Original subtitles

The Subtitle Created By MJBN

You fought with valor, brother.

And your death will not be in vain.

In due time, we will have our revenge.

♪ One, two, three, below! ♪

Area 49-B, Base Command to ground team,

we're clocking an unidentified flying object

descending 20 degrees...

-Roger that, Base Command. -Proceed with caution.

We may have a Russian spy plane on our hands.

Uh... Base Command?

I don't think this guy is Russian.

According to legend, that flying saucer resides

300 miles away at Area 49-B Military Base,

the government's top-secret facility for extraterrestrial research.

Fascinating, Mr. Pepperjack.

-Really A-plus work there. -Yay!

-Thank you, Señor Uhl. -In creative writing.

Unfortunately, this is a physics class,

and even as your substitute teacher, I know this deserves the F.

Please clean up your mess, Mr. Pepperjack. We don't have all day.

What if the Pepperjack is right?

Come on, it's just something he read on the Internet.

The Internet is full of nonsense...

and cats playing pianos.

But we only need one final part to complete the Daxial Array.

-Correct? -Yes, the osmic circuit.

I should have known you'd try to silence me.

You work for the government!

If this facility really does have a spacecraft,

then we can steal its osmic circuit.

It's a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top!

The top, I tell you!

Ouch!

Okay, so maybe someone else,

someone reliable, has heard of this military base.

I don't know anything about it, I've never heard of it,

I have never been there, and I am certainly never going back.

-Huh. So you have been there? -Kleb!

Feel free to maintain your silence, Stuart.

Enhanced interrogation is a favorite hobby of Varvatos Vex.

You should really find some less creepy hobbies, Vexy.

Perhaps canasta?

-Stuart! -All right, fine, I'll spill!

Oof! Not literally, but thank you.

So the rumors are true. Is it a research facility?

If by "research" you mean sticking interplanetary life-forms

under a microscope, then sure, yes, it's research.

This is the real deal, baby.

In 60 years, no life-form has ever managed to escape Area 49-B.

Except for one.

I'm pausing for dramatic effect. You're more than welcome to guess.

-Not a clue. -No one comes to mind.

I've yet to meet any intelligent life on this planet.

Hello! Me, Stuart! Me!

I escaped the dreadful facility. They pulled me right out of my spacecraft.

Earthlings! I come in peace--

You have a spacecraft?

Had. A real primo antique.

But, I mean, they have it now. Although, technically, it was a rental.

It could have an osmic circuit! We need to get into the base.

We'll need all the intelligence you have on this base.

You are the royals' only hope of getting back home.

Great. Yeah, I am in!

Oh!

I am so in.

When you say "in," you mean, like--

Down. If House Tarron is going,

- then I'm coming with. - Argh!

I left behind a lot of unfinished business, shall we say,

and now I'm gonna show these men in black

what old Stuey of Durio is made of.

You're made of slime, right?

Yes, of course, but my spirit is solid.

- Fascinating. - Argh!

You know, truth be told, pulling off a heist

has always been a big-ticket item on the old bucket list.

-How many types of buckets are there? -Enough to fill a whole list, apparently.

That never stops being lovely.

You're adorable, both of you, Your Highness-eses-seses.

Is that the plural? Okay, now gather 'round, crew.

It's time to plan a heist.

We shall call it "The Arcadian Job." I've always wanted to say that.

"The Arcadian Job." I did it again. I love it!

Okay, now, security at this place is top of the line. Top!

But designed by humans.

Meaning, by definition, it is most easily vanquished.

No, no. You'd be surprised.

If there's one thing humans have mastered,

- it's the art of keeping secrets. - What's that thing?

-Can I pet it? -That? Just a keepsake.

Reminds me of an old friend. Definitely not a secret.

Why would it be a secret?

What you need to concern yourself with is this.

Cement perimeter wall, ten feet thick. And I mean thick.

You seen my bum? Four times as thick!

Which we can blast through with our serrators.

No, no, no, that would trigger the explosives inside the wall...

and kill us all.

Glorious!

Impressive!

And then, of course, there's these... Blast doors.

Which we can deprogram and unlock on site.

Sure, if you want to trip

the 20,000-volt electric flooring underneath and, again, kill us all.

Argh!

So what you are telling us is

this base is completely impregnatable.

Then we walk in through the front door.

First step, we lay the trap.

Luug! Say, "flexel"!

We can post a photo of an alleged alien sighting

on my conspiracy theory website,

CrockCircles.com.

-Don't you mean, CropCircles.com? -Oh, I wish.

That was taken, sadly. 11-year-old kid from Des Moines.

A military reconnaissance team will be dispatched to investigate.

Eee!

Well, CrockCircles.com was right again!

And that's when we strike.

- Glorious. - Whoa! Don't come in too hot

because that team will be packing major firepower.

