Original subtitles

Right now I'm a nude model

and I would like to be a nude model.

When I get older, I can no longer get naked and my ass will be sagging.

I will be a mother, a wife and a kept woman.

1 work for myself, I do my own stuff, I couldn't care less about politicians.

Guys, what are politics?

- Come on! - What a luck!

Kassim, be sadder!

Let us feel that sense of neglect, even while you're playing.

- What should I do? - Don't speak with a Roman accent, ok?

Today we need you to be a foreigner, act like a foreigner, come on.

From the beginning, everybody!

Come on... No, where are you going?

Where did I end up?

I don't hear the enemy artillery shooting.

Claretta.

Where are you?

Am I still alive?

I think I am, thank God.

I'M BACK

- Who the hell is he? - Who knows, he looks like a homeless man.

Did someone tie him up?

He was lucky enough that they didn't set him on fire.

Where's my Claretta?

- Who? - Claretta Petacci.

- Petatch? - Who's that, a Romanian?

- She's Italian, for God's sake. - We're all Italian here.

Let's play, come on, before it gets dark!

- We're coming! - Who's going to be the goalkeeper?

Balilla Totti!

How do I get to piazza Venezia from here?

How would I know?

Am I in Rome or in Addis Abeba?

And if I'm in Rome, did they invade us?

The Abyssinians launched the counteroffensive.

Slippers, naked calves. What happened to the empire?

Selfie?

Me too!

Thank you.

My fellow Fascists, where did you go?

I had confined the Chinks on the Gran Sasso.

What do you want? Find yourself another place! Go!

But who could have thought of the Bengalis?

Madam!

A female of italic lineage.

Madam.

Madam, excuse me, by grace, what year is this?

What happened, is everything ok?

What? Hey.

YES TO SAME SEX MARRIAGE

FRIDAY, 28TH APRIL 2017

Gianni! What the... Gianni!

- Canaletti, good morning. - Good morning, Francesca.

- Do you like it? - Yes.

- Really? - Yes, it's a nice red.

- That's not red. - Is it not?

No, it's "Sunset in Miami", it makes me joyful.

Me too.

You know, I was a little sad this morning.

- Anxiety? - No, worse.

- Depression? - My period, it started today.

- The first day is awful. - Exactly, it gave me such a blow...

I know, I know.

- You know? - No!

A TV network is somewhat like a ship.

It can face dead calm, storms, bad weather,

the important thing is having a good captain in charge.

Daniele as a vice director did an excellent job.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you the new editorial manager.

Katia Bellini!

- Thank you, I am thrilled. - Don't mess up.

I won't.

I'm looking forward to work with each of you,

together and loyal to one goal,

destroying the competition and score a higher share.

To our friends of Canal Pin, you're up shit creek!

Pardon me.

Mr. Capogrossi, this is insane, Katia Bellini is not up to it!

Leonardi, you will still be vice director just in case...

Share! Share! Share!

Share!

- Leonardi, could I talk to you? - It's not a good time.

It will only take a moment, it's important.

- I'm not interested. - How do you know you're not interested?

The probability theory, I'm not interested in 99.9% of your suggestions.

- Come on, please. - Alright, you are fired.

- But I was never hired. - Is indefinitely suspended better?

What did I do? You can't send me away if you don't have good reason.

I hate your guts, that's good reason enough.

Believe me, Daniele, it would be an incredible documentary,

it's an essential film, we'd win Berlin, it's very important.

Rome, Esquilino area.

You're not going to talk about integration, please.

Few non-EU kids, their alcoholic parents...

- Absent mothers. - Exactly, yes.

And only one theme at the core of the story.

What does it mean to be Italian today?

No!

The self-propelled howitzer 445 didn't work.

The Bolzano cruiser never arrived.

Never surrender. We will annihilate Greece!

- I can see that you're feeling better. - Did he recover?

Yes.

Who are you?

Don't worry, you fell ill, we helped you.

- ls it 20177 - What did you think? 19457

- I have to go. - No.

- Relax. - Stay seated.

- Are you shooting a film around here? - A film?

I mean, do you always dress up like that?

No, I also wear black.

Sure, so do I, it makes you look slimmer.

What an idiot. Shall we call someone? A relative...

- A doctor. - Call my daughter, Edda.

- Do you have her number? - 2578.

Fascist party membership, women's list.

You're really good at it, you look exactly like him!

- Like who? - The Duce.

I am the Duce.

- Water with some sugar. - Yes, don't worry.

Yes.

What if this was a plan of the Wehrmacht?

Creating a parallel world to save me from the partisans.

What if they were secret agents playing two dimwit Roman news dealers?

No, that can't be, the Germans don't have this kind of imagination.

- Get me the newspapers. - Which ones?

All of them, I want to know why I'm here. The first step is acquiring information.

Alright, you can stay for a few days, as long as you don't raid our newsstand.

- Who do you think I am? - Benito Mussolini.

Apparently it is true, we didn't win the war.

Anglo-American planes unload more than a thousand tons of bombs on Rome,

causing more than 1500 victims.

I was humiliated, shot and hanged.

Hitler was right when he said you didn't deserve a man like me.

I died to absolve the entire [talian ruling class.

The whole ftalian population, indeed,

who otherwise would have been called to assume their own responsibility

for the long and warm support given to my government.

A sweet bun and a cappuccino.

Many second-rate actors tried to imitate me to no avail.

Silvio!

Illegal aliens can't jump!

The strength, the importance, the beauty of us.

Why don't you just fuck off!

Europe has been divided up as a beef carcass between two butchers,

the ultra-capitalist and the Stalinist, who cynically divided their limbs.

The war is never over.

in my absence [talians have changed 63 governments in 70 years.

Democracy is a rotting corpse.

Who are the good guys?

Who are the bad guys?

Where is our homeland?

I got it.

- I resurrected. - Yeah, here's another one.

- That's the story of our lives. - It was fate that brought me back here.

- What else could have done that? - The A train of the subway.

No, it's the providence that's giving me the courage to carry my mission forward.

The providence is giving me a second chance.

- Great. - Don't worry.

There are no second chances,

there's the possibility of making the same mistake twice.

I'll say goodbye after these words of wisdom.

- Bye, Duce. Bye, Crumb. - Bye, Pearl.

Remember the paprika tomorrow.

