Original subtitles

[lighthearted music]

*

KISS ME.

NO.

KISS ME! NOW.

UHH--UNH!

[muffled protests]

SHE MUST BE SOME GIRL.

TELL HER SHE'S LUCKY...

WHOEVER SHE IS.

[bells jingle]

(Sergio) THE "LUCKY" GIRL'S NAME WAS HATTIE.

ONLY SHE DIDN'T KNOW THAT SHE WAS ALL THAT LUCKY.

'CAUSE, YOU SEE, TO HATTIE, WE WERE JUST FRIENDS.

BUT TO ME, SHE WAS, WELL-- SHE WAS MORE.

MUCH MORE.

AND IF I HAD MY WAY, SOMEDAY SHE WOULD BE MINE.

(woman) SAY YOU'RE SORRY.

[male voice straining] (woman) SAY YOU'RE SORRY!

[straining] (woman) SHE'S KILLING HIM.

WHAT'D HE SAY?

[man straining unintelligibly]

IT'S GOOD HE'S SORRY. [coughs]

[sighs] WONDERFUL!

AAH!

NOW THAT THAT'S ALL OVER WITH,

BREAKFAST IS ON THE HOUSE.

YOU LISTEN TO ME.

I'M A GOOD PATRON OF THIS PLACE.

NEVER HAVE I BEEN TREATED LIKE THIS!

YOU CAN EXPECT TO HEAR FROM MY LAWYER.

YEAH, WELL YOU CAN TELL HIM FROM ME

THAT PINCHING MY ASS ISN'T ON THE MENU.

(woman) DID YOU PINCH HER ASS?

(man) WHAT? NO. DID YOU PINCH HER ASS?

NO. NO. YOU PINCHED HER ASS!

HOWARD, YOU PINCHED HER ASS!

[couple leave arguing]

PLEASE. YOU NEED TO BE IN THERAPY.

YOU'RE A PIG. SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH YOU.

HEY! HEY, MISTER!

MISS! MISTER!

HEY. AAH!

DON'T BE AFRAID, LADY, I'M NOT GONNA HURT YOU.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

HERE, YOU DROPPED YOUR WALLET BACK OVER THERE.

COUNT IT, HOWARD. THESE PEOPLE ARE THIEVES.

THEY'RE THIEVES. COUNT IT!

COUNT THE MONEY.

VICKI, SHUT UP!

THANKS.

HATTIE'S SOMETHING ELSE, ISN'T SHE?

SHE'S GOT A REAL FLAIR FOR THE WAY SHE FEELS.

YEAH, SHE'S GOT A FLAIR, ALL RIGHT--A REAL FLAIR.

STOP TALKING TO HIM. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

[engine starts]

YOU GOTTA REMEMBER NOT TO LET HER GRAB YOU BY THE COLLAR,

'CAUSE IF YOU SLIP HER, YOU CAN GET IT.

BUT IF SHE GETS YOU BY THE COLLAR,

SHE'S GOT YOU AND YOU GOTTA GIVE.

I'M GONNA MARRY HER.

YEAH? YEAH. YEAH.

WELL, LET ME GIVE YOU A LITTLE ADVICE.

DON'T WEAR A TIE TO THE WEDDING.

[chuckles] ALL RIGHT.

CLOSE THE WINDOW.

OKAY. SEE YA.

OKAY, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

UH, MR. LINZER, I'M GONNA GO NOW.

ANYTHING YOU NEED?

NO. GO, GO.

HOW COME YOU DON'T COME TO OUR HOUSE

FOR DINNER ANYMORE, SERGIO?

YOU MAD AT US?

I'LL COME.

YOU SAY YOU'LL COME, BUT YOU DON'T COME.

I WILL.

YOU SAY YOU WILL, BUT YOU DON'T COME.

LEAVE THE BOY ALONE.

LOOK AT THE LOOK ON HIS FACE.

CUPID DANCES ON HIS EYELIDS.

HA.

I'LL COME.

I WILL.

[bells on door jingle]

DO YOU REMEMBER BEING IN LOVE LIKE THAT?

MAN, OH, MAN, HAVE I GOT A STORY

OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME LAST NIGHT.

I WAS JUST MOPPING-- MOP, MOP, MOP--

WHEN THIS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN COMES INTO THE STORE,

AND SHE'S DRESSED RICH, BUT NICE.

AND I SAY, "LOOK, WE'RE CLOSED."

BUT SHE DOESN'T MOVE. SHE JUST STAYS RIGHT THERE.

ARE YOU SURE YOU WEREN'T DREAMING?

YEAH, YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT,

SO I BIT MYSELF AND IT HURT.

YOU'RE LUCKY, SERGIO. THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU.

NOTHING EVER HAPPENS TO ME.

BUT I'M GONNA CHANGE ALL THAT.

OH, YEAH? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

I'M GONNA GO AND SEE THE WORLD.

YOU'RE GONNA GO SEE THE WORLD? YEAH.

WHERE YOU GONNA GO?

I DON'T KNOW, FRANCE MAYBE,

OR ITALY, OR AFRICA.

DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE DIFFERENT PLACES FOR A CHANGE?

I DON'T KNOW. I LIKE IT HERE.

SEE, THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND YOU.

I HAVE ASPIRATIONS.

I'M SAVING MY MONEY TO SEE THE WORLD,

AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A DIME.

BUT I'M GONNA BE MANAGER OF LINZER'S SOMEDAY, YOU KNOW.

I'M GONNA HAVE PLENTY OF MONEY THEN.

YEAH, "SOMEDAY."

WHO NEEDS MONEY, ANYWAY?

EVERYBODY NEEDS MONEY.

YOU GOTTA HAVE MONEY TO GO PLACES,

TO SEE DIFFERENT NEW THINGS.

[knocking on window]

(Sergio) I CAN'T, I'M S--

NO, I--TOMORROW.

TOMORROW, ALL RIGHT? TOMORROW.

HATTIE.

WHAT IF-- WHAT IF I SAVE MY MONEY?

COULD I GO WITH YOU?

YOU WANT TO SEE THE WORLD WITH ME?

YEAH. COULD I GO?

YEAH. YEAH, IF YOU WANT TO.

OKAY, THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT.

THAT DOES IT. THAT DOES IT.

TOMORROW I'M MARCHING DOWN TO MR. LINZER,

AND I'M DEMANDING TO BE MADE MANAGER.

YOU SEE? THAT'S ASPIRATION.

BUT YOU BETTER HURRY 'CAUSE I'M NOT WAITING FOREVER.

SIR, COME ON, GIVE ME A BREAK.

GET OFF MY CAR.

HEY, I'M SORRY. I'M GOING WITH HATTIE.

I'M SORRY. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

SO, UM...

WHAT ARE YOU--WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO FIRST?

I MEAN, YOU GOT A LOT OF DREAMS, DON'T YOU?

YEAH.

WHAT'S THE FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS?

DOESN'T REALLY MATTER.

[conversation fades]

[paper tears]

MR. LINZER, CAN I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU?

MR. LINZER.

IS SOMETHING WRONG?

DROP IT.

MR. LINZER, WE'RE LIKE FAMILY.

YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING.

[sighs]

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

YOU'RE A GOOD BOY.

YOU CARE FOR OTHER PEOPLE, LIKE YOUR FATHER.

GOD REST HIS SOUL.

TIMES ARE BAD.

THIS PLACE IS DOING VERY BAD.

I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA LOSE THIS PLACE

TO THE BILL COLLECTORS.

NO. MM.

I DON'T MIND HAVING NOTHING. I AM A MAN.

BUT MRS. LINZER...

I CAN'T WATCH HER LIVE LIKE A DOG.

NO, I LOVE HER MORE THAN THE AIR I BREATHE.

I WOULD RATHER DIE

THAN TO TELL HER I COULD NOT PROVIDE FOR HER.

BUT YOU DO PROVIDE. YOU PROVIDE HER WITH EVERYTHING.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE...

TO LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH...

YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM?

I DO.

YOU DO.

BURN THIS PLACE!

BURN?

IF THERE WERE A FIRE-- A SMALL FIRE--

THE INSURANCE WOULD SAVE ME.

YOU WANT ME TO BURN THIS PLACE?

NOT A BIG FIRE.

A SMALL FIRE. A STRONG FIRE.

A GOOD FIRE.

JUST ENOUGH TO BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND.

SERGIO...

I'M DESPERATE.

I'M SIMPLY DESPERATE.

THERE'S NO OTHER WAY.

BUT THIS IS--THIS IS YOUR LIFE, MR. LINZER.

EVERYTHING THAT YOU WORK FOR

IS BUILT AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW.

YOU CAN'T JUST BURN IT DOWN.

IT'S LIKE A MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY, MR. LINZER.

LOOK--LOOK AT THE OVENS IN THE KITCHEN, HUH?

AND HOW 'BOUT THESE WALLS?

W-WHAT ABOUT THE WINDOWS

AND THESE BEATEN UP WOODEN FLOORS?

MR. LINZER, LOOK, IT'S LIKE A PART OF YOU.

IF YOU BURN THIS DOWN, IT'S GONNA BE GONE.

YES, I DO LOVE THIS PLACE. YES.

THEN YOU'LL FIND A WAY OF PAYING THE BILLS.

