All language subtitles for The.Alfred.Hitchcock.Hour.1962.S01E08.House.Guest.DVD

Good evening and welcome to the Alfred
Hitchcock Hour.

With trailer camps springing up at every
corner and all America taking to the

road, I thought you might be interested
in this, the latest in trailers. This

model is a superb gasoline saver for it
comes complete with this lovely violin,

a set of earrings and two stolen horses.

I see it is time for you to face the
music.

Here it is, after which we shall view
tonight's story.

Daddy come today?

He was going to teach me how to swim
underwater.

Daddy couldn't, darling. He had to talk
to some parents.

It's vacation time, isn't it?

I know.

Daddy always has to think of next term.
These parents might send their son to

another school.

I wish he could see my castle.

It's a beautiful castle.

And it's a beautiful day.

We have the whole beach to ourselves.

Well, he has some nerve.

I thought I had the whole Pacific Ocean
reserved today.

Mom, can I go in the water once more?

Oh, all right, Tony. But be sure to stay
in the shallow part.

Okay. Talk to me, my ball.

He's all right.

He's all right.

He's all right.

I don't know how to thank you. Please
don't even try.

Oh, Tommy, I don't know whether I should
hug you or spank you.

Right now, I think you better dry him.

I'll be right back.

Oh, Tommy, are you cold,

dear?

How you doing?

What were you trying to do, swim to
Hawaii?

I told him to stay near the shore.

Oh, I'm very grateful.

I can't swim.

If you hadn't been there... Well, I'm
only glad I could help.

I'm Sally Mitchell.

This awful boy is Tony, though I don't
know if you've even talked to him. Hi,

Tony. Hi.

Say, you're cold, aren't you? Yes, I am,
rather.

Well, it's a natural reaction.

I... I recommend an old Air Force
remedy.

Slip out of that wet suit into a dry
martini.

I think I just assumed soaking a long
hot bath.

Are we going home?

Yes. Well, let me help you with your
thing.

Oh, thanks.

Here you are,

Colonel.

There you go.

Here, Tony.

Would you have my shoes, dear, please?

Let me take those things. Oh, thank you.

Thanks.

Didn't you bring your car?

I'm afraid I couldn't.

I haven't got one.

Oh, do you have far to go? I'm staying
at the Edgewater.

Please, let me drive you.

No, no, no, no. You need that hot bath.

Besides, I can still get a couple of
hours more sun.

Are you sure?

Positive.

Hey, Tony, stay out of deep water now,
hear?

Okay.

matter with me.

I can't just drive out of your life
after what you've done.

Except thanks.

That's all that's necessary.

No, it isn't. My husband will want to
meet you and talk with you.

Perhaps you could have dinner with us
tomorrow night.

All right, thanks. I'd love to. We'll
pick you up at the Edgewater at seven.

Fine. Oh, wait a minute. I don't even
know your name.

Roscoe. Ray Roscoe.

the trouble is I began to take that off
we go into the wild blue yonder stuff

too seriously.

It's basically the off we go part.

Made me restless.

Thank you.

Anyway, I couldn't see staying in the
Air Force until I was too old to do

anything else.

So you quit after 12 years of service.

Takes a lot of courage to make a
decision like that.

I can't say that I've ever regretted one
minute of it.

But then I've only been out three weeks.

Well, what are you going to do now?

No, thanks.

I'm looking for a little place of my
own.

Somewhere where I can sit on the front
porch and... prop my feet up and watch

the oranges drop out of the trees.

John, aren't the Richardson's in the
orange business?

Yes, they own one of the largest groves
in the county.

They ought to know if there's any land
for sale.

Well, it'll have to be a pretty small
piece from what I've seen around here.

Even on flying pay, you can't save very
much money in the Air Force.

Oh, the liquor and the cigarettes are
cheap enough, but the poker is terribly

expensive.

I'll call Phyllis Richardson first thing
in the morning.

See if she has any ideas.

Oh, Kira, this is Mr.

