Original subtitles

I'm gonna miss you.

Oh, I've written it all down, Mum. You've got his food, his meds, his

piggy.

And what's his sleep schedule?

Ah, he's not a newborn, he's a dog. So, you'll be fine. Oh, Gonzalo's here.

Have a sexy time.

Sorry? Well, I couldn't help but notice the lingerie in your bag.

Ah, oh, like you couldn't help but go through my bag?

We shouldn't have any secrets.

We're besties.

Fuck, you're so annoying.

So it's back on.

That was quick.

He's just invited me to, like, a work thing. Some client has a fancy pub in

West Wyalong.

Oh, I know. But apparently it's, like, a really fancy pub, and it's just the two

of us, so... Time to start a family?

No. Look, I'm going to sperm hits an egg at your age. It just disintegrates. I'm

glad I opened up. Thanks. Goodbye.

All right.

Hey. Hey.

Sorry. That's all right.

Hello, Gordon.

Oh, hi.

Don't worry. Your fur baby's in good hands.

Yeah, of course. Thanks for looking after him, Linnell. Really appreciate

it. Oh, no worries. You too. Enjoy your dirty weekend.

Yeah, it's a work trip. It's a work trip. All work and no play makes Gordon

a sexy boy.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, thanks, Tom. Look who's come to say goodbye.

Ciao, ciao.

Ciao, ciao.

You're all right.

Go back inside.

See you, Gordy. Bye. Drive safe.

You know, when Lavelle and I do end up together, I don't want you to call me

Dad. Okay. I think that'd be weird. Yes, I agree.

Yeah.

This would be nice, a bit of time together, a bit of P&Q.

Yeah.

It's like a fancy hotel room, yeah?

I wonder if there's a bath.

Gordy, can we get Maccas?

Hi, Ash.

Hi, Ash.

You knew they were coming as well, didn't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh,

yeah, these guys.

Yeah.

for the two of you.

No, I knew that. All good.

You packed all that lingerie for nothing.

Shame.

Anyway, jump in. Yes, of course. Yes, thank you.

Facebook, really? Let's go.

Okay. Okay, you have 948 Facebook friends. Yeah. Who is this one?

Oh, yeah?

Mm-hmm. I know her.

But do you? Yes.

Uh-huh. That's... I went... I went to school with a daughter.

Mm-hmm. That's Erin Shepley's mum.

More information, please.

Mrs. Shepley is her name. She has a first name, I'd imagine.

Oh. Come on.

Kerry. It's Narelle.

Fuck it. Oh, no. I called her Mrs. S. That's not fair.

You can do the honours. No, I can't unfriend her. I know who she is. Names

are rules. If you can't name them, you've got to unfriend them.

Wow. Delete.

Gone. Oh, God.

That's fucked.

She's going to wonder what she did wrong.

Maybe you can add me again.

Well, a space did just open up.

Okay, now let's play elephant in the car.

What's going on with you two?

What? Not the elephant in the car, Key.

Oh, okay. I just thought, actually, it seemed like you thought this was going

to be like a little romantic getaway. Key, don't be a dickhead. Mum, she's

just messing around. She's got a warped sense of humour.

I don't have lingerie.

So you know that we're just all going to be in one room.

Yes, yes. I did not know that. And now I do.

And I love it. If you say so.

A bit quiet back there, Brady?

You all right?

Yeah, yeah, nah.

I'm watching Carmen bake.

You're what now?

It's Carmen. She's my girlfriend.

Oh, all right, Brady. When do I get to meet her? I think Brady's got to meet

her first.

I have met her, just not in real life. She lives in Manila. Yeah, she's

definitely not a scam.

It's not a scam?

What's she baking?

A visa?

Nah.

I challenged her to bake a cake that looks like her boobs.

Oh, really? She's got a look of that, then? Yeah.

Oh, that's really...

Looks very dense.

Yeah, right?

Yeah. Can I look? Yeah, they're good.

Hey, come on. I was on the road. What are you doing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You'd risk having an accident to see a cake that looks like boobs.

