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1
00:00:11,774 --> 00:00:14,576
I am the mother
of his fucking child.
2
00:00:14,610 --> 00:00:15,710
Yeah, twins.
3
00:00:15,745 --> 00:00:17,946
Mmm.
Shit, yeah, you right. Twins!
4
00:00:17,980 --> 00:00:21,082
You might get the new
girl, but you'll never get these.
5
00:00:21,117 --> 00:00:22,784
On the count of three,
say whatever's in your heart.
6
00:00:22,818 --> 00:00:24,786
One, two, three.
7
00:00:24,820 --> 00:00:26,121
Death.
Intercourse.
8
00:00:27,356 --> 00:00:29,657
No!
9
00:00:45,541 --> 00:00:48,510
Oh, that's a good one.
10
00:00:48,544 --> 00:00:51,746
Women are
fun to look at, aren't they?
11
00:00:51,781 --> 00:00:54,182
I think it's pretty obvious
they were made to look at.
12
00:00:54,216 --> 00:00:56,317
Oh, sure they have brains
and they do stuff.
13
00:00:56,352 --> 00:00:59,320
Some of them do important stuff
like run banks and teach math,
14
00:00:59,355 --> 00:01:01,189
but I really don't
like that kind.
15
00:01:01,223 --> 00:01:02,857
I like the lookin' kind.
16
00:01:02,892 --> 00:01:04,225
And I'll tell ya
something else, too,
17
00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:06,461
I like looking at
different kinds of women.
18
00:01:06,495 --> 00:01:09,864
Blondes, brunettes,
the whole silly peepshow.
19
00:01:09,899 --> 00:01:12,834
I think in tonight's episode
you'll see a few women.
20
00:01:12,868 --> 00:01:14,502
Now don't pay much
attention to the noises
21
00:01:14,537 --> 00:01:15,737
coming out of their mouths.
22
00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:17,372
It's not very interesting.
23
00:01:17,406 --> 00:01:20,375
Just look at 'em.
24
00:01:20,409 --> 00:01:22,577
It's what we're supposed to do.
25
00:01:22,777 --> 00:01:32,977
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
26
00:01:49,505 --> 00:01:52,240
Tonight on Funny or Die Presents.
27
00:01:52,274 --> 00:01:55,777
Episode one of Lady Refs.
28
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:59,447
Then Rachael Harrisjoins Rob Huebel in
29
00:01:59,481 --> 00:02:01,416
Do you want to see a dead body?
30
00:02:02,551 --> 00:02:04,219
The Burn Unit.
31
00:02:05,221 --> 00:02:07,188
And the movie of the week,
32
00:02:07,223 --> 00:02:08,957
Sticky Minds.
33
00:02:15,231 --> 00:02:17,098
Keep it clean, keep it clean.
34
00:02:22,538 --> 00:02:23,838
Mmm.
35
00:02:23,873 --> 00:02:25,406
God damn, she's fine.
36
00:02:27,910 --> 00:02:29,010
Hey, Jablonsky, who's ball,
37
00:02:29,044 --> 00:02:30,445
panda's or unicorn's?
38
00:02:30,479 --> 00:02:31,913
Uh, panda's.
39
00:02:35,417 --> 00:02:37,685
Jablonsky, focus up.
You're making me look bad out there.
40
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,154
You could never look bad.
41
00:02:40,189 --> 00:02:41,856
Hey, why don't you call
this game and we, uh,
42
00:02:41,891 --> 00:02:43,992
hit the showers
like old times, huh?
43
00:02:44,026 --> 00:02:45,393
No, thanks.
44
00:02:45,427 --> 00:02:47,462
Ooh, look, hot new girl in town.
45
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,268
She's applying for
the ref position,
46
00:02:53,302 --> 00:02:54,903
and that's her fiancé.
47
00:02:54,937 --> 00:02:56,638
Get your mind out of
her pussy, Dirkson.
48
00:02:56,672 --> 00:02:58,706
She's not on our team.
49
00:02:58,741 --> 00:03:01,242
Hi, I'm Kennedy
and I wanna be a ref.
50
00:03:02,378 --> 00:03:03,645
Score.
51
00:03:07,616 --> 00:03:09,150
♪ If you're offsides,out of bounds
52
00:03:09,184 --> 00:03:10,885
♪ to play real roughand show them down
53
00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:12,487
♪ even you would get a bump
54
00:03:12,521 --> 00:03:14,322
♪ 'cause when I kickI kick it hard
55
00:03:14,356 --> 00:03:17,058
♪ every time you hearthe whistle go
56
00:03:17,092 --> 00:03:18,626
♪ that's me in control
57
00:03:18,661 --> 00:03:20,528
♪ we're playing sudden death
58
00:03:20,596 --> 00:03:23,998
♪ lady refs ♪
59
00:03:30,606 --> 00:03:33,207
In that situation, I'd call a pk.
