Original subtitles

(SHOUTING) Fucking hell!

(SOBS)

Shaun, what's going on, love?

Shaun, what's happened?!

(SOBS)

- Shaun, what's wrong? - Shaun?

I'm a fucking idiot!

What's happened, Shaun, where's Michelle?

(SOBS)

She's never gonna want to speak to me again.

Why, love? What's wrong?

She caught me with that little slag, Fay.

I shouldn't have done and I did.

I was telling myself not to do it all the time and I did.

Shaun, look at me.

And now I've gone and thrown everything away that I had with her.

No, you haven't, Shaun.

She's never going to want to talk to me again.

She's already told me, Mum.

I've ruined everything. I've ruined Christmas.

How am I going to make my dad proud of me if I can't even keep a girlfriend?

(SOBS)

Listen, Shaun, we always forgive the people we really love.

Michelle will be OK.

She's not gonna be all right, Mum, you never saw her. She was in bits.

It's going to be OK.

(SOBS)

Shh.

(DISTANT CAROL SINGING)

(CAR ENGINE REVS)

♪ … Who is God and Lord of all

♪ And his shelter was a stable

♪ And his cradle was a stall

♪ With the poor and mean and lowly

♪ Lived on Earth, our Saviour holy. ♪

Have you ever heard of an 18-hour cafe?

- (GIGGLES) No! - Yeah.

Well, they exist, mate, and I'm gonna show you one right now.

- Really? - Yeah, really, really.

Where is there an 18-hour cafe round here?

It was built in the 18th century, which is strange, isn't it? By monks.

- Was it? - No, it wasn't.

(GIGGLES)

(HUBBUB)

All right.

All right.

KELLY: Shit.

WOODY: Milk.

Eh up, Wood.

You all having a good night?

It's all right.

Well, I …

Well, I look a cunt in front of yous.

You don't look a cunt.

I feel like one, though, to be honest with you, mate.

You're not a cunt.

You certainly know how to treat me like one, though, don't you?

Don't you?

No, I'm all right. Fucking …

You let me stand in front of her while she gave birth to your fucking baby.

And I wanted … I wanted a child. It were fucking planned for us, Milk.

And do you ever see her? Do you?

No, do you fuck!

I fucking really loved you, mate. I used to call you me brother.

Didn't I?

Yeah, I fucking did. I fucking cried with you, you cunt.

Do you remember that? Fucking crying with you?

Yeah, fuck, mate. You've broke it. You've fucking broken everything, you have.

- I didn't do this on purpose. - No, did you fuck, mate, nah.

You just did it anyway.

Didn't you, you fucker?

Hey?

I haven't fucking seen any of you for the last two months.

Where've you all fucking been?

Where've you been for the last two fucking months?

HARVEY: Same fucking place we always are, boss.

I've been going fucking mental, Harvey. Going mad, man.

I'm not who I were.

I tried to fucking do myself in!

I tried to kill myself.

Do you know that? Are you fucking aware of that?

Are any of you aware of it? I've been going fucking mad.

- Come on. - Fuck!

Fuck's sake.

Yeah, go on. Fuck off.

And you all go wi' him. Go on, then.

See you in a bit, yeah, yeah, Gadge, I'll see you in a bit, mate.

Fucking siding with that cunt there.

We're not siding!

You are, you're fucking siding with that cunt!

We're not siding, we're not siding, Woody.

Well, then, where have you been? Where've you fucking been?

- We've been around. - Two fucking months.

I've fucking missed you like mad. I'm overcome with you, Gadget,

I fucking love you, mate. I love yous.

- And I fucking love you and all, there. - We love you too.

All of yous. And you.

And I loved you as well, you fucking 'orrible bastard. I loved you.

BANJO: Come on.

How can you still stand there. Why haven't you fucked off?

- Fuck off! - Richey, no!

Stop it!

- (CRIES) - Fuck off, Jen, just fuck off!

Woods, we've all had a drink, just leave it, please!

(ALL SHOUTING)

Fuck off!

Come on, come on!

Woody!

- We were mates. Fucking mates! - (SHOUTING) Woody!

Get off me, man.

- GADGET: Come on, man! - WOODY: Fuck off!

Get the fuck off me.

Chill! You're mates.

Woody, I'm not fighting you.

Fucking get away, get away!

Get away.

GADGET: Just talk, man. Fucking hell!

Fuck!

What do I do now?

