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1
00:00:01,131 --> 00:00:02,089
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:03,829 --> 00:00:07,572
♪ Take me out to the ball game
3
00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:10,053
♪ Take me out to the--
4
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,228
Oh, I'm telling you, Mark.
5
00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:12,882
-Hi.
-Hi, honey.
6
00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:14,405
You guys play the way
you did today at practice,
7
00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:16,451
and you are a lock
for the championships.
8
00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:17,626
Wildcats will prevail.
9
00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:18,714
-Yes!
-Yeah.
10
00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:20,150
Ooh, I just can't wait to go
11
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:22,631
to your championship
game, sweetie pie.
12
00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:26,504
Mom, there are no
sweetie pies in basketball.
13
00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:30,334
Well, that's what
makes you so special.
14
00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:32,249
Mwah.
15
00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,469
-Frank, she's killing me.
-Sit down. Uh, Carol--
16
00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:36,297
So I wanna get
to the game real early
17
00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:38,473
because I wanna get
a really great seat.
18
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,170
-Well, honey, Mark and I
have been talking...
-Mmm-hmm.
19
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:41,476
...and we thought maybe
it would be best
20
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,173
if, just for
the championship game,
21
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:45,741
if maybe you sat a little
farther away from the court.
22
00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:47,612
-Oh, like where?
-Like here.
23
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,268
But I always
go to Mark's games.
24
00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:53,270
Yeah, and you always
embarrass me.
25
00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:56,143
How do I embarrass you?
26
00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,101
By standing up
in the middle
of the game yelling,
27
00:00:58,188 --> 00:01:00,843
"Don't worry, honey, you'll
hit the basket next time.
28
00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:03,106
"You're still my little MVP."
29
00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:08,285
So you don't want me
to go to your game
30
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:10,983
after I carried you
for nine months
31
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,986
and gave birth
in the hospital parking lot
32
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,728
in the snow?
33
00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:19,166
Frank, she's got me
backed in the birth canal.
34
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,168
Do something.
35
00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:22,995
Uh, listen.
36
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,823
Carol,
you're a wonderful mother,
37
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,173
and we both love you,
38
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:28,958
but if you set
one foot in the gym,
39
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,612
I'll have security
take you out.
40
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,963
But I made a cake
for the whole team.
41
00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:35,660
It's in the shape
of a basketball.
42
00:01:35,747 --> 00:01:37,575
It says, "Good luck,
dribble bunnies."
43
00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:46,454
The kitty's here.
44
00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:49,152
The kitty's gone!
45
00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:52,677
The kitty's here!
46
00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:54,940
Kitty's gone.
47
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:57,682
God, I have no life.
48
00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:03,166
Ugh, what a night.
49
00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:05,429
I have never been so moved.
50
00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:08,128
So, Rich, you look spiffy.
How was the opera?
51
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,652
Oh, it was great. Fantabulous.
52
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:12,001
I am a true opera head.
53
00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:15,439
[MOUTHING]
54
00:02:15,526 --> 00:02:17,963
Well, if you thought
the opera was fun,
55
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,313
wait till next week,
56
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,054
because we are going
to the ballet.
57
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,795
Oh, we're going to the ballet.
58
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,623
Mmm-hmm.
59
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:28,060
10 bucks says
it's The Nutcracker.
60
00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:35,981
What is that supposed to mean?
61
00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:39,159
Nothing. Nothing.
I think you guys make
a beautiful couple.
62
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,683
A strong woman and a doormat.
63
00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:45,513
Hey. I'm not a doormat.
64
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,515
I got plenty of say
in this relationship.
65
00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:48,559
Don't I?
66
00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:52,998
-Of course you do.
-Of course I do.
67
00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,783
Oh, man. This is pathetic.
68
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,480
Since you started
going out with Barky,
69
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:57,916
it's like
you've been neutered.
70
00:02:58,003 --> 00:02:59,701
I can't remember the last time
71
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:02,704
we went out
on a Saturday night
and did guy stuff.
