All language subtitles for Maddies.Secret.2025.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-English

(upbeat music playing)

(birds chirping)

(pants)

- (car horn honking)
- (motorbike engine revving)

(indistinct chatter)

Vendor: You want salsa?

Vendor: (speaks indistinctly)

(speaks indistinctly)

(pants)

(sniffs)

(gasps)

- (pants)
- (indistinct chatter)

- Maddie: Ooh!
- Hey!

- Maddie: Sorry!
- What the hell?

Watch where you're going.

Pedestrian:
Like, what is she doing?

(Maddie pants)

(pants)

Madison Maddie Ralph!
You're late.

(chuckling) Would you hush,

and make sure
no one comes through that door?

- I'm half naked.
- (chuckling) I got you.

Thanks, Deena. (pants)

So, what's your excuse?
You sleep through your alarm,

your hubby have
some morning wood

that needed servicing?

- (laughs)
- (laughing) Oh, my God.

Deena, it's not even ten o'clock

and you're already
talking about sex.

Yeah, well, you were supposed
to be here at 09:00 a.m.

to help me prep ingredients
for Her Majesty's video.

So, yeah,
I'm a little hot and bothered.

Emphasis on "bothered."

I'm really, really sorry, Deena.

You know I'm never late,
but on my run over here,

I got totally distracted
by an idea

- for a new dish.
- (scoffs)

Maddie Ralph,
when will you learn

to stay in your place?
The only dishes that you need

to be thinking about
are the ones

- that need washing.
- (Maddie laughs)

Today, I'll be making
cacio e pe...

- (laughs)
- (laughs)

I guess we'll have
to take that again.

Kyle: All right,
everybody, settle.

I'll take my own action, Kyle,
in five, four...

Hi, everyone.

Welcome to the GourMaybe
Test Kitchen.

I'm Emily Brown,
but you know that.

And today, I'll be making
cacio e pepe balls.

So, this new dish idea of yours
must be pretty special

to make teacher's pet so tardy.

It's kind of my take
on the smash burger.

Vegetarian, of course.
It's a little Mexican,

- a little Filipino...
- Hmm.

- ...a little, well, me.
- Sounds amazing.

- Like, well, you.
- (chuckles)

When I was jogging over here,
Los Angeles was speaking to me.

The sun, the street vendors,

all the crazy stuff
going on right now

in graphic design.

And then I smelled the most
beautiful jasmine bush,

and it all came together.

And then what,
a bird landed on your shoulder,

and you sang together
in perfect harmony?

- (scoffs)
- I swear to God, Maddie,

it's like you're out
of some modern-day fairy tale.

You're perfect.

Trust me, Deena,
I'm anything but.

(scoffs)

(sings) ♪ Oh, smash me a burger
Between two soft buns ♪

- (vocalizes)
- (laughs)

Oh, my God.
Would you shut up?

Don't you have some balls
to handle, Emily?

What would you know
about balls, dyke?

(Zach groans)

Play nice.
We've got content to make.

- (cutlery clinking)
- (sighs)

Kyle: All right,
everybody, settle.

(humming softly)

Hey! I want this place sparkling
by tomorrow morning, okay?

- (sighs) Sir, yes, sir.
- Of course, Zach.

Emily, you leaving?

You want me
to walk you to your car?

Oops.

I somehow missed these.

- (Maddie sighs)
- (Emily laughs)

- Zach: What?
- Emily: You're hilarious.

- Zach: I know.
- (laid-back music playing)

(engine rumbling)

Deena: (imitates Emily)
"Would you two shut up?"

- (Maddie laughs)
- (Deena laughs)

(Maddie sighs)

I don't get it.
What does she have against me?

You're better looking
and you're better at cooking.

Deena, she may be a little mean
to me sometimes,

but Emily Brown
is a genius chef,

- and a total badass.
- (sighs) And you're a saint.

- Thanks for the ride, Deena.
- (chuckles)

- Oh, Deena, the door's stuck.
- (gasps) Oh, sorry.

- (car door lock clicking)
- There you go.

Thanks. (chuckles)

- Oh, sorry, sorry.
- It's still...

There it is.

- It's a little finicky.
- (chuckles)

- (car door opening)
- Good night.

- Good night.
- (laid-back music continues)

Hey, Maddie!

Don't you ever get tired
of being such a good girl?

- No. (chuckles)
- (chuckles)

(engine revving)

- (keys jingling)
- (door opening)

(grunting)
Thirteen... (exhales) ...14...

- Hi, Jake.
- (grunts, pants)

Hello, my beautiful wife.
How was work?

Emily chewed
my head off again.

- (groans)
- Have you eaten anything yet?

I had some candy and some chips.

That's not food, Jake.

- So, how did I eat it?
- You'll eat anything.

I'll eat
whatever's in front of me.

Maddie: (chuckles)
Can I make you some real food?

- After, after. Come here.
- (Maddie chuckles)

(Jake kisses)

Did we throw away
that mango pickle

- from the Indian we ordered?
- Jake: No.

And do we still have eggplant?

(chuckles)
You most certainly do.

- Very funny, Jake.
- (chuckles)

I need to go try something
in the kitchen.

- (breathes deeply)
- Jake: Sensual.

(gasps) What are you doing?

What does it look like
I'm doing?

(scoffs) Filming me
without my consent.

I'm not gonna post it,
but you could.

Jake.

Maddie, I'm hungry. What's next?

Well, I'm essentially making
a tortang talong,

which is one
of my favorite Filipino dishes.

It's kind of like
an eggplant omelet.

- This is so stupid.
- Jake: No, it's not.

You have no idea
how ravishing you look, Maddie.

- Likely story.
- Keep going.

(clicks tongue)

The key to maximum flavor,
like with the smash burger,

is, well...

smashing.

I'm just gonna dredge it
in some egg.

This dish does have

major breakfast sandwich-y
hangover vibes.

(both chuckle)

And then I'm gonna throw that
in a pan on medium high,

and almost baste it
in more of that egg mixture.

- (pan sizzling)
- Whenever I edit food content,

the clients always ask me
to make cuts

right after the loudest sounds.

Mm-hmm.

What's wrong, baby?

I just wanted to make my husband
some dinner,

and now, I'm in post-production.

(scoffs) I thought
this was your dream,

to be the vegetarian Nigella,
or the millennial Alice Waters.

I'm passionate about food, Jake,
not social media.

You have a gift, Maddie, okay?

And you should share it
with the world.

Do you wanna be
a dishwasher forever?

- (sighs)
- Do you want Emily to win?

I'll work my way up
to the kitchen like she did,

like all my heroes did.
This is cheating.

Well, I wanna fix
our roof, okay?

I wanna have a kid with you,

and be able
to put it through college.

Me too, Jake. You know that.

Then what is this really about?

I don't...

I don't like the way I look.

Are you kidding me?

That girl right there
is a knockout, Maddie, okay?

That girl right there
is beautiful.

If by beautiful,
you mean puffy, then yeah,

- I guess I'm beautiful.
- (scoffs)

- You sound like your mother.
- (pensive music playing)

- Fuck it.
- Since when do you curse?

- (upbeat music playing)
- I'll post it tonight.

- I'll post it right now.
- (mouse clicking)

Jake: That's my girl. Come here.

(laughing) No!

Six hundred thousand views.

- What do you mean?
- Six hundred thousand people

and a few bots shared the video
you posted last night.

(chuckling)
I... I don't believe you.

- You're crazy.
- (chuckles)

I'm not crazy.

That's a six
followed by five zeros.

(both laugh)

(sighs) Don't tell me
you didn't look.

I try to stay off that app.

Let me guess,
you don't have a TV either?

- (groans)
- Oh, my God, Maddie.

(chuckles) Jake said
the video was doing well,

- but not that well.
- What does Jake know?

A lot about editing, mind you.

And he knows all the tricks
to keep people in a stupor

on their phones. It's his job.

(sighs) It's not Jake's editing

people are
responding to, Maddie,

- it's you.
- It's the food.

The food that you cooked.

(chuckling)
Why won't you let yourself

be excited about this?

I guess
I just don't believe it yet.

Then you better start
believing it.

Six hundred thousand people
see what I see in you.

I told you I'm not crazy.

- (upbeat music playing)
- (chuckles)

- (indistinct chatter)
- (cutlery clinking)

Oh, my God.

