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1
00:00:01,131 --> 00:00:03,046
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:07,181
Oh, J.T., hey.
3
00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:09,487
I gotta tell you something.
4
00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:11,924
Your father is a genius.
5
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,752
Really? I thought
you were my father.
6
00:00:18,148 --> 00:00:19,410
Next week
is Carol's birthday,
7
00:00:19,497 --> 00:00:22,979
and I have found
the perfect gift.
8
00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:25,025
Let me take you
through the entire
9
00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,983
Frank Lambert
thought process.
10
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:30,030
Okie dokie.
11
00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:32,206
Now, I've been
researching this for a month.
12
00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:34,947
This was my first choice.
13
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,820
Hmm, cashmere sweater.
Very classy.
14
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:39,039
It's garbage.
15
00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:42,607
Anybody can get her that.
16
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:44,740
It's way too impersonal.
17
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:49,310
Mmm, jewelry.
It's always a winner.
18
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,442
[MIMICS BUZZER]
Wrong.
19
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,053
Carol's got
way too much jewelry.
20
00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:55,098
So what'd you get her?
21
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:57,796
Check this out.
Come here.
22
00:00:57,883 --> 00:01:01,148
Got her the deluxe
emergency road safety kit.
23
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,501
So look at it.
24
00:01:06,588 --> 00:01:08,720
I mean, it's got
your jumper cables.
25
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:11,158
It's got flares.
It's got a first-aid kit.
26
00:01:11,245 --> 00:01:12,985
It's got a three-day supply
27
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,987
of dehydrated food.
28
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,555
I mean, come on.
What do you think here?
29
00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:20,689
I think you
are going down, Dad.
30
00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:23,213
Dad, this is the most
wholly unromantic gift
31
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,910
in the history
of birthdays.
32
00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:27,261
Unromantic?
33
00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:34,790
Son, do you know
what women really want?
34
00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:36,357
A hot, young stud like me?
35
00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:41,057
No.
36
00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:43,886
They want security.
37
00:01:43,973 --> 00:01:45,931
This gift oozes security.
38
00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:49,109
This gift says,
"I love you.
39
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:52,634
"And I want you to be safe
under all road conditions."
40
00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:56,899
Dad, this gift says,
"I got my wife's birthday gift
41
00:01:56,986 --> 00:01:58,161
"from Manny, Moe, and Jack."
42
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:06,865
Hey, Dana.
43
00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:09,520
Little brother,
you are looking at a woman
44
00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:12,567
who has found a sure way
to earn $3,000.
45
00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:16,179
Oh, yeah? Posing for that
"Girls of the Cheese State"
calendar?
46
00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:18,007
No, you pervert.
47
00:02:18,094 --> 00:02:19,443
College is holding a contest
48
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:21,402
to develop community
recycling projects.
49
00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:24,622
First prize
is a year's tuition,
and I'm gonna win it.
50
00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:26,711
What makes you so sure?
51
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:29,105
My project partner
is the biggest science geek
on the campus,
52
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,933
Doug Steckler.
53
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,761
Doug Steckler?
54
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:35,503
Whoa. That guy
has one massive brain.
55
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,159
I worship him.
56
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:42,510
Sweetness,
did you hear about
this recycling contest?
57
00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:45,426
I signed us up as a team.
Isn't that great?
58
00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:48,168
Gee, I was gonna watch
American Gladiators,
59
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:49,865
but this might be better.
60
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:51,823
Out.
61
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:54,174
Or I'll tell mom you watch
Baywatchin your underwear.
62
00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:56,437
Okay, okay.
No, no. All right.
63
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:01,398
Kiss me, baby.
I'm a genius.
64
00:03:04,575 --> 00:03:07,883
Rich, um,
about us being partners
for the contest--
65
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:09,101
I know. Isn't it great?
66
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,364
The two of us,
side by side.
67
00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,627
You working
on a brilliant idea,
68
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:14,585
me working on your neck...