72
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:06,664
I could go out with you
Saturday night and do
guy stuff if I wanted to.
73
00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:08,710
Couldn't I, sweetie?
74
00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:11,147
Don't ask her.
Are you a man,
or aren't you?
75
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,890
Of course I'm a man!
76
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:16,108
[LAUGHS]
77
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,241
So what are you saying?
78
00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,591
So you'd rather
spend Saturday night
with Jughead than with me?
79
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:24,247
[GROWLS]
80
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,207
[BOTH GROWLING]
81
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,340
[GROWLS] Yes, yes!
82
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,777
As a matter of fact, I would.
83
00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:34,997
Saturday night,
me and my buddy
84
00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:36,607
are gonna go out
and do some guy stuff.
85
00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:37,695
-Yeah.
-Yes.
86
00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:39,219
-Man stuff!
-Yeah.
87
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:41,917
Another thing.
Woman, I'm hungry.
88
00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:43,571
Why don't you
go in that kitchen
and make me a sandwich?
89
00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:47,270
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
90
00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:52,536
Rich, I'll tell you what.
91
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:54,103
You wait here.
92
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:56,888
When you see a pig
come flying through the room,
93
00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:58,412
I'll be back
with your sandwich.
94
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:04,722
Guess I told her, huh?
95
00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:06,333
-Yeah.
-Yeah!
96
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:08,378
[BOTH GROWLING]
97
00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:09,597
[UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL
ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
98
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:27,092
This is what happened
to Delta Burke.
99
00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:40,671
Carol, I have
the super-fantastic news.
100
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,934
I was at the salon,
doing my...
101
00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:44,240
Uh-oh.
102
00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:46,895
Oh, baby.
103
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:48,636
I was at the salon
104
00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:50,855
doing my 21st
Jennifer Aniston
haircut of the day
105
00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:52,204
when it suddenly hit me.
106
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,858
I don't like
this woman's hair.
107
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:58,210
You know, there's a big
"C" shape over here,
108
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,125
and another one over here.
109
00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:02,780
It looks like two Pac-Men
are gonna meet in the middle
110
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,347
and eat Jennifer's face.
111
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:12,007
Suddenly it come to me.
112
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:15,489
I have the solution
for your little problem
with Mark.
113
00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:17,969
It's not a little problem.
114
00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:21,016
I have been banned
from my son's basketball game.
115
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,974
My son!
116
00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:27,501
My own flesh and blood
that I carried
for nine months
117
00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:30,547
and gave birth
in the hospital parking lot...
118
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,027
BOTH: In the snow.
119
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,769
What? Have I told you
about that before?
120
00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:37,380
Repeatedly.
Now listen to me, Miss Piggy.
121
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:39,382
You got to stop
feeling sorry for yourself.
122
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:40,731
-Guess what?
-What?
123
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:42,385
You are going to Mark's game,
124
00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:46,650
but you are not going
to Mark's game.
125
00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:48,478
What are you talking about?
126
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:50,350
Don't ask me any questions.
Just take your clothes off.
127
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:51,394
What?
128
00:05:58,053 --> 00:05:59,141
[COUGHS]
129
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:06,104
[VACUUM WHIRRING]
130
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,503
CAROL: Okay, I'm ready!
131
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,462
Uh, wait, wait. Uh, no.
132
00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,115
Don't, uh, come yet.
133
00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:19,814
I want to pretend
that I don't know
who you are,
134
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:22,077
that I never see you
before in my life.
135
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:24,514
I don't even know where I am.
136
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:25,820
I just want to clear my head.
137
00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:26,951
I want to...
138
00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:29,171
I want to empty my mind.
139
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:30,694
[HAIR DRYER WHIRRING]
140
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,220
Okay.
141
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:39,224
Entrez.
142
00:06:52,803 --> 00:06:53,848
So what do you think?
143
00:06:57,547 --> 00:07:00,332
Well, uh, I think that, uh...
144
00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,639
You look like a...
145
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:04,815
You look like a woman
dressed as a man.
146
00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:07,209
I don't...
147
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:10,691
Well, then, fix it.
