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1
00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:07,606
Will, I'm ready. You said you'd teach me
one of your basketball tricks.
2
00:00:07,974 --> 00:00:11,375
Oh, well, you know,
my moves are kind of like top secret, Nick.
3
00:00:11,544 --> 00:00:15,412
I mean, I could show you,
but then I'd have to kill you.
4
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,782
Okay.
5
00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:20,715
Well, maybe I'll make an exception
this one time, all right?
6
00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:22,514
All right. Come on. D me up, D me up.
7
00:00:25,458 --> 00:00:26,550
All right, check it out.
8
00:00:26,726 --> 00:00:29,718
Now, this is called the Will Smith
Hoop Dream, Dunk on Hakeem...
9
00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:33,696
...Down the Lane, House of Pain pass.
I see you wasn't ready for that one.
10
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,665
Back in Philly, they used to call me
Will "The 747" Smith.
11
00:00:37,303 --> 00:00:38,327
- Wanna know why?
- Why?
12
00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:45,201
Because I'm about to jet.
13
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:07,855
This weekend? Oh, I'd love to, Thad,
but I'm gonna lay low.
14
00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:11,224
Oh, no, it's nothing serious, just the flu.
15
00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:15,289
Oh, that's so sweet. Okay, bye.
16
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,770
Thad? I thought you were dating Kyle.
17
00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:20,769
I am. He's the flu.
18
00:02:21,674 --> 00:02:24,507
- Go, girl.
- You see what I'm saying?
19
00:02:24,677 --> 00:02:26,907
It sounds like it's raining men.
20
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,770
I hope y'all are taking notes.
21
00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:32,645
Hey, hey, hey, stop being all freaky.
22
00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:36,855
Hi, Will. What you doing?
23
00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:39,548
Five to ten
if you don't take your hands off me.
24
00:02:43,963 --> 00:02:46,727
Hill, what you think?
You did a pretty good show today, huh?
25
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:50,267
Three words: Stink. Stank. Stunk.
26
00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:52,370
It was the worst show
we have ever done.
27
00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:53,665
We need better guests.
28
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:58,209
Wait, wait. Don't be getting all mad at me.
I'm just the assistant talent coordinator.
29
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:01,779
If I had some more responsibility,
maybe we'd have some better guests.
30
00:03:01,948 --> 00:03:04,007
Then get me someone great
for tomorrow's show.
31
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,017
And if it were my responsibility,
then I'd do it.
32
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,018
Okay, I'm telling you to do it.
33
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:12,818
All right, and if I thought you meant it,
then I'd get it done.
34
00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:16,385
That's right,
my baby can definitely get it done.
35
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,760
Don't make me turn the hose on you,
all right?
36
00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:26,336
Will, I need more stimulating guests. I need
someone who can hold my attention...
37
00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:29,441
...for more than three seconds.
- All right. How about we get...?
38
00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:31,338
I gotta go.
39
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,942
Hey. Uncle Phil, what's going on, man?
40
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:42,815
Would you like to buy a vowel?
41
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:49,355
You know, this trial is gonna be the death
of me. We lost another juror today.
42
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:52,430
Oh, really?
Hey, did you check under your robe?
43
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,802
I can see you're not in the mood for that
right now.
44
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:02,373
Here. Come on. Right here. Right here.
So come on, man. What happened?
45
00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:03,668
He was writing a book.
46
00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:07,472
The bailiff found him hiding
in the men's room with his laptop.
47
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:11,912
You sure he wasn't just
downloading his floppy?
48
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,816
- Can you hear me? Can you hear me?
- Ha-ha-ha!
49
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,514
Shut up. Can you hear me?
50
00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:24,224
Hi, I'm Carlton Banks,
and I joined Great Introductions...
51
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:28,561
...to give you red-hot mamas a chance
to take a walk on the wild side.
52
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,066
So climb on board.
53
00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:35,803
Hm. A tad forward.
54
00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:41,479
I am tan, I am a tourist...
55
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:47,280
...and I'd love to give a lucky mademoiselle
like you a chance to meet moi.
56
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,654
That felt close.
57
00:04:55,194 --> 00:04:56,491
Do you guys mind?
58
00:04:57,030 --> 00:05:00,158
What is your problem, Pepe Le Puny?
59
00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:03,834
Hardy har har.
60
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:05,664
And in a related story...
61
00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:09,740
... Judge Philip Banks has dismissed yet
another juror in the Show-Biz Madam Case.
