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1
00:00:03,020 --> 00:00:06,020
GOOD NIGHT, LOWELL.
LAST ONE OUT LOCKS UP.
2
00:00:06,020 --> 00:00:08,020
NO PROBLEM.
NIGHT, HELEN.
3
00:00:31,310 --> 00:00:35,320
THAT OLD BLACK MAGIC
HAS ME IN ITS SPELL
4
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:40,320
THAT OLD BLACK MAGIC
THAT YOU WEAVE SO WELL
5
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:44,030
THE ICY FINGERS
UP AND DOWN MY SPINE
6
00:00:44,030 --> 00:00:45,530
THE SAME, THE SAME,
THE SAME
7
00:00:46,030 --> 00:00:47,460
THE SAME OLD WITCHCRAFT
8
00:00:47,460 --> 00:00:49,870
WHEN YOUR EYES MEET--
9
00:00:49,870 --> 00:00:50,870
MINE.
10
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:54,540
UH, HI, JOE.
11
00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:56,540
THOUGHT I WAS
THE ONLY ONE HERE.
12
00:00:56,540 --> 00:00:59,880
UH, JUST, UH,
CHECKING OUT THE MICROPHONE.
13
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,880
HA! WELL, IT SEEMS TO
WORK GREAT.
14
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,880
OH, WELL, GOOD NIGHT.
15
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:08,890
SEE YOU TOMORROW.
16
00:01:09,390 --> 00:01:10,390
GOOD NIGHT, LOWELL.
17
00:01:11,050 --> 00:01:12,060
[door closing]
18
00:01:19,230 --> 00:01:21,230
FINAL GAME
OF THE WORLD SERIES.
19
00:01:21,230 --> 00:01:24,230
2 OUTS. BOTTOM OF THE 9TH.
THE RED SOX ARE DOWN BY...
20
00:01:25,740 --> 00:01:27,240
[seagulls cawing]
21
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,200
(Brian)
NANTUCKET TOWER,
22
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,900
THIS IS CESSNA NEVADA
1-2-1 PAPA-PAPA.
23
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:35,410
REQUEST PERMISSION
TO CHANGE ALTITUDE
TO 5,000 FEET. OVER.
24
00:02:35,410 --> 00:02:37,410
(man)
ROGER, SANDPIPER.
AFFIRMATIVE. OUT.
25
00:02:38,910 --> 00:02:39,910
[sighing]
26
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,910
JOE,
27
00:02:42,410 --> 00:02:45,750
IS THERE SOMETHING
A LITTLE EERIE
ABOUT THIS FLIGHT?
28
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:49,050
I MEAN,
I THINK IT'S THIS TOUR GROUP
THAT YOU BOOKED.
29
00:02:49,050 --> 00:02:53,020
NOT ONE OF THEM
HAS SAID A WORD
SINCE THEY GOT ON THE PLANE.
30
00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:57,190
AND SOMETHING'S WRONG HERE.
SOMETHING'S TERRIBLY,
TERRIBLY WRONG. I MEAN,
31
00:02:57,190 --> 00:02:58,560
IT'S ALMOST AS IF...
32
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,560
THEY'VE TURNED
INTO MANNEQUINS!
33
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,070
[screaming]
34
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,840
FUNNY, BRIAN.
35
00:03:09,710 --> 00:03:11,210
WHY ARE WE
FLYING MANNEQUINS?
36
00:03:11,210 --> 00:03:15,210
WHY CAN'T WE FLY HUMANS?
IT'S WHAT A REAL AIRLINE'S
SUPPOSED TO DO, ISN'T IT?
37
00:03:15,210 --> 00:03:17,710
HEY, IT'S THE OFF-SEASON.
YOU TAKE WHATEVER BUSINESS
COMES YOUR WAY.
38
00:03:17,710 --> 00:03:19,220
ACCORDING TO MY FIGURES,
39
00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:20,880
WE'RE BARELY GOING
TO SQUEAK THROUGH.
40
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,390
WELL, EVER SINCE YOU LOST
YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE
41
00:03:22,390 --> 00:03:24,890
YOU'VE BEEN OBSESSING
ABOUT THIS COMPANY'S FINANCES.
42
00:03:24,890 --> 00:03:26,290
I WISH YOU'D STOP
WORRYING ABOUT IT.
43
00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:27,920
SOMEBODY'S GOTTA WORRY.
44
00:03:30,260 --> 00:03:31,260
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
45
00:03:31,260 --> 00:03:34,260
JUST ENCOUNTERING
A LITTLE TURBULENCE HERE.
46
00:03:34,260 --> 00:03:36,270
IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT
OF A WATER LANDING,
47
00:03:36,270 --> 00:03:40,270
PLEASE USE THE PASSENGER
IN FRONT OF YOU
AS A FLOTATION DEVICE.
48
00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:42,270
OOPS, SEEM TO HAVE
HAD A LITTLE MISHAP
BACK THERE, JOE.
49
00:03:42,270 --> 00:03:43,770
BETTER PUT THAT LEG BACK ON.
50
00:03:45,540 --> 00:03:48,040
HOW MANY PIONEERS OF AVIATION
HAVE SAID THOSE VERY WORDS?
51
00:03:50,350 --> 00:03:51,350
JOE.
52
00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:54,350
JOE, COME HERE
FOR A SECOND, WILL YOU?
53
00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:56,850
THIS GUY TRIES TO SUE US
HE WON'T HAVE
A LEG TO STAND ON.
54
00:03:56,850 --> 00:03:57,850
[chuckling]
55
00:03:59,220 --> 00:04:01,520
A LEG TO STAND ON.
56
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:03,430
[blowing]
HELLO? IS THIS THING ON?
57
00:04:03,430 --> 00:04:05,230
WOULD YOU SHUT UP?
TAKE A LOOK AT THAT.
58
00:04:05,630 --> 00:04:07,130
WHAT?
59
00:04:07,130 --> 00:04:09,630
NANTUCKET TOWER.
