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This programme contains violent
scenes and images of the deceased
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00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:08,360
that viewers may find distressing
from the very start,
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00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,920
strong language, offensive and
discriminatory attitudes,
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and scenes of a sexual nature
throughout
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You! You murderer!
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This isn't murder.
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It's an execution.
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Yeah! Woo!
Yes, Clive.
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Come on, Clive!
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Excuse me, I'm looking for Connor.
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I think he's up on the roof.
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On the Bishop Street side.
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Thanks...
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..Rajesh.
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Cheers.
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How'd you get in?
I was just passing.
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How's it going?
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You're passing ten floors up.
How's that happen?
19
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There's no jobs, Clive,
I've got nothing.
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Yeah, I was just wondering, cos,
you know, I find myself free,
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so I thought I'd offer.
No, don't need you.
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I can do anything.
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Where's that lad that used
to work for you, Francis?
24
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Where's he now?
25
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I got rid of him.
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I'll tell you where he is.
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He's working for Ashbury's.
28
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And do you know what? He's happy.
29
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Proper little smiler, he is.
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Not when he was with you.
He was miserable as sin,
31
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cos you bullied him, night and day.
32
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He was useless.
He was good, Clive.
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You stamped on him.
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So, no, I don't have any jobs,
35
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cos no one likes working with you.
36
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You're a fucking misery,
truth be told.
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You'll employ Rajesh.
38
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Yes, I will.
39
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:16,800
What's wrong with him?
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00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,960
Just...work's a bit short,
so if you hear of anything, I...
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00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,240
I won't.
Well, if you do...
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I won't!
But there is something.
43
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You can tell your lot I said thanks.
44
00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:29,200
What do you mean?
I've been going sites like these
45
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since I was 16 years old,
and I saved, Clive.
46
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,360
Saved like a dog
right from the start,
47
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cos I thought,
"I'd like a nice life one day."
48
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,120
Just me and the missus,
nice little life.
49
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,520
And I got one.
Tiny little farmhouse.
50
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It's a wreck, but I done it up.
51
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,040
Ten years it took me,
now it's all done.
52
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,440
My retirement, all set up.
53
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Except I can go there
for 90 days. That's all.
54
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,880
Just 90 sodding days,
55
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cos it's in France, isn't it?
56
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,840
90 days and I've gotta go home,
thanks to your lot.
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Now I'm voting leave, for you.
58
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:02,640
Piss off, Clive.
59
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I can pay you 120 a day.
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I can do bar work for that.
61
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Yeah, but I'm paying two wages.
62
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,680
Sick pay for Bugs,
and now his replacement.
63
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,560
I can give you six days,
and that's it.
64
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,200
Um, do you mind
not eating in the hall?
65
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Eh? It's like a doss house.
66
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,280
Some of us have got to live here.
67
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:15,120
Are you gonna be turning
the electric off again?
68
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,440
You should've got a letter.
I did, and I read it,
69
00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,560
and it was a photocopy,
it wasn't specific to this place,
70
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so I don't trust you for a second.
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Diane.
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Flat five.
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Clive.
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See you, Clive.
75
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,120
This roll?
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00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,760
Please, stop! Stop, stop!
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Yes!
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00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:01,280
Right, your second go. Good luck.
79
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,080
Liz... Liz.
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00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,520
That's what I like to see.
81
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:18,960
Hard at work.
82
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:22,800
Where's your...your little mates?
83
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,640
Oh, you know what it's like,
same old story.
84
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:27,600
New job across town,
and off they go.
85
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:29,840
If I was in charge,
I wouldn't allow it.
86
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,480
Oh, so you're not the boss, then?
87
00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,440
No, not me, no.
88
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,640
If I was running this,
it'd be finished by now.
89
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,360
Well...
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00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,000
..that would be a shame.
91
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,840
So, packed his stuff,
chucked him out.
92
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,120
That wasn't the end of it, though,
93
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,160
because he'd left
all these bills unpaid.
94
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,560
I found them!
95
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,760
He'd stuffed them away,
96
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,320
hidden them, like a squirrel.
97
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,480
There was council tax, electricity,
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00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,320
some of them going back months.
99
00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,320
I said, "What's all this?"
100
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,280
He said, "I just panic."
101
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,360
I said, "What do you mean, you just
panic?"
102
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,800
He said, "It's me dyslexia."
103
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:08,320
Oh, God, I bet, yeah.