69
00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:20,287
I'm really serious
about winning.
70
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:22,593
And I'm really serious
about this spot here
on your neck.
71
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,117
It's yummy. Mmm.
72
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,555
Rich, look.
I already have
another partner.
73
00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:29,948
Another partner? Who?
74
00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:32,081
Doug Steckler.
75
00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:36,912
Doug "Pit Stain" Steckler?
76
00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:39,001
The science weenie?
77
00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:40,437
Why would you pick him
instead of me?
78
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,526
Because he's smart.
79
00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:45,442
I mean not
that you're not smart.
80
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:47,749
It's just that,
you know, Doug's smart,
like, in an intelligent way,
81
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:50,186
and you're smart
82
00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:51,970
in your own way.
83
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,931
I get it.
84
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:57,976
So I'm smart enough
to be your little boy toy,
but not your partner.
85
00:03:58,063 --> 00:03:59,761
Is that it?
86
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:01,719
I was so afraid
you wouldn't understand.
87
00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:09,118
ALL: ♪ Happy birthday to you
88
00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:12,817
♪ Happy birthday to you
89
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:17,561
♪ Happy birthday
Dear Carol
90
00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:21,870
♪ Happy birthday to you
91
00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:24,525
♪ And many more... ♪
92
00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:25,569
[ALL CLAPPING]
93
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,398
Make a wish, Mommy.
94
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:31,401
Okay. Oh, this is easy. Okay.
95
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,056
[BLOWING]
96
00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:35,623
Whoa!
Hey!
97
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:37,146
Carol.
98
00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:38,756
My God, woman.
99
00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:40,541
You have the lungs
of a blowfish.
100
00:04:40,628 --> 00:04:41,716
Yeah.
101
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:43,761
Open your gifts, Carol.
102
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:45,850
Here, Mom.
This is from all of us kids.
103
00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:47,287
Oh.
104
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,245
I think you're
gonna be really surprised.
105
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:50,986
It's a cashmere sweater!
106
00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:52,770
Yeah, right.
107
00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,339
Oh, my God.
108
00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:58,863
It is a cashmere sweater.
109
00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:01,910
This is so classy.
110
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:05,000
Oh, thank you.
111
00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,263
It was J.T.'s idea.
112
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:09,744
J.T.? You're kidding.
113
00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:12,573
How did you know
this is exactly what I wanted?
114
00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:18,274
Well, I, uh...
115
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:20,145
I get these intuitions.
116
00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:22,670
It's all part
of the J.T. Lambert
thought process.
117
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,675
I hope it's not
too impersonal.
118
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,198
Impersonal?
119
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,896
It's cashmere,
and it's my favorite color.
120
00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:34,159
Oh, thank you so much.
121
00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:36,423
Oh, I love you guys.
122
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:38,599
[KISSING]
123
00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:40,078
Happy birthday.
124
00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:42,994
Come here, sweetheart.
125
00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:45,997
Oh, and all this time
I thought The Brady Bunch
126
00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:47,259
was just a crock.
127
00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:54,963
Carol, a petite token
of my great, great affection
128
00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:56,878
and superb taste
on your special day.
129
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:59,097
Aw, thank you.
130
00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,665
Ooh.
131
00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:05,365
Oh, gosh.
[GASPS]
132
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:07,323
Oh, my word.
133
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:10,065
These are the most
gorgeous earrings
134
00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:11,806
I've ever seen in my life.
135
00:06:11,893 --> 00:06:14,548
[GASPS]
136
00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:18,943
Uh, honey, don't you
have a pair of earrings
kinda like that already?
137
00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:20,467
Who cares?
138
00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:22,382
A woman can never
have too much jewelry.
139
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,298
These are gorgeous.
140
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,778
Carol,
you showed me a picture
141
00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:30,085
of these exact earrings
in a magazine.
142
00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:33,393
Yeah, but that must have
been six months ago.
143
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,960
I can't believe
you remembered.
144
00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:37,962
You're my best friend.
