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1
00:00:00,355 --> 00:00:01,856
♪ Can I tell you something ♪
2
00:00:01,856 --> 00:00:04,150
♪ Just between you and me? ♪
3
00:00:04,776 --> 00:00:06,402
♪ When I hear your voice ♪
4
00:00:06,402 --> 00:00:08,738
♪ I know I'm finally free ♪
5
00:00:09,614 --> 00:00:13,409
♪ Every single word is perfectas it can be ♪
6
00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:17,914
♪ And I need youhere with me... ♪
7
00:00:20,083 --> 00:00:21,292
This is nice.
8
00:00:21,292 --> 00:00:23,127
Mm‐hmm.
So nice.
9
00:00:25,964 --> 00:00:27,465
‐Sam?
‐Mm‐hmm?
10
00:00:28,508 --> 00:00:29,509
Do you have a...
11
00:00:30,343 --> 00:00:31,678
Ew. No.
12
00:00:31,970 --> 00:00:33,596
Then what's poking
my back?
13
00:00:33,596 --> 00:00:35,223
It's my phone.
14
00:00:35,223 --> 00:00:36,724
‐Relax.
‐(laughing)
15
00:00:36,724 --> 00:00:38,184
I was like,
oh my God,
16
00:00:38,184 --> 00:00:39,561
I hope he's not trying
to get up on this.
17
00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:41,437
Ugh. Gross.
18
00:00:41,437 --> 00:00:43,314
Okay, you don't have
to say it like that, homo.
19
00:00:43,314 --> 00:00:44,941
‐It doesn't bite.
‐Hey!
20
00:00:44,941 --> 00:00:46,109
We talked about this.
21
00:00:46,109 --> 00:00:47,402
You can't use
that word.
22
00:00:47,402 --> 00:00:48,528
You say it!
23
00:00:48,528 --> 00:00:49,487
I'm allowed.
24
00:00:49,862 --> 00:00:51,072
You don't gotta be mean
about it.
25
00:00:52,323 --> 00:00:54,659
Okay, swap.
I wanna be little spoon.
26
00:00:58,037 --> 00:00:59,163
(moans)
27
00:01:01,416 --> 00:01:03,209
So what are you doing
this weekend?
28
00:01:04,168 --> 00:01:06,004
For Valentine's Day?
Nothing.
29
00:01:06,796 --> 00:01:07,922
You're not going out
with Gary?
30
00:01:07,922 --> 00:01:09,674
Oh my God, no.
31
00:01:10,091 --> 00:01:11,718
That's something
a boyfriend/girlfriend
would do.
32
00:01:11,718 --> 00:01:13,011
You know
that's not my jam.
33
00:01:13,011 --> 00:01:15,388
You guys have been dating
for, like, three years.
34
00:01:15,388 --> 00:01:16,931
I think you can call him
your boyfriend,
35
00:01:16,931 --> 00:01:18,349
everybody else does.
36
00:01:18,683 --> 00:01:20,351
Are you trying
to start a fight?
37
00:01:22,937 --> 00:01:24,522
What about you,
Samwich?
38
00:01:24,522 --> 00:01:25,398
You okay?
39
00:01:26,190 --> 00:01:28,985
You mean because this is
my first Valentine's Day
40
00:01:28,985 --> 00:01:30,028
without Malcolm?
41
00:01:30,987 --> 00:01:32,447
It's been
a couple months.
42
00:01:32,447 --> 00:01:34,365
You ready to get back
on the horse?
43
00:01:35,199 --> 00:01:36,993
There will be
no horses
44
00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:40,121
of any kind
in my immediate future.
45
00:01:41,372 --> 00:01:43,666
Which is why I'm so glad
to be getting out of here
46
00:01:43,666 --> 00:01:45,043
for a few days.
47
00:01:45,043 --> 00:01:47,503
Don't have to go to any
of those awful singles parties
48
00:01:47,503 --> 00:01:49,714
and have people give me
those horrible looks
49
00:01:49,714 --> 00:01:52,383
and try to set me up
with guys named Troy
50
00:01:52,383 --> 00:01:53,718
and Devin.
51
00:01:54,886 --> 00:01:59,015
I am just so not ready
for that right now.
52
00:02:00,933 --> 00:02:02,518
Wait, what do you mean
you're getting out of here?
53
00:02:02,518 --> 00:02:03,478
Where're you going?
54
00:02:04,395 --> 00:02:06,147
My friends,
Kelly and Kris?
55
00:02:07,315 --> 00:02:08,941
From high school?
Their engagement party.
56
00:02:08,941 --> 00:02:10,568
We talked about this.
57
00:02:10,568 --> 00:02:12,445
I must've
blocked it out.
58
00:02:12,445 --> 00:02:13,821
My God!
59
00:02:13,821 --> 00:02:16,032
You're going all the way home
for an engagement party?
60
00:02:16,032 --> 00:02:18,201
Ugh. You are
a good friend.
61
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:19,952
Yes, I am.
62
00:02:19,952 --> 00:02:22,038
(cell phone buzzing)
63
00:02:23,164 --> 00:02:25,375
Speak of the devils.
64
00:02:26,042 --> 00:02:27,460
Hi!
65
00:02:27,460 --> 00:02:28,670
How are you?
66
00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:31,172
How does it feel
to be "affianced"?
67
00:02:31,172 --> 00:02:32,423
Affi‐what?
68
00:02:32,423 --> 00:02:34,008
Affianced.
It means engaged.
69
00:02:34,842 --> 00:02:36,177
Oh! (laughs)
70
00:02:36,177 --> 00:02:38,054
I like that.
Af‐financed.
71
00:02:38,054 --> 00:02:39,639
Like, give me
my money, husband.
72
00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:40,640
No, I‐‐
73
00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:41,891
‐Never mind.
‐It feels amazing!
74
00:02:41,891 --> 00:02:43,643
We're so excited that
you're coming home
for our party!
75
00:02:43,643 --> 00:02:44,519
Ask him about Harry.
76
00:02:44,519 --> 00:02:45,770
I'm going to,
give me a sec.
77
00:02:45,770 --> 00:02:47,021
‐Ask me what?
‐He's not gonna mind.
78
00:02:47,021 --> 00:02:50,149
So listen, we have
a small favor to ask.
79
00:02:50,149 --> 00:02:51,984
Anything for the bride
and groom.
80
00:02:51,984 --> 00:02:53,152
‐Great.
‐Oh my God.
81
00:02:53,152 --> 00:02:54,654
Could you...
would you mind
82
00:02:54,654 --> 00:02:56,197
giving Harry a lift?
83
00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:57,990
Harry? Harry who?
84
00:02:59,158 --> 00:03:01,160
Harry... Turpin.
85
00:03:01,661 --> 00:03:02,829
Harry Turpin.
86
00:03:02,829 --> 00:03:04,664
Eh, you don't mean
Harry Turpin?
87
00:03:04,664 --> 00:03:05,832
Harry Turpin
who hates me?
88
00:03:05,832 --> 00:03:07,333
Harry Turpin
who made fun of me
89
00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:09,001
pretty much every day
in high school?
90
00:03:09,001 --> 00:03:10,169
Yeah.
91
00:03:10,169 --> 00:03:11,629
You're not
seriously asking me
92
00:03:11,629 --> 00:03:12,964
to spend nine hours
alone in a car
93
00:03:12,964 --> 00:03:14,298
with Harry frickin' Turpin,
are you?
94
00:03:14,298 --> 00:03:16,259
No way!
Say no, Sam.
95
00:03:16,592 --> 00:03:17,593
Kinda.
96
00:03:17,593 --> 00:03:19,387
It's just you guys
go to the same school.
97
00:03:19,387 --> 00:03:20,847
And he was supposed to
drive out with his girlfriend,
98
00:03:20,847 --> 00:03:22,348
but I guess they broke up
or something.
99
00:03:22,348 --> 00:03:24,100
‐Shocking.
‐And he doesn't have a car,
100
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:26,269
so he won't be able
to come, unless...
101
00:03:27,061 --> 00:03:28,771
‐I don't know, Kelly.
‐Say no.
102
00:03:28,771 --> 00:03:30,314
You know, give it to me.
I'll tell her.
103
00:03:30,314 --> 00:03:31,941
No. Stop it.
Stop. Stop.
104
00:03:31,941 --> 00:03:32,984
We really want
him there.
105
00:03:32,984 --> 00:03:34,777
Kris really wants
him there.
106
00:03:34,777 --> 00:03:35,862
Please.
107
00:03:35,862 --> 00:03:36,779
Hey.
108
00:03:36,779 --> 00:03:37,864
What's that sound?
109
00:03:37,864 --> 00:03:38,698
Where are you?
110
00:03:39,198 --> 00:03:40,533
Hell, apparently.
111
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,161
Um, yes, okay.
112
00:03:43,161 --> 00:03:44,495
I will bring Harry.
113
00:03:44,495 --> 00:03:46,205
Oh my God!
Thank you!
114
00:03:46,205 --> 00:03:49,041
Tell him to meet me outside
the Student Union 7 a. m. sharp.
115
00:03:49,041 --> 00:03:51,043
If he is late,
I swear to God
116
00:03:51,043 --> 00:03:52,295
‐I'm leaving without him.
‐He'll be there.
117
00:03:52,295 --> 00:03:54,714
Thank you, Sam.
Thank you, thank you.
118
00:03:54,714 --> 00:03:56,340
‐See you Saturday!
‐Mm‐hmm.
119
00:03:59,677 --> 00:04:01,012
Wow!
120
00:04:01,012 --> 00:04:03,222
You, my friend,
are a medical marvel.
121
00:04:04,182 --> 00:04:06,642
It's a wonder you can
stand up at all without
a spine like that.
122
00:04:16,777 --> 00:04:17,778
(Sam sighs)
123
00:04:21,824 --> 00:04:22,992
(cell phone buzzes)
124
00:04:25,203 --> 00:04:26,162
Oh!
125
00:04:27,121 --> 00:04:29,165
‐Everything okay?
‐He's not here.
126
00:04:29,165 --> 00:04:30,333
What an asshole.
127
00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:31,751
See, and that's
the thing about Harry.
128
00:04:31,751 --> 00:04:33,294
No concern
for anybody else,
129
00:04:33,294 --> 00:04:34,962
just shows up whenever
the hell he wants to.
130
00:04:35,630 --> 00:04:37,548
Ugh. I never should
have agreed to this.
131
00:04:37,548 --> 00:04:39,342
No, you really
shouldn't have.
132
00:04:39,342 --> 00:04:41,636
You could always leave.
You'd be perfectly justified.
133
00:04:42,637 --> 00:04:44,180
Fine, I'll give him
till 7:15.
134
00:04:44,180 --> 00:04:45,181
What are you doing?
135
00:04:45,181 --> 00:04:47,016
7:10 in the morning,
what do you think I'm doing?
136
00:04:47,016 --> 00:04:48,684
Oh my gosh,
did I wake you?
137
00:04:48,684 --> 00:04:50,019
Yeah, but it's fine.
I don't mind.
138
00:04:50,019 --> 00:04:51,604
‐I mind.
‐Shut up, Gary.
139
00:04:51,604 --> 00:04:52,563
No one cares
what you think.
140
00:04:52,563 --> 00:04:53,606
Tell him
I said hi.
141
00:04:53,606 --> 00:04:55,441
‐Gary says hi.
‐Hi, Gary.
142
00:04:55,441 --> 00:04:57,860
Okay, sorry I woke you guys.
Go back to bed.
143
00:04:57,860 --> 00:04:59,195
No, no, no,
I'll stay on.
144
00:04:59,195 --> 00:05:00,613
Now remember,
145
00:05:00,613 --> 00:05:02,198
if he starts anything,
146
00:05:02,198 --> 00:05:04,534
any, any name‐calling
or anything at all,
147
00:05:04,534 --> 00:05:06,327
you just pull over
148
00:05:06,327 --> 00:05:08,037
and tell him,
"Get the hell out."
149
00:05:08,663 --> 00:05:09,997
‐Got it.
‐Say it.
150
00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:12,834
‐What?
‐Practice. I wanna hear you.
151
00:05:13,334 --> 00:05:14,544
I'm not gonna...
152
00:05:15,670 --> 00:05:16,754
Fine.
Get the hell out.
153
00:05:17,338 --> 00:05:18,506
You're kidding, right?
154
00:05:19,173 --> 00:05:20,675
What the hell
kinda command is that?
155
00:05:20,675 --> 00:05:23,344
I tell Gary
to pick up my ice cream
more forcefully than that.
156
00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:24,804
Again.
157
00:05:24,804 --> 00:05:26,180
(louder):
Get the hell out!
158
00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:28,391
Again! From those
underused balls of yours!
159
00:05:28,391 --> 00:05:29,809
(low, growly voice):
Get the hell out!
160
00:05:29,809 --> 00:05:31,644
Again! Like the lion
that you are!
161
00:05:31,644 --> 00:05:33,354
(shouting):
Get the hell out!
162
00:05:33,688 --> 00:05:34,897
‐Sorry.
‐Stasia: Okay, good.
163
00:05:35,356 --> 00:05:36,816
You're gonna be fine,babe, okay.
164
00:05:36,816 --> 00:05:37,942
Call me if you need me.
165
00:05:37,942 --> 00:05:39,443
I will. Bye.
166
00:05:39,443 --> 00:05:40,444
‐Stasia: Mmm.
‐(cell phone beeps)
167
00:05:45,283 --> 00:05:46,284
(exhales heavily)
168
00:05:47,910 --> 00:05:48,953
Sam: I said 7 a. m.
169
00:05:49,328 --> 00:05:51,497
Sharp. He's not here,
that's not my fault.
170
00:05:53,416 --> 00:05:55,877
And the good news is
171
00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:58,421
I don't have
to spend nine hours
172
00:05:58,421 --> 00:05:59,547
in a car with...
173
00:05:59,547 --> 00:06:01,507
Wait, hey, hey, hey,
no, no, no, wait, wait...
174
00:06:01,507 --> 00:06:03,175
...Harry Turpin.
175
00:06:03,175 --> 00:06:04,677
Hey! Hey! Yo!
176
00:06:11,017 --> 00:06:12,018
Thanks, man.
177
00:06:17,106 --> 00:06:19,150
All right, I know I'm
a few minutes late, but...
178
00:06:19,150 --> 00:06:20,484
‐Try 20.
‐...not my fault.
179
00:06:20,484 --> 00:06:22,987
See, my roommate made
these killer tacos last night.
180
00:06:22,987 --> 00:06:26,115
And this morning I had
to evacuate the building,
181
00:06:26,115 --> 00:06:27,617
if you know
what I mean.
182
00:06:27,617 --> 00:06:29,452
And it put me
a little behind sched.
183
00:06:29,452 --> 00:06:31,078
But I made it.
184
00:06:31,454 --> 00:06:33,664
We're here,
road‐trippin' home.
185
00:06:33,664 --> 00:06:35,333
No harm,
no foul balls.
186
00:06:36,584 --> 00:06:38,002
Although my balls may be
187
00:06:38,377 --> 00:06:40,254
a little foul, 'cause...
188
00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:42,340
I didn't have time
to shower, you get me?
189
00:06:43,591 --> 00:06:45,343
I... get you.
190
00:06:45,718 --> 00:06:48,387
Oh, would you mind making
a quick stop at The Drip?
191
00:06:48,387 --> 00:06:49,847
I'm gonna need
some serious caffeine
192
00:06:49,847 --> 00:06:51,557
if I'm gonna be
good company for you.
193
00:06:57,980 --> 00:06:59,190
And then she lost her mind
194
00:06:59,190 --> 00:07:02,068
because I forgot
our three‐month anniversary!
195
00:07:02,068 --> 00:07:03,527
I mean, is that
even a thing?
196
00:07:03,527 --> 00:07:05,363
Like, who remembers shit
like that?
197
00:07:05,363 --> 00:07:06,822
I don't know,
198
00:07:06,822 --> 00:07:07,823
thoughtful people?
199
00:07:07,823 --> 00:07:09,158
Mmm.
200
00:07:09,158 --> 00:07:11,327
Of course you say that,
you never forget anything.
201
00:07:11,786 --> 00:07:13,788
Yo, remember that time
you reminded Mrs. Brown
202
00:07:13,788 --> 00:07:15,539
we were supposed
to have a bio quiz?
203
00:07:15,539 --> 00:07:17,500
And everyone got
so pissed at you?
204
00:07:18,125 --> 00:07:19,960
Yeah, I remember.
205
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,505
Because I had studied
like we were supposed to,
206
00:07:22,505 --> 00:07:24,048
and I didn't want
to get behind, you know.
207
00:07:24,048 --> 00:07:26,801
We had those big projects
in English and Social Studies.
208
00:07:27,468 --> 00:07:30,346
Plus, it was the first time
that you called me
"Suck‐up Sammy,"
209
00:07:30,346 --> 00:07:32,890
so... not something
I'm likely to forget.
210
00:07:32,890 --> 00:07:34,600
Hey, who called you
"Suck‐up Sammy"?
211
00:07:35,142 --> 00:07:36,060
You.
212
00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:37,436
‐Me?
‐Yeah.
213
00:07:38,187 --> 00:07:39,146
‐No.
‐Yeah.
214
00:07:39,146 --> 00:07:40,147
No way, man.
215
00:07:40,147 --> 00:07:41,774
You're saying
I made that up?
216
00:07:41,774 --> 00:07:42,942
I gave you
that nickname?
217
00:07:42,942 --> 00:07:43,943
Mm‐hmm.
218
00:07:45,569 --> 00:07:46,696
I don't think so, dude.
219
00:07:47,363 --> 00:07:48,989
Trust me,
I remember.
220
00:07:48,989 --> 00:07:51,242
Because after you called me
Suck‐up Sammy,
221
00:07:51,242 --> 00:07:53,160
Davey Glick thought
it would be funnier
222
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,995
to call me
Suck‐up Samantha,
223
00:07:54,995 --> 00:07:57,623
and that's what people
called me for the rest
of high school so...
224
00:07:57,998 --> 00:07:59,959
I think I remember
who started it.
225
00:08:01,711 --> 00:08:04,213
All right, I guess.
If you say so.
226
00:08:06,006 --> 00:08:07,007
That's a good one.
227
00:08:08,217 --> 00:08:10,219
You know what?
I'm pretty wiped.
228
00:08:10,219 --> 00:08:11,762
I haven't slept in,
like, three days
229
00:08:11,762 --> 00:08:13,639
because of studying
for mid‐term, so...
230
00:08:14,515 --> 00:08:16,308
maybe we have
a little quiet time.
231
00:08:17,685 --> 00:08:19,019
Yeah. Sure thing.
232
00:08:20,229 --> 00:08:21,021
Gotcha.
233
00:08:23,774 --> 00:08:25,317
But, I mean,
three‐month anniversaries.
234
00:08:25,317 --> 00:08:27,403
Like, who even thinks
about things like that.
235
00:08:32,324 --> 00:08:34,452
And then this other girl,
we go to this nude beach, right.
236
00:08:34,994 --> 00:08:37,788
Lotta schlongs,
also a few schlorts.
237
00:08:38,497 --> 00:08:40,541
Anyway, so she says
I'm looking around too much
238
00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:43,919
and that I keep
checking other girls out
while she's around
239
00:08:43,919 --> 00:08:46,338
and she just gets
super insecure about that...
240
00:08:47,757 --> 00:08:50,384
So I catch her
going through my phone,
241
00:08:50,384 --> 00:08:52,678
and I finally have
to say enough, I'm out.
242
00:08:52,678 --> 00:08:54,013
Can you believe that, bro?
243
00:08:54,013 --> 00:08:57,058
Can I believe that you drove
multiple women insane
244
00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:58,851
to the point of
a total psychotic break?
245
00:08:58,851 --> 00:09:00,102
Yes. Yes, I can.
246
00:09:00,102 --> 00:09:01,270
Oh‐kay.
247
00:09:01,854 --> 00:09:03,814
‐Ouch‐‐
‐So you just move on.
248
00:09:03,814 --> 00:09:06,609
As soon as it gets
hard or weird,
249
00:09:06,609 --> 00:09:09,487
before you start
to catch feelings,
you just bolt.