You've ruined … You've ruined my life.

You've fucking ruined my life, man.

Do you know that? You've ruined it.

- I'm sorry, Woody. - No, you're not sorry.

- I am sorry! - If you were sorry,

you'd have come and fucking seen me, you would've done.

You're a fucking snake in the grass.

You are, mate.

You are.

You are.

We were brothers, we were. I'd have fucking died for you.

I would've fucking died for you.

That's what I would've done.

Fucking go away from me, Milk.

- Come on, Milk. - Yeah, go on, fuck off.

Go and fuck off, mate.

Jen …

GADGET: Kel, Trev, come on.

No, go on, you're all right, Kelly.

- Woody, I can't leave you. - Go away from me.

- No. I can't leave you. - I'm all right.

I'm all right, I'm all right! Just fuck off, go away from me.

Fuck off! Go away from me now.

HARVEY: Leave him, man, let him do what he's doing.

Kelly, go away. Fucking go away! Go away!

- Go on, get out! - HARVEY: Come on, man, go on, go on.

- Fucking … - (ALL SHOUTING)

Get off!

- Stop it! - Get up, man. Get up.

- WOODY: For fuck's sake! - Come on, man, just move!

- Just leave it, Milk. - Leave it, man.

KELLY: He's got a point, just leave it.

- Milk, Milk, Milk, leave it. - Leave it, boss, come on.

Get off me! There's no point, Milky!

Just leave it, man. Just leave it, serious.

I fucking loved ya!

Do you hear me?

- HARVEY: You're boring. Come on, Milk. - I fucking loved you, man.

Oh. Ohhh, fuck.

- Woody, let's go home, please. - Yeah. Yeah.

All right, I'm all right now.

I'm all right now.

It's all right, Jen.

- It's all right, sweetheart, it's OK. - (CRIES)

It's OK. It's OK.

Oh.

Oh, oh.

OK. Oh.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

In Christ, the light of the world has come to dispel the darkness of our hearts.

In His light, let us examine ourselves

and confess our sins.

- Lord, have mercy. - CONGREGATION: Lord, have mercy.

Jesus, our Saviour, you were born in poverty

and laid in a manger.

Forgive our greed and rejection of your ways.

- Christ, have mercy. - CONGREGATION: Christ, have mercy.

Spirit of love, your servant, Mary, responded joyfully to your call.

Forgive the hardness of our hearts.

Lord, have mercy.

CONGREGATION: Lord, have mercy.

(DISTANTLY) May the God of all healing and forgiveness …

(CONGREGATION SINGING)

This is the word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.

(CONGREGATION SINGING)

… forgiveness. Draw you to himself,

that you may behold the glory of his Son, the word made flesh,

and be cleansed from all your sins,

through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

♪ … holy night

♪ All is calm, all is bright

♪ Round yon virgin

♪ Mother and child

♪ Holy infant so tender and mild

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace

♪ Slee-eep in heavenly peace

♪ Silent night

♪ Holy night

♪ Son of God

♪ Love's pure light

♪ Radiant beams from Thy holy face

♪ With the dawn of saving grace

♪ Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

♪ Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth. ♪

MICK: (WHISPERS) What are you doing here?

(WHISPERS) What are you doing here?

Because I'm here, Lol.

And I will always be here.

VICAR: Today, the angels sing on Earth. Hallelujah, glory to God in the highest.

Glory to you, oh, Lord.

In the beginning was the word

and the word was with God and the word was God.

He was in the beginning with God. All things were made by Him.

In him was life and the life was the light of men.

The light shines in the darkness.

The darkness has not overcome it.

This is the gospel of the Lord.

CONGREGATION: Praise to you, O Christ.

(BIRDSONG)

(BOTH CHATTING QUIETLY)

KELLY: Well, it's Christmas …

- Save us twos on that. - Yeah, I will.

I can't smoke in the house any more. My mum's like, "The smell!"

- The smell? - Yeah, she fucking smokes in there.

I was gonna say.

- Come on, then. - Hang on.

What a night.

I know.

- We ought to go to sleep. - Can we check on Lisa first?

Trev, you do this all the time. She's asleep, you'll wake Lol up. No.

Come on, please. Come on, I never get to see her.

You get to see her all the time.

- You're kidding. - Please.

- Just one minute. - Trev. One minute!

- Oh, yeah. - Seriously, one minute.

And don't wake her up with your massive feet.

