?

As soon as they pay me at work, I'll pay off everything.

But hurry before I hurt you!

That's a lovely dog.

You know that he likes you too? On Saturday, you will take care of him.

I will be car racing.

So you will take care of him, or I'll beat you up!

- Have a nice day. - You too ...

That will teach you to drink from my bottle!

I'll order a pizza. Do you want some too?

No, thanks.

Is everything okay between us?

And why not?

You are right.

We can build on solid foundations. Now we work together.

Not at all.

We do not work together.

You work for me.

I work for you?

I work for you?

Yes.

Oh well, I work for you.

And I said, "I work for you?" "I work for you?"

Forget it ...

- you let her have it. - Yeah, yeah.

Did you see how good she looks now?

Not at all! I'm concentrating on the job.

Let me go!

No!

That man is mad!

He will never leave you alone!

Let me go!

Let's get out of here!

Tchoukliba! Marval!

Such a shame! I do not like cheaters!

What would we come to? And what about the Republic?

And patriotism, right?

Stand, children of the motherland, ...

I know what patriotism is.

I fought in Iraq.

In the Legion.

- Really? - Yes, and now let's look at you.

Is it a fake marriage?

No.

No.

I experienced a fake marriage.

Olga Popova, she was 21.

When you look at a photo, you tell yourself, "What a perfect couple!"

Yes?

To my surprise it turned out, she married me for documents.

No!

I understood it.

And I said to myself. It must not happen ever again!

So ...

is it a fake marriage?

No.

No.

Born...

Splendid.

That's it for today.

But we will see each other soon.

It's just about fooling the inspector.

If we let ourselves get caught,

I'll be fucked, thrown out of work, sent to prison and deported to Morocco.

Go and see who's ringing.

You are really so nervous, and I just got started!

Hello, Agent Dussart.

- Hello. - Hello.

Hello. Agent Dussart!

Yassine?

- What? - Can you come here?

May I enter?

That is, if you have nothing to hide ...

Not in a least bit!

Excuse me.

Of course.

- One toothbrush? - Yes, we share everything.

Yes.

A single bed?

- Why? - We like to sleep very close to each other.

- It's more practical to make love like that. - We love each other.

We do it this way.

Or like this ...

Wait, he is gone.

- Gone away. - Are you sure?

And you know each other ...

- One year. _ One year.

Do you have any plans together?

- Yes. -Yes.

In a few years, if we save enough money,

we dream about buying a farm and having herd of cattle.

Cattle and which one?

- Goats. - Horses.

Horses or goats?

Of course goats.

- Why do you always have to decide! - And do you have any other plans?

Yes...

I would like to get pregnant.

It's my dream.

Okay.

Oh, we didn't offer you anything to drink ...

Coffee? Mojito?

Maybe some other time?

- Okay. - Goodbye.

Hello?

Hello, my colleague.

I am responsible for Yassine Tchoukliba,

who comes from our village. He married Frederic Marvel.

Can you tell me if he was ever married?

I'll check the central records. Wait a moment and don't hang up.

Zouleikha?

What?

Have you married Tchoukliba's boy yet?

Tchoukliba? No and I will not wait.

He will be glad. He got married in France.

Negative, my dear colleague.

He is not married here.

Thank you, my dear colleague.

And please give my sincere congratulations to that boy.

Oh, he hung up already.

He will not leave us alone!

Calm down and all will be fine.

Lisa?

Yes?

Are we authentic?

No.

So we think the same.

You're my husband and tonight you will sleep here!

- What? - What?

No, no, no, no. That is not happening.

- It's only for a few days. - No, Fred, and I sleep together.

Do you think I am enjoying this?

It's mad, but at least one day and night.

Fred?

Yes?

Are you not going to say something?

Do you want to sleep here or not?

Well, okay.

I can't believe it.

- No, Lisa, do not go! - Lisa, come back!

I'm sorry.

Relax, it will be okay. Take it!

