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1
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:03,959
(Alarm)
2
00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,636
Morning, Dad.
3
00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:16,115
Don't be a bad daddy. Smile!
4
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,436
Come on! (Laughs)
5
00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,636
The crowd is hushed.
6
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,476
Thank you!
7
00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,351
Sorry l'm late.
8
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,396
Meeting ran on.
9
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,236
So, what's for dinner?
10
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:40,276
- Chinese.
- Oh, great!
11
00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:43,276
- Where is it?
- At the takeaway.
12
00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,238
- Will you go?
- We had takeaway last night.
13
00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,117
Yeah, but that was lndian.
14
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,998
What are you planning for the Sunday roast -
a kebab?
15
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:55,993
David, don't start. This has got to be in
by tomorrow and editing takes time.
16
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,389
Surely you just press spellcheck?
17
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:04,557
How difficult can children's books be?
They're less than ten words to a page.
18
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,359
Precisely!
So each one has to be chosen carefully.
19
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:13,153
- ls this the last night you're going to work late?
- lf you let me get on with it.
20
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,514
- And tomorrow we won't have takeaway?
- No.
21
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,990
You can take me out for dinner instead.
22
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:26,038
- And did he?
- He wanted to but l had to work late.
23
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,076
- l thought you said that...
- l know.
24
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,436
But since l've been back at work
it takes twice as long to do things.
25
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:34,876
l've lost my confidence, can't make decisions.
lt's a bloody nightmare.
26
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,349
- lt's being married to David.
WOMAN: Tea or coffee?
27
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,510
Oh, um... What are you having?
28
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:41,715
Karen!
29
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,995
Tea, please. Yeah, l'll have tea.
30
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,550
You were good at your job before you had Josh.
Why not now?
31
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:50,552
- l wish my boss had your faith.
- l wish you did.
32
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:52,756
Take for both and we'll eat in.
33
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,991
- Make mine a takeaway.
- We're supposed to be having lunch together.
34
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:59,789
We've queued together. Sorry, Rachel,
but l've got to get back to the office.
35
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,393
You stay.
36
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,597
And look like l've no mates,
or that l'm some slapper on the pull?
37
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,636
You never know. You might get lucky!
38
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,192
Bye.
39
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:19,076
Look at them all.
40
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,196
Doesn't it make you want to vomit?
41
00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,716
He does.
42
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,475
People like that give evolution a bad name.
43
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,836
They're the ''missing link''.
44
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:35,876
(Sings) Heaven knows l'm miserable now.
45
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,714
- What's up with you?
- l just thought there'd be more to it than this.
46
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,358
When you were younger, Pete,
didn't you have dreams?
47
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,476
- Yeah.
- Well, like what?
48
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,916
One, l seem to remember,
involved Samantha Fox at a jumble sale.
49
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,833
Not like that. l mean dreams. Ambitions.
50
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:57,716
Um, no. Not unless you count
Samantha Fox at the jumble sale.
51
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,675
l was going to be a world leader.
52
00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,671
Well, that's certainly ambitious.
53
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,278
The closest l ever came
was captain of the Under 1 2s.
54
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:11,955
We can't all be world leaders.
Some of us have to be sheep.
55
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,190
Sitting at t'baaas! Baaas!
56
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,310
l woke up this morning and realised...
57
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,356
..this is it.
58
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,716
lt was a good side, the Under 1 2s.
59
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,152
Life is elsewhere.
60
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,559
And l don't have...the address.
61
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:36,759
What you need is a sense of purpose.
l'm just the man to give it to you. So...
62
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:40,355
- How do you fancy being Adam's godfather?
- Oh, l'd love to.
63
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,193
Take your time to think about it.
lt is a responsibility.
64
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:45,430
No, it's not. ls it?
65
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,273
- You have to remember his birthday.
- Rachel can do that.
66
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,351
- Set him a good example.
- Rachel can do that.
67
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,876
- Be someone he can turn to.
- When he can't talk to his parents?
68
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:58,112
Listen, little Adam, you're probably not gay,
but if you are...it's fine.
69
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:03,355
- Maybe this is a bad idea.
- Go on, go on. l can be trusted.
70
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,078
All right. Um...
71
00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,515
Be someone to tell him about life.
72
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,477
Oh, well, sure.
73
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,879
Life's elsewhere.
74
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,394
(Mimics him) And you don't have the address.
75
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,713
You tosser.
76
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,632
l've got the focus group results.
77
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,676
How does Millie score?
78
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,035
Quite well. Stanley The Sports Car does better.
79
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,315
Stanley? But he's the villain of the piece.
80
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,995
Mm-hm. But kids love it
when he belches exhaust fumes in Millie's face.
81
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,036
- (Mutters) God.
- Karen?
82
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,076
- Yeah?
- Could l have a word?
83
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:41,108
lf she wants Stanley
to have his own series...l'm leaving.
84
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,158
AIexander WeIcht.
85
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,870
- Booker Prize winner?
- Yeah. Blanket Of Tears. Beautiful book.
86
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,155
Never knew sex could be so good.
87
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,708
That scene where she's ironing...
88
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,950
We're going to publish Alec's new novel.
89
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,758
Mmmm!
90
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,796
(Saucy laughter)
91
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,516
l want you to be his editor.
92
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,598
- Me.
- Mm. Alec insists on the best.
93
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,875
- Me?
- You've always had the perfect eye for detail.
94
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:21,077
l gave you children's books
when you came back just to ease you in.
95
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:25,039
- lt's time you spread your wings.
- Well, l'm not actually sure l'm up to it, Gina.
96
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,236
Let me be the judge of that, OK?
97
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,276
Well, l have commitments, you see.
98
00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:31,678
Your son?
99
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:35,833
- l was actually thinking more my husband.
- l'm sure David will understand.