THIS IS CESSNA NEVADA
1-2-1 PAPA-PAPA.
60
00:04:10,130 --> 00:04:12,640
HAVE YOU GOT
ANY OTHER AIRCRAFT
IN THE VICINITY? OVER.
61
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,640
(man)
NO TRAFFIC IN THE AREA. OVER.
62
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:15,640
NOTHING AT ALL? OVER.
63
00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:17,640
NEGATIVE, SANDPIPER. OVER.
64
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,140
THANKS. OUT.
65
00:04:21,140 --> 00:04:24,650
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
I DON'T KNOW, MAN, IT'S LIKE
IT'S HOVERING OUT THERE.
66
00:04:24,650 --> 00:04:26,080
[rumbling]
HOLY--
67
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,550
DID--DID YOU SEE--
DID YOU SEE HOW FAST
THAT THING WAS GOING?
68
00:04:28,550 --> 00:04:29,850
NOTHING MOVES THAT FAST.
69
00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:34,020
IT'S GONE.
70
00:04:37,730 --> 00:04:38,730
I THINK WE JUST SAW A U.F.O.
71
00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:40,830
[both laughing]
72
00:04:43,730 --> 00:04:46,800
YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN TO GET
THE LICENSE PLATE NUMBER
ON THAT THING, DID YOU?
73
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,310
NO,
BUT THE BUMPER STICKER SAID,
74
00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:51,310
"55,000 MILES PER HOUR.
A LAW WE CAN LIVE WITH."
75
00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:03,250
FAY, DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?
76
00:05:03,690 --> 00:05:04,590
WHY, SURE, HELEN.
WHAT IS IT?
77
00:05:05,090 --> 00:05:06,420
WELL, I WAS JUST GOING
OVER MY BOOKS
78
00:05:06,420 --> 00:05:08,220
AND I'M SURE
IT WAS JUST AN OVERSIGHT,
79
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,160
BUT I NOTICED THAT
YOU HAVEN'T PAID
YOUR LUNCH BILL THIS MONTH.
80
00:05:10,530 --> 00:05:12,360
I-I'M SURE I DID.
81
00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:15,360
UH, NO, IT'S JUST THAT
WHEN SOMEONE PAYS ME
82
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,370
I MARK IT DOWN
IN MY LEDGER RIGHT HERE.
83
00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:19,100
I'M SURE YOU DO,
BUT I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER
84
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:21,600
PUTTING THE MONEY
IN AN ENVELOPE
AND GIVING IT TO YOU.
85
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,440
$42.50.
86
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:28,280
WELL, YOU KNOW, MEMORY CAN
PLAY TRICKS ON US SOMETIMES.
87
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:32,050
EVIDENTLY YOUR BOOKS
CAN PLAY SOME TRICKS, TOO.
88
00:05:32,050 --> 00:05:35,550
WELL, IF YOU WOULD LIKE
TO LOOK AT MY ACCOUNTS,
I CAN CLEARLY SHOW YOU--
89
00:05:35,550 --> 00:05:38,050
OH, HELEN, I WOULDN'T DREAM
OF DOUBTING YOUR HONESTY.
90
00:05:38,050 --> 00:05:40,520
I'LL JUST PAY THE BILL
91
00:05:41,020 --> 00:05:42,020
AGAIN.
92
00:05:44,030 --> 00:05:46,530
FORGET IT, FAY.
I DON'T CARE
ABOUT THE MONEY.
93
00:05:46,530 --> 00:05:48,530
UH, WOULD IT BE ALL RIGHT
IF I GIVE YOU A CHECK?
94
00:05:49,030 --> 00:05:50,530
FAY,
I'M NOT GOING TO ACCEPT IT.
95
00:05:50,530 --> 00:05:53,540
I HAVE 2 FORMS
OF IDENTIFICATION.
96
00:05:53,540 --> 00:05:54,670
FAY.
97
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,580
MY BANK HAS A SERVICE CHARGE
OF 5 CENTS FOR EACH CHECK.
98
00:06:08,020 --> 00:06:10,520
PLEASE EXCUSE ME, FAY.
99
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:11,520
HERE YOU GO.
100
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,020
I COULDN'T TAKE THIS, HELEN.
101
00:06:15,020 --> 00:06:17,030
I KNOW HOW MUCH
A NICKEL MEANS TO YOU.
102
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:22,370
(Brian)
ROY, ROY.
103
00:06:22,370 --> 00:06:24,370
[clears throat]
DID YOUR PILOTS
REPORT SEEING
104
00:06:24,370 --> 00:06:26,670
ANYTHING STRANGE TONIGHT?
I MEAN, BESIDES YOUR TIE?
105
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,540
WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT,
HACKETT?
106
00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:33,040
JOE AND I SAW A U.F.O.
107
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,810
[Helen gasping]
REALLY?
A U.F.O.
108
00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:36,310
OH, I LOVE THAT STUFF.
109
00:06:36,310 --> 00:06:37,750
YOU KNOW, CLOSE ENCOUNTERS
OF THE THIRD KIND,
110
00:06:37,750 --> 00:06:39,250
THAT'S ONE OF
MY FAVORITE MOVIES.
111
00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:41,850
YOU KNOW HOW
THAT BIG MOTHER SHIP
PASSED OVERHEAD?
112
00:06:41,850 --> 00:06:44,190
AND, HEY!
WHO KNEW TRUFFAUT
COULD ACT, HUH?
113
00:06:44,190 --> 00:06:46,190
[laughing]
HAD THIS CUTE
LITTLE FRENCH ACCENT--
114
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:47,320
YO, HELEN,
CAN I JUST JUMP IN HERE?
115
00:06:47,820 --> 00:06:49,330
JUST FOR ONE SECOND.
WHAT DID IT LOOK LIKE?
116
00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:51,330
AH, WELL,
THERE WAS A BLUE LIGHT--
NO, I MEAN THE MOTHER SHIP.
117
00:06:51,330 --> 00:06:53,200
I NEVER SAW THE MOVIE.