Roscoe.

Hello, Kira.

How you do, sir?

Kira's from Norway. She just came over
last year.

Do you know I'll be ready in five
minutes, Mrs. Mitchell? Thank you, Kira.

You know, I've been thinking.

If you do find a place you like, how are
you going to finance it?

I'll have to get a loan if I can.

Look, you did something pretty
important.

me. If you need a loan, I'd be glad to
help.

I couldn't do that.

Why not?

Well, for one thing, I'm sure it isn't
any easier saving money teaching than it

is flying.

Sally and I own this school. We built it
up ourselves.

It was a struggle at first, so I know
what it's like getting a start.

But it's quite a thriving place now.

I think we can manage $5,000.

$5,000?

Wow. Well, that's most generous of you.

But no thanks. I prefer to do it on my
own. Well, how are you going to look for

an orange grove without a car?

Well, I got four fingers and a thumb.

I've also got some pretty big ideas,
too, haven't I?

Here I am, one step away from being a
beachcomber, and I'm talking about

blithely sailing around the country
looking for a beautiful orange grove.

Oh, I can hitchhike all right.

I should be hitchhiking down to the
employment office looking for a job.

You know, the world gets to look very
small looking down from a plane.

Like you could handle it easily.

But it gets pretty big when they clip
your wings.

Pilots to tower. Pilots to tower. Clear
for landing.

Tower to pilot. Tower to pilot.

Clear for landing.

Roger.

Come on.

Crash. Let me try it, Uncle Ray. Let me.

Boy, you really made her fly.

Girls don't care much about flying
airplanes, do they, Kara?

Tell you what, why don't we play hide
and seek?

Let me be it, Uncle Ray.

Okay.

be grateful.

And he keeps Tony amused.

Tony is just crazy about him.

What about you?

Me?

Oh, he's very charming.

Just that he's been here three weeks
already.

It's our idea, Sally. We invited him.

Has he mentioned anything to you about
Orange Groves lately?

Not since he looked at the place that
the Richardson suggested. He said it was

too big for him.

Don't you have the feeling it's looking
very hard?

Sally, you know how I feel about Ray. He
did something for me I can't ever

forget.

Sometimes I wake up in a sweat thinking
what could have happened.

I'm grateful too, John.

God,

you're great.

Now you're it. You're it.

Okay.

Everybody hide.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

Seven, eight, nine, ten. Here I come,
ready or not.

Gotcha.

Kira, you don't understand American
games.

You lose, I win.

And the winner always collects.

Do you want me to talk to him?

No, I guess it's better coming from me.

Hi.

Something wrong?

I want to talk to you.

Would you like a beer?

No, thanks.

It's about Kira.

It seems you've been making a pass at
her.

Kira been complaining?

No.

It's Sally.

Oh, come on, John.

Don't tell me your wife's been spying on
me. I didn't know she cared.

Tony saw you in the summer house.

And what did Tony say that he saw?

Mind if I ask him? I want Tony kept out
of this.

Okay.

Kira's very young.

We're responsible for her.

If anything happens... Oh, John, you're
just having a little harmless fun.

You know how it is.

Or maybe you don't.

You've got your honor to think of and
the position of the school.

So long as you're here, I want that girl
left alone.

Okay.

Kira isn't the only well-shaped pebble
on the beach.

Class dismissed?

Yeah. Good.

I think I'll take the car out and check
on an orange grove.

Well, I'm glad of that, anyway.

What is it?

It's Ray.

He's had an accident.

Well, the policy's right here at my
desk.

All right, I'll bring it out then.

What happened?

Nothing very serious, but the other
driver's kicking up a row. He wants to

see our insurance policy.

I guess he doesn't take Ray's word for
it.

What'd you expect me to do?

Run off the road just so that you could
pass me. I could have sworn you had more

room on the right. You hadn't been in
such a hurry.

Here he is now.

John.

John, I'm sorry about this.

Are you the owner of this car? Yes, my
name is John Mitchell. This is my wife,

Sally.