Of course I remember.
145
00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:39,660
Oh.
Happy birthday.
146
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:43,098
Oh, thank you.
Oh, you are incredible.
147
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:46,101
Hey, Carol, you think
you're excited now, huh?
148
00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:52,673
Why don't you wait
and see what Dad got you
for your birthday?
149
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,329
Go ahead, Dad.
Give her the gift.
150
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,375
This is gonna
knock your socks off.
151
00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:02,422
Ooh, I can't wait.
152
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:05,773
Well, I think
that my gift to you
153
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:08,732
is one that should be
opened in private.
154
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,561
And deny us
the opportunity
155
00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:13,476
to see the joy
on Carol's face?
156
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,565
I won't have it.
157
00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:20,352
Yeah, come on.
I wanna open it now.
158
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,528
Yeah.
159
00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:24,139
Well, okay.
Brendan...
160
00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:25,183
Here you go, Carol.
161
00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:26,968
[GASPS]
162
00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:29,013
Wow, it's really big.
163
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,798
[LAUGHS]
164
00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:32,626
Oh, boy.
165
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:38,109
Well, whatever it is,
166
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:41,809
it's hidden inside this
emergency road safety kit.
167
00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:45,682
[LAUGHING]
168
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:50,557
Okay. Hmm.
169
00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:56,476
Oh, look.
170
00:07:56,563 --> 00:08:00,175
It's a road safety
emergency kit.
171
00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:05,702
Oh, gee, thanks, Frank.
172
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:08,966
This is just so
173
00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:12,404
practical.
174
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:14,711
Isn't it, kids?
175
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,586
Uh, yeah.
Great gift.
176
00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:22,589
Very thoughtful.
177
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:26,375
Nicely wrapped, Frank.
178
00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:28,812
This is a joke gift,
right, Dad?
179
00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:33,425
Well...
180
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:37,038
Well, honey,
this probably isn't a great
gift for your birthday.
181
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,430
No.
182
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,694
[STAMMERING]
No, I love it.
183
00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:45,002
Isn't it great, Jean-Luc?
184
00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:52,357
I, uh, really, I...
185
00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:54,534
I think,
uh, that I need cake.
186
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:55,883
Who needs cake?
187
00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:03,804
Now, Doug,
we've got to think
scientific but practical.
188
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:06,415
I mean,
recycling that's accessible
to the common man.
189
00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:09,113
You know, I still think
that my plan to run cars
190
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,376
on cow manure
is a sure winner.
191
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:20,647
There they are.
192
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,213
Pinky and the Brain.
193
00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:26,348
I just thought
I'd drop by
194
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:29,307
and offer you my heartiest
of best wishes.
195
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,487
Sorry. I have a, um,
glandular condition.
196
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,837
I sweat a lot.
197
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:42,538
Bummer.
198
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:45,628
Listen, Dane, uh,
I just wanna let you know
199
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:47,369
that there's
no hard feelings
200
00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:50,111
about you not choosing me
to be your partner, okay?
201
00:09:50,198 --> 00:09:51,678
Really?
Really.
202
00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:53,201
In fact, you know,
I think I found a partner
203
00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:55,029
who's a lot more suited
to my needs.
204
00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,117
[DOORBELL RINGS]
205
00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:57,466
That's probably her now.
206
00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:00,512
Her?
Yes.
207
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,820
Uh, I asked her to,
uh, pick me up here
208
00:10:03,907 --> 00:10:05,953
so you could meet her.
209
00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:09,652
Hi, Rich.
You ready for me?
210
00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,393
Oh, yes.
211
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,655
Come on in first.
212
00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:15,179
Want you to meet
a couple people.
213
00:10:15,266 --> 00:10:16,659
Dana, I don't know
if you remember. This is--
214
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:18,705
Barbie.
215
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:23,187
Yes, you were
dancing with Rich
at the fraternity party.
216
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:25,233
Wow, what a memory.
217
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,496
Yeah, well, some things
are unforgettable.