WHAT DID IT LOOK LIKE?
118
00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:55,530
IT WAS THIS HUGE THING.
HAD LIGHTS ALL AROUND IT.
119
00:06:55,530 --> 00:06:57,530
HEY, HEY, HEY,
I--I SAW THE REAL THING
MYSELF, OK?
120
00:06:57,530 --> 00:07:00,540
THERE WAS A BLUE LIGHT,
SHOT FROM ONE PART OF THE SKY
TO THE OTHER
121
00:07:00,540 --> 00:07:02,540
IN LIKE 4 SECONDS, OK.
HOVERED THERE,
122
00:07:02,540 --> 00:07:04,540
SHOT STRAIGHT UP,
DISAPPEARED.
123
00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:05,840
WOW, THAT'S REALLY WEIRD.
124
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:07,640
NO, NOT REALLY,
I ALWAYS WONDERED
125
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:11,080
WHEN THE PEOPLE
FROM HIS PLANET WERE
GONNA COME BACK FOR HIM.
126
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,580
I'M NOT KIDDING AROUND, ROY.
I REALLY DID SEE THIS THING.
127
00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:15,380
WELL, YOU'RE NOT ALONE, BRIAN.
128
00:07:15,380 --> 00:07:18,890
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW CLAIMS
SHE WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS.
129
00:07:19,390 --> 00:07:21,390
CLAIMS THEY TOOK HER
ABOARD THEIR SPACESHIP,
130
00:07:21,390 --> 00:07:24,390
EXAMINED HER GENITALIA
AND THEN SENT HER BACK.
131
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:30,430
I CONTEND HER NEIGHBOR VERN
TOOK HER ABOARD HIS WINNEBAGO,
132
00:07:30,430 --> 00:07:33,500
BUT SHE'S STICKING
TO HER STORY.
133
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:37,010
THANK YOU, CARL SAGAN
FOR THAT CLOSE ENCOUNTER
OF THE STUPID KIND.
134
00:07:37,010 --> 00:07:40,340
NOW, WOULD YOU GET OUT
OF HERE AND FINISH WORKING
ON THAT TOWER SPOTLIGHT, HUH?
135
00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:43,450
BRIAN, MAYBE THAT SPOTLIGHT
IS WHAT YOU SAW.
136
00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:45,010
YEAH, FAY'S PROBABLY RIGHT
137
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:46,780
EXCEPT YOU CAN SEE IT
A LOT BETTER
138
00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:49,790
ONCE I TAKE IT OUT
OF THE TRUCK
AND FINISH ASSEMBLING IT.
139
00:07:49,790 --> 00:07:51,220
HACKETT, HACKETT.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN ANYTHING.
140
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,120
IT COULD HAVE BEEN
HEAT LIGHTNING,
141
00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:54,420
THE NORTHERN LIGHTS,
A METEOR.
142
00:07:54,660 --> 00:07:55,660
A BIG, FLORESCENT EAGLE.
143
00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:57,090
THERE YOU GO.
144
00:07:57,090 --> 00:07:58,490
IT COULD HAVE BEEN
A WEATHER BALLOON.
145
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,330
M-MOVING AT THE SPEED
OF LIGHT?
146
00:08:00,330 --> 00:08:02,630
WELL, YOU KNOW,
WHEN THE AIR'S LEAKING OUT,
THEY JUST...
147
00:08:02,630 --> 00:08:05,130
[spitting]
148
00:08:05,130 --> 00:08:07,640
DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT,
LOWELL?
149
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,140
WELL, YOU DO IF YOU WANT
TO MAKE THE...
150
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,640
[spitting]
SOUND.
151
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,170
LOOK, LOOK,
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,
152
00:08:12,170 --> 00:08:15,180
THEN WHY DON'T YOU
JUST ASK JOE,
BECAUSE HE SAW IT ALSO. RIGHT?
153
00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:16,180
SAW WHAT?
154
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,680
THE U.F.O.
THEY DON'T BELIEVE
THAT WE SAW IT.
155
00:08:21,380 --> 00:08:23,390
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, BRIAN.
STOP FOOLING AROUND.
156
00:08:23,390 --> 00:08:24,390
IT'S BEEN A LONG NIGHT.
157
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:28,960
I KNOW WHAT I SAW.
158
00:08:29,290 --> 00:08:31,290
GEE, HACKETT,
159
00:08:31,290 --> 00:08:33,300
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.
160
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:34,900
OH, YES, I DO.
161
00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:36,400
NA-NU, NA-NU, NA-NU!
162
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,500
HEY, UH,
163
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:42,010
DO ME A FAVOR,
WILL YOU, JOE?
164
00:08:42,510 --> 00:08:44,510
CAN YOU SEE IF THERE'S
A LARGE DAGGER
165
00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:47,010
STICKING OUT OF MY BACK?
OH, THAT'S RIGHT. SORRY.
166
00:08:47,010 --> 00:08:49,250
YOU DON'T
SEE ANYTHING.
167
00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:50,750
BRIAN, YOU SAW IT.
168
00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:52,750
I SAW IT. THE MANNEQUINS
IN THE PLANE SAW IT.
169
00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:54,250
BUT IF WORD GETS OUT
ABOUT THIS,
170
00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:56,250
WE'RE GONNA BE KNOWN
AS CRACKPOT AIRLINES.
171
00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:58,250
WELL, EXCUSE ME,
BUT IT'S DIFFICULT FOR ME
TO BE QUIET
172
00:08:58,250 --> 00:09:01,260
ABOUT THE MOST EXCITING
EXPERIENCE I'VE EVER HAD
IN AN AIRPLANE.
173
00:09:01,260 --> 00:09:02,760
WAIT--WAIT A SECOND.
174
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,260
SECOND MOST EXCITING...
175
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,260
THIRD...
176
00:09:07,260 --> 00:09:08,700
DO HELICOPTERS COUNT?
177
00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:11,600
LOOK, LOOK,
BUSINESS IS BAD ENOUGH.