We'll learn to be authentic,.

- You took the dog from the blind guy? - We'll fit here with Chopin.

- You think? - Sure, queers love dogs.

What's going on, my little Chop? Did you get up on the wrong side of bed?

You're a bad boy!

You're a bad boy, Chop! Bad!

How was Daoud when you borrowed money from him?

He was cool when I took the dog. But we have to find the money by September.

And you are supposed to return the dog.

To be credible,

we must learn our behavior patterns and mutual synergy.

And when we're sure, we will watch out.

- You see, it was good to take Chopi! - Yeah, good work.

Check it out!

- The same clothes. - The same clothes!

and look at these .. a mixed couple!

Like us!

I'm really happy!

And we are so stylish!

Do you like it, Chop?

And now let Dussart say that we are straight ...

Hi, darlings.

Super Saturday party in the "Toolbox".

We are waiting for you.

We're totally straight!

Hey, what is this?

Don't you have a husband?

Seriously?

Oh fuck!

Stop!

You caught Chopi!

Stop!

Stop!

Cho ...

Cho?

Cho ...

Yassine?

Do not worry, your brother is here.

My head hurts ..

Hold on. Do not be afraid, my bichon.

What?

That's what I said to Chopi.

And what are are going to tell the blind guy?

You heard what the vet said.

A little bit of rest and he will be able to sit on his butt again.

Anyway, he is not going to notice ...

Sorry, Chop. Your dad was a bad master!

I promise, I'll never do it again!

- That's nice, what is it? - The Qatari project.

Aha.

Are you laughing at your testicles?

No?

You should.

It should add one centimeter in length.

So, Claire ...

Rome, this weekend. Both of us. What do you think?

I will think it over.

Seriously?

We are making progress!

I'll let you work.

Is he after you?

Sorry, it's none of my business.

Formally... yes.

- Do you have plans of the hall?

Yes.

I even drew different proposal. Do you want to take a peek?

You are not here to take over.

Stan and I lead the project.

Hello.

I'd like to see Mr. Tchoukliba.

- Mr. Tchoukliba, do you have a moment? - No, actually, yes ... but only a minute.

- Can we get some coffee? - Okay.

So ... how are you doing?

Super! I feel great.

Honestly... my boss doesn't know I'm gay and that I am married!

How so?

Because he is gay too and if he finds out, he will never leave me alone.

- Is everything okay, Yassine? - Everything is great.

Can I introduce you to Mr. Dussart, he is from the city hall.

Mr. Dubreuil, my employer.

- Nice to meet you. - Hello.

Strong, impressive muscle.

- Do you play squash? - No no no.

Could I ask you about something?

Why not. I will try to satisfy you. Come to my office.

Aren't you a bit tense, Mr. Dussart?

Oh no, no.

But it looks that way, so let me give you a massage, it will relax you.

I can feel the spot of great tension.

I will have to go, I have all I needed, excuse me.

Are you leaving?

He sounded nice.

Very.

TOOLBOX

- Good evening. - Good evening.

Aren't you that guy who fell on the boat?

Is it possible.

That was fun, mate!

Thanks.

Okay, you can go in.

"Dance, if you are a guy." Do you see it?

Can I give you a BJ?

No, thank you, sir, you're nice.

Leave him alone!

This is not a sex club!

- He didn't mean it badly. - He did nothing wrong.

Is that your group?

No, my husband.

- Want a blow job? - Fuck what did I tell you?

Get ou!

Darling, should I get you a glass?

I will be very happy.

- Did you come to dance? - Dussart!

Good evening, friends.

I'm Dave!

My kitties, do not forget!

Saturday .. 29th, our annual competition.

"Dance like a man"

So who wants to conquer the champions of love

and become a couple of the year?

I'd like a place and loud welcome for Marc and Christophe!

Who dares to compete?

Who should be the couple of the year?

The contestants have been chosen!

It's Patrice Lovely and Chuck Norris and a loud applause please!