60
00:03:33,242 --> 00:03:34,275
What's that?
61
00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:35,810
Penalty kick.
62
00:03:35,844 --> 00:03:38,179
Sorry, he's new to soccer.
63
00:03:38,213 --> 00:03:40,615
Let's continue
the interview inside.
64
00:03:40,649 --> 00:03:42,083
Sorry.
65
00:03:42,117 --> 00:03:43,685
Girls only.
66
00:03:43,719 --> 00:03:44,886
Yeah, that's all right.
I'll just wait...
67
00:03:49,625 --> 00:03:51,492
She thinks the new girl's so hot.
68
00:03:51,527 --> 00:03:54,729
Wait till Dirkson gets a
load of these killer abs.
69
00:03:54,797 --> 00:03:56,164
Hey.
70
00:03:56,198 --> 00:03:58,666
I could use you in Afghanistan.
71
00:03:58,701 --> 00:04:00,234
And I could use a shower.
72
00:04:03,272 --> 00:04:05,373
Okay. Excuse me.
73
00:04:11,747 --> 00:04:13,982
In Spain, they call it football?
74
00:04:14,016 --> 00:04:15,683
Fifty for fifty.
Yeah!
75
00:04:15,718 --> 00:04:17,118
You're a lady ref, now.
76
00:04:17,152 --> 00:04:18,286
Whoo!
77
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,854
I'm gonna hit the showers.
78
00:04:19,888 --> 00:04:21,389
You in?
79
00:04:21,423 --> 00:04:23,091
No, uh,
80
00:04:23,125 --> 00:04:24,158
I'm engaged.
81
00:04:24,193 --> 00:04:25,693
What?
82
00:04:25,728 --> 00:04:27,528
Engaged girls don't
wash their hair?
83
00:04:29,798 --> 00:04:31,733
Hand me the pert plus.
84
00:04:31,767 --> 00:04:33,034
I can't reach it.
85
00:04:38,273 --> 00:04:40,475
More like pert minus.
86
00:04:40,509 --> 00:04:43,111
You might get the new girl,
but you'll never get these.
87
00:04:43,145 --> 00:04:44,612
Jablonsky!
88
00:04:44,646 --> 00:04:47,015
Come on, man!
89
00:04:48,050 --> 00:04:50,551
Hey, is Afghanistan
far from here?
90
00:04:50,586 --> 00:04:52,053
You bet.
91
00:04:52,087 --> 00:04:53,187
Well, sign me up.
92
00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:57,392
Hey! You got the job!
93
00:04:57,426 --> 00:04:58,493
Boy, that was a long interview.
94
00:04:58,527 --> 00:04:59,727
You were in there for five hours.
95
00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:06,334
God, you are glowing right now.
96
00:05:06,368 --> 00:05:08,102
'Cause I got the job, Seth.
97
00:05:08,137 --> 00:05:10,371
Not because I just had sex,
or anything like that.
98
00:05:12,941 --> 00:05:14,108
Yeah, you did.
99
00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:20,381
Next time on Lady Refs...
100
00:05:20,416 --> 00:05:23,684
I think the unicorns ought
to pack their suitcases.
101
00:05:23,719 --> 00:05:24,886
Capisce?
102
00:05:27,589 --> 00:05:29,991
No!
103
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:31,459
She's flatlining!
104
00:05:31,493 --> 00:05:33,127
Clear!
105
00:05:33,162 --> 00:05:34,295
Clear!
106
00:05:58,954 --> 00:06:00,588
Rachel?
Oh, God!
107
00:06:00,622 --> 00:06:01,823
Rachel!
108
00:06:01,857 --> 00:06:03,591
Hey, it's Rob.
What are you...
109
00:06:03,625 --> 00:06:05,393
This is so great to see you.
You look beautiful.
110
00:06:05,427 --> 00:06:06,461
You look so sexy.
111
00:06:06,495 --> 00:06:07,762
Rob, what's...
112
00:06:07,796 --> 00:06:09,197
Your dick, what's going
on with your dick?
113
00:06:09,231 --> 00:06:11,566
Oh? Oh gosh, that's so embarrassing.
I'm so sorry.
114
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,167
I fell asleep in the bushes.
115
00:06:13,202 --> 00:06:14,368
I think I might've
had a sexy dream.
116
00:06:14,403 --> 00:06:15,470
Why did you break up with me?
117
00:06:15,504 --> 00:06:16,737
Rob...
118
00:06:16,772 --> 00:06:18,005
Come on. Do you want to hang out?
119
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,440
Do you want to spend
some time together?
120
00:06:19,475 --> 00:06:21,042
I'm actually on my
way to go on a hike.
121
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:22,510
Wait. Which way
are you gonna go?
122
00:06:22,544 --> 00:06:23,811
On the count of three, you
say which way you're going,
123
00:06:23,846 --> 00:06:24,946
and I'll say which way I'm going.