178
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,100
WE CAN'T AFFORD ANY BAD PRESS.
179
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:15,040
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
I SEE YOUR POINT.
180
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,040
I WON'T MENTION A WORD
OF THIS TO ANYBODY ELSE.
181
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:21,010
WHERE ARE THOSE PILOT
IRREGULARITY FORMS?
182
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:23,010
NO, YOU--YOU ARE NOT
FILING A REPORT ON THIS
TO THE F.A.A.
183
00:09:23,510 --> 00:09:25,010
THERE'S NO WAY I WANT THIS
ON PERMANENT RECORD.
184
00:09:25,510 --> 00:09:27,520
JOE, JOE, YOU KNOW
AS WELL AS ANYBODY ELSE
185
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:31,320
THAT IF A PILOT SEES SOMETHING
OUT OF THE ORDINARY,
HE'S REQUIRED TO REPORT IT.
186
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,090
NORMALLY, I WOULD AGREE--
WELL, WHAT ARE WE
SUPPOSED DO?
187
00:09:33,590 --> 00:09:34,520
ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO FORGET ABOUT IT?
188
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,390
MAYBE THE F.A.A.
CAN EXPLAIN THIS.
189
00:09:36,390 --> 00:09:38,390
OR MAYBE SOMEBODY'S
ALREADY MADE OUT A REPORT.
190
00:09:38,390 --> 00:09:39,800
DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW
WHAT WE SAW?
191
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,300
YES, OF COURSE I DO,
192
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:44,300
BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
THE RAMIFICATIONS OF THIS,
BRIAN.
193
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:47,100
RAMIFICATIONS.
DO YOU REMEMBER
FRED ATKINS?
194
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:48,970
YEAH, HE FLEW CHARTER
OUT OF NEW BEDFORD.
195
00:09:49,270 --> 00:09:51,040
RIGHT, WELL,
HE REPORTED SEEING A U.F.O.
196
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:54,040
THE NEXT THING HE KNEW,
HE WAS BLACKLISTED.
THEY BROKE HIM.
197
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,550
LAST I HEARD, HE WAS
SITTING ON THE CORNER
OF 3RD AND MAIN,
198
00:09:56,550 --> 00:09:57,550
SELLING USED CHEWING GUM.
199
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:02,190
THAT WAS FRED ATKINS?
YOU BETCHA.
200
00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:04,190
THAT GUM WAS USED?
201
00:10:12,030 --> 00:10:14,460
HERE'S YOUR WATER, FAY.
CAN I GET YOU
ANYTHING ELSE?
202
00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:16,870
NO, THANK YOU,
I BROUGHT MY LUNCH.
203
00:10:16,870 --> 00:10:18,740
UH, WHAT DO I OWE YOU
FOR THE WATER?
204
00:10:18,730 --> 00:10:20,240
NOTHING.
205
00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:23,610
THAT NAPKIN WILL
BE $42.50.
206
00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:24,940
I PAID YOU.
207
00:10:25,410 --> 00:10:26,410
OH, I BEG TO DIFFER.
208
00:10:26,410 --> 00:10:28,740
YOU CAN BEG ALL YOU WANT,
I'M NOT PAYING YOU AGAIN.
209
00:10:28,740 --> 00:10:30,010
LADIES, LADIES.
210
00:10:30,010 --> 00:10:33,020
NOW THIS HAS GONE ON
FOR OVER A WEEK.
211
00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:35,520
I'M SEEING A BEAUTIFUL
FRIENDSHIP TORN ASUNDER,
212
00:10:36,020 --> 00:10:37,520
RENT IN TWAIN,
213
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,020
BIFURCATED.
214
00:10:40,020 --> 00:10:41,020
LOWELL,
HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING
215
00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:43,530
TO THOSE STUPID
VOCABULARY TAPES AGAIN?
216
00:10:43,530 --> 00:10:45,130
INDUBITABLY.
217
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,300
WELL, I KNOW HOW TO
SOLVE THIS ALTERCATION.
218
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,300
PLEASE ENLIGHTEN US.
219
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:53,300
WHAT?
220
00:10:57,310 --> 00:10:58,670
TELL US HOW.
221
00:10:58,670 --> 00:11:01,280
WELL, YOU CAN DO
WHAT THE WIFE AND I DO.
222
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:02,280
ARM-WRESTLE.
223
00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:05,250
WELL, BUT YOU TWO CAN
LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES ON.
224
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:06,250
OR NOT.
225
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:11,450
LOWELL, I'M NOT GOING
TO ARM-WRESTLE FAY.
226
00:11:11,450 --> 00:11:13,460
[imitating chicken clucking]
227
00:11:16,630 --> 00:11:18,930
ARE YOU
CALLING ME A CHICKEN?
228
00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:20,200
IF THE BEAK FITS.
229
00:11:23,530 --> 00:11:25,530
OK, YOU GOT IT.
LET'S DO IT.
230
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,040
GREAT. I'LL REFEREE.
231
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,040
I LOVE A GOOD CATFIGHT.
232
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:32,540
ALL RIGHT, LADIES.
233
00:11:32,540 --> 00:11:35,040
WE'RE PLAYING BY THE MARQUIS
OF QUEENSBURY RULES HERE.
234
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:38,050
ELBOWS ON THE TABLE
AT ALL TIMES.
235
00:11:38,050 --> 00:11:40,050
SPITTING, BITING
AND SCRATCHING
236
00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:42,550
ARE, OF COURSE,
REAL CROWD PLEASERS.
237
00:11:42,550 --> 00:11:43,550
ALL RIGHT, LADIES,
238
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,190
READY,
239
00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:46,620
SET,
240
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:48,560
GO.
241
00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:52,730
GIVE IT UP, FAY.
242
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,830
IN YOUR DREAMS.
243
00:11:55,970 --> 00:11:57,970
HELEN, I SAW A COCKROACH
244
00:11:57,970 --> 00:11:59,470
SCURRY UNDER YOUR COUNTER
245
00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:01,970
AND I FOLLOWED HIM.
