Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

Alright, Rich, describe geothermal energy.

Alright, I know this one.

Uh, geothermal energy is the heat

that builds up in the Earth's magma.

Mm, correct.

Oh, God, I love it when you know the right answer.

Oh, man.

Can't you two stop suckin' face for a second?

I gotta ask you somethin'.

- Hey! - Um.. Hey! Uh..

We're-we're-we're studying here.

Yeah, right. Listen.

I got a date with Sam tonight.

I figure it's gonna cost me about 40 bucks

but I'm a little short.

Yeah, alright, buddy.

- How much do you need? - About 40 bucks.

Well, here you go, here is one buck

and all you need is 39 more.

Wait, you're broke?

What happened to your job at the lumberyard?

Let's just say those forklifts are a lot trickier

to operate then they look.

Dude, that is the fourth job you lost this month.

[doorbell ringing] Third.

You can't count that incident at the zoo.

Who knew monkeys can't chew gum.

- Hey, J.T. - Hey, Sam, you look great.

- Thank you. - 'Sam.'

Hey, guys. Uh, sorry I'm late.

We were swamped at the garage.

Our apprentice mechanic quit today.

He quit, just like that?

J.T., I know it's a foreign concept to you

but some people actually leave a job voluntarily.

So have you filled the job yet?

Nah. Uh, do you know somebody?

Heh, do I know somebody? Yes, me.

[chuckles] No, seriously.

I mean, we really need some help at the garage.

I am serious.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Yeah, really, J.T., you know zip about auto repair.

Yeah, dude, Dana is right, you thought a catalytic converter

was a sex change for a cat.

That is exactly why I'm perfect for the job.

When it comes to auto repair, I'm a blank slate.

When it comes to tying your shoes, you're a blank slate.

You know, J.T., I don't think workin' together is so smart.

It could put a strain on our relationship.

Oh, look, Sam, I'm desperate. Please?

I got no money. I can't pay my rent.

If you don't give me this job, the next time you see me

I'll be living in a refrigerator box

eating little packets of ketchup.

Okay, o-okay, I'll talk to my boss.

Yes, alright, baby, this is so cool.

Oh, I'm gonna be a mechanic.

Grease under my finger nails, sweaty armpits

and butt crack as far as the eye could see.

Sam, you're one lucky girl.

[theme song]

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over ♪

♪ A different hand to play ♪

♪ The deeper we fall ♪

♪ The stronger we stay ♪

♪ We'll make it better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪♪

[instrumental music]

I just don't know what to do.

Mommy, it's called fish. Pick a card.

Hey, hey.

And how are my two favorite girls today?

Well, you're in a good mood.

Did they finally drain that porta-potty at the job site?

Even better. Honey, I made a great deal today.

You know the 1000 bucks that old man Bickley still owed me

for the work on the patio?

I talked him into giving me somethin' even better.

Oh, Frank, we're not going into the mail order

denture business again, are we?

No, come on, it's outside and it's a surprise.

I wanna show you. Come on, here we go.

You're gonna love it.

[laughs]

Huh? What do you think?

I think that mail order denture business

is sounding real good.

Oh, come on, Carol, look at this baby.

This is a Norwegian racing sloop.

In her day, she was the fastest thing on the water.

Yeah, and now this is the ugliest thing in our yard.

Frank, have you lost your mind?

I can't believe you passed up a $1000

for this old bucket of barnacles.

A, a bucket of barnacles?

Honey, this is a nautical classic.

This is an eyesore.

You cannot leave this in our backyard.

You can't leave it in the front yard

or else the trash man might take it.

Well, it is obvious to me that you two do not appreciate

the potential of this lovely lady.

Would you quit calling it a lady? It gives me the creeps.

Oh, honey, come on, it's a tradition.

Your boat is your mistress. And isn't she a beautiful gal?

I mean, look at the old world craftsmanship.

The sleekness of her lines and this baby, honey

is as solid as a rock.

Just, just got a put in a little work on her

and by Gaul, I'll have her out

on the middle of the lake in no time.

Don't go out on that boat, daddy, you'll die!

No, I won't, honey. It's just..

[instrumental music]

Uh, Mr. Evans, have you seen J.T.?

He was here just a minute ago.

Last time I saw the boy

he was tryin' to blow up a tire with his mouth.

Sam, I'm not sure he's gonna work out.

Uh, it's just his first day. He'll be fine, I promise.

J.T.

J.T.

[J.T.] 'Sam, help!'

- Help! Help! - J.T.?

[sighs]

Thanks.

Man, I thought I was a goner.

Man, I haven't been this short of breath since you lost

your bikini top at that water slide.

What were you doing in there?

I was changing the trunk lights, like you told me.

I climbed inside to see if the light goes off

and you closed the trunk, like this.

[J.T.] 'Sam!'

[banging]

- It does. - Tell you what.

Why don't you just follow me for the rest of the day?

Right behind you, Sam.