124
00:06:24,980 --> 00:06:26,047
Okay.
One, two, three.
125
00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:27,315
That way.
126
00:06:27,349 --> 00:06:29,050
I should just come with you.
No.
127
00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:30,318
Rob, I have a boyfriend.
128
00:06:30,352 --> 00:06:32,587
The reason I want you
to hike with me
129
00:06:32,621 --> 00:06:34,322
is because I wanna
show you something.
130
00:06:34,356 --> 00:06:35,923
Well, I don't want to
play that game again.
131
00:06:35,958 --> 00:06:37,458
I'm not playing a game, I really
want to show you something
132
00:06:37,493 --> 00:06:40,194
that I think you're going
to really want to see.
133
00:06:41,497 --> 00:06:42,663
Do you want to see a dead body?
134
00:06:47,002 --> 00:06:48,503
Tell me about this new boyfriend.
135
00:06:49,805 --> 00:06:51,239
Do you really wanna hear this?
136
00:06:52,441 --> 00:06:53,808
How's the love making?
137
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:57,578
I'm not going to go
into that with you.
138
00:06:57,613 --> 00:07:00,214
Oh, look!
139
00:07:00,249 --> 00:07:01,549
A picnic.
140
00:07:01,583 --> 00:07:04,218
Who left this out here in
the middle of nowhere?
141
00:07:04,253 --> 00:07:06,420
We should enjoy this.
142
00:07:06,455 --> 00:07:08,623
Just for one minute.
143
00:07:08,657 --> 00:07:10,291
Look at these cherries.
144
00:07:10,325 --> 00:07:11,359
Your favorite.
145
00:07:11,393 --> 00:07:12,426
Yeah.
146
00:07:12,461 --> 00:07:14,028
Cherries are my favorite. Mmm.
147
00:07:14,062 --> 00:07:15,263
That's weird that they're
just sitting out here.
148
00:07:15,297 --> 00:07:16,764
These are so great.
You should try one.
149
00:07:16,798 --> 00:07:18,699
Can I feed one to you?
No.
150
00:07:18,734 --> 00:07:20,234
If there's seriously a dead
body, we should call the cops.
151
00:07:20,269 --> 00:07:21,802
I think you're lying.
There is a dead body...
152
00:07:21,837 --> 00:07:23,104
No. ...
And I'm gonna show it to you.
153
00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,205
It's a little ways over here.
154
00:07:24,239 --> 00:07:25,840
Don't worry,
let's have some wine.
155
00:07:25,874 --> 00:07:27,308
I wanna toast to something.
156
00:07:27,342 --> 00:07:28,342
Rob, I'm not going
to toast with you.
157
00:07:28,377 --> 00:07:31,045
Mmm. White wine.
You love white wine.
158
00:07:31,079 --> 00:07:32,380
Okay, let's just make a toast.
159
00:07:32,414 --> 00:07:34,348
On the count of three,
say whatever's in your heart.
160
00:07:34,383 --> 00:07:36,350
One, two, three.
161
00:07:36,385 --> 00:07:37,718
Death.
Intercourse.
162
00:07:57,739 --> 00:07:59,941
Is that you, or the wildflowers?
163
00:08:00,943 --> 00:08:02,677
Shh.
What?
164
00:08:02,711 --> 00:08:03,844
I thought I heard something.
165
00:08:03,912 --> 00:08:05,079
Wait, what? Shh!
166
00:08:05,113 --> 00:08:06,147
I think it's a bear.
167
00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:07,215
You stay here.
What?
168
00:08:07,249 --> 00:08:08,583
Stay here.
Rob, you don't need...
169
00:08:08,617 --> 00:08:10,251
I'll be back.
Why would you go to the bear?
170
00:08:10,285 --> 00:08:11,419
I'll protect you!
171
00:08:13,121 --> 00:08:14,155
Oh, my God.
172
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:15,756
Rob!
It's a big bear!
173
00:08:15,791 --> 00:08:17,291
It's mauling me!
174
00:08:17,326 --> 00:08:19,393
Somebody help us, he's
getting mauled by a bear!
175
00:08:19,428 --> 00:08:21,662
It's a bear! It's a fucking bear!
What? Oh, my God...
176
00:08:21,697 --> 00:08:23,164
Somebody's gotta help us!
177
00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:25,600
It's a bear!
178
00:08:25,634 --> 00:08:26,968
It's a bear.
179
00:08:30,472 --> 00:08:31,572
Fuck you!
180
00:08:32,474 --> 00:08:33,741
Everything I do
181
00:08:33,775 --> 00:08:35,576
I do for you.
182
00:08:35,611 --> 00:08:38,179
I thought you were being
mauled by a bear, Rob.
183
00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:40,348
I know. You're so stupid.
Why do you...
184
00:08:40,382 --> 00:08:41,782
Look, he's got
a heart right here.