Music!

No! Stay like this for a moment!

Dussart!

Dussart is here!

Lisa? What are you doing here?

If Dussart finds you here, I'm a dead man!

Go and hide in the closet!

- You mean me? - Hurry!

Shit, you're pain in the ass.

Hurry and put it on.

Hurry!

Yes, I'm coming!

Darling, somebody's at the door!

Just a moment, just two seconds, two seconds ..!

Well, well.

Go there, go there!

It'll be there in a minute!

Mother?

Mum ... It's my mum!

Mom?

- Are you sure you are happy to see me? - Certainly. I am glad to see you.

Are you not ashamed?

For what?

Because of that marriage? Did you think I will not find out?

Even our village heard of it!

Wait, let me explain everything!

What will you explain?

Where is she?

Who?

Your wife!

My wife?

Frederique!

- My wife, Frederic. - Well, yes.

She is here.

Right here.

- Hello. - Darling, I want you to meet my mother.

This is your mother in law.

Aha ... oh, yes!

Hello ... Mum.

Why is he in the closet?

Well, because Yassine ...

he likes everything tidy, so I was cleaning up ..

That's right, my girl.

Finally, I meet you!

Well, you are so pretty!

- Well, I'm so glad for my son. - Thank you.

- Me too. - And me too.

- How did you even get here, Mum? - By car.

I forgot to tell him goodbye.

- Are you an imbecile or what? - I did not know she would come.

- That you didn't know, doesn't mean you aren't one! - And where's Fred?

I do not know!

You can go. Thank you and bye. And bon voyage.

It must be a miracle! Come here my little piggie!

I ham not abig.

You're my piggie and ready to go!

- We will have our party! - Party?

- You will know what love is! - Ih don'tant!

You didn't tell me because she is French?

No, Mum, it was not because she is French.

You look so happy and it looks like you really love each other.

- Oh yes. - Does he treat you well?

Almost hard to believe. It changed my life!

- You changed my life. - Yeah, yeah.

And now let's prepare the wedding.

- What wedding? - The one in Morocco! Everyone is looking forward to it.

I want to have a royal like wedding.

I cannot afford such a thing.

You didn't tell me I might have a royal wedding!

You don't have to for pay anything. The whole family have contributed.

Even your sister Mesquina added her last paycheck.

Mesquina ...

Well, yes, yes, yes, yes!

What happened, you're pale as a ghost!

What things I saw ...!

And why did you get the idea to get into a sado outfit!

Wake up, you are full of cliches!

To be gay is not to be Village People,

leather outfits and puppies.

You are right.

Thank you!

I told my mother that you are my homeless friend.

And your name is Yves.

And when Dussart returns, you will always be with me.

The name Yves sucks!

Behave like men!

And I have a much better idea.

Will you tell the truth?

No, it is not possible... no, no, no! My family would never understand.

Lisa, you're Frederik and keep Dussart away from my mother.

And you, my brother. Dussart can't see my mum.

Oh no, I can't do this anymore.

The name Yves is really weird.

Thank you, mates.

Hello, aren't you late?

Go, go, go!

My name is Hamid and I stuff my face

Sa-lads, to-ma-to-es, o-ni-ons...

Hamid, Hamid!

- Please, Hamid! - I love you.

Please be quiet for a while

Dylan?!

Did I not tell you not to play with the knives in the class?

It's getting annoying.

It's not mine, it's Tarek.

No, you say: "This is Tarek's."

It is not a knife, it's a butterfly.

And stop bugging me or I'll fuck your mother.

Enough with the metaphors.

Please do not .. be so loud.

- There's some lady here. - Pardon?

- Lady. - Oh.

Nobody moves, is that clear?

Watch your mouth!

- Bend your head! Bend your head! - I am leading, bro.

What are you doing, I'm working.

- It must be done, because of the guests. - Can't you put if off?

- Tell me if it smells good. - Yes, it smells good.