62
00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:14,005
As cameras are not allowed in his courtroom
we have an artist's rendering of his action.
63
00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:19,117
Specific details are not yet available
as to why the juror was dismissed.
64
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:21,286
Wait, I know that guy.
65
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:24,855
Of course you do.
That's my Dad, you half-life.
66
00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:28,188
- Not him, the other dude.
- Oh, what, you knew him?
67
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:29,794
He's my barber.
68
00:05:29,962 --> 00:05:33,261
The dude that cut that jack-o'- lantern
in your head last Halloween?
69
00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:34,926
That's the guy.
70
00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:38,434
It'd have been great if that candle
hadn't burned the roof of my mouth.
71
00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:44,400
Jazz, do you think he'd do Hilary?
72
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,502
Why not? She got a nice big head.
73
00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:58,451
This place is so tiny. I can't even imagine
how small the facial room must be.
74
00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:01,559
Hill, why don't you come on over here
and sit down? Here you go.
75
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:04,993
Read this Jet magazine
and let me handle my business, all right?
76
00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:08,327
- Okay, you're next.
- Hey. Whoa, hey.
77
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:12,196
Now, you know I'm gonna have to charge
you extra for working around these ears.
78
00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:17,603
Well, no, hold up, my man.
Actually, I'm not here to get a haircut.
79
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:20,007
Well, you in the wrong place, fool.
80
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:23,208
Well, no, a friend of mine sent me.
You know Jazz?
81
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,647
The idiot that put the candle
in his mouth?
82
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,620
- That's him.
- All right, now, what can I do you for?
83
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:32,917
- Well, see, actually, my cousin and l...
- Will, let me handle this.
84
00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:37,324
Hi. As you probably already know,
I'm Hilary Banks.
85
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:39,021
Who?
86
00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:41,900
Ha, ha! That's very funny.
87
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:45,731
I would be really honored
if you would be a guest on my show.
88
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:50,001
What is it with you people?
First, you got Geraldo coming in here...
89
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:54,135
...you know his head is as empty
as Al Capone's vault, then you had Montel.
90
00:06:54,313 --> 00:06:57,612
I told Montel, "Yeah, I'll do your show
when you grow some hair."
91
00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:01,347
Now, listen, I'm gonna tell you
the same thing I told them.
92
00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,853
I'm not interested
in doing tabloid television.
93
00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:06,150
I have my dignity
and I have my self-respect.
94
00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:08,054
- We got cash.
- You got George.
95
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:09,961
Oh!
96
00:07:10,863 --> 00:07:12,990
Carlton, can I use your car on Saturday?
97
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,191
No can do, Ashley. I have a date.
98
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,367
You're kidding. With who?
99
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:27,144
Well, I haven't worked that part out yet.
But once this dating-service thing kicks in...
100
00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:29,838
...this hombre's dance card
is gonna be pretty full.
101
00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:34,778
Oh, yeah, just yuk it up.
102
00:07:35,354 --> 00:07:38,812
He who laughs last...
See, it's started already.
103
00:07:38,991 --> 00:07:41,516
- Master Carlton...
- Not now, Geoffrey.
104
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,454
"You're in my thoughts. Love, Thad."
105
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,154
Thad?
106
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:48,630
That's a pretty sexy-sounding name.
107
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:51,395
I'm thinking long legs.
108
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:53,766
No, these are for me from Thad.
109
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,737
Now what am I supposed to do?
110
00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:59,344
Please, for carnations
and a little baby's breath? Nothing.
111
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:05,917
Hey. Hey, Carlton, you will never guess
who we got on the show for tomorrow.
112
00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:08,519
So there's no sense of me playing,
is there?
113
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,350
Hey, Uncle Phil,
about that juror you just...
114
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:17,462
- I'm sorry, Will, but I can't talk about it.
- Daddy, the juror...
115
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:23,569
How many times do I have to tell you kids
that I just can't talk about it? Ugh!
116
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:28,365
Hey, Nicky,
you will never guess who we got...
117
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:32,841
How many times do I have to tell you kids?
I just can't talk about it.
118
00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:34,372
Ugh!
119
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,711
Excuse me, I'm here to return this radio.
120
00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:44,880
Back of the line.
121
00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:47,955
Hey, aren't you Judge Banks?
122
00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:50,322
Well, yes, I am.
123
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:53,531
Hey, everybody,
it's Judge Banks from the television.
124
00:08:54,166 --> 00:08:55,565
Hey.