104
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,440
That's just a bloody excuse,
isn't it?
105
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:11,640
That's what I said!
106
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,440
You know,
there's no such thing as dyslexia.
107
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,600
Oh, my God,
that's exactly what I said!
108
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,040
I've been saying that
to him for years.
109
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:19,880
It's just a fraud. You know, it's,
like, this billion-dollar industry.
110
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,160
Oh, my God, you are like
a voice in the wilderness.
111
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,160
This is too good to be true.
112
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Come on, tell me,
is there a Mrs Clive?
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Eh?
Because there is, isn't there?
114
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:32,920
Yeah, yeah.
115
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,120
Marie.
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Been married 24 years.
117
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Two boys, Saul and George.
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Old-fashioned names.
119
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Yeah.
120
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,960
And how are you, you and Marie?
121
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,320
Yeah, we're OK.
122
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:52,200
You know,
both a bit knackered, but...
123
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:54,480
..I'm in the bad books.
124
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,920
You know,
I have been for a very long time.
125
00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:03,200
Why?
126
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Go easy, it costs me enough.
127
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,160
Oh...
128
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,040
I just, just made a mistake,
you know?
129
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,040
So, we went on
holiday to Scarborough,
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to this, caravan park.
131
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,240
And there was this woman,
132
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cos they had this restaurant,
133
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,320
well, it was, like, a cafe thing,
and she worked there.
134
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:29,960
Patricia. Patricia.
135
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:33,080
Yeah, listen, it had just been a
long time since anyone fancied me,
136
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,520
and Patricia, she was, like,
she was looking, you know?
137
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:38,200
And I kinda, well,
to be fair, I was puzzled.
138
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,440
Get to the point.
Well, I slept with her.
139
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:49,320
And just one night,
they had this barbecue, and...
140
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,600
..Marie...found out.
141
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:55,080
And kaboom, you know, that was it.
142
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Never forgiven.
143
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:57,840
To this day.
144
00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,840
And I mean never, ever forgiven.
145
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:01,920
I mean never.
146
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:08,320
And I've paid the price for
that to this sodding day, I have.
147
00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,760
How did she find out?
148
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,040
Um, well, I told her.
149
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:17,840
Well, what did you do that for?
150
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,280
I've learnt my lesson now,
haven't I?
151
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:23,960
So, you won't tell her next time?
152
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:28,880
No.
153
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:35,160
There's a little Italian,
Barlow Moor Road.
154
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Friday night,
they do two courses for 15 quid.
155
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,360
Fancy it?
156
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,440
Right, I'm off.
Tell Stewart I said hello.
157
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:12,760
Hey.
158
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,240
Clive, yeah?
159
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:54,800
All right, down here.
160
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,000
Oh, you don't mind, do you?
161
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,160
No, go for it.
162
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,640
Yeah. It's my girlfriend.
163
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,360
She's got a new job.
She's very excited.
164
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,600
Oh, thank you.
165
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,560
She says thanks.
166
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:41,840
We're not allowed to take tips.
167
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,120
Buy her something.
168
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,440
Thank you very much.
169
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:53,080
Oh, that's so nice of him.
Thank you!
170
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,480
Yeah, nice guy, ain't he?
171
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,960
Well, you didn't stand me up.
172
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,000
That's a good sign.
173
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:16,000
You look smart.
174
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,120
I was gonna make a
bit more of an effort,
175
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,160
but, Christine phoned
just as I got in and I said,
176
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,760
"Not now, Christine,"
but she wouldn't stop.
177
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:26,360
Right, cos I wanted to say,
178
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:30,800
I think I should make it clear
that there's not gonna be any sex,
179
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,120
you know, so...
180
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,040
Who said there was?
No one.
181
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,360
There's not.
Let me sit down, for fuck's sake.
182
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,880
I just think I should explain.
183
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:49,760
Um, because with Patricia, that was
the woman in the caravan park.
184
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,120
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know who she is.
185
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,880
Yeah, well, I didn't sleep with
her.
186
00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:58,480
OK. I mean, there was a moment,
you know.
187
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:01,280
I mean, she was...she was looking,
all the time.
188
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:02,720
I mean, Marie noticed, she said,
189
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,400
"Look, she's looking," and,
190
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,800
and there was this
big barbecue thing,
191
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,080
but I didn't...
192
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:10,080
Nothing happened, we...