Yeah.

Bernie! Hello, Lanelle.

Sorry for just showing up like this, but I... I thought you'd stopped all this.

Oh, no, I have, really. I haven't had a drink in months.

I need to talk to you, Linnell. May I come in?

Bernie, my feelings haven't changed.

Neither have mine.

You made a terrible mistake marrying that fucking cockhead, but I need to

talk to you.

It'll only take five minutes.

Please, Linnell, it's important.

Right, five minutes.

That's it.

Battery 50%. Ah, 50%.

Is that okay?

Yeah, it's fine. We're fine. It's just annoying.

It helps if you charge it, Gordie.

Yep, thanks, Kenny.

So, Gordon. Yeah. I was wondering if I could get an advance on next month's pay

so I can fly Carmen over so we can meet.

Um... Because, you know, I'd be happy to drop this whole lawsuit thing.

Are you fucking serious?

What? You're blackmailing me? Dude, what the fuck?

Carmen said you'd react badly.

Oh, this is Carmen's idea. Of course it is.

Well, that's supposed to mean... What it means is, Brett, that Carmen asking for

money so she can fly here is textbook scam. It is textbook scam. No, it's not.

You just don't like her. For all I know, she could be AI.

But I'm sure she's a very lovely computer. I love you, Brett. Please send

money. She's not AI, brother. I checked.

Really? How do you check? With an AI.

There's an app that tells you. Oh, AI. To check your AI. Yeah.

Listen, mate, what actually concerns me is not that so much, it's the fact that

you've now fully merged with your phone. That's such bullshit. Okay, how about

this, man? How about this? If you can go the next 24 hours without looking at

your phone, even once, I'll give you $1,000.

Really? Straight up. But if you can't, you drop the lawsuit.

That's good.

Oh. See?

Oh, hey, there's room in the lockbox if you want to get real, Brady.

Yeah, done. Yay! Take my phone.

You've got a locked box.

Yeah, yeah, my phone's in there. It's a game changer. It's so good for my ADHD.

And it's medical, so it's a work deduction.

No, it's not.

Isn't it?

No. Oh.

Yeah, can I get in on that?

Would you like to?

I would love that.

Fucking freedom. Oh, my God.

Now we're talking. I don't want to see it. I hate that thing. No, they're

horrible. Actually, Gordo, what about you?

No, I don't have... I need the map.

You don't, mate. You've got that sat-nav, mate.

Put it in. Put it in. Put it in. Put it in. Put it in. Put it in. Put it in. I

don't need to. I don't. Fine. Fine. Fine. I'll put it in. Jesus Christ. All

right. Oh, my God.

We're going to really connect.

It's going to be so good.

Wait. What if we need a phone?

Already cracking.

No. Crack Nicholson back here. It's giving me a code if we need to. But we

won't need to. Will we, Brittany? No.

No way.

Oh, Cal.

Oh, Cal. See?

We would have missed them if we were all on our phones.

Let me get a photo.

So,

a very old friend of mine is quite high up in the ACNC.

I don't know what that... Oh, it's a government agency that deals with

criminal activities in charities and not-for-profits.

Right. Anyway, he's told me that your name has come up in relation to your

charity, Women Against Men Against Women.

No. Well, wham.

That sounds like it would be... Well, more.

Well, now.

Yeah, but, Lynelle, whatever it's called, it's in your name. It's your

charity, and there's been allegations of a misuse of funds. Oh, I don't think

that's right.

So you need to get everything out of your name, Lynelle.

Wife talking to old flame.

I don't want to make a theme, Linnell. I just wanted you to be aware of... I

think you should leave.

I was clearly just doing that, Lee.

Make it... Oh, name-calling. You're a small, small man.

Small, small married man. OK, OK, Bernie, I think you should go. I'm

going.

Linnell, I just want you to know that the eight months that we spent

together... Where's Colin?

Who? Did you not close the front door?

Did I not?

No, sorry.

Colin!

