Original subtitles

I can't feel my face. That means it's working.

It's good for your pores.

I think it means I'm dying.

No, I saw it on TikTok.

You have to leave it on until it stings.

And then what? My skin falls off? Don't really laugh. It's falling.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Get it! Get it! Don't move! Don't move! Why

do I have to get it? Look at the man in the house go!

Okay, well, that's success. Okay, it's a cockroach shell. It's a good privacy

system. Modern women don't like to admit they want a knight in shining armor.

Dad, hurry up!

But when a cockroach is involved, any man with a paper towel and a foot is

fine. Wait, you can't kill it.

What do you want me to do then?

Like, usher it out.

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

I killed her. It's dead.

No!

I want to settle down.

I want to settle down.

Won't you settle down? Harry has never seen herself as a damsel in distress.

What about this thing on the weekend?

End of year, tennis and brunch.

Oh, no, absolutely not. Why is that in your eye, Cal?

Fucking Stella.

Yeah, but what is it, though?

Okay, every year my boss's boss, Richard, flies up from Queenstown to his

other mansion to pretend he gives a shit about the Auckland office, and everyone

has to play tennis and eat tiny sandwiches while Danny tongue-punches

Richard's ego.

Honestly, it sounds fun.

Yeah, it sounds like what Satan makes you do in hell. Plus, it's a couples

-only shindig, and I'm never banned.

We should go. Like, actually, we should go.

I'm sorry.

Have you had a stroke? Can you smell toast?

Harry, think about it.

Networking, small talk, casual sports where there's no pressure to be good.

It's actually my Olympics.

Okay.

I don't want to see Danny, and I don't want to have to play tennis, like, just

to get a promotion.

Why? It's way better than working hard for it. Plus, I'm excellent at tennis.

You've never played tennis in your life. Well, I've seen Wimbledon. It can't be

that hard. But Sal, nailing small talk with her boss, might be the equivalent

of saving her from a dragon.

I guess.

Okay, this needs to stop. You're actually going to rip your finger off.

Good, then I can't hold a racket.

We're going to be fine. You're catastrophizing. I am appropriately

catastrophizing, okay?

All right. These people have actual tennis courts in their houses. They

summer places as a verb.

So? So I summer in my apartment with a desk fan pointed at my crotch. They're

not my people, okay?

You're going to thank me later, okay?

You've just got to trust me.

Do you trust me?

Kind of.

You know you want to.

No. Come on.

Come on.

No. Ready? Are you ready? Are you ready?

And... Listen to me, I'm feeling afraid Of something

in my life that is wrong You're trying to tell me that

I'm okay Don't worry because I am strong And you.

And now you.

It's hard sometimes, but remember that I'm only human.

Get it, girl. And the things that I face are the same things that you can help

me to overcome.

I don't want nobody else. I don't need somebody else to tell me about

love. I am strong on my own.

But if you think you can tell me why the things I'm doing is going wrong,

it's just me getting stronger.

Oh, what? Oh!

Yo, what up?

Bro, you going to a rich white person's house?

Yeah, yeah, it's for Harry's work schmooze thing. Have you not seen Get

Out? You're literally the perfect victim. Brown, educated, all your teeth.

Bye, Fosse.

Harry, listen.

If they have a gazebo, run. You can't trust a white family with a gazebo.

Now this I completely agree with. Oh, my God, Fosse.

If they have a brown housekeeper, get the fuck out immediately.

Okay, now you're being ridiculous.

Okay. Cool. Bye, Fosse. Love you.

Bye. Oh,

my God.

Thanks. Thanks for doing this for me. I do really appreciate it.

Don't mention it.

Also, we totally missed the town. Yeah, yeah, I really felt like we've got too

far. Yeah, we gotta go back to the city.

Holy shit.

Okay, we can still leave. Say we've got, like, food poisoning or something.

Come on, we're here. We're doing this, okay?

We do not belong here.

