Original subtitles

Friends with benefits is not really a thing.

After you sleep with a friend, you're in a new zone.

A love adjacent zone.

Do you know you snore in your sleep?

What? No.

You didn't know that? No, I don't. It's like a dead level of snoring.

And you talk.

It's a whole symphony of sounds.

Oh my god. It's so embarrassing.

I blame London for the snoring.

Messed with my sinuses, you know? That's kind of cute.

You get all the zing of a crush, but the familiarity of your pal.

Why did you leave London?

I kind of had to.

I went over there with my boyfriend who I thought was going to propose, but then

he left me for my best friend.

And so I sort of vandalised his flat and I lost my visa.

I'm sorry you went through that.

Turns out he looked very nice, you know.

What about you?

What was it like being a dad at 20? Did you, like...

Miss going out and stuff?

It's crazy.

But I didn't really know anything different.

I guess while I was changing nappies, everyone else was at Rhythm and Vines.

I got hypothermia at Rhythm and Vines.

Yeah, so trust me, you didn't miss much. Thank you.

That makes me feel heaps better.

I can't believe I'm sleeping with Harriet Brewer from high school.

I know, right?

High school us would be so weirded out.

No. A high school cell would not be weirded out. A high school cell was into

you a lot.

What? Really? I just figured I wasn't your type.

Okay, I had no type. No one was my type. There were no types. You had a Brad Pitt

type. Oh my God, Brad Pitt was everyone's type.

That's true.

And besides, Renee was your type way more than I ever was.

Yeah, I guess.

My parents really loved her.

Yeah.

Do you want to know what's weird?

Always.

I don't feel weird right now at all.

Yeah, me neither.

It feels kind of nice.

So what do we do now?

Now?

I'm probably going to pee and brush my teeth. Big plans.

No, I mean, with that, what do we do?

I don't know. It's like... It's like not overthink it.

Yeah? Cool.

Okay.

Right. I gotta get up. I've got lunch with my dad.

Monday, right? Doesn't he live in Sydney?

Yeah. We hear from him every couple of years when he's broken up with his

latest floozy.

Does Gail make you say floozy? She refuses to let us call them girlfriends.

They're not on great terms.

Mm.

All right, well... Thanks for a fun weekend.

Thank you.

Playing at marriage and intimacy is exciting, but real intimacy requires

healthy boundaries. Are you right? Which is a whole other thing.

I want to settle down.

I want to settle down.

Won't you settle down with me? No matter how fun the weekend was, real life will

always be waiting.

Yo. Out like a light.

Hi. Hi. Yeah. I tried texting you in the weekend. You didn't text me back.

Oh, yeah.

Harry and I were watching Shawshank Redemption.

What a movie.

Hi.

Um, I need to leave work early today. I just, um, I have golf.

Uh-huh.

Hey, you wearing perfume?

Maybe. Just trying a new thing. You don't try new things.

Look at me, Sal.

Harry and I slept together.

Don't freak out, though, okay? That's why you didn't fix me all weekend. You

were deep in the thick then, huh? She had a bad day, and then I fought her

boss, and then she kind of couldn't resist.

I mean, who could resist this hot, hairy, sexy body, huh? I mean, I need to

warn you, though. You need to be careful.

What do you mean?

She's a bit flaky.

We're taking it slow.

What are you doing?

Don't call Rushdie. I have to. Stop. Wives kill husbands who keep secrets,

especially pregnant wives, bro.

What did you just say? What?

What did you just say two seconds ago? Especially prep.

What?

Yeah. Are you joking?

You're bad.

You're going to be a pro.

My best friend and my cousin are having a baby? Yeah, bro. We've got the scan

this afternoon.

I knew you weren't going golfing. No. You can play golf. No, I don't, bro.

Sal is a relationship kind of guy. He loves love.

Congratulations.

I thought you said he was out. Yeah, I thought he was. If Harry doesn't hate

love, she can just feel a little trapped by it. And no one's getting drunk, and

we're not getting sucked into Dad's vortex of bullshit, okay? We haven't

seen him for like two years, Vanessa.

30 minutes, honestly.

He wants something, I tell you.

Boundaries with the man. If you let him in, he's going to fuck it all up. I

mean, he seemed excited to see her. He always seems what?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God, are you okay?

Plus, he emerged here pregnant!

That is such amazing news! Because when do you care about babies?

Oh, my God. What are you talking about? I love babies. I've always cared about

babies. You literally pat Ruby on the head like a dog.