YOU'VE HAD HARD TIMES BEFORE.

OH, SERGIO...

SERGIO, YOU'RE RIGHT.

AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY ME RIGHT AWAY.

OH, NO, NO, NO.

I WANT YOU TO BE PAID. [register rings]

HERE...

TAKE IT.

AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA BURN THIS PLACE DOWN?

YOU HAVE MY WORD.

OKAY.

OKAY.

SERGIO, I PRAY IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO YOU,

BUT IT HAPPENS TO EVERY MAN.

YOU WILL HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN TWO THINGS YOU LOVE.

ALL I LOVE IS HATTIE.

[sighs] SO...

YOU SAID YOU'D ASK.

HE DOESN'T HAVE THE MONEY RIGHT NOW.

I SAID I'D WAIT, BUT NOT FOREVER.

SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY.

YOU KNOW, I'M SAVING EVERY PENNY I GOT,

BUT AT THIS PACE I'M GONNA BE AT LEAST 110

BY THE TIME I HAVE ENOUGH MONEY.

AND BY THEN HATTIE'S GONNA BE IN FRANCE...

WITH SOME FRENCH GUY.

YOU KNOW, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,

I LIKE YOU, SERGIO.

YOU'RE NO RICHIE RICH, BUT YOU GOT A GOOD HEART.

IF IT WERE UP TO ME, I'VE GOT NO PROBLEM

WITH THE TWO OF YOU GETTING TOGETHER.

BUT SHE'S GOT THIS IDEA ABOUT SEEING THE WORLD.

SO I TELL HER, "HATTIE, WATCH NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC.

SAVE YOUR MONEY."

(Sergio) I WOULD NOT GIVE UP.

I WORKED, AND I SAVED, AND I THOUGHT ABOUT HATTIE.

EVERY DAY MY LOVE FOR HER JUST GREW MORE

AND MORE AND MORE

UNTIL SOMETIMES I WOULD FORGET TO BREATHE.

[thud]

HE FORGOT TO BREATHE AGAIN.

HMM.

(Sergio) I KNOW THIS MAY SOUND STRANGE,

BUT I PICTURED US AND THE PLACES WE WOULD GO.

IT DIDN'T MATTER TO ME IF IT WERE LONDON, OR PARIS,

OR FRANCE, OR SOME HOT, SWEATY JUNGLE SOMEWHERE.

YOU SEE, THE FEELING WAS ALWAYS THE SAME

BECAUSE I WAS WITH HATTIE AND SHE WAS WITH ME.

WELL, LOOKING BACK NOW, IT WAS ALL SO SIMPLE THEN.

AND THAT'S WHEN IT ALL WENT WRONG.

[sirens blaring]

[dispatch radio droning] [overlapping orders]

[firemen shouting indistinctly]

(fireman) GET IN THERE. RIGHT THERE.

SERGIO. SERGIO.

THANK GOD.

THANK GOD YOU ARE OKAY.

YEAH, I'M OKAY.

I'M--I'M FINE. I'M OKAY.

SERGIO.

HEY!

IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU?

PLEASE, HATTIE, PLEASE.

RIGHT NOW I GOT A LOT OF THOUGHTS

FLYING THROUGH MY HEAD, OKAY?

MR. LINZER IS WATCHING HIS LIFE GO UP IN FLAMES.

WHAT COULD BE WORSE THAN THAT?

THINGS.

THINGS THAT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.

THINGS? YES, THINGS.

LIKE WHAT COULD BE SO SPECIAL?

LIKE...

I DON'T HAVE A JOB.

HOW CAN YOU BE SO SELFISH?

SELFISH?

EVERYBODY ELSE IS AROUND HERE.

NOBODY'S THINKING OF SERGIO CUCHO,

AND WHERE'S SERGIO GONNA SLEEP TOMORROW,

OR HOW SERGIO GONNA EAT TOMORROW.

AND IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, I'M NOT RICHIE RICH.

THAT PLACE WAS EVERYTHING I HAD, HATTIE.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

FROM NOW ON, I'M JUST GONNA THINK OF ME.

SERGIO CUCHO, ME.

[distant siren]

[broken glass tinkles]

[door opens, bell jingles]

OH, SORRY, I--

I DIDN'T MEAN TO SURPRISE YOU.

FIRES MAKE PEOPLE JUMPY, HUH?

[chuckles]

UH...ARE YOU THE OWNER?

NO, I JUST WORK HERE.

I MEAN, I USED TO WORK HERE.

YEAH, YEAH.

WHO ARE YOU?

UH, I'M JUST A GUY WHO LIKES FIRE, THAT'S ALL.

YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE LATE.

YOU SHOULDA BEEN HERE YESTERDAY.

I'M JERRY FITZPATRICK.

NICE MEETING YOU.

OH, UM, I'M SORRY.

OH. OH, BOY.

ARE YOU WITH THE FIRE DEPARTMENT?

UH, NO, NO.

NO, I'M NOT. JEEZ.

WH--WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

SERGIO. AND I DON'T--

I DON'T KNOW WHO STARTED THE FIRE.

I DIDN'T SAY YOU KNEW WHO STARTED THE FIRE.

YEAH, BUT YOU WERE THINKING IT.

I WAS THINKING NO SUCH THING.

JUST THE OPPOSITE.

WHAT I WAS THINKING WAS,

"THAT KID LOOKS LIKE AN HONEST KID."

YEAH. YEAH. [loud clatter]

YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.

GOOD. GOOD.

BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING.

[sighs]

WANNA GO FOR A RIDE?

HUH?

FEEL LIKE TAKING A RIDE SOMEWHERE?

THIS--THIS AIR WE'RE BREATHING, IT'S NOT VERY GOOD FOR YOU.

IT'S, UH-- IT'S HURTING MY LUNGS.

I USED TO HAVE ASTHMA AS A KID.

YEAH.

WHO KNOWS WHAT THE HELL WE'RE BREATHING IN HERE, HUH?

(Sergio) SO WHAT EXACTLY IS IT THAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

(Fitzpatrick) I WORK FOR MR. LUMPKE.

DRUGS?

[chuckles]

MR. LUMPKE MAKES WIGS.

WHAT, WIGS LIKE IN HAIR?

HAIR FOR WOMEN. TOUPEE FOR MEN.

SEE THIS HAIR I HAVE ON TOP OF MY HEAD?

YEAH.

ONE OF THE FINEST TOUPEES MADE TODAY.

THAT'S NOT YOUR HAIR?

[chuckles] AMAZING, ISN'T IT, HUH?

YOU CAN ACTUALLY MAKE A LIVING DOING THAT?

A VERY GOOD LIVING.

HAIRLESSNESS IS A SCOURGE THAT MUST BE STOPPED.

(Sergio) JERRY SEEMED LIKE A NICE ENOUGH MAN,

AND SO I TOLD HIM ABOUT ME AND HATTIE.

THAT NOW SINCE I HAD NO JOB,

I HAD NO CHANCE OF GOING AWAY WITH HER.

JERRY SAID HE KNEW ABOUT A JOB.

[door shuts]

[chuckles]

SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT,

BUT MR. LUMPKE'S VERY, VERY EAGER TO MEET YOU.

COME ON. COME ON.

[door opens]

SERGIO. TOM LUMPKE.

VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.

SAME.

I HOPE WE'RE NOT INCONVENIENCING YOU.

NO, NO, THAT'S OKAY.

WELL, JERRY HERE CAN SOMETIMES SEEM IMPOSING.

I'M A TERROR. [laughter]

WELL, SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN, PLEASE.

MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE, FOR PETE'S SAKE.

[chuckling]

SIT. THANK YOU.

WELL...

JERRY TELLS ME THAT YOU WORKED AT THAT STORE

WHERE THEY HAD THAT TERRIBLE FIRE.

YEAH.

WAS ANYONE HURT? NO.

GOOD. THAT'S VERY GOOD.

RELIEVED HERE.

I'M SURE YOU'RE WONDERING WHY JERRY BROUGHT YOU HERE.

YEAH, WELL, HE SAID THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT A JOB.

WELL, A JOB, YES. A JOB OF SORTS.

LET ME EXPLAIN.

WOULD YOU LIKE SOMETHING TO DRINK? JERRY--

NO, NO, NO.

WHAT'S THE JOB?

[sighs]

I HAVE A SON YOUR AGE,

AND HE'S...

NOT AS GOOD A BOY AS YOU.

BUT HE'S THE ONLY FAMILY I'VE GOT.

I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH.

BUT SOMETIMES HE CAN BE DIFFICULT.

HE CAN BE VERY, VERY DIFFICULT.

YOU SEE, MY SON...

MY SON...

MY BOY...

SET THAT AWFUL FIRE.

Y-YOUR SON STARTED THE LINZER FIRE?!

YES.

AND HE WILL GO TO JAIL.

YOU SEE, HE'S BEEN IN TROUBLE BEFORE,

SO HE WILL GO TO JAIL.

AND THAT'S NOT WHERE HE BELONGS

BECAUSE DOWN INSIDE

HE'S A GOOD BOY.

HE'S A BOY WITH TALENT!

EVERY DAY I ASK MYSELF,

WHY COULDN'T HE BE AN ORDINARY KID, YOU KNOW?