193
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,880
..did not.
194
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,880
And what do you want, eh? A medal?
195
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,240
I just think you should know,
that's all.
196
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:18,640
Then why did you say you did?
197
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,560
Because it would make her cross.
198
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:26,600
Who?
Marie.
199
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:27,800
Your wife?
Yeah.
200
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:28,840
Hang on.
201
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,440
You didn't just tell me
you slept with Patricia,
202
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,960
you told your wife you slept
with Patricia, when you didn't.
203
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,280
Yeah.
So, you made it all up?
204
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,800
You lied to your wife?
For how long?
205
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:44,120
Well, you know, six years.
206
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:47,800
She's been punishing you
for six years for nothing?
207
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:50,280
Does she know now?
208
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,560
Have you told her?
Does she know the truth?
209
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,720
No.
210
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,840
Jesus Christ, Clive.
211
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,000
I mean, Jesus Christ.
212
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,120
Why did you lie in the first place?
213
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,920
Because...
214
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:07,280
I thought it would
make me look, um...
215
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:08,440
What?
216
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:12,800
Sexy.
217
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:26,920
Well, I will say,
218
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:30,080
it was the most
interesting thing about you.
219
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,080
Don't say anything.
220
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,240
Don't make a fuss.
221
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:37,520
Don't do that to me.
222
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,160
So, what happened?
223
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,760
Just, nothing much.
224
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,280
Stewart's really boring
since he got that job and,
225
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,000
Brody's got work tomorrow, so...
226
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,520
Where are the boys?
227
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:54,280
Out.
228
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,960
Still?
229
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,080
Friday night.
230
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:21,960
I was thinking, the boys...
231
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,960
We said we'd wait 'til they were old
enough and then split up,
232
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,480
but it's not gonna work, is it?
233
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,680
We can't afford it, Clive.
234
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,280
Either I leave, or you leave,
235
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,320
and I can't afford a flat, can you?
236
00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:38,240
I'm trying to get more work,
aren't I?
237
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,920
I'm not having a go.
238
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,120
Then what?
239
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:49,480
Well, it could be years till
the boys leave home.
240
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:50,760
Saul's showing no sign,
241
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,680
and even if George goes
to university,
242
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:57,440
they go, and then they come back.
That's what happens these days.
243
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,880
So?
244
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:06,600
So, I'm saying that we stay like
this, living here, it's not so bad.
245
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,000
Well, I don't think it's bad at all.
246
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,960
Well, it is,
if you don't mind my saying so.
247
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,560
But if we accept it,
and all right, yes,
248
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:26,520
OK, I will stop having
a go at you, then we'd be OK.
249
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,520
We could stop pretending.
250
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:33,760
At what?
251
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,960
This.
252
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,240
We could stop this.
253
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,320
OK. Yeah.
254
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,200
It's about time.
255
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:48,440
Is it?
256
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,360
I don't need it, I'm fine.
257
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,400
And I know men like
to have their little bit of fun,
258
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,880
God knows you're proof of that,
259
00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,680
but you could finish yourself off.
260
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,600
You do it anyway.
261
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,160
If you're 20 minutes in
the bathroom,
262
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,800
the boys say you're having a wank.
263
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,480
Jesus. Well, aren't you?
264
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:07,840
Marie.
265
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:15,600
I just think it would help if
we stop planning
266
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,040
for things that are never
gonna happen.
267
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,640
Cos I dream of it, Clive.
268
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,160
Little flat all on my own...
269
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,240
..tiny little garden...
270
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,840
..window in the sunlight
271
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,480
so Mum can come and sit with me.
272
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:39,840
it's never gonna happen, is it?
273
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,440
So, what, we just stay like this
forever, do we?
274
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,480
Well, one of us will die,
in the end.
275
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,400
You in tonight?
276
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:05,880
Fuck's it matter to you?
277
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:07,080
All right, I'm just...
278
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,240
How's your project?
279
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,280
What project?
280
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,160
American civil rights.
What grade did you get?
281
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,200
Dunno. Well, you do know, come on.
What grade did you get?
282
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:24,760
A B.
283
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,520
Oh. Can't you work a bit harder?
284
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,600
What did you get in school then?
No, go on. What grade did you get?
285
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,800
All right. So, tell me about it.
About what?
286
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,760
American civil rights.
287
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,040
You're kidding.
Yeah, come on, educate me.