Colin, would you?

No.

Colin! Now you've done it.

Battery 30%. Did you turn the aircon off?

Yeah, I had to, but I'm trying to save charge on the battery.

Can I open a window?

No, it makes my ears go... What does that even mean?

It's weird.

No. What? Just relax, everybody. There's a charging station up ahead. We're fine.

I think it got stolen. Stolen?

An electric vehicle charger got stolen?

Yeah.

Why? Well, you don't happen to know anything about it?

Me?

No. Why would I know anything about it?

Well, you're the one asking all these questions.

Okay. But if you just keep an eye out for us.

Yeah, I'm looking for one, yeah.

So are we.

Okay, so where?

Same boat.

We're in the same boat, aren't we?

How'd you go?

No good.

But we're fine. We'll be fine.

We'll just have to find another one. Okay.

Where are the others?

Toilet. Okay.

Yeah.

Actually, I feel like I might have stuffed this up a little bit.

Oh, no, no, no. We'll find another charger.

No, no, no, not that.

I mean, I feel like you might have thought that this was just going to be

the two of us this trip.

No.

This is a work trip. I knew that.

This is what Lanelle said.

It's not lingerie.

She said lingerie. Oh, God.

It's a matching set.

Is that not lingerie? No, it's a matching set.

But it's not matching bra and undies matching. They match. I'm not dancing at

the Moulin Rouge, mate.

Point is, it's okay if you did think that... What do you want me to say?

Because even if I did...

I wanted to just be asked. You clearly didn't.

It's all good. It's all good. But maybe I did. I just thought that maybe you

would think that it's too much or it's too soon. Oh, it's all right. You could

have asked me.

I could have, but it's, you know, it's not very romantic.

Gordie, it's fine.

I just think that we're not on the same page.

But that's what I'm saying. Maybe we are on the same page. We're just at slightly

different paragraphs of that page, you know. It's not. And if we just looked at

the page together.

Now, Brett's here.

Hey. Hey. Hey, Brady. Is a matching bra and undies automatically lingerie?

No, it's just a matching thing.

Thank you.

I didn't know. I thought it was the same thing.

You? Yeah. What an idiot.

Yeah.

Colin!

Colin!

Here, boy. Come on.

In the doggy.

Colin!

Colin!

Battery 25%.

Hey, Key, take my phone out of the lockbox. I've got to find a charging

station. This map's got no fucking idea.

First one to break. It was a nice little spell. It was, and now it's broken.

Oh, shit.

Okay, very good.

No, I'm not joking.

Can we not do this?

It's in fortress mode.

What? Tell me you're joking. I'm not. I don't even know. How the fuck did I do

that? What is that? What's fortress mode? It's just you can't get it into

it. Okay, calm down. You can't get into it. Okay, there'll be an override

somewhere. No, yes, yes, yes, yes. You just have to get a code from the

lockbox. And how do you... It's online.

Oh, no.

This isn't good, man. This is fucked, actually. Because I didn't tell Carmen

what we were doing, and she's probably freaking out. Key, not ideal. No. But

we're fine. We've got enough battery. We'll find a charging place. We're

actually fine. Yeah. We're actually, actually fine. Everything's good. Yeah.

Yeah.

Check out this guy. He's all over the shop.

Oh, yeah.

Holy shit. Oh, my God.

Did you see that? Yes, I saw that.

There's a sign in the back of the van. It says, help me. No, it didn't. Yes, it

did. Well, you have to help. I fully agree.

Well, what are we going to do, Mad Max? Ram them off the road? I think we should

just follow them.

Should we? No, definitely not. Yeah, I mean, yeah.

You know what? I'm just going to hang back.

We're already here, and we'll just see what happens. And maybe a cop car will

come or something.

Gordon, this is... 100% kids fucking ran in the back of the van.

Really? You think kids are in that van? I have three boys, mate. They do this

sort of shit all the time.

Or it's a psycho.

But either way, do you want to spend the last 22% of the battery finding out?