185
00:08:42,851 --> 00:08:44,418
'Cause I used to love you.
186
00:08:44,453 --> 00:08:46,487
I don't want your stupid bear.
187
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:50,358
I wish you hadn't done that.
188
00:08:50,392 --> 00:08:51,626
Not much further,
189
00:08:52,694 --> 00:08:53,828
sweet pea.
190
00:08:55,831 --> 00:08:58,799
Oh!
What? What is it the dead body?
191
00:09:00,035 --> 00:09:01,736
No...
What is it?
192
00:09:01,770 --> 00:09:02,970
You have to see this.
193
00:09:03,005 --> 00:09:05,373
Okay, what is it?
I can't see. What is it?
194
00:09:05,407 --> 00:09:06,741
Jesus, Rob!
195
00:09:06,775 --> 00:09:09,176
They're doing it.
Yeah, they're having sex. God...
196
00:09:09,211 --> 00:09:11,312
Do you remember the
last time we had sex?
197
00:09:12,614 --> 00:09:14,048
Yeah, you farted
198
00:09:14,082 --> 00:09:15,249
and shit came out.
199
00:09:16,551 --> 00:09:18,586
Oh, yeah, sorry about that.
200
00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:19,787
Can we go?
201
00:09:20,856 --> 00:09:22,256
Just one more minute.
No.
202
00:09:22,291 --> 00:09:24,058
Come on.
They're so young...
203
00:09:24,092 --> 00:09:26,093
Rob, no. I'm not
watching this.
204
00:09:26,128 --> 00:09:27,395
Rob!
205
00:09:28,697 --> 00:09:30,164
Okay, don't open 'em.
206
00:09:30,198 --> 00:09:31,699
Rob, I swear to God if this is...
No peeking.
207
00:09:31,733 --> 00:09:33,334
...Another fucking...
No peeking.
208
00:09:33,368 --> 00:09:34,869
...Couple thing, I'm going to kill you.
Now, listen.
209
00:09:34,903 --> 00:09:36,937
Before I show you, I want you to know...
What?
210
00:09:36,972 --> 00:09:38,506
...This is going
to be very sad.
211
00:09:38,540 --> 00:09:39,840
Okay.
It's gonna be very sad,
212
00:09:39,875 --> 00:09:41,609
and you might need
some emotional support.
213
00:09:41,643 --> 00:09:43,344
Okay. Okay.
But, I'm right here.
214
00:09:44,346 --> 00:09:45,513
There she is.
215
00:09:45,547 --> 00:09:46,647
Oh, my God.
216
00:09:46,682 --> 00:09:47,815
I know, it's so sad.
217
00:09:48,884 --> 00:09:50,618
No, that's fucking amazing.
218
00:09:50,652 --> 00:09:52,053
Now, do you want to cry?
Holy shit.
219
00:09:52,087 --> 00:09:53,587
I need to get up there!
Wait, wait, it.
220
00:09:53,622 --> 00:09:54,889
It's not really...
You're not supposed to...
221
00:09:54,923 --> 00:09:56,691
Look at her dress.
Look at her dress! What?
222
00:09:56,725 --> 00:09:57,992
We're like the same size.
223
00:09:58,026 --> 00:09:59,293
Rob, I could get
married in this dress!
224
00:09:59,328 --> 00:10:00,428
Think about it.
It's a great memory.
225
00:10:00,462 --> 00:10:01,662
What are you doing?
What are you talking about?
226
00:10:01,697 --> 00:10:03,197
You finally get me.
227
00:10:03,231 --> 00:10:04,799
Oh, my God, look at these.
I thought you were going to be sad.
228
00:10:04,833 --> 00:10:06,534
I think you're experiencing
the wrong emotion.
229
00:10:06,568 --> 00:10:07,802
Rob, this is what I've
been waiting for from you!
230
00:10:07,836 --> 00:10:08,903
I just want to comfort you.
231
00:10:08,937 --> 00:10:10,671
The fact that you're
so fucking edgy.
232
00:10:10,706 --> 00:10:12,440
My boyfriend, he's not edgy,
233
00:10:12,474 --> 00:10:14,342
he doesn't get me like you do.
I'm not edgy, either!
234
00:10:14,376 --> 00:10:15,810
Look! I'm wearing
a tank top.
235
00:10:15,844 --> 00:10:17,144
Rob, somebody took her ring!
236
00:10:17,179 --> 00:10:18,245
Where is this coming from?
237
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:19,347
We have to find it!
238
00:10:19,381 --> 00:10:20,715
You're a gross person!
239
00:10:20,749 --> 00:10:22,083
If I find this ring,
240
00:10:22,117 --> 00:10:24,585
you're putting it
on my fucking finger.
241
00:10:24,619 --> 00:10:27,021
Rob! Wait!
I'm sorry I ran into you!
242
00:10:31,993 --> 00:10:33,594
Daddy has to go to work.