288
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,080
What for?
289
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:44,080
Cos I wanna know.
Yeah, but what for?
290
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,000
Cos your mum thinks we should
talk more,
291
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,000
but she doesn't see it -
292
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:57,760
..fucking insolence on your face
when you talk to me.
293
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,280
Aye, aye. Sorry, I know. I've locked
myself out.
294
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:14,200
I was just putting something
in the bin and then, click.
295
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:15,640
Go on, give us your key then.
296
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,080
You said you had a spare key,
297
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:18,880
you might as well give it to me,
mightn't you?
298
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,560
What's your alarm code?
299
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,080
Er, OK. 1502.
300
00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:26,640
1502. Remember George. 1502.
301
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,560
God, he's got a nice life next door,
302
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,640
hasn't he? Swanning around all
hours.
303
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,000
What've you done now?
304
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:33,320
His key. Like when his alarm went
305
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:34,800
off last time when he was
on holiday,
306
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,760
now we won't have to put up with it.
307
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,160
What was it?
308
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,120
1502. 1502.
309
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,040
That's his alarm.
310
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,520
They use titanium in the engine
311
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,400
and the bonnet is carbon fibre,
312
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,520
and the whole thing feels so light,
313
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,520
it's like a stiff breeze could blow
it away,
314
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:48,640
except it grips like crazy.
315
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,920
The traction control is astonishing.
316
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,240
It can detect wheelspin in
a microsecond.
317
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:54,680
Less than a microsecond.
318
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,640
It almost detects
a spin before it's even happened.
319
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:01,000
I've never felt safer.
I've never felt more secure.
320
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,440
What are you doing in his house?
George?
321
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,160
Hey, answer me.
What are you doing in here?
322
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:28,640
I said there was someone in this
house.
323
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,160
I said so! He's been using the key.
324
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:31,760
What do you mean?
Did you know he was here?
325
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:33,560
Did I fuck! But I knew there was
someone in this house.
326
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:34,680
He's been drinking my wine.
327
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,080
The level on the wine goes down
every day.
328
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:38,480
Why are you talking about wine?
What's wine got to do with it?
329
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,960
No, you don't.
Don't try to get away with this.
330
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,560
Don't you touch him?
He's in my house!
331
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:43,800
Don't you fucking dare?
332
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:49,680
I gave you my key,
which he's gone and stolen.
333
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,080
Did you say he was in here every
day? Yeah.
334
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,360
Drinking wine every single day?
335
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,120
Yeah, and God knows what else,
because your son...
336
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:55,400
Is he drinking wine with you?
337
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,240
What?
338
00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,800
Fuck!
339
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:02,960
George!
340
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,720
George. Get here.
341
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:08,280
Eh!
342
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:12,920
Don't lock me out.
343
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:17,440
Your son has been wanking
in my house.
344
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:18,680
George!
345
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,360
Oh, God! Don't kill him!
346
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,960
Tell me,
what you doing in that man's house?
347
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,080
What were you doing in his house?
Did he invite you in?
348
00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:34,240
What's that supposed to mean?
Did he invite you?
349
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:36,920
Clive! Open the door!
Your boyfriend wants you.
350
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:38,080
Don't be so stupid.
351
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:39,440
Oh, I'm always the stupid one,
aren't I?
352
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:40,800
Clive, open the door!
353
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,000
Clive, open the door!
354
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,280
God, you couldn't leave him
alone, eh?
355
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:48,920
OK, this is all
a bit out of control.
356
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,320
We can sort it out.
I just want to see George.
357
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:53,560
I just want to talk him,
like adults, OK?
358
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,040
And I want my key, because you
were in charge of it, Clive,
359
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:57,360
and I want it back.
360
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:58,600
I'm sorry, all right?
361
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:00,400
George, don't you dare!
362
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,880
Get here!
363
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:07,640
Hey! George, get back here!
364
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:08,840
Hey!
365
00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:14,440
You'll have to come back in
the end.
366
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,560
He needs a bollocking,
because, you know,
367
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,400
I mean, we all make mistakes,
but he has crossed a line here.
368
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,840
What was he doing in your house?
369
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,200
What was my boy doing in your house,
370
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,120
for days and days?
371
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:43,880
He's 16 years old.
372
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,560
OK, see you later,
then. Bye.
373
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:53,360
Your son George... Don't!
374
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:57,240
Your son George stole my key
and waited till I left.
