Original subtitles

Where are you?

Where the hell is everyone?

Jenny? Anyone?

I've got him.

He's here.

I know you're in here!

It's over! Come on!

Out you come!

Come on!

Coward! Finished!

Oh, Huw.

After all this time.

You were so close.

Catch you later, Detective.

I'm just saying it's probably gonna get a bit messy, that all.

Huw, you're 55.

Yeah, well, I can still party like a 20-year-old, can't I?

Yeah.

What?! What was -- What was that?

I'm just saying, you know what those guys are like.

It's gonna get a bit wild.

Yeah. How is Toby's angina these days?

Yeah, just 'cause you're not invited.

I've got a date with a hot bath and a bottle of wine,

so I'm counting on you not coming home too early.

Well, you know, there's gonna be curry and karaoke.

Do not come home early.

Dead man walking.

Stop it, Frank.

He's not bursting into tears all the time, is he?

He is being a very brave little soldier, I'll have you know.

Hello? I'm standing here. I'm -- I'm fine, actually.

He does looks a wee bit peaky.

Well, he would do.

It's the end of the world for him today, isn't it?

Oh, hi.

I just wanted to say a quick goodbye to the guys.

Err, I won't be a minute.

Oh, shit. Huw.

-Is it today? -Yeah. Yeah, it is.

Oh, mate.

Sorry I'd -- I'd completely forgotten.

How's, err -- How's Alice coping

with the idea of having you home every day?

Oh, well, she's, err -- she's booked double time at work.

Yeah, she's very cool, your wife.

Anyway, mate, listen, erm, good luck.

And, err, sorry you're leaving with unfinished business.

-Oh. -But still...

Yeah. And, err...

Yeah...

Alright, so...

Err, sorry, listen, everyone.

I just -- I just wanted to say...

Err, I've always wanted to be a cop.

Ever since I was a kid.

My Dad was one, and, err,

he, err -- he was a giant to me.

So, err, it's --

it's been, you know...

my life's dream, so...

Anyway, just, erm, good luck to all of you,

and to just let you know that I'll be, err --

err, over the road having a farewell pint.

So, if you feel like popping in for a -- a quick one or two.

Or -- Or 10.

Yeah. Then I'll...

Yeah, I'll -- I'll be there. Yeah.

Okay. Bye.

Right, um...

Guv!

Guv.

Sorry about them.

It's a -- It's a stressful case.

Oh, it's -- it's no worries.

Buy you a drink?

Yeah. Yeah, alright.

Oh, erm, I've, err... got you a present.

I mean, it's nothing really, but...

Oh.

-Ah. Thank you. -Alright?

God, they're awful, aren't they?

Yeah.

Yeah, I just -- I don't know what old men like.

I just thought, you know, I should mark the occasion.

I mean, we were quite the team for a bit.

Yeah. Yeah, erm, we were.

I mean, thank you.

But I don't wear cufflinks.

Yeah, well, you're welcome, you miserable arse.

-This isn't -- -Isn't what?

This isn't one of those,

"Oh, let's just pretend to ignore him all day,"

and then I'm gonna open that door

and they're all gonna be there and I'm gonna have to do

my sort "Oh, you guys" sort of face, is it?

-No, Guv. -Really?

Let's get the beers in, eh?

-Hi. -Hi.

Oh, yeah, sorry. It's just, that, you know,

the freezer door doesn't close, does it?

So, we're never gonna get anyone in.

I just thought I'd get on with it.

It's 7:00 a.m.

Well, it's got to be done at sometime, hasn't it?

-Morning, Professor. -Morning, Captain.

Ohh, could you not have brushed your teeth

before you broke our freezer?

Well, I told you it would be a big one, last night, didn't I?

Anyway, I'm not breaking it. I'm fixing it.

Day one of retirement going exactly to plan.

♪ She's made too plain, doing crosswords ♪

Hey, you.

♪ She called me name and I answer ♪

...while you're putting the kids in the car.

I took the day off.

Alright, mate?

♪ She's got some sweet soul ♪

♪ She's all I'm looking for ♪

♪ Some sweet soul ♪

Hi, guys.

Welcome to episode 4 of my podcast,

listing the top 10 greatest cock-ups by the police

in the last 20 years.

Today I'm going to tell you all about the Ripton Stalker

and the man who failed to catch him.

- -Take a bow,

Detective Inspector Huw Miller.

So, you cook a lot, you cycle a lot, you shop a lot.

Not a care in the world.

Sounds great.