Yes, you really are obsessed with paprika!

Am I the prisoner of two pederasts? So much for the Wehrmacht plan.

He really loves paprika, he's really crazy about it!

I have to keep calm, I won't be intimidated.

I have to take them into the open.

I had the inverts interned in the Tremiti Islands.

"Faggots”, nowadays we say "faggots.

Now listen to me, mr. Faggot.

I have no intention of staying here a minute longer.

Kindly show me the way to my house.

- Yes, where do you live? - Villa Torlonia.

- You have to take the bus then. - Where?

Here, in piazza Matteotti.

I'd rather walk.

This has become a real hassle.

Tisha, little one, listen to me, your people is very hungry.

Are you hungry? Let me feel the hunger of your people, ok?

- I already had lunch. - Go play, go on, Tisha.

- It's not working, there's no poetry. - It's ready, uncle.

Dada, go to sleep, it's late.

Hush, mom, we're working to win Berlin.

We'd be lucky to win Locarno.

- Who's that funny guy? - That's me directing.

No, over there, that bald guy. He looks like Bisio.

No, sorry, I said my name, it's no good.

Alright, I'll change it.

It's Benito Mussolini.

One, two, three, action, go.

It was Prince Giovanni Torlonia Junior who rented the villa to the Duce,

for the symbolic sum of one lira per year.

Here is the bedroom where Benito used to sleep.

Excuse me, did you see a guy dressed like Mussolini?

What did you say your name was?

Canaletti, Andrea Canaletti, and you?

Mussolini, Benito Mussolini.

You never leave your character, it's brilliant!

- Do you already have a program? - Of course I do.

On what channel?

On every channel, particularly on the Suez canal.

A nation of 45 million souls can't really be free

if it has no free access to the ocean.

You should be in "Zelig™, a comedic monologue.

You could start it...

- What do you know about Egypt, Canaletti? - About Egypt?

Its capital is Cairo, it has the pyramids, Sharm El Sheikh, the camels...

Concise information, a schoolboy would have given a better answer.

You only have 220.000 men

and less than 30 days to conquer the entire country.

Where would you start attacking?

And how would you handle the situation with the British?

I forgot, you don't care about the British, right?

Who is "you"?

Canaletti, the code word is only one, categorical and demanding for everyone.

It is already flying across and lighting the hearts

from the Alps to the Indian Ocean.

Winning.

And we will win.

My goal is to travel across [taly.

And to reconquer it.

But it won't be an easy task.

I want to confess something to you, Canaletti.

It was the providence that sent me.

The providence sent me by your side.

- The providence sent you? - Of course, I'm a director.

- A director? - Well, yes.

- Cinematography is a very powerful mean. - Very.

In the hands of the government. What films have you directed?

"Sentinels of Bronze”, I don't think so.

No.

"Path of Gods", neither. "Black Jungle”?

No, I made no films, I am more of a documentarist, I'm on...

- Documentaries. - Yes.

A niche product. Which ones?

None yet, but a film about you would be great.

Say yes.

You might have not understood that I'm going to take you around Italy

and follow you with my camera.

I will recount about you in a way no one has ever done, we'll do something unique.

- 1 like that. - All expenses paid, of course.

Credit cards, everything.

- To Italy. - To Italy.

I can't let you borrow my Fiorino, it's my money, I work with it.

I have to pay for Dada's cafeteria, the gym and you too.

You're so shallow, come on.

- I need it for a few days! - No, forget about it.

I'm begging you.

If I win one of those festivals, I'll get on stage and say: "I love you.”

Alright, but that's the last time.

And you have to promise me, if this thing turns bad you'll come work with me.

The keys.

- Is this the vehicle? - Yes.

This is not a vehicle, it doesn't even have the anti-mine armor.

Come on!

What are you laughing at? I should have you in front of the firing squad.

It's yellow, made of tin.

I'm not getting on this toy car.

Balbo, Rossoni, Farinacci, my fellow Fascists, where are you?

Excuse me.

You haven't paid yet.

Coffee, juice and a sweet bun, it's 4.40

My dear sir, you have rendered a great service to your country.

You are withessing the beginning of an endeavor

you will be able to tell to your grandchildren.

And this is priceless.

We will take Italy back, Canaletti.

This time we will not fail.

We will polish Italy from north to south.

I would start from your uniform, it really stinks.

You keep using the fei form.

A man who does that seems submissive, middle-class, servile.

It should be banned from the vocabulary.

So would you rather be on first name terms?

You are cheeky, Canaletti.

But you were right on one thing.

This uniform stinks like the latrine of a Jew.

- I must wash this uniform. - Wash and iron?

- And iron. - You name?

- Benito Mussolini. - Benito Mussolini.

- No, we don't do underwear! - It's and order.

- We don't clean underwear, sir. - I'm not a sir, I'm the Duce.

We don't do it for anybody.

Please, you must wash it, I can't wear them anymore.

Madam, it's unbearable inside the car, it stinks.

- Mahadisha, do we wash underwear? - Yes? No, we don't.

- Wash my underwear. - We don't.

- You must wash my underwear. - We don't!

- I said you must wash my underwear! - But we don't!

No, come on now, I'll wash your underwear.

- This is a conspiracy, Canaletti. - Excuse us.

Benito Amilcare Andrea Mussolini.

The first field Marshal of the empire, the brand new Italian,

the aeronaut of thought.

Turn that contraption off immediately, I don't want to be immortalized like this.

Will he be able to re-establish the empire?

And stop blabbering about like a Luce film parody!

I want to travel around today's Italy, Canaletti, not in yesterday's.

The greatest responsibility lies with those who are in politics,

with those who don't realize how bad Italy is going.

The head of the family is the one leading the family,

at least that's what I've been taught.

in my opinion italy is a country for the elderly, not for us.

Duce.

Ok, so now you're the head of the government.

What would you do?

"I'm back”, 1.1 first take!

I would eliminate almost every political party

I'd leave only one or two parties max, that's all.

- Too many crooks. - I agree.

Well, you know how it is, you know what the Italian people are like?

As long as everyone can eat, we're good to go.

What we need is a revolution.

Very good.

A tax revolution. From north to south, no one pays taxes.

- What would they do? Nothing. - Nothing.

They would have to leave because they would have nothing to steal.

Didn't you vote for these politicians?