125
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:58,226
You think that show-biz madam did it
or what, huh?
126
00:08:58,404 --> 00:09:00,304
I'm sorry, but I can't discuss the case.
127
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:03,140
Then I can't discuss your radio.
Back of the line.
128
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:13,380
All right, why don't you just relax,
cool out a little bit?
129
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,681
Hilary will be out soon.
How you feeling? You a little nervous?
130
00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:18,881
Why should I be nervous?
I'm all liquored up.
131
00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:25,854
You are hilarious, man.
Hey, have a seat. Have a seat.
132
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:28,125
Listen, I just wanna let you that,
you know...
133
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:31,099
...any point during the show
you feel like you might wanna...
134
00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:34,467
...I don't know, toss my name in,
"Will Smith," you know, it's cool.
135
00:09:35,374 --> 00:09:36,671
Okay. Ready, George?
136
00:09:36,842 --> 00:09:40,676
Of course, I'm ready. I've been waiting
around for an hour. Where's my money?
137
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:43,178
Hey, look. All right.
I'm gonna be right over here.
138
00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:45,749
Remember, Will Smith. Will Smith.
139
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,783
All right, everybody,
have a great show.
140
00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:49,046
Okay.
141
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:53,623
Now, just relax, be yourself,
and remember to keep your answers short.
142
00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:56,626
The audience didn't come
to hear the guest babble on and on.
143
00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:01,763
In five, four, three, two...
144
00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:06,066
Hello and welcome to Hilary.
145
00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:08,433
We're very excited today
to have as our guest...
146
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:13,409
...recently dismissed juror from the
Show-Biz Madam Trial, George Howlings.
147
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:17,677
- Welcome.
- Thank you. Thank you so much.
148
00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:21,843
Well, I guess what we're all dying to know
is why you were dismissed.
149
00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:25,320
You know, they told the press
I was writing a book, but that's not it.
150
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:26,785
Oh?
151
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:30,060
Tell us what it really was.
152
00:10:30,229 --> 00:10:33,687
Well, they said I was crazy,
but I'm not crazy.
153
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:35,925
But you wanna know who is crazy?
154
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:37,694
Maybe I shouldn't say this on TV.
155
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:41,101
Oh, come on, George.
Just between you and me...
156
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,909
...who was crazy?
157
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:46,203
That lard-butt of a judge.
158
00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:50,147
That man is crazy as they come.
159
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:53,451
What does it take
to become a judge these days?
160
00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:57,077
Now, if you ask me,
that man was very incompetent.
161
00:10:57,256 --> 00:10:59,349
Couldn't judge a beauty pageant.
162
00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:02,688
About as useless as a no-mouthed dog
at a Frisbee contest.
163
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:07,395
If I ever see him,
I'll lower him like a cheap carpet.
164
00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:13,370
And it looked to me,
he dozed off every now and then.
165
00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:14,563
George...
166
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:17,174
Probably dreaming
about that bony-legged prosecutor.
167
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:20,440
I think they got something going on.
168
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,812
Ain't that right, Will Smith?
169
00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:38,694
Hill. Hill. Hold up. He's gonna kill us.
170
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:42,231
Will, it's not like it was our fault.
We can't control what someone says.
171
00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:44,926
Daddy will understand that.
172
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:46,503
Well, I hope so.
173
00:11:46,672 --> 00:11:49,300
And if not,
I'll just blame the whole thing on you.
174
00:11:50,609 --> 00:11:53,169
Oops. Did I say that out loud?
175
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,170
Is he in there?
176
00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:58,111
No, the coast is... Clear!
177
00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:05,618
Hi, Daddy. You look so handsome.
178
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:09,386
Oh, not bad for a lard butt, huh?
179
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:14,459
I guess there's no reason to ask
whether or not you saw the show today.
180
00:12:14,633 --> 00:12:16,863
Oh, I saw the show.
181
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:19,095
We all saw the show.
182
00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:23,275
Wait, wait, hold up, Uncle Phil.
Now, before you get started...
183
00:12:23,442 --> 00:12:26,843
...I wanna let you know that finger pointing
isn't gonna get us nowhere.
184
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:31,543
And also that
it's not called The Will Show.
185
00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:36,616
Oh, please. You're the one
that introduced me to that nut.
186
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:40,316
Daddy, punish him. He needs tough love.
187
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,591
That is enough.
188
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,629
I have never been so embarrassed
in my entire life.
189
00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:49,928
And to think the two people
responsible for it are my own family.