243
00:10:33,628 --> 00:10:36,864
These are the wordsthat crush their hearts.
244
00:10:40,068 --> 00:10:41,836
I'll be back.
245
00:10:41,870 --> 00:10:43,170
Being alone for a dog,
246
00:10:43,205 --> 00:10:45,272
is an incomprehensible nightmare.
247
00:10:45,307 --> 00:10:47,408
They see things we cannot see.
248
00:10:47,442 --> 00:10:49,343
They hear things we cannot hear.
249
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:53,547
You'llstarve without him.
250
00:10:53,582 --> 00:10:54,849
You willstarve here.
251
00:10:54,883 --> 00:10:56,083
It hurts to starve.
252
00:10:57,252 --> 00:10:58,586
You have tumors in your body.
253
00:10:58,620 --> 00:10:59,653
They'll take you away
254
00:10:59,688 --> 00:11:01,088
and put you in a cage!
255
00:11:01,957 --> 00:11:03,057
Kill yourself.
256
00:11:03,091 --> 00:11:04,658
They put your mother to sleep.
257
00:11:06,795 --> 00:11:09,296
I almost forgot.
258
00:11:09,331 --> 00:11:10,564
Don't leave your dogs
259
00:11:10,599 --> 00:11:12,566
in the hands of the demons.
260
00:11:12,601 --> 00:11:13,768
Leave them dancing.
261
00:11:13,802 --> 00:11:16,203
The beehive gang proudly presents
262
00:11:16,238 --> 00:11:17,938
Songs for Our Dogs.
263
00:11:17,973 --> 00:11:21,308
A collection of over 2,600classic dog songs
264
00:11:21,343 --> 00:11:24,678
in a beautifully laminated14 CD set.
265
00:11:35,557 --> 00:11:37,725
He loves it.And why wouldn't he?
266
00:11:37,759 --> 00:11:40,828
He's listening to the
beautiful dog songs
267
00:11:40,862 --> 00:11:42,496
of Ted Grazer,
268
00:11:42,531 --> 00:11:44,098
Lady Laverne,
269
00:11:44,132 --> 00:11:46,233
and the Flower of Boston himself,
270
00:11:46,268 --> 00:11:47,401
Dar'El.
271
00:11:51,673 --> 00:11:54,141
That pooch is in paradise.
272
00:11:56,511 --> 00:11:59,680
Listen as masters
of the art of dog song
273
00:11:59,714 --> 00:12:02,917
sing all the classic d'ongsyou know so well.
274
00:12:07,122 --> 00:12:10,257
With over 2,600 dog songs like.
275
00:12:10,292 --> 00:12:11,459
Pumpkin Pearly.
276
00:12:15,897 --> 00:12:17,298
Get That Ball.
277
00:12:23,371 --> 00:12:24,572
Oooh ooh.
278
00:12:26,208 --> 00:12:27,641
Beautiful day.
279
00:12:30,779 --> 00:12:31,879
You just did,
280
00:12:31,913 --> 00:12:34,415
by ordering Songs for Our Dogs.
281
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:36,150
Order within thenext five minutes
282
00:12:36,184 --> 00:12:37,952
and receive an audio CD
283
00:12:37,986 --> 00:12:40,621
filled with hilariousdog song bloopers.
284
00:12:40,655 --> 00:12:42,823
I'm blocking the dog's...
285
00:12:42,858 --> 00:12:45,759
All this for only
seven easy payments of $7.
286
00:12:45,794 --> 00:12:48,496
Or, pay it all right nowfor $59.99.
287
00:12:48,530 --> 00:12:51,131
That's right,for just $59.99
288
00:12:51,166 --> 00:12:53,000
you can leave your dog anywhere,
289
00:12:53,034 --> 00:12:57,338
as long as it's listeningto Songs of Our Dogs.
290
00:13:02,844 --> 00:13:04,044
Go to him.
291
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:06,780
Show him you love him.
292
00:13:06,815 --> 00:13:09,149
You didn't even
notice I was gone.
293
00:13:09,184 --> 00:13:11,185
Invite us into your home.
294
00:13:11,219 --> 00:13:13,787
We only go where we're invited.
295
00:13:13,822 --> 00:13:14,855
Call now.
296
00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:16,790
555-0131.
297
00:13:16,825 --> 00:13:18,659
That's 555-0131.
298
00:13:18,693 --> 00:13:20,995
Again, that's 555-0131.
299
00:13:21,029 --> 00:13:23,664
You know it by heart.Oh, thirteen one.
300
00:13:47,222 --> 00:13:49,290
Well, you were very
smart to come to us.
301
00:13:49,324 --> 00:13:51,625
Mmm-hmm. 'Cause we
all been cheated on.
302
00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:54,361
I am the mother
of his fucking child.
303
00:13:54,396 --> 00:13:55,563
Yeah, twins!