- Fuck off! - I swear to God …

- (BELL JINGLES) - Shh!

- You're being dead loud. - It was the bells.

(WHISPERS) She's so sweet!

I could just eat her!

I'm just going to see Lol.

Trev!

Trev, get the fuck in here!

I think Lol's took an overdose.

KELLY: You need to go and get an ambulance.

OK.

COMMUNITY NURSE: If thou shaft confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus

and shalt believe in thine hurt that God had raised Him from the dead,

thou shalt be saved.

For with the heart, man believeth unto righteousness

and with the mouth, confession is made unto salvation.

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Father, I come before you in prayer and in faith believing.

Your word says that you desire all men and women to be saved

and come into the knowledge of the truth,

so I bring Lorraine before you today.

Show her mercy, Lord. Forgive her,

for I believe you died on the cross for all mankind,

to save our souls from sin.

Please come into Lorraine's heart.

Live in her, Lord, so that she can have life, not death.

(VOICE BECOMES DISTORTED)

DOCTOR: Try not to struggle.

(GROANS)

COMMUNITY NURSE: I ask that you look with mercy and grace towards Lorraine.

- Nourish her spirit and her soul … - (LOL GROANING)

OK, you're doing very well.

- (RETCHES) - Try not to struggle, Lorraine.

(DISTORTED VOICES OVERLAP)

VICAR: Eternal God, who made this most holy night

to shine with the brightness of your …

MAN: You're the only one who knows.

VICAR: … Bring us, who have known the revelation of that light on Earth

to see the radiance of your heavenly glory.

Through Jesus Christ, your Son, our Lord,

who is a live and … (VOICE DISTORTS)

MAN: I love you so much.

(VOICES OVERLAP)

I love you so much.

I love you more than all of them.

I love you so much.

(VOICES DISTORTING)

I love you so much.

VICAR: The spirit of love … (DISTORTS)

(INAUDIBLE)

COMMUNITY NURSE: I believe you hear this earnest prayer from my heart

and that it's powerful because of your promise.

I have faith in you, Lord, to heal my friend.

but I also trust in the plan that you have for your life.

Lord, I don't always understand your ways

I don't know why my friend has to suffer, but I trust you.

I ask that you took with mercy and grace towards Lorraine.

Nourish her spirit and her soul in this time of suffering

and comfort her with your presence.

Let Lorraine know that you're there with her through this difficult time.

Give her strength.

And may you, through this difficulty, be glorified in her life

and also in mine.

Amen.

OK, so, Lorraine took an acute overdose of paracetamol.

We've pumped her stomach.

I think we've got most of the pills back up.

(SOBS)

I want to see her, please.

Yes, of course.

It will be a little while. She's got to go for psychiatric assessment,

which is just normal procedure for anyone who's attempted suicide.

And then we'll take some bloods and keep monitoring her progress.

But she will be taken to a ward and as soon as she can see you,

we'll let you know.

OK.

(SOBS)

How's your hand?

Um …

Sore.

Just scraped it on the gravel.

Think it looks worse than it is.

I'm so sorry, Jen.

You don't have to be sorry.

It's really weird. I feel really indifferent about it now. It's like …

Well, that's it now, innit?

What do you mean?

Just after that, you know. It's such a big thing.

How can we be friends again now?

We can't.

That's it.

Yeah, but they … they are your mates,

they're the people you've got all your history with.

You're my friend.

You're the one who stayed.

I know I told 'em to go, but I didn't want them to.

Not really.

You wish you had it all back, don't you?

No.

Some … Sometimes.

Sometimes I do.

It's the way it is, though, isn't it?

Lost for ever.

I've never seen you like that, like you were last night.

It's cos you still …

… feel so strongly about her, isn't it?

Cos you're still so … heart broke.

Innit?

Yeah.

You need to make it up with them.

They're the people you should be hanging around with.

That's your life. That's who you are.

Why can't you just be more of a twat with me about it?

Why do you have to be so fucking wonderful about everything all the time?

I don't think you deserve someone like me, Jen,

who's unsure of what they want.

I don't know what I want.

I don't know what to do.

I don't want to patronise you.

And I think I am doing.

Fucking hell, I'm not without me faults.

I'm such a fucking wimp.

I am, Jen. I never man up to anything.

I know, because you don't face up to things what are true, what are real.

I feel like the biggest twat in all the world.