(chuckles)

Emily: Well, well, well.

Looks like
our little dishwasher's

all grown up.

- Deena, am I in...
- Zach: Maddie Ralph!

- My office! Now!
- ...trouble?

When you were hired
at GourMaybe,

you signed a contract.
Do you remember that?

Uh, I... I think so.

Why don't you go ahead
and read some

of the highlighted clauses here?

- Page three, paragraph seven.
- Um...

"All staff are prohibited

from posting
original food-related content

to their personal
social media accounts

unless vetted by,
or in collaboration

with GourMaybe
Media Incorporated."

- But I'm just a dishwasher.
- Keep reading!

"Any recipe developed by staff
while employed at GourMaybe

is automatically owned
and copyrighted

by GourMaybe
Media Incorporated."

Take it. I don't care.
As long as I can keep my job.

Delete it
from your personal account

- immediately!
- Of course.

So that we can release it
as a GourMaybe digital original.

Okay. (chuckles)

I'm sure Emily will do
a great job with it.

(scoffs) No, Maddie.
We want you to be in the video.

- (upbeat music playing)
- What?

How would you like to be
a recipe developer

here at GourMaybe?

Attention! Ladies and gentlemen,

I'd like to announce
the newest GourMaybe chef,

and on-camera talent,
Maddie Ralph, right?

- Come on! (laughs)
- (staff applauding)

- Right? Can you believe it?
- (lively music playing)

(chuckles)

- Jake! (pants) Jake!
- Hey, baby, what's up?

They're bumping me up
to on-camera.

(grunts) What?

I'm gonna get
to make my own recipes

and share them with the world.

I'm gonna get a salary
and a big one at that.

- We can have a kid.
- I'm a GourMaybe girl.

(chuckles)
It goes like this, okay?

My girl, then GourMaybe girl.
Come here.

- (kisses, moans)
- (Maddie moans)

(chuckles) Um, I should...
I should probably call my mom,

- and tell her the good news.
- (sighs) Okay.

I'm gonna go take a shower.

Unless you want me there
for moral support.

No, no, no.
You go rinse off, sweetie.

- I'll be okay.
- Okay.

- I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you.

- Man. So cool.
- (door opening)

(door closing)

- (somber music playing)
- (dog barking in distance)

(sighs)

- Hey, Siri?
- Siri: (on cellphone) Uh-huh?

Call Mom.

(cellphone ringing)

(actress over TV) It wasn't the
normal feeling of intuition.

It was... something colder.

- (sighs)
- (indistinct chatter over TV)

(cellphone beeps)

Yeah.

Maddie: (over cellphone)
Hey, Mom. How you doing?

Is black mold real?

Maddie: I... I... I think so.

The landlord sent
these two boys over

with their little
detector thingies.

I think it's a racket.
I smoked them out anyway.

One of them kept staring
at my tits.

The other one
was shaking like a leaf.

Maddie: Uh-huh.

Well, um, in terms
of how I'm doing,

I just wanted to call

and tell you
some pretty exciting news.

Oh, golly gee,
what is it? (inhales)

Maddie: They're making me
a recipe developer

- at GourMaybe.
- (exhales)

I don't know what that means.

Maddie: Well,
it... it means I'll get

- a pretty big raise. (giggles)
- Oh, no fair.

Maddie: And they're gonna put me
in their digital originals,

- which are really
very popular.
- Oof. (exhales)

Maddie: What, Mom?

Beverlee: Oh, you know
what they say.

The camera adds ten pounds.

- (crickets chirping)
- (dog barking in distance)

You know
how many years it took me

to get over my disorder, Mother?

Please don't talk to me
like that.

Beverlee: (over phone)
I mean, these things

never really go away,
do they, dear?

I should probably go cook dinner
for Jake.

Beverlee: Aw, aren't you
lucky to have a man
around. (chuckles)

Goodbye, Mom. I love you.

Ah, this damn knee. (grunts)

(music concluding)

(water running)

- Jake: I'm hungry.
- (gasps)

I think we're out
of that small batch white miso.

Jake: I'll order us
some Fig and Mortar.

Get a bottle of natty wine.

We gotta celebrate
your promotion.

No, no, I'm happy to cook.

What'd she say this time?

She just...

She just couldn't be happy
for me, that's all.

Baby, come here, come here.

(kisses) Come here. (kisses)

(both kiss)

- (gasps, laughs)
- (laughs)

- (sensual music playing)
- (both chuckle)

(both kiss, moan,
breathe heavily)

(Maddie breathes heavily)

No.

(both breathe heavily,
moan, kiss)

- (breathes heavily, moans)
- (kisses)

(moans, breathes heavily)
Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

(moans, breathes heavily)
Fuck me, Jake. Fuck me, Jake.

(breathes heavily)

- (moans, breathes heavily)
- (grunts, breathes heavily)

God damn it, Maddie.
I'm close already.

- You want me to pull out?
- No. No!

(both breathe heavily, moan)

Oh, fuck.
Maddie! That's a good girl!

- (breathes heavily, moans)
- Jake: That's a good girl!

(breathes heavily)
You're perfect.

(both moan, breathe heavily)

Mm! Oh, my God. (chuckles)
The mango-Sriracha aioli. Mm.

And the crispy jasmine rice trio

adds just the right amount
of crunch.

And I don't miss
the meat. (chuckles)

- Feel good, Maddie?
- I think so. (chuckles)

Then that's a cut.

And that's a wrap on Maddie's
first GourMaybe video!

- Yeah! (laughs)
- (crowd applauding)

You're a natural, Maddie.
You tore, you ate.

- Oh, thanks, Kyle.
- (door slams open)

Oh, she ate all right.

Didn't your mother
ever teach you

not to speak
with your mouth full?

Jesus fucking Christ, Zach,

you need to order
some small aprons.

For me, at least.

Get me
to three million subscribers,

- and then we'll talk.
- (Emily scoffs)

So, you basically input
all your trauma,

and it links you up
with a therapist.

Chef:
And it's all over FaceTime?

I, like, don't even leave
my bed.

Chef: Does it help
with executive functioning?

(chuckles) One hundred percent.

Chef: Okay, you convinced me.
I'll get the app.

(breathes deeply)

(toilet flushing)

(hands smacking)

Huh. Holy fucking shit.
Maddie, you killed it.

- A star is born. (chuckles)
- Aw, thanks, Deena. (chuckles)

You didn't think I was awkward?

What? You were totally yourself,
unlike fake-ass Emily.

- Hey, it's not a competition.
- Deena: Oh, right, right.

Deena, can I ask you a question?

- Shoot.
- How do you get so toned?

(chuckles)
You've been checking me out?

- (chuckles) I'm just noticing.
- Deena: I'll tell you.

I go to this queer gym.
It's radically inclusive.

None of that
toxic gym bro stuff.

Actually, I'm going
to this crazy movement class

after work. Come with me.

And I would be allowed?
Just... some ally?

(chuckles) Trust me, Maddie.

Everyone there
would really like you.

(upbeat music playing)

(crowd cheering, laughing)

Hi.

(chuckles softly)

Hi! (chuckles)

- Hey, look who it is!
- Hey!

Hi. Everyone's so friendly here.

Why wouldn't they be?

We have a new friend
joining the class today.

Let's give Maddie
a big queer welcome.

(crowd cheering, applauding)

All right, let's hit it.
Five, six, seven, uh!

- All right, let's get moving.
- Dancer: Whoo!

- Come on, Maddie.
- But I don't know the moves.

- Your body does.
- Move those hips. Let's go.

Okay.

Nina: Hip, hip, hip, hip.
Let's go, let's go.

Roll shoulders, roll shoulders.
And back, and back.

And right, and left.
And let's go faster.

And right, left, right.
Let's pump that chest.

Chest, chest, chest.
Double time. Uh, uh!

Show me what you got!
Show me what you got!

Show me, show me,
show me what you got!

- (crowd cheering)
- Nina: Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Mm! Oh, my God!

Aw, look at that stretch!

Mm!

(chuckles)

(gasps) No! (chuckles)

(squeals)

Oh, my God! (gasps)
No! Oh, my God!

I swear by this.

This is amazing!
I love Fly By Jing.

(indistinct chatter)

(sighs)

Jake! Oh, my God!

I feel so bad.
I've never done this.