- No. - No, I don't vote, I never did.

I did vote once. But what are we voting for?

These guys are only taking us for a ride.

Would you agree on a dictatorship?

It would have to be a free dictatorship, though, not too dictatorial.

- With just one party. - Two at most.

Fascist but not too fascist.

An individual left to his own devices, unless he were a saint or a hero,

will always refuse to pay taxes, obey laws or go to war.

You're still shaving him? Cut his throat instead.

Let's not exaggerate or we would be degenerating into what they used to do.

We should be shaving them somewhere else.

Gentlemen, let's talk about today's Italy not of the past, please.

In Italy almost nothing works.

Prisons, hospitals, you name it.

But in the past there used to be a different kind of politicians,

but they were always stealing here and there,

and the population would do the same.

Canaletti, we have to talk about politics.

No more about anti-politics or civil society, just politics.

But Italians hate politicians.

Italians don't have to love politicians, they should love me.

We're really doing great.

This morning's video was seen almost 12.000 times.

And the comments are positive, too.

No, Duce, not the mini-bar, I'm paying for these.

Good grief.

Not the chips.

- The TV isn't working? - This is a TV?

And this is the remote control.

Private jets, luxury suites.

Now I'm definitely perfect,

before if I went down on my fours I looked like an appaloosa horse.

Today Marco and Matteo achieved the violence of the storm demons.

What a powerful means of propaganda to win back this country.

- It's been done. - By whom?

Berlusconi.

The onion is melting.

Excuse me.

All you do is eat, in Italy

- Sugar. - We'll cut in half this zucchini.

- Chef. - Cooks.

- Faster! - Cooks.

- Raviolis, bread. - Cooks.

- Two seconds. - Cooks.

We could also season the meat at the beginning.

I feel like sending one of these idiots in a white coat

to a field kitchen in Abyssinia.

Then come and talk to me about black currants omelettes.

- Are you married, Canaletti? - No.

I thought so.

What do you mean?

It takes courage to win over a woman, Canaletti.

And that's exactly what you're lacking.

Tell me something, you're not a faggot, are you?

If a dictatorship returns, I'll go to church every day

and start believing again that there is a Christ, a Madonna or someone.

Because sheep need a shepherd.

Excuse me.

At the end of the bridge we'll take a left and we're there.

Canaletti, to the left, never. We'll take the long way around it.

I'll take the responsibility, Italians don't want to work.

These people don't only need a leader, these people need a father.

The topic is: are there too many non-EU citizens.

But this doesn't have a specific meaning.

The question is how we can accommodate them.

From what we see on TV

many of them have cell phones, big muscles, Nike outfits.

Someone must benefit from this. They have 60 families coming here, so...

This is our local chicken, look.

I think mixing breeds never works. May 17

Chianina, that's a pure breed, right?

It's a native breed, yes, it's pure.

Now, if you crossbred a Chianina

with a Moroccan cow,

what would the outcome be?

- It would be a tragedy, because cows... - The breed is gone.

And that's exactly what's happening in Italy, Canaletti.

Yes, but people are not cannon fodder.

Pull over, Canaletti, I don't feel too well.

- What is this place? - It's piazzale Loreto.

What is going on?

What do they teach you in school?

I's not right for me to find them inside the house,

taking everything away from me.

We have to shoot them before they land. I swear, we can't take it anymore.

- And what would be the solution? - Terminating them.

Egyptians, Romanians, Albanians, and so forth.

Do you have a rank of the population that...

- A rank? - Yes, who's the worst?

Right now, I couldn't tell you because they are all alike, in my opinion.

I think the big problem

is that there is no one willing to shoulder the italian people.

-You can read? - Very well.

- Since when? - A very long time.

Really?

The nation's identity must be revamped. People wants answers, not only questions.

My son's teacher wants to have the crucifix removed from their class

out of respect for them?

They're the ones who came in our country, not the other way around!

I would just throw them in the sea like dogs, those despicable people.

You would throw them into the sea drowning women and children.

Yes.

- You say that and you don't feel ashamed. - No.

Then fish would feed on corpses.

And you, at a restaurant, would you pay for a sea bass fed on Abyssinians' meat?

- He's obviously joking. - I'm never joking, Canaletti.

You know what we would need? A revolution.

It's the plow that traces the furrow, but it's the sword that must defend it.

The plow and the blade are both of hardened steel

like faith in our hearts.

- I said that, - Latina, 1934. My father had a recording.

Dearest farmer.

Would you follow me? Would you fight at the forefront for me?

Gladly, but my daughter is getting married next week,

it's not a good time.

Dad!

- Dad! - That's my son-in-law.

Let me sing

With my guitar in my hands...

- What is this song, Canaletti? - It's an old Italian song.

I'm an Italian.

"I'm an Italian”, I like that.

What's the name of the fellow Fascist singing?

He's Toto Cutugno.

A partisan as president

And a car radio in my right hand...

"A partisan as president”! This southern guy has a sense of humor.

No, actually it really happened.

Sandro Pertini, he was the best.

What's the matter with the vehicle, Canaletti?

- Nothing, everything's fine. - I hope so, Canaletti.

I brought the Seventh Army to victory.

Come on, Duce.

And I find myself pushing a van of Campania dairy products.

Excuse me.

This is a gift for you.

Canaletti! Benito Mussolini, delighted.

- Laura. - How do you do, Canaletti.

My pleasure. And here's Filippo, my Jack Russell.

- Filippo. - Si.

Filippo, are you English?

- May 1? - Oh, sure.

- He loves animals. - How nice.

Are you shooting a film?

More or less, yes, a docudrama which I'm writing and directing.

It's called "I'm back".

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

You know, my husband used to work in Rai?

Yes, he was a programmer-director, but then he died.

Sorry to hear that.

Filippo, what are you doing, you're not talking?

Is the enemy listening?

Good luck with your film.

Yes, we'd like to present it at a festival in Berlin.

How nice.

But you shouldn't wish me luck for the film, it's bad luck.

Oh, I'm sorry.

- What is he doing? - He's playing with him.

Did he kick him? - No, it's a game.

- He shot him. - No, Filippo!

- What the hell are you doing? - Filippo!

What did you do? Sorry, madam.

Murderers!

What the hell were you thinking?

The acts of war are answered by acts of war.

- You are crazy! - No, it was Filippo who was English.