250
00:09:09,487 --> 00:09:11,906
Okay, I‐I don't know if I'd
put it quite like that, but‐‐
251
00:09:11,906 --> 00:09:14,617
You spent the last three hours
recounting every detail
252
00:09:14,617 --> 00:09:17,078
of your past
five relationships,
253
00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:19,121
and the most
amazing thing is that
254
00:09:19,121 --> 00:09:20,790
in every single one
of them
255
00:09:20,790 --> 00:09:23,667
you did absolutely
nothing wrong.
256
00:09:24,126 --> 00:09:25,503
And yet,
257
00:09:25,503 --> 00:09:27,379
they all have
the same complaints.
258
00:09:28,047 --> 00:09:30,674
Did it ever occur to you
that maybe, uh,
259
00:09:30,674 --> 00:09:32,176
I don't know, maybe,
260
00:09:32,176 --> 00:09:34,136
you had something to do
with what happened.
261
00:09:35,179 --> 00:09:36,722
You know what?
You're probably right.
262
00:09:37,181 --> 00:09:39,016
I mean, at the very least,
I picked them all.
263
00:09:39,558 --> 00:09:40,893
I must like the drama.
264
00:09:41,602 --> 00:09:43,896
And it's not just the girls,
the last guy I dated
was completely nut...
265
00:09:43,896 --> 00:09:46,023
See, that's exactly what I‐‐
Wait, what?
266
00:09:47,399 --> 00:09:48,442
Guy? Wha...
267
00:09:49,193 --> 00:09:50,736
What do you mean, "guy"?
268
00:09:53,072 --> 00:09:55,658
As in not a girl.
269
00:09:58,035 --> 00:09:59,036
I'm pan.
270
00:09:59,995 --> 00:10:01,122
‐Pan?
‐Hmm.
271
00:10:02,248 --> 00:10:05,084
You're... a pan?
What does that mean?
272
00:10:05,543 --> 00:10:06,627
Pansexual.
273
00:10:07,378 --> 00:10:09,922
I... it means that
I don't have a preference
274
00:10:09,922 --> 00:10:11,257
‐in terms of genders or‐‐
‐No, no. No.
275
00:10:11,257 --> 00:10:12,842
No, I, I know
what it means.
276
00:10:13,676 --> 00:10:15,928
What do you mean
you're...
277
00:10:15,928 --> 00:10:18,097
Well, I mean, I used
to call myself bi,
278
00:10:18,097 --> 00:10:21,016
but somebody schooled me
that pan is way more inclusive
279
00:10:21,016 --> 00:10:23,269
and also honestly
just more... me.
280
00:10:24,311 --> 00:10:26,397
You know, I'm surprised
you didn't know this already.
281
00:10:26,397 --> 00:10:28,566
My mom practically put it
in the family Christmas letter
282
00:10:28,566 --> 00:10:29,775
the year I came out.
283
00:10:29,775 --> 00:10:31,152
But, hey,
now that you know,
284
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:32,736
maybe we could hit up
some of the bars
285
00:10:32,736 --> 00:10:34,238
in Boystown
together sometime.
286
00:10:34,989 --> 00:10:36,198
Most of my boys are straight,
287
00:10:36,198 --> 00:10:38,617
so I could use
a good gay wingman.
288
00:10:40,995 --> 00:10:42,037
Dude, you okay?
289
00:10:44,081 --> 00:10:44,999
Dude?
290
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:47,459
(horn blaring)
291
00:10:47,459 --> 00:10:51,213
(both screaming)
292
00:10:51,505 --> 00:10:52,923
Harry:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
293
00:10:53,549 --> 00:10:56,385
(breathing heavily)
294
00:11:02,558 --> 00:11:04,602
I guess something called
a tie bar broke,
295
00:11:04,602 --> 00:11:06,145
and they have to get
a part from Hannibal,
296
00:11:06,145 --> 00:11:07,563
so we gotta
spend the night.
297
00:11:09,857 --> 00:11:11,692
I'm fine, Dad.
298
00:11:11,692 --> 00:11:12,610
Don't worry.
299
00:11:13,861 --> 00:11:15,613
Um, "How's Harry?"
300
00:11:16,238 --> 00:11:18,240
He's different.
301
00:11:19,325 --> 00:11:20,659
He's changed a lot
since high school.
302
00:11:20,659 --> 00:11:22,286
Harry: I got sustenance.
303
00:11:22,286 --> 00:11:23,704
Beer, chips,
304
00:11:23,704 --> 00:11:25,998
and for protein,
beef jerky.
305
00:11:26,874 --> 00:11:28,584
It was that
or cat food, so...
306
00:11:29,084 --> 00:11:30,336
Oh, sorry.
307
00:11:30,336 --> 00:11:31,378
Dad, I should go.
308
00:11:31,879 --> 00:11:32,880
All right, I...
309
00:11:33,422 --> 00:11:34,506
love you too.
310
00:11:38,969 --> 00:11:40,346
‐Harry: Beer?
‐Oh, oh.
311
00:11:43,265 --> 00:11:44,475
So you really
didn't know?
312
00:11:45,142 --> 00:11:46,685
I really did not.
313
00:11:48,187 --> 00:11:49,980
Thought you had me pegged
a long time ago.
314
00:11:50,689 --> 00:11:51,774
Why would I?
315
00:11:53,192 --> 00:11:55,653
I, I know you caught me
staring at you sometimes.
316
00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:58,113
Well, because I thought
you hated me!
317
00:11:58,697 --> 00:11:59,573
Oh!
318
00:12:00,157 --> 00:12:01,325
No. Not at all.
319
00:12:02,201 --> 00:12:03,661
Truth is,
I admired you.
320
00:12:04,662 --> 00:12:05,746
I'm sorry. I...
321
00:12:06,205 --> 00:12:07,998
I don't even know how‐‐
What?
322
00:12:07,998 --> 00:12:09,208
I mean, you were out.
323
00:12:09,959 --> 00:12:11,210
In Liberty, Missouri.
324
00:12:12,127 --> 00:12:13,754
Me, I was just...
325
00:12:13,754 --> 00:12:14,797
too scared.
326
00:12:15,506 --> 00:12:17,341
That's why I made fun of you,
you know that, right?
327
00:12:17,925 --> 00:12:20,386
Because I thought
that if anybody
328
00:12:20,386 --> 00:12:22,012
saw me be nice
to you, then...
329
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:25,349
I'd be guilty
by association, and...
330
00:12:26,684 --> 00:12:27,810
Yeah, I was just...
331
00:12:28,519 --> 00:12:30,020
I wasn't ready
for that.
332
00:12:30,980 --> 00:12:32,564
But that's no excuse.
333
00:12:32,564 --> 00:12:33,983
I never should have
treated you like that.
334
00:12:35,150 --> 00:12:37,403
I mean it, man.
I was a dick.
335
00:12:39,238 --> 00:12:40,406
I really am sorry.
336
00:12:46,954 --> 00:12:47,997
So what's next for you?
337
00:12:48,664 --> 00:12:50,165
After we graduate?
338
00:12:50,165 --> 00:12:52,751
Well, I was thinking about
going to grad school, but...
339
00:12:53,711 --> 00:12:56,130
I don't know, I think that
I need to just get out there
340
00:12:56,130 --> 00:12:58,882
get some real world
experience, so...
341
00:12:59,508 --> 00:13:01,760
I'll probably just get
on a local campaign.
342
00:13:02,469 --> 00:13:04,346
Like political campaigns?
343
00:13:04,346 --> 00:13:05,264
Mm‐hmm.
344
00:13:05,848 --> 00:13:07,808
Is that what you've
been studying? Politics?
345
00:13:08,684 --> 00:13:10,269
Hmm. What?
346
00:13:10,602 --> 00:13:11,979
I'm kind of surprised.
347
00:13:12,855 --> 00:13:14,982
I mean, you seem like
a nice guy, and‐‐
348
00:13:14,982 --> 00:13:16,650
Nice guys don't go
into politics?
349
00:13:17,067 --> 00:13:18,319
Kinda. Yeah.
350
00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:19,820
Well, we need
more nice guys
351
00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:21,155
in politics.
352
00:13:21,155 --> 00:13:24,241
Or else we're never gonna fix
this messed‐up world we got.
353
00:13:24,241 --> 00:13:26,618
Hmm? You're gonna fix
the messed‐up world, huh?
354
00:13:26,910 --> 00:13:28,287
Yeah. I am.
355
00:13:29,496 --> 00:13:30,456
Good for you.
356
00:13:31,165 --> 00:13:32,166
I like that.
357
00:13:35,461 --> 00:13:36,628
So what about you?
358
00:13:38,881 --> 00:13:42,676
What does the future have
in store for Harry Turpin?
359
00:13:43,427 --> 00:13:45,929
I don't know. I try not
to think about it too much.
360
00:13:45,929 --> 00:13:47,222
Hmm.
361
00:13:47,222 --> 00:13:48,807
That's why I need someone
like you around.
362
00:13:50,184 --> 00:13:51,351
Someone like me?
363
00:13:51,852 --> 00:13:52,770
You know...
364
00:13:53,395 --> 00:13:54,813
driven,
365
00:13:54,813 --> 00:13:56,815
a little extra.
366
00:13:56,815 --> 00:13:59,068
(gasps)
I'm not extra!
367
00:13:59,401 --> 00:14:01,695
Dude, you're like
the living definition of extra.
368
00:14:02,112 --> 00:14:03,697
‐No!
‐Man, whatever you say,
369
00:14:03,697 --> 00:14:05,991
Mr. Seven AM Sharp.
370
00:14:05,991 --> 00:14:08,202
Okay. Okay.
Stop deflecting.
371
00:14:08,202 --> 00:14:09,578
We're talking
about you now.
372
00:14:11,747 --> 00:14:12,956
I guess...
373
00:14:13,499 --> 00:14:16,085
the only thing I really knew
I wanted was...
374
00:14:16,085 --> 00:14:17,294
a family.
375
00:14:17,294 --> 00:14:18,420
To be a dad.
376
00:14:20,255 --> 00:14:21,548
Uh, what about you?
377
00:14:22,883 --> 00:14:23,884
You want kids?
378
00:14:23,884 --> 00:14:24,968
I mean, to be honest,
379
00:14:24,968 --> 00:14:27,262
I think I would be
too afraid
380
00:14:27,262 --> 00:14:29,098
to bring a kid
into this world right now,
381
00:14:29,098 --> 00:14:31,016
well, with, like,
climate change
382
00:14:31,016 --> 00:14:34,269
and, you know, just
the general state of things.
383
00:14:34,269 --> 00:14:35,229
I get it.
384
00:14:35,979 --> 00:14:37,481
I think about
that stuff too, but...
385
00:14:39,191 --> 00:14:41,151
I don't know,
sometimes you just
gotta listen to your heart
386
00:14:41,819 --> 00:14:44,738
and trust that
everything is gonna work out.
387
00:14:46,657 --> 00:14:48,325
Listening to your heart...
388
00:14:48,826 --> 00:14:51,411
trusting, that's
not my strength.
389
00:14:53,122 --> 00:14:54,915
We all got something
to learn, I guess.
390
00:14:57,209 --> 00:14:59,211
You can trust me,
you know.
391
00:15:01,713 --> 00:15:03,215
I can trust the man
who can't remember
392
00:15:03,215 --> 00:15:04,591
a three month‐aversary?
393
00:15:06,593 --> 00:15:08,220
Cubs or White Sox?
394
00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:09,513
Or the Royals?
395
00:15:09,513 --> 00:15:11,974
Cubs. Duh.
Always love an underdog.
396
00:15:13,642 --> 00:15:15,352
You can't call
the Cubs an underdog
397
00:15:15,352 --> 00:15:16,687
if they won
the World Series.
398
00:15:16,687 --> 00:15:19,314
They ate rocks
my entire childhood.
399
00:15:19,314 --> 00:15:20,983
They could win
the next ten World Series,
400
00:15:20,983 --> 00:15:22,651
and I could still
call them an underdog.
401
00:15:23,318 --> 00:15:24,862
Wha‐what was
your favorite movie?
402
00:15:26,613 --> 00:15:27,865
Okay, but don't laugh.
403
00:15:27,865 --> 00:15:29,116
Okay, I promise.
404
00:15:32,744 --> 00:15:33,662
Up.
405
00:15:34,413 --> 00:15:35,455
Up?
406
00:15:36,331 --> 00:15:38,625
With the, the talking dogs
who fly the airplanes?
407
00:15:38,625 --> 00:15:39,751
You said you
weren't gonna laugh.
408
00:15:39,751 --> 00:15:41,879
Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
I just...
409
00:15:42,713 --> 00:15:44,256
I never would have
thought that
410
00:15:44,256 --> 00:15:45,757
that you would say...
411
00:15:45,757 --> 00:15:48,343
It's just, it's just
the beginning of
that movie, okay,
412
00:15:48,343 --> 00:15:50,179
where you see
the whole relationship
413
00:15:50,179 --> 00:15:52,431
between the old man
and his wife
414
00:15:52,431 --> 00:15:53,974
and then she dies.
415
00:15:54,683 --> 00:15:55,684
It's just...
416
00:15:56,101 --> 00:15:58,520
That's the first time
I knew what love was
417
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,440
and... the kind
of love I wanted.
418
00:16:02,858 --> 00:16:04,067
Wow!
419
00:16:05,194 --> 00:16:07,571
You're kind of
a romantic, huh?
420
00:16:11,825 --> 00:16:12,826
I like that movie too.
421
00:16:18,081 --> 00:16:19,124
Did you ever
422
00:16:19,791 --> 00:16:21,585
hook up with anyone
from high school?
423
00:16:23,212 --> 00:16:24,671
‐Guys, you mean?
‐Mm‐hmm.
424
00:16:26,590 --> 00:16:27,466
Hell no.
425
00:16:28,508 --> 00:16:29,468
Did you?
426
00:16:29,468 --> 00:16:31,178
I made out
with Scotty Sharp once.
427
00:16:31,553 --> 00:16:32,512
But that was about it.
428
00:16:32,930 --> 00:16:34,848
He's... definitely straight.
429
00:16:37,309 --> 00:16:40,270
You know who I always thought
was a little not straight.
430
00:16:40,729 --> 00:16:42,356
‐Hmm?
‐Kris.
431
00:16:42,356 --> 00:16:44,566
(gasps)
Kelly's Kris?
432
00:16:44,566 --> 00:16:46,109
No, me too!
433
00:16:46,109 --> 00:16:48,320
And now he and Kelly
are engaged. Oh!
434
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,155
You know
what's even weirder
435
00:16:50,155 --> 00:16:51,823
than the kinda gay thing?
436
00:16:51,823 --> 00:16:55,661
He and Kelly have been
best friends since,
like, sixth grade.
437
00:16:56,161 --> 00:16:57,579
Yeah. Well, you know
what they say,
438
00:16:57,579 --> 00:16:59,665
you're supposed to marry
your best friend, so...
439
00:17:00,499 --> 00:17:02,876
I guess. But I don't think
that's what they meant.
440
00:17:03,710 --> 00:17:04,836
I don't know,
I mean,
441
00:17:05,379 --> 00:17:07,756
I guess it's fine
for straight people,
442
00:17:07,756 --> 00:17:10,634
but a couple guys
could never do that.
443
00:17:11,093 --> 00:17:12,135
Really?
444
00:17:12,135 --> 00:17:13,929
‐You don't think?
‐No way.
445
00:17:13,929 --> 00:17:16,515
Once guys are
in the friend zone,
there's no getting out.
446
00:17:17,099 --> 00:17:20,269
The best you can hope for
is one night of awful sex
447
00:17:20,269 --> 00:17:22,729
but more than likely,
you're gonna have a lousy lay
448
00:17:22,729 --> 00:17:23,855
and ruin the friendship.
449
00:17:24,606 --> 00:17:26,984
Seriously, there is no way
450
00:17:26,984 --> 00:17:28,819
you don't end up worse off
than when you started.
451
00:17:28,819 --> 00:17:30,320
How can you be
so sure?
452
00:17:31,113 --> 00:17:32,406
I mean, l‐let's just say
453
00:17:33,031 --> 00:17:35,367
Malcolm and I
started out as friends,
454
00:17:35,993 --> 00:17:37,703
then, you know,
we started dating
455
00:17:37,703 --> 00:17:39,371
and I fell in love
with him,
456
00:17:39,955 --> 00:17:41,832
uh, but we,
457
00:17:41,832 --> 00:17:44,751
we weren't having
a lot of sex, you know,
458
00:17:45,168 --> 00:17:46,587
and then I find out
459
00:17:47,087 --> 00:17:48,630
that he's cheating on me
460
00:17:48,630 --> 00:17:50,465
with half
of his improv group.
461
00:17:51,466 --> 00:17:52,926
I lost him twice,
462
00:17:52,926 --> 00:17:54,011
in one night.
463
00:17:54,511 --> 00:17:55,929
I lost my boyfriend,
464
00:17:56,847 --> 00:17:58,140
and I lost
my best friend.
465
00:18:00,559 --> 00:18:01,518
I'm sorry.
466
00:18:02,686 --> 00:18:04,313
You deserve way better
than that.
467
00:18:11,653 --> 00:18:13,155
I should probably go
take a shower.
468
00:18:13,155 --> 00:18:14,448
I reek.
469
00:18:16,742 --> 00:18:20,329
♪ While we're layingby the poolside, poolside ♪
470
00:18:20,704 --> 00:18:23,206
♪ Getting tired from the sun ♪
471
00:18:24,583 --> 00:18:28,670
♪ Fading in and out oflong nights, long nights... ♪
472
00:18:28,670 --> 00:18:30,922
(line ringing)
473
00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:33,383
Stasia: (on phone) How is it?You okay? Did you punch him?
474
00:18:33,383 --> 00:18:34,968
No, it's, uh...
475
00:18:34,968 --> 00:18:37,346
it's actually
pretty great.
476
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:38,680
Stasia: Really?
477
00:18:39,765 --> 00:18:41,350
(shower running)
478
00:18:42,059 --> 00:18:45,562
♪ I wanna spendwith you, you ♪
479
00:18:46,063 --> 00:18:49,524
♪ I wanna bewith you, you ♪
480
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,654
♪ Just take in it all ♪
481
00:18:54,363 --> 00:18:57,324
♪ Just take in it all ♪
482
00:18:58,325 --> 00:19:01,495
♪ Just take in it all ♪
483
00:19:02,329 --> 00:19:05,332
♪ Just take in it all ♪
484
00:19:07,084 --> 00:19:10,045
♪ What a heavenly way to die ♪
485
00:19:10,921 --> 00:19:14,216
♪ What a time to be alive ♪
486
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:18,095
♪ Because forever isin your eyes ♪
487
00:19:18,762 --> 00:19:21,515
♪ But forever ain'thalf the time ♪
488
00:19:21,515 --> 00:19:25,018
♪ I wanna spendwith you, you ♪
489
00:19:25,435 --> 00:19:27,646
♪ I wanna spendwith you, you... ♪
490
00:19:27,646 --> 00:19:28,897
Suck‐up Sammy...
491
00:19:31,149 --> 00:19:32,150
that's funny.
492
00:20:01,096 --> 00:20:02,180
Did you sleep okay?
493
00:20:03,014 --> 00:20:05,016
Mm, I was
kinda lonely, but...
494
00:20:11,690 --> 00:20:13,024
(cell phone buzzes)
495
00:20:17,654 --> 00:20:19,114
(buzzes)
496
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:24,327
Is everything okay?
497
00:20:24,661 --> 00:20:26,997
Holy shit, it's past ten.
498
00:20:27,664 --> 00:20:29,666
We should probably,
uh, call the garage.
499
00:20:29,666 --> 00:20:30,834
See if the car is ready.
500
00:20:30,834 --> 00:20:32,461
I mean, if we want
to make it home
501
00:20:32,461 --> 00:20:33,587
in time for the party.
502
00:20:39,843 --> 00:20:41,136
Sam: Not much
has changed, huh?
503
00:20:42,179 --> 00:20:43,680
Harry:
That's not true.
504
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,016
There's an Applebee's where
the Fuddruckers used to be.