100
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,954
- lt's a wonderful opportunity.
- l know.
101
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,191
- That anybody in their right mind would jump at.
- l know.
102
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:46,113
So why do l think you're about to turn it down?
103
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:51,359
Good news, love.
Sheila's agreed to be godmother.
104
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,637
- Do you think that's a good idea?
- Oh... (Splutters)
105
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,915
- What's wrong with her?
- She's a Christian.
106
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,833
And she is my only sister.
107
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,876
And she hasn't got any children of her own,
and...
108
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,916
And, and, and, and...
109
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,911
And, and, and, and what, love?
110
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,037
And your mum rang.
They want to come and visit this weekend.
111
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,315
- l hope you said we were away.
- We're not.
112
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,389
So?
113
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,319
Oh, for God's sake.
They're Adam's grandparents.
114
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,595
lt's nice they want to see him.
115
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,591
lt's lovely.
116
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,272
l think.
117
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,635
- They'll only be staying a week.
- A week!
118
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,676
(Whimpers) To ten days...
119
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:33,676
- Thank you, David.
- l'm a godfather. To my niece. Rebecca.
120
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,630
Oh, yeah? How old is she?
121
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,676
Oh, let's see.
122
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,718
When she was born
l was working on the Lanskey takeover,
123
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,836
which means she must be er...
124
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,636
- She's six.
- Six?
125
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:53,318
- ls it that long since Lanskey's went under?
(Doorbell)
126
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,196
David's close to his niece, is he?
127
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,350
l'm surprised he remembered her name.
128
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,757
- Oh, hi. Karen Morrison lives here, yeah?
- Yes.
129
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,115
l'm Alec Welcht.
130
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,679
Her author.
131
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,796
Oh, yes! Millie The Mountain Bike.
132
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,838
- Yes. l didn't realise it had an author.
- Millie...?
133
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,480
Tell me, how do you fill in the rest of your time?
134
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,597
Well, children's books can be literature too,
you know.
135
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,033
Mm!
136
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,797
- Yeah, come in.
- Thanks.
137
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,155
Karen? lt's your ''author'' to see you.
138
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,792
- Sorry, l didn't catch the name.
- Alexander Welcht.
139
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,916
- Karen.
- Mr Welcht.
140
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:41,151
- Nice to meet you.
- Like the real writer. Do you ever get confused?
141
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,595
- Well, l am now. Hello, good evening.
- Hi.
142
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:45,318
- Hello.
- Very nice to meet you.
143
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,550
Er, David, this is Alexander Welcht.
144
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,875
Oh, l'm so sorry, Mr Welcht. l'm so sorry.
145
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,191
- Please. Call me Alec.
- Alec. l am so sorry. l had no idea.
146
00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,077
l didn't mean to belittle...
147
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,311
Children's books, they're really...
lf l'd known it was you...
148
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,914
- lt's OK.
- Tell me what you think of this wine.
149
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,956
- Please, sit down.
- Oh, thanks.
150
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,315
- Something to eat?
- Humble fare, but...
151
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,834
lt smells delicious, but l don't have time.
152
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,117
- So, Alec, you're a writer.
- Yeah.
153
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:20,513
- Anything we would have heard of?
- Adam! Mr Welcht wrote Blanket Of Tears.
154
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,033
ADAM: Oh, right!
155
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,951
- You read it?
- No, l saw the movie.
156
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:25,473
Ah.
157
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,120
Yeah. Hope the book was better!
158
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,156
Well, the Booker judges thought so.
159
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,508
- l started writing a novel once.
- Oh, God...
160
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,556
- Did you finish it?
- No, it was shite.
161
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:41,872
Should have stuck with it. First draft's
always shite. That's why you need a good editor.
162
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:47,159
That's why l'm here. l just found out today
the editor l'd requested has turned me down.
163
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,117
(Sighs and tuts) He must be mad.
164
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,270
Either that or she's very discerning.
165
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,191
l wanted to find out which.
166
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,278
Karen!
167
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,231
Er...Mr Welcht, it would really be an honour
to work with you,
168
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,390
but l don't have the time to do it justice.
169
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,869
- Of course you do.
- How would you know?
170
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:11,358
We have a nanny. We eat takeaway food.
171
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,635
- Not all the time?
- You hate takeaway food.
172
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,915
- l could grow to like it.
- Or cook.
173
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:23,433
Alec, Karen would be delighted
to be your editor.
174
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:25,634
Would you?
175
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,110
Yes, l would...Alec.
176
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:34,317
Well, that...that's just brilliant.
l thought l was going to have to beg.
177
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:39,275
l hate to drink and run,
but l've got some people to meet for dinner.
178
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,350
Hope you can edit as well as you can cook.
179
00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:45,752
See you tomorrow, Karen.
180
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,752
Good night, everyone. Sorry to barge in.
l'll see myself out.
181
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,558
No, no, let me.
182
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:55,716
- No-one ever compliments my cooking.
- God, l loved Blanket Of Tears.
183
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,756
God, it was so sexy.
184
00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,875
- Do you remember the bit where she...?
- lroning.
185
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,837
l read it with one hand.
186
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,150
(Raunchy laughter)
187
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,356
- Adam?
(Clattering)
188
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,869
- Adam, what are you doing?
- l knew it was up there somewhere.
189
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,599
l couldn't sleep, not after meeting Alec Welcht.
190
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,830
l know he has that effect on women, but...
191
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:26,595
He's fired me, Rach. He's given me
the sense of purpose l was lacking.
192
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:30,116
- My novel. l'm going to finish it.
- At three o'clock in the morning?
193
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,670
- Hemingway didn't work office hours.
- No, and he died alone.
194
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:38,830
- Don't you want to read it?
- l'll wait till it's in paperback.
195
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:41,990
Ha!