You really are crazy.

It was the only language he could understand.

Give me back my gun, it's mine.

No, you can't go around with a loaded gun!

- You might shoot someone, you can't! - 1 can!

What a lunatic.

Who is this late?

- No one. - What do you mean?

- Go back to sleep. - Was that a girl, by any chance?

Good grief.

So you like pussy, Canaletti? What did she say?

- Nothing, wrong number. - A woman never dials a wrong number.

What... No, give it back, come on, what are you doing?

I'm sending a cablegram, is it how it's done?

Give me my phone.

I could kill a man even without a gun, Canaletti.

"My dear, I'll begin by telling you, for the youth you gave me..."

“That I love you, as in 2015, in 2016..."

"In 2017 and in 2018.”

"That's why I want you by my side, indomitable, now, at present...”

"Tomorrow."

- Come on, what will I look like? - You'll look like a man, Canaletti.

Oh God, I just made an ass of myself. My gosh...

- She replied. - Of course she did.

- What did she say? - "Are you hitting on me?"

- What is that supposed to mean? - That I'm making a move on her.

- Meaning that you want to mate. - Mating is for animals, come on!

You only say that because you never mated.

- What did you tell her? - I said yes.

- "Come back soon”, smile face? - Congratulations, Canaletti.

Oh my God, you're a genius! You moron!

Fellow Fascist Canaletti, watch the syphilis.

- Yes, I will! - And mind you, always wear a condom!

I'm an Italian.

All these politicians, union officials, bureaucrats...

School? Nothing for the kids.

No, honestly I wouldn't change the country.

Italy is a shithole country.

I don't read at all, I don't watch movies.

I'm on my cell phone all day.

These kids don't have to go abroad...

I'm leaving for sure.

If you have no connections you could have Whitney Houston's voice,

but you might stay at home and sing karaoke.

They have to leave this country, I don't want to see anyone here.

If they all come here, we'll go to Africa. We'll have plenty of room.

They're not too many, they could never be too many.

Those I know, they really work hard.

And there are also the Romanians, what are we supposed to do?

With her eyes full of melancholy

Good morning God

You know I'm here too.

I'm here too?

Let me sing

With the guitar in my hand

Let me sing

A song softly softly

Let me sing

Because I'm proud of it.

- I'm an Italian. - Fighters of land, of sea.

A true Italian.

Duce, alé, Duce, alé!

What's this bullshit?

It's strong, it's provocative, it goes straight to your heart, you see?

You must be crazy, you want to shoot a documentary about Mussolini?

Yes, but look, it was seen 1.700.000 times.

I just uploaded it! I have other material too.

- How many times? - 1.700.000.

- Did you tell anyone else? - No.

Well, let's do it this way,

you leave me the footage and the contact and then maybe I'll call you.

Canaletti, this is not a circus, you got to be crazy!

My grandfather was a partisan, damn.

Stop this guy, he didn't even wash his hands! Hey, you!

Oh, God.

Who are you? Are we this desperate?

The casting office is in the other hallway. Let's continue.

I think you're right about this, misses...7?

Bellini, Katia Bellini.

- Delighted. - What am I right about?

About the fact that this country is really desperate.

But I have a proposal for you.

- And what would that be? - Let's save Italy together.

I's a great idea, now that's enough, the show is over.

- Come on, thank you, please. - Leonardi, wait.

And how do you think you can save Italy?

Do you drink coffee?

- Only decaf. - Of course.

- Do you drink coffee? - Sure.

- You drink coffee, madam. -ldo.

And who is responsible for this coffee? Of the preservatives they put in it?

Certainly not those who produce it.

He delegated someone else to delegate someone else to delegate.

It's called globalization, everybody drinks it and nobody makes it.

Exactly

And this also applies to politics.

You vote, and vote, and vote.

How many times have you voted in the last few years?

But what's the point of voting

if you don't have the slightest idea of what the politicians you voted for do?

You need a leader who will take responsibility for the choices he makes.

If what's left of Ethiopia was invaded, Italians must know why.

I read that our armies went to bomb Kosovo and Iraq.

- Do you know why they went there? -.

It was a peace-keeping operation.

You keep using foreign words.

What is it? Do you really feel so inferior?

To protect peace.

They told you that they were waging war to protect peace.

it's an old trick that I had used too causing an uproar.

I wonder how long it took you to prepare this speech.

I don't need to prepare what I think, donna Bellini.

Leonardi, find a TV format suitable to this actor.

- Fellow Fascist. - A format? But...

Stat.

- One last thing, mister... - Mussolini.

Right.

Your satire is very interesting but I wouldn't deal the topic about race.

I's not funny.

And I would also leave out Germany and Hitler.

I couldn't agree more.

They already ruined me once, I won't let them do it twice.

- Leonardi, well? How did it go? - What?

- In office. - Very well.

- You sure? - Yes.

My gosh, then I'm back in? I have a lot of ideas.

- 1 could send... - Yes, that's it, send it.

Let's keep in touch, ok? You should call me again in six weeks.

- What? - Yes.

- Leonardi. - Who is that?

Could I talk to you for a moment?

Oh, dear God.

Yes, here I am.

Obviously Canaletti will be reintegrated in the staff as of today.

Of course.

And in a position suited to his skills.

- Of course. - Good.

Good.

Coffee, that's great, for you too.

- Thanks, Canaletti. - Sure.

Great recommendation.

Thanks, now I know what you think about me and about our friendship.

Fellow Fascist Canaletti.

If you don't appreciate the position you got, why didn't you protest?

- If you give up the fight... - You're a son of a gun.

You give up life.

Gee, I'm sorry, I thought it was different.

Listen, Leonardi wants his coffee, he already asked three times for it.

Good grief.

- Canaletti, where's my coffee? - Get it yourself.

What the hell are you saying, are you nuts?

I'm a director, I want a more prominent role.

- So you are a director. - Yes, is that funny?

- Itis! - I'm leaving today, then.

- Yes, good luck for everything! - Yeah, and I'm taking Mussolini with me.

- Wait, wait, Canaletti. - Wait. I'm right here.

Don't act impulsively What do you want?

The role of project manager.

- Second production assistant. - First,

- Third. - I'll take second, ok.

And I want to stay at the same hotel where Mussolini is staying.

- Yes. - And I'd like a room with bathroom.