218
00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:30,978
Um, Rich, can I have a word
with you for a minute?
219
00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:32,066
I really don't think
we have the time--
220
00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:33,110
Make time.
221
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:37,071
RICH: Just...
222
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:41,510
You think you're cute,
don't you?
223
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:46,254
Yeah. Pretty cute.
224
00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:49,866
I can't believe that
you would stoop to using
some bimbo to get back at me.
225
00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:51,999
Bimbo?
Dana, I'm shocked.
226
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,348
A staunch feminist
like yourself
227
00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:55,089
assuming Barbie's a bimbo
228
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:57,091
simply because she's gorgeous,
has a body to die for,
229
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,441
and a Kewpie-doll mouth
men only dream about?
230
00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,705
Oh, please.
231
00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:07,579
She is nothing
but a shallow,
little party tramp.
232
00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:10,017
Shallow?
233
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:11,671
Do you realize she has
one of the world's
234
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,673
most extensive
My Little Pony
collections?
235
00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:18,765
Fine.
236
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:21,202
You want Miss December
as your partner, go ahead,
237
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:23,117
but don't
come crying to me
238
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,988
when you're
the laughingstock
of the entire campus.
239
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:29,906
Um, Rich, we really
ought to get going.
240
00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:31,342
Ah, alas, Dana,
I'd love to chat,
241
00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:34,258
but duty calls.
242
00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:37,000
Um, actually,
my name's Barbie.
243
00:11:58,282 --> 00:11:59,719
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
244
00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:08,379
Come on, Barbie.
Work with me here.
245
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:10,120
We need an idea
that sizzles.
246
00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:11,643
We're not that dumb.
247
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,210
Not really.
248
00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:16,257
Not really what?
249
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:23,351
Barbie, this is really
important to me, okay?
250
00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:25,396
I need to prove to Dana
251
00:12:25,483 --> 00:12:27,050
that I am not
the fly-weight intellectual
she thinks I am.
252
00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:30,140
And you want me to help?
253
00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:32,316
If you can.
254
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:34,536
Cool.
255
00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,758
Okay. Let's think
real hard, okay?
256
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:40,498
Okay.
257
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:58,125
Hey, Rich.
Looks like there's a leak
in your think tank.
258
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:02,259
It just so happens
we're working.
259
00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:03,783
Well, excuse us.
260
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,697
Doug and I have
500 pages of research
261
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,003
to start compiling.
262
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:13,140
Not since I calculated
the perturbation
of Mercury's orbit
263
00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:15,446
have I known this sort
of academic thrill.
264
00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:23,411
There she is.
265
00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:26,066
Barbie, what are you doing?
266
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:27,545
I'm thinking.
267
00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:30,113
Well, stop it.
268
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,246
You'll be late
for cheerleading practice.
269
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:36,337
Oh, I forgot.
It went right out
of my head.
270
00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:38,861
Rich, could we
think again later?
271
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:40,645
I've got
cheerleading practice.
272
00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:44,084
That's it! Cheerleaders!
273
00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:47,217
They're the answer
to the world's
ecological problems.
274
00:13:47,304 --> 00:13:49,002
We are?
Yes!
275
00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:51,134
Oh, cool.
276
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:53,833
Come on.
277
00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:01,318
Dana, I am genius
with a capital "J."
278
00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:13,591
Carol.
Yeah?
279
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:17,117
Honey, I, uh,
I want to apologize.
280
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:19,510
For what?
281
00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:22,557
Well, for getting you such
an unromantic birthday gift.
282
00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:25,995
Oh, Frank.
You know, you gave me
the gift with love.
283
00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:27,736
That's all
that's important to me.
284
00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:29,346
Well, I just don't think
it was a good enough gift
285
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:31,174
to prove to you
how much I love you.
286
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:33,263
So I got you
another present.
287
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:35,309
I don't want
another present.
288
00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:36,832
Well, you got one anyway.
Come on. Take a look.