BUT IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING. IT IS ALWAYS SOMETHING.

WHY WOULD HE--

WHY WOULD HE BURN DOWN MR. LINZER'S STORE?

BELIEVE ME, I DON'T KNOW.

BUT HE DID IT.

HE DID IT.

AND IT'S KILLING ME.

IT'S KILLING ME, SERGIO.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

[sighs]

IF SOMEONE WERE TO TAKE THE BLAME

FOR THAT FIRE...

SOMEBODY WHO'S NEVER BEEN IN TROUBLE BEFORE.

THEY WOULD RECEIVE A MINIMAL SENTENCE.

VERY MINIMAL.

PROBATION AT MOST.

AND I WOULD GIVE THEM A REWARD FOR SAVING MY SON.

SERGIO, I WILL PAY YOU TO TAKE THE BLAME FOR THIS FIRE.

$25,000, SERGIO.

[chuckles] THAT'S $25,000!

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SAYING WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

SERGIO, BEFORE YOU SAY NO,

JUST THINK ABOUT IT.

NO! NO WAY! NO!

SERGIO, PLEASE. I'M BEGGING YOU.

IT'S NOT FOR ME, IT'S FOR MY BOY.

IT'S FOR MY SON. I--I CAN'T.

I-I-I'M SORRY, I CAN'T DO IT.

I--I JUST--I CAN'T. YEAH.

I UNDERSTAND.

WELL...

I APOLOGIZE FOR INSULTING YOU.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

[stifled cry]

[sniffs]

LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

UH, WAS THE GUY WHO OWNED THE RESTAURANT INSURED?

YEAH.

THEN HE WINS.

HOW DO YOU MEAN?

HE GETS HIS MONEY.

A--AND IF YOU DECIDE TO TAKE THIS OFFER--

NOT SAYING YOU WILL, BUT IF YOU DO--

THEN YOU WIN TOO.

WELL, HOW'S THAT?

GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR GIRL.

WHAT WOULD HATTIE SAY IF SHE THOUGHT

THAT I BURNED DOWN MR. LINZER'S PLACE?

SHE WOULD BE BLOWN AWAY!

GIRLS LOVE GESTURES.

YOU BRING THEM FLOWERS.

YOU OPEN UP A DOOR FOR THEM.

BURN DOWN A PLACE, WHATEVER.

IF SHE FOUND OUT THAT YOU TORCHED THAT PLACE FOR HER,

HA, SHE--SHE WILL FALL INTO YOUR ARMS

LIKE A SACK OF ROSE PETALS.

SERGIO.

SERGIO. SERGIO. STOP ONE SECOND, PLEASE.

ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT THIS IS A SITUATION

THAT'S DIFFICULT TO LOOK AT FROM ONE ANGLE

BECAUSE--BECAUSE NOBODY'S RIGHT, BUT EVERYBODY WINS.

THE--THE GUY WHO OWNS THE STORE, HE GETS HIS INSURANCE MONEY.

MR. LUMPKE'S SON STAYS OUT OF JAIL.

AND--AND YOU GET THE MONEY,

YOU GET THE GIRL, AND EVERYBODY'S HAPPY.

SERGIO. SERGIO, LOOK AT ME.

LOOK AT ME.

LOOKING BACK NOW AT MY LIFE,

[inhales] I WISH I HAD THE SAME CHANCE YOU HAVE NOW, KID.

TAKE THE MONEY.

AND YOU AND HATTIE,

YOU'RE GONNA LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

AND IF I DON'T?

IF YOU DON'T--

IF YOU DON'T,

MAYBE SOMEBODY'S GONNA BUILD A STORE HERE IN A COUPLE YEARS.

MAYBE. AND MAYBE THEY'LL NEED A HELPER.

AND MAYBE YOU'LL GET TO WAIT ON HATTIE AND HER HUSBAND

WHEN THEY COME TO VISIT.

TAKE IT. TAKE THE MONEY, KID.

SERGIO!

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED.

YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

HOW DO I KNOW WHAT?

THEY TOOK MR. LINZER IN FOR QUESTIONING.

WHAT? WHY?

THEY THINK HE STARTED THE FIRE.

YEAH, BUT MR. LINZER DIDN'T START THE FIRE.

HEY, WHERE YOU GOING?

YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID

YOU WOULD WAIT FOR ME TO GET THE MONEY TO SEE THE WORLD?

YEAH, SO? WOULD YOU?

IT WON'T BE LONG, I SWEAR.

YEAH, YEAH, I'LL--I'LL WAIT.

YOU--YOU SWEAR? SWEAR.

OKAY, OKAY. I SWEAR. SWEAR?

SERGIO!

(Mr. Lumpke) SO I-I TOOK HIM OUT OF PUBLIC SCHOOL

AND I, UH, I SENT HIM TO MILITARY SCHOOL,

MAKE A MAN OUT OF HIM, YOU KNOW.

WELL, THAT, UH, IT WORKED FOR AWHILE.

AND THEN, UH...

HIS MOTHER DIED.

AND, UH,

I-I--SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM.

IT WAS JUST--

[chokes up]

I'M SORRY.

OH, DON'T-- DON'T, MR. LUMPKE, PLEASE.

OH. YOU KNOW, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT.

COULD YOU MAKE HIM STOP, PLEASE?

I CAN'T. YOU'RE LIKE A SAINT TO THIS MAN.

YOU'RE SAVING MY SON'S LIFE, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THIS BOY, JERRY.

WE'LL GET HIM A TOUPEE.

NO COST.

YOU'RE A VERY BRAVE YOUNG MAN.

NO, YES, YOU ARE.

YES, YOU ARE.

YOU'RE WILLING TO SACRIFICE

TO GET WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE.

TOMORROW, WE'RE GONNA GO DOWNTOWN.

WE'RE GONNA SET UP AN ACCOUNT IN HIS NAME

WITH THE MONEY THAT ONLY YOU CAN TOUCH, HUH?

YEAH, OKAY.

OF COURSE, IF YOU DON'T THINK THAT WOULD BE SAFE,

I COULD GIVE YOU THE MONEY IN CASH.

NO, NO, NO. IT'S--IT'S NOT THAT.

I JUST...

I-I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW SOMETHIN'.

I'M NOT--I'M NOT THE KIND OF GUY WHO DOES THIS THING

ON A REGULAR BASIS.

NO, NO. I UNDERSTAND.

WE UNDERSTAND. PLEASE, SERGIO, PLEASE.

I'M--I'M NOT.

WE UNDERSTAND THAT.

LOOK, PLEASE, SERGIO,

I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND.

AS FAR AS ANYBODY'S CONCERNED,

YOU STARTED THIS FIRE

AND NO ONE COULD EVER KNOW WHAT WE'VE SAID HERE TODAY, HUH?

NOBODY.

[exhales] OKAY.

I'M--I'M A MAN OF MY WORD, MR. LUMPKE.

AND WHEN I SAY THAT I-- I'M NOT GONNA TELL ANYBODY,

I'M NOT GONNA TELL.

I KNOW THAT. GOOD BOY.

HE'S A GOOD BOY.

HE'S A GREAT BOY.

MM. AND THAT'S A GREAT WINE.

I'M GONNA GET SOME OF THIS FOR THE HOUSE.

[soft chatter]

SOMETHING HAPPENED TO ME AT THAT MOMENT.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE,

I HATED SOMEONE.

SOMEONE THAT I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW.

I BEGAN TO HATE THE GUY WHO STARTED THE FIRE.

AND THE MORE I THOUGHT OF HIM FAR, FAR AWAY FROM ALL THIS,

I HATED HIM MORE.

AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, MY MIND WASN'T ON HATTIE,

BUT IT WAS ON WHAT HATTIE BELIEVED,

THAT THE RICH COULD DO WHATEVER THEY WANT.

THAT GUY, WHEREVER HE WAS,

WAS FREE, AND I WASN'T.

I SPENT THAT NIGHT JUST THINKING OF HIS FACE.

IMAGINING HIM LAUGHING AND LAUGHING,

HAVING A GOOD TIME,

WHILE I JUST SAT IN MY ROOM HATING HIM MORE.

SO I TRIED NOT TO THINK OF THIS

AND INSTEAD I THOUGHT OF HATTIE.

AND I TRIED TO GO TO SLEEP.

SERGIO. HOW'S IT GOIN'?

GOOD MORNING, SERGIO.

THERE'S SOMETHING I GOTTA TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

HAVE A SEAT.

YOU FEELIN' OKAY?

YOU KNOW THE LINZER FIRE?

YEAH.

MR. LINZER DIDN'T DO IT.

WHAT?

IT WAS ME!

[thud]

[sighs]

[water pours]

SERGIO, WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY?

THURSDAY.

GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

WHO WAS THE 16TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES?

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT BEFORE I KNOCKED MYSELF OUT.

AH.

I GOT JUST ONE QUESTION. WHY?

WHY? WHY WOULD YOU HAVE ANY REASON TO START THAT FIRE?

IT JUST CAME OVER ME.

JUST CAME OVER YOU. HMM. JUST CAME OVER YOU.

ALL RIGHT. THEN ANSWER ME THIS.

HOW'D YOU START THE FIRE?