- Deena: Maddie!
- Clubber: Why did she get to...

(chuckles)
It's a friend of mine.

- (gentle music playing)
- (indistinct chatter)

- What the hell?
- Everything okay, Kyle?

I lightly dented
some camera equipment,

and they deducted
the repair cost

from my paycheck.

They can't do that.
Let me take it up with Zach.

Wow. Thanks, Maddie.

Emily: (chuckles)
Oh, come on, Zach.

She's such a try-hard
Suzy Homemaker.

What can I say?

- The unwashed masses love her.
- (groans)

Zach: Her first video got
1.5 million views,

and it got written up
by Here We Go magazine.

(scoffs) Yeah, but did you read
the comments?

"Go easy on the aioli, Maddie."
"Maddie the Fatty."

- (laughs)
- (Zach laughs)

God, you're such
a fucking bitch.

I love it.

- It makes me so fucking hard.
- (chuckles)

- (Emily moans)
- (gasps)

- (moans)
- No.

- (pensive music playing)
- (Emily moans)

(pants)

(somber music playing)

Jake?

Jake?

(wind howling)

(Maddie breathes heavily)

(munches,
breathes heavily, moans)

(gulps, exhales)

(swallows, gulps)

- (door opening, closing)
- (gasps, breathes heavily)

(footsteps approaching)

(refrigerator door opening)

- (stomach gurgling)
- (gasps)

(refrigerator door closing)

(upbeat music
playing over headphones)

- (stomach gurgling)
- (breathes heavily)

(faucet running)

(inhales deeply)

(exhales softly)

- (footsteps receding)
- (breathes deeply)

(door opening, closing)

(dramatic music playing)

(Maddie breathes heavily)

- (light switch clicking)
- (stomach gurgling)

(door closing)

- Maddie, are you okay?
- Not much.

I didn't know you were home.

Did you puke?

I'm pregnant.

(chuckles)

What?

- (upbeat music playing)
- (whimpers)

Now, ideally, you're going
for a Gruyere,

a Fontina, a Taleggio,

but in a pinch, you could use
Monterey Jack,

- Colby Jack, Pepper Jack...
- (door slams open)

We'll hold, I guess.

And this is Emily.
She put GourMaybe on the map.

Emily: It's really nice
to meet you guys.

I'm, um, a huge fan
of the show.

What are you making?

Emily: So, these are
crispy potato skins

with a Cool Ranch Labneh dip.

Yeah, we're doing a series
on elevated game day snacks.

- Chelsea: Do you mind?
- Go for it.

(munches) It's fun.

You certainly don't skimp
on flavor.

Zach: No, she doesn't.

As someone who actually watches
a lot of sports,

this assignment
came easily to me.

And a guy's girl. I love it.

(munches)

(sighs) Psst.

You sure
you wanna be caught talking

- to some lowly dishwasher?
- Deena! Who are those people?

Oh, the executive producers
of The Boar.

I just watched
this talk they gave
at South By on YouTube.

- They are total geniuses.
- It's effervescent.

The Boar?

You gotta be kidding me, Maddie.

No, I'm not kidding you, Deena,
and you better tell me fast

because they're coming over here
right now.

Oh, The Boar is
about a restaurant,

but really,
it's about so much more.

It's also the hottest show
on TV right now.

Oh, that's right.
You don't have a TV.

Zach: And this is Maddie,
our newest chef,

but already gaining
quite a following.

Hi. (chuckles)

Dan: And what do we have here?

This is a Rotel dip,
but made with French techniques.

How is that possible?

Well, instead of using Velveeta,
I start with the béchamel,

and slowly incorporate
quality cheeses.

(munches) Damn. She's good.

And her dip's good too.

(slurps)

What the hell was that?

Oh, sorry, Maddie,
what the "heck" was that?

Sit down. Let me explain.

The Boar is looking to hire
their new culinary producer

for their sixth season.

And Disney wants FX
to pull somebody

from the Condé Nast talent pool.

Culinary producer?

They need a new chef
to make a real menu

for the fake restaurant
on the show.

But they need somebody
with a vision.

Somebody that's a star.

They're gonna document
the whole thing with BTS content

and pair that with each episode.

But it's gonna be
very highbrow, cinematic AF,

chef's table.
So, you know, be camera ready.

So, it's down to us?

Yeah, what about all the other
amazing chefs here?

- Zach: I submitted you two...
- (grunts)

...'cause you're
the two biggest stars I got.

And admittedly...

I like to watch you two
go at it.

(clears throat)

(dramatic music playing)

- (door opening)
- (somber music playing)

Someone's got
a little baby bump.

- What?
- (chuckles)

You're just a little fuller
in the tummy.

It's beautiful.

(kisses)

Hey, I was thinking
we could pig out

on something stanky tonight,
like Thai street food,

and that new place
from Frogtown.

(breathes deeply)

We haven't really
celebrated yet, you know?

- (kisses)
- Hmm.

- (cutlery clinking)
- (indistinct chatter)

Maddie, we'll be honest,
we're very excited about you.

You have quite a few fans
over here at The Boar.

We know
you're just starting out,

but your food already has
a real identity.

It's both youthful and timeless.

It's full of verve,
but never pretentious.

It sends a message,
and it tastes fucking good.

Thank you, guys.
That... That really means a lot.

We wanna know what your vision
for season six would be.

Put together a presentation
of sorts,

but take that
to mean whatever you want.

Cook for us, take us out,
make a short film, a painting.

We don't care.

The important thing is
to tell a story.

- (chuckles)
- What?

It's just that
ever since I was a little girl,

I always felt like cooking was
a form of storytelling.

- You're speaking our language.
- Cool.

Sorry to interrupt
the circle jerk,

but did you guys get any word
from Disney on Maddie's chances?

Well, they are
a little concerned

- about her... stats.
- What do you mean?

Your socials are weak.

We need to beef up your presence
in the digital sphere.

You have
some fierce competition.

That's one word for her.
I... I... I mean, "it."

(pensive music playing)

- (upbeat music playing)
- Nina: Strong! Power!

Confidence! Let's go!

- Let's freestyle now.
- What?

Nina: Step, step, hit and hit!

Step, step, hit and hit!

Your personality comes out here!

Yeah, pump it, pump it.

- You like that?
- Yeah, yeah.

And pump, pump. Let's go! Pump!

Pump, pump!
And whack it, and whack it!

- Come on, Maddie, you baddie!
- Sorry.

- Thank you guys so much!
- (all cheering, applauding)

- Y'all hot right now?
- (all laughing)

Maddie, remember,
it's not about getting it right,

or being the best in class
all the time, girl.

It's about letting the groove
move through your body,

going with the flow,
and having fun.

Groove and flow, got it. (pants)

- You forgot fun, mama.
- (chuckles)

Maddie, have you watched
The Boar yet?

- Maddie: No.
- You can use my Hulu login.

I don't care
if you know my password.

Maddie: I haven't yet.

I feel like I was just getting
my bearings at GourMaybe,

and now I'm supposed
to fight like hell

to be some food stylist
on a TV show?

Oh, my God.

Maddie, what they're doing
over there

is so much more
than just food styling.

Totally. It all sounds
so elevated and cool.

I guess I just don't wanna get
my hopes up.

Oh, you'll understand it
once you watch it.

- Maddie: Uh-huh.
- We could binge it together.

Aw, thanks,
but Jake would kill me

if I didn't watch it with him.
He loves The Boar.

Oh, right. Jake.

- (pensive music playing)
- (door slams open)

- Deena, are you okay?
- God.

You know, Maddie,
since your promotion,

it's like you don't have time
for me anymore.

Like, you forgot about
all the little people.

Deena... (scoffs)
...I didn't choose

- any of this.
- (scoffs)

Maddie: I feel
so out of control.

Uh, it's all just happening
to me.

Uh-huh. Sure about that?

- What are you trying to say?
- It's funny.

I really thought
we were best friends,

but I guess you always saw me
as more of a coworker,

- an occupational hazard.
- Of course we're friends.

Deena, aren't you gonna
give me a ride?

We always carpool
after dance class.

- (engine revving)
- Deena: Yeah.

Do you mind catching a lift?
You're kinda out of the way.

- (engine revving)
- (gasps)

- (screams, breathes heavily)
- Hey, hey, hey.

It's just me.

Jake, that was scary.
What are you doing?