How much do you think a place like this is worth?

Ten mil?

Twenty mil? I have no idea. You must be Harriet.

And this must be Selman. Welcome.

Richard's been looking forward to meeting you. I'll take you there.

They have a brown housekeeper.

She seems lovely.

She seems trapped in servitude.

We have to save her.

Richard's just finishing a call, but can I get you anything?

Water? Wine?

No, no, no, that's fine. You don't have to serve us or anyone ever, actually.

Well, let me know if you change your mind.

I won't. Harriet?

Yeah, that's me.

Yes.

Finally.

Danny's been hiding you.

Oh, please call me Harry.

Okay, Harry.

Yeah. You must be the new husband, Sal. I am. I am the new husband.

Where have you been hiding him? Behind a dental dam, mostly.

Yeah, yeah. I'm a dentist. Oh. Yeah. I've got this crown that's making a bit

of a ticking sound. Is that normal?

You don't have to answer that now. Hey, don't tell me what to do, Richard. I'll

answer when I want to.

All right. Okay.

Harry's managed to avoid the other woman, a.k.a. Sarah, until this moment.

Somehow she looks even better six months pregnant.

You're here.

Yeah, what can I say? We love tennis.

This is Sal. This is my husband, Sal.

Denny, I'm Harry's boss.

Yeah, yeah, she's told me a lot about you. Uh-huh. All good, I assume?

Just a lot.

Lovely to meet you, Harry.

You too, Sarah.

Danny tells me that you're a great writer.

Oh, does he?

Well, sort of. But congratulations on the baby.

Yeah, that's the word I was looking for.

That little detail, however, Harry had failed to mention to Sal. Yeah, wow, you

are uber-pregnant.

I'm actually only six months.

Oh, right. Danny and I go way back.

We actually went to primary school together.

It was also at his fifth birthday party.

He sat on his chair during the piñata.

I'm not afraid of a piñata, Richard.

Yeah, well, you tried for two hours after, you pussy.

Hey, we've all been there, man.

Yeah.

Shall we?

Please let me take your jacket.

No, that's not necessary.

You don't need to take my jacket. I'll just keep it. I'll keep it, or I'll burn

it, or... Give her the jacket.

Put it in the cloakroom. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for all that you

do for humanity and for jackets and cardigans.

Oh, my God.

Oh, hi, Sola.

I cannot believe that you are here.

Yeah. Did you never come to these things? No. Is this him, your husband?

Yeah, this is him. This is Sal. You are gorgeous.

Your babies are going to be stunning.

Like caramel macchiato.

I don't quite know what that means.

Just that your baby can make a lot of money online.

Oh, cool. Cool.

I like your hair. Stop.

It's not mine, but that's nice. He's so nice. Why is he so nice? I don't know. I

think it's a medical condition.

Okay. Stop pissing about.

Game's about to start. Every couple eventually has to face their first

battle together.

This was Harry and Sal.

All right. You know the rules?

Yes or no questions only.

And answers, right?

Yeah. Right? Okay, I'm going to go first.

Am I alive?

Yeah. Am I American?

Yeah. Am I Steve Jobs? No.

Is he?

Yeah. All right, Sarah, your turn. Okay.

Am I female?

Yeah. European?

Yeah. In politics?

Yeah. Currently in power?

No. Merkel?

Yeah. I knew it. I knew it. At school, Sarah's career advisor recommended she

either become a nuclear physicist or run an organized crime syndicate. Harry,

you're up. Oh, um...

Okay, am I a man?

No.

Okay.

Sorry, I don't know. Greg, you go.

Am I an athlete?

No, obviously.

Why is that obviously, Janet? Just no.

Jesus. Someone else?

Am I in music?

Yes. Well done.

Am I Beyonce?

No, that's Richard.

Oh, you can't say that. Now he knows what he is.

Okay, my turn.

Am I Beyonce?

Yeah. Yeah.

Boom. I always get Beyonce.

