Original subtitles

"You think you're better

Than everyone else?"

So I go, "well, pretty much,

Yeah," which was just

Me being...

Tori, come on!

Did you not see me fall down

In the parking lot?

It was very funny.

I wasn't trying to be...

Oh, the new play roster!

Hold my coffee.

Move.

These are so good.

Don't spill that.

Now, what's so good?

The list of plays

For this semester.

Oh my God, I am perfect

For all these.

Is "moonlight magic"

On there?

Yeah, number four, why?

Andre wrote the music for it.

He wants me to try out

For the lead.

You? Why?

Take your coffee and go.

Oh, somebody fell down

On the wrong side

Of the parking lot.

Need some help?

Yes.

Interesting.

And you're saying

That movie's not scary?

No, I'm saying

It's not as scary as tofu.

Why are you always

Rippin' on tofu?

'Cause it tastes like snot.

And snot does not taste good.

Hey, look who's here.

Hey, can you guys help me?

Sure.

Just keep that over there.

Let's probably get

Some shelves or something.

There we go.

All set.

Thanks.

Never put me down

Like that again.

I was helping Tori.

Get the gum off my forehead.

All right,

My locker is filled.

I feel complete.

Whoa, whoa, not yet.

What?

You gotta customize it.

Everyone at hollywood arts

Has to customize their locker.

Well, what'd you do for yours?

I made a mosaic using

All of the baby bottle nipples

From my childhood.

They remind me

Of a happier time.

Yours?

Check it out.

Follow those dreads.

Hey, Andre, Robbie!

That squirrel's back

In my office again.

I'll get the net.

I'll get the nuts.

I don't know what to do

With my locker.

Want to see my locker?

I guess.

These are pieces of food

That I chewed,

But never swallowed.

I spit them out, coated them,

With a polyurethane resin

And stuck them on here

With an industrial adhesive.

Betsy, betsy,

That animal's delicious flesh

Can keep us all alive

For another week.

I don't wanna be alive

Without poncy.

This pig is everything to me

That my daddy never was,

And I'll be ding danged.

Sikowitz?

What?

You hit me in the face

With a ball.

Oh, come on,

A truly great actor

Can stay in the scene

No matter what's happening

Around her.

But it really hurts.

Oh, lunch, yay.

Learn your lines.

I want everyone

Off book tomorrow.

Hey, you wanna

Come to lunch with us?

Sure, just lemme...aaah.

What was that for?

I'm not acting right now.

We need to chat.

And "Tori, can I see you?"

Wouldn't have worked?

Have fun.

Protect your face.

What's up?

I hear you signed up

To audition

For a play, "moonlight magic?"

Andre wrote the music for it

And he wants me

To play the lead.

You should.

But you can't?

Not until you pass

"The bird scene."

"The bird scene?"

Here at hollywood arts,

Every student must

Successfully complete

"The bird scene"

Before they can audition for any

And all school productions.

Hey sikowitz,

I forgot to ask you a question

About the homework.

Will we have...?

We'll never know

Her question.

Hey, you know

Where I could buy

A pair of ballet slippers?

No, I don't.

But I know where you can

Get yourself a pretty skirt

And some lip gloss.

Heh, heh, heh.

That was a good one, Beck.

Lip gloss.

Why do you need

Ballet slippers?

'Cause I signed up

For ballet.

Whoa, whoa,

Isn't that kinda girly?

Yep, just one big room

Full of girls, and me.

You guys picking up

What I'm putting down?

I am.

Pretty smooth.

I don't understand.

A lot of girls who dance,

All in one room, with him.

Would you mind

If maybe I signed up too?

Nah, go for it.

How about you, man?

Can't.

Me and Jade already signed up

For salsa dancing.

I can't eat salsa.

Why?

'Cause it hurts your stomach

And gives you nightmares?

No.

Yes.

Maybe.

Ready?

Drive-By acting exercise.

You're all angry englishmen.

Go.

I insist you tell me

Who sat on me crumpet.

My grandmummy went to the loo

While I snogged

The prime minister.

This flock of whipperwils

Is bothering my trousers.

Good heavens,

There's a dead cockroach

In my brassier.

Blimey.

Well, I told you

Not to put plum sauce

On me banger.

You, you, you...

All right, all right,

Very good, quiet down.