YOU KNOW, LIKE I USUALLY DO.
246
00:12:01,970 --> 00:12:04,270
AND THEN I--
LOWELL, CAN THIS WAIT?
247
00:12:04,270 --> 00:12:06,280
WELL, I THOUGHT IT WAS...
248
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,280
PERTINENT.
249
00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:10,780
ANYWAY, I...
250
00:12:10,780 --> 00:12:14,080
I FOUND THIS ENVELOPE.
IT'S GOT $42.50 IN IT.
251
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,820
THAT'S THE MONEY
I GAVE YOU.
252
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:19,120
IT MUST HAVE FALLEN
OFF THE COUNTER, FAY.
253
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,030
I GUESS THERE'S NO REASON
TO KEEP DOING THIS.
254
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,860
SO WHY DON'T WE JUST QUIT?
255
00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:29,130
FINE. LET GO.
NO, YOU LET GO.
256
00:12:29,470 --> 00:12:32,300
NO, YOU LET GO FIRST.
NO, I-I'M NOT FALLING
FOR THAT OLD TRICK.
257
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:34,900
IT FLEW STRAIGHT UP
258
00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:36,910
AND IT DISAPPEARED.
259
00:12:36,910 --> 00:12:38,410
SO,
260
00:12:38,410 --> 00:12:40,580
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
INSPECTOR HANSON?
261
00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:44,580
WELL, THAT'S
A VERY INTERESTING STORY,
MR. HACKETT
262
00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:48,580
BUT I'M AFRAID THE F.A.A.
CAN'T TAKE YOUR REPORT
AT FACE VALUE.
263
00:12:48,580 --> 00:12:50,590
THERE ARE A FEW THINGS
WE'VE FOUND
264
00:12:51,090 --> 00:12:54,090
THAT CAST SOME DOUBT
ON YOUR, UH, CREDIBILITY.
265
00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:55,590
MY CREDIBILITY. LIKE WHAT?
266
00:12:55,590 --> 00:12:57,530
WELL, IT SAYS HERE
267
00:12:57,530 --> 00:13:01,530
YOU ONCE REPORTED
SEEING AMELIA EARHART
268
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,030
OVER THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE.
269
00:13:03,370 --> 00:13:06,130
YEAH, YES, THAT WAS JUST--
I WAS PLAYING A LITTLE JOKE
270
00:13:06,140 --> 00:13:07,500
ON A BUDDY OF MINE,
THAT'S ALL.
271
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,840
OH!
272
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:09,840
A JOKE.
(Brian)
YEAH.
273
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:11,840
[feigning laughter]
274
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,210
LIKE THIS U.F.O. SIGHTING?
275
00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:19,150
NO, NO, THIS IS DIFFERENT.
276
00:13:19,150 --> 00:13:21,350
WELL, HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT?
277
00:13:21,350 --> 00:13:24,650
WELL, UH,
MY BROTHER JOE SAW IT,
FOR ONE.
278
00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:26,390
OH, REALLY?
MAYBE I SHOULD TALK TO HIM.
279
00:13:26,390 --> 00:13:28,290
NO, NO, YOU CAN'T.
280
00:13:28,290 --> 00:13:30,790
IT, WELL, IT WOULDN'T DO YOU
ANY GOOD ANYWAY.
BECAUSE HE'S A...
281
00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:31,730
MUTE.
282
00:13:32,630 --> 00:13:33,630
HE'S A MUTE.
283
00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:36,900
JOE, JOE, UH,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
284
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,400
[door closing]
I THOUGHT
IT WAS YOUR DAY OFF.
285
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,900
I HAVE SOME PAPERWORK.
286
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:41,900
HE SPEAKS.
IT'S A MIRACLE.
287
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,310
HI--HI,
I'M JOE HACKETT.
288
00:13:44,310 --> 00:13:47,710
SO YOU'RE THE OTHER ONE
WHO WAS PRESENT
AT THIS ALLEGED SIGHTING.
289
00:13:48,210 --> 00:13:50,210
INSPECTOR HANSON,
F.A.A.
290
00:13:51,710 --> 00:13:53,220
YOU WENT AND FILED
THAT REPORT, DIDN'T YOU?
291
00:13:53,220 --> 00:13:55,680
OH, HE SURE DID.
292
00:13:56,590 --> 00:13:59,090
FRANKLY, OFF THE RECORD,
I'M SURPRISED.
293
00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:02,090
IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR SOME ATTENTION
FOR YOUR LITTLE AIRLINE HERE,
294
00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:04,630
THIS IS THE WRONG KIND.
295
00:14:04,630 --> 00:14:06,130
LISTEN, UH,
IS THERE ANY WAY
296
00:14:06,130 --> 00:14:08,600
THAT WE CAN MAKE
THIS REPORT DISAPPEAR?
297
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,600
I'M AFRAID
IT'S A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT.
298
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,600
HAVE A NICE DAY.
299
00:14:17,710 --> 00:14:19,710
WHAT THE HELL
DID YOU THINK
YOU WERE DOING?
300
00:14:19,710 --> 00:14:22,210
I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.
I WANTED TO FIND OUT
WHAT WE SAW.
301
00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:24,210
YOU BETTER HOPE NOTHING
COMES OF THIS, BRIAN.
302
00:14:24,210 --> 00:14:26,720
YOU BETTER HOPE
IT GETS BURIED UNDER TONS
OF BUREAUCRATIC PAPERWORK
303
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,720
AND NO ONE ELSE HEARS
A THING ABOUT IT,
YOU KNOW WHY?
304
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:32,220
PLEASE TELL ME WHY, JOE.
I WANT YOU TO GO ON
AND ON AND ON ABOUT THIS.
305
00:14:32,220 --> 00:14:35,460
BECAUSE IF I LOSE MY BUSINESS,
I'M HOLDING YOU
PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE.
306
00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:37,830
OH, COME ON!