505
00:20:46,016 --> 00:20:47,476
(Sam chuckles)
506
00:20:48,018 --> 00:20:49,144
Sam: Oh, here we are.
507
00:20:53,607 --> 00:20:54,858
‐Hey, listen.
‐Yep.
508
00:20:55,358 --> 00:20:57,861
I really am sorry
509
00:20:57,861 --> 00:21:00,655
about being such
a dick during school.
510
00:21:02,282 --> 00:21:03,241
You're pretty awesome.
511
00:21:04,618 --> 00:21:06,912
So I was gonna
head back Monday.
512
00:21:07,829 --> 00:21:09,164
I was thinking
about leaving early,
513
00:21:09,164 --> 00:21:10,499
‐don't want
to hit rush hour.
‐(door opens)
514
00:21:13,376 --> 00:21:16,129
‐Who's that?
‐Harry: That's Lydia.
515
00:21:17,005 --> 00:21:18,673
Your ex. She came.
516
00:21:18,882 --> 00:21:22,093
I guess now she's more
like my ex‐ex.
517
00:21:23,303 --> 00:21:25,680
You're... back together.
518
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,974
Yeah, she, uh,
texted this morning.
519
00:21:28,391 --> 00:21:29,851
Said she was sorry
520
00:21:29,851 --> 00:21:31,520
and she wanted
to work it out
521
00:21:32,103 --> 00:21:34,397
and that she was
already driving over
to meet me, so...
522
00:21:36,233 --> 00:21:37,108
(squeals)
523
00:21:37,943 --> 00:21:38,777
Lydia: Hi, baby.
524
00:21:39,277 --> 00:21:40,487
See you back
at school?
525
00:21:44,157 --> 00:21:45,075
(car door closes)
526
00:21:49,162 --> 00:21:51,498
‐Lydia: I missed you...
‐Harry: I missed you too.
527
00:22:00,215 --> 00:22:02,092
‐(club music playing)
‐(indistinct chatter)
528
00:22:02,092 --> 00:22:03,927
Stasia: So I told him
it was over.
529
00:22:03,927 --> 00:22:05,679
You broke up
with him?
530
00:22:05,679 --> 00:22:08,265
Break‐up implies we had some
sort of commitment to break,
531
00:22:08,265 --> 00:22:10,600
which we did not,
but yeah.
532
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,644
He was starting to get
all needy and possessive.
533
00:22:13,019 --> 00:22:15,480
Gary... was getting
possessive?
534
00:22:16,022 --> 00:22:18,567
He insisted on taking me
out tonight, for one thing.
535
00:22:18,567 --> 00:22:21,486
I don't think wanting
to take your girlfriend
of three‐plus years
536
00:22:21,486 --> 00:22:24,197
out on Valentine's Day
qualifies as being possessive.
537
00:22:24,197 --> 00:22:25,824
He knew I had plans
with you.
538
00:22:25,824 --> 00:22:27,784
What, to go to
a Singles Only party?
539
00:22:27,784 --> 00:22:28,952
Stasia: Yeah, exactly.
540
00:22:28,952 --> 00:22:30,620
(Sam sighs)
You're okay?
541
00:22:30,620 --> 00:22:31,746
Totally!
542
00:22:31,746 --> 00:22:33,248
I'm relieved,
to be honest.
543
00:22:33,248 --> 00:22:35,500
You know me. Relationships
just aren't my thing.
544
00:22:35,500 --> 00:22:36,835
Except for that
you've been in one
545
00:22:36,835 --> 00:22:38,795
almost the entire time
I've known you.
546
00:22:38,795 --> 00:22:40,005
Mmm.
547
00:22:40,005 --> 00:22:43,008
(club music playing)
548
00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:53,143
(music continues)
549
00:22:58,106 --> 00:22:58,940
Bry!
550
00:22:59,357 --> 00:23:00,275
Bryan!
551
00:23:01,151 --> 00:23:02,235
Hey, girl!
552
00:23:02,527 --> 00:23:03,820
Hey, real girl!
553
00:23:04,779 --> 00:23:05,780
Hey.
554
00:23:06,489 --> 00:23:09,659
Two Solo cups
for two solos.
555
00:23:10,035 --> 00:23:11,077
Get it.
556
00:23:11,494 --> 00:23:13,496
‐Cheers, queers.
‐Cheers!
557
00:23:15,832 --> 00:23:17,000
Ohh!
558
00:23:18,043 --> 00:23:19,210
Most of the hot guys
have congregated
559
00:23:19,210 --> 00:23:21,004
to the
queer pong table.
560
00:23:21,004 --> 00:23:23,256
That's beer pong for...
You get it.
561
00:23:23,715 --> 00:23:25,884
Anyway, that's where
you'll have the best luck
562
00:23:25,884 --> 00:23:28,261
unless you're into
the ladies.
563
00:23:28,261 --> 00:23:31,348
Ohh, just your basic
straight girl unfortunately.
564
00:23:31,348 --> 00:23:33,016
Queer pong
it is, then.
565
00:23:33,016 --> 00:23:35,477
Don't worry. There's plenty
of straight meat over there too.
566
00:23:35,477 --> 00:23:37,020
Okay, let's go.
Come on.
567
00:23:37,020 --> 00:23:38,313
Thanks, Bryan.
568
00:23:39,981 --> 00:23:43,193
So apparently,
there's a million
single people in Chicago,
569
00:23:43,193 --> 00:23:44,736
and I still can't
get a date.
570
00:23:44,736 --> 00:23:45,779
Oh, you can get
a date.
571
00:23:45,779 --> 00:23:47,113
You're just
too scared to try.
572
00:23:47,113 --> 00:23:49,157
I'm not scared,
I'm picky.
573
00:23:49,157 --> 00:23:50,659
Picky is just
an excuse
574
00:23:50,659 --> 00:23:52,327
so you don't have
to put yourself out there.
575
00:23:52,327 --> 00:23:54,496
‐Not true.
‐Really?
576
00:23:54,496 --> 00:23:56,414
Okay, then you know what?
I'm gonna pick out some guys,
577
00:23:56,414 --> 00:23:57,499
and you're going
to go talk to them.
578
00:23:57,916 --> 00:24:00,168
‐Fine.
‐(laughing) Oh!
579
00:24:01,753 --> 00:24:03,630
What about...
580
00:24:04,172 --> 00:24:05,215
him?
581
00:24:05,507 --> 00:24:06,925
Oh, who, Toucan Sam?
582
00:24:07,425 --> 00:24:09,594
You know what they say
about big noses.
583
00:24:09,594 --> 00:24:11,096
‐Big boogers.
‐Ugh!
584
00:24:11,096 --> 00:24:12,472
You're gross. Okay.
585
00:24:12,931 --> 00:24:15,892
Fine. What about...
586
00:24:16,226 --> 00:24:17,185
him.
587
00:24:17,811 --> 00:24:20,063
Sam: Oh,
the lost Kardashian brother?
588
00:24:20,522 --> 00:24:23,483
I guarantee you
that his camera roll is
589
00:24:23,483 --> 00:24:26,319
95 percent pictures
of himself.
590
00:24:26,319 --> 00:24:28,655
Okay, fine, Mr. Picky.
591
00:24:29,072 --> 00:24:31,491
What about...
592
00:24:31,992 --> 00:24:32,993
Overalls?
593
00:24:33,493 --> 00:24:34,744
He's totally
your type.
594
00:24:35,286 --> 00:24:37,163
Honestly, with a body
like that,
595
00:24:37,163 --> 00:24:38,498
if he's not
good enough for you,
596
00:24:38,498 --> 00:24:40,333
he is definitely
good enough for me.
597
00:24:44,546 --> 00:24:45,964
Oh shit!
598
00:24:45,964 --> 00:24:47,716
‐Sam!
‐Can we get out of here?
599
00:24:47,716 --> 00:24:49,467
‐Harry: Sam!
‐Why? Who is that?
You want me to beat him up?
600
00:24:49,467 --> 00:24:51,094
‐No.
‐Suck‐up Sammy!
601
00:24:51,886 --> 00:24:54,097
‐Both: Ohh!
‐Oh, too late.
602
00:24:54,097 --> 00:24:56,349
What's up?
How you been, man?
603
00:24:56,349 --> 00:24:59,310
Good, man!
How about you?
604
00:24:59,310 --> 00:25:01,896
Uh, you know, chillin'
like strawberry fillin'.
605
00:25:02,897 --> 00:25:03,940
Li‐like in a doughnut.
606
00:25:03,940 --> 00:25:05,859
You know, tasty.
607
00:25:06,484 --> 00:25:08,069
I‐I'm kind of wasted.
608
00:25:08,069 --> 00:25:09,237
I'm Harry, by the way.
609
00:25:09,237 --> 00:25:10,905
Oh, I know
who you are.
610
00:25:10,905 --> 00:25:11,990
Yeah?
611
00:25:12,657 --> 00:25:14,826
Well, uh,
who are you?
612
00:25:14,826 --> 00:25:17,495
This is Stasia,
my best friend.
613
00:25:17,495 --> 00:25:18,538
Nice.
614
00:25:20,165 --> 00:25:23,084
So, uh, what are you doing
at a Singles Only party?
615
00:25:23,084 --> 00:25:24,377
I thought you had
a girlfriend.
616
00:25:24,377 --> 00:25:26,588
‐Huh?
‐Your girlfriend. Lydia.
617
00:25:26,588 --> 00:25:28,048
That's her name, right?
618
00:25:28,048 --> 00:25:29,841
Thee one that you had
the big fight with,
619
00:25:29,841 --> 00:25:31,176
so you had to ride
with me back home.
620
00:25:31,634 --> 00:25:33,094
‐And then you guys made up.
‐Yeah.
621
00:25:33,094 --> 00:25:34,679
‐So you ditched me.
‐Uh, whaa...
622
00:25:34,679 --> 00:25:36,556
I didn't ditch you,
my girlfriend showed up.
623
00:25:36,556 --> 00:25:37,515
Whatever.
624
00:25:37,974 --> 00:25:39,350
I'm guessing you guys
aren't still together,
625
00:25:39,350 --> 00:25:40,852
seeing as you
can't remember her name?
626
00:25:40,852 --> 00:25:42,729
Nah, uh, we broke up
627
00:25:42,729 --> 00:25:44,647
before we even
got back to Chicago.
628
00:25:44,647 --> 00:25:46,816
If you'd ever
texted me back
629
00:25:46,816 --> 00:25:47,984
after our road trip,
630
00:25:47,984 --> 00:25:49,152
you might have known that.
631
00:25:49,652 --> 00:25:51,071
Oh, uh...
632
00:25:51,071 --> 00:25:52,697
Yeah, sorry,
I just, um...
633
00:25:53,656 --> 00:25:56,159
I‐I got back to school
and got wrapped up in classes.
634
00:25:56,159 --> 00:25:57,869
‐You know me.
‐So, yeah,
635
00:25:57,869 --> 00:25:59,162
um, after Lynnea...
636
00:25:59,162 --> 00:26:00,997
‐Lydia.
‐Right.
637
00:26:01,831 --> 00:26:04,250
Lydia. Lynnea came after.
638
00:26:04,250 --> 00:26:05,710
Before the first Mike.
639
00:26:05,710 --> 00:26:07,670
Anyway, so let's just say
that I just felt like
640
00:26:07,670 --> 00:26:10,340
I was playing into
the whole pan stereotype,
641
00:26:10,340 --> 00:26:11,549
‐so I‐‐
‐Which is?
642
00:26:12,634 --> 00:26:15,220
That we, you know...
get around.
643
00:26:15,220 --> 00:26:18,681
"Get around." Is that, like,
a nice way of saying "slutty"?
644
00:26:18,681 --> 00:26:20,350
Ah, come on.
645
00:26:20,350 --> 00:26:21,434
I'm a romantic.
646
00:26:21,810 --> 00:26:22,811
You know that.
647
00:26:24,229 --> 00:26:25,897
I'm just looking for Mr...
648
00:26:26,564 --> 00:26:27,816
Mrs...
649
00:26:27,816 --> 00:26:29,150
Person Right.
650
00:26:29,901 --> 00:26:31,111
Bu‐but you know
what they say,
651
00:26:31,111 --> 00:26:33,196
the definition of insanity
is doing the same thing
652
00:26:33,196 --> 00:26:34,489
over and over again
653
00:26:34,489 --> 00:26:35,907
and expecting
a different result,
654
00:26:35,907 --> 00:26:39,077
so... I decided
to pull the plug,
655
00:26:39,077 --> 00:26:40,120
go full monk.
656
00:26:40,703 --> 00:26:42,997
No more dating.
Totally celibate.
657
00:26:44,457 --> 00:26:46,543
You... are celibate?
658
00:26:49,587 --> 00:26:50,463
For how long?
659
00:26:51,506 --> 00:26:52,715
Okay, it's only been
a couple of days.
660
00:26:53,424 --> 00:26:54,843
I'm serious
about this.
661
00:26:56,344 --> 00:26:57,804
‐What?
‐Um...
662
00:26:57,804 --> 00:26:59,347
‐What?
‐You know what?
663
00:27:00,348 --> 00:27:02,267
‐Stasia?
‐Oh my God!
664
00:27:02,684 --> 00:27:03,935
I'm gonna get
a refill
665
00:27:04,602 --> 00:27:05,687
or some embalming fluid.
666
00:27:05,687 --> 00:27:07,647
Because that would be
less strong. My God!
667
00:27:08,565 --> 00:27:09,482
Ugh!
668
00:27:12,861 --> 00:27:16,364
Okay. So if you're so serious
about not dating,
669
00:27:16,364 --> 00:27:17,615
why are you at this party?
670
00:27:17,615 --> 00:27:19,826
Oh yeah,
my friends dragged me.
671
00:27:19,826 --> 00:27:20,910
Oh.
672
00:27:20,910 --> 00:27:22,954
Plus I've been painting
my new apartment,
673
00:27:22,954 --> 00:27:24,664
and I needed something
to clean the paintbrushes.
674
00:27:28,334 --> 00:27:30,336
So, uh, what have you
been up to
675
00:27:30,336 --> 00:27:32,046
since graduation?
676
00:27:33,047 --> 00:27:34,591
I'm, um...
677
00:27:36,050 --> 00:27:37,886
working for
Nadia Custo.
678
00:27:39,846 --> 00:27:41,347
Should I know
who that is?
679
00:27:42,015 --> 00:27:43,433
I don't know,
did you date her?
680
00:27:44,642 --> 00:27:46,102
No, she's running
for mayor.
681
00:27:46,102 --> 00:27:47,896
She's a,
a real progressive,
682
00:27:47,896 --> 00:27:50,815
and it's part of my job
to make sure people like you
683
00:27:50,815 --> 00:27:52,025
know who she is.
684
00:27:52,734 --> 00:27:54,777
So you're, like, in charge
of PR or something?
685
00:27:54,777 --> 00:27:56,821
Uh... no, I just started.
686
00:27:56,821 --> 00:27:58,698
I'm one of her
community organizers.
687
00:27:58,698 --> 00:28:02,410
It's basically like
one step up from volunteers.
688
00:28:02,410 --> 00:28:03,828
Hey, no need
to be embarrassed.
689
00:28:03,828 --> 00:28:05,580
I'm folding shirts
these days.
690
00:28:05,580 --> 00:28:07,874
Well, that's...
is that, um...
691
00:28:08,499 --> 00:28:10,585
Is that‐‐ Sorry, you never
actually told me your major.
692
00:28:10,585 --> 00:28:12,253
Was it retail
693
00:28:12,253 --> 00:28:14,839
or, um... fashion?
694
00:28:15,882 --> 00:28:17,216
Is that so hard
to believe?
695
00:28:17,216 --> 00:28:18,426
Kinda.
696
00:28:19,385 --> 00:28:22,096
Uh, no. I, I didn't
major in fashion.
697
00:28:22,513 --> 00:28:25,475
I majored in something
much more important than that.
698
00:28:25,475 --> 00:28:26,684
‐Huh?
‐Marketing.
699
00:28:26,684 --> 00:28:27,727
Uh...
700
00:28:29,270 --> 00:28:31,314
‐What, are you judging me...
‐Mn‐mn.
701
00:28:31,314 --> 00:28:33,316
‐...Mr. Politics.
‐Not at all.
702
00:28:33,316 --> 00:28:35,526
Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
you are. I can tell.
703
00:28:35,526 --> 00:28:37,195
What do you think
politics is, anyway?
704
00:28:37,737 --> 00:28:40,740
It's just marketing
the same candidate
different ways.
705
00:28:40,740 --> 00:28:42,659
They are not
all the same.
706
00:28:42,659 --> 00:28:45,536
Nadia Custo wants healthcare
for everybody.
707
00:28:45,536 --> 00:28:47,872
She wants more money
for public education.
708
00:28:47,872 --> 00:28:49,332
She's even looking
at a plan right now
709
00:28:49,332 --> 00:28:51,125
to get cars out of
the downtown core.
710
00:28:51,125 --> 00:28:52,877
Talk about a game changer!
711
00:28:52,877 --> 00:28:54,462
‐Settle down, AOC.
‐Oh!
712
00:28:54,462 --> 00:28:55,505
I, I believe you.
713
00:28:58,508 --> 00:29:01,386
(dance music playing)
714
00:29:05,598 --> 00:29:07,266
You're seriously
not dating right now?
715
00:29:10,687 --> 00:29:12,522
Okay, I should
probably go, uh...
716
00:29:13,231 --> 00:29:15,733
check on Stasia,
make sure she's not
terrorizing anyone.
717
00:29:16,484 --> 00:29:17,735
Oh, uh, okay.
718
00:29:17,735 --> 00:29:19,612
Yeah, and I'll get
some more of this
719
00:29:19,612 --> 00:29:21,072
uh, you know,
paintbrush cleaner.
720
00:29:21,072 --> 00:29:22,991
Yeah, I'll take another one
if you're going.
721
00:29:22,991 --> 00:29:25,702
Uh, okay. Uh, yeah.
Sure, I got you.
722
00:29:26,995 --> 00:29:28,037
Hurry back.
723
00:29:34,335 --> 00:29:36,254
Oh my God!
724
00:29:36,254 --> 00:29:37,505
He's adorable.
725
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:39,924
How come in all the millions
of times you've told me
726
00:29:39,924 --> 00:29:41,884
the story of
the road trip from hell,
727
00:29:41,884 --> 00:29:43,761
you never mentioned
how fricking hot he is.
728
00:29:43,761 --> 00:29:45,013
Sam: I don't know.
729
00:29:45,013 --> 00:29:46,639
You should be
all over that.
730
00:29:47,140 --> 00:29:49,392
He's not dating now.
731
00:29:49,392 --> 00:29:50,518
Oh please.
732
00:29:50,518 --> 00:29:52,770
He's basically begging you
to give him a reason
733
00:29:52,770 --> 00:29:54,313
to break his vow
of chastity.
734
00:29:54,939 --> 00:29:57,567
If I've learned one thing
from politics,
735
00:29:57,567 --> 00:30:00,069
it's that you can't
make someone vote
for your candidate
736
00:30:00,069 --> 00:30:01,696
if they're not going
to the polls at all.
737
00:30:02,238 --> 00:30:04,198
You're not running
for office.
738
00:30:04,198 --> 00:30:05,825
You are trying
to get laid.
739
00:30:05,825 --> 00:30:08,077
You know me.
I don't do the,
740
00:30:08,077 --> 00:30:10,872
you know, casual
one night thing very well.
741
00:30:11,330 --> 00:30:12,582
Sure.
742
00:30:13,082 --> 00:30:15,043
But you're never gonna get
to a second night
743
00:30:15,043 --> 00:30:17,503
if you don't do
the first one, Samwich.
744
00:30:17,962 --> 00:30:20,757
Now get back out there
and throw yourself
745
00:30:20,757 --> 00:30:22,759
at that hot piece
of man‐ass
746
00:30:22,759 --> 00:30:25,011
before I call your mom
and tell her you quit therapy.
747
00:30:25,011 --> 00:30:26,095
(gasps)
748
00:30:27,013 --> 00:30:28,056
‐Fine.
‐(Stasia giggles)
749
00:30:28,806 --> 00:30:29,640
Wait.