- They are quite lively! - They are, but ...

they work well.

- You see? - Oh yes!

- See? They are completely thrilled! - It is true.

Did you think about what kind of a dress you would like to have at the wedding?

Yes, I wanted to have something like ..

- Well, I mean 2 or 3 models .. - Well, I just ...

Look.

These are designed for brides.

Still alone?

What?

I see that you still have the pendant.

Aha...

Yes.

Or maybe you are gay.

What ?.. Why do you think so?

Thank you for the invitation ...

and the accommodation.

Sure!

Invitation for what?

To my weekend house in the country.

So let's go to work!

And first, second, third, and fourth, fifth, and sixth, seventh, eighth!

First, second, third, fourth, fifth ...

Shit, you don't keep the rhythm!

The competition is in two weeks!

Now let's try the lift. Concentrate.

Okay.

... five, six, seven, .. lift!

First, second, hold me firmly

Yassine, watch out ...

Hello.

Daoud, how are you?

So you are fags?

What?

Show us respect, Daoud. Show us respect.

- Don't take me for a fool! - Do you have any ideas about gays?

What is that supposed to be?

It's .. it's ..

something else.

- Let us explain. - I too am gay!

- What? - What?

I like guys.

I love them!

Damn, I am gay!

Fuck, I like .. why ?!

Well, that's okay ..

Don't touch me, fag! And return the 1700 Euros.

Plus the 300 that your boyfriend borrowed!

I am so relieved. now that I told you.

I could not tell anyone at all. Now I finally feel good.

- And we can continue practicing Thaibox. - Shit, I like balls !!

And a bit of muay-thai ...

Wow!

We are waiting for you.

Yes...

just come.

- Are you okay? - Yes. - Yes.

I thought you were telling me. I am sorry.

- So, are you ready? - Yes.

Okay. So Fred likes ...

Playing on Playstation, sleeping on the left, massaging my head.

perfumes, quick-drying gel, puppies and horses.

Yassine likes ...

sleeping on the right, peeing with the door open, his job,

meddling into other people's relationships, according to his mother.

That's what I said.

And his favorite architect is

- Jean Nouvea. - Nouvel.

Is that a woman?

What is the best place for a honeymoon?

Peru, I saw a wonderful document about Machu Picchu.

Perfect!

Last birthday gift you've received?

- PSG print cover. - What a stupid gift!

Lisa gave me one like that.

- You did not like my gift? - It is not like that...

- And what kind of a gift you gave to me? - But I don't have a job.

Exactly. If you poured your energy into finding a job

- and not into playing gays ... - Hey, kids!

Frederique, just take a look at what pearls I picked for your wedding dress...

- Exactly what I wanted. - Enjoy them.

This is so exciting!

Wait ...

those are for the wedding dress?

I worked with what I had!

Do they also have it in chocolate? I do not like almonds.

It is not possible, it's gone too far!

It can not go on!

And his wife is so charming. Simply perfect!

And work, Yassine ... is really important here.

Bravo, that's my son.

But he is doing viaducts.

And this is what her dress will look like.

Both are fantastic!

I am really proud of him.

And tomorrow...

he has a big presentation at work.

Our project combines elements of modernity and passion, for visitors ...

- Hello? - There will be a possibility ...

No, I'm not interested in Rihanna! I said Beyonce!

Beyonce .. I want her!

Add two millions, it's his birthday after all!

So, gentlemen ...

We invest our money with the utmost care, and your ... project

lacks ambition.

But it combines the new with the old!

Nothing original.

How about buying a football club?

So fast ...

No, wait, please let my colleague explain the technical specifics.

Yassine used to work for the Qataris.

Your face seemed familiar.

Listen, I fully understand that you may not like this project of ours.

However, we worked on a second draft, which is closer to your expectations.

Believe me!

No, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, believe me, I'm sorry.

This is a virus, it's a virus.

It is forbidden!