Neurometers. Thermo-radiant pulse weapons

that the humans recovered from an Antidum ship in the '40s.

A hit from one of those bad boys, you'll be knocked out six ways to Sunday.

Fine.

So I should attack them like a larvox.

Luug, not playtime!

Oh! Ugh! Oh!

We can use the science team's van

to drive through the front gates undetected.

-I.D., please. -Oh.

- What's in the cage? - Oh, this?

It's just an alien with an incurable virus.

Go, go, go!

Okay, we all know the plan?

Set up all the camera feeds to the remote location.

Break into the building housing the spacecraft.

Grab the osmic circuit.

And break out.

Great, I think my plan is foolproof, which means even I should be okay.

Lieutenant Connolly to the Comm building.

Lieutenant Connolly to the Comm building.

Krel can hack into the base's surveillance feed...

Whew.

And shoot it to our back-up team.

In a discreet stakeout vehicle, which is a taco truck,

which technically makes it a "steak-in" vehicle,

'cause you know, carne asada.

We'll be that little voice inside your head,

pointing you in the right direction.

Just like your conscience!

Gee-willikers!

Are you expecting anybody?

Hello?

-Hey, you can't park here. -Howdy-do there, fuzz-- I mean, officer.

You can't park here, mister. This is a restricted area.

You have any clearance?

Oh, afraid we don't, Mr. Security Man. Only tacos.

You smell that tomatillo? Mmm!

I'm going to have to ask you... for the two-taco plate!

Sorry, one second, just...

I've got myself a little turned around here.

-Bogey at your three o'clock. -What?

- Eee! - Hmm?

You said you memorized the grounds during your escape.

Did I? I did. Yes, I did say that.

It sounded good. I mean, I kinda remember it. It's been a long time.

And they have renovated.

-A lot. -This is a disaster!

I know. It's too industrial.

I'm more of a mid-century modern guy, myself.

- Ops team. - He wants carnitas

and extra guac. 86 the onions, Daddy-o!

No onions. On it, mamacita!

Any sign of the ship on the surveillance feeds?

No, sirree, Bob.

And you know how much it breaks our hearts to disappoint you children.

Next customer!

Does there appear to be extra security around any particular building?

Yes, two buildings are chock full of deathtraps.

Looks like the base hangar and a lab of some kind, buckaroo.

If the ship is here, it's most likely in one of those buildings.

All clear, Daddy-o.

You guys go ahead. Thinking I might scope out that lab.

You know, cover our odds?

Oh, that's the most ridic--

Oh. Shockingly, that is not a terrible idea. Aja, accompany him.

We shall rendezvous here once we've recovered the ship's osmic circuit.

Teamwork, huh? What a beautiful thing. Right up there!

Uh... hi?

There it is. Here we go!

Uh-oh. Freeze! Eye in the sky.

And... break!

You're clear. Absolutely no one ahead.

-Hey! -Whoa, where did he come from?

Oof! Argh!

Ooh! Don't hurt me!

Too late!

-It's locked. -Yep, it's locked.

Uh-oh, clear out, boys.

-All right, let's get some tacos! -Yeah!

-Huh? -Hey, you coming?

Yeah, wait for me!

Ay-yi-yi.

Oh, my! A labyrinth full of lasers.

Hot sauce coming right up! Good luck with that.

On the bright side, there's a fairly good chance

something important is on the other side.

Fear not, Varvatos Vex has encountered systems

far more complex than this.

-Actually, I have an id-- -Silence, princeling.

Watch. Learn.

Ha!

Huh.

Oh!

Ha!

Ha!

Victory requires not only a warrior's dexterity,

but a warrior's concentration as well.

Uh-huh.

Sure.

Huh...? Um...

Wow. So agile, Commander.

- Anatomical restructuring... - Luug, come on.

I count six agents inside. But I might have a plan.

-Hey, Brant. -Huh?

When is that report going to be ready?

Gladys is observing the anniversary of her birth in the break room.

There is cake...

Odd. I didn't know there were any more of us on duty tonight.

- Um... - Hey, guys! They've got tacos outside.

-Awesome! -I'm totally starving!

Diablo Maximus, here I come!

Luug, wait!

Krel?

- I think I found something. - Me, too.

We have six eyes on the saucer.

And I, for one, am rolling mine.

- This thing is a piece of junk. - Hey, it's a classic!

Whatever. Let's just get what we came for.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Watch your step there, kiddo.

The electromagnetic floor is pressure sensitive.

It will trigger the alarms.

Humph! Varvatos Vex is always prepared.

Ha! Aja's hover board.

So by "preparation," you mean theft?

Okay, I think we have a problem.

There's a life-form imprisoned here.

He's hungry, weak.

Poor thing. Who knows how long he's been here?

21 years, 9 months, 17 days.