190
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,070
My own flesh and blood.
191
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:54,303
Um...
192
00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:57,465
Technically, Uncle Phil,
I'm not really your flesh and blood.
193
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:03,380
See, my Mom and Aunt Viv, they...
194
00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:06,450
I see where you going with this though.
195
00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:09,377
- Do you?
- Oh, yeah, I can see. Pssh-pssh!
196
00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:14,887
Then tell me, what is it?
Haven't I done enough for you?
197
00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:17,961
Taking you into my home, huh?
Treated you with respect.
198
00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:21,026
Maybe I did something to hurt you,
is that it?
199
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:24,700
No. Come on, Uncle Phil.
No. No, that's not it.
200
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:27,605
- Then why?
- I don't... I don't know.
201
00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:29,604
And you...
202
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:31,536
...my own daughter.
203
00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:34,042
My first-born.
204
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:39,375
I don't know if there's a knife
that could cut as deeply.
205
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:42,350
We tried to tell you yesterday.
206
00:13:42,788 --> 00:13:45,951
That's your excuse?
You didn't have the sense to know that...
207
00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:48,593
...that man would be angry with me
for dismissing him?
208
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:51,355
You didn't have the common sense
to know that?
209
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:54,499
I don't have any common sense.
210
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:04,940
You two have profoundly hurt
and disappointed me.
211
00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:09,475
Unc... Uncle... Uncle Ph... Unc...
212
00:14:10,649 --> 00:14:13,812
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
213
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:16,955
Aunt... Aunt... Aunt...
214
00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:20,182
- A... Ashley.
- You understand, don't you?
215
00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:27,228
Nicky. Come on... Ow! Man.
216
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:32,426
- Hill, you know what you gonna say?
- I'm just gonna speak from the heart.
217
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,800
Hey, now just remember,
this is from both of us.
218
00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:37,670
Don't be out there taking all the credit.
Have a good show.
219
00:14:37,843 --> 00:14:43,406
Here we go.
In five seconds, four, three, two...
220
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,347
Hello and welcome to Hilary.
221
00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:50,186
Today's show
is a very special tribute to fathers.
222
00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:52,187
But before we get to our guests...
223
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:56,260
...I'd like to say something special
about a very important man in my life.
224
00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:59,920
My father, Judge Philip Banks.
225
00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:07,738
Yesterday, a dismissed juror
in the Show-Biz Madam Trial...
226
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:12,537
...came on the show
and said some really icky things about him.
227
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:18,578
My cousin Will and I were,
well, to say the least, shocked.
228
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:23,949
- And now Daddy won't even talk to us.
He won't say nothing.
229
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:27,024
And we feel like strangers in our own house.
230
00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:30,821
Please, Daddy, forgive us. Please.
231
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:34,360
You should be ashamed of yourself.
232
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,166
Ow!
233
00:15:38,804 --> 00:15:41,671
And we don't know
what we supposed to do.
234
00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:52,040
I'm sorry,
no one answered the front door.
235
00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:54,777
I have a package for a Carlton Banks.
236
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,751
That's me.
237
00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:58,981
Oh, no, not another rejection.
238
00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:00,455
Bad news?
239
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,890
I sent this to Last Chance Video Dating.
240
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:08,329
You know, "We guarantee you a date,"
except if your name is Carlton Banks.
241
00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:12,601
Trust me. It doesn't work
if your name is Michelle Williams either.
242
00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:15,467
- You tried this?
- I tried them all.
243
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:16,665
Wow.
244
00:16:16,842 --> 00:16:20,972
I wouldn't expect someone like you
to have trouble meeting people.
245
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:25,105
The only people I meet
are dogs and shut-ins.
246
00:16:26,218 --> 00:16:27,276
Why can't it be easier?
247
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:30,479
I mean, why can't you just open the door
and meet someone nice?
248
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,353
Well, bye.
249
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:38,659
Wait a minute.
250
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,331
Would you?
251
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,695
Uh... Uh...
252
00:16:43,869 --> 00:16:45,803
Like to go out Saturday night?
253
00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:47,462
Yeah.
254
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:51,033
- Hey, I'm not...
- Coming on too strong?
255
00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:52,735
Not at all.
256
00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:55,242
Bye.
257
00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:02,477
Sweet mother of God,
that's a firm handshake.
258
00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:08,488
Trust me, if Daddy saw the show
this afternoon, everything will be fine.
259
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:11,561
And if he didn't, we'll show it to him.