HOW DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, THIS FIRE WAS STARTED IN A VERY INTERESTING WAY.

HOW'D YOU START THE FIRE?

I-I-I DON'T HAVE TO TELL ANYTHING.

WHAT IS IT, SOME KIND OF SECRET?

SINCE WHEN DOES A GUY HAVE TO PROVE

THAT HE'S GUILTY NOWADAYS?

SERGIO,

I DO NOT KNOW WHY YOU'RE SAYING YOU DID THIS.

BUT I CAN TELL YOU ONE THING.

THIS IS FOREVER.

THIS WILL GO ON YOUR RECORD FOREVER.

AND THE TRUTH IS YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA DO SOME TIME.

GOOD MORNING, MRS. OLDEN.

OH, GOOD MORNING. GOOD MORNING.

HOW ARE YOU TODAY? MUCH BETTER.

THEY CATCH HIM,

THE BASTARD WHO BURNED THE LINZER'S PLACE.

YEAH. YEAH.

AND YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE IT WHO DID IT.

WHO? OUR SERGIO!

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

I SAID THAT SERGIO BURNED THE LINZER'S PLACE.

NAH, YOU'RE MAKIN' SOME KIND OF MISTAKE.

OH, IT'S NO MISTAKE.

IT'S HIM.

HE TURNED HIMSELF IN.

[muttering to himself softly]

IT--THIS IS NOT AS BAD AS IT LOOKS.

WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

LOOK, I CAN'T GO INTO IT RIGHT NOW,

BUT BETWEEN YOU AND ME, YOU'RE GONNA BE VERY HAPPY.

YOU'RE IN JAIL.

YEAH, I KNOW. WHY?

YOU KNOW, THE FIRE.

I KNOW THE FIRE. BUT YOU DIDN'T SET THAT FIRE.

SHH. JESUS, HATTIE. WHAT ARE YOU TRYIN' TO DO, HUH?

YOU TELL ME WHAT'S GOIN' ON.

I-I CAN'T RIGHT NOW. I CAN'T RIGHT NOW.

BUT REMEMBER?

REMEMBER? REMEMBER YOU SAID YOU WOULD WAIT FOR ME?

OH, YOU GOT THREE SECONDS TO TELL ME WHAT'S GOIN' ON AH! AH!

OR I'M GONNA BUST YOUR FACE IN! NOT THE HAIR!

NOT THE HAIR! PLEASE, NOT THE HAIR! ONE, TWO.

YOU BETTER PRAY THEY NEVER LET YOU OUT.

TRUST ME. TRUST ME.

LOOK, I'VE GOT THIS UNDER CONTROL.

THIS IS THE BEST THING FOR EVERYONE.

'SCUSE ME. OH, THIS IS IT, HATTIE.

THIS IS IT. OH.

I'M GOING UP THE RIVER. THE BIG HOUSE. THE CLINK.

WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HIM?

I'M NOT TAKING HIM ANYWHERE. HE'S FREE TO GO.

EXPLAIN. I CAN'T.

WHO BURNED DOWN LINZER'S?

ME. I STARTED THE FIRE.

YOU DIDN'T START THE FIRE. I DID.

YOU DIDN'T. I KNOW YOU DIDN'T.

WELL, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

I KNOW YOU'D NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

YEAH, WELL, I GOT REASONS. GIVE ME ONE.

LOOK, I KNOW THIS IS REALLY HARD TO UNDERSTAND,

BUT THAT FIRE MADE US A LOT OF MONEY.

SOMEONE PAID YOU TO BURN DOWN LINZER'S?

LOOK. LOOK, HATTIE, TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.

EVERYBODY'S GONNA BE A WINNER FOR THIS.

AND HOW'S THAT?

WELL, FOR ONE THING, MR. LINZER GETS HIS INSURANCE.

NUMBER TW-- YEAH?

YEAH. AND HOW DOES HE DO THAT FROM JAIL?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHEN MR. LINZER FOUND OUT WHAT YOU SAY YOU DID,

HE TURNED HIMSELF IN.

HE'S TAKING THE BLAME FOR YOUR FIRE!

HATTIE, HATTIE, PLEASE. I'M SORRY.

GO AWAY!

HATTIE. HATTIE, I DIDN'T-- I DIDN'T KNOW.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, OKAY?

I DIDN'T KNOW!

HATTIE!

I-I DIDN'T KNOW!

HATTIE!

HATTIE!

[door opens]

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

MR. LINZER, YOU DON'T LOOK GOOD.

ARE YOU OKAY?

OH, I'M BETTER THAN OKAY. I'M JUST FINE.

GOOD. THEN TELL ME WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M TAKING MY PLACE WHERE I BELONG.

HERE AMONG THE CRIMINALS.

YOU'RE NOT A CRIMINAL, MR. LINZER.

I'M THE CRIMINAL.

LOOK, YOU GOTTA TELL THEM THAT I DID THIS.

PLEASE, MR. LINZER. PLEASE.

THIS IS MY FIRE.

I'M BEGGING YOU. PLEASE. PLEASE.

BUT YOU DID THIS FOR ME. I AM TO BLAME.

IT'S TIME IN MY LIFE WHEN I FINALLY START PAYING

FOR MY PROBLEMS.

IF I HAVE TO LOSE EVERYTHING...

THEN SO BE IT.

GREAT. GREAT. DOES MRS. LINZER KNOW ABOUT THIS?

WHEN I LEARNED OF WHAT YOU HAD DONE,

I CONFESSED TO HER WHAT I HAD TOLD YOU.

ABOUT--ABOUT BURNING THE PLACE?

ABOUT EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING?

EVERYTHING.

MRS. LINZER HAS SEEN ME FOR WHO I REALLY AM.

SHE HAS... SHE HAS LEFT ME.

SHE HAS LEFT.

[crying] OH, NO, DON'T DO THAT.

DON'T DO THAT. MR. LINZER, PLEASE DON'T CRY.

DON'T--DON'T DO THAT. PLEASE.

OKAY, THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT.

I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU TAKE THE BLAME FOR THIS.

MR. LINZER. MR. LINZER, I'M GONNA GET YOU OUT.

DON'T GET ME OUT.

THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE I BELONG,

AMONG THE UNLOVED.

I'M GONNA GET YOU OUT.

I DON'T WANT OUT. I WANT IN.

MR. LINZER, THIS IS CRAZY TALK.

I'M GONNA GET YOU OUT.

IF YOU GET ME OUT, I'LL BREAK BACK IN!

I DON'T CARE.

IF YOU BREAK BACK IN, I'M GONNA BREAK YOU RIGHT BACK OUT.

I WANT IN!

I'M GETTING YOU OUT!

I WANT IN. I WANT IN! I WANT IN!

AL THAT NIGHT, I WALKED THE STREETS THINKING.

THE SHOP WAS BURNED TO THE GROUND.

MR. LINZER WAS IN JAIL.

HATTIE HATED MY GUTS.

THINGS COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE.

OR SO I THOUGHT.

EXCUSE ME. AH!

I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE NAMED SERGIO.

DO YOU KNOW HIM? WHO ARE YOU?

I'VE COME TO DELIVER A MESSAGE.

WHERE CAN I FIND HIM?

I'M HIM.

HA!

HOW MUCH DID HE PAY YOU, HUH? WHO?

MY FATHER.

HOW MUCH DID HE PAY YOU TO TAKE THE BLAME FOR MY FIRE?

DON'T ANSWER THAT. WANT TO KNOW WHY?

'CAUSE I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW, SHIT FACE!

YOU? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STARTED THE FIRE?

AH. NOW THERE'S SOME QUICK THINKING.

WITH BRAINS LIKE YOURS, I'D BE A FOOL TO WASTE 'EM.

I'M A MENACE TO SOCIETY. I DON'T BELONG ON THE STREETS.

SO DON'T GET ANY FUNNY IDEAS!

WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?

WHAT DID YOU DO? WHAT DID I DO?

WHAT DID YOU DO? YES, WHAT DID I DO?

YOU'RE A THIEF. YOU STOLE MY FIRE.

YOU THINK STARTIN' A FIRE'S EASY? NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO. NO.

IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT LIGHTING A MATCH.

ANY JACK-OFF CAN LIGHT A MATCH.

BUT TO BE A PYROMANIAC WITH LOVE IN HIS HEART...

WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THEY DON'T GIVE NIGHT CLASSES IN THAT.

MOVE IT!

(Sergio muffled) HELP! HELP ME!

SOMEBODY SAVE ME! HELP!

[banging] HELP! HELP, SOMEBODY!

SAVE ME! PLEASE, SOMEBODY, SAVE ME!

OH! COME ON!

THANK YOU.

MOVE IT!

OW.

MOVE IT, YOU. OW.

LITTLE WEASEL. UP THE HILL.

UP THE HILL. HEAR ME?

[grunts]

WHERE ARE WE GOIN'?

JUST SHUT UP AND KEEP MOVING, YOU.

I'LL FILL YOU SO FULL OF HOLES

YOU'LL PISS OUT YOUR SHOULDER BLADES.

COME ON!

OKAY. FINE. FINE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, I DESERVE TO DIE.

I-I-I JUST WANT YOU TO KILL ME.

GO AHEAD. JUST PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY.

GO AHEAD. KILL ME.

