Original subtitles

Eun Chae-ni, 27 years old.

A trainwreck of a personality

and a pretty shallow education.

Landing a job is next to impossible…

and to top it all off…

How about another surgery?

Wouldn't that work?

The thing is,

your congestive heart failure is too advanced.

Your body wouldn't be able to handle it.

So I'm…

really going to die?

A heart that could fail at any moment.

Those who do not believe in God will be marked by the beast!

And those marked by the beast will go to hell!

Be saved, everyone!

A life with no escape

that won't change

and has an all too predictable end.

Be saved.

Find salvation.

Find salvation through eternal life.

Don't you wish to be saved?

The apocalypse will happen on December 31, 1999.

By "the apocalypse,"

do you mean the world will end?

That's right.

But don't you worry.

The blessed will be granted eternal life.

Couldn't it be granted before Judgment Day?

Sorry?

What about the people who croak before the apocalypse?

Can't those people be saved in advance?

What, you don't take reservations?

Or maybe move the apocalypse up a little!

Well, there's nothing we can do about God's will.

What about me, then?

Those who shall be saved…

I want to see the world ending too!

Don't you think it's a raw deal for me to die without seeing that?

How would I ever rest in peace?

Well?

Have a blessed day.

What, am I asking for too much?

It's not like I'm asking to live forever!

I just want to live long enough to see it! The end of the world!

I want to see it too!

Show me! I want to see it! Let me see it!

I want to see it!

Let me…

I want to see the entire world…

go up in flames.

How come

I'm not even allowed that?

That's the least I could ask for.

Did you eat a Jaws bar too?

Yeah.

I have now.

Don't cry. Hush.

What if I give you this instead?

Jin-seo!

What are you doing here?

Are you okay? Mommy has been looking for you.

She's the official trainwreck of Haeseong.

Hey misters, may you live long, healthy lives.

She's the granddaughter of the Hearty House owner and a total nutter.

Live long lives, okay?

Best stay away from her, Un-jeong.

-She bites. -Lucky you, getting to see the apocalypse.

Let's get a move on, people.

-Let's get going. -How fun!

I swear, this sort of crap is…

What's the point of all this, anyway?

Just go on vacation, everyone! Go travel!

WARNING THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY

TRESPASSING, LITTERING, AND OTHER ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES ARE PROHIBITED

What's this?

Why, this is perfectly fine.

Do folks have money to burn?

Man, this is really buried deep.

Is someone pulling the darn thing?

What's this?

THE WONDERFOOLS

EPISODE 1 EVERY LIFE COMES WITH A SURPRISE TWIST

I'm pretty sure they're serial murders.

Two weeks ago, Park Yong-sik here disappeared, and I can't reach him.

Then last week, Kim Bong-pal also vanished out of the blue.

Maybe you should stop fighting.

No one likes a guy who picks fights while drunk. I'd cut ties with you too.

I owe Kim Bong-pal 5,000 won.

He'd never cut ties without getting his money!

Unless he's dead.

Then why don't you file an official police report?

As if the police would ever listen to me!

Don't you folks say you listen to the people?

Oh, for God's sake. Where do I--

It's written in the law.

"Article 7, Clause 1. Civil servants are obliged to serve all citizens…"

Hey, this one.

-This is Kim Na-yeong. -Stop faking a call.

-Where are you going? -I don't have a computer.

No, I can't do this. This is bad. Real bad. Where is he?

Mr. Lee Un-jeong!

This way!

Over here. Right here.

Yes, sir?

Come here.

Right.

You should go. We'll look into it for you.

Why, that…

Oh dear, sorry.

-I'll do it. -That's okay.

Isn't it about time for your rite of passage?

He's a regular at our complaints office.

Are you accusing me of lying?

The carp really was as tall as I am sitting down.

I have a long torso, so seated, I'm at least 120 centimeters tall!

It was clearly genetically modified!

Someone's been dumping phenol into the water!

You know V, right? The show about aliens who eat rats!

It blinked its eyelids sideways, just like the aliens on that show!

I'm telling you, it's phenol.