260
00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:14,290
Now, do you know how to work
one of these things?
261
00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:15,455
What are you two doing?
262
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,664
Hey, man.
263
00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:23,699
Did you see anything,
I don't know, good on TV today?
264
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:24,968
No.
265
00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:28,113
- So you didn't see the show?
- Oh, I saw the show.
266
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:33,547
And now thanks to you, not only am I
an incompetent judge, but an unfit parent.
267
00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:36,480
Tell me, what do you have planned
for tomorrow?
268
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:38,646
Perhaps snapshots of me
in the bathtub, huh?
269
00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:42,692
Or a video of me
chasing stray dogs in my car.
270
00:17:43,295 --> 00:17:45,889
Daddy, you don't do that, do you?
271
00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:49,767
You two are the most irresponsible...
272
00:17:49,935 --> 00:17:51,596
All right, I've heard enough.
273
00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:54,068
Now, I did see something good
on TV today.
274
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,434
I saw two people
begging for forgiveness...
275
00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:59,509
...and feeling very badly
for hurting someone that they love.
276
00:17:59,678 --> 00:18:04,081
Oh, please, Vivian.
Don't buy into the propaganda.
277
00:18:04,983 --> 00:18:06,610
That's enough.
278
00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:09,583
Now, what I wanna hear now
is an apology...
279
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:13,191
...and the acceptance of the apology.
280
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:15,383
Go ahead.
281
00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:17,188
- We sorry.
- We're sorry.
282
00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:21,560
- We sorry, man. We sorry. Man, we sorry.
- We're really, really, really sorry, Daddy.
283
00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:23,758
Okay, now you.
284
00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:27,872
I accept your apology.
285
00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:32,173
Philip.
286
00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:36,237
I accept your apology.
287
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:38,349
Okay.
288
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:40,951
- Now hug. Come on.
- Ohh.
289
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,159
Hold up. Hold up.
290
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:22,620
This is the way it's supposed to be.
One big happy family.
291
00:19:22,794 --> 00:19:25,126
Uncle Phil, man,
I just wanna say again how sorry...
292
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:28,664
Enough, enough said, Will. Enough.
Let's just put it all behind us.
293
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:33,328
What's done is done.
I just wanna sit here and watch a little TV.
294
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,167
Anybody see
the Hilary show the other day?
295
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:38,775
They had a dismissed juror
from the Show-Biz Madam Case...
296
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:42,607
... insulting Judge Banks,
who just happens to be Hilary's father.
297
00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:46,478
Boy, here's a family that really puts
the "fun" back in dysfunctional, isn't it?
298
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:55,285
Speaking of Judge Banks,
we have a special tribute to him tonight.
299
00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:59,226
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome The Dancing Phils.
300
00:20:04,002 --> 00:20:06,232
- That's it! I've had enough!
- But, wait...
301
00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:08,703
- Daddy...
- No, no. Just go. Just go. Please.
302
00:20:08,907 --> 00:20:11,034
- Ohh!
Go!
303
00:20:11,243 --> 00:20:14,644
Wait, wait a minute.
Now, you wait one minute, Uncle Phil.
304
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:17,175
Now, I didn't wanna have to do this...
305
00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:19,544
...but you brought this on yourself.
306
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:30,293
And I am telling you
307
00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:35,132
I'm not going
308
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:39,236
Even though the rough times are showing
309
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:44,774
There's just no way, there's no way
310
00:20:44,943 --> 00:20:48,470
Tear down the mountains
Yell, scream and shout
311
00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:51,639
You can say what you want
I'm not walking out
312
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:55,781
Stop all the rivers, push, strike and kill
313
00:20:55,954 --> 00:21:01,950
I'm not gonna leave you
There's no way I will
314
00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:05,187
And
315
00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:12,361
I am telling you
316
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:17,007
I'm not going
317
00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:21,810
You're the best man I'll ever know
318
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:25,541
There's no way I can ever, ever go
319
00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:28,618
No, no, no, no way
320
00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:32,553
No, no, no, no way I'm living without you
321
00:21:32,724 --> 00:21:38,458
Oh, I'm not living without you
Not living without you
322
00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:41,861
I don't wanna be free
323
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:43,626
I'm staying
324
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:46,134
I'm staying
325
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:49,001
And you, and you, and you
326
00:21:49,174 --> 00:21:50,971
You're gonna...
327
00:21:57,015 --> 00:22:00,314
You're gonna love me
26968
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