196
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,876
l knew that was a good title.
197
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,316
(Moans softly)
198
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,237
(Gasps)
199
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,310
Oh, David...
200
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,156
Oh, David...
201
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,558
- Karen, l'm trying to read here.
- Oh, so read later.
202
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,196
l will. lt's a long article.
203
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,796
(Door bangs shut)
204
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,551
(Baby cries)
205
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,756
Oh, for heaven's sake. Karen!
206
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,551
(Reads) Night.
207
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,596
Winter.
208
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,796
Dark.
209
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,678
Cold.
210
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,513
- (Stifled giggle)
- The howl of a dog...
211
00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,551
..an anthem of despair.
212
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,356
A distant sound.
213
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,076
Growing louder.
214
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,440
- Choo...
- (Laughs openly)
215
00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,476
..choo...
216
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,236
- ..choo.
- (Laughs)
217
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:07,916
- lt might sound better in the morning.
- l doubt it!
218
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,956
Pumping pistons.
219
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,876
- Rattling rails.
- (Laughs)
220
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,313
lron horse?
221
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,076
(Sobs with laughter)
222
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,070
- Go on.
- l thought you were trying to sleep.
223
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,116
What, and miss this?
224
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:35,231
- l think l'll start from scratch.
- Oh, Adam!
225
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,516
(Sounds horn)
226
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,192
Hooray!
227
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:53,753
They're here.
228
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:58,356
JENNY: lf it starts getting to you,
take a deep breath, count to a hundred.
229
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,997
(Takes a deep breath)
230
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:06,234
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...
231
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,276
(Baby grizzles)
232
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,476
l brought some provisions.
233
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,271
We do have shops in Manchester.
234
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,718
We like certain brands.
235
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:19,110
- Aah!
- There. Hello!
236
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,510
- How was your journey?
- A lot of traffic on the A34.
237
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:26,070
A34? What's wrong with the M6?
lt's much quicker.
238
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,628
- Since when?
- Since they built it. Look at this.
239
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:32,190
- What about the roadworks at Knutsford?
- Come off at Sandbach.
240
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:36,034
- And get caught up in Holmes Chapel?
- Well, it's better than Wilmslow.
241
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,430
- lt wasn't bad. Took us two hours.
- l could knock a half hour off that.
242
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,238
- Oh, yes?
- Yes.
243
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,916
Milk.
244
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,434
One, two, three...
245
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:50,035
Karen! Karen,
have you seen the papers l left on the table?
246
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,435
- No.
- You were in the bathroom a long time.
247
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,829
l was finishing Alex's book.
248
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,478
Oh, yeah? Any good?
249
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,755
Well, the climax doesn't disappoint.
250
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,637
Ramona!
251
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:02,676
Charles. Hi, it's David.
252
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:05,069
Sorry l missed you on Spotlight Northwest.
253
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,435
Yeah, we had a few friends round to dinner.
254
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:09,590
You've heard of Alexander Welcht?
255
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,557
The author, yeah.
256
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:14,598
No, seriously. He's a terribly nice guy. Yeah.
257
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,636
OK, see you at 1 1 :00. Jolly good. Bye.
258
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:17,755
Ramona!
259
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:20,718
- What did you think of the meal last night?
- What?
260
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,830
- Can you remember what it was?
- l haven't got time for quizzes.
261
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,478
- Ramona!
- Coming!
262
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,676
Ramona, have you seen... What is she doing?
263
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,274
- l thought they were rubbish.
- They are now.
264
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,032
Hey, well done, Ramona.
265
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:34,792
She used the past tense.
266
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:38,156
- Haven't you a job to go to?
- Alex is coming here this morning.
267
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:41,516
- l hope you're going to get dressed.
- Of course l am.
268
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:45,479
- He's taking me to lunch.
- Oh, the punishing world of publishing.
269
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,516
Say hi to Alec for me.
270
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,193
Karen,
you didn't complain that l haven't kissed you.
271
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,236
l didn't have to, David.
272
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,276
You remembered.
273
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,310
Oh. The christening's a week on Sunday.
274
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,358
- What do l have to do?
- Well, just turn up. Look pious.
275
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,356
You can practise.
And we'd like you to read something for Adam.
276
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,113
- What?
- Anything you like.
277
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,156
Jen's sister's reading the Bible.
278
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,791
- All of it?
- Course not.
279
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,235
Oh, God, l hope not. Better check.
280
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,117
l might write something.
281
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:34,591
- Oh. How is ''the novel'' coming along?
- lt's a painful process.
282
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,114
- Writer's cramp?
- Writer's block.
283
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,634
- This is my ideas book.
- l see.
284
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:43,679
l thought l'd write from experience
and then l realised...l haven't had any.
285
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,115
Mm. You should talk to my dad.
286
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,753
War hero. Bootlegger. Romeo.
287
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:53,071
- l thought he was a florist.
- Oh, he is. And a bullshitter.
288
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:58,476
(Over vacuum cleaner) So there l am
giving Frank Sinatra a leg-up over this wall...
289
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,835
- Chorlton-cum-Hardy.
- He was doing a concert.
290
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:04,151
Yeah. ln Chorlton-cum-Hardy.
291
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,670
- ln Manchester, at the Palace!
- He was very good.
292
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:12,916
- So you saw him, then?
- No, we couldn't get tickets.
293
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,797
But the papers liked him.
294
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,632
Audrey!
295
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,676
You don't need to do that.
296
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,557
Just trying to be helpful.
297
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,838
Feet!
298
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:31,353
So, Dad, there you are
giving Frank Sinatra a leg-up over this wall.
299
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:35,433
You would've thought
he'd have slipped you a couple of spare tickets.
300
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,273
Look, do you want to hear this story?
301
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:42,035
- He might have been telling the truth.
- Bollocks! He's allergic to it.