I know. I'm sorry.
I have a surprise for you.

- Come on.
- Okay.

(breathes heavily)

I got you.

Look.

A buddy of mine from Middlebury

makes these really dope replicas
of Amish furniture.

He made this for his kid
and they don't need it anymore.

Isn't it beautiful?

It's... It's a little early.

I'm sorry.
I guess I'm just excited.

Am I the only one here that is?

Maddie: Of course
I'm excited, Jake,

but people normally wait
to get to the first trimester

before they start making
these kinds of decisions.

It could so easily go wrong,
you know?

Jake: Why would you say that?

- What is that?
- (sighs)

I was gonna tell you.
Your mom signed us up

for this monthly
frozen meat thing.

- That bitch. (breathes shakily)
- I'll eat it, okay?

Throw the steaks away
right now, Jake.

But... (grunts)
...you're so passionate

about reducing
food waste, Maddie.

(breathes heavily)
I don't eat meat!

Hi, guys. It's Maddie Ralph here

in the sunny
GourMaybe Test Kitchen.

Today, I am determined
to prove to you

how much caramelization
you can get out of tofu.

- Now, when people...
- (indistinct chatter)

Kyle: Take your time.

Kyle, why don't we, um,
start over?

Okay, can everyone
please keep their work

to a low hum?

Maddie: Yeah, Kyle, it's fine.
We'll just take it again.

Oh, my God,
I'm so fucking stupid.

No, you're fine, Kyle.

Were we being too loud
for you, Maddie?

No, I actually wanted
to redo my intro anyway,

so... (inhales deeply)
Hi, I'm Maddie.

- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, I know who you are.

My friends and I are obsessed
with your recipes.

I'm Erin.
I'm the new you, I guess.

Or the old you?

- (laughs)
- (Erin laughs)

Hi, Erin,
thank you for your kind words.

Dishwashing can be
thankless sometimes,

but remember that this company
could not exist without you.

I would know.

Erin: Thanks, Maddie. (chuckles)

- I think we should...
- Sorry to overshare.

- What's up?
- Erin: But...

I used to have
a really disordered relationship

to food. I mean, who doesn't?

Totally.

And I just have to say
it's really fucking refreshing

to see a woman
with an actually healthy body

making food content right now.

What do you mean by "healthy"?

You know, healthy, normal.
Like, not scary thin.

- It's badass.
- (chuckles)

(pot sizzling)

Kyle, can we take lunch now?
I'll finish this later.

- Okay.
- (pensive music playing)

(breathes heavily)

- (spits)
- What's the matter?

Zach's spunk taste weird?

- I wouldn't know.
- What's that supposed to mean?

(door closing)

- (cutlery clinking)
- (indistinct chatter)

- (sighs)
- Emily! You want a ride?

No.

Hey, Erin, I've got those.
You go home.

What? I... I could never let you
wash these.

To be honest,
I... I kind of miss it.

If you say so. (chuckles)

(sponge scraping)

- Deena...
- (door closing)

...I don't know
what I did wrong,

but I could really use
a best friend right now.

Best friends don't keep secrets.

What?

You're hiding things from me.

It's hurting you,

and it's making me look
like a fool.

- Fuck! (breathes heavily)
- Maddie: Deena, I promise

I'm not hiding anything
from you.

I just really, really need
your help.

My presentation for The Boar
is in three weeks,

and I swear to God,

it's like I can't even remember
what I... like about food.

- Maddie.
- Just come over this weekend,

and let's cook together
like the old days.

- (exhales)
- You can be my sous.

- (sighs) Yes, chef.
- (chuckles)

- (upbeat music playing)
- (laughing) Oh, my God, Deena!

- Deena! (laughs) Stop!
- (laughs)

(speaks indistinctly)

(timer ringing)

- More time.
- (timer dinging)

(chuckles)

- How's it looking?
- (chuckles)

- Oh! (chuckles)
- (gasps)

(chuckling,
speaking indistinctly)

- Deena: Mm!
- Oh, my God! (chuckles)

God, you know
I don't like to throw

this word around, Maddie,
but you really are a genius.

The Boar would be lucky
to have you.

It was pretty good, wasn't it?

- (groans) Oh.
- (chuckles)

- Oh, shit.
- Who is it?

This married chick I'm banging.
I'm driving her crazy.

Do you mind if I take this
on your porch?

(both chuckle)

You really are
something else, Deena.

Hey, baby, what's wrong?

(door opening, closing)

(dramatic music playing)

But I don't like stealing away
for a measly taste.

I want all of you.

(Deena's lover sighs on call)

I want that too.
It's just I'm married.

- You're driving me crazy.
- How about a weekend in Ojai?

You, me, natural wine, my strap.

Deena's girlfriend: Fuck.

Why don't we talk about this
in-person?

- Deena's girlfriend: Deena...
- I can swing by tonight.

Deena's girlfriend: You know
exactly what will happen.

I'm free at 09:00 a.m.

Deena's girlfriend:
But what about my schedule?

- What's going on in here?
- (gasps, breathes heavily)

I think I have food poisoning.

Maddie, I know you,
and I know when you're lying.

- Deena, I'm not lying.
- And you know me,

and you know
I hate being lied to.

- (sobs)
- Hey, hey.

- It's okay, I'm here.
- (breathes shakily)

I had stuff around food
when I was younger,

and it's coming up again.

I'm gonna get it under control.

Just please,
please don't anyone, okay?

- Oh, Maddie.
- (breathes deeply)

Oh, Maddie,
your secret is safe with me.

(Maddie sniffles)

(gulps) I should
probably brush my teeth.

Yeah.

You know
they make a tool for that,

where you can get
the little timelines off

in about five seconds.

- (chuckles)
- Of course they do.

(chuckles)

So, Maddie, I'm dying to know
what's on the menu

for season six of The Boar.

Uh, let's talk about it
later, Kyle.

Oh, come on, Maddie.
I'll say what I'm doing.

It's good sportsmanship.

Okay, um,
I'm hosting the producers

at me and Jake's,
and I'm cooking from the heart.

I'm hoping to push the show
in a more Veggie Four direction.

- Period.
- What about you, Emily?

I'm taking them to my favorite
hole-in-the-wall spots in K-Town

for a tour of the best
Korean bar food in L.A.

- So cool, so Emily.
- (scoffs) It's whatever.

Time to beef up
those socials, baby.

We are live.

Hi, guys. It's Maddie,

here to try
the viral Chile Relleno Burrito

that Boyle Heights residents
swear by.

And get this,
it's served out of a car wash.

Here I go.

(munches) Mm. Mm.

Oh, my God.

Mm.

(pensive music playing)

(somber music playing)

(Nina speaks indistinctly)

Shoulder, shoulder.
Nice. Shoulder.

And other side. Good. Plie.

Arms. Six, seven, eight.

Arm. And here.
Drama. Let's go. Good.

Shoulder, shoulder, look.
Walk around yourselves.

(breathes deeply)

- (upbeat music playing)
- One, two, three, four.

Shoulder, shoulder,
shoulder, and melt.

Ooh, nice.

And up, and down,
and up, let's go. And back.

Up. Look up. One, two.
You know this.

Five, six, seven, eight.
Turn one. Nice.

Six, seven, you go.
Nice. Coming forward.

Seven, and one,
two, three, five.

Your turn.

And one, two, three,
four, five, six.

Arm up. Arm, arm.
Five, six, seven, up, eight.

One, two, down, up.

Hold it, one.

Five, nice. Nice.

Pump it out. Pump, pump.

More pelvis, Maddie.
Less up here.

- (breathes heavily)
- Seven, eight.

One, two, three.
Nice. Five, six, seven.

Shoulder on, and on,
and out, and out, and boom.

This way. To the side.
And front, and front, and side.

Around, and walk, and walk,
and walk, and walk, and walk.

Give me heads.
Five, six, seven, eight.

- Disperse!
- (both pant)

Two weeks
from the big presentation.

- Don't remind me.
- (groans)

Come on,
you've got this in the bag.

Plus, Emily's whole approach
seems totally half-assed to me.

I don't know,
I think it sounds like

impossibly cool,
effortless Emily.

And once again, I look like
the try-hard Susie Homemaker.

- You care. It's cool.
- It's pathetic.

Five. And snap,
and snap, and push.

And go. And go to the pose.
And pose. And pose.