Now that we're all

Loosey and/or goosey,

The time has come

For our newest student

To tackle...

The bird scene.

Tori, the stage is yours,

Though you can't take it home.

Can I ask you a few question

Before I start?

So...

Just do your best.

Action.

Okay.

It was 1934

When my husband left me.

Alone, living on the prairie

Was a dreary existence.

No telephone, no radio.

Only a large, majestic bird

With whom I shared my feelings.

One day when I was feeling low,

I said to him,

"Oh bird, you can fly.

"You can soar miles

"From this lonely place,

"Yet you stay.

Why?"

And apparently,

My question rang true,

For that afternoon,

The bird left.

And so went my spirit.

How was that?

What do you mean?

Did I do the scene right?

No, not at all.

Okay, then what'd I do wrong?

You'll have to perform

The scene again tomorrow

And get it right,

Or else you cannot be

In Andre's play or any other.

But can you tell me

What I did wrong?

No, I can't.

I don't get any feedback?

That is correct.

But...

Drive-By acting exercise.

You're all terrified dolphins.

Go.

Live the fear.

Live the fear.

Come on.

How am I supposed to do

The scene right

If no one will tell me

What I did wrong?

I thought you guys

Were my friends.

I'm not your friend.

I was hoping

We could be more than friends.

Uh, it's so gross

How he's always hitting

On every girl.

I never hit on you.

What's that supposed to mean?

You guys...my problem.

Number one rule

Of the bird scene:

Nobody's allowed to help you.

No one.

So this is what you did

With your locker?

Yeah.

See, it's a dry erase board

With a bunch of colorful pens

In a convenient cup.

So whoever wants to,

Can write or draw

Whatever they want.

But you're supposed

To decorate it yourself.

It's a hollywood

Arts tradition.

Well, what's wrong

With letting other people

Be expressive on my locker?

Well, for one thing

They can do that.

Yeah?

Yeah, well my locker's smarter

Than your locker.

How can a locker be...

I don't know.

Oh, come on.

Somebody tell me

How to do the bird scene

Or I'm gonna cry.

Can't.

And don't be so whiny.

Yeah, man up.

Time for our first

Ballet class.

Oh, ballet.

I didn't know

I'd feel so awkward

Wearing tights.

These things squeeze me

In a bad way.

Yeah, you won't

Be complaining

When we're surrounded

By lady ballerinas.

Aw man, it's a dude ranch.

So, you ready?

Oh, I'm way past ready.

Sikowitz wants "the bird scene?"

I'm gonna give him

The bird scene.

I got props, I got a backdrop,

And just to kiss up a little,

I even got sikowitz

Two large coconuts.

Those are good ones.

What's the deal

With sikowitz and coconuts?

He says the milk

Gives him visions.

All right, we're here...

We have much to do today,

But first, Tori, the bird scene.

I'm ready.

And before I begin,

I'd like you to have

These two large coconuts.

Wonderful.

You know, their milk

Gives me visions.

I've heard.

Very good.

Everyone, pay attention.

Tori?

One sec.

Oh, a backdrop!

And I am ready.

Delightful.

Action.

It was 1934

When my husband left me.

Alone, living on the prairie

Was a dreary existence.

No telephone, no radio,

Only a large, majestic bird

With whom I shared my feelings.

One day when I was feeling low,

I said to him,

"Oh bird, you can fly.

"You can soar miles

"From this lonely place,

"Yet you stay.

Why?"

And apparently,

My question rang true,

For that afternoon,

The bird left.

And so went my spirit.

So, was that good?

Exactly what are you

Asking me?

You know, did you like

What I did with the scene?

Sure.

So did I get it right?

Oh no, you failed, again.

What? Why?

I did everything...

Hey, watch!

Where you throw your props.

Cat!

Hey!

You have to try something.

Handcuffs?

Huh, put 'em on one wrist.

Okay.

Good, and now we lock

The other part around here.

Fun.

Okay, now try these.

Ah, candy!

Mmmm, these are so...

So hot, what are these?

Choo-Choo peppers.

They're burning my mouth.

I know.

You want some water?

Yes.

Tell me the secret

Of the bird scene.

I can't, and I need water.

Oh, fine.

Wait, Tori!

Water.

Whatcha doing?

Angrily throwing books

In my locker, can't you tell?

So did you figure out

How you're gonna

Decorate it yet?