KILL YOU? YEAH. GO AHEAD. JUST--JUST SHOOT.

GO AHEAD. PULL THE TRIGGER.

JUST SHUT UP AND GET OFF THE TRACKS, ASSHOLE.

DON'T MOVE. ALL RIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?

WAITING FOR A TRAIN.

YOU MEAN FOR YOU?

YES.

WHAT--TH--THEN WHAT AM I DOIN'?

YOU'RE HERE AS MY WITNESS.

I WANT YOU TO TELL STEPHANIE THAT MY LOVE FOR HER

WAS TOO GREAT TO LIVE WITH.

HERE. TAKE THIS.

IT'S HER ADDRESS.

I WANT YOU TO TELL HER THAT YOU TOOK THE CREDIT

FOR MY FIRE.

AND LEFT ME HERE WITH THIS LAST DESPERATE POEM TO HER.

[train whistle in distance] 'CAUSE SHE COULD NEVER BE MINE.

LET ME--LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU WANT TO DIE BECAUSE I TOOK THE BLAME

FOR YOUR FIRE.

I WANTED TO GO TO JAIL FOR THAT FIRE.

BUT YOU RUINED THAT!

NOW ALL I WANT IS FOR MY DEATH TO REST ON THE CONSCIENCE

OF STEPHANIE.

AHA. BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO GO TO JAIL.

WHAT, AM I TALKING TO A WALL HERE?!

[train whistle blows]

LISTEN! LISTEN! I THINK I GOT AN IDEA.

COME ON. GET OFF THE TRACKS!

THIS IS MY TRAIN! YOU GET OFF THE TRACKS!

COME ON, GIVE ME THE GUN.

I'LL SHOOT. I SWEAR.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SHOOT ME.

[yelling, gunshots]

AH AH AAH!

AAH!

MY TRAIN! MY TRAIN!

FIRST YOU STOLE MY FIRE

AND NOW YOU MADE ME MISS MY TRAIN!

YOU KNOW SOMETHIN',

YOU'RE REALLY STARTIN' TO PISS ME OFF.

[grunts]

HEY. HEY YOU! HEY!

HEY, WAIT A SECOND.

WAIT A SECOND.

STAY AWAY! JUST STAY AWAY!

WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ANYWAY?

I'M SORRY, I JUST WANTED TO--

YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?

YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A LOVE STORY HERE.

I'M TRYING TO GIVE IT A GOOD ENDING

AND YOU KEEP SCREWING IT UP!

LISTEN, YOU, THIS IS MY LOVE STORY.

AND IF YOU JUST HAD ONE SHRED OF A HEART,

YOU'D AT LEAST HEAR ME OUT.

DID YOU JUST SAY YOUR LOVE STORY?

YES.

HUH.

SAY, YOU KNOW WHERE A GUY CAN GET A DRINK AROUND HERE?

[owl hoots]

(Sergio) SEE, MR. LINZER THOUGHT THAT I BURNED THE PLACE DOWN

SO HE TURNED HIMSELF IN.

AND NOW I GOTTA GET HIM OUT OF JAIL SOMEHOW.

BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE I GAVE YOUR FATHER MY WORD

THAT I WOULDN'T TURN YOU IN.

THIS IS YOUR LOVE STORY?

RIGHT. RIGHT.

AND WHEN YOUR FATHER OFFERED ME THE MONEY,

I THOUGHT, WOW, THIS IS MY ONLY CHANCE

TO SEE THE WORLD WITH HATTIE.

AND I THOUGHT THAT SHE'D BE HAPPY.

BUT SHE WASN'T. NO. NO.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAYS TO ME? WHAT?

SHE SAYS THAT SHE HATES MY GUTS

AND SHE NEVER WANTS TO SEE ME AGAIN.

OH, DESPITEFUL LOVE.

UNCONSTANT WOMANKIND.

OH, TIGER'S HEART WRAPPED IN A WOMAN'S HIDE.

COME AGAIN?

WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE, MY FRIEND,

WOMEN CANNOT BE TRUSTED.

THEY SAY ONE THING, THEY MEAN ANOTHER.

THEY'RE EVIL.

THEY'RE THE MOST EVIL OF ALL CREATURES.

STEPHANIE WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I'D EVER SEEN.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER THE FIRST MOMENT

I EVER SET EYES ON HER PERFECT BEAUTIFUL FACE.

[chuckles]

BUT HOW CAN ANYONE EVER LOVE ME?

YOU WANT SOMETHIN'?

I WANT LOVE!

[silence]

THIS IS A LOVE STORY.

THE STORY OF THE UNLOVABLE.

ABOUT A MAN TOO HORRIBLE, TOO GROTESQUE

FOR THE WOMAN HE LOVES.

WHY?

BECAUSE WOMEN DON'T WANT A MAN WHO LOVES THEM.

THEY WANT PRINCE CHARMING.

WHO HAS TWO GOOD LEGS.

FINALLY ONE DAY, MY STEPHANIE COMES TO ME.

SHE TELLS ME SHE'S IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER MAN.

BETTER SHE SHOULD HAVE RIPPED OUT MY HEART

AND SHOVED IT DOWN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL.

[utensil clatters]

IN JUST ONE NIGHT, THIS THIEF STOLE MY STEPHANIE'S HEART,

SMOTHERING HER HELPLESS LIPS

WITH KISSES.

TELLING HER HE WOULD NOT LET HER GO

UNTIL SHE SWORE THAT SHE WOULD LOVE HIM FOREVER.

DAMN.

JUST ONE NIGHT, SERGIO.

ONE NIGHT, THIS ROMEO STOLE FROM ME

THE ONLY HOPE I EVER HAD OF HAPPINESS.

NOW I'M NOTHING.

HEY. TELL ME WHERE THE SON OF A BITCH IS

AND I'LL BRING YOU HIS EYES.

THANK YOU, MY GOOD MAN.

BUT ALL SHE TOLD ME

IS THAT HE WORKS IN A LITTLE PASTRY SHOP.

PASTRY SHOP? YES.

WHY? YOU DON'T KNOW HIM, DO YOU?

NO. NO. NO. NO.

I-I-I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY.

A RAGE BUILT INSIDE ME.

MY RAGE SLOWLY BOILED,

AND I WAS OVERCOME WITH THE URGE TO BURN SOMETHING.

ANYTHING, SERGIO!

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? IT WAS LOVE.

LOVE TURNED ME INTO A PYROMANIAC.

THAT--THAT--THAT'S ORIGINAL.

I WANTED TO BE CAUGHT.

I WANTED TO GO TO JAIL.

TO GIVE UP MY FREEDOM FOR STEPHANIE.

BECAUSE I WANTED HER TO SEE.

I WANTED HER TO SEE WHAT HER LOVE HAD DONE TO ME.

NOW--NOW I LIVE AMONGST THE UNLOVED.

I BELONG IN A MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON

FOR MEN!

[wails]

[door opens]

I GOT AN IDEA.

I-I GOT AN IDEA ABOUT SOME OF THE INTERESTING THINGS

YOU JUST SAID INSIDE.

OH, SERGIO, SERGIO, SERGIO.

YOU ARE THE ONE SHINING LIGHT

IN THIS HELLISH HOLE.

THIS STINKING SWAMP OF...WHATEVER.

YOU HAVE SAVED MY SORRY, DESPICABLE LIFE.

FOR THIS,

I AM FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT.

I KNOW HOW YOU CAN SQUARE THINGS WITH ME, GARET.

JUST SAY IT, MY FRIEND.

SAY IT AND IT'S YOURS.

YOU JUST GOTTA TURN-- [peeing]

YOU GOTTA TURN YOURSELF IN FOR THE FIRE.

TURN MYSELF IN. YES.

FOR MY OWN FIRE. YES.

YES! OF COURSE!

I'LL TURN MYSELF IN FOR MY OWN FIRE!

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

BUT--BUT SURELY THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TO REPAY YOU.

OH, NO, NO. BELIEVE ME. BELIEVE ME.

THAT'S PLENTY.

OH, SERGIO, YOU ARE A PRINCE AMONG PUTZES.

MWAH.

[laughs]

I'M GOING TO DO YOU A FAVOR

THAT YEARS FROM NOW YOU'LL THANK ME FOR.

[whistles] BUT I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO THANK YOU.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO DO ME ANY FAVORS.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME.

I'M VERY HAPPY WITH EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE.

THANK YOU.

I WANT YOU TO SHOW UP AT THE POLICE STATION TOMORROW,

THAT'S ALL.

TONIGHT YOU SAVED MY LIFE, SERGIO.

A LIFE OF TORMENT AND SUFFERING.

AND TOMORROW, I'M GOING TO SAVE YOURS.

DON'T SAVE MY LIFE!

JUST SHOW UP AT THE POLICE STATION TOMORROW!

YOU'LL THANK ME! [laughs]

OH!

[cat meows]

[groans]

[gasps]

[upbeat music]

*

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?

I'M LOOKING FOR HATTIE.

THAT'S ME.

WHO ARE YOU?

UH...

DO I KNOW YOU?

[laughs]

LOOK, IF YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT,

I'LL BE BACK.

THIS IS BEST FOR EVERYONE!

[crowd oohs]

[dishes clanking]

WHERE AM I?