304
00:13:55,597 --> 00:13:57,831
Mmm. Shit, yeah, you right. Twins!
305
00:13:57,866 --> 00:13:59,733
Mmm-hmm. So, ya'll gonna help me.
306
00:13:59,768 --> 00:14:00,935
You got the money?
307
00:14:01,970 --> 00:14:03,103
It's all here.
308
00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:05,973
Okay, so what's the plan, ladies?
309
00:14:06,007 --> 00:14:07,374
We gotta find out
310
00:14:07,409 --> 00:14:10,578
what that motherfucker
loves the most
311
00:14:10,612 --> 00:14:12,246
and burn that shit to the ground!
312
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,516
Burn that nigger down
to the ground!
313
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:17,685
We got a deal, miss Peaches?
314
00:14:17,719 --> 00:14:19,987
We got a deal.
315
00:14:20,021 --> 00:14:21,322
Let's find this bastard
and let him know
316
00:14:21,356 --> 00:14:24,358
that the burn unit
is in the building!
317
00:14:24,392 --> 00:14:25,993
That's right!
318
00:14:48,283 --> 00:14:50,684
Suspect's eating a three
piece and a biscuit.
319
00:14:50,719 --> 00:14:52,219
Stay on his ass!
320
00:14:52,253 --> 00:14:53,821
Ugh! I'm losing my mind!
321
00:14:53,855 --> 00:14:55,522
Oh, no, darling.
We're in charge.
322
00:14:55,557 --> 00:14:56,590
Listen, what you need?
323
00:14:56,625 --> 00:14:58,759
Pills? Weed?
A little coke?
324
00:14:58,793 --> 00:14:59,960
Give me a pill.
Okay.
325
00:15:12,007 --> 00:15:13,907
Son of a bitch is buying condoms.
326
00:15:13,942 --> 00:15:16,043
Ten for a dollar
at the 98 cent store.
327
00:15:16,111 --> 00:15:17,378
Motherfucker!
328
00:15:17,412 --> 00:15:19,446
Who is he foolin'?
He ain't gonna use 'em.
329
00:15:19,481 --> 00:15:20,648
No shit!
330
00:15:40,669 --> 00:15:41,835
All I know is
331
00:15:41,870 --> 00:15:43,270
I'm never gonna check
up on my man again
332
00:15:43,304 --> 00:15:45,172
by just sniffing on the dick.
333
00:15:53,348 --> 00:15:55,115
Hell no. Mmm-mmm.
334
00:16:01,690 --> 00:16:03,257
Go!
That piece of shit
335
00:16:03,291 --> 00:16:04,858
is fucking a white cracker bitch!
336
00:16:04,893 --> 00:16:07,861
Oh, hell no!
337
00:16:07,896 --> 00:16:10,431
And the bitch got fake titties.
I can see 'em from here.
338
00:16:10,465 --> 00:16:12,066
Hand me my damn lighter!
339
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:15,402
Get your asses down here right now.
It's goin' down!
340
00:16:15,437 --> 00:16:16,804
Come on.
341
00:16:25,447 --> 00:16:26,613
Girl!
342
00:16:28,416 --> 00:16:29,983
Shit!
343
00:16:30,018 --> 00:16:31,985
Looks like he's ridin' a
fat, white rollercoaster.
344
00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:34,555
Oh, it's making me ill.
345
00:16:36,291 --> 00:16:37,658
Let's hit it!
346
00:16:43,031 --> 00:16:44,865
Yeah, baby, hit that shit!
347
00:16:44,899 --> 00:16:46,300
Hey!
348
00:16:46,334 --> 00:16:47,935
Get the fuck up off my man.
349
00:16:47,969 --> 00:16:49,336
Shit, get off me!
350
00:16:49,370 --> 00:16:51,805
Bitch, get your motherfucking
ass out of here
351
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,640
before I fuck you the fuck up!
352
00:16:53,675 --> 00:16:55,843
Pink pussy bitch!
353
00:16:55,877 --> 00:16:58,078
Black womens
got pink pussies, too.
354
00:16:58,113 --> 00:16:59,613
Better believe it.
355
00:16:59,647 --> 00:17:01,248
Who was that?
I don't know that bitch!
356
00:17:01,282 --> 00:17:03,150
Well, your dick seemed to
know her ass pretty good.
357
00:17:03,184 --> 00:17:05,686
When you fucks with her,
you fuck with all of us.
358
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:06,787
That's right.
359
00:17:06,821 --> 00:17:07,921
Peaches, I'm gonna beat your ass.
360
00:17:07,956 --> 00:17:09,556
I don't think so.
361
00:17:11,226 --> 00:17:12,493
Peaches!
362
00:17:12,527 --> 00:17:15,295
Bitch, do your thang, baby girl.
363
00:17:15,330 --> 00:17:16,997
You know what, Samad?