Make me look like a real man.
148
00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:13,824
Ma chérie,
that would require
numerous injections
149
00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:15,347
and a trip to Sweden.
150
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,090
Well, this is
gonna have to do,
151
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,614
because Mark's game
is in five minutes.
152
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:21,876
Uh, no, no, no. Carol, Carol.
153
00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:23,225
-What?
-Carol, look, look.
154
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:24,748
I know this was my idea, okay?
155
00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:26,446
But, uh, now that I see it,
156
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,273
I really hate it.
157
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,842
I can't let you
go to the game
looking like this.
158
00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:33,322
Well, I don't care.
159
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:34,976
This is my son's
championship ball game.
160
00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,412
I'm not gonna miss it.
I don't care what you think.
161
00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:38,588
Wait, Carol, please,
please just, uh...
162
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,503
Oh, for the love
of Saint Michel,
163
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:42,287
don't open your mouth.
164
00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:43,941
Don't say nothing
or you will really
be discovered.
165
00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:45,290
Will you trust me?
166
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:47,379
No one will find out
that I'm a woman.
167
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,598
Okay.
168
00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:51,862
[COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING]
169
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,608
She's a dead man.
170
00:07:58,695 --> 00:07:59,653
[MUSIC INCREASES IN TEMPO]
171
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:06,442
[CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
172
00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:08,400
FRANK: Let's go. Come on.
173
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:12,448
Well, this is great, Frank.
174
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:15,277
Yeah, I think we're wiping up
the floor with these boys.
175
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:16,974
No, I wasn't
talking about that.
176
00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:19,803
I'm just glad we left mom
and her big mouth back home.
177
00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:21,457
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
178
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,895
FRANK: Okay. Here we go.
179
00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:33,382
[SNIFFS]
180
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:36,385
Frank, was that guy
wearing perfume?
181
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:39,257
Yeah, you put on a free game,
182
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:40,694
all kinds of weirdos show up.
183
00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:45,960
Okay, Wildcats, we got
these losers on the ropes!
184
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:48,353
Now bury their
wimpy little butts.
185
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,920
Good game, huh?
186
00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:51,095
[GRUNTS]
187
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,710
Okay, Mark,
go in for Billy. Go!
188
00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:00,452
You're putting in Mark Foster,
the wussy boy?
189
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,193
Get real!
190
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,586
I can get up the floor
faster than that little twerp,
191
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,327
and I got
a steel rod in my hip.
192
00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:08,330
Hey.
193
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:09,897
Sorry, got a nervous twitch.
194
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,812
Ah, no problem.
Got one myself.
195
00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:13,161
Took a bullet in 'Nam.
196
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:14,510
[CRACKS]
197
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:19,776
FRANK: Okay,
that's good, Mark.
198
00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:21,517
Now, good D. Here we go.
Hey, all right!
199
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:37,098
What is this?
Trucker night
at the ball game?
200
00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:43,017
Bonsoir,good buddy.
201
00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:44,714
Jean-Luc,
what are you doing here?
202
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:47,064
I came here to keep you
from exposing yourself.
203
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,372
-That come out wrong.
-Yes.
204
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:53,288
Why are you dressed like this?
205
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:55,682
Well, I could not come
as Jean-Luc Rieupeyroux.
206
00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:56,944
If I was recognized,
207
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:58,641
then I would be
trampled to death
208
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:01,165
by women who want me to
clean up their split ends.
209
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:04,473
So I disguised myself as
a typical American trucker.
210
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,083
Except for the fact
that my hair
211
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,042
has twice the shine,
twice the body.
212
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:10,261
And the secret is protein.
213
00:10:12,786 --> 00:10:14,918
That's traveling. Foster.
214
00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:19,488
It's basketball, Foster,
not a track meet,
215
00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:20,837
you pencil-neck geek.
216
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,578
-Hey!
-Carol.
217
00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:24,536
Yeah, try dribbling the ball,
you little mama's boy.
218
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,104
Hey, that's my kid
you're talking about!