Oh, cool.

That's awesome.

All right, come on, Sal. Your turn. Hurry up. Oh, okay.

Yes or no.

Do I have a job? Not really. Not really. Not maybe.

Oh, okay. So I'm a royal.

I mean, I'm not.

What? Kind of. Look, it's all muddy, man. I'm going to go, okay?

Do people respect me?

Women definitely don't. Sarah is absolutely talking about Danny.

I'm getting a big yes from here, a big no from here. I'm going to go Tiger

Woods.

No.

All right.

I am fucking bored.

Let's go play some tennis.

Let's go.

We didn't really finish the game.

Okay.

You're Monica Lewinsky, by the way.

Am I American at least?

You're Serbian.

Oh, okay. Am I Novak Djokovic?

No, Greg.

You committed genocide.

What? You're a war criminal, Greg.

Oh, am I good at art? No, dumbass. That was Hitler. You're Slobodan Milosevic.

Take the fucking post-it off. Marriage is not unlike a job. You have to clock

in every day and do the work. We started off like you.

It'll change.

Janet and Greg went on a lunch break in 2017 and never came back.

It's been a long time since anything got Slobodan, I can tell you that much.

Oh.

Play some fucking tennis. Sometimes, till death do us part, is more of a goal

than a vow.

You need shade?

Oh, come on.

I think I'm already burnt.

Jeez, that was fast.

Don't worry, though.

This'll be over with pronto.

All right. Hope you're ready, Tal.

Let's talk more play, Danny.

Oh. Okay.

Surely she shouldn't be playing. Hey, look.

We know what we're doing, okay? We really don't. Well, then let's take it.

It's our superpower, baby. Oh, God.

Let's play tennis, motherfucker!

Yes,

baby!

All right, next one, next one, next one.

Nice birdie.

You almost got that one, Sal.

Almost got that one.

I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm fine, keep going.

I got it, I got it.

Oh, come on.

Boom.

How long have you been playing?

11 minutes. Oh, God, I'm going to peel like a snake.

Yeah.

Okay, I'm out of here. Okay.

We can do it.

Stay deep in it. Now watch me do my dance. I'm the player of the day.

Come on.

Go,

go, go.

Danny,

stop mucking around for it.

Harry, match point. You got this. I absolutely do not got this. Just channel

your inner Serena Williams.

I don't have an inner Serena Williams. I have an inner Kathy Griffin. Okay,

that's fine. Channel her, then.

A great husband backs you up. They're your ultimate teammates, helping you to

access a power you didn't know you had.

Never mind.

Oh, my God.

The fuck, Harry?

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Baby, are you okay?

Should we get some help? Sal, you're a doctor. Of teeth. I'm a doctor of teeth.

I thought you were joking. Everyone, I'm fine. I just, I'm gonna need a minute.

Sarah, I didn't, I didn't mean to. You've done enough.

I'm a monster.

No, no, you're not a monster. It's just a really unfortunate direct hit.

Hey, uh, you know what?

Forget doubles.

Let's go one-on-one.

You know? Mano en mano.

Right now, Denny? Or are you scared? Why would I be scared? Yeah, I reckon he's

scared. Yeah.

Maybe he's scared.

You know what, Denny?

Fine. Let's go.

Okay. Okay.

You ready, Doctor?

Bring it on, top knot.

Sarah, I'm so, so sorry. I suck at penis. I really didn't. Can you stop

talking? Bad enough that you're fucking my husband.

It's not like that.

It's exactly like that.

And honestly, I don't even care.

You can fuck him all you want.

I don't want to anymore. We're not... Oh, I'm sorry. Do you think I care what

you want?

You will not stop me from getting what I deserve.

Danny has a good job because of me.

I know how to play the game.

Sarah, I can explain. I like my life, okay?

I like having nice things.

And a big house with a cleaner. And never having to worry about money ever.

Danny is my ticket to that life.