Why won't you take my word for it and go there for an inspection?

Either there's a corpse rotting somewhere in that reservoir,

or it's phenol!

Just go out there and check!

You have to deal with him

to become a true complaint troubleshooter.

Oddly enough, my stomach's acting up, so I need the bathroom.

But, sir…

Look at this, will you?

It's a total garbage dump, you know? You see that?

-Now-- -One moment, sir.

Yes, here.

Our records show that we already did an inspection

and installed signs prohibiting illegal dumping.

This thing?

This isn't enough!

Who'd be afraid of a measly sign that has no legal effect?

-Look. -One moment, sir.

This land is private property, so there really isn't anything we can…

Without the owner's consent, our hands are pretty much tied, sir.

Do my words carry no weight

because I grab a ticket and patiently wait my turn to see you?

Mr. Lee Un-jeong? Okay.

Should I just go straight to Manager Kim and get you into trouble?

Or should I go upstairs right now and take this up with Director Lee?

Well?

Unbelievable.

Honestly!

At Haeseong City Hall,

we have eleven Manager Kims and four Director Lees.

Which one would you like to speak to, sir?

What's that?

Why, you're one hell of an oddball, aren't you?

Next, please!

"Next, please"?

You should watch out.

From here, this looks like a quiet and peaceful rural town, doesn't it?

But it isn't.

If you take a closer look,

there's no place more troubled than this.

People keep disappearing.

Just like 20 years ago.

Last time,

dozens of people, children and adults alike, went missing.

You'd better be careful.

I figured you wouldn't know, since you're not from around here.

Yes, sir.

I saw it all.

What happened 20 years ago.

Be saved, sir.

Don't you people have something better to do? You're such a pain!

Go away!

I said go away!

What is this?

What are you trying to pull?

Believe,

and you shall be saved.

Send me on a trip.

Oh, for crying out loud.

I said I'm going on a trip.

Give me some money!

No.

-Why not? -Do you really have to ask?

What, are you gonna take your cash to the afterlife?

You donate hundreds of millions to others, so why won't you donate to me?

That'd be a waste of money, not a donation.

Money is only money when you know how to spend it. Otherwise, it's poison.

We won't know until I've tried spending, so just give me some!

Let me at least splurge before I die.

Don't you know that death talk is forbidden in our house?

What is it? Did the doctor say something?

I just mean, what do I have to live for?

I can't go anywhere or do whatever I want!

If you're so unhappy, then you be my grandma.

Unless you want your pay docked, cut the crap and go peel some onions.

And don't forget to take your meds on time, okay?

Do you even know how hard it is to be your granddaughter?

I don't know about that, but I bet being your grandma is even harder.

As expected, Grandma won't give me any money.

KILIMANJARO AURORA

Okay, let's do it.

I'm gonna visit at least one place before I die.

Going somewhere?

Yeah, I am. On a trip.

-Your grandma let you? -Do you think she would?

But what about money?

You'll lend me some.

Right… What?

I can't. I don't have any.

What? Why don't you have any money?

My roof kept leaking.

I had to cash out my savings to fix it.

You're a tenant. Shouldn't your landlord deal with repairs?

He said he'd fix it next month.

Then you should've waited a month. Why would you pay? Are you stupid?

Hey, have you ever had to use an umbrella inside your own home?

You sure live up to your name, Sappiest Sap of Haeseong.

Anyway, I'm broke.

Anyway, I'm going on a trip.

How exactly?

I see. You have some assets since you're an heiress and all?

You really are clueless, aren't you?

You have to inherit something to be an heiress.

-But-- -Who's out there? Eunie?

Did you take your meds?

Which one of us do you think will live longer?

Take your darn meds!

I already did!

I bet she'll live to 120.

See ya, Sap.

Hey!

How are you gonna travel without any money?

Don't worry.

This is top secret,

but tomorrow, I'm due to be 50 million won richer.

So when will it be dealt with?

You know how civil servants are.

A bunch of slowpokes.

I'll try to handle things myself as swiftly as possible.