302
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,476
- You're quite hard on your old man.
- No more than he deserves.
303
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:47,993
(Gurgles)
304
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,036
- He's beautiful, isn't he?
- Yeah.
305
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,356
- (Gurgles)
- Ssh, ssh, ssh.
306
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,036
There. (Clucks softly)
307
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,231
Jenny's looks.
308
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,629
You know,
you were my age when you had me.
309
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,676
- Really?
- Yeah. l worked it out.
310
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,676
Maths was never your strong point.
311
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,115
l'm going to be a good dad to him.
312
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,596
l wanted to be to you.
313
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,350
Yeah, well, we can't have everything.
314
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,116
- Not with a son like you, no.
- Ssh...
315
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,431
PETE: He can give it out,
but when the joke's on him...
316
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:34,593
l thought now that l've had a kid,
he'd treat me more like a grown-up.
317
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:35,829
Doesn't he?
318
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:37,797
Wash your hands?
319
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,835
Not really, no.
320
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,194
He-llo!
321
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:44,236
- Same again?
- Thank you.
322
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,236
The top of page 45.
323
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,991
Yeah. What's the problem?
324
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,993
lt's not a problem. l just thought perhaps
that she might be a bit more direct.
325
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,196
Direct. How, exactly?
326
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,354
I dunno.
I suppose I think she'd say something.
327
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,955
She's slept with him in her mind.
She'd tell him how she feels.
328
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,679
Yeah, l probably haven't been explicit enough.
329
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,276
To be honest,
l find it really difficult writing for women.
330
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,036
lt certainly doesn't read like that.
331
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:28,556
Well, what would you say?
lf you were Madeleine.
332
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,108
Oh, God. l don't know.
333
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,395
Just put yourself in her place, you know.
334
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:35,599
lmagine l'm Patrick.
335
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:37,432
No! (Giggles)
336
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,355
No, Karen, this'll really help me, OK?
337
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:44,274
Just do a stream of consciousness thing.
Something off the top of your head.
338
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,157
(Sighs)
339
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,552
OK. OK, OK.
340
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,236
(Pants and giggles)
341
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,156
OK, OK. Right...
342
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,596
Right, er...
343
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,636
Hearing your voice isn't enough.
344
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,878
l need to feel your body next to mine.
345
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,439
That's good, yeah.
346
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,431
My skin against yours.
347
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,310
My sweat's mingling with yours.
348
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,558
We're becoming one
as we give way to our passion.
349
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,038
I feeI...er...
350
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,116
l love you.
351
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:30,071
- I want you.
- See you in ten minutes.
352
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,071
(Laughs raucously)
353
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,752
- Alec!
- That's the best phone sex I've had aII morning.
354
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,354
Ah, well, that's why l'm an editor.
355
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,510
Well, what can l say? You give great edit.
356
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,068
Thank you, darling. (Giggles)
357
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,116
Look, see you at one o'clock, OK?
358
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,156
Bye, now.
359
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:54,031
And l'll need those figures by tomorrow.
Gross, not net.
360
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,950
- David, call for you. Line one.
- l said no interruptions, Sam.
361
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,191
l know, l'm sorry,
but the lady insisted it's important.
362
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,236
At least, l think she did.
363
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:07,914
Yep?
364
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,956
David, it's Ramona.
365
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,836
Ramona? ls Josh all right?
366
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,879
Yeah, Josh is fine. lt's me. l no fine.
Please - you got to come home now.
367
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,996
What are you talking about?
368
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,868
l have see things and l have hear things
and they are no good things.
369
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,111
- ls Karen there?
- Yes, she here but she going out.
370
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,988
She meet Mr Welcht. Oy.
They have speak each other, David.
371
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,751
''l...l think l love you.''
372
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:39,069
- l beg your pardon?
- Yes! ''l love you. l want you!''
373
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:46,711
Ramona, l'm shocked!
374
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,439
l know is shocking. But is the truth.
375
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,193
l don't know what to say. l... l mean...
376
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,796
- l'm flattered, but...
- FIatter?
377
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,354
- But l'm married.
- Flatter? What is?
378
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,271
(Door closes)
- David, she going now.
379
00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:03,157
Please, you gotta come home!
380
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,515
Ramona, I don't think that's a good idea, OK?
381
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,989
Let's just say no more about it, OK?
382
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,390
Let's pretend it never happened.
383
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:12,913
iMamá! iSí!
384
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,717
That was my nanny.
She's er...a little highly strung.
385
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:24,991
Spanish.
386
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,671
Flatter.
387
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,751
Flatter.
388
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,750
Flatter. ''More flat.''
389
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,476
Hmm.
390
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:41,872
Oh, thank you, God,
for l am out of the house, the devil house.
391
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,474
Are Pete and his dad
still winding each other up?
392
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:48,553
Yeah. l can live with that.
lt's Pete's mum. She's driving me mad.
393
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:52,079
Tesco's have had to send out
for more Mr Muscle.
394
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:55,596
You drop a crumb
and she's caught it before it hits the carpet.
395
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:57,668
Nightmare.
396
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,194
- Sorry l'm late, girls.
- Oh, s-whit s-whoo.
397
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,840
- Late lunch?
- Long lunch.
398
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,912
- We had to finish the Moët.
- Champag-ny!
399
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,308
Was this you and David?
400
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,834
- Alexander Welcht.
- Writer?
401
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,279
Wri...
402
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,237
Blanket Of Tears!
403
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,595
- Ooh, that bit where she's...
BOTH: lroning.
404
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,477
Yeah! lt's fab.
405
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:24,030
Clearly you have to tell us about it. Come on.
Every detail. (Raps table)
406
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:26,076
OK, OK. OK.
407
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,958
Well, it was a very noisy restaurant, right,
408
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:31,190
so we had to sit quite cIose together...