364
00:17:17,031 --> 00:17:18,465
Fuck you!
365
00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:21,235
Fuck this raggedy ass car.
Now, Peaches.
366
00:17:21,269 --> 00:17:24,138
Back the fuck up!
367
00:17:31,446 --> 00:17:32,546
Stop it!
368
00:17:34,048 --> 00:17:35,182
Go on.
369
00:17:39,854 --> 00:17:41,021
Wait.
370
00:17:41,956 --> 00:17:43,090
I still love you, baby!
371
00:17:48,997 --> 00:17:51,999
No, no, no. Fuck!
372
00:17:52,033 --> 00:17:53,734
Bitches!
373
00:17:58,673 --> 00:18:00,440
Burn, baby, burn!
374
00:18:07,916 --> 00:18:09,650
Take that, bitch.
375
00:18:09,684 --> 00:18:13,887
Come on, ladies.
We have another client today. Hell ya!
376
00:18:13,922 --> 00:18:15,055
Bitches!
377
00:18:17,158 --> 00:18:18,926
Fuck am I gonna do?
378
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,093
God damn it!
379
00:18:34,676 --> 00:18:36,743
And now presenting
380
00:18:37,979 --> 00:18:39,146
the world premiere
381
00:18:39,180 --> 00:18:42,115
of a motion picture produced
382
00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:44,651
especially for Funny or Die,
383
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,021
the movie of the week.
384
00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:50,824
Tonight's movie,
385
00:18:50,859 --> 00:18:52,893
Sticky Minds.
386
00:19:08,109 --> 00:19:09,142
Here you go.
387
00:19:09,177 --> 00:19:10,377
You're welcome.
388
00:19:15,550 --> 00:19:17,050
Need anything else?
389
00:19:17,085 --> 00:19:19,219
Okay, great. Come see us again!
390
00:19:19,254 --> 00:19:20,888
Hey, guys, you can sit
wherever you want.
391
00:19:20,922 --> 00:19:22,022
Okay.
392
00:19:27,428 --> 00:19:29,529
Okay. There ya go.
Thank you.
393
00:19:31,466 --> 00:19:33,734
What to eat...
394
00:19:33,768 --> 00:19:36,370
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
395
00:19:36,404 --> 00:19:37,571
Tell you what I'd like to order,
396
00:19:39,173 --> 00:19:40,841
piece of that lovely
waitress over there.
397
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:43,877
Aw, she's a real doll.
398
00:19:43,912 --> 00:19:46,280
I'm talkin' mother fribblin'
wife material right there.
399
00:19:46,314 --> 00:19:48,548
Yes! Can you imagine?
400
00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:50,450
Oh, I'd kiss the curl
right out of her.
401
00:19:50,485 --> 00:19:51,685
Oh, here she comes!
402
00:19:53,955 --> 00:19:55,589
Hi, guys, you know what you want?
403
00:19:57,392 --> 00:19:59,860
Uh...
404
00:20:02,497 --> 00:20:03,630
Samuel, you go first.
405
00:20:03,665 --> 00:20:05,866
Nope. I defer
you please.
406
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,035
Darn it. Okay, fine.
407
00:20:14,008 --> 00:20:16,944
Can you just go first?
408
00:20:21,416 --> 00:20:22,549
Okay...
409
00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:31,158
Phew...
410
00:20:31,192 --> 00:20:32,359
What do you recommend?
411
00:20:33,594 --> 00:20:34,828
Pancakes?
412
00:20:34,862 --> 00:20:36,630
I love them.
413
00:20:36,664 --> 00:20:39,333
I love pancakes, too.
414
00:20:39,367 --> 00:20:41,668
Not as much as I do.
Know what?
415
00:20:41,703 --> 00:20:43,837
I'd like an order, por favor.
Okay.
416
00:20:43,871 --> 00:20:45,872
I'll also have an order,
417
00:20:45,907 --> 00:20:46,907
please.
418
00:20:46,941 --> 00:20:49,776
And I would like
to buy you an order,
419
00:20:49,811 --> 00:20:51,144
madame.
420
00:20:51,179 --> 00:20:54,815
Actually, I'd like
to buy you an order.
421
00:20:54,849 --> 00:20:56,450
On the house.
422
00:20:56,484 --> 00:20:58,719
Um, I'm fine, thank you.
423
00:20:58,753 --> 00:21:02,289
And on the house would mean
we would be paying for it.
424
00:21:02,323 --> 00:21:04,424
You don't have to pay.
We can pay.
425
00:21:04,459 --> 00:21:06,393
We have money.
We have
426
00:21:06,427 --> 00:21:07,561
really good jobs.
427
00:21:10,064 --> 00:21:11,965
All right.
I will be back
428
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,567
with your order.
Okay.
429
00:21:13,601 --> 00:21:14,735
Okay.
430
00:21:24,545 --> 00:21:25,846
Delicious.