LOOK, ALL I WANT FROM YOU
307
00:14:37,830 --> 00:14:41,360
IS A PROMISE
THAT THIS GOES NO FURTHER.
NOT A WORD.
308
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,370
OK, OK, FINE,
YOU HAVE MY WORD.
309
00:14:43,370 --> 00:14:45,870
FROM NOW ON MY STORY IS:
THE ONLY THING
I SAW THAT NIGHT
310
00:14:45,870 --> 00:14:47,870
IS THE SKY,
THE STARS, THE MOON,
311
00:14:48,870 --> 00:14:50,370
AND YOU, JOE HACKETT.
312
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,950
ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL
OF AEROMASS FLIGHT 14
313
00:14:58,450 --> 00:14:59,980
FROM HARTFORD.
314
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:02,490
WE AT AEROMASS WOULD LIKE
TO CONGRATULATE
OUR COLLEAGUES
315
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,490
AT SANDPIPER AIR
FOR THE INAUGURATION
316
00:15:04,490 --> 00:15:08,490
OF THEIR NEW NONSTOP SERVICE
TO THE PLANET ZOLDAR.
317
00:15:10,230 --> 00:15:12,230
IS THERE
A BRIAN HACKETT HERE?
318
00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:15,630
BRIAN HACKETT?
YEAH, THAT'S ME.
319
00:15:15,630 --> 00:15:18,470
WELL, MY COLLEAGUES AND I
LEARNED ABOUT
YOUR U.F.O. SIGHTING.
320
00:15:18,470 --> 00:15:20,970
UH--UH, NOW,
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT A U.F.O.
321
00:15:20,970 --> 00:15:23,410
WE JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
322
00:15:23,910 --> 00:15:24,910
WE'VE SEEN IT, TOO.
323
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,830
SO, EXACTLY WHO ARE YOU?
324
00:15:44,330 --> 00:15:46,830
WE'RE JUST PEOPLE
FROM DIFFERENT PARTS
OF THE COUNTRY
325
00:15:46,830 --> 00:15:47,830
AND DIFFERENT WALKS OF LIFE
326
00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:49,830
WHO HAPPEN TO SHARE
THE COMMON EXPERIENCE
327
00:15:50,330 --> 00:15:52,330
OF HAVING SEEN A U.F.O.
328
00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:54,270
AND BECAUSE OF THE SKEPTICISM
WE'VE ENCOUNTERED
329
00:15:54,270 --> 00:15:56,270
FROM THE GOVERNMENT,
AMONG OTHERS,
330
00:15:56,270 --> 00:15:59,540
WE DECIDED TO FORM
OUR OWN INDEPENDENT
INVESTIGATIVE UNIT.
331
00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:01,180
WELL, I'M-- I'M AFRAID
ALL YOU PEOPLE HAVE COME
332
00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:02,180
AN AWFUL LONG WAY
FOR NOTHING,
333
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:03,680
BECAUSE I DIDN'T
SEE ANYTHING.
334
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,620
MR. HACKETT,
WE HAVE AN INFORMANT
AT THE F.A.A.
335
00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:08,120
WE KNOW
YOU REPORTED A SIGHTING.
336
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,720
WHO ARE YOU, THE K.G.B.?
337
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,490
I--I TELL YOU WHAT,
WHY DON'T WE JUST
BYPASS THE RUBBER HOSES
338
00:16:12,490 --> 00:16:15,990
AND GO STRAIGHT ON TO LUDMILA
AND THE COMPROMISING
VIDEOTAPE, OK?
339
00:16:16,490 --> 00:16:18,490
WE ALL UNDERSTAND
WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH,
MR. HACKETT.
340
00:16:18,490 --> 00:16:21,000
UH, PLEASE,
CALL ME X.R.Q. 24.
341
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,230
WE'RE ALL JUST
ORDINARY PEOPLE.
342
00:16:24,730 --> 00:16:25,600
I'M A BOOKKEEPER.
343
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,400
AL TEACHES PHYSICS
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
344
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,400
TOM'S A DENTIST.
345
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,840
JOHN'S A CONTRACTOR.
346
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,340
AND I'M A PILOT.
THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING
TO CAREER DAY.
347
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,480
YOU KNOW, NONE OF US
WANTED TO SEE A U.F.O.
348
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,810
WE DIDN'T ASK
FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.
IT WAS THRUST UPON US.
349
00:16:38,810 --> 00:16:40,620
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I--I ALREADY
TOLD THE F.A.A. MY STORY.
350
00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:43,120
I DON'T FEEL LIKE
SOUNDING LIKE A JACKASS
TWICE IN ONE DAY.
351
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,950
LOOK, MR. HACKETT,
I--I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL.
352
00:16:45,950 --> 00:16:47,920
I'M A VERY
SUCCESSFUL CONTRACTOR,
353
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,430
BUT WHO WANTS
THEIR KITCHEN REMODELED
354
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:53,260
BY SOME WHACKO WHO
SAW A U.F.O. OVER
HIS GRANDSON'S TREE HOUSE.
355
00:16:53,260 --> 00:16:54,760
WHO'D THEY SEND
TO TALK TO YOU?
356
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,270
UH, AN INSPECTOR HANSON.
357
00:16:56,770 --> 00:16:57,900
OH, HANSON.
358
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:00,900
NOW, THEY NEVER SEND
HANSON OUT UNLESS
THEY WANT TO STOP A REPORT
359
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,400
DEAD IN ITS TRACKS.
360
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,240
SO, YOUR SIGHTING
MUST HAVE BEEN SIGNIFICANT.
361
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,910
WELL, I-- YOU KNOW...
362
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:09,010
I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING.
363
00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:10,880
OK, OK, I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT YOU SAW.
364
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,380
IT WAS A BLUE LIGHT.
365
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,380
IT FLEW FROM ONE SIDE
OF THE SKY TO THE OTHER
IN A MATTER OF SECONDS.