Okay, I don't know. They've just been, like, trying for ages, and I'm really

happy for them. It's lovely.

It's lovely?

Yeah.

You slept with Sal.

Oh, my God. Sorry, what are you talking about? And you're all happy about it.

Okay, yes, yes, I did a few times, and it was just amazing.

But then, like, this morning, he kind of wanted to talk about us, and then I

thought I just kind of left.

No, no, no, don't do that. Don't break his heart.

Oh, God, I'm not. I like him. I just don't think we need to put a label on it

yet. You've gotten married. You've labeled it. That ship has sailed.

Oh, my God. Don't self-sabotage. Can you chill out?

We're two adults in a marriage of convenience, and now part of that

convenience includes firking.

Don't say firking. Is it too thirsty for you? It's not thirsty at all. I think it

might be thirsty.

No, let's get to Overwood before I change my mind.

So she's there.

Hi, Dad.

Oh, come on.

Maybe feel old.

Call me Stevie.

Hi, Stevie.

Right, we do have to drink to get a fuck around here.

Not to point fingers, but Harry's issues with love are definitely this dipshit's

fault.

Hey, Bill, my man.

Good timing, bro.

Hey, Matt, what are you doing here with Sheena? Yeah, about that. She

asked if I could pick her up from school early today.

Is everything okay? Yeah, she's fine, but you should probably have a chat to

her. Okay.

Where's Renee?

Not sure.

You haven't heard from her, have you? She hasn't been home in the past couple

of days.

We had a little problem.

I'm sorry, man. I haven't seen her.

Renee has a habit of disappearing when things get hard. She did it to Sal, and

now she's doing it to TV's Matt Gibb. Anyway, this is a little something for

you. Oh, wow.

Yeah. I whipped that butter myself.

Oh, amazing.

It'll be totally fine. Yeah.

No prob.

It's all good. Yeah. It's all good. Yeah, I'm sure. And if I see Renee, I'll

call you straight away, dude.

Thanks, man.

Yeah. You're the best, bro. I mean that.

Life will pummel us with the same issue until we deal with the root cause.

It's like acid reflux or gout.

Hey, Kit Kat.

You're home from school early.

Yeah, I just didn't feel like it.

You know you're gonna have to tell me at some point. You can't get mad, okay?

Okay, sure.

I kind of got suspended.

Okay.

I mean, that's not like you.

Why? I pretended to be this guy's girlfriend for money. And then the

school found out and... You did what?

We didn't do anything. I was just helping him look cooler in front of his

friends. I got paid for it. It was totally transactional. Just like you and

Harry.

What do you mean, just like you and Harry?

You guys made a deal. Oh, my God, Sheena. Those two things are completely

different. How is that different?

We are adults. We made an adult decision.

Also, we did it for stability. We did it for you. That's the crazy part. Oh, my

God. I'm so sorry.

This is not your fault. This is my fault. I'll talk to Harry, and we'll fix

it. Dad, stop trying to fix everything.

It's broken, okay?

And I like Harry. At least she's around.

It's not like mum's around. It's not like mum cares about anyone except for

herself. Hey, don't say that. That's not true. Okay, I don't want to talk about

it anymore. Can you please get out?

Thanks.

Dad, now, please. Okay, okay. Being a good dad can be hard.

Being a shitty one can be remarkably easy. I don't even know what you mean.

No, no.

How's your mother?

Whether you call her or not.

You know what she's like.

That woman holds a grudge.

Can't imagine why.

Could it be that you cheated on her a million times, let her go to Thailand,

didn't pay child support?

Any of those? Did they ring a bell? Yeah. But the wages in Thailand were

pretty shitty.

Oh, the wages.

Yeah. Um, so how's, um, Indiana?

Georgia. Shit, yeah, I knew it was one of the states.

Yeah, we broke up. Oh, no.

What a surprise.

Been a shame. Not really.

She wanted to go to Glastonbury.

Camping's the best in my bag.

Right. Yeah, well, you remember what we were like at 25.

Oh, no, you don't, because you weren't there.

If you hadn't been such a Debbie Downer, maybe I would have hung around a little

bit longer.

Oh,

um, sorry.

Dad, we have to... Oh, bullshit, bullshit.

Well, it's not every day your youngest daughter gets married. We are

celebrating.

Anyway, it's the least you can do for not inviting me to your wedding.

Um... Yeah, okay.

One. One more. One more. And then I have to go, because I told Sal that I'd...

Sal, is it? The ball and chain?

I tell you what, I'll come with you.