Mr. Roscoe is our houseguest. Yeah, so
he told me. I should think you'd be more

careful who you lent your car to.

He came racing up behind us.

This is Mr. and Mrs. Sherston from
Washington, D.C. And you can tell by the

tire marks I was well to the right. It
was just an accident, George.

Nothing to get heated about.

Why don't we go inside and have a drink
and talk this over calmly?

I think that's a fine idea myself.

So do I.

Well, I guess you're right.

Damage is done. No good getting into an
uproar.

Did you, uh... Drive all the way from
Washington?

Yes, and we've had a wonderful trip.

George has been saving up his sleep for
three years.

So we have four whole months vacation
this summer.

Oh, this is wonderful.

You're our first guest.

You have a bedroom, living room.
Something is like a real home.

You work for the government, Mr.
Churston? Internal revenue.

Ouch. Well, I have nothing to do with
collecting taxes. I'm a statistician.

You just figure out how much you need
and let the other boys collect it, eh?

One thing about working for Uncle Sam,
just a few more years and George gets a

pension.

Well, sit down, make yourselves
comfortable.

Thank you. I'll go fix the drink.

Let me help you.

Do you plan to stay in California?

If we can find a nice quiet spot around
here.

Even I don't like trailer camps much.

We prefer to be off on our own.

I don't blame him.

We've heard of a place in the woods few
miles north of here that sounds ideal

for a week or two By the way before I
forget here's the name of my insurance

agent. Oh, thank you Here we are Well,

what should we drink to no more
accidents to the nicest people I ever

bumped into

Sorry, John. I had a terrible time
getting Tony off of day camp this

morning. He doesn't want to do anything
anymore without his Uncle Ray.

Where's Kara?

In her room, brooding.

She knows you talked to Ray about her,
or them.

He probably told her.

He practically accused me last night.

Oh, it's so ridiculous.

Of being jealous of her.

I'll get it.

Hello?

No, he is not here.

Oh. Hello, George.

What?

What happened?

That's terrible. He hasn't any idea how
to behave.

All right, George.

Is that George Sherston? Yes.

About the insurance?

You're dramatic. How did he talk?

Ray's been pestering his wife.

Oh, no.

He drove out to the trailer the other
night while George was away and made a

pass at Eve.

Well, I'm not... Surprised I saw the way
he looked at her in the trailer. What's

the matter with him? First he manhandles
Kira, now Eve.

The next one may be you.

I think it's time Ray found another
place to live.

Don't worry.

I'm still grateful, but... There's
something very wrong about this guy.

I'm uneasy every minute he's around.

Yes, so am I.

John, please, you will ask him to leave.

As soon as he comes in.

Hope you get better news than I did.

I want to talk to you.

Coincidences never cease.

There's something I want to ask you,
too.

What I've got to say isn't very
pleasant.

I'd like you to leave as soon as you
can.

Tonight, if possible.

Have you been talking to our friendly
tax man, George Sherston, by chance?

He isn't feeling very friendly toward
you.

He shouldn't leave a pretty young wife
like that alone.

She's bound to get restless.

He says you forced yourself on her. And
you believed him.

But of course you did. Because that
gives you a reason to get rid of me,

doesn't it?

Let's call it the last straw.

You're tired of me.

I'm still grateful to you for what you
did.

How grateful?

John.

How much is it worth to you to get rid
of me?

Well, if you need a couple of hundred
dollars... A couple of hundred?

You once offered me $5,000. I offered
you a loan to help you finance an orange

grove, if you found one.

Oh, I see.

Does that offer still stand?

On the same condition.

You're a nice guy, John.

You really are.

I knew you were a nice guy the first
moment I ever saw you.

But $5,000 isn't going to get it.

I need $20,000. I've got to have it.
$20,000? I'm in trouble.

My past is catching up with me.

This had a letter from an old friend of
mine, a retired sea captain.

I once saved his life, too.

I told you, saving lives is a hobby of
mine.