366
00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:19,990
AT THAT POINT IT EITHER MADE
A LOOP OR IT FLEW STRAIGHT UP
AND DISAPPEARED.
367
00:17:19,990 --> 00:17:21,090
(Joe)
IT FLEW STRAIGHT UP.
368
00:17:24,330 --> 00:17:25,330
SO YOU SAW IT, TOO.
369
00:17:25,330 --> 00:17:27,330
OH, OH, OH,
SO APPARENTLY RATS
370
00:17:27,330 --> 00:17:29,830
THAT DESERT A SINKING SHIP
CAN GET BACK ON BOARD.
OK, FINE.
371
00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:34,440
SO, EXACTLY
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?
372
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,610
WE WANT YOU
TO TAKE US UP IN YOUR PLANE.
373
00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:37,940
TONIGHT?
374
00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:40,440
IN NEW MEXICO
THEY HAD SIGHTINGS
FOR 6 STRAIGHT NIGHTS.
375
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,410
IF THE SAME HOLDS TRUE HERE,
THIS IS A PERFECT
WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY.
376
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:45,780
EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME.
SO, COME ON, JOE,
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
377
00:17:45,780 --> 00:17:47,180
COME ON, WHAT ELSE
ARE YOU GOING TO DO BESIDES?
378
00:17:47,180 --> 00:17:48,920
YOU'RE GOING TO STAY HOME
AND WATCH T.V.?
379
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:52,350
WELL, I STILL HAVE 5 HOURS
OF THE CIVIL WAR
TO GET THROUGH.
380
00:17:52,350 --> 00:17:53,860
LET ME SAVE YOU SOME TIME.
THE NORTH WINS.
381
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:56,890
COME ON, JOE.
PLEASE, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
COME ON.
382
00:17:56,890 --> 00:17:59,330
ALL RIGHT, I'M WITH YOU.
GREAT, LET'S GO.
383
00:18:03,830 --> 00:18:05,730
HEY, JOE, UH,
JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY,
384
00:18:05,730 --> 00:18:07,670
WHAT MADE YOU
CHANGE YOUR MIND?
385
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,170
WELL, BEFORE THESE PEOPLE
CAME ALONG,
386
00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:12,170
THE ONLY PERSON
THAT COULD CORROBORATE
MY STORY WAS YOU.
387
00:18:12,170 --> 00:18:14,540
NO OFFENSE, BRIAN,
BUT GIVE ME A BREAK.
388
00:18:22,820 --> 00:18:26,320
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
OUR INVITING A REPORTER
FROM THE LOCAL PAPER ALONG.
389
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:27,790
NO, I GUESS IT'S OK.
390
00:18:28,220 --> 00:18:30,430
ANYTHING WE CAN DO,
TO FURTHER THE CAUSE
OF SCIENCE.
391
00:18:30,430 --> 00:18:32,430
KIND OF GLAD YOU CAME ALONG,
AREN'T YOU?
392
00:18:32,430 --> 00:18:33,930
YEAH, I REALLY AM.
393
00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:35,930
I HAVEN'T SAID MUCH ABOUT IT
THESE LAST FEW DAYS.
394
00:18:36,430 --> 00:18:38,700
BUT IT HAS BEEN
ON MY MIND CONSTANTLY.
395
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,240
(reporter)
MR. HACKETT,
396
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,740
WHAT DO YOU HOPE
TO ACCOMPLISH TONIGHT?
397
00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:45,240
WELL, WE DON'T KNOW THAT
WE'LL ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING.
398
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,740
IDEALLY, WE HOPE TO SEE
ANOTHER U.F.O.,
399
00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:49,750
BUT IF NOT, AT THE VERY LEAST
400
00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:51,750
WE'D LIKE TO
ENCOURAGE OTHER PEOPLE
401
00:18:51,750 --> 00:18:53,750
WHO HAVE SEEN
WHAT WE'VE SEEN
TO STEP FORWARD
402
00:18:53,750 --> 00:18:55,250
AND LET THEIR VOICES BE HEARD.
403
00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:57,750
YEAH, YEAH,
THAT AND TO MEET WOMEN.
404
00:18:59,990 --> 00:19:02,490
THANKS.
405
00:19:02,490 --> 00:19:05,490
AH, THERE'S THE LIGHTHOUSE.
WE'RE GETTING CLOSE
TO THE SPOT WHERE WE SAW IT.
406
00:19:05,490 --> 00:19:07,000
IS THERE ANYTHING
ON THE MONITOR?
407
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,000
NOT YET.
408
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,130
THAT'S PRETTY FANCY-LOOKING
EQUIPMENT YOU GOT THERE.
WHAT DOES IT DO?
409
00:19:11,130 --> 00:19:12,640
WE DISCOVERED
IN PREVIOUS SIGHTINGS
410
00:19:12,630 --> 00:19:14,640
THAT THERE WAS A DROP
IN ATMOSPHERIC IONIZATION
411
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:18,840
WITHIN A 3-KILOMETER RADIUS,
SO WE BROUGHT ALONG
AN IONIZATION COUNTER.
412
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,340
[beeping]
ALSO A HIGH-SPEED,
INFRARED CAMERA,
413
00:19:20,340 --> 00:19:23,150
GRAVITATIONAL FLUX MONITOR
AND AN ELECTRONIC
TRIANGULATOR.
414
00:19:23,150 --> 00:19:26,450
HMM, YOU GUYS GET
THE HOME-SHOPPING CHANNEL
ON CABLE, DON'T YOU?
415
00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:28,450
[beeping]
UH, I'M GETTING
A READING.
416
00:19:28,450 --> 00:19:31,450
4.56 BY 32
ON THE GRID.
417
00:19:31,450 --> 00:19:33,460
IONIZATION 50 M.K.G.
AND FALLING.
418
00:19:33,460 --> 00:19:37,460
MAGNITUDE 3,
FLUCTUATING AT 550.
419
00:19:37,460 --> 00:19:38,760
OH, I DON'T
SEE ANYTHING YET.