And I will not let some raggedy-hand motherfucker ruin that for me.

He told me you were broken up.

Oh, but men like Danny don't leave women like me for someone like you.

You're a cheeseburger, Harry.

Is that like a good thing?

You're cheap.

Easy, fast.

You may taste good in the moment, but ultimately, you block his colon and give

him bowel cancer.

Jesus. I am wacky steak.

I am the main fucking course.

I am what he brings home to impress people.

You are what he eats drunk in his car at 2am when he's feeling ashamed of

himself.

I've just never had wacky before, so... Do your midlife crisis on your own time.

Karma isn't a bitch. It's just consequences.

A slow, boring accumulation of choices Harry made when she thought that no one

was watching.

That led her to exactly this moment.

Give it up, Stell.

You can't beat me.

Never. Okay.

Not cricket, mate. You're out of your league.

I'm doing just fine.

Harriet, can I help you?

Are you all right? You look a little red.

Oh, just, um, too pale.

It's a genetic curse.

I have something that will help.

Oh, you don't have to follow me, please.

Hey,

nice place, by the way.

Cozy. What did you just say?

Hey, what's the arrangement?

She puts out and you play out.

Oh, she's got to be holding it down if she has to call me.

What the fuck?

Oh, shit, shit, shit. You're a dead man, Sal.

I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

And for Sal, like a lot of men, the consequences of his choices have come

down to a couple of dudes fighting over balls.

Fucking kill him.

Hey, I like your husband.

How did you two meet?

It's a long story. We're actually just really good friends.

When I first met my husband, we were friends, too. For years, actually.

I kept waiting for that big romantic moment, like in the movies.

We just loved spending time together.

We made each other laugh.

Ground and pound!

Ground and pound!

Dominate him! Wait, wait, wait!

I have to tell you something. Okay.

Wet Heart is my favorite wrestler.

This is such a good duel.

It was a lovely day.

Damn it! Oh, God.

With that, Sal, I should go.

Thanks for that.

You know what? It's the weekend.

You should be with your husband, not here with these people.

Richard is my husband.

You're in my house.

I own this.

Oh no.

It's okay. It's not the first time.

Assumptions are like your drunk uncle at a barbecue.

Opinionated and a little bit racist.

Do you like this?

Get off!

I need you to defend my honor.

I won.

Fuck off.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

But he is an asshole, and you know I'm right. No offense, but these white

people are crazy.

They have a brown housekeeper like it's fucking 1950.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I won't stay silent. Ma'am, you do not have to work

here, okay? You are worth more than this. You deserve... more than this now

you need to stop no no no you are a beautiful intelligent woman who should

not be relegated to serving these people get off me this is systemic oppression

this is everything that is wrong with the world she is not the housekeeper

natalie is richard's wife what yeah this is her house

she owns it

Thank you so much for a lovely brunch.

Would you look at the time?

It's getting so late. We should go.

We should go.

We should go.

Let's go. Come on, honey. We're going to go.

Yeah, run away, bitch.

Did you know Tenny's wife was pregnant?

Like, the whole time?

I don't need your judgment right now.

Okay, I've had enough of that today. I just want to not talk.

Yeah?

Can we do that?

Yeah.

I'm sorry I assaulted Danny.

Harry, you're a catch.

I hope you know that.

And... you deserve so much more than that guy.

I think there's something wrong with me.

That's not true.

It's not not true, though.

Look, we... we all make mistakes, don't...

Don't beat yourself up about it.

I think I want to quit my job.

Yeah.

I think that's a good idea.

Yeah. But you don't have to support me or anything. I'll still pay rent and

stuff. I know that wasn't ideal.

I don't mind supporting you.

That's so... nice.

I'm a nice guy, remember?

This is what it feels like when someone sees you, all of you, even the part of

you that you hate.

And they stay anyway.

You can make a pact, draw up rules, and have the perfect plan on paper to try

and game the system.

But feelings?

They don't care about your rules.