750
00:30:33,144 --> 00:30:34,687
‐No. No‐‐
‐No, it's coming off.
751
00:30:34,687 --> 00:30:36,147
‐It's coming off.
‐Okay, okay, okay.
752
00:30:36,564 --> 00:30:38,733
♪ I like the way you talk ♪
753
00:30:38,733 --> 00:30:40,318
♪ I like the thingsyou wear... ♪
754
00:30:40,318 --> 00:30:41,402
Much better.
755
00:30:41,402 --> 00:30:43,821
♪ I want your numbertattooed on my arm ♪
756
00:30:43,821 --> 00:30:45,323
♪ In ink, I swear ♪
757
00:30:45,323 --> 00:30:47,575
♪ 'Cause whenthe morning comes ♪
758
00:30:47,575 --> 00:30:49,827
♪ I know you won't be there ♪
759
00:30:50,328 --> 00:30:53,498
♪ Every time I turn aroundyou disappear... ♪
760
00:30:53,498 --> 00:30:54,832
Hey, Frat Paddle.
761
00:30:55,833 --> 00:30:57,627
I'm recently single,
762
00:30:57,627 --> 00:30:59,420
and I'm gonna need you
to take me into some sort
763
00:30:59,420 --> 00:31:01,422
of bathroom or closet
764
00:31:01,422 --> 00:31:03,091
and just screw me
into oblivion.
765
00:31:03,549 --> 00:31:06,219
No names, no wants,
no needs,
766
00:31:06,219 --> 00:31:08,888
just two animals
going at it.
767
00:31:09,472 --> 00:31:10,807
You think you
can do that for me?
768
00:31:12,433 --> 00:31:13,476
Attaboy.
769
00:31:14,352 --> 00:31:16,020
♪ I know you won't be there ♪
770
00:31:16,938 --> 00:31:20,942
♪ Every time I turn around,you disappear... ♪
771
00:31:20,942 --> 00:31:21,984
Nice moves.
772
00:31:21,984 --> 00:31:23,152
Oh yeah?
You like that?
773
00:31:23,152 --> 00:31:24,487
Yeah, sure.
774
00:31:24,862 --> 00:31:27,448
It works in a, like,
is‐there‐an‐earthquake
775
00:31:27,448 --> 00:31:29,408
or‐is‐he‐ahead‐of‐his‐time
kinda way.
776
00:31:30,159 --> 00:31:31,994
Thanks, I think.
777
00:31:37,291 --> 00:31:38,709
Did you just...
778
00:31:38,709 --> 00:31:40,753
Are you flirting
with that guy?
779
00:31:41,212 --> 00:31:42,380
What? No.
780
00:31:42,380 --> 00:31:43,381
Yes, you were.
781
00:31:43,381 --> 00:31:44,924
You just gave him
one of these.
782
00:31:44,924 --> 00:31:46,342
‐I‐‐
‐I mean, I get it.
783
00:31:46,342 --> 00:31:47,593
He's super hot.
784
00:31:47,593 --> 00:31:49,053
You should totally
ask him out.
785
00:31:49,053 --> 00:31:50,513
That wasn't flirting.
786
00:31:50,513 --> 00:31:52,056
Look, I don't care.
787
00:31:52,056 --> 00:31:54,058
Just own up to it,
Mr. Celibate.
788
00:31:54,058 --> 00:31:55,351
I wasn't flirting.
789
00:31:55,643 --> 00:31:57,562
Look, I'm not gonna
fight you on it...
790
00:31:58,563 --> 00:31:59,647
but you definitely did.
791
00:31:59,647 --> 00:32:00,815
Okay, you're acting
like a freak.
792
00:32:00,815 --> 00:32:02,525
Is there something
you wanna say?
793
00:32:02,984 --> 00:32:04,277
I'm not a freak.
794
00:32:05,069 --> 00:32:06,904
You're a freak.
You're a freak
795
00:32:06,904 --> 00:32:09,115
who can't keep
his horse in the barn.
796
00:32:09,824 --> 00:32:11,117
Is that right, Grampa?
797
00:32:11,117 --> 00:32:13,786
Well, at least I'm not afraid
to ride a horse.
798
00:32:14,662 --> 00:32:16,122
‐Wow!
‐Mmm.
799
00:32:16,706 --> 00:32:20,376
Well, that's better
than being the rodeo clown.
800
00:32:21,169 --> 00:32:22,170
What does that even mean?
801
00:32:22,170 --> 00:32:23,379
I think you know.
802
00:32:23,379 --> 00:32:25,298
Hey, uh, I'm gonna
get out of here.
803
00:32:25,298 --> 00:32:26,549
I just had sex
with this guy,
804
00:32:26,549 --> 00:32:28,009
and he's waiting
in the bathroom for round two
805
00:32:28,009 --> 00:32:29,135
and I just don't
have it in me.
806
00:32:29,135 --> 00:32:30,511
Great. I'll come with.
807
00:32:30,511 --> 00:32:31,721
Nothing keeping me here.
808
00:32:32,263 --> 00:32:33,389
Good seeing you, Harry.
809
00:32:34,307 --> 00:32:36,058
♪ Every time I turn around ♪
810
00:32:36,058 --> 00:32:40,688
♪ You disappear ♪
811
00:32:41,314 --> 00:32:42,732
♪ I got love for you ♪
812
00:32:43,482 --> 00:32:44,609
♪ I got love for you ♪
813
00:32:44,609 --> 00:32:45,776
♪ Nice to meet ya ♪
814
00:32:45,776 --> 00:32:47,153
♪ I got love for you ♪
815
00:32:51,782 --> 00:32:52,950
Oh, come on,
you missing link.
816
00:32:52,950 --> 00:32:55,536
Hey, we gotta leave soon.
You need to get ready.
817
00:32:55,995 --> 00:32:58,206
What is it, black tie
or something? I'm ready.
818
00:32:58,789 --> 00:33:00,249
You might wanna
put on some pants.
819
00:33:01,042 --> 00:33:02,293
Hey, you're the one
in a towel.
820
00:33:02,293 --> 00:33:03,502
Go get ready.
821
00:33:03,502 --> 00:33:06,130
Harry, we both know you're
gonna wait until the last sec
822
00:33:06,130 --> 00:33:07,924
and then rip on some pants
super fast, but then
823
00:33:07,924 --> 00:33:09,383
you're gonna want
to check your hair
824
00:33:09,383 --> 00:33:10,551
and you're gonna
spend 20 minutes
825
00:33:10,551 --> 00:33:12,220
making it look like
you didn't check your hair.
826
00:33:12,220 --> 00:33:13,429
So get off the game‐‐
827
00:33:13,429 --> 00:33:14,555
Quit riding me, Zach.
828
00:33:14,555 --> 00:33:16,224
I just wanna finish
the campaign, okay.
829
00:33:16,224 --> 00:33:17,350
First of all...
830
00:33:18,184 --> 00:33:19,435
you wish I was
riding you.
831
00:33:20,853 --> 00:33:22,688
Yo, I love it when you get
all dom with me.
832
00:33:22,688 --> 00:33:23,981
You need to get laid.
833
00:33:24,690 --> 00:33:25,900
Get ready. Now!
834
00:33:32,448 --> 00:33:33,282
Sorry, boys.
835
00:33:33,699 --> 00:33:34,659
Where were we?
836
00:33:34,659 --> 00:33:35,576
Zach: Harry!
837
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:37,662
So who organized this again?
838
00:33:38,329 --> 00:33:39,455
My niece.
839
00:33:39,455 --> 00:33:41,666
Oh yeah. It starts
at 8:00, right?
840
00:33:41,666 --> 00:33:42,833
We should make it.
841
00:33:44,001 --> 00:33:46,087
Sorry. It's just the campaign
is really ramping up,
842
00:33:46,087 --> 00:33:47,838
what with the primaries
next month.
843
00:33:48,464 --> 00:33:50,633
You know, she asked us
not to be late, Sam.
844
00:33:51,217 --> 00:33:53,219
Uh, Usain Dolt,
can we chill?
845
00:33:53,219 --> 00:33:54,971
Eat my dingleberries.
846
00:33:54,971 --> 00:33:56,430
That was rude!
847
00:33:56,430 --> 00:33:58,683
No, making me late for
my girlfriend's trivia night,
848
00:33:58,683 --> 00:33:59,850
that's rude!
849
00:33:59,850 --> 00:34:02,103
Dude, you really need to start
meditating or something.
850
00:34:02,478 --> 00:34:04,313
This kinda stress isn't good
for your heart.
851
00:34:10,236 --> 00:34:11,570
See? Right on time.
852
00:34:13,364 --> 00:34:14,865
She really wants to make sure
we win this week,
853
00:34:14,865 --> 00:34:16,158
so she's brought in
a couple ringers
854
00:34:16,158 --> 00:34:17,952
to handle all the stuff
that none of us know.
855
00:34:17,952 --> 00:34:20,204
‐Like what?
‐Art and politics.
856
00:34:20,204 --> 00:34:21,497
‐Uh‐huh.
‐Oh wait.
857
00:34:21,497 --> 00:34:22,873
‐They're here.
‐Who?
858
00:34:22,873 --> 00:34:25,126
My uncle Paul
and his boyfriend Sam.
859
00:34:27,169 --> 00:34:29,422
Shit! Can we go?
860
00:34:30,047 --> 00:34:31,465
‐What? Why?
‐It's just that, um...
861
00:34:31,799 --> 00:34:34,051
I'm not feeling
especially trivial right now.
862
00:34:34,051 --> 00:34:35,386
Oh my gosh, relax.
863
00:34:35,386 --> 00:34:36,470
Come on, Sam.
Let's do this.
864
00:34:36,470 --> 00:34:38,014
‐Hey.
‐Hey!
865
00:34:38,014 --> 00:34:40,141
Good to see you.
(kisses)
866
00:34:40,141 --> 00:34:41,600
You remember Zach,
Uncle Paul.
867
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:42,685
‐Of course I do.
‐Good to see you.
868
00:34:42,685 --> 00:34:43,978
And, um,
this is Sam.
869
00:34:43,978 --> 00:34:45,479
Sam, this is
my boyfriend Zach.
870
00:34:45,479 --> 00:34:47,732
Oh, and this is Harry,
his roommate.
871
00:34:48,065 --> 00:34:48,941
Hi.
872
00:34:49,358 --> 00:34:52,611
Okay, folks, we haveseven killer teams
873
00:34:52,611 --> 00:34:54,655
for tonight'sTrivia To the Death.
874
00:34:54,655 --> 00:34:55,948
So grab your seat.We're about to start.
875
00:34:55,948 --> 00:34:58,075
Is that Harry,
Harry from the road trip?
876
00:34:58,701 --> 00:35:00,286
Oh God. I didn't know.
877
00:35:00,286 --> 00:35:01,662
‐I'm so sorry, babe.
‐It's okay.
878
00:35:04,624 --> 00:35:06,167
Paul: So, how's my sister?
879
00:35:06,167 --> 00:35:08,210
So you're dating
Nancy Fancy Pants, huh?
880
00:35:08,878 --> 00:35:10,588
His name is Paul,
thank you,
881
00:35:10,588 --> 00:35:11,756
and he's really great.
882
00:35:12,590 --> 00:35:15,051
I can't help it
if he's super smart
883
00:35:15,051 --> 00:35:17,637
and super handsome
and a super successful
art dealer.
884
00:35:19,597 --> 00:35:20,681
And so what if I am...
885
00:35:21,515 --> 00:35:22,433
dating him?
886
00:35:23,184 --> 00:35:24,018
Why do you care?
887
00:35:24,685 --> 00:35:26,145
If I'd known you were
into rich old guys,
888
00:35:26,145 --> 00:35:27,730
I would have introduced you
to my grandfather.
889
00:35:27,730 --> 00:35:29,398
That's super ageist.
890
00:35:30,107 --> 00:35:31,442
At least I'm not
a man‐whore.
891
00:35:31,442 --> 00:35:33,402
Excuse me. I've been
celibate for several...
892
00:35:34,904 --> 00:35:36,405
days this year.
893
00:35:38,324 --> 00:35:39,784
So where are you working
these days?
894
00:35:39,784 --> 00:35:41,077
Still folding shirts
for a living?
895
00:35:41,535 --> 00:35:43,412
As a matter of fact,
I am not.
896
00:35:43,829 --> 00:35:45,206
‐Really?
‐Hmm?
897
00:35:45,206 --> 00:35:46,290
What are you doing?
898
00:35:47,083 --> 00:35:49,627
I'm, I'm in
telecommunications.
899
00:35:49,627 --> 00:35:51,337
‐Oh yeah?
‐Mm‐hmm.
900
00:35:51,337 --> 00:35:52,755
Who you working for?
901
00:35:52,755 --> 00:35:56,342
I'm selling phones
at a kiosk on the Pier.
902
00:35:56,342 --> 00:35:58,010
Now can you be
quiet, please?
903
00:35:58,010 --> 00:35:59,136
They're starting.
904
00:35:59,136 --> 00:36:03,015
Okay, folks. Now we knowhow this works, right?
905
00:36:03,015 --> 00:36:05,976
This first team to ringthe bell with the right answergets one point.
906
00:36:05,976 --> 00:36:07,728
At the end of each round,
907
00:36:07,728 --> 00:36:10,314
the team with the lowest scoregets eliminated.
908
00:36:11,190 --> 00:36:12,441
Question one:
909
00:36:12,441 --> 00:36:15,152
what was the firstmulti‐platform
910
00:36:15,778 --> 00:36:16,821
web browser?
911
00:36:16,821 --> 00:36:18,155
‐(dings)
‐Mosaic.
912
00:36:18,155 --> 00:36:19,865
Emcee: Correct.Please don't hurt yourselves.
913
00:36:19,865 --> 00:36:21,492
One point, team five.
914
00:36:21,492 --> 00:36:22,660
Question two:
915
00:36:22,660 --> 00:36:24,662
what is the biggest island
916
00:36:24,662 --> 00:36:25,788
on Earth?
917
00:36:26,247 --> 00:36:27,164
‐(dings)
‐Greenland.
918
00:36:27,164 --> 00:36:28,833
‐Nice.
‐Yeah!
919
00:36:29,500 --> 00:36:30,876
Come on,
everybody knows that.
920
00:36:32,336 --> 00:36:34,004
Emcee: Question 32:
921
00:36:34,004 --> 00:36:36,298
what nut can you useto make an explosive?
922
00:36:36,298 --> 00:36:37,800
‐(bell dings)
‐Peanut.
923
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:38,801
Emcee: Correct.
924
00:36:38,801 --> 00:36:40,177
Peanut‐brained,
am I right?
925
00:36:40,177 --> 00:36:42,096
Emcee: Who was the firstbaseball team to win
926
00:36:42,096 --> 00:36:45,349
two World Series trophiesin the '80s?
927
00:36:45,349 --> 00:36:46,517
(bell dings)
928
00:36:46,517 --> 00:36:47,518
The Cardinals?
929
00:36:48,060 --> 00:36:49,812
Afraid not.Anybody else?
930
00:36:49,812 --> 00:36:51,188
‐(bell dings)
‐Dodgers!
931
00:36:51,188 --> 00:36:52,356
Emcee: That's whatwe're talkin' about.
932
00:36:52,356 --> 00:36:53,858
Damn it, Harry!
933
00:36:53,858 --> 00:36:55,317
I thought your little
mouth‐breathing friend
934
00:36:55,317 --> 00:36:56,318
had sports covered.
935
00:36:56,318 --> 00:36:57,820
That kinda was
a hard one, Paul.
936
00:37:01,365 --> 00:37:03,534
Which was the first countryto use paper money?
937
00:37:03,534 --> 00:37:04,785
‐(bell dings)
‐China.
938
00:37:04,785 --> 00:37:06,287
‐Jupiter.
‐Water music.
939
00:37:06,287 --> 00:37:07,872
‐(bell dings)
‐Hakuna matata!
940
00:37:07,872 --> 00:37:09,540
‐(bell dings)
‐Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn!
941
00:37:09,540 --> 00:37:11,667
‐(bell dings)
‐Jehovah's Witness.
942
00:37:12,126 --> 00:37:14,086
Ooh, sorry, team three.
943
00:37:14,086 --> 00:37:16,672
That is wrong,and that means you are out.
944
00:37:16,672 --> 00:37:17,965
Okay, folks, so that means
945
00:37:17,965 --> 00:37:20,009
we're downto our last two teams.
946
00:37:20,009 --> 00:37:22,052
And because we've goneway over time,
947
00:37:22,052 --> 00:37:24,054
we're gonna sudden deaththis mother!
948
00:37:24,054 --> 00:37:26,265
One question for the win.
949
00:37:26,265 --> 00:37:27,516
And the category is...
950
00:37:28,225 --> 00:37:30,060
Art History.
951
00:37:30,519 --> 00:37:33,439
Okay. This artist'sscandalous painting
952
00:37:33,439 --> 00:37:35,816
of a womannearly derailed his career
953
00:37:35,816 --> 00:37:39,195
when it was exhibitedin Paris in 1884.
954
00:37:41,655 --> 00:37:43,199
‐(bell dings)
‐Toulouse Lautrec!
955
00:37:43,199 --> 00:37:44,909
Emcee: Good guess!Afraid not!
956
00:37:44,909 --> 00:37:47,661
Team Five, you have 30 secondsto give me the right answer
957
00:37:47,661 --> 00:37:49,246
for the win,or we go again.
958
00:37:49,246 --> 00:37:50,623
It's Matisse. It's Matisse.
959
00:37:50,623 --> 00:37:52,708
Mmm, no, it's not.
960
00:37:52,708 --> 00:37:53,667
It's Sargent.
961
00:37:54,376 --> 00:37:55,544
This is my business.
962
00:37:56,003 --> 00:37:57,213
It's Matisse.
963
00:37:57,213 --> 00:37:58,547
It's a painting
he did of his wife.
964
00:37:58,547 --> 00:38:00,883
I'm telling you,
it's John Singer Sargent.
965
00:38:01,217 --> 00:38:02,885
‐Madame X.
‐Emcee: Twenty seconds.
966
00:38:02,885 --> 00:38:04,428
How the hell
do you know that?
967
00:38:04,428 --> 00:38:07,056
He also did a bunch
of drawings of naked dudes.
968
00:38:07,515 --> 00:38:09,308
I stole a book about him
from the library
969
00:38:09,308 --> 00:38:10,726
so I could
whack off to it.
970
00:38:10,726 --> 00:38:12,728
And sometimes
after I was finished,
971
00:38:12,728 --> 00:38:14,814
I would, you know,
read it.
972
00:38:15,815 --> 00:38:18,275
Okay, I say we go
with Uncle Paul.
973
00:38:18,275 --> 00:38:20,820
‐Paul: Yeah.
‐Uh, no way. Harry's right.
974
00:38:20,820 --> 00:38:21,821
He whacks off a lot.
975
00:38:21,821 --> 00:38:22,780
‐Emcee: Ten seconds.
‐Zach: I vote Harry.
976
00:38:23,989 --> 00:38:25,491
Okay, um, Sam,
977
00:38:25,491 --> 00:38:26,659
you get
the deciding vote.
978
00:38:26,659 --> 00:38:27,993
Wh... uh!
979
00:38:28,494 --> 00:38:30,371
Sam, are you serious
right now?
980
00:38:30,830 --> 00:38:33,165
You really think that
this pair of shoulders
981
00:38:33,165 --> 00:38:34,750
knows more
about art history
982
00:38:34,750 --> 00:38:35,709
than I do!
983
00:38:38,671 --> 00:38:39,713
Come on.
984
00:38:43,300 --> 00:38:45,010
Harry! I say
we go with Harry!
985
00:38:45,010 --> 00:38:46,679
John Singer Sargent!
986
00:38:47,263 --> 00:38:48,514
That is correct.
987
00:38:48,514 --> 00:38:50,266
‐(all cheering)
‐Emcee: Congratulations.
988
00:38:50,266 --> 00:38:51,600
Team Five's the winner.
989
00:38:53,060 --> 00:38:54,144
Ah! I...
990
00:38:55,479 --> 00:38:56,730
Congrats, everyone.
