Original subtitles

I don't know, sweetheart. I think your platforms are just too tall. It's making

your dress look too short.

Mother, it's late.

All the stores are closed. I don't have time to get new shoes before the wedding

tomorrow. What am I going to do?

Take a breath.

The first time I laid eyes on you, your face was all scrunched up like it is

right now.

You were three years old when I adopted you, and I told you then that I would

always make sure everything was all right.

Is that what you need to hear right now?

I can't even wear your shoes because your feet are so much smaller than mine.

I can make the dress longer, honey. I can make the dress longer. Take it off.

You don't have time to make the dress longer. You have a million things to do

before the wedding tomorrow.

Have you got any better ideas?

Yeah, call the wedding off. I don't want to do it.

Sweetheart, you got the pre-wedding jitters. Everybody gets them.

Did you?

You bet I did. The day I married your father, I walked down that aisle, took

one look at him, and thought, am I out of my mind to marry this man?

I guess you were. You got divorced.

Yeah, but I got you.

Hello?

Yes, Josh, she's here.

Now, you can't speak with her because it's bad luck for the groom to speak to

the bride before the wedding.

What are we doing? We're fixing her dress.

Her shoes make it look too short, so... Anyway, have you gotten the flowers?

I'm not supposed to be here.

I don't care.

This is terrible.

I won't be marrying you tomorrow.

Because you love him.

No, I don't.

You're just nervous. It'll be okay.

Were you nervous before you got married?

Yeah.

All three times.

Can we make love one more time?

I can have you there under my dress.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, don't want to fuck the can around.

Yeah.

You never did get to travel.

No, no.

Yeah.

And then there's the big one. You never got that car you wanted.

Yeah.

I mean, everything is going good. I mean, the money is coming in and stuff

like that.

I gotta think about marriage, and kids, and family, and... I don't know about

these things.

Someone else.

And she's not that easy.

And I'm not a dick.

to your husband from Bangalore on your wedding night.

Fresh virginal pussy.

My feet are so tight around that cock.

Yes.

Tight fat pussy.

Grabbing onto that cock.

That's a hot dog.

Fuck my hot little pussy.

Stick it in my box.

Stick it in that hot little box.

Fuck it.

Fuck my pussy.

Fuck that hot little pussy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right there.

Oh, God.

Oh,

God. Yeah,

come within my ass.

Come within my ass.

It's your life.

I just won't show up at the wedding tomorrow.

Well, I think at least you should let everybody else know so they don't show

up either.

Yeah.

Hello, Mother.

I have something to tell you.

I'm thinking about calling off the wedding tomorrow.

Mother, I said I'm thinking about it.

Will you calm down?

Hello?

That bitch calling?

I'm sorry, Charlotte.

I can't believe you let her get away with that, Alvin. I'd like to wash her

fucking mouth out with soap.

Is that why you called?

No, I think you should talk to Laura.

She's ready to call off the whole wedding, you know?

Well, maybe if you talk to her and change your mind about coming... then

she might feel a little bit better about things.

You know my stand on that.

I won't go without Tammy.

You are not bringing that tramp to the wedding.

And if you were any kind of man at all, you'd put your daughter ahead of your

dick for a change.

I'll give it my sincere consideration, Charlotte.

Goodbye.

Fuck you, too.

Right.

What if I wore one of those big black bells over my head?

You know, I don't even think they know who I was.

No.

No, it's Laura's day. I couldn't disrespect her like that. I'd have to go

alone.

You go to that wedding alone.

You can sleep alone.

And your cock will never, ever go into my little princess's again.

Huh.

I'd give you all night to reconsider that.

I want to go to the wedding, Alan.

There were friends of mine once upon a time, too.

Thank you.

Remember when we did this?

Don't forget about it.

You know, Josh, I don't think this is working.

I thought you were going to get it hooked or something.

What's up with bringing your ex-girlfriend here?

I'm not amused.

You thought I was a hooker?

Well, I thought you were a nobody at least.

Well, I thought you were a nobody too. What are you doing?

What's with the head games?

Yeah, what's up?

I gotta go to bed.

Yeah, I bet you do.

And you know what the worst part about it is?

Know what?

That my daddy won't be able to walk me down the aisle.

I have to go down the aisle with my mother.

What's the matter? Is he sick?

No.

He won't go to the wedding without his girlfriend.

My mother don't want her there.

Why can't he bring his girlfriend?

Because she used to be my girlfriend.

He stole her.

I really liked her, too.

He told you I was a hooker?

He just said you were going to get somebody.

gonna be you.

I didn't know it was gonna be you here.

I guess I'm glad then. I mean, I like you, but I don't like you.

Well, I liked you until now, but... So now you don't like me anymore?

No, I don't.

I thought you were cute.

I never thought you were cute.

Awkward way to meet.

Yeah, well, I guess maybe he's not that bad.

Oh, he's gone.

Then he'll stay gone. Yeah.

Let's take some of this.

This is much better.

Don't stop me.

Let me put my...

Bet there's an Australian dick there.

Maybe get really deep with him. It's kind of small.

Irving, you got it. Yeah.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

He's a bad month to shave.

I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. Are you battling in Tokyo?

Take it off. Take it off.

You better flashback from childhood.

He's the one getting married.

Fuck it.

Okay.

You're done.

You shouldn't have said anything.

I'll be facing this way for a while.

You'll end up giving him a holiday pat.

Joey, what do you think?

What's wrong with you, man?

It's a party. It's a party for you.

Just relax.

It feels more like a funeral.

My own.

Look, you'll feel a whole lot better once you get home.

Why don't I bring her over here and get things started, you know?

Oh, yeah. That means yes. Good. Come here, sweetie.

Come on.

Why did I bring you here?

Doctor, that feels so bad.

Come on, guys. Let's get Josh in the room. Let's go play some pool, okay?

Let's go.

Guys, guys, guys, guys. You don't have to go. Really.

You

know, I

can't do this.

What? Fuck me or get married?

Neither.

He didn't want me.

Huh.

Did what?

Grrrr!

There you go. Oh,

yeah.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

Okay, it wasn't the greatest move.

I mean,

what I mean to say is, you know, I was just, you know.

Well, I figured if it was going to, you know, if I was going to do something

like this, I just wanted to be with two women who I really respected and who I

really cared for.

Who do you think?

Oh, come on.

Last drop.

So Tammy and I were really close for a while.

And then she started dating my dad.

I will never forgive her for taking him away from us.

And that's why I won't have her at my wedding.

you feel.

At least you owe them that.

Why don't you talk to your fiancé?

Tell her how you really feel.

Maybe you're not ready for this yet.

It's not too late. You have the right to back out.

Hello?

Where are you?

Your mother's worried sick about you.

Yeah, I want to talk with you too.

No, no, no. Everybody left.

Tell you what, why don't you just come on home?

Okay. Bye-bye.

Mm-hmm.

Mm

-hmm.

Mm

-hmm.

I didn't want to wait too long. Did you miss me?

Yeah.

I can see your eyes from right above my face.

I'm teasing you again.

I'm not much to you.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Oh Oh

Oh.

Oh, no. Call 911.

What? Call 911.

Tell them I'm having a heart attack. What? What are you going to say?

Tell them I can't do this anymore.

I'm scared.

I'm scared, too.

It's okay. We all do.

Besides, if you were perfect, then you'd never change. And you'd be boring.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Come on.

We are gathered here today to bring this couple together in holy matrimony.

Who gives this woman to this man?

We are gathered here today to join these two people.