I started counting the day I escaped from here.

That's why you wanted to come with us.

You wanted to rescue your friend.

When I escaped, I barely got out myself. I had to leave him behind.

I couldn't pass up the chance to come back for him.

Stuart, there is no time.

Hey, would you hold still?

Varvatos is not accustomed to this sort of work.

Varvatos Vex's duty is to the safety of the Akiridion throne,

concerning ourselves with anything but the osmic circuit.

- But Varvatos... - Return to the extraction point.

We shall reconvene in ten mekrons.

Varvatos' duty might be to the safety of the Akiridion throne,

but as the queen-in-waiting,

my duty is to do what is right.

Oh, yeah! Preach! Queen-in-waiting, yeah!

-Preachin' it. -Does this guy have a name?

-Yeah, yeah. Buster. -Perfect.

Because we're busting Buster out.

Did you hear that clever wordplay?

Wonderful! Old Stuey's gonna get you outta here, mate!

Oh, no.

This thing is-- ugh-- really stuck in there.

Careful, you'll set off the alarm.

Just... about finished. Ooh!

-That was close. -Tell me about it.

-Ops team, report. -Something tripped the alarms.

Yeah, about that... sorry.

He's still angry! He's angry I left. Argh!

Oh, he's still so, so angry!

Buster, my friend,

I am so, so sorry I left you behind.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Sure, I've put on a bit of weight.

It's only 'cause the food outside is so good. Mmm! Yeah!

You're gonna love it!

You're looking a little rough around the edges,

a little long in the tooth. But, hey, can I blame you?

You're getting poked and prodded all day long.

Anyway,

I told you I'd come back eventually. And here I am! Right?

Right? Ugh!

Buster, it's okay. It's okay.

We're going to get you out of here.

We're going to set you free.

-Those were some good tacos. -I'm so full.

That burrito was... huge!

Uh, I know we just met, but think you could give us a hand here?

Hey, you're not supposed to-- What the...? Huh?

Ugh!

Incoming hazmat team at your twelve o'clock,

and they're armed with tummies full of tacos.

Hand Varvatos Vex the circuit and stay close.

Your plan isn't to run at the heavily-armed guards, is it?

Wait!

-Oh, don't hurt me again! Ugh! -Argh!

All right, got it! Hey!

- Glorious! - Oh, my!

Ah! Buster can really hold a grudge! Ooh!

Go, go!

Ops team, we need immediate extraction.

At least I got the circuit. We're going home, Aja.

We're saving Mama and Papa, and we're going home.

Finally! You can fix the Daxial Array.

- I can fix everything! - We'll have to move quick.

No!

As the commanding officer of this military base,

allow me to offer you your first lesson in Earthly etiquette.

Before you walk into someone else's house,

you knock.

Oh! Ionic energy weapons!

Fascinating.

We learned about those 20 years ago from the previous invaders,

- but I've never seen one in person. - Invaders?

You don't know why those lifeforms came here.

Either way, we didn't invite them.

Welcome back, Stuart of Durio.

I should have smelled you coming.

Oh, but don't worry. Your cage is still waiting for you,

and it has plenty of rooms for all your new friends!

-Seklos and Gaylen! -He has grown so much!

Buster!

Neutralize the specimen!

Grab on!

Buster! How about a leg up? Eee!

Don't let them escape!

What's that?

-Let's go, men. -The jig is up, honeycakes.

Get those carnitas in the fridge, and put the pedal to the metal!

Jiminy Cricket!

Where do you think you're going? I need sauce!

See you in St. Louis, screwy!

But what about my guacamole? I paid extra!

Buster, I said I was sorry!

We're almost to the gate.

Argh!

- No! No! - No, no, no!

Krel!

-We must leave at once. -Not yet.

Aja, no!

This won't hold much longer!

Stuart, you coward. Come back here!

- You'll be a perfect lab rat. - Beep, beep!

Here comes a monster trucker!

Stuart, that wall is rigged to--

Explode! Yes, I'm well aware.

Then I guess I'm the bomb!

You guys! Hold him down!

Buster!

Come on!

Where's our getaway?

Buster? Does this mean that we are even?

I think that was a "yes."

Ahoy-hoy! Oh, no, mi principito!

-He needs help! -Drive!

Colonel Kubritz, it appears they took the orange thing

with all the wires sticking out.

It's called an osmic circuit.

Good.

Their ship must be grounded, which means they'll be easier to find.

Power fully restored.

Core regeneration commencing.

Ah!

The king-in-waiting will make a full recovery.

I suggest letting him rest.

This is Varvatos Vex's fault, Your Highness.

He betrayed his duty, his oath,

his king and queen.

He betrayed you.

But by Gaylen's honor, he promises...

I promise I will rectify this.

I will restore your family.

And I will take you home.