409
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,676
Don't look now, but there's
a woman behind you in a red jacket.
410
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,591
l said, don't look now!
411
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,391
Daniella Dunn.
412
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,311
Well...
413
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,031
She was born...
414
00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:47,917
Daniel Dunn.
415
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,558
- No!
- Yeah.
416
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,073
- No.
- Yes.
417
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:55,199
- l said, don't look now! God!
- (Giggles)
418
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,236
He put his hand on your arm?
419
00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:59,032
Twice.
420
00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:01,588
- (Chants) Fancies you, fancies you!
- What?
421
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,272
There's more, there's more.
422
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:07,319
Karen, um...
423
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,631
Would you mind if l...
424
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,996
..if l dedicated this book to you?
425
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:17,675
Me?
426
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:18,909
You?
427
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,558
Me.
428
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:25,274
Well, without you,
it wouldn't be half the work it's gonna be.
429
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,349
Me?
430
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,670
ls there another Karen at the table...
431
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:36,394
..Karen?
432
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,438
Seems to me the gentleman
wants to get into your panties.
433
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,112
The thought had crossed my mind.
434
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,351
- He touches your arm so he wants to shag you?
- Touched it twice.
435
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:46,795
Why? Why is that so ridiculous?
436
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:52,079
Karen...if he wanted to have an affair,
don't you think he'd be a bit more explicit?
437
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:56,755
- Maybe he likes subtlety.
- Oh. The bit where she's ironing?
438
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,637
- Anyway, even if l did, would it be so wrong?
- Yes!
439
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,351
Er...well, er...
440
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,795
He's a Booker prizewinner. Well...
441
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:14,829
My God. So adultery's fine,
as long as it's with a celebrity?
442
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,515
- Who died and made you Pope?
- Karen, what about your family?
443
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,272
(Jen gurgles)
444
00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:22,475
(Giggles)
445
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,357
(Gurgles)
446
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,548
- (Gargles)
- Could l have a cappuccino, please?
447
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,791
(Football on TV)
There's cheese and some leftover salad.
448
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,075
- ls it curling?
- No, it's football!
449
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,116
Ha-ha! The salad.
450
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,556
- Only at the edges.
- Oh, l'm really looking forward to this!
451
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,756
So who's playing?
452
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:44,310
Manchester United and Barnsley.
453
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,356
- FA Cup.
- Oh. Right.
454
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,113
- Not a fan of football, then?
- No. Can't stand it.
455
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,555
But it's better than an evening on my own.
456
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:53,596
l'll make a dressing, shall l?
457
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,278
Are we going to tell him?
458
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,590
- How long till kickoff?
- A couple of minutes.
459
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:00,910
- No.
- Do you have any balsamic vinegar?
460
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,956
- (Cackles)
- Er...possibly.
461
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,593
So, um...how are things with you and your dad?
462
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,633
- lt's not like you to be interested.
- That's not true.
463
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,676
OK, it's not like you to show concern.
464
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:18,709
l just thought you might want to tell us about...
l don't know...his latest outrage.
465
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,951
- l don't see why they have to stay the night.
- Who?
466
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,996
Karen and Alec Welcht.
467
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:27,516
They've only gone to Liverpool.
He's reading an extract from his new book.
468
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,797
- Look, David...
- lt's probably a long extract.
469
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,997
- There's something you should know.
- (Splutters) Kickoff!
470
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,036
You go on.
471
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,034
Um...l think Karen's having an affair.
472
00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:42,678
(Chuckles)
473
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:44,273
With Alec Welcht.
474
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,318
Hm?
475
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,356
Alec Welcht.
476
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,476
Don't be ridiculous.
477
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,517
Yeah, you're probably right.
Forget l said anything.
478
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,590
No, l know she is.
479
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,592
- Yeah, l knew all along.
- lt's probably rubbish.
480
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,636
No, l...l was aware about it.
481
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:12,669
You know, the...the dresses.
482
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,956
Hairdos.
483
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,992
- The silk negligee she packed this morning.
- Silk?
484
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,670
- lt's not your fault.
- l encouraged them to spend time together.
485
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:41,715
Oh.
486
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,756
Karen. l was just on my way to you.
487
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,952
- Champagne?
- Er, yeah, sure.
488
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,190
Why not? Come in.
489
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:56,756
l just thought we should celebrate.
490
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,400
- The reading went so well.
- Yeah, it did, didn't it?
491
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,711
l was worried about the audience to begin with.
Took some warming up.
492
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,712
Rubbish.
You had them eating out of your hand.
493
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:09,395
Well, the trick is just to focus
on one particular person.
494
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,436
Give them all you've got.
495
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,874
And did you find someone to focus on?
496
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,712
Oh, l did.
497
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,756
l certainly did.
498
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,436
(Champagne cork pops)
499
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,589
Well...here's to a successful evening.
500
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,476
That's only just begun.
501
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,118
Oh, my God.
502
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,156
Oh, sorry, this is, um...
503
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,754
- lt's Trudi, isn't it?
- That's right.
504
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,513
- This is Karen, my editor.
- Nice to meet you.
505
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:58,397
Hi.
506
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:01,438
- Trudi was in the front row. Here, darling.
- Cheers.
507
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,988
- You must have noticed her.
- Um, well...
508
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,469
l don't think l'm as observant as you think.
509
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:10,915
Um, l thought you were on the way to my room.
510
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,474
Oh, yeah.
You don't have any condoms, do you?
511
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,711
No.
512
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:20,597
No, l'm sorry, l don't.
513
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:22,159
Oh. Never mind.
514
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,276
Mm... Do you want some?
515
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:27,395
- No, thank you. l don't.
- Oh, OK.
516
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:29,718
Er, l'd better be going.
517
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:33,759
- l haven't embarrassed you, have l?