DON'T WORRY, KID. YOU'LL BE OKAY.

YOU JUST TOOK A SHOT TO THE HEAD.

[ambulance siren]

OH, GOD.

THIS IS BAD. THIS IS BAD.

YOU NEARLY KILLED A MAN.

THIS IS GOING TOO FAR.

HE WAS KISSING ME.

THIS MAN COULD SUE ME FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE.

I'LL HAVE NOTHING.

WOULD ONE KISS HAVE KILLED YOU?

WHY DON'T YOU LET HIM KISS YOU?

I ONLY WISH I HAD THAT OPTION.

YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF HE KISSED ME?

PUCKER UP.

LOOK, POP.

I'M SORRY.

I DON'T MEAN TO GET YOU IN TROUBLE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THESE BOYS?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU DO SOMETHING TO MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE.

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS GUY IN MY LIFE.

I'M WARNING YOU,

AS A FATHER WHO LOVES HIS DAUGHTER,

YOU STOP WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE DOING.

I DON'T DO ANYTHING. ARE YOU CRAZY?

I'M NOT CRAZY.

I'M A MAN.

EVERY MAN I KNOW IS CRAZY.

I'M LEAVING.

GOOD, GO HOME. LEAVE ME HERE TO SUFFER.

NO, I MEAN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

I'M GOING AWAY.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU GOT NO MONEY.

WHERE YOU GONNA GO? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

I SAVED ENOUGH MONEY TO GET A TICKET SOMEPLACE.

NO.

NO?

YOU GO, UH...

WHO'S GONNA BE MY WAITRESS?

OH.

IS THAT ALL I AM? YOUR WAITRESS?

SERGIO, DID YOU HEAR?

WHAT?

SOME GUY ATTACKED HATTIE.

WHAT A MESS.

SENT THE POOR BASTARD TO THE HOSPITAL.

THE GUY,

DID HE HAVE TWO GOOD LEGS?

[elevator dings]

MR. LITO, WHAT HAPPENED?

MY LITTLE GIRL IS GROWN UP.

IS HATTIE OKAY?

SHE'S FINE.

BUT SHE'S NOT HERE.

BUT THANK YOU FOR COMING, SERGIO.

[grunts]

MR. LITO,

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUY SHE POPPED?

I'LL BE OKAY.

I'M A MAN.

[laughing]

GARET?

SERGIO!

COME HERE, COME HERE!

OH, MY GOD. LOOK AT THAT.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

SHE TAGGED ME PRETTY GOOD, HUH?

NEARLY KNOCKED OUT MY FRONT TEETH.

KNOCKED ME RIGHT OUT LIKE A LIGHT.

BAM!

[laughs]

HEY.

THEY THINK THE SHOT TO THE HEAD

IS STARTING TO MAKE ME ACT A LITTLE WEIRD.

BUT I FEEL SUPERHUMAN, LIKE I CAN FLY.

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

*

COME ON! FASTER, FASTER!

(Sergio) WHERE WERE YOU TODAY?

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TURN YOURSELF IN.

I WAS GOING TO, BUT FIRST I WENT

TO DO YOU THAT FAVOR.

WHAT FAVOR?

I WANTED TO SAVE YOU FROM HEARTACHE,

SO I THREW MYSELF AT YOUR HATTIE GIRL.

[shoes squeaking]

WHAT?

YEAH, I WANTED TO PROVE TO YOU

A SIMPLE KISS COULD TURN A WOMAN'S HEART.

JUST LIKE IT DID MY STEPHANIE.

BUT, WHAM-OH!

YOU KISSED MY HATTIE?

SERGIO...

SHE'S THE MOST AMAZING WOMAN I'VE EVER BEEN PUNCHED BY

IN MY LIFE. YEAH, WELL, SHE--

SHE CERTAINLY HAS A FLARE, DOESN'T SHE?

A FLARE? A FLARE LIKE A NUCLEAR BOMB!

NOT ONLY DID SHE NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH ME,

SHE NEARLY KILLED ME!

I WAS GONNA GO TO JAIL

WITH THE BELIEF THAT IN THIS WHOLE WORLD,

THERE'S NOT ONE COMPLETE--

YOU KNOW, TOTAL COMPLETE WOMAN.

AND NOW I'VE MET HATTIE.

HEY, WHAT--

WHAT ABOUT-- WHAT ABOUT THAT GIRL

THAT YOU'RE-- YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH?

STEPHANIE POTTS?

SHE IS WITHOUT PASSION.

HEY.

AHH.

SWEET NURSE.

I'M OVERFLOWING WITH LOVE.

KISS ME.

SHUT UP, YOU.

IT'S BACK TO YOUR ROOM. AND YOU, OUT.

HEY, GARET, WE GOT A DEAL, RIGHT?

YOU'RE GONNA TURN YOURSELF IN TOMORROW, RIGHT?

OF COURSE WE GOT A DEAL, SERGIO.

WE GOT A DEAL!

[upbeat music]

*

WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?

WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE?

WHAT DO YOU NEED, MRS. LINZER?

I WANT TO TURN MYSELF IN.

I AM A CRIMINAL.

AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

I BURNED MY HUSBAND'S SHOP DOWN.

AND SO THAT NIGHT,

I DECIDED TO SAVE MY HUSBAND,

BY SETTING THE SHOP ON FIRE.

MR. LINZER IS ONLY TRYING TO SAVE ME

BY TAKING THE BLAME FOR THIS TERRIBLE FIRE.

HE KNEW NOTHING ABOUT IT.

MRS. LINZER, PLEASE.

YOU DID NOT START THE FIRE.

OH, YES, I DID.

NO, YOU DID NOT.

WELL, I AM OLD ENOUGH.

I KNEW YOUR MOTHER.

MRS. LINZER, IT'S LATE.

I WANT TO GO HOME.

NOW, MRS. LINZER,

YOU KNOW YOU DIDN'T START THE FIRE.

I KNOW YOU DIDN'T START THE FIRE.

THERE IS NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING,

YOU CAN SAY TO CONVINCE ME YOU STARTED--

[flames roar]

[fire crackling]

[whistles]

HEY, HATTIE!

WAIT UP. IT'S ME, GARET!

OH, NO. NOT YOU AGAIN.

PLEASE DON'T HURT ME.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I'M GOING AWAY TOMORROW.

I MAY NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN.

YEAH, SO?

I JUST WANTED TO SAY I'M SORRY.

I MEANT NO HARM KISSING YOU.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

YEAH, WELL, IF THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT,

YOU SHOULD GET SOME INSURANCE FOR THE NEXT TIME.

I KNOW I'M NOTHING TO YOU.

NO ONE AS HORRIBLY REPULSIVE AS ME DESERVES TO BE KISSED

BY SOMEONE AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU.

THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO SAY.

I'LL GO NOW,

SUFFERING, ALONE,

INTO THE DARK, AND WELCOMING--AHH!

[metal clanking]

[grunt and thud]

YOU OKAY?

PLEASE LEAVE ME HERE.

YEAH, I SHOULD LEAVE YOU HERE.

[moaning]

COME ON, LET'S GO.

GET UP.

WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?

LOOK, IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP,

I'M GOING TO THROW YOU BACK INTO THE STREET.

YOUR WORDS ARE LIKE POETRY TO MY EARS.

SHUT UP.

OKAY.

QUIT STARING AT ME.

SORRY.

YOU LIVE HERE ALONE?

NO, ME AND MY DAD.

BUT WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING,

SO HE STAYS AWAY UNTIL I COOL OFF.

OH, THAT'S VERY AUTHENTIC.

I LIKE IT. YES.

[laughs] I LIKE IT, I LIKE IT.

WHAT'S WITH THE CANE?

IT'S MY CURSE.

IT'S FOR MY DEFORMITY.

IT'S THE REASON NO WOMAN WILL EVER LOVE ME.

SO IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING...

WHY'D YOU ACT LIKE SUCH A NUT?

I AM THE WAY I AM BECAUSE...

I'VE BEEN DRIVEN INSANE BY LOVE.

LOVE CAN'T DRIVE YOU INSANE.

OH, YES, IT CAN. NO, IT CAN'T.

OH, YES, IT CAN!

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

YOU HAVEN'T HEARD MY LOVE STORY.

IT MAY BE TOO MUCH FOR YOU.

TOO MUCH FOR ME? HA.

THIS...

IS THE STORY OF THE UNLOVABLE.

AND HOW THE UNLOVABLE MUST WATCH THE ONE HE LOVES

FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT THAT'S LIKE?

[door creaks]

THANK YOU.

[door closes]

GRETA, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?

IS THAT ANY WAY TO TALK TO YOUR WIFE?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

STARTING THINGS ON FIRE, ACTING LIKE--

THIS IS NO PLACE FOR YOU.

IS IT A PLACE FOR YOU?

A MAN IS STRONGER THAN A WOMAN.

OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

I HEARD ENOUGH.

I'LL CALL THE GUARD TO HAVE YOU REMOVED.

WHAT'S COME OVER YOU?

YOU CAN'T GO TO JAIL FOR THIS.

AND WHO'S GOING TO STOP ME?

ALL MY LIFE, YOU HAVE BEEN A GOOD MAN.

A GOOD HUSBAND.