- Sorry, sorry, sorry. - It is forbidden!

Gentlemen, I end this meeting.

Don't you understand that it is forbidden, Yassine ?!

No and now listen to me!

I worked for a Qatari corporation,

Which is close enough to you!

And there's a lot of illegal work!

Do you want to blackmail us?

Listen to me for at least two minutes!

Your customers will experience unbelievable things.

And in the middle of wilderness in Paris!

Thanks.

Now look at the first drawing.

It is a project that fits perfectly with the current dynamic of Paris .

And thanks to its modernity.

The space shows the actual ...

Who were those guys with the paddles?

- It was just spam! - Spam? Well ...

- Is it true! - No, it was yours.

How did you think of that?

- Why do you have something like that on a laptop? - It was a fairy tale.

I love this project.

Was it your idea, Yassine?

No.

We came up with it together.

Good...

Strike the iron while it's hot.

- A rest of the plans? - I have them at home.

Then we shouldn't waste time.

I'll accompany you.

What ... right now?

Hello, sir ... Mr. Dussart, a government agent.

I need your flat in a matter of a state investigation.

Although I'm blind, I'll say this to you calmly, eye to eye, goodbye, sir.

Chopi, did you see what I told him?

- Let me show you how it works. - Yes?

And I'll give you the recipe.

I need an empty flat right away. Do not let my mum to be there.

Give me a minute, and I'll take care of it.

Tell him we can't.

The boss of that shop was good.

What a moron!

And it is done.

You're completely mad!

And why?

You messed it up!

Are you okay? Sorry about that. We'll go to the pharmacy.

It does not matter how long it will last. I have you by the throat, Tchoukliba.

But no, Chop, how come you ate my sandwich?

What have I told you?

What have I told you?

What a naughty boy!

Don't you know how much effort it is for daddy to make a sandwich?

COME AND LICK MY ASS FLAT 1 B

Chop!

Come on in.

Oh, shit!

It's not what you think! I live here with my colleague, who is gay.

Okay...

Is that the house of your parents? Is it finished?

No, not yet.

But if we win the Qatari project, I'll be able to finish it.

Why did you leave me?

Was I too fat?

You weren't too fat.

Why then did the whole school call me 'hippo'?

You were always beautiful for me.

Aha...

Here in Morocco ...

we love hippos, we have some snuff in golden hippo statues.

You were ashamed of me.

I was ashamed of myself.

I didn't get a diploma.

And I lost all the documents.

- I could not stay with you. - So you simply left me?

Where is the proposal?

You little bastard, I've got you!

Someone is here! Chop!

Get him!

Chopi?

It's not in my room.

-Are you hiding something there? - I'm not ...

Sorry.

I have to go.

Oh no ...

Shit!!!

What have you done to Chopi?

He jumped from the balcony, your Chopi!

One cannot work like this!

Chopi!

Mum .. what happened?

Not much, I hit my head ...

and knee?

What?

It's nothing, nothing, I'm fine.

I bought all this for my son.

Stop with this, you've barely begun.

But we had an opportunity!

Mum, I don't want a stag party!

But I invited everyone, even your colleagues.

Oh, wait ...

- You also sent invitations to the office? - Sure!

Do you think that Frederique and I will wait?

- Frederique, come ... - Yes.

I found it interesting to serve candy with motives of Paris.

I did my best. Really.

Is she joking?

Why isn't there anyone?

Is it just me working here, or what?

Don't move!

If you move, you're dead!

If you scream ...

you're dead to him ??!

When you are dead...

you're dead.

Yassine?

What?

I can see you, Yassine.

Stan!

Stanoeve!

This is because I worked all night on the budgets.

And I thought you were a thief.

I needed to assure myself.

Oh, okay.

Go and rest.

Because of the Qataris.

Sure...

I'm going.

Okay.

Hello.

Hello.

You are an early bird!

Yes.

About last night...

To be honest... We shouldn't have kissed.