219
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:28,845
Oh, no wonder he's a wimp.
220
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:30,717
His father talks like a girl.
221
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:32,936
You take back
what you said about him.
222
00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:34,851
-Take it back! Take it back!
-Carol, Carol, we're
going to leave now.
223
00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:36,244
You know, you heard me.
You heard me.
224
00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:38,246
He's a little weenie.
225
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:39,639
Why don't you take him home
and put him in his
Girl Scout uniform
226
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:41,205
so we can get some
real men out here, huh?
227
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:42,729
All right, all right,
bullet head.
228
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:44,165
-No! Carol!
-Come on! You're going down.
229
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:46,820
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
230
00:10:49,126 --> 00:10:51,259
[GRUNTS]
231
00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:54,523
Good God, it's one of them
cross-dressing freaks
from Milwaukee.
232
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,786
-Okay.
-Stop it. Stop it.
233
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:58,092
-Carol! Carol, stop it!
-[BLOWS WHISTLE]
234
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:00,268
-Time out!
-[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
235
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:03,401
Hey, man,
we got some trailer trash
fighting in the stands.
236
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:05,752
-Help me break this up.
-Yeah, okay.
237
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,492
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
238
00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:10,800
All right, you bozos.
You're out of here.
239
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,976
This pervert
and her boyfriend started it.
240
00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:16,023
Oh, yeah?
Well, you're a big-mouth bass.
241
00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:18,982
-Carol?
-Oh, hi, uh, Frank.
242
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,202
Mom?
243
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:23,465
Hi, sweetie pie.
244
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:26,076
No doubt about it.
I'm looking at therapy.
245
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:29,471
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
246
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:34,737
[UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL
ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
247
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:40,656
Rich, en garde.
248
00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:44,138
[EXCLAIMING]
249
00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:45,748
Aw, man. Isn't this great?
250
00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:47,489
This is great.
251
00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:50,579
A couple guys hanging around,
doing guy stuff, huh?
252
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,276
You know, I'm starting
to miss the opera.
253
00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:56,063
I'm gonna call Dana.
254
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,195
Oh, no, you don't.
That'd be giving up, okay?
255
00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:01,024
You might as well mail her
your manhood in a paper bag.
256
00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:03,723
A small paper bag.
257
00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:07,901
Dana, it'll be fun.
You'll see.
258
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,903
Guys, I don't like parties
that much, okay?
259
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,600
I would just rather be home,
reading a book.
260
00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:13,384
No, no, no, no, no.
261
00:12:13,471 --> 00:12:17,040
Dana, I'm not gonna
let you sit home alone
262
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:19,216
while Rich is out
having a good time.
263
00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:22,350
I mean, that'd be like
giving him all the power
in the relationship.
264
00:12:24,526 --> 00:12:27,442
Oh, God.
What's Barky doing here?
265
00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:29,183
Dana's here?
Dana's here!
Oh, my God.
266
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:30,750
I can't let her see me
standing here alone.
267
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:31,751
She'll think
I'm a loser like you.
268
00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:35,189
Uh, you, dance with me.
269
00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:37,887
[LAUGHS] Get real.
270
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:41,761
Fine. If you dance with me,
I'll give you five bucks, huh?
271
00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:43,588
Ten bucks. And a pizza.
272
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,068
And no touching.
273
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:46,417
You got it. Deal.
274
00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:47,505
Let's...
275
00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:57,037
Uh-oh.
276
00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:58,865
Uh, look who's here.
277
00:13:02,912 --> 00:13:04,479
[GASPS]
278
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:09,223
That no-good,
two-timing pig dog.
279
00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:12,661
He's dancing
with another woman.
280
00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,185
And not very well.
281
00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:17,405
[GASPS]
282
00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:20,538
He said he wanted to go out
with JT and do guy things.
283
00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:23,628
Well, he's cheating on you.
That is a guy thing.
284
00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:24,847
Yeah?
285
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:28,329
Well, revenge is a girl thing.
286
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:29,983
You, dance with me.
287
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:31,549
Sure. Nice to meet you.