375
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,760
Because if I knew he was there,
376
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:06,040
why the fuck would I walk up
to my front door with you?
377
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:09,720
No, no, no, no, no, wait.
378
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,320
So he was breaking and entering,
379
00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:13,480
he stole things,
380
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,600
he masturbated in front
of my television,
381
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,400
and these are all on
the list of things I am telling
382
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,360
the police,
including your assault of me.
383
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:26,360
Because if you're gonna take on this
fucking poof...
384
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:32,760
..don't you...
385
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,000
..don't you say...
386
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,480
Don't you ever!
387
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:52,440
Jesus! Fuck!
388
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,240
Aghhh!
389
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:55,840
What?
390
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:57,640
What...?
391
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:13,600
Boss? Judy, tell Saul to pack his
stuff up and get out.
392
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,600
You will not believe what his father
has just done!
393
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:18,000
You're a beautiful lad, Saul,
394
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,640
but I'm afraid you've gotta go.
And if you wanna know why,
395
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:21,920
blame your mad old dad.
396
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,200
No, you need to come home.
They said Dad went crazy.
397
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,520
Like, George was in next
door's house.
398
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,560
He broke in and he was stark naked.
399
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,640
Bushra, I've got to go.
So, where's George now?
400
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,320
I don't know, do I? I'm still here.
401
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,160
He actually attacked you?
402
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:36,920
Yeah.
403
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:40,040
That is assault,
and you have to go to the police.
404
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,440
I don't even have my car. I left it
in town. I'm stuck here.
405
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:45,400
Can you come and drive me in?
406
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:46,840
I'm coming.
407
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,880
Somebody tell me...! What the hell?
408
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:55,680
He's gonna call the police, because
you assaulted him, Clive!
409
00:29:55,720 --> 00:30:00,120
Him and snotty bitch Stephanie,
they're gonna call the police.
410
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,320
Cheers. Cheers.
411
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,000
You should have a vodka in that.
412
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:38,480
I've gotta take the car home.
413
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:39,720
And I'm trying to stay alert.
414
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,200
I have a thief living next door,
and a thug.
415
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,960
Really, you should call the police
though. Really, really.
416
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,760
I know, I know. You should. But,
like, I'm thinking of me. I mean,
417
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:49,400
what if it got into the court?
I mean,
418
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:52,880
gay man with a 16-year-old boy in my
house? What would that look like?
419
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,440
He broke in. Yeah, but look at the
reaction of his dad, huh?
420
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:59,200
Anything to do with George, you
know.
421
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:02,880
Then I'm a groomer and a paedo
and a pervert. Oh, don't.
422
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,360
That gets online, there's five
million straight men
423
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:06,440
waiting to attack me.
424
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,440
Plenty of straight women.
425
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,360
What makes you say that?
426
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:11,800
The world.
427
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:13,240
And you know who would love
this story?
428
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,360
The Licensing Unit.
Oh, the council would leap on it,
429
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,480
then this place would be in trouble.
430
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,200
If I go to the police,
it will only get worse.
431
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,440
To be fair to little George,
432
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,800
he did just want a safe place
to wank.
433
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:29,480
Because men will do it anywhere.
434
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:30,760
I've been studying this for years,
435
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,160
it's my specialist subject.
And I have gotta tell you,
436
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,960
girls, men will do it everywhere,
all day long.
437
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,080
You name it,
they have spunked on it.
438
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,200
Cinema seats, theatres, graveyards,
439
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:42,880
cars. Every single car,
440
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,560
they've whacked off into every
single seat.
441
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,760
I used to carry a handkerchief to
wipe down seats on the bus,
442
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,720
I'm now considering
a beekeeper's outfit. Aeroplanes.
443
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:55,680
In the seats, the dirty dogs!
444
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,280
Seats, toilets, cockpits.
445
00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:59,960
That's what turbulence is!
446
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,400
I am telling you, they have been
fiddling away all through history.
447
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:06,000
You ask Sir Edmund Hilary
if he tugged off on
448
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:07,240
the top of Everest,
449
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:08,960
and he would say, yes...
450
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,760
..because it was there.!
451
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,640
Christopher Columbus, he discovered
America so he could find a new place
452
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:15,560
to whack it out.
453
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:17,360
Neil Armstrong, one small step,
454
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:19,080
one massive wank.
455
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,160
And then he varnished the Moon.