Anyway, he was properly grateful and
invested in a small business that I was

supposed to start.

Now he wants his money back.

And? And I haven't got it, but you have.

This school of yours is a going concern.
What about the money you saved?

Oh, oh, uh...

My Air Force pay?

Well, I'm saving that for my orange
grove. Got to think of my future, you

know. You practically admit you swindled
this man out of his money and now you

expect me to lend you some?

You're absolutely right.

Lending money always does create a bad
feeling.

You'd better make it an outright gift.

Why?

Why should I?

Well, let's put it this way.

Now, if you'd known in advance that you
could save your child from drowning by

paying $20,000, you'd have paid it,
wouldn't you?

Well, of course you would.

So I just extended you credit.

I saved the child first and gave you a
chance to pay later.

I think the price was very reasonable,
don't you?

It's payday, John.

You are going on a long journey to your
local stations.

but please do not disembark or you'll
miss the last half of our story.

I don't mind the local stations
identifying themselves, but they seem

bent on identifying a large number of
other people as well. But take heart. We

have only one more interruption before
we return to our play.

Did you suspect him? We're right.

Where's Tony?

He put him to bed as soon as he came
home.

Ray hasn't seen him all day. Good.

Oh, hello, John.

Did you bring the money?

There isn't going to be any money.

Suit yourself.

I can sit out here all summer if I have
to.

You're leaving tonight, Ray.

Oh, no, John, no, John, no, John, no.

I drove down to Carmel this afternoon
and saw an old friend, General Beckett.

He made some inquiries for me. There
never was any Ray Roscoe in the Air

Force.

You mean I don't exist?

Well, then I guess I'll have to throw
your kid back in the ocean.

Get out.

You're not reading me very good, John.

I like it here. Nice climate.

Lots of pretty women.

Kira.

Eve.

Your wife's not bad either.

Oh, please, John, don't be physical.

You're not the type.

If you don't leave right now, I'm going
to call the police.

And what are you going to tell the
police, John?

That I saved your child from drowning?

That you were properly grateful and
invited me to stay in your home?

And then you threw me out? Oh, come on.

You know, Sally...

Kira thinks you're jealous of her.

I could give a nice little story to the
newspapers.

A scandal at South Mead School.

Headmaster's wife and foreign girl in
triangle with hero who saved child's

life. Mitchell boy says, I still believe
in Uncle Ray.

Tony would do that for me, too. That
kid's crazy about me. Well, he won't be

so crazy about you when he finds out you
lied to him about being in the Air

Force. The papers will never believe
that story.

They might not believe it, but they'll
print it.

And a lot of high-principled parents
will be reading it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll
take a little walk outside. I know you

two have a lot to discuss.

Oh, John, that's 20,000.

That's a two and four zeros.

I just can't believe it.

It's monstrous.

Two ordinary people haven't done
anything to be ashamed of.

We must be able to get rid of a man like
that.

We can.

We'll go to the police.

He tried to kill me.

Ray.

Ray.

He's all right. He's just knocked out.
I'll get some water. No.

Leave him. He'll come around soon
enough.

He'd be a lot less trouble if he didn't.

What happened? How'd it start?

He came to the trailer again today.

I wasn't there. He tried to attack Eve.
Oh, no.

She fought him off, scratched his face,
and when she told me, I grabbed a gun

and came over.

I'll call the police.

No!

I came after him with a gun. I fired at
him.

That's a belt with a deadly weapon.

George, you said he was strangling you.
I'll back up your story. You don't

understand. This will be in the papers.

The civil service commissioner will read
it. Even if I don't go to jail, I'll

lose my job for sure.

They won't stand for anything messing
your personal life. But you were trying

to protect your wife.

It'll be Ray's story against the three
of us. They don't fire a man for

protecting his home and family.

Look, that sounds very noble.

But it won't read like that.

I know what's happened to other men in
the department who've gotten mixed up in

less than this.

The slightest cloud of suspicion and
I'll be finished.