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

How long before you blow your brains out?

I'd give it about two weeks.

Yep, about right.

-Ooh! -Boom. Look at that.

There we go.

Huw...

It's good. I'm just -- It's just a bit harder

than I expected, that's all. I --

I should never have taken early retirement.

I -- I mean, I only did that because my pension had matured.

I, err --

I've just got so much more to give.

Yeah, but you're -- you know, you're free now.

Well, yeah, but...

Do you think there is a single person

that lives their lives without regret?

Well, this is different, though, isn't it?

It's a useless emotion.

And you know it better than anyone.

Why can't I let it go then?

Because... you care more than most.

Because you're a good man.

And because you know I'm gonna beat you at golf.

-Ohh! -And you're coming over

all pathetic just to put me off my game.

No point asking you anything, is there, really?

♪ Goodbye ♪

♪ It's time for me to fly ♪

♪ Goodbye ♪

♪ Goodbye ♪

♪ It's time for me to fly ♪

Frank.

Frank?

Hey, Frank!

Frank?

It's Huw. I've just returned your club.

Frank?

I know you can never tell, but if you were to ask me

which of us would have a heart attack...

He was the fittest man I'd ever met.

With the dirtiest laugh.

Do you know her?

Yeah. Yeah. Err, sh-- Err, she's an old friend.

Well, she doesn't seem very friendly.

Err, you -- you going back to school?

Sorry, I have to get to this PTA meeting.

This is just terrible, isn't it?

So, erm, Jenny's just turned up.

What, for a heart attack?

Yeah, I know. It's a bit weird, isn't it?

Try not to get involved.

Yeah, I know, but if Jenny arrives --

Jenny's not retired. Remember?

Okay. See you later, girls.

-Bye -See you, Alice.

Hi. How are you? I'm fine. Oh, that's nice.

Can I come in? Yeah, of course, Jen. In you go.

Thanks so much.

Yeah, erm...

I thought you might help me, with a thing I just, erm,

-can't get my head round. -What, about Frank?

-What did you find? -No, no, no, not him.

No, erm, I've got a problem with a load of data

that was downloaded onto a flash drive at the station.

Someone copied all the files on the Ripton Stalker case.

You know anything about that?

Well, I'm -- I'm retired, Jenny.

Yeah, I'm glad you worked that out.

Because someone that stole confidential information

from the police could get themselves into

a lot of trouble if they didn't delete it all immediately.

So, what do they think, the paramedics?

What? Oh, it's nothing.

It's an OD.

An overdose?

What, Frank?

He -- He'd never take drugs.

Yeah, well, maybe you didn't know him so well.

-No, I-I knew him. -Yeah, I thought I knew you.

But here you are, lying to my face.

-Right, let's get out of here. -Yes, ma'am.

-Hi there, love. Alright? -Hiya.

Yeah. What you up to?

Oh, err, yeah, nothing much, fine.

Oh, good. Oh, good.

I was worried for a minute that you were doing something silly,

like snooping around Frank's house.

Are you...?

Don't say a word, alright?

I know. I know. Just don't --

Yeah. Right.

The Ripton Stalker watched his victims

for weeks before he acted.

There's a theory he got inside their houses

and watched them while they slept.

He'd mess with their minds, move things around their homes,

drive them crazy, and it was only then,

when they were really falling apart, that he'd kill them.

So give Detective Inspector Huw Miller a little credit.

The things he's seen would give us all nightmares.

By all accounts, Huw became

totally obsessed with catching him.

Every day for months, he would appear at press conferences,

saying how close he was.

But as time went by, the bodies just kept piling up.

And Miller just looked more and more stressed.

A year into the case, Huw suddenly announces

that he's done it, he's caught him,

only for his prime suspect, Declan Reid,

to be totally innocent.

Meanwhile, each time the killer committed his heinous crimes,

he would send Huw another letter,

each one ending with the same sign-off --

"Catch you later, Detective."

Miller was demoted from the case,

and the Ripton Stalker was never found.

I still can't believe it.

It's just the worst.

Was a lovely funeral, though.

Listen, I ordered you a little something

on Prime the other day.

I can't have you moping around the house anymore, Huw.

Your backside's wearing out the sofa.

-I do please beg your pardon. -

Ah.

-Thank you. -Go and enjoy a round.

You deserve it.

That's an order, Captain.

-Mwah. Bye. -Thanks, Prof.

