Original subtitles

Uh...

Excuse me, who are you—

Hello.

This is my room.

Excuse me, who are you?

Ah.

Hold on a sec.

I'll be done in a minute.

Put your clothes on first.

We're both guys.

What are you scared of?

You pervert.

Hey, who you calling names?

I can't be bothered to argue with you.

The front desk must've messed up.

I'm going to find her.

Whoa whoa whoa, no no no.

They didn't mess up. They didn't.

I'm the one who messed up.

This is your room.

I'm leaving now. I'm leaving.

Not good enough.

This guesthouse is terribly run.

I'm checking out.

No no no no.

Lijiang guesthouses are all like this.

The service here is great.

Stay a few days and you'll see.

Service is great?

Mm-hm.

Then... what's all this?

Uh, ha ha.

This here, well...

It was a tiny mistake.

I didn't know you'd be here so soon.

I'll fix it right now.

Okay?

Besides—

I gave you a free show with this fine body of mine.

Still not satisfied?

Who wanted to see your body?

I'm checking out.

Hey.

Why so worked up?

Why—why are you getting so close to me?

Are you harassing me?

Har... ass... ment, huh?

Like this?

Hm?

I'm calling the cops.

The cops?

Sure, go ahead. Call them.

My uncle's the local beat cop around here.

Call them.

Go on, call.

Then I'll file a complaint.

I want to check out.

Don't, I was kidding.

Relax.

I'm still checking out.

Look at you.

You just have to pick a fight.

We've got no beef with each other.

Can't we just talk it out?

I'm leaving right now.

Fine.

Okay then... go on, hurry up and leave.

All right, bye.

Man, this guesthouse really is unreliable.

Oh hell, this—

What is this?

Shady-ass guesthouse.

Checking out.

Ow ow ow, Mom, easy!

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

Ow, Mom, take it easy.

Oh god, Mom.

Ow.

Hey there, handsome.

See, this is my son.

Ah.

He, well, every time I'm not looking,

he sneaks into empty rooms to paint.

Today, somehow,

he ended up in your room.

I'm so sorry, so sorry.

Apologize already, apologize!

Um, hi, I—I'm Gao Ran.

I'm Mosuo.

The Mosuo? You know,

the ones who do the midnight walking-marriage thing.

Hey!

What nonsense are you spewing?

Ow, Mom, that hurts.

Ow.

I'm sorry, handsome.

My son here,

he studies art.

His head, you see,

is a little...

Oh, oh.

you know.

Oh.

Business is hard enough as it is,

and the second he comes home for break, he's all over the place.

Just making trouble for me, just making trouble.

Just making trouble.

Right, right.

Tell you what,

I'll knock a bit off your room rate,

and throw in a basket of fruit.

Oh.

Yunnan fruit is delicious.

Sweet, guaranteed.

Oh, well...

Okay then.

Young man, you're so sweet.

Ugh, not like you.

Not like you, not like you.

Always making trouble for me,

trouble, trouble.

Oh.

Go, go, go.

Go clean up.

Okay, I'm heading out.

Ow, Mom, easy!

Ow.

Chen,

the Yunnan field-research data is part of your final grade,

so do a good job with it.

If you don't finish, it's fine to come back a few days late.

Also, your professor here has to remind you—

you young people love your fun.

Going out for a bit is fine,

but the work has to get done. Properly.

Cleaning the room.

Cleaning the room?

Isn't that supposed to be in the morning?

Our guesthouse isn't that strict.

I clean whenever I have a free minute.

And I painted in here this morning,

so I figured I'd come change the sheets in case I got the bed dirty.

Mom told me specifically

to look out for you a little extra,

to take good care of you.

Consider it my apology.

Whatever.

You always have a story.

Well then,

get on with it.

And about this reference—

you cited Smith 2018,

but Smith published a more recent one in 2020.

Have you read it?

Though the 2020 one ended up being pretty controversial.

You might want to reconsider.

And overall,

his viewpoint has certain limitations.

What I'm most afraid of is, after you cite him,

you'll bring up unnecessary disputes or doubts.

Then it's not worth the trouble.

Hey, what are you doing?

What a heavy gloomy aura.

Can't bear it. Can't bear it.

Turn it off, quick.

I'm trying to work.

What's the rush?

You just checked in today.

By the way—

do you know what the soul of Lijiang is?

What is it?

Beautiful scenery, of course.

And good liquor.

Oh.

Look at you.

Working morning to night.

Never going out for a stroll,

to take in the scenery.

Never having a drink.

Just stewing in your own bad mood all day long.

Is it worth it?

Only the layabouts who don't have to work or study

have time for scenery and liquor.

Uh.

Excuse me.

Weren't you here to clean the room? Why are you lying down?

There. All clean.

Oh. Then... what are you doing?

Painting again?

Is that... me?

Why are you painting me?

Because—

you're good-looking.

Who said you could paint me?

And besides, this is my room.

Once you're done cleaning, you should leave.

Here we go again.

How can you be mad all day long?

Lijiang is a place to relax.

Did you take a wrong turn somewhere, dude?

Okay, okay. I'll give you that one.

How does it look?

Let me see.

Hm.

Actually...

it's pretty good.

If you'd take your shirt off so I can paint you,

it'd come out even better.

Are you insane?

It's art.

Don't go getting any weird ideas.

Who's getting weird ideas?

Your mind's the dirty one.

Fine, my mind's dirty.

So could you please take your shirt off?

You—

Get away from me.

Get away from me, I said.

Are you harassing me again?

I'm telling your mom.

You sure you can stand to?

Stand to my ass.

Room's clean. Get out.

Here we go again.

Why do you blush so easily?

Let me see.

Now what?

See your ass.

Out, out, out, out.

You're insane.

Hey.

You sure you won't let me draw you?

I'll pay the model fee.

Get out, get out.

Out! Get out! You creep!

Lijiang folks are wild, huh.

Hey.

Gao Ran.

Gao Ran, come out for a drink.

Coming! You guys are early.

Right on time.

Hurry up.

Oh, everyone's here?

You came too?

Let's go, let's go.

Ah, young people.

So full of energy.

Oh ho.

White-Tee Lychee.

What did you just say?

Aww, all pale and tender.

Just like a lychee.

Beautiful once you peel it.

And the taste—

Mm.

even more juicy.

Don't talk crap.

Hey, get away from me.

You reek of liquor.

Hey.

What's your major anyway?

Why's your schedule so old-fashioned?

Lijiang's nightlife just hit its peak.

Now is when young people are supposed to be sleeping.

I study computer data engineering.

It has nothing to do with my major.

I just like going to bed early and getting up early.

Coming all the way to Lijiang—

and not going out for the nightlife or for drinks—

isn't the trip wasted?

I don't like that stuff. So what?

Cute is cute.

Just a little dim.

Hey.

I meant the lychee.

Keep talking trash—

and I'm filing a complaint.

Hey, threatening me again.

You win.

Hey.

That's my cup.

Give it back.

Hey.

Petty.

I just like your cup.

I just figured—

yours was too plain.

Lemme add some,

high-protein stuff.

Da da da da.

Da da da da.