We'll see what we can do about the bathroom. Anything else?

- No, that'll be all for the time being. - Good.

Anyway, this will only be a temporary job.

You know very well that my dream is to make the documentary about Mussolini.

- And I think it will remain a dream. - And you will propose it to me.

- Can I have my coffee now? - It doesn't come within my remit.

New color? Don't tell me.

"Black Man at Night in a Dark Alley"?

No way it's dark grey.

- Do you like it? - Very much.

Do you want to have a beer with me tonight?

Darn, I can't tonight, I got a Zumba class, I already paid.

Zumba? That's bullshit, you're going out with me tonight, I'm telling you.

- Are you ok? - No, sorry

I messed up, I apologize.

No, you can't touch me like that!

She's touching my butt!

I was interviewing this African kid, right? And he used a subjunctive!

He said: "If I hadn't been hungry...”

- That's not... - How are you supposed to say it?

No, what I mean is,

if someone speaks our language well, it means he's integrated, he's Italian.

Why should people insist by saying that they have to leave,

an African kid who...

Don't be stupid, come on.

Have you ever handed a bass to a black man?

No.

They can play they just go.

You hand them some drums?

You make them dance?

Your friends of the Zumba class? They just looked pitiful.

Anyway, your friend must really be a good actor,

that slap he gave you seemed so real.

- No, it was real. - 1 can't believe it!

It was, my head is still spinning!

Really.

Anyway, I really had a good time, thanks.

So have I.

Well, I'm home.

Good night.

Well, do you want to come up?

- At your place? - No, at my neighbor's.

- At your place then. - Yes, but don't get any funny ideas.

I can't because tomorrow I have plenty of things to do, really

For your documentary?

No, my documentary is on hold.

I got a promotion at MyTV.

Really! Well then, all the more reason to celebrate, don't you think?

- Yes, without kissing each other. - No, I'd never kiss you.

Ok, thanks.

No, neither would I. I would never kiss you, never.

Ever.

Pardon me.

I'm a little rusty.

Don't worry, I'll take care of everything.

Oh, my God, who is that?

- Francesca, who is this nice young man? - No one, grandma, go to sleep, ok?

Madam, I'm so sorry, I'm Canaletti, pleased to meet you.

- My pleasure. - Hello.

You didn't tell me that...

- That your grandma was here. - Don't worry, she has Alzheimer.

- She will soon forget. - What do you mean she'll forget?

She saw me!

Oh, God.

Francesca, who is this nice young man?

Madam, you just saw me earlier, it's still me.

- Nice meeting you. - Yeah, me too.

So, this will be your new empire, so to speak.

- You will need some training of course. - I don't need training.

Well, let's call it strategy, alignment, is that better?

You're always using the language of war, although you are afraid of making it.

It's the first time you're on TV, right?

Sol guess you have no experience in communication.

You guessed wrong, I invented the propaganda.

The exhibit on the Fascism revolution in 1932 was memorable.

Without me, Hitler would never have become the Fiihrer.

Really.

I need a typewriter.

We can do better than that. Please, get up.

- No, why me? - Be nice and leave, go on.

We can get you a corporate email.

Francesca!

- Yes? - Where is Canaletti?

Why are you asking me?

I demand Canaletti here in 30 seconds and that's an order.

- Alright, mr. Mussolini. - Duce, you can call me Duce.

Alright, mr. Duce.

What are you doing? Get that arm down!

Do you want to send us all in jail? Go on, go and call Canaletti.

Have a seat.

It's a mouse, look.

You put it here, move it and the arrow on the screen will move.

You try now, go on.

Why mouse? Can't we just call it topo?

- Well, let's call it rat. - Darn...

Now look, choose a name for your e-mail.

- My name, Benito Mussolini. - Is that your real name?

Not at all, my real name is Toto Cutugno.

Wow, like the singer!

I was joking, donna Francesca.

- Well, "Benito.Mussolini” is taken. - Someone stole my name.

No, it's simply not available, let's try with a nickname.

Try "Dux.

"Dux" is taken, but "Dux2018" is available.

I'm not Dux 2018. This typewriter doesn't work.

- Have you tried "Duce”? - Taken.

- "The Infallible™. - No, taken.

- "Messiah". - Taken.

- "Superman'. - Not there.

-"Fasces". - Taken.

- "Blackshirt”, "Excellency", "He". - It's taken too.

"The intuitive extra conscious with an extemporaneous sense of the present”.

No, it's too long, it won't fit.

"Honor and Respect”.

Good luck to you, it's the TV serial with Gabriel Garko, it's more than taken.

What the hell.

"WhatTheHell" is available! Password?

- What's that? - A watchword.

"DOOMEDIFYQUQUIT", one word, all in capitals letters.

Now, remember your username, whatthehell@email.com, don't forget it.

And that's the internet.

"How to enlarge your penis in just three moves.”

Now let's try this, write a word in here.

- The first that comes to your mind. - Here, go ahead.

"Claretta Petacci".

Was she your girlfriend?

Wow, she's beautiful.

A wonderful woman.

She died because of me.

Are you crying, mr. Duce?

No.

Look, a cat who launched himself from the balcony.

How is it going with him?

Well, ok, he's committed, he's studying, he's not a genius but, well...

Mind you, I don't want any jokes on Jews, gypsies or homosexuals, is that clear?

- Sure. - And leave out the non-EU citizens.

- Aye-aye, dear. - And don't call me dear.

No madam, dear.

Leonardi.

My idea, somewhat retro, do you like it?

I's crap.

Jews, foreigners, homosexuals, handicapped.

We should also target the government.

Gypsies, minorities,

Romanians, corrupt politicians, these are good arguments!

Some freedom at last, good job, Daniele.

You have to make up some jokes guys, though, some gags, come on!

Have no limits! If you feel the limits you have to overcome them.

I want to be a racist!

No, wait a minute, what do you mean you want to be a racist?

Just what I said, what do you think it means?

That Mussolini must speak like Mussolini, not like a Christian Democrat.

- Right. - It's insane.

- He's right. -lgotit.

Go.

Do you know how to rescue an illegal alien who is drowning?

- No. - No?

So much better!

Good.

Be ruthless! That's good, guys, this is it, very good!

More!

May 17 Well, how is it going? Are we ready? Nice and vigorous?