- God, no! (Laughs) God, not at all.
518
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,756
Um... (Laughs) Er...
519
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:41,436
l just don't...
l don't really like champagne that much.
520
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:46,952
See you.
521
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:55,199
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
522
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:59,958
Shit, you shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit, shit...
523
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,395
Shit, shit, shit, shit...
(Mobile rings)
524
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,236
(Ringing continues)
525
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:11,996
What do you want?
526
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,678
Bastard!
l'll bet he had his eye on her from the start.
527
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:39,876
That's how she got the job.
528
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,550
- Oh, God, l don't believe this.
- Oh, God, l don't believe this.
529
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:47,791
- Have Barnsley scored?
- No, this! Your novel.
530
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:51,316
- l'm a cuckold of my own making.
- lt's me and my dad, isn't it?
531
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:52,879
Well...loosely.
532
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,156
Loosely! You haven't even changed the names!
533
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,310
l was going to. ls there one you'd like?
534
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,789
How dare you say these things about us!
535
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:02,189
l love my dad. lt's just...it's just...
536
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:05,192
- Oh, l can't stand him!
- Don't take it personally.
537
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:09,159
- l do take it personally. He's shagging my wife.
- Unconfirmed. Give me that.
538
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:12,232
No! There's absolutely no way you're having it.
lt's mine!
539
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:15,198
- lt's my life!
- l mean, how could she?
540
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,635
He's so pretentious!
541
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:20,598
You've taken the piss out of me
ever since we were at school!
542
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,796
Yeah, well, everyone did. You were fat.
543
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,440
Yes, and l still am, according to you!
544
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:27,476
But you called me lan Paisley!
545
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:30,074
- Because you talk funny!
- Two can play at that game.
546
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:34,039
- You arrogant shit!
- l'm not without admirers of my own.
547
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,951
You're jealous. You always have been.
548
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,956
Don't bother getting up.
549
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:43,070
l'm going home now...to sleep with Ramona.
550
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,236
(Flamenco guitar music)
551
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:57,239
Olé!
552
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:03,917
Don't be afraid.
553
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:05,956
lt's just me.
554
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:09,796
Da-veed!
555
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:16,156
These past few days
l haven't been able to take my eyes off you.
556
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,075
- You feel so young.
- Mmm.
557
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,116
So firm.
558
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:26,199
Mm! Me encanta el olor de tus cabellos.
559
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,316
Oh, David...
560
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,356
Karen!
561
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,475
Oh, l love it when you speak Spanish.
562
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,516
l can explain.
563
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,029
- Explain what?
- Why l'm here.
564
00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:44,475
- lt's perfectly obvious.
- lt is?
565
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,716
You haven't been this sexy for ages.
Have you been drinking?
566
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,234
Yes. Yes, that's it, yes. l'm drunk.
567
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:53,515
- (Giggles)
- Completely rat-arsed!
568
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:56,830
l don't know where l am. l'm...
569
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,591
l thought you were in Liverpool.
570
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,240
- With Alec.
- l decided not to stay.
571
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:05,555
Anyway, Ramona rang to say Josh had a cold.
572
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,916
l wanted to be close to him,
so l've put her in the spare room.
573
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,310
- l explained all this in my note.
- Your note?
574
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,312
My note telling you to find me here,
you drunkard!
575
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,356
Oh, that note.
576
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,917
Now...what was that you were saying?
577
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,433
Hm?
578
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:26,637
- ln Spanish.
- Er...
579
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:29,476
You had a fight?
580
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,316
- Who won?
- Does it matter?
581
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,150
He did. (Laughs)
582
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:38,394
- So what are you working on now?
- My novel.
583
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:42,951
Look, once it's a bestseller he'll be happy as
Larry. (Mimics) That's about me, that is.
584
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:46,635
You realise we're going to their house tomorrow
for dinner with his parents?
585
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,312
Mm-hm.
586
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,873
- Are we still invited?
- He didn't say we weren't.
587
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:53,916
That is going to be excellent!
588
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:59,079
- Do you think we shouldn't go?
- l still need an ending.
589
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:05,038
- Say you'll come. Please!
- No. He hurt my feelings.
590
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,156
You hurt his.
591
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:10,471
ls that it?
What are you going to do, chuck it over?
592
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:14,030
Yeah, right.
No, l usually spend lunch hour making revisions.
593
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:17,271
- After last night, there are quite a few.
- Let's have a look.
594
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,032
- No.
- Go on. Please.
595
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:22,157
No, it's a work in progress!
Go away, you mad thing. No!
596
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,790
Like Father, Like Son.
597
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:46,836
Good title. l like it.
598
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:49,673
- Do you?
- Yeah. Right, let's have a look.
599
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:55,232
''Pete was never a slave to fashion,
and his style was as flexible as his girth''!
600
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,916
Adam, that's so cruel!
601
00:34:58,040 --> 00:34:59,996
The truth is painful.
602
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:04,039
''Pete's wife Penny...'' Penny?
l thought you hadn't changed the names.
603
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,792
l haven't. lt's a misprint.
604
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:09,316
''Pete's wife Penny - The Misprint -
knew her mind.''
605
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:14,315
That's true. ''She always liked the last word
and, for that matter, every word in between''!
606
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:17,153
- No!
- lt's dramatic licence!
607
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:19,196
l mean, obviously it's not true.
608
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:23,993
You've hurt my feelings. l'll have to go now.
Listen, you will come tonight?
609
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:27,595
- l'm going to finish the book.
- Fine, just don't finish it tonight.
610
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:29,830
Have dinner tonight. Please.
611
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,275
Are you really that concerned
about me and Pete?
612
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:36,114
Mm...no. No, you'll be all right.
You'll patch it up. You always do.
613
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:41,274
No, it's bloody Wallace and Gromit - Pete's
parents. l could just do with the moral support.