456
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:26,040
I'm telling you, two basic rules.
One, never sit down,
457
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,240
and two, don't go barefoot,
458
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,320
cos we are standing on
a carpet of glue,
459
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:34,040
and if we could see life through
UV glasses,
460
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:37,120
the whole world would look like
a melted candle.
461
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,080
Ooh. Fair do's to George!
462
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,440
He was maintaining a fine tradition.
463
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,880
To George.
To George!
464
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,720
He was round at Sammy's.
465
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:52,760
Hiding like a chicken.
466
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,760
You're supposed to be
the clever one.
467
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:01,280
But if Leo presses charges
and you get a criminal record,
468
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:04,840
you won't get into university.
469
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,480
That's not true, actually.
Sherry from down the road,
470
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:08,880
she got caught shoplifting,
471
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,480
and now she's doing economics.
472
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,520
Which is funny, if you think about
it.
473
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:17,240
Thank you. Now, button it.
474
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,200
You will go and apologise.
475
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,080
You'll apologise in person,
476
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:24,880
and I want you to write him a
letter. Fuck off!
477
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:26,480
Don't you dare!
478
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:31,240
You'll write a formal apology.
479
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,360
Plus you can add up how much you owe
him with all
480
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,720
the wine and stuff,
then double it and pay him back,
481
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,040
and then...and then...
482
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,680
Then you can tell us
why you did it.
483
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,080
I mean, I'm not stupid, I get it,
OK?
484
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,760
When I was a kid,
I had a key to my nan's,
485
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:00,760
and I would bunk off
486
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,880
and sit in her flat when she was out
on Thursday afternoons,
487
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,760
and I did that for five years,
and no-one knew a thing.
488
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,240
But that was family.
489
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,160
He's the man next door.
490
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:12,760
Did he ask you in? Shut up.
491
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:14,720
He gave us his key,
didn't he? It's an open door.
492
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:18,920
And...and you're too young to know
when you're being, like, seduced.
493
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:20,440
Don't be so stupid!
494
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:23,560
It's a good point.
495
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,320
Cos Leo is a bit out there.
496
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:32,960
He's a bit obvious.
And if he does call the police,
497
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,120
it would be a good line
to take in court.
498
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:39,280
He's a homosexual man choosing
499
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,440
to live ten feet away from
two healthy lads.
500
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,000
Two healthy...
501
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,160
..sexy lads, let's say it.
502
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,680
He looks at me sometimes. Does he?
503
00:34:51,720 --> 00:34:54,160
I catch him, now and then,
504
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:57,760
eyeing me up. He can't help himself.
505
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,080
Well, that could be useful.
506
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,240
God, you are just idiots!
507
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,960
Do you know why I went there?
508
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,240
To get away from you lot!
509
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:08,280
To get away from this house!
510
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:10,480
To get away from you!
511
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:13,920
Well, you're grounded.
512
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:17,080
And don't think you can go round
to Hassan's,
513
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,200
because I'm phoning his mother.
I warn you, George.
514
00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:21,000
She'll send you right back.
515
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:22,200
Have you got that?
516
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:30,640
I tell you what, darling,
517
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:32,800
you'd better get your locks changed.
518
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,000
Might be wise, just in case.
519
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,560
Such a hassle. Oh,
God, I've got the key safe, too.
520
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:40,360
I'll have to change everything.
521
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:33,800
Do you think he went through your
things, little Georgy Porgy?
522
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:34,920
What, like my pants?
523
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:36,760
Mm. I would.
524
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:38,440
Oh, God! Do you think he did?
525
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:40,560
Why? What would he find?
526
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,400
Boss, I was thinking,
did you check your computer?
527
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,840
No, it's good, it's locked,
it's got a password.
528
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:21,760
Although if I leave
the email open, it stays unlocked.
529
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:55,480
I'll tell you one
thing bothering me.
530
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:57,320
That night you were texting George.
531
00:38:57,360 --> 00:38:59,520
So? I was being kind.
532
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:00,840
Yeah, I know,
533
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:02,200
but if his mum and dad demand
534
00:39:02,240 --> 00:39:04,480
to know everything
and George shows it to them.
535
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:07,400
But I said nice things.
536
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:09,760
Oh, God, I left a voice note.
537
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:12,400
George, I swear, if you tell
your girlfriends about this,
538
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,080
they will tell you that every single
stupid boy does this
539
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,440
and you'll laugh about it.