[engine revving]

Okay.

What we're going to do on this car

is adjust the carburetor.

[J.T.] 'Wow, that's sounds pretty complicated.'

What do we have to do, turn the crank case?

Overhaul the tranny? Drop the engine?

No, just turn this little screw.

Well, any idiot could do that.

We're about to find out.

Okay, just turn the little screw

until the engine idles smoothly.

Wow, listen to that. She's purrin' like a kitten.

You know, Sam, I think I was born to be a mechanic--

[clanking]

Lambert, why don't you take lunch

in another state?

[instrumental music]

[whirring]

I know that hurts a little, old gal.

But you're way past due for a makeover.

You're gonna be as smooth as the blow hole on a baby dolphin.

[whirring]

Dad!

Frank!

Any chance we could get some quiet around here?

Hey, what's the idea of unplugging my sander?

Do you realize it's 5:00 in the morning?

I sure do, matey. It's first watch of the day.

Great mornin', innit?

It was until you started making all this racket.

Come on, dad, it's Saturday.

Stop the work so we can go back to sleep.

Oh, come on. Stow that kind of talk.

Sleep is for the land lubbers.

Come on aboard and shiver me timbers and swab the poop deck.

Dad, stop it.

You sound like the drunken host of a sea food restaurant.

Oh, mom, make him stop.

He's lost his mind, he's flipped out.

It's 5 a.m. and he's working on his stupid boat.

Karen, I don't want either of you

being disrespectful to Frank.

Now, I want you to apologize and then

go back inside that house.

[both] Sorry.

- Thank you, honey, I apprecia-- - Oh, grow up, Frank.

That was just for the kids.

Have you flipped out? Have you lost your mind? It is 5 a.m.

Now will you stop working on this stupid boat?

[instrumental music]

- Lambert! - Ah, ye-yes. Yes, sir.

Are you done with that brake job yet? It's been five hours.

Yes, sir, she is ready to go.

Good. I'm gonna take her out for a road test.

You know, sir, you might wanna take Elm Street.

The leaves are lovely this time of year.

Fortunately, I'll be able to see them

because the screwdriver missed my eye.

[engine revving]

J.T.

Where is Mr. Evans going with that car?

Oh, he was just road testing my brake job.

But I'm supposed to double check your work

before it's road tested.

Sam, relax I did everything you told me to do.

- Replace the brake pads? - All four.

Refill the master cylinder with brake fluid?

- To the top. - Bleed the brake line?

"Bleed the brake line?"

Would it be really big deal if I didn't?

[crashing]

Oh, my God!

Well, look at it this way. At least we know the airbag works.

Mr. Evans, are you alright?

Sam, my office now!

Yes, sir.

Sorry, Mr. Evans. Just a little mistake.

I'll get it right next time.

And, sir, you look handsome in the uniform!

Yes, those pants..

[indistinct screaming]

[sobbing]

What, you're mad?

For what, one little mistake?

J.T., you are responsible for totaling a car.

[sighs]

He wants me to fire you.

But you talked him out of it, right?

To tell you the truth, I-I think it's for the best.

What? But you're my girlfriend.

I know that, honey, and that's the reason

why I didn't want you to work here in the first place.

Well, looks like you got your wish, didn't you, honey?

Oh, so now it's my fault?

Hey, I'm not the one who wrecked the car.

No, but you could've stood up for me and you didn't.

Thanks for nothin', Sam. I'm out of here.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[man on TV] 'For God sake, Tony.'

'Tell me the truth!'

'Who is Lance Junior's real father?'

[woman on TV] 'Alright, Lance.'

'You're entitled to know.'

'The baby's real father is..'

What are you thinkin' about?

We just waited three months to find out

who Lance Junior's real father is.

Who cares? I got real problems.

Sam fired me today.

- Ha-ha. Yes, I win the pool. - Oh!

I bet you'd get fired in two days.

Yeah.

I had three days.

I figured even a bonehead like you

could last 72 hours.

Hello, I am in pain here. Doesn't anybody care?

What is going on down here?

Oh, guys, thank God you're home.

The worst thing happened to me today.

You finally realized you need relaxed-fit jeans?

No. Sam fired me. Can you believe it?

Oh, gosh, J.T., that's awful.

Finally a little sympathy. Thank you.

Sympathy, my butt. You just cost me five bucks in that pool!

I can't believe this.

Nobody in this family cares about my pain.

I might as well just go live on the streets alone.

Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out.

Okay, Lilly.

Oh, there she is, my beautiful baby sister, Lilly.

She loves me.

Listen, Lilly, I got some bad news.

You're not gonna believe this. Mean old Sam fired me today.

Does this mean you can't get me my birthday present?

I got nobody.

Wait a minute, J.T. What happened? Why did Sam fire you?

I made one little mistake.

- And what was that? - I almost killed her boss.

But only twice.

Well, it sounds like she didn't have any other choice.

Sure, she did, she could've stuck up for me but she didn't.