614
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,312
OK, we'll come.
615
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:48,152
Hoorah.
616
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:51,916
Only because it's you.
617
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:00,671
You and Pete have had a falling out, eh?
618
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,276
l'm not supposed to mention it.
619
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:10,751
- Thanks, Pete.
- Reminds me of when you were kids.
620
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,796
They were always bickering.
621
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,476
Then Pete would sit on him.
622
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:18,790
Some things haven't changed, then.
623
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:20,836
Got your notebook, have you?
624
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:36,752
- Audrey, why don't you go and sit down?
- l'll just finish these plates.
625
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:39,479
But we haven't even used them yet.
626
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,316
They gather dust in the cupboard.
627
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,879
Oh. Do you like your carrots that thin?
628
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:47,951
Audrey, sit down!
629
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:51,476
- You could cut the atmosphere in there with a...
- (Whimpers)
630
00:36:55,720 --> 00:36:57,711
Do you need a hand?
631
00:36:57,800 --> 00:36:59,233
(Gasps)
632
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,151
DAD: l hear you're Adam's godfather.
633
00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:04,869
- Unless l've been sacked.
- Come on, Adam. Pete wouldn't do that.
634
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,156
- Jenny won't let me.
- Hm.
635
00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:10,879
And what do you think
of the young fella's name?
636
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:12,518
Adam?
637
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,033
l like it.
638
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,076
Adam Preston Gifford.
639
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,475
- No room for Algernon.
- No.
640
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:22,791
Nor Sigismund, or Egbert, or Beowulf.
641
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:25,348
Algernon's been in the family for generations.
642
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:29,069
My great-grandfather was an Algernon
and every Gifford since.
643
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:33,199
- lt's Pete's middle name.
- And they never let me forget it at school.
644
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:34,872
What's wrong with Algernon?
645
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:39,795
lt's ugly, it's old-fashioned,
and in its shortened form it means pond scum!
646
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,348
- That was his nickname.
- lt's our heritage!
647
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,640
- Do you want to destroy that?
- Apparently.
648
00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:48,712
'Ey, we could add it after Preston.
649
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:51,875
- Yeah!
- No. No way.
650
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:53,712
One daft name's enough.
651
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:58,078
Besides, he's not having four initials.
People will think he's upper class.
652
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:05,240
Then you won't see us at the christening.
653
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:25,111
- (Ramona sobs) ..l say to him.
KAREN: l don't want to know!
654
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,156
(Ramona sobs hysterically)
655
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:31,111
- l'm not bloody interested, Ramona.
- But it's not true!
656
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:34,317
l don't care, Ramona!
You should have thought of that before!
657
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:36,675
But l ask him to help...
658
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:38,113
David!
659
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:40,478
(Sobs)
660
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:43,870
- Have you told her to pay for her phone calls?
- l fired her.
661
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:45,075
Why?
662
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:48,716
Because she's having an affair.
663
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:51,876
She wouldn't be the first, would she?
664
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,957
You shit! You never read my note, David!
665
00:38:57,240 --> 00:39:01,995
- How long have you been shagging Ramona?
- l haven't. lt was our first...or rather, it wasn't.
666
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:04,389
Look, Ramona's got a crush on me, right?
667
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:08,519
And l, well...l thought l'd take advantage,
since you've been shagging Alec Welcht.
668
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:12,229
- What?
- Don't deny it, Karen. Adam told me everything.
669
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,470
Adam? Your source was Adam?
670
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,154
Who got it from Rachel.
Who presumably got it from you.
671
00:39:17,240 --> 00:39:19,196
David, l never slept with Alec.
672
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:24,954
l won't pretend it didn't cross my mind - that's
what l told Rachel - but it never happened.
673
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,236
l think he prefers younger women.
674
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,236
l see.
675
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:34,551
- But you thought about it, didn't you?
- Yes, l did, David.
676
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:39,039
He paid me attention. He flattered me.
677
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:40,678
l can flatter you.
678
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:47,236
You've got a great throwing arm.
679
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:56,279
l'd hoped Pete would inherit his father's looks,
not his temperament.
680
00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,029
Audrey, um...
681
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,838
Really sorry...l held a knife on you.
682
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:06,672
That's all right, dear.
683
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:10,319
You've always been a little bit excitable.
684
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:17,712
Pete's really upset
that you won't be at the christening.
685
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:19,836
- Oh, we will.
- Eh?
686
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:23,799
When Pete wants one thing
and you want another, who wins?
687
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:27,472
Moi!
688
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:31,758
They say men marry their mothers.
689
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:34,512
Oh, no. (Laughs)
690
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:36,113
Bye, love.
691
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:38,319
See you, Mum.
692
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,356
- Bye-bye, love.
- Bye.
693
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:42,317
- Look after my grandson.
- Yeah.
694
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:44,996
And my son.
695
00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:50,196
JENNY: Bye.
696
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:54,558
- Pete.
- Yeah?
697
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:56,596
Which way to the A34?
698
00:40:58,160 --> 00:40:59,673
A34?
699
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:03,038
Right.
700
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:06,796
Obstinate sod!
701
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,836
Don't you turn left for the A34?
702
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,716
- Oh, dear.
- Oh, that's awful.
703
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:20,756
Awful.
704
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,070
- l should have listened to you.
- Mm.
705
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:25,469
- l shouldn't have said anything to Adam.
- No.
706
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,278
l'm sorry.
707
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:32,114
- How did you get Ramona to stay on?
- An apology and a pay rise.
708
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:35,555
You should get Adam to contribute.
709
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:38,313
Oh, l'm not the vindictive kind, Rachel.
710
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,476
- Hi, girls.
- Adam.
711
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:45,796
Have you finished it already?
712
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:48,476
Well, there were no long words.