You cannot just snap your fingers to make it better two years after the breakup.

We are simply colleagues ...

and that's it.

Okay.

And as a colleague, do you want to come this weekend?

Absolutely, yes...

I'd like to, but ...

Currently, it's complicated.

Okay.

I wanted to go with Yassine to Peru.

- I saw a super programme about Machu Picchu. - Listen to me, Mr. Marval.

What I have to say, is not exactly easy ...

But you have to be strong.

Mr. Tchoukliba..

is toying with you.

What do you mean?

Based on my observations, I have no doubt about your homosexuality ...

but he, on the contrary, he ...

is a heterosexual.

It is not possible! He always wants ...

Well, certain individuals are very good in pretending, Mr Marval.

But I promise you, I'll see to it.

Hello.

I am sorry.

Have you heard about Machu Picchu?

It is in Peru.

What's going on?

Are you seeing a woman?

So what?

Don't lie, you are sweating like a pig.

You don't look at me as before!

What?

And now, who is that woman?!

Did she jump off a bridge for you?

- Stop behaving like an idiot. - He saw you with her.

Shouldn't we act like gays?!

So what are we?

Gay.

Exactly, I'm gay, you are gay, we are gay.

Gay, gay, gay!

Gay ...

Gaaaa y gawww...

d...

How you doing, bro?

You leave me no other choice, Tchoukliba.

And it's done, my daughter.

- You can give them a try. - No, I'm not ready yet.

Try, try, try, try, try, try, try!

Hello, my caramel ..

Hello.

I'm sorry for my being honest, but I think

that Arabs are very beautiful.

You are a dear, but I'm not interested.

I like when men resist.

And I often I say no,

but when I say no,

it is often yes.

yes...

yes, yes ...

But I'm gay.

Hello, mademoiselle.

As you can see, I'm an Arab.

No, thanks.

When you say no, it means yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

I said no and mean no!

We are all the same.

We always cry when we try on the wedding dress.

Fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth!

Damn, I'm hot!

You know what?

This is the first time ever than I am good in something.

I'm really proud of myself!

I have a great motivation!

I really believe in myself for that competition!

I have to go away during that weekend.

What weekend?

That one with Claire.

Hope you don't miss something because of that woman.

And what if the inspector shows up?

I'll risk it.

You are confused!

Let's see if the judges don't laugh!

And what about my 3000 Euros?

Don't go anywhere!

You had a fight?

He doesn't deserve you.

Daoud, what are you doing?

I am married!

I have to go.

Your perfume smells nice.

Can you walk well with that corset, Chopi?

Well yes, nice Chopi.

Tchoukliba!

One euro, I beg you.

For that child, sir.

Please...

Yassine?

Eventually I made time.

Super!

Better than super!

So come on in, everyone is here.

Now I'm going to do pork skewers.

I hope you don't mind, ham is in it too.

There's nest with the young ones. They are so cute!

So I am here.

Hello, Yassine!

That's great that you came.

These are for you.

Thank you.

Make yourself at home.

Did you see them there? They are nightingales.

Bravo!

It is quite windy though.

Claire, do you want to try?

I'm on it!

So ...

The main thing is to stand properly.

Flexibility is the key.

You must spread your legs.

Wait! I will try it.

- Seriously? - Yes.

I have a little space here.

You shot into the nest, this is impossible!

- Pardon, pardon! - Don't get close!

If they absorbe a strange odour,

their mother will leave.

They're hungry.

Seb?

- Seb, can you hand me a spoon? - Yes, here.

And it is done.

That's cute!

Bravo!

I'm going to look after some bananas.

That was great.

DUSSART!

Stop with the chase!

It makes me sick!

I can't take it anymore!

- Let my mother go! - It's not your mother, that's a guy!

He has false breasts!

Oh, no, they are real.

What an idiot!

Oh, Claire, who is this guy?

I'm quite confused.

- It is not easy to understand ... - Get out, Yassine!