991
00:38:56,730 --> 00:38:57,898
Sam, let's go.
992
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,112
Actually, I think
I'm gonna stay.
993
00:39:03,112 --> 00:39:03,988
You know what?
994
00:39:04,446 --> 00:39:05,781
You are a child!
995
00:39:05,781 --> 00:39:06,907
Goodbye.
996
00:39:11,161 --> 00:39:12,538
My mother
never liked him, anyway.
997
00:39:14,331 --> 00:39:15,165
Ohh!
998
00:39:23,465 --> 00:39:24,925
Harry:
"You are a child!"
999
00:39:24,925 --> 00:39:27,303
‐Sam: He's not British.
‐Harry: Are you sure?
1000
00:39:27,303 --> 00:39:29,013
What's it say
on his passport?
1001
00:39:29,013 --> 00:39:30,097
Pretentious?
1002
00:39:30,097 --> 00:39:31,307
Is that
a nationality?
1003
00:39:33,434 --> 00:39:35,019
I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to...
1004
00:39:35,519 --> 00:39:36,937
‐I know you liked him.
‐No,
1005
00:39:36,937 --> 00:39:38,314
not really, I just...
1006
00:39:38,689 --> 00:39:41,567
You know, you get
what you settle for.
1007
00:39:41,567 --> 00:39:43,110
You know
what I mean?
1008
00:39:44,153 --> 00:39:46,572
Plus his apartment
was sick!
1009
00:39:46,572 --> 00:39:47,698
‐Harry: Was it?
‐Sam: Yeah.
1010
00:39:47,698 --> 00:39:49,408
Anyway, you guys
get a table,
1011
00:39:49,408 --> 00:39:50,993
‐I'm gonna say hi to Stasia.
‐I know. Great.
1012
00:39:52,369 --> 00:39:55,080
Well, well, well,
look who the hell it is.
1013
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:56,332
Both: Mwah!
1014
00:39:56,332 --> 00:39:57,833
This is a surprise.
1015
00:39:57,833 --> 00:40:00,419
You haven't been here once
since you started dating Paul.
1016
00:40:00,419 --> 00:40:01,378
Yeah.
1017
00:40:01,378 --> 00:40:02,546
Well, except that
one time,
1018
00:40:02,546 --> 00:40:04,965
he had an allergic reaction
to the soap in the bathroom
1019
00:40:04,965 --> 00:40:06,133
and you had to leave.
1020
00:40:06,634 --> 00:40:07,718
Yeah.
1021
00:40:07,718 --> 00:40:09,386
Where is
His Royal Highness?
1022
00:40:10,220 --> 00:40:11,388
I think...
1023
00:40:12,139 --> 00:40:13,223
that we broke up.
1024
00:40:14,016 --> 00:40:14,850
For real?
1025
00:40:16,185 --> 00:40:17,227
For real.
1026
00:40:17,686 --> 00:40:19,521
Oh, thank God!
1027
00:40:19,521 --> 00:40:20,648
Ohh!
1028
00:40:20,648 --> 00:40:23,067
I am sorry, Samwich,
I hated him.
1029
00:40:23,067 --> 00:40:25,319
‐I know!
‐He was literally the worst.
1030
00:40:25,319 --> 00:40:27,404
Well, he was great
in bed.
1031
00:40:27,863 --> 00:40:28,739
He was?
1032
00:40:29,990 --> 00:40:30,824
No.
1033
00:40:33,202 --> 00:40:34,244
Hi, Nick!
1034
00:40:34,954 --> 00:40:38,040
Oh my God.
He's here all the time.
1035
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:39,333
That's so sweet.
1036
00:40:39,333 --> 00:40:41,210
It's not sweet.
It's stalkery.
1037
00:40:41,210 --> 00:40:43,879
It's not stalkery
when you're dating.
1038
00:40:43,879 --> 00:40:45,464
We are not dating. We're...
1039
00:40:46,382 --> 00:40:47,508
hanging out.
1040
00:40:47,508 --> 00:40:48,717
Well, you've been
hanging out
1041
00:40:48,717 --> 00:40:49,760
for six months.
1042
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:50,886
You're ridiculous.
1043
00:40:53,013 --> 00:40:54,348
Oh my God,
Harry's here.
1044
00:40:54,348 --> 00:40:55,557
What is going on?
1045
00:40:55,557 --> 00:40:57,518
We ran into
each other tonight.
1046
00:40:57,518 --> 00:40:59,645
It's a long story.
The main thing is
1047
00:40:59,645 --> 00:41:01,689
that I realized
my mistake all along
1048
00:41:01,689 --> 00:41:03,941
was thinking that we could
ever be more than friends.
1049
00:41:03,941 --> 00:41:06,318
As long as we keep it
1050
00:41:06,318 --> 00:41:08,028
in the friend zone,
we're good.
1051
00:41:08,988 --> 00:41:10,114
He's fun...
1052
00:41:10,739 --> 00:41:13,283
and funny, and he's
actually pretty smart,
1053
00:41:13,283 --> 00:41:15,077
which for some reason,
I never knew, but...
1054
00:41:15,786 --> 00:41:18,622
he's definitely
not boyfriend material.
1055
00:41:18,998 --> 00:41:20,416
I need someone grown up.
1056
00:41:20,416 --> 00:41:22,376
You know what I mean?
And that's not Harry.
1057
00:41:23,877 --> 00:41:25,796
Okay, got it.
Harry it ain't.
1058
00:41:26,463 --> 00:41:27,798
Harry it ain't.
1059
00:41:28,465 --> 00:41:30,634
Now can you do your job
like a good little bar wench
1060
00:41:30,634 --> 00:41:31,885
and fetch me
four beers.
1061
00:41:33,721 --> 00:41:35,264
You're so into him.
1062
00:41:35,639 --> 00:41:36,932
I am not.
1063
00:41:36,932 --> 00:41:38,183
Bro, what are you
talking about?
1064
00:41:38,183 --> 00:41:39,643
Dude, you're staring
at him.
1065
00:41:39,643 --> 00:41:42,187
No, I was staring
in his direction
1066
00:41:42,187 --> 00:41:45,107
because I haven't seen
Stasia in a while,
1067
00:41:45,107 --> 00:41:46,358
and I wanted
to wave hello.
1068
00:41:46,859 --> 00:41:49,403
Which is something
a Neanderthal like yourself
1069
00:41:49,403 --> 00:41:51,155
would never knew is that
1070
00:41:51,155 --> 00:41:52,531
that is the
courteous thing to do.
1071
00:41:52,531 --> 00:41:55,117
Yeah, well, you've,
you've always been
very courteous.
1072
00:41:55,409 --> 00:41:56,660
I am.
1073
00:41:56,660 --> 00:41:59,246
Dude, you literally farted
at the dinner table last night.
1074
00:42:00,330 --> 00:42:02,332
That was
a medical condition.
1075
00:42:02,332 --> 00:42:04,460
Yeah.
You're full of shit.
1076
00:42:04,460 --> 00:42:06,920
Just like you are now, dude.
I know you.
1077
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,714
Zach, shut your gob
before I tell April
1078
00:42:08,714 --> 00:42:10,340
what I saw on your computer
this morning.
1079
00:42:10,340 --> 00:42:11,508
What?
1080
00:42:11,508 --> 00:42:12,968
Okay, we're just friends, man.
1081
00:42:13,302 --> 00:42:15,387
Like, let it go.
For real.
1082
00:42:15,721 --> 00:42:16,722
For real for real?
1083
00:42:17,097 --> 00:42:18,057
For real.
1084
00:42:18,057 --> 00:42:19,933
First round's
on Stasia!
1085
00:42:20,893 --> 00:42:22,144
To celebrate
my breakup.
1086
00:42:23,937 --> 00:42:24,855
Stasia.
1087
00:42:25,147 --> 00:42:26,356
‐Thank you.
‐Mwah!
1088
00:42:27,066 --> 00:42:29,026
‐See? Courteous.
‐April: Yeah.
1089
00:42:29,610 --> 00:42:31,111
‐To Sam's breakup.
‐April: Hmm.
1090
00:42:31,361 --> 00:42:32,863
All: To Sam's breakup.
1091
00:42:32,863 --> 00:42:34,364
♪ If we never met ♪
1092
00:42:35,449 --> 00:42:38,619
♪ I'd be drunk, waking upin someone else's bed ♪
1093
00:42:39,828 --> 00:42:41,330
♪ I'd be lostin a crowded room... ♪
1094
00:42:41,330 --> 00:42:45,417
(indistinct conversation)
1095
00:42:45,417 --> 00:42:47,169
(all laughing)
1096
00:42:48,545 --> 00:42:49,880
Aww!
1097
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,048
Thanks, Harry.
1098
00:42:51,715 --> 00:42:53,675
♪ What if I neverstarted singing? ♪
1099
00:42:54,093 --> 00:42:55,803
♪ What if you never ♪
1100
00:42:56,261 --> 00:42:57,971
♪ Told your familyyou were leaving? ♪
1101
00:42:58,472 --> 00:43:00,224
♪ When you felt the pressure ♪
1102
00:43:00,682 --> 00:43:02,601
♪ There's a milliondifferent reasons... ♪
1103
00:43:02,601 --> 00:43:04,603
Okay, one of the daughters
1104
00:43:04,603 --> 00:43:06,980
of... of the Kardashians.
1105
00:43:07,606 --> 00:43:09,024
But they don't have
the same last name!
1106
00:43:09,024 --> 00:43:10,943
(all shouting)
1107
00:43:10,943 --> 00:43:13,362
There's a Kardashian daughter
1108
00:43:13,362 --> 00:43:17,658
with a different...
(indistinct)
1109
00:43:20,369 --> 00:43:23,622
♪ And baby,when I close my eyes ♪
1110
00:43:23,622 --> 00:43:24,498
♪ I'm thinkin' about ♪
1111
00:43:24,998 --> 00:43:26,125
♪ If we never met... ♪
1112
00:43:26,125 --> 00:43:28,210
...best beans
in the world.
1113
00:43:28,210 --> 00:43:31,338
♪ I'd be drunk, waking upin someone else's bed ♪
1114
00:43:32,381 --> 00:43:35,425
♪ I'd be lost in a crowded roomof fake friends ♪
1115
00:43:35,425 --> 00:43:38,053
♪ I wouldn't even knowwhat love is... ♪
1116
00:43:38,053 --> 00:43:40,389
(clattering)
1117
00:43:40,389 --> 00:43:42,391
Harry, stop it.
1118
00:43:42,391 --> 00:43:43,976
All right,
enough pouting, let's go.
1119
00:43:44,768 --> 00:43:46,103
All right, dude,
are you serious?
1120
00:43:46,103 --> 00:43:47,187
Okay, no, leave it.
1121
00:43:47,187 --> 00:43:48,313
Leave it as a tip.
Come on.
1122
00:43:48,313 --> 00:43:49,314
‐Just drop it. Yep.
‐(coins clinking)
1123
00:43:49,314 --> 00:43:50,566
‐Thank you.
‐Harry: Let's go.
1124
00:43:50,983 --> 00:43:53,527
So that's why
the fat lady sings.
1125
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:57,531
‐I don't get it.
‐It's because she's...
1126
00:43:57,990 --> 00:43:59,783
Because she's happy
about all the sex.
1127
00:44:02,411 --> 00:44:05,038
‐That's good!
‐Okay. Yeah, yeah, got it.
1128
00:44:07,416 --> 00:44:08,876
‐Oh wait, hold on.
‐Oh.
1129
00:44:08,876 --> 00:44:10,127
‐Eyelash.
‐Oh.
1130
00:44:12,838 --> 00:44:13,881
Make a wish.
1131
00:44:14,673 --> 00:44:15,674
Um...
1132
00:44:17,593 --> 00:44:19,511
♪ If we never met... ♪
1133
00:44:21,638 --> 00:44:22,598
I gotta pee.
1134
00:44:24,975 --> 00:44:27,352
♪ I'd be lost in a crowded roomof fake friends... ♪
1135
00:44:27,352 --> 00:44:31,440
(indistinct conversations)
1136
00:44:34,735 --> 00:44:37,404
Hey, thanks for helping out
at Pride today.
1137
00:44:37,404 --> 00:44:38,488
You were great.
1138
00:44:38,488 --> 00:44:40,073
We got a lot
of voters signed up.
1139
00:44:40,073 --> 00:44:42,159
Oh yeah, you can't say no
to Sam, right?
1140
00:44:42,159 --> 00:44:43,202
(inaudible dialogue)
1141
00:44:43,202 --> 00:44:44,286
Man: Speaking of Sam,
1142
00:44:44,286 --> 00:44:45,621
are you guys
like a thing?
1143
00:44:45,996 --> 00:44:47,497
Like, a, a couple?
1144
00:44:47,956 --> 00:44:49,416
‐Me and Sam?
‐Yeah.
1145
00:44:49,416 --> 00:44:53,045
Uh... no, no,
we're just friends, but‐‐
1146
00:44:53,045 --> 00:44:55,589
Okay, cool, would you happen
to know if he's seeing anybody?
1147
00:44:58,300 --> 00:45:01,094
Uh, if Sam
is seeing anyone?
1148
00:45:04,431 --> 00:45:07,100
Uh, no. He's, he's not.
1149
00:45:07,100 --> 00:45:08,560
You know, I just wanted
to make sure
1150
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:09,603
before I ask him out.
1151
00:45:10,395 --> 00:45:12,522
Yeah, uh, I mean,
you should definitely do that.
1152
00:45:13,357 --> 00:45:15,651
But you should know
that he's...
1153
00:45:16,944 --> 00:45:18,153
he's pretty much straight.
1154
00:45:18,153 --> 00:45:19,238
Here we go!
1155
00:45:20,614 --> 00:45:22,199
(club music playing)
1156
00:45:23,951 --> 00:45:25,244
He's s‐straight?
1157
00:45:25,827 --> 00:45:26,787
Really?
1158
00:45:28,205 --> 00:45:29,957
Wow, did not see
that coming.
1159
00:45:30,457 --> 00:45:33,043
♪ Everybody needs somebody ♪
1160
00:45:34,378 --> 00:45:37,047
♪ We can't make it
on our own ♪
1161
00:45:38,173 --> 00:45:40,676
♪ Turnin' up late
at the party ♪
1162
00:45:40,926 --> 00:45:43,262
♪ Ain't goin' home ♪
1163
00:45:44,638 --> 00:45:46,723
♪ Let me take you there ♪
1164
00:45:52,229 --> 00:45:53,647
♪ Let me take you there ♪
1165
00:45:56,483 --> 00:45:58,652
Hey, Sam, let's go have
another drink, all right.
1166
00:45:58,652 --> 00:45:59,987
I don't think I can.
1167
00:45:59,987 --> 00:46:02,155
I am o‐blitch‐erated.
1168
00:46:02,155 --> 00:46:03,573
We're gonna get
another drink, all right.
1169
00:46:03,573 --> 00:46:05,367
Get it, bitches! Whoo!
1170
00:46:06,118 --> 00:46:08,912
♪ Oh, come on,
stay the night, yeah ♪
1171
00:46:08,912 --> 00:46:10,080
♪ Stay the night, yeah ♪
1172
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:12,958
Hey, two, two tequila shots
and a couple beers.
1173
00:46:12,958 --> 00:46:14,710
Shots? Harry, no!
1174
00:46:18,338 --> 00:46:19,381
Bottoms up.
1175
00:46:19,381 --> 00:46:21,341
Tops, too!
Don't be bottomist.
1176
00:46:21,341 --> 00:46:22,467
(crowd cheering)
1177
00:46:22,467 --> 00:46:25,887
Drag Queen:
Happy Pride, Chicago!
1178
00:46:26,847 --> 00:46:28,849
How is everybodyfeeling tonight?
1179
00:46:28,849 --> 00:46:30,559
(cheering)
1180
00:46:30,559 --> 00:46:32,644
Drag Queen:
Can you feel the love?
1181
00:46:32,894 --> 00:46:35,314
'Cause that's what it'sall about, right? Love.
1182
00:46:35,314 --> 00:46:37,816
Everybody wants it.Everybody needs it.
1183
00:46:37,816 --> 00:46:40,277
So why aren't wegiving it away?
1184
00:46:40,277 --> 00:46:41,653
‐Whoo!
‐(crowd cheering)
1185
00:46:41,653 --> 00:46:42,612
Drag Queen:
What are you waiting for?
1186
00:46:42,612 --> 00:46:44,323
Find you some love tonight.
1187
00:46:44,906 --> 00:46:46,491
Or at least get yousome ass.
1188
00:46:46,491 --> 00:46:48,535
(club music resumes)
1189
00:46:53,498 --> 00:46:54,458
What?
1190
00:46:57,252 --> 00:46:59,421
S‐so did you mean
that thing you said?
1191
00:46:59,796 --> 00:47:02,966
About how when guys
become friends,
1192
00:47:02,966 --> 00:47:04,593
they can never be
anything more than that?
1193
00:47:05,344 --> 00:47:07,596
One billion percent.
1194
00:47:07,596 --> 00:47:09,723
You either end up
having bad sex
1195
00:47:09,723 --> 00:47:11,975
or ruining
the friendship, or both.
1196
00:47:11,975 --> 00:47:13,477
And there's
no exceptions?
1197
00:47:13,477 --> 00:47:15,312
Like, ever?
1198
00:47:16,271 --> 00:47:18,231
None. Zero.
1199
00:47:19,483 --> 00:47:20,776
No even for...
1200
00:47:22,319 --> 00:47:23,487
you and me?
1201
00:47:25,489 --> 00:47:27,199
Not even you and me.
1202
00:47:29,117 --> 00:47:32,079
Like I'm going to date the guy
who bails on relationship
1203
00:47:32,079 --> 00:47:34,664
faster than my parents' dog
eats cat poop.
1204
00:47:37,834 --> 00:47:40,587
Oh my God,
I love this song!
1205
00:47:40,879 --> 00:47:43,882
‐Whoo!
‐(cheering)
1206
00:47:44,591 --> 00:47:46,676
♪ I want you ♪
1207
00:47:48,428 --> 00:47:50,097
♪ Baby, be mine ♪
1208
00:47:50,097 --> 00:47:51,390
♪ Won't you be mine? ♪
1209
00:47:51,932 --> 00:47:53,058
♪ Won't you be mine? ♪
1210
00:47:53,058 --> 00:47:54,559
♪ Wanna make you mine, boy ♪
1211
00:47:56,853 --> 00:47:58,939
♪ Tell me nowwhat can I do... ♪
1212
00:47:59,481 --> 00:48:00,774
I'm gonna go find
my friends!
1213
00:48:01,316 --> 00:48:02,442
Happy Pride!
1214
00:48:04,152 --> 00:48:07,697
♪ What can I do?What can I do? ♪
1215
00:48:08,031 --> 00:48:11,827
♪ What can I doto make you my lover? ♪
1216
00:48:11,827 --> 00:48:14,496
♪ What can I do?What can I do? ♪
1217
00:48:20,919 --> 00:48:23,046
Damn, Stasia ,
1218
00:48:23,046 --> 00:48:25,006
leave it to you to find
the only straight guy ...
1219
00:48:44,401 --> 00:48:47,195
♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss,kiss, kiss, kiss, ♪
1220
00:48:47,195 --> 00:48:48,113
♪ Kiss my lips ♪
1221
00:48:52,868 --> 00:48:55,120
(doorbell rings)
1222
00:48:56,913 --> 00:48:58,832
(footsteps thumping)
1223
00:48:58,832 --> 00:49:01,585
Casey:
Um, when did you become
the world's laziest roommate?
1224
00:49:02,711 --> 00:49:03,879
Don't worry. I'll get it.
1225
00:49:04,296 --> 00:49:05,839
Oh. Harry's here.
1226
00:49:06,673 --> 00:49:07,549
(door opens)
1227
00:49:07,549 --> 00:49:09,593
‐Hi, Harry.
‐Harry: Hey.
1228
00:49:09,593 --> 00:49:10,886
‐Casey: How're you doing?
‐Harry: What's up?
1229
00:49:12,095 --> 00:49:13,221
(door closes)
1230
00:49:15,307 --> 00:49:16,308
Hey, Samwich!