Oh, they're turning off.

What do you think?

I mean... No, Gordon, don't do it. No, stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Don't do it. Come on, come on. They're doing it.

Shut up. Everyone relax.

You killed her.

Well, I give good hell to... Stop it!

Stop it!

Bernie! Bernie! Stop it!

I don't bloody need this.

You're supposed to be looking for the dog.

I was. I looked all around.

I can't remember what it looks like. He looks like a crippled border terrier,

Bernie. Oh, I didn't see it. You ripped my shirt.

Get out.

Me? Yes, you, Bernie. This is all your fault. Get out.

You heard her.

I will.

But I want you to know that the eight months that we spent together... Go!

Unbelievable.

Anyway, drink?

What?

What do you mean drink?

Shall we have a drink?

Colin is missing.

Right. Yes. So get in the car and go and find him.

What, now? Yes, now.

Right you are.

Come on.

No, leave it. No, we're going to need like a blowtorch or something. Okay,

we'll find ourselves a blowtorch.

It makes me crazy.

Maybe... Okay, they definitely know that we're following them.

Yeah. Yeah.

Hundo P.

Honestly, mate, you need to do it. You need to turn around. You need to go

back. That's obvious.

Key, it's too late, mate. We're fully in.

Fully in.

Freddie! Stop the bus! Stop it!

Okay,

he's turning. Where is he?

Oh, shit.

Oh, my God. Shit, I think he lives here.

Gordie, turn around. Go, go.

Somebody might need help, Key.

Fucking hell.

It's okay.

It's okay, everyone.

It's okay.

That's bad. This is bad.

Gordy. It's okay.

Do not go all Peter Parker here, because he could have a gun, okay? Hey, it's not

America, okay? At best, he'll have a knife. Oh, great. He'll fucking stab

you. Yeah, I'll back you up. No, no, no, no. Just fucking everyone relax.

I'm just going to have a chat, okay? Look, he looks, he seems like a...

Psycho? Yeah, he looks like a psycho. Psycho.

Can I help you, mate? G'day.

Is this your place?

Mm, yep.

It's really lovely.

Thanks.

Um, yeah, I just, um, sorry, I'm so weird. Uh, my name's Gordon, hello.

Is there anyone else in the van at all?

Excuse me?

Hello.

Fuck you, look at that, Gordon.

Ooh, you like her, huh? Is that why you've been following us? I can hook you

up. No, that's okay. You two would be great together. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I

didn't mean to look. She's very beautiful. I just, um...

I just have reason to believe that there might be someone inside the van who

doesn't want to be there, potentially.

What are you going to

do?

Who was it?

A help me sign in the back window. I just saw a help me sign.

Are you OK?

Yeah. I was going to... Hey,

you been doing that help me shit again?

Have you? Get out of here.

Come on, quick sticks, let's go.

Fucking dawdle.

Let's go.

Oh, so it was kids.

Yeah, I can see that.

Did you?

Yeah, fucking get inside, both of you.

Go on.

Come on, you heard your father, boys.

And they're fucking Nintendo.

Screen time, sis.

Bad, yeah. Yeah. Kids.

You think we kidnapped them or something, did you?

No, no, no, no.

We did a little bit. Well, a little bit. Yeah.

Sorry, we did. Yeah.

That's funny, is it? Kidnapping kids.

No. It's not. It's not funny. We don't make light of that at all. No. In fact,

the opposite. That's why we're... That's why we're here.

In many ways, yeah.

But it's our mistake. I can see that now. And I'm really sorry.

You're sorry. We'll just... Oh, I don't suppose you know of any EV charging

stations that might be in this area?

EV?

Electrical vehicle.

You're on the big smoke now, mate. Put some fucking petrol in it.

I would. It's just that it's not a hybrid vehicle. It's fully electric and

we've got a rebate on it. Yeah. And you're not driving a car, are you?

Driving a fucking sewing machine.

Yeah, yeah.

Go fuck off.

Yep. See you.

You all right? Yeah.