But more importantly…

about my mom's 70th birthday trip.

You know we get westerlies in the summer, right?

Just thinking about how much I suffered

because of the stench since we had that heavy rain…

-Sales have plummeted too. -Right.

Who'd want to come to a flower shop that stinks of rot?

Right, I'll get it dealt with quickly.

Well, once that's done, my mom's 70th birthday trip…

Why do you keep bringing that up?

I thought we were done talking about it.

You only turn 70 once in your life.

She's never been on a plane before.

Just take her to the Hawaii resort in Bugok.

The good son act is over in a flash,

but credit card debt lasts a lifetime.

Still--

Yikes, a bug!

Why won't it get off? Why?

Go away! Get off! Oh, I'm so sick of you!

Die, damn it! Die!

Die!

Everything's ready. Enjoy lunch, Ms. Moon Mi-hui.

It looks pretty dead…

HAESEONG GIRLS' MIDDLE SCHOOL

Seo-yeong, here.

Hey, I'm here. Over here!

Hello?

Hi, Mom. Yeah.

Yes.

Yes, just wait a little longer. You said it's three months away.

Cheong!

Okay, Mom.

Yes.

Oh, of course.

I'll send you to Hawaii.

Don't you worry.

You know how capable your son is--

Goodness, these shoes…

Mom?

I gotta go. I'll call you later.

Bye.

-Bo-ra, let's go together. -Sure.

-Want to go get tteokbokki? -That sounds great.

-Okay! -Should we skip cram school?

Sweet, sounds good!

Let's go.

My shoes are soaked.

Wow, 50 million won.

I'm so jealous.

There's nothing to steal. Why lock the door?

It's to keep things out.

Like bugs, cats…

Especially you.

Hey, why'd you shut the door in my face?

Oh no!

Hey, there.

Didn't you say you got it fixed?

I did.

I paid a lot of money for it too.

Are you laughing or crying?

Chae-ni, are you going somewhere?

And your grandma actually let you?

Well, Chae-ni, you sure are lucky.

-What's gotten into the Hearty House lady? -Exactly.

Chae-ni, aren't you lucky? Have a great trip!

-Is Chae-ni going somewhere? -I think she's traveling.

Always best to travel while your knees are still good!

What?

What the heck?

Damn it.

It's Mr. Kim's.

Where did he go without his cart?

I'll bring it back soon.

Isn't this Mr. Kim Bong-pal's cart?

Who are you?

Are you the new supermarket manager?

Fine, take it.

Take it. It's all yours.

I'm pretty sure they're serial murders.

She's the official trainwreck of Haeseong.

Best stay away from her.

You'd better be careful.

People keep disappearing.

What are you doing?

That's a pretty big suitcase.

What's it to you?

Where is Mr. Kim Bong-pal?

How would I know?

May I check your suitcase?

What do you have in here?

Whatever I wanted to put in there! What do you want with my suitcase?

What the…

What the heck?

Let go!

I'll…

I think there's been a--

Hello?

Being out in the rain won't do you any good.

Where'd you go?

I just

had to take care of something.

Take care of what?

What could you possibly have to take care of in the rain?

Where are you?

Hey, say…

Hello?

Hello?

-Hello? -Grandma, hold on.

Your contact info.

JUNIOR OFFICIAL LEE UN-JEONG

Haeseong City Hall Complaints?

Haeseong City Hall Complaints?

Why? Did someone file a complaint against you?

What did you do this time?

My lawyer will be in touch, so hang tight.

Dry cleaning money won't cut it.

Okay.

Goodbye, then.

It's nothing, Grandma. But why'd you call?

Why do you think?

What if you catch a cold? Hurry home.

I told you not to go out when the weather changes.

Grandma.

Can't you just let me go on a trip?

There you go again with that nonsense.

How could you travel in your condition?

Is living a long life all that you want for me?

Incapable of doing anything, just wasting away?

Doesn't it frustrate you to see me like this?

Aren't you embarrassed to face the neighbors?

I'm not.

Why would I be embarrassed?

I'm just waiting.

What, you think you were healthy as a kid?