- What's happening, Maddie?
- I'm... (grunts)

Take a break.
Here we go. Five, six...

(breathes heavily)

Deena: You okay, Maddie?

Yeah, I'm just...
I'm just a little lightheaded.

Did you eat anything
before class?

- Yeah, but... (pants)
- Oh, right, right.

Nina: Four, five,
get ready, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, and four.
Come forward, come forward.

- Sit this one out, mama.
- No.

Nina: One, two. Let's go.

Three, four. Keep going.

And kick. One, two, three,
and four, five.

Come on, come on, forward.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Let's go. Continue.
Five, six. Five, six.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three.
You gotta move, mama.

- Seven, eight...
- (breathes heavily)

Nina: Five, six, seven, eight.

- You okay?
- Nina: One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, let's go.
And one, two, three.

And arms. Up.

- (breathes heavily)
- Nina: Let's go.

Finish it.
Let's go, Maddie. (grunts)

We know this.
And five, six, seven, eight.

- One, two, three, four.
- (breathes heavily)

Seven, eight. Three, and hands.

(music drowns out
Nina's instructions)

Okay.

(music drowns out
Nina's instructions)

Let's go.
And circle, and circle.

Reach, and reach, and reach, go.
Five, six, seven.

Disperse! Continue, six, seven.

- (breathes heavily)
- Maddie!

- (heartbeat thumping)
- (muffled) And walk, and walk.

Maddie?

(defibrillator powering up)

(ventilator beeping)

Jake: (pants) Maddie, baby,
what happened?

- (breathes heavily)
- Cardiac arrest.

Oh, my God.

Is... Is everything okay
with the baby?

Would you two mind stepping out
for a moment?

I need to speak
to Maddie privately.

(sighs) I...

Okay. Um, Maddie,
I'll be right back, okay?

Don't worry.

(sighs)

Maddie, are you bulimic?

(door closing)

Is that the one where you...

don't eat food,
or you do eat food, but then...

You're far too young
for cardiac arrest.

Your potassium levels
are alarmingly low.

You have a swollen jaw,
bleeding gums,

and... teeth marks
on your knuckles.

Well, frankly,
it's none of your business.

Nurse: Maddie,
this is Dr. Kronenfeld.

He's a psychiatrist

who specializes
in eating disorders.

Nice to meet you, Maddie.

Lovely to meet you,
Dr. Kronenfeld,

but I'm actually
on my way out, so...

Maddie, you could have
died today

had the paramedics
not shown up on time.

Any more exercise
and you're at risk of SCD,

Sudden Cardiac Death.

Any more vomiting,

and you're at risk
of rupturing your stomach,

- or your esophagus.
- I'll get it under control.

I did it before,
and I'll do it again.

You relapsed before,
and you'll relapse again.

I strongly advise
that you undergo

the eating disorder
in-patient program

that I run
out of Presbyterian Hospital.

For how long?

Dr. Kronenfeld:
At least six weeks.

But I have the most important
work event of my life in two.

Hmm. What is it you do?

I... I'm a recipe developer
at GourMaybe.

Dr. Kronenfeld: Maddie...

I don't think I need to explain

why returning to your job
right now

would be uniquely high risk.

(indistinct chatter)

(telephone ringing in distance)

(nurse speaking indistinctly
over PA)

(softly chuckles) They're
letting you go home early?

Dr. Kronenfeld: Maddie's
admitting herself...

I'm not coming home right now.

They are taking me

to an inpatient
treatment program.

(scoffs) For what?

Jake...

I suffer from bulimia nervosa.

What?

(voice breaking)
I throw up my food, Jake. (sobs)

I need you to go home
and pack me a bag.

(poignant music playing)

Why didn't you tell me?

Because you thought
I was perfect.

Hammond: And what room
do we have assigned for Maddie?

Shawna: Mm... (smacking lips)

I'm having trouble
making it out. Uh...

Hammond: Well, honey, why
aren't you wearing your glasses?

They're so tight
across the bridge of my nose.

(music concludes)

Okay, we have her
in room 17 with Julie.

They're just moving out
the last of Catherine's stuff.

That is such a sad thing.

Right, right. Thank you, Shawna.

(elevator bell dings)

(indistinct shouting)

Patient: No! No!

Connie: Get your hands off her,
damn it!

(indistinct shouting continues)

Oh, Lord, these three.

What?

It's that girl from the videos.

How do they know you?

I'm a chef.

The GourMaybe girl
has an eating disorder?

What a fucking shocker!

(girls laughing hysterically)

Here's your room.

I need to confiscate your phone.

Why?

We can't have y'all
on social media.

Bathing suits, cooking videos.
You get it.

You can use the landline
whenever you want, though.

And you're welcome to decorate
your side of the room

like your roommate did.

This program is
for adults, right?

Mm-hmm.

Is today the day that I get
to meet my new roomie? (gasps)

Oh, my God.

You're the most beautiful girl
I've ever seen.

Thank you. (giggles)

- I'm Maddie.
- I'm Julie.

I have a feeling
we're going to be fast friends.

Hammond: Now, Maddie,
you have to help me

keep an eye on her.

This one likes to exercise
when no one's looking.

Exercise is strictly forbidden
while in treatment.

Especially if you have
a weak heart like me.

Okay I can't hold it in anymore.

If you need to use the bathroom,
ask someone on the staff

and we'll come
and unlock it for you.

- (keys jingling)
- (door opening)

(Julie singing)

And you have to sing
at the top of your lungs

- while you're in there.
- Why?

How else we gonna know
you not puking?

(Julie continues singing)

If they want us to eat so bad,
why is the food gray?

You don't like mashed potatoes?
(chuckles) They're my favorite.

When we get out of here, Julie,

I'm gonna make you
potato gratin.

(gasps) I don't know
what that is.

Brittany: Hey, Julie.

Your crush is coming over.

Yeah, you should finally
make your move.

I told you guys,
I'm not ready yet.

I want the timing to be perfect.

Hi, ladies.

- Hi, Nurse Kelly.
- Hi.

Hi, Nurse Kelly.

Maddie, how are you settling in?

Um, I don't eat meat.

- Uh-huh.
- No, no, really.

I told the doctors in my intake.

Why don't you eat meat, Maddie?

Um, ethical reasons.

Why not just go all the way

- and be vegan?
- (laughs)

I'll look into
a vegetarian option shortly.

No one leaves the dining room
until their plates are clean.

We've also instated
nightly inspections

of your rooms because
of the pudding cups we found

in Brittany's trash
this morning.

I like your shirt, Nurse Kelly.

Thank you, Julie.
It's Paul Smith.

I got it online.

(group laughs)

What's so funny?

Kelly:
♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪

- Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.
- Connie: It's okay, Amanda.

Kelly:
♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪

What's going on?

On your birthday,
they get you a cupcake.

Crowd:
♪ Happy birthday, dear Amanda ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Thank you, guys.

Can I do half?

You gotta do
the whole thing, baby.

(breathes heavily)

(cries)

(blowing candles)

- (soft piano playing)
- (dial tone ringing)

- Jake: Hello?
- Hi, Jake.

Jake: Are you okay?

Um...

I'm a little scared.

- You?
- Jake: Um... I'm confused.

I know.

Hey, I heard
they grant special privileges

based on your improvement.

Maybe they'll let me out
for The Boar.

Jake: Maddie, I just want you
and the baby to be healthy.

Me too.

Hey, I should go to bed.

Apparently they wake us up
really early here.

Jake:
I love you so much, Maddie.

I love you, too.

(telephone beeps)

- (chuckles softly) Is he nice?
- (music concludes)

Very.

Like Nurse Kelly.

Maybe we can all go
on a double date sometime.

- I would love that, Julie.
- Oh.

- Who would like to start?
- (clock ticking)

Okay.

Well...

I would love to hear from Maddie

about how her first week
of treatment is going.

(smacks lips)

Um...

it's been pretty good.

So... So, yeah.

I'm surprised to hear that.

When I met you in the hospital,
you seemed determined

to figure it out on your own.

And yet, ultimately,
you agreed to come here.

Why is that, Maddie?

(chuckles) I...

I know I was
a little resistant at first,

but the staff here
has been so wonderful,

and the other women
so inspiring.

(snickers)

You didn't answer my question.

Why did you agree
to come here, Maddie?