Get the fucking grass.

Sorry. Fuck with.

Fuck me.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. Telephone. He got you?

Yeah, I'm fine.

How much charge is left?

Six percent, but there'll be ten percent in reserve.

Really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

That's not true. It's how they're designed. It's how they're designed for

sure. We're good.

Oh, five now.

Sound the fanfare. The hero has returned.

You found him. Where is he?

He's just outside doing a wee-wee.

Where was he?

He was at the pound.

The pound?

That happened so quickly.

I forgot him as soon as he got out the front gate.

Yes, it's a bloody nanny state, isn't it? Unbelievable.

Anyway, all's well that ends well.

That's not Colin.

What? Yes, it is.

Colin's got wheels.

Well, he must have lost them or some kids stole them.

Lee, his back legs don't work.

Still? Always.

Well, it's an upgrade.

See?

Anyway, I must mend my pocket.

Why are you slowing down?

What are you doing? Battery 0%. Are you serious? Oh, my God!

What does that mean?

You said 10% was left. I thought there'd be 10%. I thought there was. You're

saying 0%. I can hear her.

You're going into a tree. Oh, my God!

No,

don't put me back on hold.

This is the wrong dog. We can't keep him.

Right, well, stick it up your arse then.

God,

you look exactly like him.

Are you, Colin?

My God.

You are, aren't you?

Your legs were fine the whole time.

Got him.

Locked in the laundry. It was at my underpants. Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, Colin!

You haven't got rid of the other one yet.

Oh, no, the pound won't take him back.

You should make Bernie take him.

He'd probably diddle him. He's so lonely.

Lee? Hmm?

Bernie told me Wuam was in some sort of financial trouble or something.

What? What could he mean?

Darling, Bernie is just a disgruntled ex-lover, isn't he? Now, we know that.

And he would say anything to get your attention, wouldn't he? Yes?

But is there anything?

You know, what I'd like to know is what are we going to call that dog?

You just said you wanted to get rid of him. No, no, no. He's gorgeous.

He's much better than the other one, don't you think?

Well, he is cute. He's very cute.

Look at him. His little wet nose. Look at him.

They're so happy together, too. I'm happy. Look at them. Look at him. Look

at him.

Yeah.

I think we've got about 40 minutes left of daylight, okay? So at this point, I

think it's safest just to stay with the car overnight and we'll walk out in the

morning. Really?

Yeah. What, we're all going to sleep in there, are we?

Well,

we could, I mean, girls can stay in the cabin and Brady and I will stay in the

tray. I'll make a fire.

Oh, right. Got any water, Bear Grylls?

Brady, Brady, Brady, Brady, Brady, Brady!

Do we bring any water?

No. We have a slab of IPA and a slab of tox.

Okay. What, the electrolyte beer?

Should be pretty hydrating.

Oh, fantastic.

We're saved.

Hey, Key, Key, if you have a plan, I'm all ears, mate. Hey, how about this? We

put all our phones into an impenetrable lockbox that doesn't open until

tomorrow. That's fantastic. That's a great plan.

Thank you, Nick.

Fucking bloody stop with the begging!

Okay,

come on. Here we go.

Look alive.

Thank you, Gordon.

It's the good stuff.

Okay.

Here is to camping, adventure with friends.

Cheers. Hey, adventure.

Yeah. Cheers.

That's so salty. That's so gross. How much salt is in that, Brett? That's the

electrolytes.

It's going to make us thirstier, if anything.

Yeah. You know what? I'm going to call it.

Because the sooner I go to bed, the sooner this nightmare is over.

Yeah. I'll just go brush my teeth with IPA.

Yeah, I try not to do it near the toilets that I dug.

Okay, you stop and you get up and you come and show me exactly where they are.

Okay, no worries.

I think I remember where it is.

How many have you done today anyway?

Three, three and a half. Yeah, I've counted three.

Yeah. So gross.

That's what I counted.

Well, you know.

Well. You can't say I don't take you to nice places.

Totally. Oh, my God.