Yes, look,

I put a stripe on it.

Did you see the stripe?

I see the stripe.

Well, I don't know

What to do.

Why don't you do something,

You know, creative and deep?

What'd you do for yours?

Come on.

Clear?

Transparent.

I've got no secrets

And neither does my locker.

Aw, that is creative

And deep.

Yeah.

So, anyway...

About the bird scene.

Later.

Hey, Trina, can you help me?

I'm...

Sorry, gotta get to lunch

Before they run out of paninis.

Man, this is humiliating.

Agreed.

I can't believe

You got us into this.

Let's get outta this.

Madame makee?

Oui?

We're gonna

Have to drop this class.

If you drop this class

Then it goes on your

Permanent record as a zehro.

Oh c'mon,

You can't give us a "zehro."

Why do you want

To drop zis class?

Look around, woman.

We're surrounded

By dudes in tights.

It's just gross.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

Girl.

Hey, Robbie!

Hi, Rex!

What's doin'?

Did you guys quit ballet?

We can't,

Unless we want a "zehro."

Well, I'm sorry

You're feeling stressed.

Ohhh, it's okay.

I'm sure we'll...

I'm sure we can...

Would you keep doing that,

Please?

Sure.

This is getting weird.

Hey, you know what's making me

Feel stressed?

Tell me, I'll kill it.

It's this whole

Bird scene thing.

Ah, there it is:

The ulterior motive.

Hush, puppet.

Mmhm-Mmh-Mmhm-Mmh.

You'll help me

With the bird scene, won't you?

I'm really not supposed to...

Ow, he bit my hand.

Rex.

Take me to the bathroom.

I gotta pee now.

He's a puppet.

He can't pee.

You don't know what I got.

All right, class.

All right.

Which dancers would like

To show me the routine

We were working on last time?

We would.

What?

We got this, man.

You're a maniac.

Andre, Robbie, to the front.

Don't talk to anyone

Till I get back.

Positions.

Begin.

Let's take

A five minute break.

Please make it 10.

20.

Happy birthday.

Who's birthday is it?

Somebody's, somewhere.

That's so true.

Where is Tori?

Here.

Oh... you brought curtains.

Let's do this.

Very good.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Once again:

"The bird scene" starring Tori.

Vega.

Vega.

It was 1934

When my husband left me.

Alone, living on the prairie

Was a dreary existence.

No telephone, no radio,

Only a large, majestic bird

With whom I shared my feelings.

You see the bird too, right?

Yeah.

Fantastic.

One day,

When I was feeling low,

I said to him,

"Oh bird, you can fly.

You can soar miles

From this lonely place,

Yet you stay.

Why?"

And apparently

My question rang true,

For that afternoon my bird left,

And so went my spirit.

That was impressive.

So did I get it right?

Nope.

But I just...

I'd...I did too get it right.

Tori, listen.

I'm not trying

To be disrespectful.

But, you know, how hard

I worked on this scene?

I made this costume.

I downloaded

Special prairie music.

I even trained

That crazy cockatoo to fly

In and out of that window

On command.

Not now.

Look, I know

You're a great acting teacher

And everything,

But I don't care what you say.

The scene I just did was good,

And I'm proud of it

No matter what anybody thinks.

What?

You just passed

"The bird scene."

But you said...

Tori, the whole point

Of the bird scene

Is to teach a performer,

Like yourself,

To believe in your own choices

No matter what others think.

We are artists,

And a true artist

Does not define success

Based on hu, hee, hee approval

From others.

A true artist need

Only please himself

Or herself or itself.

You don't know what I got.

So, all three times

I did the scene...

...were delightful.

It was only wrong

When you asked if it was right.

Drive-By acting exercise.

You're all elderly people

Walking barefoot

On broken glass.

Go.

You guys ready?

Whatever.

Make what shine?

It's the title of the song

I sang in the big showcase.

Okay.

Whatever.

'Cause you know,

That's what got me here

In the first place.

I don't like it.

Maybe the words

Should be bigger.

Yes.

I believe in my own choice,

And I don't need approval

From others.

Ah, the young female

Has learned the ways

Of "the bird scene."

I still think it's dull.

Yeah?

Well, then maybe

I should make it shine.

Nice!

Light-Y.

Okay, are we going to eat

Or what?

Oh, yay, food.

Come with?

Sure.

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