He's still unconscious.

Better call a doctor.

I'll take him to the hospital. Where's
the nearest?

Centerville. Will you help me with him
to the car?

I can't sleep.

Neither can I.

Poor George.

I hope he managed all right at the
hospital.

You were so scared.

Not a job.

I know.

Hello?

Yes, George.

Before George got Ray to the hospital,
he noticed that he'd stopped breathing.

What?

Ray's dead.

I'm so glad you came. He won't listen to
me. Where is he?

Over there.

George!

You can't do this.

I know what I'm doing.

We've got to go to the police.

We have to tell them the truth.

They'll never believe us. Never.

You listen to me.

I've had more chance to think about this
than you.

This is the only thing to do.

But it was an accident.

Can you convince the police of that?

You know the questions they'll ask?

Why did you kill Ray Roscoe, Mr.
Mitchell?

He was strangling you.

Self-defense when it was two against one
and he was unarmed?

I didn't mean to kill him.

Did you call a doctor?

You thought he was badly injured.

We tried to get him to the hospital. Can
you prove that?

My wife. Did you like Ray Roscoe, Mr.
Mitchell?

No. Then why did you keep him in your
house?

Was he blackmailing you? You wanted to
get rid of him, didn't you? You wanted

him dead.

And you killed him.

That's enough.

Look, that's only a sample.

Think of the questions they're going to
ask me about Eve.

Why I brought a gun to your place.

Can't you see it's the only thing to do?

Or we'll both be facing a murder charge.

But the last query is, what happened to
him?

No one will know.

Even I'll be away from here in an hour.

We'll keep in touch with you in case
there should be any trouble.

John, I'm sorry about this.

It isn't your fault.

He brought it on himself.

Even though he is dead, I still hate his
guts.

I'll help. No.

You better go home and you tell Sally
what we've decided.

I'll finish here.

All right.

Can we go to the beach this morning,
Mom?

Well, if I don't have time, Kira can
take you.

I wish Uncle Ray was still here.

He's much better at volleyball than
Kira.

I told you, Tony.

He had to go away.

You know, we only invited him for a few
days anyway.

Your mail, Mr. Mitchell.

Thank you, Kira.

Tony, run along and finish your
breakfast with care, would you please?

Why? I always have it in here.

Do as I say.

I'll do you some eggs, especially when
you like them.

There's a letter for Ray.

Get rid of it. Tear it up.

He's out of our lives. He never existed.

Sally, he isn't out of our lives.

Whoever sent this letter...

knows he was staying here.

It was sent care of us.

Dear Mr. Roscoe, I've had no word from
you about the $20,000 you owe me. It

seems I'm unable to force you to return
this, but let me tell you, I shall spare

no expense to expose you and have you
arrested for fraud.

Unless the money is in my hands within
24 hours.

I'm putting the whole matter in the
hands of the police captain Charles

Faulkner

I'm

looking for a man named Faulkner His
landlord said I might be able to find

him here.

That's him.

Thanks.

Mr. Faulkner.

Captain Faulkner. Captain.

My name is Mitchell.

I'm from the Southmead School in Dana.

Oh, yeah.

Friend of Roscoe's.

He was just staying with us for a while.

What? Staying with you? Where is he now?

Well, he left our place very suddenly.
He didn't tell me where he was going.

I don't believe you.

Your letter just came this morning,
right after Ray left.

Oh, you're in the habit of opening other
people's mail, are you?

There was no forwarding address to me
outside. I thought it might be

important. You bet it's important.

I'm setting the dogs on that lad,
mister.

Took me three months to run him down at
your place, and I'll find him again.

Maybe I could help. I'll go to the
police this time.

They'll splatter the name of Ray Roscoe
all over the country.

Couldn't we keep it down a little? Why,
let the whole world know.

Roscoe swindled me out of nearly every
penny I had.

But he might have some friends. They
could warn him.

Folks like that don't have any friends.

Look, how much did he take you for?

Twenty thousand.