So I told her what she could do with her lousy job

and I walked out.

Wait, I don't believe this. You're mad at her?

She told you that workin' together was a bad idea.

I mean, J.T., you've done some pretty

stupid things in your life but this has gotta be

the most idiotic, ridiculous, thick headed--

Dana, Dana, Dana, do me a favor.

- What? - Zip it.

You're not helping at all.

In fact, why don't you take Rich and Lilly

and go into the kitchen, okay?

Let's go, come on. Come on.

[sighs]

J.T., I know you're upset

and I don't wanna hurt your feelings

but what you did is way off base.

Me? But I'm the one hurting here.

Let's just look at this whole thing

from Sam's side for a minute, okay?

I mean, to you it's just another job, right?

Well, to her, it's her livelihood. It's her career.

It's how she pays her rent, it's how she buys her food.

And she risked all that just to give you a chance.

Yeah?

So the right thing for you to do

would be to..

- Get a new girlfriend? - No.

No.

You think I should apologize, don't you?

Well, yes, don't you?

Yeah, I realize it's hard for some men to apologize.

You know, it's like asking for directions

or sharing the remote control.

Or learning how to zip up your pants in the dark.

[sighs] Sam's a great girl, J.T.

Don't lose her 'cause you're too proud to say you're sorry.

[instrumental music]

Ah!

I bet you that feels good, don't that, ol' gal?

Gettin' all stripped down.

'Losin' those barnacles and that old varnish.'

Oh, boy, there's gonna be a lot of jealous skippers

out on Lake Michigan when I get through with you.

Frank, I'm really worried about you.

Ah. Why, 'cause I'm workin' so late?

No, 'cause you're talking to your boat.

Uh, that's an old tradition, honey.

All guys talk to their boats.

Not like they wanna take it to a motel.

I'm just havin' a good time.

Maybe I did get a little carried away.

Just wish I understood why this old tub is so important to you.

Honey..

...has there ever been somethin' that you dreamed of havin'

but you knew you'd never get?

Yeah.

Mel Gibson in a hot tub.

- I'm serious. - So am I.

[laughing]

No, when-when I was a teenager

I used to have this summer job at the marina.

And every weekend, these rich guys

would jump on their big boats and sail off into the lake.

And...I used to think

someday I'm gonna have a lot of money

and I'm gonna have a boat just like that.

And instead you had a lot of kids.

Yup, and I love all seven of 'em.

But when I saw this boat, Carol, when I saw this

I said, "You know, I may not have a lot of money.

"I may not be rich, but I can still have my dream

and I can make it come true with my own two hands."

Oh, I'm sorry, Frank.

I just didn't realize how important this was to you.

It's a wonderful dream.

Yeah, well, you know the best part of it?

- What? Hmm. - I get to share it with you.

I mean, just think of it, sweetheart.

There it will be, anchored out there in the middle of the lake

bottle of wine, beautiful sunset.

[chuckles]

- I like that picture. - Mm-hmm.

Permission to come aboard?

Permission granted.

[instrumental music]

Sam? You're still here?

[Sam] We're closed.

Look, Sam..

...I know you don't wanna talk to me right now

but...I really need to talk to you.

Tough, I don't have time.

I've got a lot to do because someone screwed up

and now my boss is in traction.

Sam, I don't blame you for being mad at me.

I just really need to get somethin' off my chest.

I don't care.

But I need to talk to you face-to-face.

Look, you do that one more time and I'm gonna use this

torque wrench on something you really don't want torqued.

Okay, alright, Sam.

I-I know you're mad but just hear me out, okay?

Look, I was wrong for pushing you into recommending me

for this job, I mean..

...you put your reputation on the line

and...I screwed up.

Okay, I'm listening.

Sam, I don't blame you for firing me.

I mean, I, I was a jerk for blowin' up at you

and I'm really sorry.

- You mean that? - Absolutely.

I was totally wrong and I apologize.

You know, J.T., I'm impressed.

Most guys have such big egos

they could never say anything like that.

Well, Sam, I'm not most guys.

I'm a big enough man to admit when I'm wrong.

So what do you say, do you forgive me?

- Okay, but on one condition. - Anything.

You never come near this garage again.

Deal.

[crash]

I'm gone.

[instrumental music]

[crashing]

I'm okay. I'm cool.

- Hello, ladies. - Hey, Rich.

Did you hear the good news? J.T. got another job.

Oh, oh, I get two days in the pool.

Uh, honey, honey, I don't think

he's gonna get fired from this one.

He said they actually like him at this job.

- Where is he working? - You know, I'm not sure.

He said something that he's, uh, highly visible

in the food services industry.

Well, J.T.

I think you finally found your calling.

Being a great, big wiener.

Very funny.

Now help me get out of this thing.

I just had a monster chili dog

and the zipper's stuck.

Hey!

Rich, get over here..

I'm serious!

Help, I'm a wiener and I can't get up!

[instrumental music]