540
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,360
Because there's such
a big world out there,
541
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,280
and you can have boyfriends
or girlfriends,
542
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:22,800
or whatever you like.
543
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:27,440
You can have all the wild
and crazy hot sex you want,
544
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,320
night after night.
Because I promise you Geroge,
545
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:36,080
there's a great big gay life,
just waiting for you.
546
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,480
So, if I delete it,
will it delete on George's thread?
547
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,800
Yes. Now, get rid of it.
548
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:56,720
Oh, shit.
549
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,560
Boss, I sent you that password
generator. It's free
550
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:10,080
and it's brilliant. Thanks, Mikey.
551
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,280
Oh, well, you weren't so helpful
this afternoon, were you?
552
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:14,120
I was pointing out the obvious.
553
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,520
What? He posted Saul's wanking video
on the group chat.
554
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:19,120
Oh, yeah. What? Saul the other son?
555
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:32,880
He gets it all out online.
Saul bares all.
556
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:35,840
It's ten out of ten,
and I mean ten.
557
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,000
It's not private,
it's a business,
558
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:45,440
and he chooses to promote himself.
559
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,400
It's not even up for debate.
He's your neighbour's son.
560
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:49,440
He's 25.
561
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,520
He's only 25.
562
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:53,600
He sells it, he wants us to see.
563
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:54,880
Is that on your phone?
564
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,080
It's on everyone's.
Well, then you should delete it.
565
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,640
If I end up taking Clive Goss
to court,
566
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,080
the behaviour of his son could be
very good evidence.
567
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,920
Leo, just don't have it anywhere.
568
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:06,000
Come on, it's not like I fancy him
569
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:07,920
or anything. Well, not much.
570
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:09,680
Oh, God!
571
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,200
I'll delete it. I'll delete it.
572
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:23,520
This is what they do.
573
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:26,200
They make a link between gay men
and children...
574
00:41:26,240 --> 00:41:28,640
..and that link is ineradicable.
575
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:30,240
It cannot be removed.
576
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,720
And they know that, the bastards.
577
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:35,120
So, they repeat it, they shout it...
578
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,480
..over and over,
and louder and louder.
579
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:39,120
Well, that's nice. Thanks, boss.
580
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:40,600
What did we do to deserve that?
581
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,000
What do you mean?
582
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:43,600
Your message, on the group chat.
583
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:45,120
Guilty as charged.
584
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:46,960
That's on my CV, Mr Struthers.
585
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,160
What? What's just happened?
586
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:49,800
He's just called us all perverts.
587
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,320
I didn't say that. Look.
588
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,480
Why would I do that?
589
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,480
Look, look, there's the time.
That's now.
590
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,240
12 minutes past, right now.
And you saw me,
591
00:41:58,280 --> 00:41:59,720
I was sitting here.
I didn't send it.
592
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:02,280
You must've been on dictation.
You must've pressed it by mistake.
593
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:04,600
You did say perverts out loud.
594
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:06,480
But it's not that bad, Melba.
595
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:07,800
I've got this couple in Levenshulme,
596
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:10,920
Blake and Robbie,
they've just adopted three children.
597
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,200
They'd never have been able
to do that back in the day,
598
00:42:13,240 --> 00:42:15,280
so things are better.
599
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:37,600
Ohhh!
600
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:15,840
All right, you lot,
got a surprise for you today.
601
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:20,760
I love my job, man!
602
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:21,880
Say hi, Molly.
603
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:23,160
Hi!
604
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:25,640
How hot, is she? Oh, my God!
605
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,160
Here we go.
606
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:48,760
This is for you, girls.
607
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:51,880
And some of you fellas.
608
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:57,120
Uhhh!
609
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:31,760
OK, it's been a long day.
610
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:35,200
Good luck, troops.
Keep flying the flag.
611
00:44:35,240 --> 00:44:37,600
Seriously, though, be careful.
612
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:39,320
What now?
613
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,960
Your phone! Texting a teenager!
614
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,440
Oi, I didn't do anything wrong.
615
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:47,080
There's nothing like that on
my phone, Leo.
616
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:51,200
Sometimes I think you lot are
so full of all your freedoms,
617
00:44:51,240 --> 00:44:52,960
you don't know when to stop.
618
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:06,720
Aghhh!
619
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:01,440
Is this you? Is this your lot?
620
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:27,560
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