That's an awful lot of money. You're
telling me it's a lot.

My whole nest egg, practically.

He was going to buy a fishing boat
company with it. I was the first fish he

caught. Well, I'm wiggling off the hook,
matey, and getting my money back.

I'd like to give you that money myself.

Why? It ain't your debt.

Roscoe did something for me.

He saved my boy from drowning.

I guess there's some good in everyone.

Well, there's no good in this lad,
Matty. Don't let him get off the hook.

I'd like to settle our account.

I don't like being under obligation to a
man like that.

I don't like it.

$20,000.

That should make us both even with him.

That don't make sense.

The check's good, I assure you. You
could call the bank.

Yeah, but this is Saturday. I can't go
to the bank till Monday morning.

That gives Roscoe two more days to get
lost if you're in cahoots. I can't lay

my hands on $20,000 cash right this
minute.

Well, you got something in mind.

I take the check and you run to the
cops.

Accuse me of bilking you or something.

No, I think I better go to the cops
myself. Get them to flush out Ray

Roscoe. Be reasonable. I'm a reputable
owner of a boys' school. Why should I be

mixed up with a man like Roscoe?

I just like him as much as you do, maybe
even more.

Yeah, well, that's why it don't make
sense for you to be laying out $20,000

for him. Captain Falker, will you see?
Easy, guys.

Why don't you take it out in the alley?

I'm sorry.

I'm a little on edge.

Problems with the school.

Now, this... I'm sorry.

I guess I know how you feel.

I'll take the check.

Everything's going to be all right. Will
be as soon as I get to the bank Monday

morning.

It's not possible not there.

What is it, John?

They're making a survey for a new
freeway right through that old quarry.

You mean where George Shurston buried...
They'll find it.

When they start digging, they'll find
it. Wouldn't it be almost a relief if

they did? Relief? The police will move
in. Is that any worse than what we've

been going through for three weeks?

I've got to find Shurston. Get him to
move that body.

John, wait a minute, please.

Let's be reasonable.

We keep getting in deeper and deeper.

You ought to be all over when you paid
off Mr. Faulkner. Now, there's this.

There'll always be something to keep us
not in. And if it doesn't happen, we'll

be expecting it to happen.

Ocean View Park. That's where the
Sherstons are now. I'll drive up there

right away. No, John.

John, go to the police yourself.

We've gone too far for that. What could
I tell them now? The truth.

And what if George panics and puts all
the blame on me? Remember, I was the one

who killed Roscoe. In self-defense,
John. Oh, darling, you're an intelligent

man. How many times have you said the
full truth can never hurt? You tell that

to your students.

It's different when it happens to you at
home.

I'm going to Sherston.

John.

John! Nothing's gone wrong, has it?

They've decided to put a road through
your old campsite. They're making a

survey and digging up the whole area,
right where Roscoe's body's buried. Oh,

no. Wait, wait.

Nothing to worry about yet.

If they're just making a survey now,
it'll take weeks before they start

digging. We have to remove that body
right away, tonight.

John!

It's Saturday.

People are all over that place weekends.

I tell you what, we'll go back Monday
night. No, I can't wait. I wouldn't have

a moment's peace. Take it easy, John.

George is right.

Monday would be safer.

I'm sorry, Eve.

You don't have to come with me.

I can fight it myself.

John, John, wait, wait.

I didn't realize that you were this
upset.

I'll tell you what you do. You go on
home and forget all about it. I'll take

care of Roscoe. No, we're in this
together.

I got the trailer.

I'm going to have to take him and bury
him somewhere else. That's a risk. Why

should you take it too?

I let you go through this alone once
before.

This time I share the responsibility.

I said I'd do it.

What I meant was that there's no need
for you to stick your neck out.

I want to.

All right.

We'd better meet there, then.

Let's say nine o'clock.

Nine o'clock.

Oh, John, I've been so worried.

What did they say?

Churston practically broke down.

He begged me not to go to the police.