♪ We'll remember the good things on ♪

♪ Boppin' and a-rockin' and a-singin' along ♪

- -♪ Slicked-back hair ♪

♪ And the cool shades on ♪

Hey. Hew neighbour.

That's me. Patrick.

Liz.

You're not moving this all on your own, are you?

Oh, it'll take no time.

No Mrs. Patrick to help?

Just me. I'm enough.

I could give you a hand.

No, I don't want you getting all dirty and...

No, I don't mind.

I like getting hot and sweaty.

Me too.

Just not over some boxes.

I'm gonna enjoy having you around.

My God, he's so fit!

-Really? -Runs a repair shop,

so knows what to do with his hands.

-Hey, Huw. -Hi!

And he is 100% single, so...

Yeah. Hi, hi. Sorry. Hi, Liz.

Yeah, just lusting after the new neighbour already, are you?

Yeah. We'll be lovers by the end of the week.

No, I'm serious.

Come on. I need an affair to save my marriage.

-Explain that to me. -Steve's lost all interest.

Seriously. Last week, I --

I came down completely naked,

sat next to him.

-Didn't look up once. -Ah!

How long were you sitting there naked?

A half an hour.

I'm serious. I was frozen.

Went upstairs, got in the bath, and erm...

...washed my hair.

-I'm popping out now. -Alright, love.

Bye, Huw.

There you are.

It's Patrick. I've just moved in opposite.

Oh.

-Huw, right? -Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, err, Steve and Paul sent me.

Said it was book club at yours, you'd need rescuing.

Oh, right, yeah. God bless yer.

We're all off to the pub.

It's really good to meet you.

And you. How are you settling in?

Well, I can't find the kettle, and all of my trousers

-have disappeared. -

So, there's real money in fixing junk?

Old clocks and stuff?

More than you'd imagine.

And I get to pick my own hours.

Shit. I should do that.

I can't keep chasing the next deal,

always hustling for work. This guy's got it sorted.

Especially compared to you, Paulo.

-You hate your job. -I don't hate it.

I just don't know what I'm doing.

I spend the whole day moving files around,

-waiting to get sacked. -Actually --

Actually, the only guy who's got it sorted is Huw.

-No. -Retired at 55.

Fifty-sodding-five.

I don't think early retirement

is anything to brag about, really.

Are you joking? You literally get

-to play golf all day. - Yeah.

It's weird, though. I don't think I'm really ready.

You know, I get that.

But you're still smarter than all of us.

That's not difficult, is it?

Hey, why don't you do that thing for Patrick?

-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. -You'll love this.

-Go on. -Oh, don't think so.

I don't think Patrick wants to listen --

-Come on, Huw. -Come on, mate. Do it.

-It's brilliant. -Err, okay, okay.

Right, err, from the doorway, going left,

there is a 20-something guy in grey jumper

with his red-headed girlfriend.

Err, he's drinking a pint of bitter.

She's drinking gin and tonic.

And the next table, there's three lads,

all wearing jeans and white trainers.

They're drinking pints of stout.

Then halfway up the bar, you've got two young women.

One's, err, brunette, and one's a blonde,

and they're drinking Diet Cokes,

but they're topping them up with rum from a hip flask.

Then the table, table next to the bar,

you've got a really bored 30-something married couple.

And they're on their phones, of course.

And he's drinking bitter, and she's on her fourth vodka,

which, in itself, tells its own story.

He can do the whole room!

You're right, Huw. You're wasted in retirement.

Oh, I think anyone could do it with a bit of practice.

No. You're unique.

I think he should be burned at the stake for witchcraft.

You worried he'll discover your secrets?

-I haven't got any. -We've all got them.

No. Saint Stephen of Ripton. That's me.

Holy martyr tortured for his good deeds

by an insanely demanding and attention-seeking wife.

Well, she's a bit forward.

Mate, it's never-ending.

Last week, she came downstairs buck naked

just to get a reaction.

I had to pretend I didn't notice.

Come on. Drink up. My round.

-See you guys. -Night, Paulo.

Hey. Right. This is me.

-Evening, gents. -Night, night.

Yeah, night, Stevie. Yeah.

-I like them. -Yeah.

Yeah, we're -- we're lucky to have such good neighbours.

And I meant it when I said you are wasted in retirement.

You need a new challenge.

Well, I think I'm okay for a bit.

Yeah, I suppose I --

I probably should slow down, really, shouldn't I?

Yeah? Really?

Okay.

Well, this was fun.

Yeah. Yeah, it was, wasn't it?

Yeah, I mean, we should -- we should do it again.

Alright.