My name's--
288
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,203
Shut up. No names. Just dance.
289
00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:45,607
[GROANS]
290
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:46,738
Hey!
291
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,566
Oh, hello, Rich.
292
00:13:48,653 --> 00:13:50,830
Good to see you're
having a happy guy night
293
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:53,658
with your guy friend
Jessica Rabbit.
294
00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:57,793
Well, you're not exactly home
watching Murphy Brown
now, are you?
295
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,751
-Hi. My name's--
-Nobody cares.
296
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,623
You lied to me.
297
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,451
You said you wanted
to hang out with JT,
298
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:06,323
and here you are picking up
on some cheap bimbo.
299
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:07,890
No, I'm not cheap.
300
00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:09,718
I'm getting ten bucks
and a pizza for this.
301
00:14:11,763 --> 00:14:13,156
Beat it, Barbie.
302
00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:16,203
Hey, that's not
a nice thing to call her.
303
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,378
Oh, no, no, it's really okay.
304
00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:18,901
My name really is Barbie.
305
00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:23,558
No way. My name's Ken.
306
00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:28,345
Ken and Barbie?
307
00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:31,044
-Yeah.
-That's fate.
308
00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:33,046
You know, I really do
drive a pink Corvette.
309
00:14:36,484 --> 00:14:38,790
So, this is your idea
of a guy night?
310
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,836
Hmm? Cruising for other women?
311
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,316
Well, you seem to be
having a pretty good time
312
00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:44,144
with Mr. Boy Toy over there.
313
00:14:44,231 --> 00:14:45,754
I can dance with
whoever I want to.
314
00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:47,234
You don't own me.
315
00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:48,844
-Oh, is that right?
-Yeah, that's right.
316
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,454
You know what you are?
You're a control freak.
317
00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:52,456
Take that back.
318
00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:53,675
See? There you go again.
319
00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:55,372
Always ordering me around.
320
00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:56,808
Everything always has
to be your way, doesn't it?
321
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,245
You pick the movie.
You pick the restaurant.
322
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,464
You even tell me
what to order for dessert.
323
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:03,859
You're like some bizarre
cross between Adolf Hitler
and Martha Stewart.
324
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:09,430
How dare you compare me
to Martha Stewart?
325
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:12,912
Take it back.
326
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,045
Take it back or I'll...
327
00:15:16,132 --> 00:15:18,569
I will smash this cake
right in your face.
328
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:23,183
Dana, you don't have the...
329
00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:28,318
Okay.
330
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:33,149
Well, I certainly hope
331
00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:34,803
that you like wearing pastry.
332
00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:38,372
You're not man
enough to do it.
333
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:40,940
[GASPS]
334
00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:51,341
Big mistake.
335
00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:55,476
Uh, now...
336
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:56,651
Now, wait a second.
337
00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:06,748
You are gonna pay for that.
338
00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:16,540
[SPRAYING]
339
00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,811
Okay, wait a second.
Wait a second.
340
00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:28,944
I've seen enough.
I let it go too far.
341
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:30,902
You guys are
acting like morons.
342
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,427
You know what, JT?
343
00:16:33,514 --> 00:16:35,516
There were no problems
in our relationship
344
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:37,735
until you stuck
your big nose in.
345
00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:39,346
Hey, you know, Dana's right.
346
00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:40,912
We were doing just fine
until you got into it.
347
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:44,351
I was just trying to help.
348
00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:48,442
Your relationship
is sick and demented,
349
00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:50,357
and I thought I needed
to point that out.
350
00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:53,012
You should thank me.
351
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:57,755
You know, Dana, he's right.
352
00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:59,148
We should thank him.
353
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,410
Yes, you should.
354
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:03,413
Here you go, JT.
355
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:13,858
[CROWD EXCLAIMING]
356
00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:28,047
From now on, butt out.
357
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,182
Man, try to help
some people...
358
00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:34,531
[CROWD LAUGHING]
359
00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:44,802
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
360
00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:47,892
Would you look at those two?
361
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,243
They're disgusting.