But still,

you were ever so kind,

well-mannered,

and always gave your best.

You were such a darling.

You weren't good at anything, but you were still such a darling.

Because you powered through and lived on.

I'm waiting for the day when that darling Eun Chae-ni hiding deep inside of you

crawls her way out.

Well, don't.

She died a long time ago.

Eunie, you really…

I told you not to talk about dying.

I told you that's off-limits in this house!

The thing is, Grandma,

I really am going to die.

But I never imagined I'd die like this.

Without you by my side and in front of these guys, no less.

Now, this is a plot twist.

So you wasted two million on waterproof paint for the roof?

Shame on you.

I knew you weren't just any old sap.

You deserve to be called the sappiest of all saps.

I wish money would just fall from the sky--

If only there were cash lying around.

Why's it taking so long to boil?

Nothing in life goes my goddamn way.

Yet some people are going on vacation with 50 million.

Who is?

Who has 50 million to blow on a vacation?

Who else would I know who has that much money?

There's no way the Hearty House owner would travel.

Her granddaughter? Eun Chae-ni, Lady Trainwreck?

Begone!

Did you just call me a trainwreck?

Yeah. What's wrong with calling a trainwreck a trainwreck?

Touché.

You're right, Mr. Royal Nightmare.

What, Nightmare?

Watch what you call your elders, you brat.

What's wrong with calling a nightmare a nightmare?

-Why, you little brat-- -Stop.

Come on, Chae-ni.

Mr. Son, you too. Easy with that stink eye.

Stay out of this, Sappy Sap of Haeseong.

Yeah, butt out, Sappy Sap.

Hey, I asked you not to call me that.

It makes me feel left out.

You guys are the only ones who get cool nicknames.

Can't you give me a cool nickname like "King Sap"?

King Sap sounds like a pretty powerful sap, at least.

You think anyone can be a royal?

Of course not.

You need to build up a bad rep for years, constantly pick fights,

and have the tenacity and perseverance

to not give a hoot about others in order to be crowned a royal.

Give me a break.

I'd expect no less from Haeseong's Royal Nightmare.

Someone's brimming with pride.

I heard you were going on a 50-million-won trip,

but I guess you sent your manners on the road early.

Did your manners take your sense of respect with them?

Too bad. Will you even be able to go?

How could you leave Haeseong when everyone knows your grandma?

Man, I almost want to rat you out.

That's why

the Royal Nightmare and Sappy Sap

need to help me.

You think I'd help a kid who calls her elder a "nightmare"?

I'll compensate you generously. Five million each.

What should we do first, m'lady?

First, I should bring in my luggage.

Please, leave it to me, your humble servant.

We're already on it, ma'am.

What did I possibly do that was so wrong?

Where did it all go south?

I forgot that the world is disgustingly unfair.

Right. They say worrying about an heiress is the greatest waste of time.

Did I dig my own grave?

The people downstairs complained about the noise again.

What are you up to every night?

Didn't you say you lived alone?

Why are you thumping away every night by yourself?

I'm sorry. I'll be more careful.

I told you it's an old building with thin walls.

Please be more mindful.

ILLEGAL DUMPING IN HAEDEUL-RI HILL

COMPLAINT REPORT

Yes?

I told you I'd be the one to contact you.

You don't have to keep checking up on me.

It's being dealt with.

NUMBER 2415 STATUS: DORMANT

HA WON-DO

CHOI YEONG-JUN

DR. HA WON-DO WINS GERMANY'S SCIENTIST OF THE YEAR AWARD

CLAIMED TO SAVE HUMANITY, ONLY LEFT SCARS

EXPLOSION AT ORPHANAGE

POLITICIAN CONDEMNS DR. HA

IMMORAL BIOLOGICAL EXPERIMENTS

THE SWEET HOME WELFARE CENTER TRAGEDY

UNVEILING THE HORRIFYING TRUTH HAWONDO LAB'S SECURITY GUARD TELLS ALL

APOCALYPSE ON DECEMBER 31ST SEEK SALVATION

CHURCH OF ETERNAL SALVATION

13 HAEDEUL-RI, HAEJEON-EUP, HAESEONG-SI

What…

What's that?