1231
00:49:23,899 --> 00:49:24,774
What?
1232
00:49:25,692 --> 00:49:28,028
You never call me that.
That's Stasia's name for me.
1233
00:49:29,488 --> 00:49:30,739
‐Oh, is it?
‐Hmm.
1234
00:49:31,865 --> 00:49:33,533
Heh. I guess it is.
1235
00:49:36,328 --> 00:49:37,329
Those donuts?
1236
00:49:44,669 --> 00:49:48,048
(video game sounds)
1237
00:49:54,304 --> 00:49:55,514
Is Harry here?
1238
00:49:56,973 --> 00:49:58,892
I thought he was
up there. With you.
1239
00:50:02,187 --> 00:50:03,188
Huh.
1240
00:50:04,648 --> 00:50:05,607
Whatcha playin'?
1241
00:50:06,149 --> 00:50:07,025
Zach: Crackdown 3.
1242
00:50:07,025 --> 00:50:08,318
Oh, I love
that game!
1243
00:50:10,153 --> 00:50:11,196
Let's get it, girl!
1244
00:50:16,451 --> 00:50:17,327
Harry: So listen,
1245
00:50:17,327 --> 00:50:19,162
can I tell you
something ?
1246
00:50:19,663 --> 00:50:20,747
Oh yeah?
What's that?
1247
00:50:21,373 --> 00:50:22,666
It's, it's nothing bad.
1248
00:50:22,666 --> 00:50:24,501
Oh, I didn't think
it was...
1249
00:50:25,794 --> 00:50:28,296
Good. I just,
whenever anyone says,
1250
00:50:28,296 --> 00:50:30,715
"We need to talk,"
it's usually
something bad, so...
1251
00:50:30,715 --> 00:50:32,342
Oh, well, you didn't.
1252
00:50:32,342 --> 00:50:33,343
What?
1253
00:50:33,343 --> 00:50:34,928
You didn't say,
"We need to talk."
1254
00:50:34,928 --> 00:50:36,388
You said, "I have
to tell you something."
1255
00:50:38,265 --> 00:50:39,724
Oh, I, I...
(chuckles)
1256
00:50:40,475 --> 00:50:41,726
‐Yes, I did.
‐(chuckles)
1257
00:50:45,272 --> 00:50:46,398
So?
1258
00:50:48,692 --> 00:50:51,903
So, uh,
Stasia and I...
1259
00:50:52,654 --> 00:50:54,864
kinda made out
last night.
1260
00:50:54,864 --> 00:50:56,157
Oh wow!
1261
00:50:56,157 --> 00:50:57,409
That's... Ooh.
1262
00:50:57,409 --> 00:51:00,078
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
At, uh, Pride.
1263
00:51:00,078 --> 00:51:01,663
‐Hmm.
‐I hope that's okay.
1264
00:51:01,663 --> 00:51:03,164
Yeah, why wouldn't it be?
1265
00:51:04,165 --> 00:51:05,125
Right.
1266
00:51:05,709 --> 00:51:07,669
I mean, I,
I told Stasia that,
1267
00:51:07,669 --> 00:51:09,879
but she kinda got
in my head a little bit.
1268
00:51:09,879 --> 00:51:12,591
So I, uh, snuck out as soon
as I woke up this morning.
1269
00:51:15,385 --> 00:51:16,803
You snuck out
of where?
1270
00:51:19,306 --> 00:51:20,682
My bedroom?
1271
00:51:22,809 --> 00:51:23,810
Zach: So...
1272
00:51:24,394 --> 00:51:26,396
you and Harry have
a good time last night?
1273
00:51:27,522 --> 00:51:29,316
As a matter of fact,
we did. Why?
1274
00:51:29,774 --> 00:51:30,942
No reason.
1275
00:51:30,942 --> 00:51:33,862
Just, uh... I'm glad
it was a fun time
1276
00:51:33,862 --> 00:51:36,156
if you're both gonna ruin
your relationships with Sam.
1277
00:51:37,490 --> 00:51:39,659
We didn't.
Sam's not gonna care.
1278
00:51:40,327 --> 00:51:41,620
I mean, Sam's not
into Harry that way.
1279
00:51:41,620 --> 00:51:44,456
He said so.
Like... multiple times.
1280
00:51:44,831 --> 00:51:45,915
Okay.
1281
00:51:47,125 --> 00:51:48,168
What?
1282
00:51:49,336 --> 00:51:50,879
You think
he's gonna be weird?
1283
00:51:54,007 --> 00:51:56,635
Stasia... spent the night?
1284
00:51:57,135 --> 00:51:58,386
Uh... yeah.
1285
00:51:58,386 --> 00:51:59,721
‐And you guys...
‐Uh‐huh.
1286
00:52:01,806 --> 00:52:02,766
Cool.
1287
00:52:05,352 --> 00:52:08,605
What, you couldn't find any
other randos to hook up with?
1288
00:52:08,605 --> 00:52:09,981
So you had to start poaching
from the home team?
1289
00:52:09,981 --> 00:52:11,316
Wha... hey,
no, no, no. I...
1290
00:52:11,316 --> 00:52:14,819
It wasn't like
another one‐night stand
or anything like that.
1291
00:52:14,819 --> 00:52:16,821
No, we didn't just smash
and dash, you know.
1292
00:52:16,821 --> 00:52:19,282
We didn't just
sleep together, Zach. Okay.
1293
00:52:19,991 --> 00:52:21,785
We actually like
each other, all right.
1294
00:52:21,785 --> 00:52:23,870
That's... great!
1295
00:52:23,870 --> 00:52:25,914
Yeah, she's really funny
1296
00:52:25,914 --> 00:52:27,457
an‐an‐and fun.
1297
00:52:27,457 --> 00:52:29,042
He's actually
really smart.
1298
00:52:29,668 --> 00:52:31,670
‐Really smart?
‐You know, and he's not
all clingy‐‐
1299
00:52:31,670 --> 00:52:33,672
An‐and she's so,
you know...
1300
00:52:34,214 --> 00:52:35,382
her own person.
1301
00:52:36,007 --> 00:52:37,008
Like you.
1302
00:52:38,426 --> 00:52:40,178
I woke up this morning,
and he wasn't even there.
1303
00:52:40,178 --> 00:52:41,388
And you liked that?
1304
00:52:43,139 --> 00:52:45,517
‐Maybe you two are perfect
for each other.
‐Right?
1305
00:52:46,559 --> 00:52:48,144
I mean, how crazy
would it be.
1306
00:52:48,144 --> 00:52:50,647
If your two best friends
1307
00:52:50,647 --> 00:52:52,774
became, like, a couple.
1308
00:52:55,276 --> 00:52:56,528
A couple.
1309
00:52:56,528 --> 00:52:57,987
That would be crazy.
1310
00:53:01,324 --> 00:53:04,619
Well, I, I should probably
get back to Stasia.
1311
00:53:04,619 --> 00:53:05,912
She's gonna wonder
where I am.
1312
00:53:07,205 --> 00:53:08,707
Maybe I should take those.
1313
00:53:08,707 --> 00:53:11,251
I could tell her
I went to get donuts.
1314
00:53:14,212 --> 00:53:15,130
Yeah.
1315
00:53:15,422 --> 00:53:16,339
Yeah.
1316
00:53:23,054 --> 00:53:24,013
I love you, man.
1317
00:53:25,348 --> 00:53:26,266
I love you too.
1318
00:53:37,736 --> 00:53:38,737
(door opens)
1319
00:53:39,863 --> 00:53:40,947
(door closes)
1320
00:53:46,286 --> 00:53:47,370
Who wants mimosas?
1321
00:53:47,370 --> 00:53:48,413
All: Me!
1322
00:53:51,458 --> 00:53:52,917
I heard you got
a new job?
1323
00:53:52,917 --> 00:53:55,044
Yes! Finally!
No more bartending!
1324
00:54:00,300 --> 00:54:01,509
So what is it?
1325
00:54:02,260 --> 00:54:05,555
Oh, uh, I'm working
for Windy City Beat,
1326
00:54:05,555 --> 00:54:07,265
doing all their, like,
alt events and stuff.
1327
00:54:07,682 --> 00:54:08,892
Oh great.
1328
00:54:08,892 --> 00:54:10,351
Yeah, they wanted someone
to curate a bunch
1329
00:54:10,351 --> 00:54:12,562
of cool, non‐touristy stuff
every week, so...
1330
00:54:13,396 --> 00:54:14,731
Sam:
Sounds perfect for you.
1331
00:54:14,731 --> 00:54:15,857
It is!
1332
00:54:17,484 --> 00:54:19,360
And what about you? You still
working down at the Pier?
1333
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,821
Uh, no.
God, no, um...
1334
00:54:22,405 --> 00:54:25,825
Actually, Stasia got me a job
bar‐backing at G and O.
1335
00:54:27,827 --> 00:54:29,412
Wow, nice.
1336
00:54:30,538 --> 00:54:32,665
Yeah, but then
she up and left me, so...
1337
00:54:32,665 --> 00:54:33,833
I up and left him.
1338
00:54:35,043 --> 00:54:36,419
Aw, so sad.
1339
00:54:36,419 --> 00:54:38,713
Uh, waitress!
Uh, we're gonna need
a lot more alcohol,
1340
00:54:38,713 --> 00:54:40,340
like, right now.
1341
00:54:40,799 --> 00:54:42,467
‐Thanks.
‐Oh my God, Zach.
1342
00:54:42,467 --> 00:54:43,885
‐Ha ha ha!
‐So stupid.
1343
00:54:56,064 --> 00:54:58,233
And I knew
he was lying.
1344
00:54:58,858 --> 00:55:02,403
Who would have
improv rehearsal
after midnight?
1345
00:55:03,404 --> 00:55:06,157
A lying liar,
that's who.
1346
00:55:06,699 --> 00:55:08,993
But Malcolm,
he would never admit
1347
00:55:08,993 --> 00:55:10,495
that anything
was going on.
1348
00:55:10,787 --> 00:55:11,871
No, no, no.
1349
00:55:11,871 --> 00:55:13,331
Not me, he said.
1350
00:55:13,331 --> 00:55:16,876
I would never sleep
with Doug or Eddie.
1351
00:55:16,876 --> 00:55:17,877
Stasia: Sam.
1352
00:55:18,503 --> 00:55:20,046
Why are you talking
about this?
1353
00:55:20,046 --> 00:55:21,548
This happened
a long time ago.
1354
00:55:23,216 --> 00:55:24,509
And then...
1355
00:55:25,051 --> 00:55:27,178
I came home early
one day
1356
00:55:27,178 --> 00:55:28,471
and I caught him
1357
00:55:29,013 --> 00:55:31,224
in the shower
with Doug.
1358
00:55:31,224 --> 00:55:32,600
And Eddie.
1359
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:34,060
There he was.
1360
00:55:34,352 --> 00:55:35,562
Malcolm in the Middle.
1361
00:55:37,146 --> 00:55:38,314
You know what I mean?
1362
00:55:40,525 --> 00:55:41,568
But it's okay.
1363
00:55:42,235 --> 00:55:44,487
Just... you gotta move on.
1364
00:55:45,655 --> 00:55:46,656
Like Harry.
1365
00:55:47,490 --> 00:55:49,534
Harry moves on
all the time.
1366
00:55:49,867 --> 00:55:50,994
That's what he does.
1367
00:55:52,328 --> 00:55:53,580
Whenever things get...
1368
00:55:55,415 --> 00:55:57,166
hairy.
(laughs)
1369
00:55:57,166 --> 00:55:58,376
Get it?
1370
00:55:59,043 --> 00:56:01,379
As soon as things
get hard,
1371
00:56:01,379 --> 00:56:02,714
Harry just
1372
00:56:02,714 --> 00:56:04,173
cuts and runs,
you know.
1373
00:56:04,173 --> 00:56:06,884
That's just
the thing about Harry.
1374
00:56:07,927 --> 00:56:09,262
Cut and run.
1375
00:56:09,262 --> 00:56:10,430
Just for fun.
1376
00:56:10,430 --> 00:56:12,140
‐Harry's my name.
‐Stasia: Sam.
1377
00:56:12,140 --> 00:56:13,391
That's my game.
1378
00:56:13,391 --> 00:56:14,392
Sam.
1379
00:56:15,059 --> 00:56:16,477
(whispering):
But when he does that,
1380
00:56:17,395 --> 00:56:18,396
I'll be here.
1381
00:56:18,980 --> 00:56:19,897
For you.
1382
00:56:20,523 --> 00:56:21,649
Stasia.
1383
00:56:22,817 --> 00:56:24,319
Anastasia.
1384
00:56:25,778 --> 00:56:27,697
Anaphylaxis.
1385
00:56:29,324 --> 00:56:31,159
See, now that's
a good drag name,
1386
00:56:31,159 --> 00:56:32,327
Ana Phylaxis.
1387
00:56:32,952 --> 00:56:34,746
One bite
and she'll kill you.
1388
00:56:37,332 --> 00:56:40,877
Oh see. Look,
she's in anaphylaxis shock!
1389
00:56:44,172 --> 00:56:45,465
You're an asshole.
1390
00:56:46,883 --> 00:56:48,051
Oh!
1391
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:50,928
Thanks, man.
1392
00:57:31,969 --> 00:57:34,430
Am I to surmise from the fact
that you're sitting here
in the dark
1393
00:57:34,430 --> 00:57:36,766
that brunch did not go quite
as you might have liked.
1394
00:57:37,350 --> 00:57:39,936
There have been funerals
for children
1395
00:57:39,936 --> 00:57:41,729
‐that aren't as awful
as that brunch was.
‐Casey: Oh!
1396
00:57:41,729 --> 00:57:44,315
Oh my God,
I'm sorry.
1397
00:57:45,066 --> 00:57:46,984
Well, at least you did it.
1398
00:57:48,319 --> 00:57:49,570
Good for you.
1399
00:57:49,987 --> 00:57:51,114
Good for me.
1400
00:57:54,367 --> 00:57:56,244
Hey, have you
heard of, um,
1401
00:57:56,244 --> 00:57:58,663
of that new
gay dating app?
1402
00:57:59,122 --> 00:58:01,124
Buff or Gruff or...
1403
00:58:02,291 --> 00:58:03,251
No.
1404
00:58:03,710 --> 00:58:05,002
Why, are you
leaving Eddie?
1405
00:58:05,628 --> 00:58:06,879
Looking to spice
things up?
1406
00:58:06,879 --> 00:58:08,923
(chuckles)
No, dumbass. For you.
1407
00:58:09,257 --> 00:58:11,342
I'm not signing up
for some‐‐
1408
00:58:11,342 --> 00:58:13,219
Look, it doesn't have
to be that,
1409
00:58:13,219 --> 00:58:16,055
but I did not
March on Washington
1410
00:58:16,055 --> 00:58:18,725
and Act‐up and Fight AIDS
for all of those years
1411
00:58:18,725 --> 00:58:21,102
so that you
could waste your life,
1412
00:58:21,102 --> 00:58:23,438
locked in that
malodorous bedroom,
1413
00:58:23,438 --> 00:58:25,982
furiously masturbating
to what can only be described
1414
00:58:25,982 --> 00:58:28,776
as moderately shameful
amateur pornography.
1415
00:58:29,235 --> 00:58:30,987
And listen,
if you want some privacy,
1416
00:58:30,987 --> 00:58:32,488
you need to invest
in headphones.
1417
00:58:33,322 --> 00:58:35,575
But I'm worried
about your health.
1418
00:58:35,908 --> 00:58:38,161
I mean, my God,
your poor bologna pony
1419
00:58:38,161 --> 00:58:39,287
must need a break.
1420
00:58:39,287 --> 00:58:40,246
Is it, is it bruised?
1421
00:58:40,246 --> 00:58:42,039
‐Or chafed?
‐Okay.
1422
00:58:42,039 --> 00:58:43,458
Does it need
arnica ointment‐‐
1423
00:58:43,458 --> 00:58:47,545
Okay, I will do...
something.
1424
00:58:47,545 --> 00:58:49,547
Just please stop talking
about my penis.
1425
00:58:49,547 --> 00:58:50,798
(chuckling)
Fine.
1426
00:58:54,218 --> 00:58:55,887
You deserve someone
to love, you know.
1427
00:58:58,556 --> 00:58:59,766
And someone
to love you.
1428
00:59:01,642 --> 00:59:03,394
And seriously,
if you need arnica,
1429
00:59:03,394 --> 00:59:04,729
I have some
right upstairs.
1430
00:59:04,729 --> 00:59:05,897
Go!
1431
00:59:06,647 --> 00:59:07,607
All right.
1432
00:59:09,150 --> 00:59:10,193
But do the dating app.
1433
00:59:10,651 --> 00:59:11,652
One date.
1434
00:59:12,153 --> 00:59:13,571
Or else I'm raising
your rent.
1435
00:59:22,497 --> 00:59:23,956
Sam:
Let's meet at Em's.
1436
00:59:24,332 --> 00:59:26,250
I'll be in the fourth boothfrom the door,
1437
00:59:26,250 --> 00:59:27,794
wearing a green polo.
1438
00:59:27,794 --> 00:59:28,920
A blue polo.
1439
00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:30,171
A lime polo.
1440
00:59:30,171 --> 00:59:31,506
A burnt orange polo.
1441
00:59:32,215 --> 00:59:34,759
We can check each other outand have a drink.
1442
00:59:34,759 --> 00:59:36,886
And if we both agreethat the first drinkgoes well, well,
1443
00:59:37,386 --> 00:59:38,638
we can take it from there.
1444
00:59:38,638 --> 00:59:39,555
Hey.
1445
00:59:41,349 --> 00:59:42,558
Oh!
1446
00:59:43,851 --> 00:59:45,812
Sorry, I, uh,
I think I'm having
1447
00:59:45,812 --> 00:59:46,938
an allergic reaction
1448
00:59:46,938 --> 00:59:49,190
to... something.
1449
00:59:50,358 --> 00:59:53,194
Listen, may be better
we just call it a night.
1450
00:59:58,074 --> 01:00:00,076
So, now I'm on my third race
for alderman.
1451
01:00:00,076 --> 01:00:02,370
I mostly do
volunteer coordination,
1452
01:00:02,370 --> 01:00:03,788
get out the vote,
stuff like that.
1453
01:00:03,788 --> 01:00:05,039
I work
in politics too!
1454
01:00:05,498 --> 01:00:07,583
‐No way.
‐Well, I used to.
1455
01:00:07,583 --> 01:00:09,919
Now I just help run
the Obamas' local foundation.
1456
01:00:11,963 --> 01:00:13,297
You wanna get
outta here?
1457
01:00:15,132 --> 01:00:18,386
(both moaning)
1458
01:00:18,386 --> 01:00:20,680
♪ I've been thinking'bout you ♪
1459
01:00:22,890 --> 01:00:25,935
♪ Wondering who's stuckin your head at night... ♪
1460
01:00:26,727 --> 01:00:27,895
Man:
And I'm a Cubs guy.
1461
01:00:27,895 --> 01:00:29,480
I mean, you gotta pull
for the underdogs, right?
1462
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:31,023
That's what I always say.
1463
01:00:33,401 --> 01:00:34,485
Uh, ow.
1464
01:00:34,485 --> 01:00:35,987
Sorry, you, uh...
1465
01:00:35,987 --> 01:00:37,238
you had something
in your hair.
1466
01:00:37,655 --> 01:00:39,657
‐Oh, thanks.
‐You were saying.
1467
01:00:39,657 --> 01:00:40,700
Oh yeah.
1468
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:42,535
I like you.
1469
01:00:42,535 --> 01:00:43,661
A lot.
1470
01:00:43,661 --> 01:00:45,162
I don't like
to take things too fast
1471
01:00:45,162 --> 01:00:47,832
‐before we talk
about monogamy.
‐Yeah, no worries.
1472
01:00:47,832 --> 01:00:49,750
‐It's just really not my thing.
‐Once we get serious,
I'm super faithful.
1473
01:00:52,587 --> 01:00:53,588
Oh!
1474
01:00:54,839 --> 01:00:57,341
♪ Early in the morning ♪
1475
01:00:58,801 --> 01:01:01,053
♪ Think about youall day... ♪
1476
01:01:03,973 --> 01:01:04,932
Nice to meet you.