Catch you later.

Catch you later.

Catch you later, Detective.

Each one ending with the same sign-off --

"Catch you later, Detective."

Catch you later.

-Catch you later. -You're so close.

Catch you later, Detective.

Morning.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Hi. Morning. Yeah.

You were very quiet when you got in last night.

I'm gonna go out for a ride.

-Hi. -Oh. Yeah. Hi, hi.

What can I help you with?

Well, are we just gonna talk out here?

Yeah.

Okay, well, erm, listen, the first thing is,

I just want to say sorry about last time.

I just don't need you to have worry about

all that kind of stuff.

Good. Thank you. I appreciate you popping by.

Just another thing. Erm, erm...

You know my neighbour Frank?

You told me that it was a suspected OD?

Yeah, that's what it looked like, I heard.

So, with the postmortem report, what did that find?

-You're not a relative. -Yeah, but my friend --

my friend would never have killed himself like that.

-There's just no way. -Look, we both know

plenty of people who seemed perfectly happy

and then went and topped themselves.

Yeah, but there's something wrong with that report.

Unless I see it, then I won't know what that is.

Could you -- Could you sort of find it for me?

No, because the death's not being treated as suspicious.

-But it is suspicious! -Fuck's sake.

Sorry, sorry. It is suspicious.

Jenny, a perfectly healthy guy like that

just dying in that way?

Then this Patrick just moving into his house?

-Who the hell's Patrick? -Look, just look at that report.

It does not add up.

Now, just come on, Jenny.

-You can go now. -Yeah --

Okay. sorry. I'm -- I'm just a bit wound up.

Look, you can't do this, coming in here, asking --

I know, but it's just me and you, isn't it?

Have you really got rid of that flash drive?

Just look at that report.

That was not a suicide.

You're a bit too quiet.

I'm alright.

Are you missing Frank?

Me too.

That Patrick guy seems nice enough, though.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, Captain.

You'll be okay. You know that. You've got me.

-Mm. -What more do you need?

Nothing, Professor.

Nothing. Exactly.

Listen. Listen.

Oh.

I love this song.

♪ Never easy ♪

I know it must feel odd,

like you've just been cut loose.

But I'm here with you, all the way.

Yeah?

Wherever we drift,

wherever the tides take us.

♪ With the promise ♪

When the term ends, let's just -- just go away,

to Vietnam or Thailand,

somewhere just miles away from here.

Just disappear for a while.

I'd like that.

I mean, there's nothing stopping us now.

-Morning. -Hi. This is --

This is a crazy idea, and I don't even know if you play,

but do you fancy a round of golf?

I'm really shit at golf.

Why do I not believe you?

Where were you living before?

Just on the outskirts of town.

Err, you've -- you've just moved in so quickly.

I mean, the house was barely on the market, was it?

You love your questions, don't you?

Well, once a copper...

Err, when did you move to Ripton?

Right, if we are playing 20 questions,

-then I should get a turn. -Err, alright.

Err, why did you move into our street?

-I like the neighbourhood. -And how --

No. It's my turn.

What's the most important thing in the world to you?

Alice. My wife.

Err, have you ever been married?

No. Why did you ask me to play golf with you today?

Just wanted to get to know you. I mean, it seems to me you know

-a lot about me already. -And why would you think that?

I don't know. It's just a hunch.

Am I wrong?

No.

No, you're not.

I'm not being honest with you. I, err...

I Googled you.

I read all about that terrible case.

I am so sorry, Huw.

Must be awful, living with that,

not knowing where he is,

who he is,

what he's doing.

I mean, that would drive me crazy.

What's your question?

Are you over it yet?

I...got over it years ago.

-Really? -My turn.

Why do you care?

I guess we're the same, you and me.

Mm.

Just wanting to get to know each other.

Mm.

Actually, now you know what a woman --

Well, it's finally happened.

First time this guy hasn't been up at 6:00

in, what, 30 years?

Yeah, well, I didn't -- didn't sleep very well, did I?

Erm, what are you doing here?

Shouldn't you be at work?

It's Saturday, silly.

Man, you are so retired.

Do you wanna coffee?

Err, no, I think I'll go and get changed.

-I'm in the way. -No, no, of course you're not.

Of course you're not. Look at this, Huw.

Yes, err, next weekend.

Hopefully we'll get the whole street together.

Yeah, I've talked to Liz. She's very keen.

-Oh, I bet she is. -Yeah.

All the decorating should be done by then.

Can't wait to see what you've done with the place.