Kim Bong-pal?

In what ways

can money change a person,

and how far can it transform them?

Grandma.

If you just pay them,

I think this'll all be over soon.

All they want

is five big ones.

Five.

If you just pay them…

Is it really okay for us to do this?

Do I look like I'm enjoying this? Aren't you tired of being called a sap?

Just shut it, and let's get this over with.

Hey.

Oh no.

Hey…

It's beating too fast.

Why did you do that?

I

really wanted to climb Kilimanjaro.

Or at least see the northern lights.

Grandma…

Hey, I think we can do better. Let's do one more take.

Okay, three, two…

Action.

Chae-ni.

Chae-ni?

What's wrong with her?

Chae-ni.

Delete that.

What? Why?

Delete it.

What is it?

What's wrong with Chae-ni?

And what's wrong with you?

Chae-ni…

is dead.

INCOMING CALL

At 9:27 p.m. on a certain day and month in 1999,

ridiculous as it is,

I really

died just like this.

She better not be off somewhere causing trouble again.

Thanks to you, Eunie, my life is so full of thrills.

PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR, GU JUN-MO

COLD CASES

URBAN LEGENDS OF HAESEONG

Yes, this is Gu Jun-mo.

Hey, Jun-mo. I need you to do me a favor.

What is it?

Is Eun Chae-ni not answering again?

Since you know, I'll just get to it. Go ahead and track her.

Why bother paying for that again? She'll come home when it's time.

Tell me about it.

You could have done it for free if you were still a cop.

Why quit and make me pay?

I'll look into it right away, ma'am.

Chae-ni, I'm sorry. It's all my fault.

Don't die. Please don't die.

I can't believe this.

How is this possible?

We didn't even lay a finger on her, so how could she just die?

Who's going to believe this?

And on top of that,

we're her kidnappers right now.

Mr. Son, what are you doing? I told you to call an ambulance!

It's too late.

Just call them already. At this rate, we'll really lose Chae-ni!

She's already dead!

Her pupils are…

Her pupils are dilated.

Poor Chae-ni.

What about her poor grandma?

And what about us?

-For now, we hide her. -What?

One wrong move, and we'll both be charged with kidnapping and murder.

Still, that doesn't seem right.

If we just

explain that she died because of us--

And who would believe that

when the mastermind up and died?

Then what do we do now?

That's why I'm saying we dump her.

No, I mean…

Chae-ni isn't trash! How could we just dump her?

Chae-ni is my friend!

No, I don't mean dump her. I meant that we should hide her.

We'll just lay her to rest temporarily.

Why…

Chae-ni.

Please close your eyes.

Holy smokes, I'm so scared.

Please just close your eyes.

Chae-ni, I'm sorry. Close your eyes…

I'm so scared.

I'm freaking out!

That's right.

The one who orchestrated this kidnapping that hastened my death

was me, Eun Chae-ni.

You guys are so frustrating, seriously.

You both wear masks, and one of you films while the other appears on camera with me.

That's all you have to do. What's the fuss?

That was the 50 million won

you said you'd be getting?

Oh, come on!

I'll receive the money and give you your shares.

There's no way we'll get caught.

Don't you know I'm smart?

If you can't trust me,

trust my brain.

Isn't it unfair if you get 50 million, and we only get 5 million won apiece?

Then count yourself out.

Do you want to film or should I?

Seriously?

I'd feel so guilty toward your grandma.

How could we stab her in the back like this?

Why don't you think it through again?

I'm sure you've built up more than just debt against Grandma.

Think about it.

All those years of Grandma's bullying.

But why now? Why do you suddenly want to go on a trip?

Just because.

If I don't go now, I don't think I'll ever get to go.

That's true. You'd never earn enough peeling onions.

But still, isn't this a little too…

I'm worried about both your heart and your grandma.

I left her a letter. She'll understand once she reads it.

Just help me out, will you?

I'm really excited right now.

I haven't felt this alive in a long time.