1477
01:01:04,932 --> 01:01:06,475
It's nice
to meet you too.
1478
01:01:07,268 --> 01:01:09,562
I've been on a few
messy ones of these,
1479
01:01:09,562 --> 01:01:12,148
so it's nice to meet
someone cool.
1480
01:01:12,857 --> 01:01:14,859
You are really handsome.
1481
01:01:16,110 --> 01:01:17,320
Wow, thanks.
1482
01:01:18,321 --> 01:01:19,238
Back at ya.
1483
01:01:20,281 --> 01:01:22,241
I'm sorry. I don't think
I ever got your name?
1484
01:01:22,825 --> 01:01:23,868
I'm Sam.
1485
01:01:24,327 --> 01:01:25,202
How about you?
1486
01:01:25,661 --> 01:01:26,495
I'm Harry.
1487
01:01:27,038 --> 01:01:28,122
I gotta go.
1488
01:01:31,500 --> 01:01:32,460
(sighs)
1489
01:01:35,338 --> 01:01:36,213
(beeps)
1490
01:01:45,723 --> 01:01:46,641
You're home?
1491
01:01:47,016 --> 01:01:47,975
How was it?
1492
01:01:49,143 --> 01:01:51,062
‐Not for me.
‐Why not?
1493
01:01:51,896 --> 01:01:52,897
Just wasn't.
1494
01:01:54,482 --> 01:01:57,151
You keep finding problems
with everyone.
1495
01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:59,153
They can't all be
the wrong guy.
1496
01:01:59,779 --> 01:02:01,489
What was he?
Stinky? Wiggy?
1497
01:02:01,906 --> 01:02:03,115
Non‐monogamy‐y?
1498
01:02:03,115 --> 01:02:04,116
No.
1499
01:02:05,785 --> 01:02:06,702
Harry.
1500
01:02:07,203 --> 01:02:09,121
Like, super hairy?
1501
01:02:09,121 --> 01:02:10,623
‐Uhh...
‐Like, fuzzy all over?
1502
01:02:10,998 --> 01:02:12,625
You know, I used to date
this total sasquatch.
1503
01:02:12,625 --> 01:02:15,044
Loved it.
Never needed a blanket.
1504
01:02:15,044 --> 01:02:17,296
No. He was great.
1505
01:02:17,713 --> 01:02:20,383
Smart, funny, handsome.
1506
01:02:20,883 --> 01:02:22,635
Moderately hirsute.
1507
01:02:22,635 --> 01:02:23,886
So?
1508
01:02:24,804 --> 01:02:27,056
His name was Harry.
1509
01:02:27,431 --> 01:02:28,391
Oh.
1510
01:02:29,225 --> 01:02:30,601
He wasn't your Harry, huh?
1511
01:02:32,895 --> 01:02:33,980
Oh baby.
1512
01:02:37,274 --> 01:02:38,484
(sniffles)
1513
01:02:49,161 --> 01:02:50,663
Sam:
Obviously, it's January.
1514
01:02:50,663 --> 01:02:52,415
It's too cold
for canvassing.
1515
01:02:52,415 --> 01:02:53,874
But we've got
training events
1516
01:02:53,874 --> 01:02:55,376
every weekend
from now until March,
1517
01:02:55,376 --> 01:02:57,378
when we should be able
to start hitting the streets.
1518
01:02:57,378 --> 01:02:59,171
So, uh,
we're in a good place.
1519
01:02:59,171 --> 01:03:00,673
Uh, I'll get you
the final volunteer numbers.
1520
01:03:00,673 --> 01:03:01,716
Thanks, guys.
1521
01:03:10,224 --> 01:03:11,267
Hi.
1522
01:03:12,685 --> 01:03:15,396
(people chattering)
1523
01:03:19,442 --> 01:03:20,776
So I'm getting married.
1524
01:03:22,862 --> 01:03:23,946
You...
1525
01:03:24,822 --> 01:03:25,740
You're, uh...
1526
01:03:26,657 --> 01:03:28,951
Oh my God!
Congratulations!
1527
01:03:32,371 --> 01:03:33,456
Stasia: Look...
1528
01:03:34,165 --> 01:03:36,917
I know we haven't been
exactly close the last year.
1529
01:03:38,502 --> 01:03:40,212
God, what's it been,
like a year and a half?
1530
01:03:40,212 --> 01:03:41,213
Well, yeah.
1531
01:03:41,213 --> 01:03:43,049
You know what?
It doesn't matter. Anyway, um...
1532
01:03:44,467 --> 01:03:45,676
the thing is...
1533
01:03:46,177 --> 01:03:48,012
I don't really like
a lot of people...
1534
01:03:49,221 --> 01:03:50,514
except you...
1535
01:03:51,766 --> 01:03:53,392
well, and my fiancé,
I guess.
1536
01:03:53,392 --> 01:03:54,852
(chuckles)
1537
01:03:54,852 --> 01:03:55,853
And, um...
1538
01:03:56,687 --> 01:03:58,606
I just can't imagine
getting married
1539
01:03:58,606 --> 01:03:59,690
without you there.
1540
01:04:00,816 --> 01:04:03,778
I mean, you've been
my best friend since
the first day of college,
1541
01:04:03,778 --> 01:04:04,945
and I just...
1542
01:04:06,989 --> 01:04:09,158
Is there any chance
you'd be my Man of Honor?
1543
01:04:11,535 --> 01:04:12,661
"Man of Honor"?
1544
01:04:14,330 --> 01:04:15,331
Uh...
1545
01:04:16,290 --> 01:04:17,625
Is that even a thing?
1546
01:04:18,834 --> 01:04:20,419
It is if I say it is.
1547
01:04:24,632 --> 01:04:25,883
Is Harry cool with it?
1548
01:04:27,218 --> 01:04:28,511
I mean...
1549
01:04:28,511 --> 01:04:30,554
I assume so, but...
1550
01:04:30,554 --> 01:04:32,264
Well, don't you think
you should ask him?
1551
01:04:34,100 --> 01:04:36,143
Why would...
why would I do that?
1552
01:04:37,269 --> 01:04:38,479
Because he's the groom?
1553
01:04:40,397 --> 01:04:42,024
Oh no.
1554
01:04:42,483 --> 01:04:43,901
No, no, no, I'm not...
1555
01:04:43,901 --> 01:04:45,820
No, I'm not...
I'm not marrying Harry.
1556
01:04:45,820 --> 01:04:46,779
I'm marrying Zach.
1557
01:04:48,697 --> 01:04:50,032
You... you're...
1558
01:04:51,033 --> 01:04:52,118
Zach?
1559
01:04:52,618 --> 01:04:53,994
Stasia:
You didn't know?
1560
01:04:54,578 --> 01:04:56,664
No! No! No!
1561
01:04:56,664 --> 01:04:58,707
(stammering)
I mean, I stopped
following you guys
1562
01:04:58,707 --> 01:05:00,167
on social media,
and then I...
1563
01:05:01,001 --> 01:05:03,129
I kinda wondered why
you never got back to me
1564
01:05:03,129 --> 01:05:05,256
when I texted you
after Harry and me broke up.
1565
01:05:05,256 --> 01:05:07,466
You didn't say that
it was about that.
1566
01:05:07,466 --> 01:05:09,885
And then, and then,
you know, I was a little...
1567
01:05:10,678 --> 01:05:13,889
embarrassed about the way
that I acted at brunch, but‐‐
1568
01:05:13,889 --> 01:05:15,808
Oh my God, I'm sorry.
1569
01:05:15,808 --> 01:05:17,351
And when I didn't hear
from you.
1570
01:05:17,351 --> 01:05:18,978
I, I figured you didn't
wanna hear from me,
1571
01:05:18,978 --> 01:05:20,062
‐so...
‐I‐‐
1572
01:05:20,062 --> 01:05:22,064
Oh my God!
I am sorry too.
1573
01:05:22,481 --> 01:05:24,233
But then this happened,
1574
01:05:24,233 --> 01:05:26,652
and I figured
somebody had to make
the first move. So...
1575
01:05:30,322 --> 01:05:33,075
The only reason Harry and I
lasted as long as we did
1576
01:05:33,075 --> 01:05:34,743
is because
we both felt so...
1577
01:05:35,452 --> 01:05:38,164
shitty about what
we did to you
1578
01:05:38,164 --> 01:05:39,331
that we kind of...
1579
01:05:40,833 --> 01:05:42,710
had to make it work,
you know.
1580
01:05:43,836 --> 01:05:45,713
Well, that and we did really
want to prove you wrong
1581
01:05:45,713 --> 01:05:48,174
after all that nasty stuff
you said at brunch, but
1582
01:05:49,592 --> 01:05:51,051
mostly, we felt like...
1583
01:05:52,136 --> 01:05:54,763
if we ruined our friendships
with you...
1584
01:05:55,764 --> 01:05:57,057
it had to be love.
1585
01:05:58,100 --> 01:06:00,436
Only... it wasn't.
1586
01:06:03,856 --> 01:06:05,858
And I finally realized
1587
01:06:05,858 --> 01:06:08,652
that every time I was going
over to their apartment,
1588
01:06:08,652 --> 01:06:11,363
the person I was hoping
would open the door was...
1589
01:06:13,824 --> 01:06:14,909
Zach.
1590
01:06:15,492 --> 01:06:18,370
And I tried to fight it.
I mean, I really did.
1591
01:06:18,370 --> 01:06:20,664
Zach is so straight
and average.
1592
01:06:20,664 --> 01:06:22,499
You know how
I feel about that.
1593
01:06:26,212 --> 01:06:27,379
I don't know.
1594
01:06:28,214 --> 01:06:29,215
I just...
1595
01:06:31,217 --> 01:06:33,219
I just love him so much.
1596
01:06:33,844 --> 01:06:38,098
And the gravitational
pull of that is
1597
01:06:38,098 --> 01:06:40,684
so much greater
than any ideas
1598
01:06:40,684 --> 01:06:42,895
I had about myself
or my life.
1599
01:06:45,064 --> 01:06:46,273
So...
1600
01:06:48,525 --> 01:06:49,568
what do you think?
1601
01:06:54,490 --> 01:06:55,741
Will Harry be there?
1602
01:06:56,367 --> 01:06:58,619
Oh no. No, he's, like,
really mad at us.
1603
01:07:00,829 --> 01:07:02,122
Yes.
1604
01:07:02,122 --> 01:07:03,666
Yeah, I would be honored.
1605
01:07:03,999 --> 01:07:04,959
‐When is it?
‐Oh!
1606
01:07:07,211 --> 01:07:08,837
Valentine's Day.
1607
01:07:08,837 --> 01:07:10,923
‐Ugh. Isn't that gross?
‐Oh ho ho!
1608
01:07:10,923 --> 01:07:13,634
But Zach's parents got married
on Valentine's Day,
1609
01:07:13,634 --> 01:07:15,052
and it was important
to him, so...
1610
01:07:15,928 --> 01:07:17,012
But don't worry, okay.
1611
01:07:17,012 --> 01:07:18,555
We're not doing
a rehearsal dinner
1612
01:07:18,555 --> 01:07:19,890
or bachelorette party
1613
01:07:19,890 --> 01:07:21,267
or shower
or anything like that.
1614
01:07:21,267 --> 01:07:23,269
‐(elevator bell dings)
‐Just a simple party
1615
01:07:23,269 --> 01:07:24,603
that night.
1616
01:07:40,452 --> 01:07:41,537
Wow!
1617
01:07:41,537 --> 01:07:42,997
‐(Stasia giggles)
‐You look amazing.
1618
01:07:42,997 --> 01:07:44,331
You like?
1619
01:07:44,331 --> 01:07:46,792
A twist on the traditional.
Like me!
1620
01:07:46,792 --> 01:07:48,294
‐(laughs)
‐I love it.
1621
01:07:51,714 --> 01:07:53,590
I'm so happy
you're here.
1622
01:08:04,268 --> 01:08:05,519
You said
he wasn't coming.
1623
01:08:07,021 --> 01:08:08,022
I lied.
1624
01:08:21,994 --> 01:08:23,996
(people chattering)
1625
01:08:30,044 --> 01:08:31,712
Sorry to ambush you.
1626
01:08:31,712 --> 01:08:33,172
I, uh...
1627
01:08:33,172 --> 01:08:34,798
asked Stasia
to embellish a little
1628
01:08:34,798 --> 01:08:36,884
'cause I didn't think
you'd come
1629
01:08:36,884 --> 01:08:38,385
if you knew
I was gonna be here.
1630
01:08:40,220 --> 01:08:41,388
It's good to see you.
1631
01:08:42,848 --> 01:08:43,682
I've missed you.
1632
01:08:46,602 --> 01:08:48,979
Can you believe that
Stasia is getting married
1633
01:08:48,979 --> 01:08:50,397
on Valentine's Day?
1634
01:08:51,857 --> 01:08:53,734
She likes to think
that she's so edgy,
1635
01:08:53,734 --> 01:08:55,027
but let's face it,
1636
01:08:55,569 --> 01:08:56,737
she basic.
1637
01:08:56,737 --> 01:08:57,654
Yeah.
1638
01:08:59,782 --> 01:09:00,949
It's, um...
1639
01:09:02,034 --> 01:09:03,827
big of you to be here,
1640
01:09:04,244 --> 01:09:05,412
after everything
that happened.
1641
01:09:06,872 --> 01:09:08,540
Uh, not really.
1642
01:09:09,500 --> 01:09:12,211
I mean, I was never
in love with Stasia.
1643
01:09:13,253 --> 01:09:15,381
I love her. I just...
1644
01:09:16,423 --> 01:09:18,384
Mostly I'm just glad
she's happy.
1645
01:09:20,886 --> 01:09:22,304
So how come
you never called me
1646
01:09:23,138 --> 01:09:24,556
if you missed me
so much?
1647
01:09:24,932 --> 01:09:27,726
I mean, it's not like
I blocked your number
or anything.
1648
01:09:28,685 --> 01:09:30,396
I guess I figured
you wouldn't wanna
talk to me.
1649
01:09:31,021 --> 01:09:33,816
Or that I didn't deserve
to see you again.
1650
01:09:35,401 --> 01:09:37,027
I mean, you made it
pretty clear
1651
01:09:37,027 --> 01:09:38,278
how badly I hurt you.
1652
01:09:42,324 --> 01:09:45,285
Well, uh, I should
probably get a drink.
1653
01:09:46,870 --> 01:09:48,205
It's good to see you.
1654
01:09:51,625 --> 01:09:53,919
The only reason
anything happened with Stasia
1655
01:09:53,919 --> 01:09:55,045
was 'cause...
1656
01:09:56,422 --> 01:09:57,715
'cause I was trying
to get over you.
1657
01:10:00,968 --> 01:10:02,428
Why would you need
to do that?
1658
01:10:06,390 --> 01:10:09,184
Ever since, uh,
that trip home...
1659
01:10:10,519 --> 01:10:12,980
ever since
we became friends...
1660
01:10:15,357 --> 01:10:17,234
I guess I kinda wanted
something more.
1661
01:10:19,278 --> 01:10:20,696
And then at Pride...
1662
01:10:21,488 --> 01:10:22,489
remember that?
1663
01:10:24,742 --> 01:10:27,119
I was just trying
to work up the nerve
to tell you
1664
01:10:27,119 --> 01:10:28,912
that I was in love
with you,
1665
01:10:29,288 --> 01:10:32,916
but you made it
really, really clear
1666
01:10:32,916 --> 01:10:34,501
that nothing was
ever gonna happen.
1667
01:10:34,501 --> 01:10:36,086
Because you
never said anything!
1668
01:10:36,086 --> 01:10:37,337
I know.
1669
01:10:37,838 --> 01:10:39,256
And then I ruined
everything.
1670
01:10:42,509 --> 01:10:43,927
The worst part is that
1671
01:10:44,762 --> 01:10:47,014
you were my favorite person
in the world...
1672
01:10:48,724 --> 01:10:51,143
and in one night,
I lost you twice.
1673
01:10:51,727 --> 01:10:52,728
I, um...
1674
01:10:54,730 --> 01:10:55,856
I, um...
1675
01:10:56,690 --> 01:10:57,608
was?
1676
01:10:58,275 --> 01:10:59,401
Past tense?
1677
01:11:00,486 --> 01:11:02,696
You said that I was
your favorite person.
1678
01:11:05,157 --> 01:11:06,533
No, stupid.
1679
01:11:07,701 --> 01:11:08,827
You are.
1680
01:11:09,703 --> 01:11:10,871
Always will be.
1681
01:11:12,331 --> 01:11:15,042
You are the smartest,
funniest,
1682
01:11:15,834 --> 01:11:18,253
strangest person
I have ever met,
1683
01:11:18,921 --> 01:11:20,506
and I love everything
about you.
1684
01:11:21,924 --> 01:11:24,259
I love that you need
to control everything...
1685
01:11:25,427 --> 01:11:29,223
and that you don't trust
a cashier to give you
the right change.
1686
01:11:29,223 --> 01:11:30,349
Well...
1687
01:11:30,349 --> 01:11:33,101
I love that you
never forget anything
1688
01:11:34,228 --> 01:11:36,647
and that you need to explain
half of your jokes to me.
1689
01:11:37,940 --> 01:11:40,359
And I even love
how crazy I make you,
1690
01:11:41,026 --> 01:11:43,153
'cause I know that means
I matter to you.
1691
01:11:44,071 --> 01:11:45,197
And...
1692
01:11:46,949 --> 01:11:49,993
mattering to you is
kinda all I ever wanted.
1693
01:11:54,540 --> 01:11:57,376
♪ If the world was ending ♪
1694
01:11:58,210 --> 01:11:59,837
♪ You'd come over right ♪
1695
01:11:59,837 --> 01:12:01,505
♪ You'd come overyou'd come over ♪
1696
01:12:01,505 --> 01:12:02,881
♪ You'd come over right ♪
1697
01:12:07,219 --> 01:12:10,389
♪ If the world was endingyou'd come over right ♪
1698
01:12:11,223 --> 01:12:12,558
Zach:
Anastasia Hooper,
1699
01:12:13,517 --> 01:12:14,852
you're the most beautiful...
1700
01:12:15,894 --> 01:12:16,895
authentic...
1701
01:12:17,563 --> 01:12:19,064
thrilling woman
I've ever met,
1702
01:12:20,232 --> 01:12:21,525
and I can't believe
I get to spend
1703
01:12:21,525 --> 01:12:22,693
the rest of my life
with you.
1704
01:12:24,194 --> 01:12:25,279
You surprise me.
1705
01:12:26,029 --> 01:12:27,155
You challenge me...
1706
01:12:27,698 --> 01:12:28,699
a lot.
1707
01:12:29,741 --> 01:12:31,827
You make me want to be
a better version of myself.
1708
01:12:32,619 --> 01:12:34,621
I can only hope to do half
as much for you.
1709
01:12:36,582 --> 01:12:38,417
I feel like the luckiest person
in the world right now,
1710
01:12:38,417 --> 01:12:40,043
and I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life
1711
01:12:40,043 --> 01:12:41,545
making sure you feel
that way too.
1712
01:12:49,469 --> 01:12:52,472
♪ Never was an early riser ♪
1713
01:12:52,890 --> 01:12:56,059
♪ Used to bean up all‐nighter ♪
1714
01:12:56,518 --> 01:12:59,146
♪ Never sawthe mornin' light ♪
1715
01:12:59,146 --> 01:13:02,357
♪ Quite like I do now ♪
1716
01:13:03,108 --> 01:13:06,320
♪ Never said no to a party ♪
1717
01:13:06,695 --> 01:13:09,364
♪ Never started savin' money ♪
1718
01:13:10,282 --> 01:13:13,160
♪ But everythingis different ♪
1719
01:13:13,160 --> 01:13:16,330
♪ Since you've been around ♪
1720
01:13:16,705 --> 01:13:19,791
♪ It's the wayyou're smilin' at me ♪
1721
01:13:20,417 --> 01:13:23,587
♪ It's in the wayyou hold my hand ♪
1722
01:13:23,587 --> 01:13:26,757
♪ It's the wayI've watched you change me ♪
1723
01:13:27,215 --> 01:13:30,385
♪ From a boy into a man ♪
1724
01:13:30,385 --> 01:13:33,639
♪ It's a million thingsabout you ♪
1725
01:13:33,639 --> 01:13:37,059
♪ And I don't knowwhat it is ♪
1726
01:13:37,059 --> 01:13:41,480
♪ But I have never knowna love like this... ♪
1727
01:13:41,480 --> 01:13:42,981
Can I take you
home now?