713
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,516
Karen, l want you to be brutal.
714
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:54,036
l know we're friends,
but l value your professional opinion.
715
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,076
What can l say, Adam? lt left me...
716
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:58,558
Speechless.
717
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:02,352
lt reminds me of what
Truman Capote said of Jack Kerouac.
718
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,078
- Really?
- Mm.
719
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,799
''This isn't writing, it's typing.''
720
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,548
ln your case, it's not even good typing.
721
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:14,398
Um...when l said ''brutal'', um...
722
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:18,029
There's a simile in chapter five l quite liked,
though it's not original.
723
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,554
The rest is just wastepaper.
724
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,197
l um...think l'll...get myself a drink.
725
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,595
Best make it a double, eh?
726
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:32,398
l haven't finished yet.
727
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:37,556
(Organ music)
728
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,511
Quickly.
729
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:50,556
All right, all right. Careful.
730
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,316
- Hi.
- Sorry we're late.
731
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:56,356
- Hi.
- Hi.
732
00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,237
For you.
733
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,880
We're accepting gifts after the christening.
734
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:03,757
lt's my novel.
735
00:43:05,720 --> 00:43:08,359
l decided friendship
was more important than fame.
736
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:12,671
Denis Law?
737
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:17,198
Anyway, Karen said it was shite.
738
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:20,748
ls there any sign of your parents yet?
739
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:22,353
No.
740
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,715
They'll be here. Your mum promised.
741
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:26,756
You might want to move inside now?
742
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,318
l'm Sheila. Jenny's sister.
743
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:43,868
- The Christian?
- Of course.
744
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,076
As godfather, aren't you?
745
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,795
- Have you got him a present?
- A Bible.
746
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:53,436
Oh, you haven't as well?
747
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:56,550
l was this close to, but...no.
748
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:59,350
l got him a Peter Rabbit bowl and mug.
749
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:05,916
lt's Wedgwood.
750
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:08,796
Hiya. ls David not with you?
751
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:11,235
No, he's on the phone. Some deal with Tokyo.
752
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,036
Are we the last?
753
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:15,838
Possibly.
754
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:21,919
Hai. Watashiwa Tokyoe ikimasu...
755
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:26,431
Er, next week.
756
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:28,715
You don't speak Japanese, do you?
757
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,756
Yes. As a matter of fact, l do.
758
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:36,236
Perfect. Could you tell him
l'm going to be in Tokyo next week?
759
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:38,712
Moshi moshi. Odenwa kaerimashita.
760
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:41,439
SHElLA:
And if your hand causes you to sin,
761
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:44,392
cut it off.
762
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:46,869
lt is better for you to enter life maimed
763
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:50,794
than with two hands
to go to hell to the unquenchable fire.
764
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:54,917
And if your eye causes you to sin,
765
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,472
pluck it out.
766
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:02,194
lt is better for you to enter
the kingdom of God with one eye
767
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,753
than with two eyes to be thrown into hell.
768
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:15,195
We're now going to hear from Adam's
godfather and namesake Adam Williams.
769
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,312
Brilliant.
770
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,716
- Arigato.
- Doo itashimashite.
771
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:26,035
ADAM: l'm quite nervous, actually.
772
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:29,636
A lot of eyes looking at me.
773
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:34,228
Um...no-one's ever asked me
to be a godfather before.
774
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:37,396
l can't see why not.
775
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:42,678
And so l'm especially proud
that my best friends have.
776
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,953
l've got some notes here somewhere.
777
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,797
When a baby's born er...everything changes.
778
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,036
Families change.
779
00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:59,716
Everyone else moves up a generation.
780
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:03,877
Pete...who is a son...
781
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:05,951
(Mobile rings)
- ..is now also a father.
782
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:10,593
Yeah?
783
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,636
Hai. Hai.
784
00:46:12,720 --> 00:46:14,676
Er... (Snaps fingers)
785
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:18,710
Um... Where was l? Er...
786
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:20,756
Oh, yeah, fathers and sons.
787
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:27,113
l asked Pete's dad - Algy -
what it had been like for him to be a father.
788
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:28,918
This is going to be good.
789
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,070
And er...he sent me this.
790
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:41,196
''lnevitably parents love their children
more than their children love them.
791
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:47,592
A father looks at a son and sees part of himself.
792
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:51,793
They say, 'Be careful what you wish for.'
793
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:57,993
My wish for my son was that he grew up
independent of mind and strong of will.
794
00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:01,190
That he has drives me mad.
795
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:04,556
lt also fills me with pride.''
796
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:07,108
Yeah? Well, why didn't the old git turn up, then?
797
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,998
''l know that Pete will be a good father.
798
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:13,276
l've seen the way he looks at his son -
799
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:16,796
with love.
800
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:24,592
A love that only a father can recognise, and
which l recognise, cos that's how l look at Pete.
801
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:28,079
(Mobile rings)
ADAM: Oh, for God's sake!
802
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:30,720
You shouldn't blaspheme in church.
803
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:33,075
And you shouldn't heckle.
804
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:34,912
Hello?
805
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:40,232
OK, Mum.
806
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:44,636
What is it, Pete?
807
00:47:45,720 --> 00:47:47,472
My dad.
808
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,516
He's dead.
809
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:11,796
lronic, really.
810
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:14,556
Your father never went to church.
811
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:18,435
Then he has a heart attack
on his way to one.
812
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:22,556
l'm going to be a good dad to him.
813
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:26,116
l wanted to be to you.
814
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,076
He never knew how much l loved him.
815
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:34,516
Yes, he did.
816
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:38,394
You just had a funny way of showing it, love.
817
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:40,311
- Look after my grandson.
- Yeah.
818
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:42,996
And my son.
819
00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:49,476
You're just like him.
820
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:52,552
Come on.
62258
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