I'd like to meet this man that stole your frosty little heart. No, no, no,

no. That's not happening. We need to go.

Sorry, are you not going to meet him? Don't be such a buzzkill like her. Come

on. Just because she married the aggressively average bland cam.

What? Dad.

What? That's what you call him.

Yeah, like in private. I've had about enough of this.

And you, you haven't even asked one question about Ruby. Not one.

Who the fuck's Ruby? Your granddaughter.

You're a grandfather and you're too old to be a sloppy drunk. Get it together.

Stop dating 20-year-olds.

You've got a problem, Dad.

What kind of a name is Ruby?

What kind of a name is Stevie?

Honestly,

I'm going. What? And Cam, not bland. He had a speech impediment when he was

younger and he just is an introvert. I didn't... Fuck off, Harriet.

I can't believe... Families have a way of fighting that is painful but deeply

familiar.

These patterns keep playing out until we grow.

Vanessa, hey, hey, I was... Or die.

I was joking about Cam, okay? It's not about Cam, it's about this family. It's

about the fact that I'm always the responsible one and you get to do

whatever the fuck you want. And I'm supposed to pick up the pieces.

My God, no one asked you to do that, Vanessa.

And I just want you to be happy and Cam doesn't make you happy, okay? You're

just stuck together because the morning after bill didn't work.

Don't. It's true.

I'm in an actual marriage. And yeah, we're not happy all the time, but life

isn't about being happy all the time.

Yeah, well, you're living proof of that, aren't you, mate?

You're too old to be acting like a child. And you're too young to be this

fucking lame.

Okay? It's depressing.

What's depressing you?

Day drinking on a Monday with that narcissist.

Okay, thanks, Dr. Phil.

Cool. Yeah.

I actually think you're just shitty because Dad likes me better.

You don't even deserve a man like Phil. You don't deserve it.

We fuck off then. Well.

Change requires looking at the reasons you push good people away and let toxic

ones in. Good girl. But that's hard when you're still seeking the approval of the

wrong person.

Mary of Teck was the queen consort of which British monarch?

Henry VIII.

George V. Correct. Which tennis grand slam is played on time? AP Classic.

The French Open. Correct.

Meanwhile, Sal can't seem to get a hold of either of his wives.

This is, in its own way, quite depressing.

Vanessa doesn't get it, you know?

It's like she's jealous or something. She's followed all the rules, and then

now what?

She hates Cam. I think she hates all men, but she's like a masochist or

something. I dated a masochist once.

Talk about possessive.

Is that the husband?

Keeps you on a tight leash, doesn't he?

It's not like that, okay? Shut up. I do what I want.

Yeah, but he owes you now, doesn't he?

Oldest trick in the book.

Okay.

Listen, we have an arrangement, okay? It's not a real marriage, okay? It's not

like that. We kind of did it for money, and we're sort of gaming the system.

Oh, well, this I like.

Only you've got to be careful who you get into bed with.

Married men.

Next thing you know, you'll be talking about having kids and a dog, and your

life's really fucked.

You'll be gassing yourself in the garage like your great-grandmother.

Your wife did take after her.

Can I crash at yours tonight?

What?

Yes, but... That was quite good.

Got to take your shoes off.

You have to take your shoes off.

Take them off.

No!

Where have you been? I've been out.

What are you still doing awake?

I was asleep. You actually woke me up.

Sorry, Captain.

Hey,

this is Stevie.

He won't like it if you call him.

This is your dad.

Fuck me, he's gorgeous.

Wow. Looks like we've got the same type. My dad is... Dad made it weird. I don't

know yet. I'm just kidding. I just guess Harrison's self.

This is... Mm-hmm. No. Okay.

I've rested off.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah. Sheena came home and, um... Hey.

Is it okay if we date for a couple of days?

A night?

Maybe one to three business days and then we will stay out of your hair. I

think you promise Yeah Come on. Come on. It's like it's like a dad to me.

Yeah, he's your dad. He is my dad You get it. See?

Yeah, she's gonna be a buzzkill be a cool guy I

forgot about dinner.

I'm so sorry.

I forgot. I forgot.

I'm so sorry Okay, i'm gonna eat it

Boy, you are still under that whip. Hey, you should drink some water.

Hey, guys, can you keep it down, please? Yeah,

Stevie, because it's not like that, okay? Sal and I, cool, we do what we

want. No feelings asked, right?

Come and drink with us. Have a drink. I don't want to. Come on, have a drink.

Hey, hey, hey.

Come on. Maybe you should sleep this off. Should we go to bed?

No, don't be boring, man.