1728
01:13:44,900 --> 01:13:45,901
Yes.
1729
01:13:47,736 --> 01:13:50,656
♪ Never usedto get excited ♪
1730
01:13:51,823 --> 01:13:53,659
♪ To sit here in the silence ♪
1731
01:13:54,952 --> 01:13:57,704
♪ Holdin' on to somethin' ♪
1732
01:13:57,704 --> 01:14:00,582
♪ The way I'm holdin' you ♪
1733
01:14:01,458 --> 01:14:05,170
♪ Didn't used to knowhow fast time ♪
1734
01:14:05,170 --> 01:14:08,382
♪ Walks and runsand flies by ♪
1735
01:14:08,382 --> 01:14:11,718
♪ I never thoughtI'd feel so deeply ♪
1736
01:14:11,718 --> 01:14:14,304
♪ But damn, I do ♪
1737
01:14:15,013 --> 01:14:18,058
♪ It's the wayyou're smilin' at me ♪
1738
01:14:18,767 --> 01:14:21,728
♪ It's in the wayyou hold my hand ♪
1739
01:14:21,728 --> 01:14:25,023
♪ It's the wayI've watched you change me ♪
1740
01:14:25,357 --> 01:14:28,026
♪ From a boy into a man ♪
1741
01:14:28,652 --> 01:14:31,571
♪ It's a million thingsabout you ♪
1742
01:14:31,822 --> 01:14:34,950
♪ And I don't knowwhat it is ♪
1743
01:14:34,950 --> 01:14:40,497
♪ But I have never knowna love like this ♪
1744
01:14:42,666 --> 01:14:47,337
♪ I have never knowna love like this ♪
1745
01:15:17,034 --> 01:15:20,454
I guess Suck‐up Sammy wasn't
such a bad nickname after all.
1746
01:15:21,246 --> 01:15:22,497
Stop!
1747
01:15:30,297 --> 01:15:31,715
Don't do that.
Don't...
1748
01:15:32,549 --> 01:15:34,092
look at me like that.
1749
01:15:34,092 --> 01:15:35,844
Don't make me right.
1750
01:15:36,720 --> 01:15:37,637
Right?
1751
01:15:38,680 --> 01:15:39,973
About what?
1752
01:15:40,891 --> 01:15:42,392
About this! About...
1753
01:15:44,019 --> 01:15:46,104
how we shouldn't
have done this.
1754
01:15:46,104 --> 01:15:47,022
Hey, no, no.
1755
01:15:48,023 --> 01:15:49,691
Last night was perfect.
1756
01:15:50,358 --> 01:15:52,861
It was everything that
I thought it would be
1757
01:15:52,861 --> 01:15:54,362
and, like...
1758
01:15:54,362 --> 01:15:55,864
a thousand times better.
1759
01:15:58,492 --> 01:16:00,619
Then why do you have
that look on your face?
1760
01:16:04,164 --> 01:16:05,582
I finally got a job.
1761
01:16:06,833 --> 01:16:09,836
Like... a real job.
1762
01:16:10,712 --> 01:16:11,880
Awesome, but?
1763
01:16:13,590 --> 01:16:14,549
But...
1764
01:16:16,301 --> 01:16:19,054
it's in LA,
and I leave next week.
1765
01:16:23,183 --> 01:16:24,309
Are you kidding?
1766
01:16:24,309 --> 01:16:25,602
It's one of the biggest
1767
01:16:25,602 --> 01:16:27,270
sports marketing companies
in the world.
1768
01:16:27,270 --> 01:16:30,357
‐How could I say no?
‐This is so like you, Harry.
1769
01:16:31,566 --> 01:16:33,527
Even getting your dream job
sounds like
1770
01:16:33,527 --> 01:16:35,237
something just happened
to you.
1771
01:16:38,657 --> 01:16:40,659
I can't believe it.
I can't believe it. I, I...
1772
01:16:41,493 --> 01:16:42,619
How could you...
1773
01:16:43,995 --> 01:16:45,163
How could you...
1774
01:16:46,289 --> 01:16:49,084
let us... do that...
1775
01:16:50,043 --> 01:16:52,879
knowing you were just
gonna leave?
1776
01:16:52,879 --> 01:16:54,840
‐Why didn't you tell me?
‐I needed to know.
1777
01:16:55,132 --> 01:16:57,092
And, and I am telling you.
1778
01:16:57,092 --> 01:16:58,218
I‐I'm telling you now!
1779
01:16:59,052 --> 01:17:00,929
This doesn't mean
we can't be together.
1780
01:17:00,929 --> 01:17:02,097
You know what? I, uh...
1781
01:17:03,098 --> 01:17:04,558
(exhales sharply)
1782
01:17:04,558 --> 01:17:06,184
I got‐gotta go.
1783
01:17:06,184 --> 01:17:07,102
Come on, Sam.
1784
01:17:07,102 --> 01:17:08,979
We got the whole weekend,
1785
01:17:08,979 --> 01:17:10,480
an‐and LA's not that far.
1786
01:17:10,480 --> 01:17:13,275
I mean, there's these
new‐fangled things
called airplanes.
1787
01:17:13,650 --> 01:17:14,651
(laughs)
1788
01:17:15,110 --> 01:17:17,487
Wha‐wha‐what?
You don't trust me
to do long‐distance?
1789
01:17:18,113 --> 01:17:19,990
How can I trust you
to do long‐distance
1790
01:17:19,990 --> 01:17:22,325
when I can't even trust you
to tell me the whole truth.
1791
01:17:23,618 --> 01:17:26,079
Before we slept together!
1792
01:17:26,079 --> 01:17:27,330
Before I...
1793
01:17:28,373 --> 01:17:30,000
I, I let you in.
1794
01:17:30,333 --> 01:17:34,212
You had... so many chances
to say something.
1795
01:17:34,212 --> 01:17:37,048
Do you seriously not get
what a betrayal that is?
1796
01:17:38,133 --> 01:17:39,467
No, of course
you don't.
1797
01:17:39,467 --> 01:17:41,928
You know, you say
that you love
1798
01:17:41,928 --> 01:17:43,847
all those things about me,
1799
01:17:44,723 --> 01:17:47,726
but if you don't understand
that trust is the only thing
1800
01:17:47,726 --> 01:17:49,060
that matters
to me, well...
1801
01:17:50,812 --> 01:17:52,689
then I, I guess you
don't know me at all.
1802
01:17:54,316 --> 01:17:56,109
Or maybe you do
and that's why you did it.
1803
01:17:56,109 --> 01:17:58,361
Because you say
you want love,
1804
01:17:58,361 --> 01:17:59,738
blah blah, but...
1805
01:18:00,906 --> 01:18:02,240
you know,
at the end of the day,
1806
01:18:02,240 --> 01:18:03,867
you're just as afraid
of it as I am.
1807
01:18:07,579 --> 01:18:08,997
At least I know now
1808
01:18:09,497 --> 01:18:11,041
for sure I was right.
1809
01:18:12,918 --> 01:18:14,878
We never should have tried
to be anything more
than friends.
1810
01:18:14,878 --> 01:18:16,546
It always screws
everything up.
1811
01:18:18,173 --> 01:18:19,216
(door opens)
1812
01:18:20,675 --> 01:18:21,635
(door closes)
1813
01:18:26,264 --> 01:18:27,766
Bridget Jones: (on screen)
I have two choices.
1814
01:18:28,558 --> 01:18:32,479
To give up and acceptpermanent state of spinsterhood
1815
01:18:32,479 --> 01:18:34,481
and eventual eating by dogs.
1816
01:18:35,273 --> 01:18:36,358
Or not.
1817
01:18:37,400 --> 01:18:39,194
‐And this time I choose not.
‐(cell phone buzzing)
1818
01:18:39,861 --> 01:18:41,363
‐I will not be defeated...
‐Oh!
1819
01:18:41,363 --> 01:18:44,074
...by a bad manand an American stick insect.
1820
01:18:44,532 --> 01:18:45,492
(beeps)
1821
01:18:48,995 --> 01:18:50,497
You ruined...
1822
01:18:50,914 --> 01:18:52,374
everything.
1823
01:18:56,378 --> 01:18:58,505
A sandwich for Samwich.
1824
01:19:01,883 --> 01:19:03,009
So that's it, huh?
1825
01:19:03,426 --> 01:19:05,387
You're just never
gonna talk to him again?
1826
01:19:06,721 --> 01:19:07,931
Just gonna spend
the rest of your life
1827
01:19:07,931 --> 01:19:09,683
burrowed under this duvet,
1828
01:19:09,683 --> 01:19:11,559
sweating into my vintage
velvet couch
1829
01:19:11,559 --> 01:19:13,061
like some sort
of tragic dust mite?
1830
01:19:13,812 --> 01:19:15,981
‐(groans)
‐Don't you have
to work or something?
1831
01:19:17,190 --> 01:19:18,692
‐What day is it?
‐Friday.
1832
01:19:19,401 --> 01:19:21,194
Oh my God,
the rally!
1833
01:19:23,071 --> 01:19:25,115
You should probably shower.
You smell really bad.
1834
01:19:25,115 --> 01:19:26,241
All right!
1835
01:19:26,700 --> 01:19:28,618
Reporter: (on TV)
And now to Katie Leonardon the scene
1836
01:19:28,618 --> 01:19:30,328
in downtown Chicago. Katie.
1837
01:19:30,328 --> 01:19:31,705
Katie: (on TV)
We are coming to you live
1838
01:19:31,705 --> 01:19:33,290
from one of the firstbig rallies
1839
01:19:33,290 --> 01:19:35,750
in what is sure to bea contentious governor's race.
1840
01:19:35,750 --> 01:19:37,544
Mitchell's team has told usthat they plan
1841
01:19:37,544 --> 01:19:38,878
on doingwhatever it takes
1842
01:19:38,878 --> 01:19:40,380
to take herto the next level.
1843
01:19:40,380 --> 01:19:43,091
After a difficult primary run,a lot of people were‐‐
1844
01:19:43,091 --> 01:19:45,135
♪ I can't write one song ♪
1845
01:19:45,135 --> 01:19:46,970
♪ That's not about you ♪
1846
01:19:46,970 --> 01:19:50,932
♪ Can't drink withoutthinkin' about you ♪
1847
01:19:50,932 --> 01:19:54,269
♪ Is it too lateto tell you that ♪
1848
01:19:54,269 --> 01:19:57,731
♪ Everything means nothingif I can't have you? ♪
1849
01:19:58,231 --> 01:20:02,485
♪ I can't write one songthat's not about you ♪
1850
01:20:02,485 --> 01:20:06,489
♪ Can't drink withoutthinkin' about you ♪
1851
01:20:06,489 --> 01:20:07,824
♪ Is it too late... ♪
1852
01:20:08,408 --> 01:20:10,160
Oh whoa!
Got a wristband?
1853
01:20:10,160 --> 01:20:13,413
‐Uh, I‐‐
‐No wristband, no entry.
1854
01:20:13,872 --> 01:20:17,083
♪ I'm so sorrythat my timing's off ♪
1855
01:20:17,083 --> 01:20:21,129
♪ But I can't move onif we're still gonna talk... ♪
1856
01:20:21,129 --> 01:20:23,673
Oh, good you're here.
Okay, right through this door.
Come on, come on.
1857
01:20:24,549 --> 01:20:26,718
Stand there by the door.
Ladies. Ladies.
1858
01:20:26,718 --> 01:20:28,178
It's time. Right now.
1859
01:20:28,178 --> 01:20:29,429
(indistinct)
Let's go!
1860
01:20:29,429 --> 01:20:30,555
Let's go! Let's go!
1861
01:20:31,556 --> 01:20:32,682
All right, now remember...
1862
01:20:32,682 --> 01:20:36,061
(woman continues talking,
indistinct)
1863
01:20:36,061 --> 01:20:37,354
Woman: Energy!
Energy! Energy!
1864
01:20:37,354 --> 01:20:39,022
I want you to set up over there.
Come on, let's go.
1865
01:20:39,022 --> 01:20:40,899
Big smiles. Big smiles.
There you go.
1866
01:20:40,899 --> 01:20:44,569
(crowd cheering)
1867
01:20:44,569 --> 01:20:46,279
Announcer: (over mic)
Ladies and gentlemen,
1868
01:20:46,279 --> 01:20:47,906
put your hands together
1869
01:20:47,906 --> 01:20:50,367
for the Illinois Maplesdance team.
1870
01:20:51,534 --> 01:20:54,079
(dance music playing)
1871
01:20:57,582 --> 01:20:58,416
Oh!
1872
01:20:58,875 --> 01:21:00,752
(inaudible dialogue)
1873
01:21:02,087 --> 01:21:03,046
Cheerleader: Watch out!
1874
01:21:29,948 --> 01:21:31,116
‐Cheerleader: Look out!
‐Whoa!
1875
01:21:31,950 --> 01:21:33,076
(cheerleader grunts)
1876
01:21:40,125 --> 01:21:41,376
Hey, come here!
1877
01:21:41,376 --> 01:21:42,627
Get off the stage!
1878
01:21:43,378 --> 01:21:44,379
Ow!
1879
01:21:45,505 --> 01:21:46,714
Yeah! You!
1880
01:21:48,425 --> 01:21:49,676
(both grunting)
1881
01:21:52,178 --> 01:21:54,764
(scattered applause)
1882
01:21:54,764 --> 01:21:56,057
Man: Whoo!
1883
01:22:01,855 --> 01:22:04,190
Um... uh, I...
1884
01:22:04,732 --> 01:22:06,276
Sorry. I,I didn't mean to...
1885
01:22:06,943 --> 01:22:08,027
mess things up.
1886
01:22:08,528 --> 01:22:11,364
Someone in this very crowdonce told me that
1887
01:22:11,865 --> 01:22:14,742
wh‐when you make a messof things, you gotta fix 'em.
1888
01:22:15,785 --> 01:22:18,329
You got to take responsibilityfor what you want in this life.
1889
01:22:19,414 --> 01:22:21,708
And if you wantthe best governor
1890
01:22:21,708 --> 01:22:23,251
for your state of Illinois,
1891
01:22:23,251 --> 01:22:26,212
then you have to go out thereand accept responsibility,
1892
01:22:26,212 --> 01:22:29,591
an‐and work as hard as you canfor Lindsay Mitchell!
1893
01:22:29,591 --> 01:22:32,093
(crowd cheering, applauding)
1894
01:22:33,344 --> 01:22:35,555
Uh, just...Sorry, sorry, sorry. Um...
1895
01:22:35,555 --> 01:22:36,973
Uh, one more thing.
1896
01:22:38,266 --> 01:22:40,351
Sam. Sam Baselli.
1897
01:22:41,978 --> 01:22:44,314
Just, just listento me. Please.
1898
01:22:45,315 --> 01:22:47,233
You were right,about everything.
1899
01:22:47,942 --> 01:22:50,028
I have to take responsibilityfor what I did,
1900
01:22:50,570 --> 01:22:51,863
and for what I want.
1901
01:22:52,864 --> 01:22:54,199
And what I didwas messed up.
1902
01:22:55,200 --> 01:22:57,702
And I don't just meanthat opening number.
1903
01:22:58,703 --> 01:23:00,497
And what I wantis you.
1904
01:23:01,748 --> 01:23:03,082
I'm not going to LA.
1905
01:23:03,666 --> 01:23:05,168
There are other jobs.
1906
01:23:07,462 --> 01:23:10,256
But... there'sno other Sam Baselli.
1907
01:23:11,382 --> 01:23:12,926
You're my best friend, Sam.
1908
01:23:14,677 --> 01:23:16,971
And wherever I have to beso I could fall asleep
1909
01:23:16,971 --> 01:23:19,599
with you in my armsand wake up lookingin your eyes...
1910
01:23:21,559 --> 01:23:22,852
that's where I'm gonna be.
1911
01:23:24,604 --> 01:23:26,523
I'm not going anywherebecause...
1912
01:23:27,315 --> 01:23:28,316
I love you.
1913
01:23:28,942 --> 01:23:30,527
Girl: Aww.
1914
01:23:31,444 --> 01:23:32,362
(clears throat)
1915
01:23:32,362 --> 01:23:34,155
And you can trust meon that.
1916
01:23:36,366 --> 01:23:37,325
For real.
1917
01:23:40,537 --> 01:23:42,705
Well, are you gonna come upand kiss him, Sam?
1918
01:23:43,331 --> 01:23:44,707
Or should I?
1919
01:23:45,458 --> 01:23:46,960
(Lindsay laughing)
1920
01:23:48,169 --> 01:23:50,755
(crowd cheering)
1921
01:23:52,090 --> 01:23:52,924
(grunts)
1922
01:23:56,261 --> 01:24:00,014
(crowd cheering, applauding)
1923
01:24:02,934 --> 01:24:04,811
Lindsay:
How about that?
1924
01:24:04,811 --> 01:24:06,729
That young man put it allon the line...
1925
01:24:06,729 --> 01:24:08,523
I know you like to be right
about everything,
1926
01:24:09,315 --> 01:24:10,942
but you were
so wrong about this.
1927
01:24:12,026 --> 01:24:14,112
Friends can fall in love...
1928
01:24:15,989 --> 01:24:17,240
and I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life
1929
01:24:17,240 --> 01:24:18,533
making sure
you know it.
1930
01:24:20,660 --> 01:24:22,078
I don't mind
being wrong.
1931
01:24:37,885 --> 01:24:41,014
♪ I'm just wild about Harry ♪
1932
01:24:41,014 --> 01:24:44,267
♪ And Harry's wild about me ♪
1933
01:24:44,726 --> 01:24:46,644
♪ The heavenly blisses ♪
1934
01:24:46,644 --> 01:24:50,315
♪ Of his kissesfill me with ecstasy ♪
1935
01:24:51,190 --> 01:24:54,360
♪ He's sweetjust like chocolate candy ♪
1936
01:24:54,360 --> 01:24:57,739
♪ Or just like honeyfrom a bee ♪
1937
01:24:57,739 --> 01:25:00,074
♪ Oh, I'm just wildabout Harry... ♪
1938
01:25:00,074 --> 01:25:01,117
Hey!
1939
01:25:01,117 --> 01:25:02,702
Hey!
1940
01:25:03,620 --> 01:25:05,246
(baby giggles)
1941
01:25:05,496 --> 01:25:06,998
‐How was your day?
‐Good.
1942
01:25:07,540 --> 01:25:09,042
Yeah? You have
a good day?
1943
01:25:09,042 --> 01:25:09,959
Yeah.
1944
01:25:09,959 --> 01:25:11,711
‐A little bit moody today.
‐Aww.
1945
01:25:13,504 --> 01:25:16,341
(indistinct conversation)
1946
01:25:24,974 --> 01:25:28,895
♪ Oh, I'm just wildabout Harry ♪
1947
01:25:28,895 --> 01:25:34,859
♪ And he's just wildabout me ♪
1948
01:25:38,404 --> 01:25:40,948
♪ I'm just wildabout Harry ♪
1949
01:25:41,616 --> 01:25:45,453
♪ And Harry's wildabout me ♪
1950
01:25:45,453 --> 01:25:47,830
♪ The heavenly blisses ♪
1951
01:25:47,830 --> 01:25:52,251
♪ Of his kissesfill me with ecstasy ♪
1952
01:25:52,877 --> 01:25:56,464
♪ He's sweetjust like chocolate candy ♪
1953
01:25:56,464 --> 01:25:59,926
♪ Or just like honeyfrom a bee ♪
1954
01:26:00,259 --> 01:26:04,097
♪ Oh, I'm just wildabout Harry ♪
1955
01:26:04,097 --> 01:26:07,100
♪ And he's just wildabout me ♪
138670
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