Well, you made it seem
like I was going to,

um, die. (chuckles softly)

So you want to live?

(chuckles) Of course
I want to live.

Look, when I...

purge, uh...

it's just a compulsive
stress response

from when I was younger,

and I've been experiencing
a lot of stress at work.

I sincerely don't have
some sort of

tortured relationship to food.

In fact, I'm quite
passionate about food.

Well, Maddie,
I think that's beautiful.

Oh, my God,
I'm so sorry. (laughs)

I always do that. (laughs)

I think you have an extremely
tortured relationship

- with food, Maddie.
- Well, Connie,

- we just met, so...
- (snapping fingers)

I think it just got sublimated
into a career.

(scoffs)

Connie: Like the little boy
that cut the tails off of dogs

and grew up to become a surgeon.

The question is,

why are you so tortured
about food?

If it were really just
about losing weight,

you could go on Ozempic
or starve yourself, like me.

But there's something else,
isn't there?

Something you're
running away from.

When I was a little girl,
it was all those gymnasts on TV

that drove me to it.

With their slicked-back ponies,
not one hair out of place.

But now
it's girls like you, Maddie.

The no-makeup makeup look.

The hair falling
in your face just so.

But I think those pesky
little flyaways

are trying to tell us something.

I think you actually want
to lose control, Maddie.

Those are your fingers
down your throat, after all.

Yours.

(pensive music playing)

Dr. Kronenfeld:
Her passion for food

has an almost
moral sheen to it.

It's possible that to her,
at some level,

the bulimia
is an extension of that purity.

(bites) A saint-like sacrifice
that Maddie makes for all of us.

A correction for the excesses
of our culture.

Or Maddie the chef
is the good girl

and Maddie the bulimic
is the bad girl,

having some sort
of delayed adolescence.

Sounds like you should talk
to the mom.

I've tried,
but Maddie absolutely refuses

to do a session with her.

It's actually refreshing
to see a crack

in the veneer
of her usual agreeability.

Well, at least she has
some kind of respect
for the rules around here.

I'll take Sandra Dee

over the goddamn pink ladies
any day of the week.

(all laugh)

I did not throw up my dinner!

Why was your blood pressure
so low this morning, Brittany?

You heard me singing
in the bathroom!

Sure, and I smelled what was
under your bed this morning.

- I know your tricks.
- (sighs) Fuck off!

Your turn, Amanda.

Amanda: How do you expect us
to stop obsessing

over our weight when
you weigh us every morning?

Do you have
a Bachelor of Science, Amanda?

Or do I?

I forget.

What was it like
when he had his arms

- wrapped around you?
- (both laugh)

Guys, please.

Brittany: No, no, no.
We're not being mean.

- Brittany: I get it. He's hot.
- Connie: He's hot.

- Brittany: He's hot.
- Connie: He's hot.

Brittany: He's really kind.

He's so in touch with his,
like, femininity.

- Feminine side. (laughs)
- Yeah.

- Hammond: Good morning, ladies.
- Don't listen to them, okay?

Hammond: We have a new patient
joining us today.

Everybody, say hi to Deena.

Patients: Hi, Deena.

(quirky music playing)

They totally bought it, Maddie.

- Bought what?
- My whole

eating disorder sob story.

Took a fistful of beta blockers
that lower my heart rate.

Ooh, and I learned
that bulimics,

their teeth get
all fucked-up and discolored

- from the stomach acid.
- Uh-huh.

So this chick that I used to
bang out in the valley, right?

She does makeup for film and TV.

I had to dye my teeth brown.
She fucking killed it. Look.

(music concludes)

Hi, Maddie. Hi, Deena.
How's your first day going?

Oh, man.
Are those mashed potatoes?

Yeah, they're my favorite.

Those totally trigger
my food stuff.

I might launch
into binge mode 3,000.

Do you mind
sitting somewhere else?

- Oh. Okay.
- (both chuckle)

(scoffs)

Okay.

But why did you come here?

Couldn't let you go
through this alone.

I got you.

Deena, I can't miss
that presentation.

(chuckles softly)
There's my girl.

I have a whole plan,
but I need your help.

Anything. Anything at all.

Well, aren't you
two getting along famously?

It's like I've known her
forever and ever.

(whispers) But first we have to
get the staff off our backs.

I obviously don't want
to jeopardize his job,

so I'm going to wait until
after I leave treatment

to tell him about my feelings.

We're talking about
the same Nurse Kelly, right?

Yep. The one
with the beautiful eyelashes.

(knocking on door)

Connie and Amanda's room. Now.

- (group groaning)
- Amanda: Ew, ew, ew.

See, that's the same face
they make in porn now.

How'd you get the phone?

Amanda swiped it
from Nurse Hammond's coat

she left on the back
of the chair.

I have a whole stealing thing.
I'm gonna put it back.

Kelly: You all came
to Dr. Kronenfeld's program

because your lives
had gotten out of control.

And the rules
that we enforce here

are to give that control
back to you.

They're for your safety.

So when I receive word

that there are people
disrespecting those rules,

it breaks my heart.

Nurse Hammond?

Who took my phone?

It was my idea.

I acted alone,

and I'm sorry
if I caused anyone any harm.

I can't let Connie do that.

Um, it may have been her idea,

but I was the one
that took the actual phone.

And I apologize
to the community.

I was with Amanda
when she took the phone.

(clears throat)
I could have stopped her

and instead I egged her on and,
yeah, I'm sorry.

We asked you to come forward
and tell the truth.

And Connie,
you said you acted alone,

which we now know is a lie.

I was taking the fall
for my friend.

Connie, I have the stick.

Nurse Hammond and I
have no choice

but to enforce a curfew.

- (Brittany groaning)
- Kelly: You'll regain

your evening privileges
once we can get a handle

on what the hell
is happening in our community.

Yes, Maddie.

I'm not quite sure
what's going on here

at Presbyterian Hospital
either.

All I can really do
is look at my own part

in this larger erosion
of trust.

I'll admit it. (chuckling)

I've been going
through the motions here,

doing the bare minimum
just to make it look

like I was getting better.
But...

if we want things
to change around here,

we have to show up,
not just for ourselves,

but for each other.

Today...

I'm recommitting
to recovery, but...

I can't do it alone.

Who's with me?

Nice.

(indistinct chatter)

Awesome, guys. (chuckles) Cool.

Deena: Good night, Nurse Kelly.
Good night, Nurse Hammond.

Hammond: Good night, Deena.

We really appreciate you
and Maddie coming forward

about my phone.

We'll come back and check
on you in the morning.

(door closing)

(door knocking, opening)

Kelly: Hi, Brittany.
Everyone settled in here?

Brittany: Snuggled in like
fucking animals at the zoo!

I see that integrity
isn't rewarded here.

I see that dignity
isn't rewarded here.

- Hammond: Brittany.
- Brittany: I mean,

this is a fucking
surveillance state, man.

Once you get
out of here, Brittany,

- you can make your own rules.
- (upbeat music playing)

Other than that,
stay in the room.

I'm like over it. I'm over it
at this point with her.

- It's too much.
- Hammond: Those three bitches.

What's up, Shawna?

Deena, you're supposed
to be in your room.

You know what's
been really bugging me?

You're such a fox,

but these glasses are totally
the wrong shape for your face.

Oh. Well,
they are a little tight

- across the bridge of my nose.
- Let me see.

Deena: (groaning) Oh, yeah.
This is an easy fix.

I have a glasses repair kit
in my room.

- Deena, I can't see.
- Damn, Shawna.

You should really
consider contacts.

You would clean up in my world.

Julie: Maddie.

Where are you going?

I have to do something.
I'll be back in the morning.

But it's against the rules.

I know. Look, I wouldn't do this
if it weren't really important.

You have to promise not
to tell anyone, okay?

I don't like this, Maddie.

Julie, you're not supposed
to exercise.

(grunts) So you can
break the rules, but I can't?

- Six, seven, eight...
- (door closing)

...nine, ten.

- Shawna: Hey! Who is that?
- (music concludes)

Shawna: It's past curfew.

Nurse Hammond!

Maddie: It's Beverlee
from Oncology.

Got off
on the wrong floor again.

Been working nights, you know.

- Beverlee from Oncology.
- (thrilling music playing)

Hmm.

Nurse Hammond.

She said she was
from the Oncology unit.