AND YOU'VE TAKEN CARE OF ME.

BUT YOU TREAT ME LIKE I'M AN IDIOT.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

DO YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW WE HAVE NO MONEY?

FIRST, I THOUGHT I DIDN'T KNOW YOU

FOR DOING SUCH A THING.

BURNING DOWN EVERYTHING WE'VE WORKED FOR.

AND THEN, I REALIZED WHAT YOU ARE.

PROUD.

TOO PROUD.

WHAT DID YOU THINK,

THAT I WOULD NOT LOVE YOU ANYMORE?

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

AND FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE,

I WILL DO SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH.

AND THIS ADONIS,

THIS--THIS DAVID GUY,

WITH NOTHING BUT SAVAGE LUST IN HIS HEART,

PULLS HIS LIPS AWAY FROM HERS AND SAYS,

"I WILL NOT LET YOU GO

"UNTIL YOU PROMISE TO LOVE ME.

FOREVER."

[sighs]

OH, WHAT AN ASSHOLE.

I MEAN, WHAT MATCH AM I FOR A GUY LIKE THAT?

AW, GIVE ME A BREAK.

ANY GIRL WOULD TAKE YOU OVER A GUY LIKE THAT ANY DAY.

IF ONLY I COULD BELIEVE THAT.

BELIEVE IT.

I'M A WOMAN. I KNOW.

WHY?

WHY WOULD ANY WOMAN LOVE

A FREAK OF NATURE LIKE ME?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU'RE DIFFERENT.

YOU GOT FEELINGS.

YES!

I'VE GOT FEELINGS.

WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON.

WE GO WITH OUR EMOTIONS, OUR PASSIONS.

THAT'S WHY YOU PUNCHED ME.

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? THAT'S WHY I KISSED YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT?

[gasps]

I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!

YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE WITH ME. I AM.

I AM!

YOU JUST GOT THROUGH TELLING ME

YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH STEPHANIE.

SHE'S WEAK.

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

THAT GUY STOLE HER HEART WITH A KISS.

BUT, WITH A KISS,

YOU BROKE MY FACE.

EVERY MAN I KNOW HAS LOST HIS MIND.

I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY.

BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M MORE SANE THAN I'VE EVER BEEN.

I WILL HAPPILY GO TO JAIL FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE,

JUST KNOWING THERE'S A WOMAN OUT THERE AS PASSIONATE AS YOU.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "GO TO JAIL"?

I MUST BE HONEST WITH YOU.

IN YOUR PRESENCE, I CAN BE NOTHING

BUT TOTALLY HONEST.

I STARTED THE FIRE AT THE PASTRY PLACE

A FEW DAYS AGO.

YOU!

IT WAS FOR LOVE. I DID IT FOR LOVE!

YOU STARTED THE FIRE?

I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.

SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH THAT-- THAT DOUGH BOY!

WHAT DOUGH BOY? THAT DOUGH BOY STEPHANIE FELL IN LOVE WITH!

THERE IS NO DOUGH BOY AT LINZER'S.

JUST SERGIO.

[humming]

MR. LINZER. YOU'RE--YOU'RE NOT IN JAIL.

SERGIO, SERGIO.

SERGIO, SOMETHING INCREDIBLE HAS HAPPENED.

SOMETHING REMARKABLE. AGAIN?

MRS. LINZER HAS TURNED HERSELF IN FOR THE FIRE.

OH, MY GOD, NO. THAT'S TERRIBLE.

TERRIBLE?

IT'S WONDERFUL. MARVELOUS, MAGNIFICENT.

IT'S A NICE JAIL, MR. LINZER, BUT IT'S NOT MAGNIFICENT.

YOU KNOW,

SHE TURNED HERSELF IN BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME.

SHE LOVES ME. SHE LOVES ME.

I HAVE NO MONEY, NO JOB, MY WIFE IS IN JAIL,

AND I FEEL-- I FEEL--

I FEEL LIKE SINGING, DANCING,

SINGING, DANCING.

LIKE SINGING, LIKE SINGING.

MR. LINZER.

MR. LINZER, WE CAN'T LEAVE MRS. LINZER IN JAIL.

OF COURSE. YEAH, OF COURSE.

ALL RIGHT.

OF COURSE.

LISTEN TO ME.

LISTEN TO ME, SERGIO.

YOU'RE A GOOD BOY, BUT YOU DID A BAD THING.

A VERY BAD THING.

AND I HAVE DONE A VERY BAD THING TOO.

OH, NO, NO, MR. LINZER. YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING.

I DID, I DID, I DID.

I PUT THIS VERY BAD THING INSIDE YOUR HEAD.

IF I HADN'T DONE THIS, MRS. LINZER WOULDN'T BE IN JAIL.

OUT OF ALL THIS TRAGEDY,

ONLY ONE THING CAN SAVE US ALL FROM DOOM.

THE TRUTH.

YOU MUST TURN YOURSELF IN FOR THE FIRE

YOU STARTED.

MR. LINZER.

MR. LINZER, I SWEAR TO YOU,

TOMORROW, MRS. LINZER'S GONNA BE BACK IN YOUR ARMS AGAIN,

AND HER TIME IN JAIL IS JUST GONNA BE A FADING MEMORY,

I PROMISE YOU.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, SERGIO. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

SO, I THINK I'LL GO

THANK THE GOOD LORD FOR SENDING ME MRS. LINZER.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

SERGIO, SHE LOVES ME!

SHE LOVES ME!

WONDERFUL!

WONDERFUL, IT'S WONDERFUL!

HATTIE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

GO AWAY.

I CAN'T. I LIVE HERE.

YOU WERE PAID TO TAKE THE BLAME FOR THIS FIRE.

WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

GARET.

HE ALSO TOLD ME THAT YOU STOLE HIS GIRL.

WHAT? THE ONE YOU'VE BEEN KISSING.

IS THAT ALL YOU DID ALL THIS FOR,

SO YOU COULD BE WITH HIS GIRL?

NO, I--I-- NO, I--I--

YOU KNOW, I ALMOST FELT SORRY FOR YOU.

BUT TO THINK THAT ALL THIS TIME,

YOU'VE BEEN KISSING HER.

YOU'VE BEEN KISSING HER, SERGIO.

AND THINKING OF HER.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND--

YEAH, I UNDERSTAND, ALL RIGHT.

I UNDERSTAND.

HATTIE.

IF YOU WOULD JUST STOP AND LISTEN.

THERE IS NO GIRL!

IT WAS LATE, I WAS--I WAS MOPPING,

AND SHE JUST CAME IN, AND SHE STARTS

KISSING ALL OVER ME.

SHE JUST STARTS KISSING YOU?

YEAH.

YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO MAKE HER KISS YOU?

SAY ANYTHING?

GO ON, SAY IT. SAY WHAT YOU SAID.

I DIDN'T-- I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING LIE I'VE EVER HEARD.

YOU LIED ABOUT THE FIRE, YOU LIED ABOUT THE GIRL.

YOU LIE ABOUT EVERYTHING!

YOU KNOW, I HOPE SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

AND A GOOD KISSER.

YOU KISSED HER, SHE KISSED YOU.

WHO CARES?

SO THERE HE IS! AH!

MR. TWO GOOD LEGS!

KISSING MY STEPHANIE. MAKING HER FALL IN LOVE.

NO, THAT'S-- THAT'S NOT IT.

THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED AT ALL.

SURE IT'S NOT.

NO, LOOK, I WANTED TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU.

BUT I WAS JUST AFRAID THAT YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.

I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS.

DON'T WORRY, SERGIO. I WAS MAD.

BUT NOW I REALIZE YOU DID ME A FAVOR.

MY PYROMANIA, IT'S GONE.

WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING EVEN BETTER THAN THAT?

WHAT?

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO JAIL ANYMORE.

WHAT? SORRY.

YEAH, BUT-- BUT WE HAD A DEAL TOGETHER.

DEALS ARE BASED ON HONESTY.

I SAID I WOULD TURN MYSELF IN.

BUT YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE GONNA MAKE STEPHANIE

FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

WOULD YOU STOP SAYING THAT?

I DIDN'T MAKE ANYBODY FALL IN LOVE WITH ME.

LOOK, I NEVER SAW HER BEFORE, AND I NEVER SAW HER AGAIN.

SHE JUST COMES INTO THE SHOP, SHE JUMPS ALL OVER ME.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I DON'T KNOW.

EXCUSE ME.

DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT TO BE HEARING THIS RIGHT NOW?

NO!

LISTEN, YOU.

MRS. LINZER JUST TURNED HERSELF IN

FOR YOUR FIRE.

BOY, OH, BOY, OH, BOY.

THIS IS BECOMING THE MOST POPULAR FIRE IN HISTORY, HUH?

YES, AND IF YOU DON'T TURN YOURSELF IN,

MRS. LINZER'S GONNA GO TO JAIL.

I CAN'T DO IT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T DO IT?

I CAN'T!

YEAH, BUT MRS. LINZER CAN'T GO TO JAIL.

SHE'S A LITTLE OLD-- HEY!

I GOT AN IDEA. WHAT?

WHY DON'T YOU TURN YOURSELF IN?

ME? WHY NOT?