Are you sure you're not just pretending to push?

This is me pushing with all my strength.

So,

where are we gonna dump her?

We're not dumping her. This is temporary! Temporarily laying her to rest.

Exactly. Where are we gonna dump Chae-ni…

Chae-ni.

Mr. Son, Chae-ni won't close her eyes.

We're here.

This is it.

People rarely come here,

and there are no cameras.

A place the authorities will never look,

abandoned even by its landowner.

A land of tragedy.

Mr. Son, are you sure we really have to go this far?

Just until we come up with alibis, okay?

Chae-ni will understand.

She wouldn't like it if we were blamed for something she planned.

Got it?

Let's go.

Be gentle.

Let's switch.

Lift her.

Careful on the way down.

Okay.

All right.

One, two…

Excuse me.

Mr. Son Gyeong-hun?

Yes.

What are you doing here?

You raise daily complaints about dumping on these grounds,

then dump trash here yourself?

The oddball from City Hall?

Why are you here?

Because someone grumbled that we weren't doing inspections.

You said it'd be no use even if you did.

That you were stuck without the landowner. Oh, whatever. Just go.

I'm withdrawing my complaint. Withdrawn.

What's that…

behind you?

What…

What

is that?

A mannequin.

You expect me to believe that?

We didn't kill her!

The two of you…

Were you trying to dispose of a dead body?

Dispose of a body? No, that's not…

We…

You see, we…

At first, we were just pretending to kidnap her--

A kidnapping and murder?

No, we didn't!

I swear we didn't even touch her.

She just died on her own.

Chae-ni!

Do you think we wanted to do this?

She's our neighbor!

We even know the old lady who runs Hearty House.

Do you really think we wanted to do this?

By Hearty House, do you mean…

You mean that so-called trainwreck, right?

Yes.

Chae-ni!

Chae-ni!

Chae-ni! Chae…

Chae-ni?

Chae-ni, where did she go?

-Mr. Son, where'd she go? -Where is she?

Where is she? She was right here.

-Chae-ni. Where? -Go check over there.

-Chae-ni. -Chae-ni!

Chae-ni!

-Chae-ni! -Chae-ni?

-Chae-ni. -Chae-ni!

Chae-ni.

What's going on here? Do you have another accomplice?

-No! -No!

Then where did the body go? What did you do with it?

Is there someone else?

No, there isn't!

We really didn't do it.

But given the circumstances, anyone would think that we did it,

so we were just going to leave her here temporarily.

If you don't tell me, I'm calling the cops.

-Sir, please. -Where's your accomplice?

I'll do it.

Mr. Oddball! Just a second.

Just hear me out for a…

Mr. Oddball!

Let go!

No, please.

Let go!

-Let go of me! -Mr. Oddball, sir.

Sir Oddball, please!

You can't call the cops!

She really did die on her own.

But if you report it as a kidnapping and murder,

we'll definitely be charged

as the culprits!

Hello?

Hello? Did I just hear you say a kidnapping and murder?

No!

That's not it!

We're innocent!

This is 112. We traced your number due to the urgency.

Where are you right now, sir? Are you safe?

Is this Mr. Lee Un-jeong?

What's the situation right now?

A squad car has been dispatched, so please hang in there.

A car has been dispatched!

We're done for!

Oh no!

No!

HEARTY HOUSE

-Get out of there. -I can't.

-Hey, just a moment. -What's your name?

Don't come closer.

I need your name, sir.

-Get over here. -Seriously?

Just stay right here, then.

God, it stinks.

Wait, time out!

-Mr. Lee Un-jeong, you called it in? -Yes.

I told you I didn't do it.

I witnessed those two men trying to dispose of a woman's dead body.

So where's the body?

I think their accomplice hid it while they distracted me.

It disappeared.

And the victim was Ms. Eun Chae-ni of Hearty House?

Yes.

I believe so.

Are you talking about that woman over there?

Yes, that's right.

Isn't that Chae-ni?

I…

That woman…

was definitely dead.

Let go!

Subtitle translation by: Jimin Choi