Hammond: God damn it, Shawna!
There is no Oncology unit.

- Maddie!
- (siren wailing)

Pop it...

(rapping indistinctly)

- Hammond: Maddie!
- (feet stomping)

(screams)

Oh, fuck!

Yes!

- Hey.
- Hey.

- I've missed you so much.
- I've missed you, too.

The doctors must feel really
good about your progress

to let you do this tonight.

- Maybe you can come home soon.
- Yeah, for sure.

How's our little boy
or girl or whatever?

(gasps) Sorry.
(chuckles nervously)

Sorry, I'm just nervous
about tonight, that's all.

We should probably get going.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I got everything on the list.

Hopefully I didn't screw it up.

(pants)

(car engine revving)

- (doorbell ringing)
- (laid-back music playing)

Jake: Hi, come in.
Come in. I'm Jake.

I'm Dan. This is Chelsea.

- Hi.
- Jake: Nice to meet you.

A late-night meal
from Maddie Ralph.

Am I dreaming?

- Late-night and home-cooked.
- (door closing)

- It's bold. It's personal.
- Like your show.

I should just probably get out
in front of this

before I embarrass myself,

but I'm a huge fan of The Boar.

Hey, we are too.

(chuckles)
It's not as cocky as it sounds.

All we do is
give those guys the freedom

to do whatever they want.

Jake: It certainly pays off.

Can I interest you guys

in some orange wine
from Georgia?

And that's not the state,
that's the country.

We know.
And sure, that sounds great.

Coming right up.

- And how's it going in here?
- Where's my Fly By Jing?

- I don't know what that is.
- (sighs)

It's a brand of Chili Crisp,
woman-owned.

There was some right here
on the shelf before I, um...

Hey, hey, hey.

If this is too much for you,

we can tell them
I got all the wrong groceries

and we can reschedule, okay?

Your health is more important
than this job, Maddie.

I'm fine, Jake. I promise.
I need to go drop the halloumi.

(Jake sighs)

Hi, guys.

No, no, no. Stay seated.

I'm covered in turmeric.
I don't want to stain you.

(all laugh)

Uh, this is a grilled halloumi
with a yuzu kosho crisp.

- Enjoy.
- Thanks for having us, Maddie.

Maddie: Oh, it's my pleasure.

Not a lot of videos lately.
We've missed you.

Yeah, I've, um, I've taken
a step back at GourMaybe

- to really...
- Mm.

...reconnect with
what I love about food,

which I hope you guys feel
in what I made for you tonight.

Chelsea: Mm.

Take it away. Tell the story.

Um, I know it all started
with pulled pork on your show,

- but I gotta be me.
- (laughter)

- Hey, that's what we asked for.
- (laughter)

Um...

Tonight I've made for you, um,

something
that brings together...

- (stomach growling)
- (clears throat)

...my favorite styles
of cooking, East Asian,

Middle Eastern,
even a little Italian,

all through
a new Californian lens.

(chews) Mm.

It has all the punch
and swagger of the show,

but with a woman's touch.
(chuckles)

It's not lost on me

what an incredible opportunity
it would be

to feature innovative
vegetarian cooking

on an international platform.

I'm just gonna
grab one of these.

Mm. (chuckles)

Can I ask what brought you
to vegetarianism?

Ethical reasons.

(machine whirring)

(sighs)

I'm not kidding. Sometimes I'll
do the sessions from my car.

(kitchenware clattering)

It's really helped
with executive functioning.

- That's amazing.
- (metal clanging)

- And shame stuff.
- Uh, I should sign up for sure.

Whoa, Jake.

What's the story
behind this table?

Um...

Uh, a buddy of mine
from Middlebury does

does these live-edge walnut
countertops and tables.

Dan: Middlebury's
in Vermont, right?

- Jake: Yeah.
- You know, we're actually doing

a bottle episode... dairy farm
around Burlington.

Jake: Cool, cool.
Wait, what kind of episode?

Well, bottle episode
is when the...

- (Chelsea screaming)
- (tense music playing)

Maddie?
Hey, Maddie, come here. Hey.

Call 9-1-1, please.
Hey, come here.

Call 9-1-1.

(music concludes)

(indistinct announcement
over PA)

We successfully repaired

the gastrointestinal
perforation,

but she's going to need to be

on a very strict diet
of mild foods

for the next month
to fully recover.

White rice, white fish, no salt.

Will that be enough nutrients
for the baby?

Uh,

there's nothing in her chart
about a pregnancy.

(sentimental music playing)

What?

Dr. Kronenfeld: Yeah, I...

There's no way we would have
done the surgery

and not seen that come up, uh...

(speaking indistinctly)

Connie: Damn, Maddie.

I didn't know you had it in you.

Respect.

Deena: Psst.

How did it go?

(sighs)

Where's Julie?

Why don't you get
some rest, honey,

and we'll talk later.

Where's Julie?

Where's Julie?

Julie's dead.

God damn it, Amanda!

- (somber music playing)
- Where's Julie?

Heart failure.

I didn't want to tell you
in this state.

(cries)

- It's my fault.
- No, it's not, babe.

She wasn't supposed to exercise.

It's my fault.

She wasn't supposed
to exercise. (cries)

Hammond: Hey Maddie,

how would you like
a new roommate?

(music concludes)

Deena: Hey!

At least you got
to explain your vision

for the series. (chuckles)

And I bet they'll come
crawling back

once they realize
Emily is a total fraud.

No fucking way!

(laughs) Oh, my God,
that chick was delusional!

(laughs) Oh! Oh!

Oh, God.

Take that out
of the trash, Deena.

(sighs) Why do you care?

Because she was my friend.

So am I.

She needed to be here.

You don't.

Yes, I do.

(whispers) Why?

Because you need me!

Fuck! (groaning) Fuck!

What the hell is going
on in here? Deena?

- Deena? Deena?
- (pants)

Deena, what is going on?
What is happening?

- Deena? Deena? Deena? Deena?
- Maddie. Maddie.

(ethereal music playing)

(door closing)

Maddie: (whispering) Are you
sure this is a good idea?

Brittany: (whispers)
It's a fine idea. Let's go.

- (music concludes)
- (dog barking indistinctly)

Maddie: Where did you get these?

I made them in art class.

Connie: Is that a goblin?

Brittany: Self-portrait.

(all chuckling)

I call in the goddesses

North, South, East, and West,

on the day
that Julie dropped her body

and became a part
of the Sky God.

Her body will become
the earth...

nutrients...

to feed other people.

I'll go. Um...

You drove me crazy, Julie.

Your existence
was inconvenient to me...

because you were
the living embodiment

of the parts of myself
I've tried to obliterate.

The part of me that has hope.

The part of me
that wants a friend.

You were the bravest one
of us all.

(sniffles)

I'm so sorry
I was mean to you, Julie.

I do a lot of things
without thinking. (sniffling)

Like when I stole your notebook.

It was fucked-up of me
to read what you wrote,

but you said such nice things
about all of us. (sobs)

I can't believe
we'll never get to hang out.

(sniffles)

Brittany: Maddie.

Okay.

Julie...

you always love to swap secrets
after lights out.

So here's one last one.

(gentle music playing)

I never wanted
to be a mother. (voice breaks)

I'm too scared to do
to a child...

what my mom did to me.

But when I met you,
I wanted to protect you.

And I failed to protect you.

I guess that's
what it's all about.

(sniffles)

It would break my heart
to see you do the things

to your body that I do to mine.

Okay.

We release ourselves from those
who have left this plane

and let them walk...

the blessed gardens
of Summerland.

(sentimental music playing)

Connie: We love you, Julie.

Others: We love you, Julie.

(all blowing candles)

(indistinct chatter)

It's always the good students
who stay after class.

- Maddie: Bring her in.
- (music concludes)

(sighs)

- (game music playing)
- (footsteps approaching)

(Beverlee inhaling, exhaling)

(dramatic music playing,
concludes)

Dr. Kronenfeld:
Hello, Ms. Ralph.

I'm Dr. Kronenfeld.

Thank you so much
for joining us today.

Please call me Beverlee.
Two Es. (chuckles)

What's a handsome doctor
like you doing

in a dump like this?

Shouldn't you be out in Malibu
at some private treatment center

with all those
desperate actresses?

Dr. Kronenfeld: I'm not sure
what you're implying.