Yes, mum?

Son, Mr. Dussart is here. Don't worry. I'll take care of him.

What ? No! Don't say anything to him! I'll be right there!

Splendid, well ... let's do it.

So ...

How do you get along with Frederic?

Very well, she's very nice.

"She"?

Yes.

With Frederique.

How did Yassine tell you?

At first, he hid it.

And you accepted it?

It is not easy for us. We don't have any mixed couples at home.

The most important thing is though that my son is happy.

If he wants to marry Frederique, then he must be in love a lot.

Dessert?

No, thank you.

- Where is Dussart? - He just left.

What did he say?

He asked a lot of questions. And I replied to all of them.

- What did he look like? - He looked very happy.

He said he would call me.

He will also call you.

You're here ?!

Finally, you're here?

Obviously you have no idea about the competition, how important it's for me.

I've got something to say.

I'd rather you not say anything. I'm tired of your stories.

Do you think I enjoy it?

I did it because of your documents!

Don't expect anything more from me!

It doesn't matter anymore. Dussart got me.

It's useless.

I don't want to push you, but this should be signed before the banks close.

- In five minutes ... - Yes.

So...

That's him!

I recognize him.

That's that idiot, who jumped from a bridge in the youtube video.

- Yeah. That's that idiot. - Sure, I recognized him. Hey!

Will you come to my son's birthday?!

All my children love you! Mohamed, Nadia, Sonia,

Ahmed, Hafid.

- Samir. - And Samir!

- So where did we end? - It is here.

Super!

- Super, sir. - The same for you.

It's nice to return to a place of our first kiss.

It is true.

Stop, stop, stop!

- Why? - Dussart could be here.

Fred ...

Don't you think we should talk?

Not now, darling.

Bravo to you both.

At work you made a name for yourself.

And certainly bonus will come your way.

I knew that we will understand each other.

After all...

How about a glass of something?

You can build your family house now!

Come on, a little glass ...?

Claire, did you get my messages?

Please let me explain.

Crazy things happen to me!

I don't know what got into me!

Leave me be!

Hippo!

This is for the hippo, this is for my mother,

and it is for that you left me!

Give me one more for what I'm gonna do.

They say we too should be happy.

Are you not going say something?

Is everything okay between us?

I am not happy, you are not happy...

Sometimes you're my boyfriend, sometimes you're not my boyfriend.

Yes, but ...

But what?

It's kind of strange, what is happening to us.

I will always love you, Fred.

But we are not a couple anymore.

- Are you saying ... - This is the end!

Shut up so we can watch!

What do you really want from me, Yasinne?

I want you back.

To leave me again?

Now, when we are back together ...

one thing is clear to me.

That you're my happiness.

Yassine, This is Fred. Answer if you are there.

Your mother is looking for you.

She has an appointment with Dussart.

I'm really sorry ...

for last night.

I want you to come ...

Husbands must help each other.

And we are what?

We are fags!

I'm in "Toolbox".

I'm counting on you.

Hey, bro.

Just relax, you can manage just fine even without the other one!

Hello?

What? Again, you drank from my bottle?

Tell him I'm coming right away!

I'm gonna fuck him up. And his father, his mother ...

No, not his mother. His brother!

His cousin, his friends. Simply all of them!

Hello, are you waiting for someone?

Did you know Dussart will be here?

What ?

- Of course, you came because of him, right? - I don't care that Dussart is here.

I came because of you, my brother.

The contest is important for you.

- Really? - Sure.

- Because of me? - Absolutely!

I spoke with Dussart. It's not yet closed. The documents are yours, it's good.

How is it possible ?

It's good, I swear, it's good!

- He believed us. - Really?

Yes.

I will never forget what you did for me. This evening is ours, we will give it our all.

A big applause for the cowboys from Ouarzazate.

- Why are we here? - And now everyone get yourself together,

to give a wild welcome to naughty Yassine and provocative Fred!

Please.

Please.