289
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,573
Frank.
Come on. Come on.
290
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:40,488
Here we go.
291
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:45,580
Happy birthday.
292
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:50,846
A boat?
Yeah.
293
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,459
You know, Jean-Luc
is not the only one
294
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,200
who pays attention
to what you say.
295
00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:59,420
Do you remember
about three years ago,
296
00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:00,900
we were in bed,
watching TV,
297
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,771
and we saw a red boat,
and you said,
298
00:15:02,858 --> 00:15:04,468
"Boy, that looks like fun."
299
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,910
Frank, I don't want a boat.
300
00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:12,476
You want a Cadillac?
301
00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:14,565
Or an RV? Or both?
I'll buy you anything.
302
00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:15,653
Frank. Frank.
Honey, I will.
303
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,438
Frank.
304
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:20,789
I got the only thing
I want for my birthday.
305
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:23,748
I got to be with you.
306
00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:26,273
You know, Frank,
every morning, I wake up,
307
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,449
and I look over
on your side of the bed,
308
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:31,104
and I just smile.
309
00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:33,802
'Cause I know
I get to spend the rest
of my life with you.
310
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:39,329
Really?
Really.
311
00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:41,462
Then I am
the luckiest man
in the world.
312
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:43,507
And I love you.
313
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:44,639
I love you, too.
314
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:52,864
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
315
00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:56,825
[MAN CLAPS]
316
00:15:56,912 --> 00:16:00,611
Can we take our seats
so we can begin
the award ceremony?
317
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:02,874
Good evening,
students and faculty.
318
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,659
I'm Professor Robert Nesler.
319
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,008
[DANA AND DOUG CLAPPING]
320
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,227
DR. NESLER: Thank you.
321
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:10,056
Both.
322
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:12,623
This evening,
it is my great privilege
323
00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:18,325
to award first prize
for the best community
recycling plan.
324
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:19,935
Now, there were many
worthy projects,
325
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,155
but I think
it's important
to select one
326
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,896
that was truly exceptional.
327
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:28,900
Would Ms. Dana Foster
and Mr. "Pit Stain" Steckler
328
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,250
please stand up?
329
00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:37,300
Ms. Foster,
Mr. Steckler.
[CLEARS THROAT]
330
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,911
Your plan
to turn cow manure
331
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,262
into a neo-fossil fuel
332
00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:44,655
was brilliantly
conceived and executed.
333
00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:46,701
[CROWD CLAPPING]
334
00:16:49,704 --> 00:16:51,488
Well, thank you,
Professor Nesler.
335
00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:53,316
This is a great honor.
336
00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:55,840
But I have to say
that if I hadn't chosen
the right partner,
337
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:58,713
Doug Steckler,
I wouldn't have won.
338
00:16:58,800 --> 00:16:59,931
Oh, you didn't win.
339
00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:02,717
No, I was just
trying to be kind.
340
00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:04,066
You came in second.
341
00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:09,550
First prize
and a year's tuition
342
00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:13,815
goes to Rich Halke
and Barbie Dahl.
343
00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:15,077
[BARBIE EXCLAIMS]
Yes!
344
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,124
We did it!
345
00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:22,606
Yes!
346
00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:25,087
Wow. I just wanna say
this is a great honor,
347
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:28,134
and, uh, I owe it all
to choosing the right partner.
348
00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:29,657
Otherwise I would
have ended up
349
00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:32,964
with a project
that was just a pile
of cow manure.
350
00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:37,099
Mr. Halke
and Ms. Dahl's plan
351
00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:38,709
for community-wide recycling
352
00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:41,886
is so incredibly
simple-minded
353
00:17:41,973 --> 00:17:45,064
that any idiot walking down
the street could do it.
354
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,848
Mr. Halke, Ms. Dahl,
would you care
355
00:17:46,935 --> 00:17:48,284
to come up
and explain your project
356
00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:51,070
to the simple-minded
members of the audience?
357
00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:53,289
Love to.