420
00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:40,500
PREPARE FOR
A CLOSE ENCOUNTER.
421
00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:43,900
THIS IS GETTING EXCITING.
422
00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:45,730
I HOPE THEY KNOW
WE COME IN PEACE.
423
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:55,980
JOE, DON'T...
424
00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:58,280
DON'T TURN AROUND.
WHY?
425
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,020
JUST TRUST ME
ON THIS ONE. JUST DON'T.
426
00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:02,650
NO, NO, JOE, DON'T! DON'T!
427
00:20:02,650 --> 00:20:03,650
OH!
428
00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:05,950
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HEY, NO, NO.
429
00:20:05,950 --> 00:20:08,760
"JOE HACKETT,
OWNER OF SANDPIPER AIRLINES
430
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:12,260
AND LEADER
OF U.F.O. EXPEDITION
DEMONSTRATES ALIEN SALUTE."
431
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:17,770
THIS IS SO HUMILIATING.
432
00:20:17,770 --> 00:20:20,770
YOU KNOW, JOE, YOU SHOULD
WEAR HATS MORE OFTEN.
YOU LOOK GOOD IN FOIL.
433
00:20:21,140 --> 00:20:21,970
GOOD NIGHT, FELLAS.
434
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:23,970
GOOD NIGHT, ROY.
HEY, AND, YOU KNOW, ROY,
435
00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:25,970
YOU HAVEN'T SAID
A THING ABOUT THIS ALL DAY.
436
00:20:25,970 --> 00:20:27,980
I'M GETTING KIND OF NERVOUS.
437
00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:29,780
GO AHEAD, MOCK US.
YOU HAVE A RIGHT.
438
00:20:30,050 --> 00:20:32,080
OH, NO, NO, HACKETT,
THIS IS, UH,
439
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,580
THIS IS TOO EASY
FOR A MAN OF MY TALENTS.
440
00:20:35,580 --> 00:20:37,590
IT WOULD BE LIKE
HOOKING A DEAD FISH.
441
00:20:39,090 --> 00:20:41,090
YOU'VE TAKEN ALL THE SPORT
OUT OF IT.
442
00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:43,590
GOOD NIGHT, FELLAS.
443
00:20:43,890 --> 00:20:46,130
[Roy whistling]
HE MAY BE SLIME,
BUT HE'S GOT STANDARDS.
444
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:48,560
GOOD NIGHT, BOYS.
445
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:49,930
(both)
NIGHT, FAY.
446
00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:50,930
HOW'S YOUR ARM,
HELEN?
447
00:20:51,430 --> 00:20:53,440
AH, IT'S A LITTLE SORE,
BUT I'LL BE FINE.
448
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,370
GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
WHO WON
THE ARM-WRESTLING MATCH?
449
00:20:55,370 --> 00:20:56,740
OH, FAY LICKED ME.
450
00:20:56,740 --> 00:20:58,240
AH, SHE BEAT YOU, HUH?
451
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,740
NO, SHE LICKED ME.
SHE LITERALLY LICKED MY HAND.
452
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,250
I WAS SO STARTLED
SHE CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD,
PINNED ME TO THE TABLE.
453
00:21:06,620 --> 00:21:09,420
EXPERIENCE BEATS YOUTH
EVERY TIME.
454
00:21:12,420 --> 00:21:15,420
WE DID SEE SOMETHING
OUT THERE, DIDN'T WE, JOE?
YES, WE DID.
455
00:21:15,420 --> 00:21:18,430
I MEAN,
WE MIGHT NOT KNOW WHAT IT WAS,
BUT IT WAS THERE, RIGHT?
456
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,000
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
457
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,500
DO YOU BELIEVE
THERE ARE ACTUALLY
ALIEN SPACECRAFTS UP THERE
458
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:26,500
MAKING VISITS TO EARTH?
459
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:28,500
I DON'T KNOW.
460
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:30,810
IT SOUNDS CRAZY. BUT I MEAN,
THERE ARE PLENTY OF THINGS
THAT YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN.
461
00:21:30,810 --> 00:21:35,310
THE EASTER ISLAND STATUES
AND THOSE CIRCLES
IN THE ENGLISH WHEAT FIELDS.
462
00:21:35,310 --> 00:21:37,810
WHY DECAF COFFEEPOTS
ARE ORANGE, YOU KNOW.
463
00:21:39,310 --> 00:21:41,150
YOU LOOK UP AT THE SKY,
464
00:21:41,150 --> 00:21:44,120
ALL THE STARS,
THE VASTNESS
OF THE UNIVERSE...
465
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:45,620
AND IT MAKES YOU REALIZE
HOW ARROGANT WE ARE
466
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,620
TO THINK THAT EARTH
IS THE ONLY PLANET WITH LIFE.
467
00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:51,630
MAKES YOU FEEL
KINDA INSIGNIFICANT,
DOESN'T IT?
468
00:21:51,630 --> 00:21:54,130
NOT WHEN MY SHOES
ARE SHINED.
469
00:21:54,130 --> 00:21:56,130
WELL, I DON'T CARE
WHAT ANYONE SAYS,
470
00:21:56,130 --> 00:21:59,070
I THINK THERE'S GOT TO BE
INTELLIGENT LIFE FORMS
UP THERE SOMEWHERE.
471
00:21:59,470 --> 00:22:00,570
[whirring]
472
00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:02,070
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
473
00:22:02,070 --> 00:22:05,570
(Lowell)
HEY, GUYS, I FINALLY GOT
THIS STUPID LIGHT TO WORK.
474
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,080
AH, IF YOU THINK
IT'S BRIGHT NOW,
WATCH THIS.
475
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,880
[whirring]
476
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,150
[electricity surges]
477
00:22:14,650 --> 00:22:16,150
WHOOPS.
478
00:22:16,150 --> 00:22:18,150
MEANWHILE, THE SEARCH
FOR INTELLIGENT LIFE
479
00:22:18,150 --> 00:22:19,660
HERE ON EARTH CONTINUES.
34378
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