Stop, stop, please.

I don't deserve your applause.

I lied.

Mr. Dussart, I was never gay.

No, no, such a pity!

So courageous to tell the truth.

I'm also straight.

But like dicks.

Mother,

I've never been married to Frederique. Her name is Lisa ...

and she is Yves' girlfriend,

and he is my best friend ...

Fred.

Claire.

I was an imbecile and I never should have lied to you.

I got quite entangled in it.

I blame myself that you had to suffer.

I understand if you never want to see me again, but there is one thing you should know.

I was always sincere, when it came to my emotions.

I love you.

Oh, this is so pathetic.

Go on! Go after her. So you can be together again.

Run!

Go on!

Move!

Cut them off!

- Don't let the fuzz pass! - I want to blow you!

I want to blow you, please!

Claire!

Move and you'll get tasered!

Yassine, how are you, man?

- You know him? - That's Yassine!

Good bye to you, gentlemen!

Follow me, we can catch him!

Come on, we need to get him!

Yassine, stop!

Stop!

Stop!

Don't move!

Claire?

Handcuff him, put handcuffs on him!

We'll take him right away.

Go there!

Hurry!

You almost got me, Tchoukliba!

- Let's finish! - Get him in!

Fast.

Come on, tilt your head.

Take care, Yassine. See you soon, my friend.

Tchoukliba!

You can come out.

Claire?

Allahu akbar.

What?

Allahu akbar.

- Here, my son. - Thank you, Mum.

Yassine, it's over with France.

There is nothing good for you here.

France welcomed me here.

And she gave me genuine friends.

And ...

I found my true love.

I messed up everything.

I was afraid I would disappoint you.

I love you, son.

And I'm proud of you, always.

- Thank you, Mum. - Drink your coffee before it gets cold.

Courage, son, courage!

Come and help me with the boxes.

It wasn't easy to find you.

- Do you want help with that? - Fred?

What are you doing here?

I came for my alimony.

You didn't call or anything.

Do you think that's normal?

I know, I'm sorry, my friend.

Do not worry, I got money from Daoud.

Something new about Claire? Is she well?

Why don't you ask her yourself?

I came to Morocco to see if they like hippos.

And I should count them.

Praise Allah. Start the music! It's for my son's wedding!

Hello.

Did you not get married?

You should think about it.

We did.

Is it true?

- Did you find wives? - Not that.

The two of us we got married ...

together.

That's not so bad.

Thank you.

Okay, now take this and put it on the table.

Thank you very much. Hamid, three hookas for that group back there, okay?

Can I also have a go? Just a little?

How are you?

Fine.

It looks fabulous here.

Thank you.

I found a new job. I like to organize weddings.

And would you like to organize ours?

Well ... actually ... yes.

With pleasure.

- And while at it, would you like to ... - Be a witness?

- Is that it? - Yes.

Okay.

Thank you!

- Thanks, Lisa. - Thanks.

Thanks.

I will destroy that wedding!

Come, Chopi.

Everyone is so happy.

That's because everyone is together.

Okay, so let's do it!

If you tell me the truth, we'll save some time.

Well?

Have you got married because of documents?

A paper marriage?

Well?

Did you go to Morocco to have fun?

Stayed in a hotel in Ryad, lie about at the spa, eat well. Well?

No, not at all.

We came for here, so we can open an architect's studio.

No, really?

Are you unemployed? France doesn't have enough work?

So please kindly listen,

Morocco has no obligation to welcome all the poor in the world.

No!

Is that clear?

Understood?

I'll watch you!

Like a lion watches a deer.

Like a cheetah watches an antelope.

Like a monkey chasing another monkey.

A female monkey!

I, who is called "Jackal from Dusseldorf!"

That's why I'm in this office!

And that's why I have this tie!

I'm not here by accident!

I'm a wild beast.

And so ..

Vehicle's registration and proof of insurance, please.

"Jackal from Dusseldorf!"