Salty beer.

No amenities.

Very close to the road.

Convenient. Yeah, it's really good. It doesn't get any closer.

How about this? How about we just draw a line under it?

Under what?

Under us. Like all the history, all the bullshit, and we just go, hey, we're

meeting for the first time right now. Starting fresh.

Two people meeting by the campfire.

Okay. Hi. My name's Gordon. What's your name?

Hi.

Lucy. Lucy?

Yeah. Thought we were doing real names.

Okay, my name's Ashley, but, you know, I don't know you.

Right. Can't be too careful.

That's actually... That's good thinking.

Gordon. That's not a great name.

I hope your last name's better.

The word around the campfire is you've got a matching set. Let's talk colours.

Not really appropriate, mate. I just met you.

Fair point.

Yeah.

Ease up.

Stop!

What is it? Don't move.

What the fuck is it? Just, um... Is it a spider?

It's not a spider.

You promise?

In all honesty, not a spider.

Something else, which is fine and harmless.

Is it a spider, though?

Not a spider.

Because if it's a fucking spider, I'm going to freak the fuck out.

It is a spider.

Fucking hell! Okay, okay, okay.

Where is it? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

You're good. You're good. You're good.

I can't do this.

I'm going to go to bed now because I've never camped.

I am the indoor type.

And I'm fucking done here. Good night.

Thanks a lot, you fucking eight-eyed fucking freakish. Okay.

Morning.

Hi.

Everything all right? Oh, yeah.

Yes, we are. A car and a battery.

Right, yeah, well, it is an EV, so what do you expect?

Hi.

Hey.

Thank God you're driving past.

No, well, I wasn't.

We've actually, we had an inquiry from the Department of Foreign Affairs, so

that means I had to come out here and deal with you people.

So who called it in? I believe the alarms were raised in the Philippines.

A lady by the name of... Carmen!

Yeah. Oh, my God, I told you. What? We share locations. She must have just seen

me sitting here in the middle of nowhere.

What?

Right, so no emergency.

No one's injured.

No. Oh, my back hurts a little.

All right. Well, yeah, great use of my time. Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey. Hey.

I told you she's not AI. Hey. You're going to owe me a thousand bucks. We

don't know that. AI is perfectly capable of making a phone call, Brett. Hey, why

didn't you press the SOS button?

What?

Where's that?

Oh, it's just right there. It's where it says SOS.

Oh, there it is.

Couldn't be bigger, couldn't be redder, couldn't be more embossed. I'll tell you

what the emergency is. You're a fuckhead.

Yep, okay. Just, yep. Yep.

Yep. SOS.

Gordon's fucked.

Gordon, it's right there, man.

Sorry, you were in the front too.

You're just as close as he is. This sounds like a work thing. I'm gonna...

Great. Oh, shit.

Oh, thanks. That's your phone.

Jesus, maybe I am addicted.

Yeah, maybe.

Oh, and hey, thanks for a top weekend, you two.

Excuse me?

Oh, well, I said it would be kids in the back of the van, didn't I? She did.

It was us, all right. No,

just try and make a citizen sign in the back. Where was this?

Just outside Cowra. And was it a dark blue van?

Yeah. And the guy was bald with a beard and he had skinny messes with big lips?

Oh, yeah, and two young boys in the back.

Two young boys? Yeah.

This is car 14. I may have located those two missing boys.

Requesting backup. Over. Oh, my God. Copy that, car 14. A unit is dispatched.

We fucking knew it. We fucking knew that.

Yeah.

Kiara? Yeah, mate.

Suck here. Oh, okay.

No, suck here. Hey!

Hey!

These children are in danger.

Yeah, that's what I was trying to tell her the whole time.

Enough!

Oh my God.

Mom just posted a video of Colin walking.

Everybody talking about one, two, three, four.

Everybody talking about one, two, three, four. Everybody do the one, two, three,

four. Everybody talking about one, two, three. Will you not walk a mile just to

die?

Gotta learn what that door is for.