A little make-up maybe? You look like you're dead, Mussolini!

I never use make-up.

Could be a good idea.

Alright, are you ready? We're starting! Let's go!

Benito, you're on the scene again.

Hail Mary, full of grace our Lord is with you

Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners...

For decades he disappeared, now, he's finally back.

Let's give a warm welcome to him, Benito Mussolini.

Doomed if you quit.

The prompt.

What's this?

- Was this on the script? - I don't think so, not this long.

- Is he having a blackout? - Like Andreotti with Perego.

- Do something, send the... - No, we'll give him time.

You are all afraid of silence.

Next to me there's a man with a sign that I should read.

I's a joke about immigrants.

- But why make jokes about immigrants? - Close-up.

If you had rats in your house

you wouldn't call a comedian, you'd call the exterminators.

- A bit harsh, don't you think? - Not at all, it's great.

The TV set in my hotel room is very thin.

A marvel of human wits.

And what do they show you on this marvel of human wits?

Shit.

When you feel the crisis people don't need not to think.

You want to laugh.

That's why in 1940 we only produced comedies.

But at that time it was the right thing to do.

You were all illiterate.

I come back 80 years later

and I still find you are all illiterate.

With your head bent over staring at the screen of a telephone.

In a state of ongoing, depressive coma,

that keeps you from watching what's happening around you.

You have no dreams.

At the mercy of social media

that are making you lonely,

envious

and full of grudge.

The newspapers say

that the one against Islamic terrorism cannot be called war of civilization.

I totally agree, it's just a war.

Don't laugh.

The news is that we are losing it even before we start fighting.

Child poverty, poverty among the young,

poverty among the elderly.

Unemployment.

The birth rate has never been so low.

No wonder.

Who would want to have children

if later their greatest aspiration will be of becoming cooks.

We are running towards the abyss.

Do you need a WhatsApp message to warn you that we are sinking?

I think we're going to be a hit.

You got mail.

Pretty black face beautiful Abyssinian

Wait and see for the hour is coming.

- Mussolini has won! - Yeah!

Yesterday we were the most watched program with 33% share

and 60% in the youth range.

And that's not all,

we are the most tweeted program in the history of Italian television.

Great, they posted a lot of pictures on Instagram.

- And on Facebook! - But especially on Instagram.

And our competitor, Canal Piu,

has totalled less than half of our ratings.

- And all this thanks to you. - Thank you.

From tomorrow I want Benito in all the spaces of our schedule.

- If someone wants him as a guest... - They'll have to pay a high price.

- Good thinking. - He belongs to us.

Pretty black face you will be Roman

Your only flag will be the ftalian one.

Very good!

We are going to have here in our studio, at my desk,

the guy who is undoubtedly the character of the moment.

So welcome him with a big round of applause

and I swear that I never thought I'd be saying such a phrase,

Benito Mussolini!

Benito Mussolini.

The audience adores you, apparently, and...

Duce, what kind of a country did you find when you came back?

Do you want to know?

- Yes. - 1 think so, that's what we're here for.

Northern Rhodesia.

I think I've said all there was to say.

No, actually you didn't say anything.

If I said Congo, would that be clearer? Or should I say Nigeria?

Nigeria is fine?

Yes, they're laughing, but I hope you don't mind if I say so,

but it seems to me your comedy addresses the gut of this country

in the worst sense, if you allow me, of the term.

I don't think you'll talk about comedy when a Bantu will take your place.

With his big lips, a nose ring.

And all the rest.

Ok, so...

- How do you do. - How do you do.

So, you are telling me that you actually resurrected.

It's a burden I have to carry.

I don't think I'd have you come back. If I had my say, I mean, obviously.

And who would you have chosen in my place?

Hopefully for you, not him.

No, indeed not him. But maybe Marilyn Monroe?

I don't know her, a Communist?

No, she wasn't a Communist.

When do you think this thing will end? When will you throw the mask?

Because you have some kind of a surreal comedy,

which is also interesting, mysterious.

You managed to eliminate every trace of your past from Google.

Because my identity is known to everybody

My name is Benito, and my last name is Mussolini.

Alright, yes, and I would also skip your resume, that's known too, right?

You said something right this time.

- Plans for the future? - Make the empire.

Yes, you already tried once if I'm not mistaken but it didn't go too well.

That's why I came back, to adjust my aim.

You have a TV show, you're very popular in the Internet.

- Could you tell me what else do you want? - I want to know my army; Canaletti.

Come on, what army? There's no point in going there.

Those far right guys are just a handful of people.

They used to say we were a handful back in my day.

- Those guys are dangerous. - I want to reconquer Italy, Canaletti.

I'm not a coward like you,

who as soon as you became second assistant you hung up your camera.

Anyway, Scorsese too was a second assistant.

Scorsese who?

This is a Chinese game, you know that?

I's not a national sport.

Who won the world championship in 19347

And in 19387

The problem of this country, Canaletti, is memory.

What is it?

Oh, it's you. Hello, Mengalli.

Mussolini.

Yes, I know who you are, I keep seeing you on TV.

- What do you want from me? - What can you give me?

- What do you mean? - Do you have 500 men?

Your kind of comedy doesn't make me laugh.

You make me cry sir, do you plan to make the revolution with board games?

And you, by making fun of the image of the dead?

Leave the dead alone.

You have no idea about how to communicate with the new generation.

How do you think you will conquer the country?

And supposing you succeeded,

once you're in government, what do you plan to do?

Nothing, that's what you'll do.

You are too soft with the blacks.

Look, go away, you'd better.

Is he threatening me?

No, he's not threatening you, but we'd better go, come on.

He is threatening me.

Marching on Rome won't be an easy task, sir

So true, in this city it's difficult to get authorizations for anything,

let alone a march on Rome.

See them out, goodbye.

Let's go.

The party of confusion dominates the political scene of this country.

You're right, Canaletti.

Fascism is an idea, and these guys don't have any.

I never said that. Goodbye.

Right-wing politicians are afraid to call themselves right-wingers.

The left-wingers are afraid to say left-wing things.

I'm the only one telling the truth.

You think I'm an actor.

And I fet you believe it.

Guys, this video gets one million likes,

I'll go bald, I'll shave my head, bald-headed,

and I will yell from the balcony...

To win!

And we will win!

Many enemies, much honor!