Yeah. Me too.

Great. It's a date.

Hey! It's my favourite couple.

-Hi. -Come in.

Wow!

Oh!

-There you go. -I'm so glad you're here.

Yes. Me too.

This is amazing!

-Alice! over here! -Hey.

Yeah!

You alright? You look gorgeous!

Here, take this.

Cheers.

I see you've got most of the street here, haven't you?

Even Susan Barnes. Look, there she is.

She doesn't normally go anywhere.

How did you do that?

I have to play host. See you in a bit.

Yeah. Cheers.

Patrick! Patrick!

Do me a favour?

Get another bottle of fizz out of the fridge

and just keep Liz's glass full.

If I go over there, honestly,

I don't think I'll make it back with my trousers on.

♪ You make me feel good ♪

♪ You make me feel so right ♪

♪ Baby, come on ♪

♪ See what you do ♪

♪ Let's go, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, I got this feeling ♪

♪ I can't deny ♪

♪ I got this feeling, yeah, I can't deny ♪

♪ Let's rock ♪

♪ I got this feeling ♪

♪ I got this feeling I can't deny ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

I was just, err...

I don't believe you.

No, Alice, I just happened to be --

No. No. We're not doing this here.

Well, I swear, I'm just --

We will go home right this minute,

and you can explain it to me there.

-I was -- -Not here.

What is the matter with you?

I was just being a bit nosey.

There's no -- no need to get out of shape about it.

No. What is it?

I mean, it's alright for you, isn't it?

I mean, you -- you go to work.

Stop lying! What is going on?

Alice, nothing is going on.

Okay.

Okay.

I think -- I know --

In fact, I -- I know for certain --

and I swear to you, Alice --

that Patrick is the Ripton Stalker.

No, he's been waiting for an opportunity all these years,

and now that I'm retired, he's coming to get me.

-Oh, my God. -And he called out to me

on the first night that we met.

And when I heard it, it was -- it was like I was back there,

like I was back in the warehouse.

-What did he say? -And it's --

it's definitely him. I recognise his voice.

What did he say?

"Catch you later."

But everybody says that.

Yeah, not in the way he said it.

He was taunting me.

I thought we were past this.

It's him!

Because he said "catch you later"?!

No, see, 'cause it's not just me.

'Cause Liz said that when he bought the house,

he bought it without a viewing.

I mean, that is not normal, is it?

Is it?

And then there's -- there's Frank's death.

Which the police are dealing with.

Yeah, but they're -- You know, they're just lazy.

Oh, my God, you're doing it again.

All the same things.

But it's him, Alice!

Huw, you had a nervous breakdown.

Our daughter barely speaks to us.

And you nearly crushed our marriage.

And you want to do that to us again?

-But, Alice, this is -- -I made you promise me

that you wouldn't drag me back into that madness again.

We won't survive if you do.

Do you not remember what you were like?

Obsessing.

Not sleeping.

Imagining clues that didn't exist.

No, no! This is wrong!

You're just chasing shadows

because your life is suddenly empty

and you're looking to fill it.

And you're going back down that road.

You're gonna jump off a cliff.

I know you are.

And I'm not gonna jump with you.

Not this time.

But I...

Oh, God. God, Alice, no.

No.

I don't -- I don't want to go back there again.

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry, Alice.

Alice, Alice, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'll -- I'll do better. I'll -- I'll try.

I'll try. I will. I promise.

I'm so sorry.

I love you. I love you.

Er, Harry downstairs said you wanted this.

-Postmortem report? -Oh, yeah.

Some random, just a suicide I think.

Yeah?

Lives on the same road as Huw Miller.

Miller?

Cor, that speech he gave.

The whole room was just...

cringing.

Doesn't make any sense.

You're just -- You're begging him, right,

-to stop talking. -There's got to be a needle.

I just...

I wanted him to disappear,

stop making a fool of himself, you know?

Shit.

Hi, Ruth. I'm sorry I've not been in --

I'd be dead if it wasn't for you.

-You stopped him. -And I let him get away.

Ruth, this is Patrick. Patrick, this is Ruth.

-Do you think it's him? -Hi, Dad.

-Margot?! -Is that your --

That is my daughter.

Did you see Ruth today?

I just need to know if it's him or not.

What about me?!

He's never thought about us.

Not once. I mean, come on, Dad!

Me and Huw -- we're slowly heading towards the exit.

-You love your games. -So do you.

I love you.

So stop this while you still can.

You live for the hunt.