362
00:17:58,773 --> 00:17:59,774
[CHIP CRUNCHING]
363
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:03,604
[CHUCKLES]
364
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,085
I'm sorry, Dana.
365
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:07,869
I said some things
I didn't mean.
366
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:11,002
I guess I just got crazy
when I saw you with that guy.
367
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,917
I was only dancing with him
368
00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:16,399
'cause I couldn't stand
seeing you
dance with that girl.
369
00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:19,098
But I guess you wouldn't
have even been at this party
in the first place
370
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:21,622
if I wasn't always
dragging you to the ballet
371
00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:23,580
and dragging you
to the opera, and...
372
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:27,845
Well, it would be nice
to have a little say
once in a while.
373
00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:30,413
Okay, so what do you
wanna do next weekend?
374
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:32,154
One word.
375
00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:33,199
WrestleMania.
376
00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:36,245
It's like ballet,
377
00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:38,247
but there's big fat guys
dancing in their underwear.
378
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:42,121
What else you got?
379
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:45,907
I don't know.
380
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:47,778
There's gotta
be something
we both like.
381
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:50,390
I like cake.
382
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,262
I like cake too.
383
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:55,960
Oh, you got some on your nose.
384
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,137
Mmm.
385
00:18:58,224 --> 00:18:59,181
[LAUGHS]
386
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:04,491
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
387
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:10,497
[GLOOMY MUSIC PLAYING]
388
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:24,598
Uh, do you mind
if I talk to Mark alone?
389
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:27,992
Oh, no. I don't wanna
be anywhere near
this conversation.
390
00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:33,694
[EXHALES] Ah, Mark.
391
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:37,915
Look, I know
I embarrassed you.
392
00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:39,526
It's just that when
you told me that, you know,
393
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:40,962
you didn't want me
to come to your game,
394
00:19:41,049 --> 00:19:42,137
I felt shut out of your life,
395
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,226
and I'm not ready for it.
396
00:19:45,793 --> 00:19:47,882
Mom, I'm 15 years old.
397
00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:49,318
It's not healthy for you
398
00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:50,450
to be hanging
around me all the time,
399
00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:52,626
calling me baby names.
400
00:19:52,713 --> 00:19:54,105
You're gonna have
to let me grow up.
401
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,629
I know. I know. You're right.
402
00:19:55,716 --> 00:19:59,241
I have to give you some space.
It's just...
403
00:19:59,328 --> 00:20:04,072
Isn't there any way I can fit
into your life any more?
404
00:20:04,159 --> 00:20:07,075
Okay, you can
come to my games under
the following conditions.
405
00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:08,555
CAROL: Okay.
406
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:11,079
Number one, you will not
call me sweetie pie,
407
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:13,995
pumpkin, muffin,
or any other food item.
408
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:16,650
Deal.
409
00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:18,869
Number two,
please wear clothes
410
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:20,915
that come from your side
of the closet only.
411
00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:22,308
Fine.
412
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:24,048
And number three.
413
00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:27,661
You will never, ever,
under any circumstances,
414
00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:30,011
sew my name into
my jockstrap again.
415
00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:32,840
But what if they
get mixed up with--
416
00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:34,058
Mom.
417
00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:36,104
Right. I'm sorry. Promise.
418
00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:42,589
No one should ever be
embarrassed by their family.
419
00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:45,287
Hey, guys.
420
00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:55,123
So how was the game?
421
00:20:58,735 --> 00:21:00,389
Uh, Brendan,
422
00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:01,564
is there something
that you would
like to tell us?
423
00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:06,395
Oh. You mean the tutu.
424
00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:09,268
Lilly made me play
ballerina with her.
425
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:11,270
LILLY: Hey, Brendan.
426
00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:17,972
Come on, Brendan.
It's your turn to be
the Sugar Plum Fairy.
427
00:21:24,108 --> 00:21:25,762
You know, uh, maybe it's time
428
00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:27,242
Frank take
all the guys
in the house
429
00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:29,026
out for a little
fishing trip, you know?
30244
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