She is nuts! Grandpa!

Doomed if you quit!

Evolution seems to us a beautiful word, authoritarianism something fascinating.

A nice Fascism is returning to make fools feel very clever,

deluding them that there won't be a price to pay,

When he was there, tits were worth more!

What if I shaved my head?

So tell me, what do you think of Italian soccer today?

Presidents from Peking, soccer balls from Indonesia,

African soccer players, I wouldn't say [talian soccer.

And the referees looked better in a black jersey.

Luckily, there's no chance for the past to come back.

It's him, the most loved by Italians.

With a scathing and surreal comedy

“The Mussolini Show” makes us laugh but also ponder on the...

Let's talk about politicians.

They are like the subjunctive, they've disappeared.

And we miss the subjunctive.

We are also on Mentana.

Pretty black face you will be Roman...

- You should be ashamed of yourselves! - Who? Us?

Yes, you! You!

And why is that? Let's hear it.

- Mussolini was a criminal. - Not this rant again.

In Ethiopia Fascists killed 760.000 people, using toxic gas too.

Children, women, men.

Sweetheart, what's this got to do with it?

And in Italy 300.000 people died for the campaign of Russia.

- Well, I'll say, 300.000 is a whole lot. - Well, they already died.

What the hell has this to do with anything?

Have you ever heard about comedy? About fiction? About a character?

Fiction?

People love him because they agree with what he says, not because he's funny

- l understand that, but he's also funny. - What are you talking about?

They believe he's right, it's absurd!

And you don't give a damn, you have no moral.

What are you talking about? I's not my fault if you lack of irony.

- No, that's not irony, - It's called satire.

- It's not satire. - Ok, don't argue.

- Anyway, maybe she's... - Journalists love him, can you read?

Of course, because they're a bunch of minions,

a crowd of morons, and you should be ashamed of yourself!

That's enough, I won't tolerate being insulted.

Yeah, well, don't worry, I'm out of here.

Get out.

I pity you, you're a lonely person.

Cheer up, Bellini, many enemies, much honor, right?

Leonardi.

Leonardi.

Excuse me, how should I bill the dog, under travel expenses or what?

- Because you know, his owner... - The dog?

- Well, yes, Mussolini shot him. - The owner?

Not the owner, the dog,

and now she's pissed off, she wants a compensation.

- I don't understand. - Well, it's not that difficult.

- I'll take care of it. - Ok, great.

- Wonderful. - What is?

Nothing.

We'll see now if they don't kick you out of here, you nasty bitch.

Good evening.

He was born in Dovia di Predappio on 29 July 1883.

He was the journalist and editor-in-chief of "Avanti" and "Popolo d'italia”.

He was the founder of Fascism, the head of the government, the Duce.

The founder of the empire and the Marshal of the empire.

We thought we had last seen him

on that day of April many years ago in piazzale Loreto in Milan.

But actually, good evening, Benito Mussolini.

I was also in charge of the Italian Social Republic.

Sure, but tonight you're here as a comedian.

Some see me like that, especially at the beginning.

- And then? - They love me.

Then they love you. And what is your political project?

First listen, and then do.

Not like that gang of criminals and whoremongers you have in government,

who first do nothing and then don't even listen.

Look, satire is satire, but defamation is something else.

I don't do satire, I'd rather make a revolution.

No.

On this show you don't applaud.

And anyway I'm sure they won't applaud

when they'll watch this video I'm about to show to you too.

You won't brag about it. Take a look.

- You suck! - Shame on you!

He's nuts! Oh, Lord...

- What's that? - That is a murder.

- Is that your revolution? - It was just a dog.

Why did you kill him? - Because he bit me.

- First my calf, then my hand. - Aren't you ashamed of yourself?

- Go home, you clown! - Please, no need for that.

Can't you go to commercials?

No, it would get worse, let's hear what he has to say.

I'll turn this place of well-connected people, of incompetents, in a desert.

Will you stop it?

How did they find this footage?

I'll burn it, and then pee on it.

Well, this would be hilarious, if it weren't terrible.

MUSSOLINI KILLED A DOG

MUSSOLINI: "I KILLED HIM BECAUSE HE BIT ME"

Congratulations, you are the boss now.

I did everything I could to defend you, sweetheart, I am so very sorry.

Really? Who do you think you're fooling?

- She didn't take it too well. - Mrs. Bellini, I wish you all the best.

I knew it wouldn't work, because people are tired of trash TV.

Well, let's not exaggerate. Katia.

Leonardi, do you know what was our share when the dog was killed?

More than the national soccer team, more than “Don Matteo”. This is Italy

Anyway, I'm not saying we should kill a dog live every night...

But you would.

At Canal Pill they can't wait to welcome me, all the best.

So, mr. Canaletti, why did you leave the show business?

Well...

I didn't invent Fascism, I drew it from the subconscious of the Italians.

Andrea, why didn't you call? You get here without notice, come on!

It's only for a couple of days, the time to get organized, really.

The apartment is small.

- Who is this? - The Duce.

Who?

Toto Cutugno.

I'm sorry about what happened with the dog.

We don't know where to go.

Donna Francesca, sorry for invading you like this.

Are you kidding? It's a pleasure.

I can assure you that it wasn't for the Ethiopians.

Give me your coat.

Hello, grandma. Is everything ok?

They're going to stay with us for a while.

What is it?

I know who he is, I recognized him.

I'm sure she took you for Claudio Bisio.

Those eyes, I can't forget them.

You are Benito Mussolini.

No, grandma, he's an actor.

He looks like him but he's not the real one.

No, he's the real one indeed. Get out of here, you criminal!

- Calm down, grandma, come on... - Grandma, we're doing a satirical show.

- He's a comedian, not the real one. - Yes.

1024 people caught like dogs in the ghetto of Rome.

At dawn, because they were afraid we would flee.

They didn't stop at anything.

Women, children, taken to Auschwitz, killed in the gas chambers,

thanks to the racial laws of this rogue!

Even then people laughed.

Even then they thought he was just a comedian.

People forget.

They still believe the fairytale that Fascism was different from Nazism,

as if you could be more or less killer,

more or less cowards.

Only one woman came back from hell, a child.

She saved her life pretending to be dead,

hiding under a pile of corpses for six days.

I was that child.

I was freed by the British.