I don't want to do that. You're not my wife. You don't own me, okay? I don't...

You know what?

I don't want a dog.

And I don't like spreadsheets, Mr.

Manosphere. What are you talking about? I am talking about staying up because of

feminism and not being lame like some people.

Okay. That's all good.

You do what you want. I will do what I want.

I'll do that. Great.

Awesome. I'm going to bed.

Because I'm an independent woman. Nobody wants to fuck a spreadsheet.

There

are

hangovers and there are vulnerability hangovers.

Both are terrible.

Both make you want to crawl into a hole and die.

Where's Sal?

I think he left at sunrise.

Bloody Mary. My head.

I have a job interview today.

That's pretty fucked, isn't it?

Where's the job these days?

It's the gig economy for fuck's sake.

No. Oh, my God.

No, my haunted mug.

I don't want one, Stevie.

I've got the painters in, eh?

Oh, well, more for me.

Harry once gave Stevie a world's best dad mug.

Wake up, baby.

Hi, I just picked Sheena up. She's at my house. Where have you been?

I know, I just, I needed a minute.

Did you have any idea what she was up to?

No, I had no idea at all.

Can I make you a tea?

I think we need something stronger.

Oh, okay, yeah.

And I see you went to London before that. Yeah, I moved home just before the

pandemic, but I'm so ready for the step up in my career. I feel like...

I'm so sorry.

What was I... Is everything okay?

Yeah. No.

It's fine. What I meant was that I'm so ready for the step up in my career and

obviously writing for an international publication such as yours.

I'm sorry. Do you need to go?

I'm so sorry. I do. Sorry.

One second. I'll be back. I'm so sorry.

Dad, are you okay?

What are you... Oh, my God. You should see your face.

I am in the middle of a job interview.

Fuck that.

You're not a nine-to-five kind of girl. Come on. I'm really bored. Let's go

somewhere. No. I'm busy. I have a life.

No. I'm busy.

I have a life. I'm pregnant.

God, you sound like your sister.

Kill me now. Okay.

Sleep it off. Yeah? I have to go.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Just take it easy. I was going to put it back.

Sell dead.

gave us this money for our wedding.

Yeah, I can see that's why you married him. Good call.

Is that why you're here?

Because you need money?

No.

Well, you could spot me a couple of grand, couldn't you? You owe me.

From when?

You know, that trip thing you went on in the bush.

Are you talking about my school camp?

Yeah. Okay.

You never paid me back.

Get out. Get out now.

She's got up your ass. You can't just do this anymore.

You're my dad, not my useless mate. I am an adult, okay? I have boundaries. This

is my house.

His house, you mean?

You think you've changed, hmm? You think you're all smart and sorted and rich.

You're playing wifey, but it's just bullshit.

You're a fuck-up sweetheart.

Like your dad.

You're doomed.

Feed myself out.

God, she's such a smart kid. What was she thinking?

I feel like my only job as a dad is to make sure that our daughter doesn't

become a hooker. Oh, my God, don't say that. It is you.

Where did you get the idea of the fake relationships from? It's insane. I think

it's my fault.

It's not your fault.

It would have been on TikTok or something. No, it is me.

Listen, Harry and I aren't actually married.

I mean, we are married, but...

We got married because of a pact we made in high school, not because we're in

love. Oh, my God. Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I'm sorry I didn't say something sooner.

Are you okay?

Matt and I are splitting up.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, shit. That's so sad.

You're not sorry.

I'm a little bit sorry, but mostly not sorry. I'm the human embodiment of

sorry, not sorry. Okay.

He's just so... Nice?

Like all the time. Too nice.

Yeah, it's like being married to a motivational speaker.

Oh, the worst.

I like my dreams to be crushed on a daily basis. It's too much.

Is it?

We're just not the right fit.

I think I made a mistake.

You guys will be fine. You'll figure it out. I meant with you.

History has this annoying habit of repeating, which should make the future

really predictable.

But that's just not how it works.

The past is a bitch.

It can hurt.

But in the words of Rafiki...

You can either run from it or learn from it.

No, I know, but it took me a long time to get over you, Renee.

And now what?

What do you want?

I just want you to give me a second chance.

Look, we belong together.

We get the chance to do it properly and grow it up.

Gina deserves that.

You deserve that.

And Harry, she isn't right for you.

She's chaos.

Is that really what you want in your life?

In our daughter's life?

All marriages take work.

But nobody tells you what the work actually is.

For that part, you're on your own.

I'd like to meet him on a corner if I

can.