You might be …

You might be one of the most amazing people I've ever met.

- Shut up! - I know it sounds really awful,

- but it's true, Jen. - Yeah, it does!

- You don't need to say that to me. - I know I don't need to.

- Shh. - I don't need to.

But you really are … Oh, fucking hell, mate.

I'm not Lol, though, am I?

- Was this your first suicide attempt? - Yeah.

Can you describe your feelings prior to the act?

Not really.

Do you have a desire to hurt yourself or anyone around you?

(WHISPERS) No.

Do you own a gun?

Or do you have access to firearms?

No.

Do you have access to potentially harmful medication?

No.

Right, so what could it be? Could it be a record?

Could it be a skateboard?

- Could it be …? - (BABS LAUGHS)

- I think it's a bit soft, isn't it? - WOODY: Mm.

A bit flexible. Could it be …?

- Could it be …? - Shall I open it?

- You might have to just do it! - Shall I open it now?

I'm going to!

Oh! A shirt.

- It's not one shirt. - There's not one shirt there, Dad.

- Two shirts. - (KNOCK AT DOOR)

Hey. Got a knocker here.

- BABS: Is that the door? - It'll be Sheila, won't it? Next door.

I don't think so, at this time.

She might want some Bisto or summat.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

You'd better go and bloody get it. Christ. Come on, then.

What's going on? We don't all have to bloody go!

- RICHARD: Yeah, we do. - WOODY: We're like the bloody Waltons!

Hello! All right, Trev. Sorry, love.

Happy Christmas!

I've been trying to phone you. It's been engaged all morning.

I told you, it's stupid, that is!

Listen, come inside. We're just opening some presents.

- You can sit down with us, if you like. - I can't come in.

I'm sorry for coming round on Christmas Day.

Um …

But you're going to have to come to the hospital with me.

It's, um …

It's Lol, she's took an overdose.

No, she hasn't! Trev!

- Is it bad? - No, it's all right.

Is it really …? Fucking hell!

- Wait there, Trev. - Listen, son, calm down.

- You need your jacket. - (SHOUTING) Shut up!

Shut the fuck up!

Who's put 'em in there?! Fucking hell! Go on, Trev.

COMMUNITY NURSE: Father, I bring Lorraine before you today.

I break the power of Satan from his assignments and activities in her life

in the name of Jesus.

Now, while Satan is bound, I ask that you send forth the Holy Spirit,

to share the good news of the gospel

in such a way that she will listen and understand it.

As the truth is ministered, I believe Lorraine will come to know and love you

and so out of the snare of the devil.

Therefore, my confession of faith is this —

by delivering her from the mouth of death, God has begun work in Lorraine's life

and may this continue until the day of the return of our Lord Jesus Christ.

In Jesus's name.

Amen.

Do you know where I can find Lorraine Jenkins, please?

Know where it is. Fucking hell.

- Which floor is it on? - TREV: Top one.

Top one.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

(MOANS)

Woody, for fuck's sake, calm down!

Why didn't you come and get me?! What the fuck!

Calm down, Woody!

Why …?!

Woody, Woody!

Calm down.

CHRISSIE: What are you doing?

Fucking why didn't you come and get me?

She's fucking been ringing you all day!

What am I gonna do?

Roll up and knock on your door after yesterday's performance?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Ahh.

Just calm down.

Where have they put her?

What do you mean?

Where have they put her fucking body? Where is she? Where is me Lol?

You daft twat!

She's not dead, she's downstairs, having a fucking smoke, you idiot!

Fuck's sake! Fuck's sake!

- What the fuck's …?! - You thought she was dead?

Who's fucking made this? It's a made bed.

Yeah, they make the bed every time you fucking get up!

What a fucking stupid thing to do!

Jesus …!

Fucking bunch of clowns, fuck's sake.

You thought she was dead as well?

Well, yeah.

CHRISSIE: She's fine, she's had her stomach pumped. She's gonna be all right.

Oh, bloody hell. Oh, fucking hell. I love you, man, for fuck's sake.

Me too.

I'm sorry, Chris.

Trev …

TREV: Oh, Jesus.

Come here.

The bed's made, she's not in it.

Jesus!

I thought she'd fucking died! You had your head in your hands.

- I thought she'd died, Milk. - She's all right.

WOODY: Oh, fuck's sake.

Fucking hell.

Have you seen this?

You haven't even got any stitches.