431
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,881
Scrumptious.
432
00:21:37,525 --> 00:21:39,893
Hey, how'd you like the pancakes?
433
00:21:39,927 --> 00:21:41,561
Oh, so good.
434
00:21:41,596 --> 00:21:43,663
So, so,
435
00:21:43,698 --> 00:21:44,731
so,
436
00:21:44,766 --> 00:21:45,866
so,
437
00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:47,901
so good.
438
00:21:47,935 --> 00:21:50,771
These are some of the best cakes
439
00:21:51,539 --> 00:21:52,639
I've ever had.
440
00:21:52,673 --> 00:21:55,375
Hmm. They're pretty good.
Yeah.
441
00:21:55,410 --> 00:21:57,077
These
442
00:21:57,111 --> 00:22:00,013
were the best pancakes
443
00:22:00,048 --> 00:22:01,648
I've ever had
444
00:22:01,682 --> 00:22:02,949
in my whole
ding-dong life.
445
00:22:04,852 --> 00:22:05,952
Know what?
446
00:22:07,522 --> 00:22:09,289
Another order!
What?
447
00:22:09,323 --> 00:22:11,324
You son of a...
Make that two orders.
448
00:22:12,393 --> 00:22:14,161
You serious?
Yeah!
449
00:22:14,195 --> 00:22:15,896
More pancakes!
450
00:22:15,930 --> 00:22:17,631
Um, and
451
00:22:19,534 --> 00:22:22,002
you are very pretty.
452
00:22:22,036 --> 00:22:24,805
And I like your apron.
453
00:22:30,111 --> 00:22:31,211
Okay.
454
00:23:14,589 --> 00:23:15,755
Okay, can I get
you guys anything...
455
00:23:17,091 --> 00:23:18,258
Is he okay?
He's fine.
456
00:23:20,561 --> 00:23:21,862
Can I ask you a really
quick question?
457
00:23:23,631 --> 00:23:24,764
Sure.
458
00:23:27,235 --> 00:23:28,368
Will you marry me?
459
00:23:30,605 --> 00:23:33,006
No!
460
00:23:41,282 --> 00:23:43,817
Now, why in the heck did
you go and do that?
461
00:23:43,851 --> 00:23:45,619
I was gonna ask her for
her hand in marriage,
462
00:23:45,653 --> 00:23:47,821
but you snuck in while I
was taking a pancake nap.
463
00:23:47,855 --> 00:23:48,989
That is no fair.
464
00:23:49,023 --> 00:23:51,158
That's not my fault.
465
00:23:51,192 --> 00:23:52,592
You snooze, you...
466
00:23:53,895 --> 00:23:54,895
Ow!
467
00:23:54,929 --> 00:23:56,029
Just...
No, no, no...
468
00:23:56,063 --> 00:23:57,164
You just...
No!
469
00:23:57,198 --> 00:23:58,231
Well, just...
No, no, no!
470
00:23:58,266 --> 00:23:59,766
Do you wanna...
471
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,501
Probably better if you just...
No, no, no!
472
00:24:01,536 --> 00:24:03,270
I'm a doc...
No, no, no!
473
00:24:03,304 --> 00:24:05,739
Hmm. I'm sorry.
474
00:24:05,773 --> 00:24:07,541
I shouldn't have
475
00:24:07,575 --> 00:24:09,843
stabbed you with my butter knife.
You know what?
476
00:24:09,877 --> 00:24:11,111
You know what?
477
00:24:11,145 --> 00:24:12,445
Pancakes are on me.
478
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,581
Totally unnecessary.
479
00:24:14,615 --> 00:24:16,283
I insist.
480
00:24:16,317 --> 00:24:18,218
Check, please.
481
00:24:18,252 --> 00:24:19,386
Take these.
482
00:24:20,521 --> 00:24:21,721
Quarters.
No.
483
00:24:27,295 --> 00:24:28,428
Thanks for dinner.
Hey,
484
00:24:29,430 --> 00:24:30,797
you're my best friend
485
00:24:30,831 --> 00:24:32,732
and it's your birthday.
486
00:24:32,767 --> 00:24:33,900
It's the least I could do.
487
00:24:35,136 --> 00:24:36,870
Thank you
488
00:24:36,904 --> 00:24:38,071
for everything.
489
00:24:42,677 --> 00:24:44,110
Expensive.
Jeez.
490
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:47,480
Gus,
491
00:24:47,515 --> 00:24:48,615
call the cops!
492
00:24:50,318 --> 00:24:51,451
One more bite.
493
00:25:25,886 --> 00:25:27,621
There's really
not much I can say.
494
00:25:34,328 --> 00:25:35,462
Thank you?
495
00:25:38,432 --> 00:25:39,532
You got anything?
496
00:25:45,806 --> 00:25:47,707
We'll see you next week.
497
00:25:47,907 --> 00:25:58,107
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
33494
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