Don't let him influence you, dear. He's
just worrying about his government job,

that's all.

I think it was something else.

I had a feeling he wasn't being straight
with me.

He was so insistent on going there
alone.

There's something he's hiding from us.

John, please listen to me. Go to the
police right now. I'll go with you. No,

not yet. I'm going to meet Churston at
the quarry in just an hour. I want to be

sure. Well, let me go with you. We will
both... No, stay there.

John, please.

Is John here?

No, he hasn't arrived yet.

Hello, Sally.

I thought I'd get started. No sense of
standing around.

What time are you supposed to meet John?

Nine o'clock.

Yeah, we made better time on the highway
than we expected.

Have you already... Yes.

It's still only quarter to nine.

If I hadn't come, you would have
finished and left before John had a

chance to arrive.

Why not?

It wasn't a very pleasant job.

You ought to be glad.

You wanted to do it alone.

John said you wanted to do it alone.

Well, they wanted to do him a favor.

Favor?

Like the night you buried Ray?

Didn't wait for John that night either.

Why not? What were you afraid of?

You didn't want John to see the body
because you killed Ray, didn't you?

I've had enough of this.

We're clearing out of here right now.
No, you're going to wait for John.

Eve, go start the car.

You, get out of here.

Well, if I do, I'm going to go straight
to the police.

It's true, isn't it?

You shot him.

See a goat?

Now, then you see you made all this fuss
about nothing. I wasn't even dead.

You were all in this together.

It was just a horrible trick to
blackmail us.

Well, I'd rather like to think of it as
a good melodrama.

Macabre.

Grizzly.

Very effective.

Hey, let's get going.

Patience, George, patience.

After all, Mrs. Mitchell is one of the
stars of our little drama.

We wouldn't want to cheat her of the
clever Daniel Moore.

I can't believe you planned the whole
thing.

How did you manage to be right there
when my boy was drowning?

Ah, the one flaw in my...

Otherwise perfect script.

I simply called out to the boy and lured
him into the deeper water.

I suppose he hadn't gone.

Then I had three alternative openings
for our little playlet.

Fortunately, the first one worked smooth
as glass.

You didn't even save him. In fact, you
might have killed him. No, no, you don't

understand good dramaturgy. There would
never be a killing in one of my scripts.

Oh, come, come, Captain. No need to
whisper. If you have something to say,

speak up. Speak up.

If you ain't gonna wait for Mitchell,
let's get rolling.

Oh, Captain Faulkner, this is Mrs.
Mitchell.

The captain is a senior member of our
little repertory company.

Confidentially, he's a bit of a ham.

Captain Faulkner.

About your husband.

His sense of timing is atrocious.

Now, if only he'd given the check to the
captain, say, on Friday, we wouldn't

have had to hang around here this
weekend and play out the final scene for

you and John.

The final thing should go so long and no
longer. This one's already gone long

enough.

You'll never be able to cash that check
when John finds out about this.

Why?

Why should John stop the check?

He has no reason to associate the
captain with us.

And how could he possibly tie in the
check with your disappearance?

And if he has an ounce from the actor in
him, he'd be so grief-stricken he won't

even think of the money.

Captain, Eve, you better start driving
now.

Take the cliff road.

And now, Sally, we come to the final
scene of our little playlet.

I'm truly sorry it had to end this way.

But then, except for the final curtain,
it's exactly the way I wrote it.

George! George!

Now,

Kevin, you're all right. Yes, I'm all
right.

Oh, you did call the police. You did.

I decided to take your advice for once.

I wish you'd taken mine instead of away
from you.

You see, I couldn't really let you kill
me.

I told you, saving lives was my hobby.

Oh, you wouldn't be interested in buying
a slightly used trailer, would you?

I think the lesson of our story is quite
clear.

If a stranger offers to save your life,
think it over.

You may be letting yourself in for a
great deal of trouble.

This concludes my part of the program.

Next time I shall return with another
story, some scenes of which will be

shown after this next and last
commercial.