I was alive because I was probably already dead.

And not even those criminals can kill twice.

When I saw myself in the eyes of that young man

who pulled me out of that pile of rotting corpses,

I was afraid.

I was afraid of my anger.

He didn't come back, I came back here to look him in the face.

Qut of here, you criminal! Murderer!

- Grandma, come, on, it's alright. - Go away!

- She told you to leave, so leave, ok? - We're leaving.

- Go away! - Come on, grandma, don't worry.

- Never again! Go away! - We have to go.

- Don't worry, grandma, it's alright. - Come on.

Look at me, grandma.

It's alright.

I'm getting old, Canaletti.

I should have shot that old Jew in the head.

But maybe it was better to spare her life.

A politician must learn from the mistakes of the past.

If I had executed her in front of witnesses

it would have raised a big fuss, after what happened with that dog.

Jeez, for once, just for once, can't you take a break from your character?

Goddammit, stop it, that woman suffered.

I know, you are worried because Francesca is Jewish.

Maybe you're lucky and only a small part of her is Jewish.

The body can endure a minimal amount of Jewishness.

And after all, they say that Jewish women are very active sexually.

Do you confirm that?

- What kind of person are you? - Me? A winner. How about you?

No, you are a monster, you scare me, I don't like what you say,

I don't want to see you again, you disgust me!

Canaletti!

The mark you'll leave on the photographic plate of history is blurred!

Jeez.

It can't be.

No!

No!

You are a bunch of incompetent morons.

Before Mussolini this TV existed, didn't it?

Yes, but people now don't want the usual comedians anymore.

Alright, let's spend more, let's call a big star of laughter.

- I don't want a bore. - We could use Zalone.

You wish, we can't seem to sell advertising spaces anymore.

I know! Let's get him back!

No way, Mussolini is done, people will never forgive him.

Providence has abandoned me.

Ruling this country is not only difficult, it's useless.

I want to go home.

I'm dead again.

The border was close.

My disguise didn't work.

You really scared me there.

Claretta.

Donna Bellini.

- What am I doing here? - Easy.

Easy.

The environmentalists, the animal rights activists, the neo-Fascists

gave you a good beating.

Environmentalists, animal rights activists, neo-Fascists,

what a mess in this country.

You're lucky I'm here beside you.

You should thank them.

You will appear in the eyes of the nation as a victim.

What do you have in mind?

Bring you back to power.

The time is ripe for revolution.

You are alone, donna Katia.

Aren't we all, Benito?

So there we are, just a few minutes away

to the first episode of the highly anticipated Canal Pill show.

After the TV of sorrow, here's the TV of forgiveness.

Katia, "I forgive you"?

Uncle is feeling worse and worse.

I believe that forgiveness is the strongest feeling,

because it comes from love but has been feeding on hatred.

Sometimes it's not easy to forgive, not all of us can do it, right?

it takes a lot of understanding to accept human limits.

Katia, you're bound to begin a new adventure as a TV show host.

- Break a leg, can I say that myself? - Sure you can.

Who is going to be your first guest to ask [talians to be forgiven?

An old acquaintance.

Ready to go live.

Here we go. Show the wounds, let's say flat out that you were attacked.

You must move them to pity you.

- Let's hope it works. - It's going to work, donna Katia.

Even if they won't forgive me you've already won.

- Come on, guys. - How's your arm?

- Luckily, it was my left arm. - All on stage!

They don't have to forgive him, he's the real one.

Two, one, theme song!

Ladies and gentlemen, here's Benito Mussolini.

- Go away! - No, excuse me, I'm sorry.

- 1 can't stand it, really... - Laura, let's hear what he has to say

And then you'll decide if you'll forgive him or not.

We owe it to your poor dog, to Filippo.

He was like a child to me.

That poor creature didn't deserve to die like that.

- Not that way; at least. - You're a moron!

But I can assure you he didn't suffer, he died instantly, without a moan.

- It was an unforgivable gesture. - And that's not the only mistake I made.

Hey, young man!

Fellow Fascists, friends.

Let's make sure that the death of poor Filippo wasn't pointless.

Let's build a kennel in his memory, and let's build it together.

- Stop, where are you going? - I have to get in.

- We must stop Mussolini. - Forget it, we're on the air.

- He's not a comedian, he's the real guy! - Yeah, I wish.

Ok.

- No! - Come on!

Let's guarantee a better life to all those foundlings

who haven't been lucky enough to find an owner who loved them.

- Like our friend... - Laura.

Laura, she loved her puppy

Excuse me.

Bring me your wedding rings.

I'll put them here, next to mine.

Laura, what would you like to do?

I don't know!

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

Think it over.

Stop!

Don't do it, don't give him another chance!

- Get out, you can't stay here. - Canaletti?

You don't realize it, he's the real one!

- You are the Duce. - I never said otherwise, Canaletti.

- You want to get the power back! - I have no difficulty admitting it.

Let him go! A microphone, please.

We have to stop him. And you are worse than him!

Shall we humor this young man's visions or shall we go on with our show?

What are you doing? This is history repeating itself!

You're right, Canaletti, history repeats itself.

At the time this country was ungovernable as it is now and you know who saved it?

No, you didn't save it!

I have ruled for 20 years with consent, not with terror, Canaletti.

People loved me!

Laura, if you pardon him it will be the end for all of us.

Donna Laura, don't listen to that lunatic.

- Democracy will die! - Democracy is already dead.

Laura, we have no time left.

What do you want to do? Do you want to pardon this gentleman?

Mr. Mussolini, do you really want to build a kennel

and dedicate it to my Filippo?

He's a liar, he won't do it!

No, that's not true.

We will build it together!!

Oh, my God.

Calm down! Stop!

Dada, come, let's go in the other room.

Stop!

You won't shoot, Canaletti.

You're a coward.

I'll do it, you're a criminal.

If you kill me, you'll kill a part of yourself

and of all of them.

I'm not like you!

I'm not like you!

You are a monster!

You're a monster!

The beauty of a live coverage.

Well, Laura, it's up to you.

I forgive you!

Duce!

Duce! One question, please!

Mrs. Bellini, one question!

Mrs. Bellini!

Mrs. Bellini, don't you think it's immoral legitimizing Fascism this way?

I think that talking about Fascism after more than 70 years is out of style.

Thank you.

I'M BACK