We take your daughter's health
very seriously here.

(groans) Fuck!

- Are you all right?
- It's just my damn knee.

Don't worry, my other parts
work just fine.

(scoffs)

Oh, I was teasing, Madison.
Good God.

(whispers)
I've upset Sister Maddie.

Now I must repent.
(chuckles normally)

It's an interesting time
to be cracking jokes, Ms. Ralph.

Oh, forgive me. This all just
seems really dramatic. (laughs)

In the past month and a half,
your daughter has gone

into cardiac arrest
and has ruptured her stomach

as a result of her bulimia.

And I suppose
that's all my fault?

We're not here to assign blame.

We're here to identify
unconscious patterns

from Maddie's childhood,
to bring them up to the surface

so that she can have
more control over them

in the future.

As you were obviously
a key player during that time,

your sincere cooperation today
could be very beneficial

- to your daughter.
- Well, I'm here, aren't I?

Yes, you are.

- That takes courage.
- Let's not get maudlin'.

- First question.
- (vape sizzles)

Okay. Can you tell me
about Maddie's father?

He's out of the picture.
(clears throat)

Can you be more specific?

Um, Madison was unplanned.

I had her when I was very,
very young, as you can see.

(chuckling) Her father and I
were desperately in love.

It was very carnal.

And then Madison was born
and he bolted.

- That's not the whole truth.
- She speaks.

Hello, my little Pollyanna.

What is she leaving out, Maddie?

What happened to you
when you were pregnant?

(laughs) Okay, that actually
did slip my mind.

Um... It... Look,

I gained an unusual amount
of weight in my pregnancy.

God, after Maddie was born,
I just could not get it off.

He was repulsed by us.

We never got married,
so I gave Maddie my last name.

(scoffs) Ralph.

Dr. Kronenfeld: I noticed
you said he was repulsed by us.

Did you somehow feel
that both you and Maddie

were responsible
for her father leaving?

You'll be thrilled to know
I did not mean to say that,

Dr. Kronenfeld.

Oh, let's do
a round of Rorschach.

A little free association,
get the words flowing.

Please don't make a mockery
of his work, Mother.

Thank you, Maddie.

- But let's play her game.
- (intriguing music playing)

I'll say a word,
and then, Beverlee,

you say
whatever word comes to mind.

I'm so excited. Go.

- Mm. Light.
- Bright.

- Bicycle.
- Boys.

- Water.
- Pure, clean, reborn.

- Pen.
- Cock.

- Plane.
- Still cock.

- Dr. Kronenfeld: Cat.
- Hairy.

- Meat.
- (screams) No!

(muffled voice) Maddie?
Maddie, are you okay?

What is it about meat
that caused you to scream?

- (normal voice) Take your time.
- (clock ticking)

They delivered the cooler
on Fridays.

A cooler full of frozen meat.

I remember loving the way
the dry ice made a cloud

of smoke when I opened it.

(Beverlee exhaling)

(emotional music playing)

Mother made us go
on the Atkins diet,

the keto of the early 2000s.

A rose by any other name.

Keep going, Maddie.

She would make me cook the meat
while she smoked marijuana

and watched court TV.

I felt useful.

We would gorge on the meat
every night...

so full that
sometimes we'd fall asleep

next to each other on the couch.

She'd wake me up
the next morning

to do aerobics with her.

5:00 a.m. on weekdays
every morning before school.

Beverlee: Ah!

I introduced my child
to a high-protein diet

and regular exercise.
Lock me up.

We did a million diets together
when I was a little girl,

but this one was different...

because I was 12 and...

I had started...

developing.

The other girls at school made
fun of my body and so she...

so she taught me...

how to purge.

Well I guess we figured it out.

Sit down, Mother.

I would cook the meat,

eat the meat,
throw up the meat, work out.

I was the only middle-schooler
I knew with gout,

- that's for sure.
- (blows raspberries, laughs)

(breathes deeply)

But then she added
one more step

to this endless cycle of hell.

She got a fake ID for me,

from a girlfriend of hers
in Oceanside...

and she took me to bars.

The men would leer at me...

say disgusting things to me.

And when they would touch me...

only then
would she step in. (sobbing)

But not because she wanted
to protect me.

She would take them
to the bathroom...

(cries)

...and finish them off.

She used me to procure men
for her... (sniffles)

...and told me it was
so I could have a father.

But I never needed
the love of a father.

I needed your love,
Mommy. (cries)

Careful, Maddie.
You're hurting my knee.

This is all I can do for today.

(door closing)

We're making progress, Maddie.

We're making progress.

(indistinct chatter)

(door closing)

- Hey, ladies.
- Patients: Hi, Nurse Hammond.

- (music concludes)
- Okay, we can all agree

that the food here sucks, right?

- Hmm.
- (chuckles)

Hammond: But I came up
with a brilliant idea.

How about Maddie
cook us lunch today?

(cheerful music playing)

Can I have help in the kitchen?

You sure can.

(inaudible)

You're the real deal, Maddie.

Can you pass the salad?

Thanks.

You really think I'm ready, Doc?

Only you can know that, Maddie.

Well, I do know

that I wanna get the hell
out of here.

(both chuckling)

Dr. Kronenfeld: Fair enough.

We're gonna miss you.

Hey, maybe I could come cook
for the patients again.

You know,
work with them in the kitchen.

We would love that.

But only if
that feels safe for you.

(footsteps fading)

She's ready.

Thank you both so much.

Bye now.

- We're so proud of you, Maddie.
- (Maddie chuckling)

(elevator bell dinging)

Maddie: Promise we'll see
each other

when you get out of here?

- Promise. (sobs)
- Maddie: Okay.

I'm going to miss you, guys.

I'm ready to go, too.

(music concludes)

- Deena, babe.
- Kelly: Deena.

This is Dr. Piggott

from the Behavioral Health
wing at Presbyterian.

She wants to ask you
a few questions

about your mental health
history.

We can't help you here,
and you know that.

I don't need any help.
No, Maddie can vouch for me.

You got this, Deena.

You're the toughest person
I know.

(sentimental music playing)

Maddie!

I'll see you in dance class?

(glass thudding)

Maddie!

- (glass thudding)
- Maddie!

Maddie! Maddie!

(music concludes)

Maddie: Mm.

Fig and Mortar, my favorite.

- Thank you so much.
- Of course.

You're allowed to be angry
with me, Jake.

(sighs heavily)

(chews)

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

(door opening, closing)

(Maddie singing indistinctly)

(doorbell ringing)

(door creaks)

Hi. Is Maddie here?

Why?

I have something for her.
I could just leave it with you.

Jake, it's okay.

- Hi, Emily.
- Hi, Maddie.

Congratulations on The Boar.

They're really lucky
to have you.

Yeah, I got that one
fair and square.

(softly chuckles)

You think you'll come back
to GourMaybe?

I don't know
what I want anymore.

I'm certainly not ready
to see Zach.

Emily: He's gone.

Condé Nast found out
about our involvement.

Wow.

I made you tahini
chocolate chip cookies.

Bringing you food
was maybe weird, sorry.

No, it's really kind of you.

You know, I used to make
this recipe all the time

before I worked at GourMaybe.

I was a big fan.

Well, you know what they say.

Never meet your heroes.

They might be a giant cunt
to you for no reason.

- (chuckles)
- I'll get out of your hair.

Hey, what changed?

Why so nice all of a sudden?

I guess I just needed
to know you weren't perfect.

(upbeat music playing)

Hey.

- Where are you going?
- (music concludes)

Out for a run.

The doctor said it was okay
to exercise again?

Yes.

How do I know
you're telling me the truth?

(upbeat music playing)

(car trunk closing)

(sighs)

(upbeat music continues)

(music concludes)

♪ ("Only A Love"
by Michael A. Hesslein
playing) ♪

♪ Only a little dream ♪

♪ To turn the world around us ♪

♪ Only a dream ♪

♪ To find what's left
That binds us ♪

♪ It won't be long now ♪

♪ It's like a song beginning ♪

♪ Reaching aloud to see ♪

♪ If only a love
Can take us there ♪

♪ Only a little love ♪

♪ If only a love can make it ♪

♪ To last the ages ♪

♪ Only you and me ♪

♪ Only a love ♪

♪ Only a love ♪

♪ If only a love ♪

♪ Can take us there ♪

(song concludes)