358
00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:59,513
Okay, ladies and gentlemen.
359
00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:03,604
You could do all
the research you want.
360
00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:05,954
But if you want
the general public
to recycle,
361
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,303
you have to reach
the common man.
362
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:11,220
Now, I could recycle
this aluminum can,
363
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:13,875
but only with
the proper motivation.
364
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:17,183
Watch and learn.
365
00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:22,231
Now, I'm just
an average guy
366
00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,798
walking down the street.
367
00:18:23,885 --> 00:18:25,930
Think I'll throw this can
in the gutter.
368
00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:28,846
Stop.
Don't be a litterbug.
369
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:31,501
If you recycle that can
and make a basket,
370
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,677
I'll cheer for you.
371
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:35,549
That sounds great to me.
372
00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:42,164
♪ Rich Rich
He's our man
373
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:44,253
♪ He recycled
An aluminum can
374
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:45,994
♪ Go Rich!
375
00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:47,778
Whoo!
Whoo!
376
00:18:47,865 --> 00:18:49,519
BARBIE: Whoo!
377
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,958
Now come on, guys.
Be honest.
378
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:56,657
Don't you wanna
give your can to Barbie?
379
00:18:56,744 --> 00:18:59,573
[ALL CHEERING]
380
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:02,619
Let's give a round
of applause to our winners.
381
00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:04,099
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
382
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:19,506
Well, congratulations
are in order.
383
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:20,681
Congratulations.
384
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,075
I guess I owe you
an apology.
385
00:19:24,946 --> 00:19:25,990
I guess you do.
386
00:19:27,078 --> 00:19:29,342
I'm sorry.
387
00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:32,997
Ooh, now, you know,
if I was a smart guy
like Doug Steckler,
388
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:34,173
that might be enough
of an apology,
389
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,783
but, you see,
I'm kinda dense,
390
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:39,047
so you're gonna
have to really
spell it out for me.
391
00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:41,005
Is that really necessary?
392
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:42,181
Oh, yeah.
393
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:44,661
All right.
394
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,272
I don't always
give you credit
395
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:50,058
for being as smart
as you are.
396
00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:52,191
Thank you.
I really mean that, though.
397
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:53,975
I mean, I guess
you're not book-smart,
398
00:19:54,062 --> 00:19:55,716
but you're so creative.
399
00:19:55,803 --> 00:19:58,066
You know, I wish I could
be as creative as you are.
400
00:20:00,024 --> 00:20:03,158
You were creative enough
to pick me, weren't you?
401
00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:09,773
Mmm. Ooh, there's
that yummy spot again.
402
00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:17,868
Come on, it'll be fun.
403
00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:19,957
I hate this.
404
00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:22,612
Oh, now, now,
I had to do my shift,
you have to do yours.
405
00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:24,484
If we want the people
to recycle,
406
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,530
we all have to pitch in.
407
00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:33,449
Oh, you look great.
408
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:36,235
And you can even wear that
on our date tonight.
409
00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:38,759
Rather shave my legs
with a potato peeler.
410
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,026
Are you the recycling babe?
411
00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:47,333
Yes, she is.
412
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:48,812
You just, uh,
tell her your name,
413
00:20:48,899 --> 00:20:50,292
and she'll do
a little cheer for you.
414
00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:51,337
My name's Phil.
415
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:54,949
♪ Phil Phil
He's our man
416
00:20:55,036 --> 00:20:56,733
♪ He recycled
An aluminum can
417
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:57,821
♪ Go Phil
418
00:21:00,346 --> 00:21:01,477
Thanks.
419
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:06,743
Now that wasn't
so hard, was it?
420
00:21:16,884 --> 00:21:18,538
Hi, Dana.
421
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:21,192
I've got a thousand
empty deodorant cans in there.
422
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,760
Come on, baby.
423
00:21:25,371 --> 00:21:26,372
Cheer me.
424
00:21:27,198 --> 00:21:29,070
Make me recycle.
29223
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