Well, go and get her, then. Fucking hell.

WOODY: Hiya,

Hi.

Are you all right, Lol?

What you doing here?

They said you were down here, so I wanted to find you.

Well, you can come in.

Do you want me to?

Yeah.

Just a minute.

(DOOR BANGS SHUT)

Ohh.

Ohhhh.

Mummy's little soldier.

There are two of us in this war, Lol.

We're all hurting.

That is so …

Hello.

Unghh!

I'll sit down.

Oh, well.

(SIGHS)

Well, I didn't expect to see you or laugh today, so … thanks for that.

Funny guy. Can't be helped.

So …

how's the whole …

overdose treating you?

Yeah, not too bad.

Didn't quite go to plan.

- But I'm glad. - Fucked it right up.

Next time, maybe I'm thinking a nuclear warhead.

Them big fucking hand cannons like Clint Eastwood has.

Use one of them. Because I'm telling you now,

there isn't a paracetamol on Earth

that would take any of your family out.

Like, it's ridiculous. What an idea!

You're the hardest bunch of bastards in the world.

And you're like their fucking leader. You're like the hardest person I know.

- No, I'm not. - Yeah, you are, Lol!

- You fucking are! - Look at me now.

Maybe the hardest person in the universe, to me.

What the fuck, Lol?

Fucking paracetamol. It's Christmas Day!

What got so bad?

I've been really poorly, Woods.

And it's nothing to do with you or …

Milky, or any of that.

It was me who killed my dad, Woody.

Not Combo.

It was me.

And he's gone to prison for something he didn't do.

Oh, God.

I couldn't live with it.

Fuck! (SNIFFS)

(SIGHS)

(SOBS)

Fuck!

I'm so sorry!

To be on your own, with that.

Combo.

Jesus.

Yeah, I know.

Does anybody else know?

No.

Only you and Combo know.

- I don't want to be telling anyone else. - No.

No.

Though I was going to ask if you wanted to move in, but …

How dangerous are you, out of ten?

Sweetheart?

I wanted to be brave.

You are brave.

You are, Lol. Oh, God!

What would I have done?!

I've been so lonely without you.

You dick!

Don't call me a dick!

You are!

We both are.

Got a mental idea, me.

Um, why don't we fucking grow up?

- Sounds like a good idea. - Yeah.

Haven't even met Lisa.

She's beautiful. You'll love her.

I can't wait to meet her.

Put your head on my chest for a bit.

Like we used to …

… watch telly.

God, God, I love you, Lol!

I can't be with anyone else.

- I'm so glad you're here. - Me too.

♪ Keep climbing into my head without knocking

♪ And you fix yourself there like a map pin

♪ On this ghost of a street where I'm living

♪ I'm in a chrysalis and I'm snowed in

♪ Darling, darling, that dam's gonna give

♪ It's inevitable, the way that you live

♪ Bottles in brown paper and a mouth that slurs

♪ All the shit that it stirs

♪ Let that dogwood blossom

♪ There'll be hell to pay

♪ In heaven

♪ For you take every street home

♪ What happens when you're in too deep to break?

♪ Loneliness keeps you constantly awake

♪ What happens when the passage of time appears?

♪ You see yourself as a child and it brings you to tears

♪ You say that you're troubled and you always have been

♪ Uncomfortable in your own skin

♪ So you contemplate the river bed

♪ Turn off the dark thoughts in your head

♪ Darling, darling, that dam's gonna give

♪ It's inevitable, the way that you live

♪ Bottles in brown paper and a mouth that slurs

♪ All the shit that it stirs

♪ Let that dogwood blossom

♪ There'll be hell to pay

♪ In heaven

♪ For you take every street home. ♪

♪ You sheltered me from harm

♪ Kept me warm

♪ Kept me warm

♪ You gave my life to me

♪ Set me free

♪ Set me free

♪ The finest years I ever knew

♪ Is all the years I had with you

♪ And I would give anything I own

♪ Give up my life, my heart, my home

♪ And I would give anything I own

♪ Just to have you back again

♪ Is there someone you know

♪ That won't let you go?

♪ And taking it all for granted

♪ You may lose them one day

♪ Someone takes them away

♪ And you don't hear a word they say

♪ And I would give anything I own

♪ Give up my life, my heart, my home

♪ And I would give anything I own

♪ Just to have you back again

♪ Just to talk to you

♪ Words again … ♪