BECAUSE I ALREADY TURNED MYSELF IN.

THEY DON'T BELIEVE ME.

I'LL BE A WITNESS FOR YOU.

YEAH!

I'LL TELL THE POLICE

THAT I SAW YOU START THE FIRE. YEAH?

ONLY ONE PERSON KNOWS HOW THE FIRE STARTED, RIGHT?

RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, AND YOU TELL THEM.

THERE'S NO WAY THEY WON'T BELIEVE YOU.

[laughs]

YOU KNOW, IT'S THE MOST INCREDIBLE THING.

I MEAN, STEPHANIE HAS BEEN TOTALLY ERASED FROM MY MEMORY.

RIGHT NOW-- RIGHT NOW,

I'M TRYING TO IMAGINE WHAT STEPHANIE LOOKS LIKE.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I CAN'T EVEN PICTURE HER FACE.

I CLOSE MY EYES AND ALL I SEE IS HATTIE.

HATTIE?

MY HATTIE?

TOMORROW, AFTER YOU TURN YOURSELF IN,

HATTIE AND I ARE GONNA GO SEE THE WORLD.

WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT--WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, IS--IS--

IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE SOME KIND OF JOKE?

I MAY BE SMILIN',

BUT I'M NOT LAUGHIN'.

BUT--BUT YOU CAN'T BE IN LOVE WITH HATTIE.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER!

LOVE IS NOT BASED ON TIME, SERGIO.

LOVE IS ENDLESS

AND INSTANTANEOUS.

BUT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH STEPHANIE, REMEMBER?

AH-AH-AH.

WAS IN LOVE. PAST TENSE.

[laughs]

OH, BOY.

LOOK AT US.

I'M IN LOVE WITH HATTIE, AND YOU'RE THE PYROMANIAC.

WHO'D HAVE EVER THOUGHT WE'D SWITCH PLACES?

CIAO.

[engine starts]

[tires screech]

[door bell rings]

YES?

I NEED TO TALK TO STEPHANIE.

DO YOU HAVE AN INVITATION?

NO.

YES.

IT'S ME.

LOOK, WE GOTTA TALK.

YES, IT IS YOU.

WHO ARE YOU?

IT'S ME.

THE GUY FROM THE PASTRY SHOP.

THE GUY THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH.

OH, YES.

WELL, I GUESS YOU BETTER COME IN.

OKAY, THANKS.

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

WELL, YOU MUST MEET DADDY.

I'VE SPOKEN SO MUCH OF YOU,

IT'S AS IF HE ALREADY KNOWS YOU.

DADDY,

THERE'S SOMEONE I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET.

LOOK AT HER, MY DAUGHTER.

YES, DADDY.

I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO SOMEONE.

OH, SO BE IT.

WELL, WHO IS HE?

DON'T KEEP ME IN SUSPENSE.

HE IS THE MAN I LOVE.

HE IS THE MAN WHOM I'VE FORGOTTEN GARET FOR.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

SERGIO CUCHO.

ITALIAN.

NO, I'M PUERTO RICAN.

OH, WELL.

HOW ARE YOUR LEGS?

FINE.

IT'S A LOVE THAT CANNOT BE BROKEN, DADDY.

WELL, FAR BE IT FROM ME TO UNDERSTAND

THE CLOCKWORKS OF LOVE.

YOU'RE PUERTO RICAN.

GOT TWO GOOD LEGS.

LIFE IS GIVE AND TAKE.

LOOK, LOOK. WE GOTTA TALK.

(Stephanie) YES, I KNOW.

SO, SERGIO.

WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO PROPOSE TO ME?

PROPOSE?

DID I HEAR "PROPOSE" AS IN MARRIAGE?

PERHAPS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

LADY, I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

I-I CAME HERE BECAUSE I NEED YOUR HELP.

ANYTHING, MY LOVE.

YOU JUST SAY THE WORD.

STOP BEING IN LOVE WITH ME.

HELLO, HEARTBREAK.

OH--OH, DON'T DO THAT.

OH, PLEASE, DON'T. NO, IT'S FINE.

I MEAN, I'M GETTING USED TO IT BY NOW, ANYWAY.

IS THIS MAN CAUSING TROUBLE, STEPH?

ONLY IF YOU CALL TEARING MY HEART OUT "TROUBLE."

JUST STOP, PLEASE.

STOP!

JUST GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES OF YOUR TIME.

JUST FIVE MINUTES.

I DON'T GET IT.

HOW COULD YOU BE IN LOVE WITH ME?

DO YOU REMEMBER THE NIGHT WE MET?

YEAH, I REMEMBER.

BUT THAT KISS DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME.

IT'S NOT THE KISS.

IT'S WHAT YOU SAID.

IT'S THOSE WORDS,

THOSE BEAUTIFUL, MAGICAL WORDS.

WHAT IF I WERE TO TELL YOU THAT GARET CAME TO ME

AND TOLD ME HOW IN LOVE HE WAS WITH YOU?

GARET? GARET LUMPKE?

YES.

WELL, I'D SAY THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIS LEG.

THAT IS THE ONLY THING HE COULD LOVE.

HE IS THE FIRST MAN IN HISTORY

TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HIS OWN LEG.

YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH THAT GUY LOVES YOU?

HE BURNT DOWN MY WORK

'CAUSE HE THOUGHT YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH ME.

HE WAS JEALOUS?

OUT OF HIS MIND.

LIKE A GREASE FIRE QUICKLY EXTINGUISHED?

THE WHOLE BUILDING.

AND HE EVEN WANTED TO GO TO JAIL

'CAUSE YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME

AND HE THOUGHT YOU COULD NEVER BE HIS.

HE SAID THIS?

HE SAID IT.

WELL, I ONLY TOLD HIM ABOUT YOU

BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO THINK I WAS UNLOVABLE.

HE I IN LOVE WITH ME?

DEFINITELY.

AND FROM WHAT I KNOW,

YOU TWO ARE JUST PERFECT TOGETHER.

REALLY?

REALLY.

HE THINKS HE'S SUFFERED.

DOES HE KNOW I'VE SUFFERED?

HUH?

I SUPPOSE HE THOUGHT MY LOVE

COULD BE WON SO CHEAPLY.

CHEAP?

THAT NIGHT I KISSED YOU,

I HAD A FEELING OF POWER.

FOR ONCE, I DID WHAT I FELT.

THAT NIGHT I FELT LIKE IT, SO I KISSED YOU.

[gasps]

PERHAPS WHERE YOU'RE FROM

A GOOD FIRE MAKES FOR A LOVE STORY.

WELL, I HAVE STANDARDS.

AND TO WIN MY LOVE,

HE MUST AT LEAST BLOW SOMETHING UP.

PLEASE, HE'S RUNNING OFF WITH MY HATTIE!

BE GONE WITH YOU, CUPCAKE BOY.

I'M NOT-- I'M NOT GONNA LEAVE YOU

TILL YOU SAY YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE WITH ME.

WON'T SAY IT.

WHAT? SAY IT! SAY YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE WITH ME.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY IT?

SAY IT!

MAKE HER SAY--

MAKE HER SAY SHE'S NOT IN LOVE WITH ME!

AND AS FAR AS YOU'RE CONCERNED, GIUSEPPE--

SERGIO.

WHATEVER.

AS FAR AS YOU'RE CONCERNED,

I WILL LOVE YOU TILL THE DAY I DIE.

PLEASE, DON'T BE IN LOVE WITH ME ANYMORE.

YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THERE GOES PINOCCHIO,

THE MAN I LOVE. MY NAME'S SERGIO! SERGIO CUCHO!

(Garet) HEY, HATTIE.

[whistles]

HEY, WAIT UP.

WAIT UP.

YOU KNOW, WE COULD FLY.

FLYING'S MUCH FASTER, YOU KNOW.

LOOK, I DON'T WANT FAST.

I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT WHERE I'M GOING.

BESIDES, TRAINS DON'T GO DOWN.

SO LET OFF TRAINS, OKAY.

OKAY, OKAY, TRAINS ARE GOOD.

TRAINS ARE GREAT. I LIKE TRAINS.

WE'LL WORK OUR WAY UP.

WE GOT NOTHING BUT TIME, RIGHT?

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? WHERE TO?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF CASH.

OH, NO PROBLEM, NO PROBLEM.

I'VE GOT MAJOR CREDIT CARDS.

THE FINEST HOTELS. THE BEST FOOD.

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES.

FIRST CLASS ALL THE WAY, HATTIE.

AND I'LL BE THERE TO WAIT ON YOU HAND AND FOOT.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

PICK A PLACE.

(Hattie) HOME.

HOME?

WHEN I THOUGHT OF SEEING THE WORLD,

I ALWAYS IMAGINED THE PLACES WITH SERGIO.

NOW THAT HE ISN'T HERE,

I CAN'T THINK OF WHERE I WANT TO GO.

I DON'T THINK I EVEN WANT TO GO ANYMORE.

I'M REALLY SORRY, GARET.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO--

IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S OKAY.

I...

I UNDERSTAND.

SO GOES THE LIFE OF THE UNLOVABLE, RIGHT?

WILL YOU LET ME TAKE YOU HOME?

IT'S OKAY. I'LL TAKE A TAXI.

BUT YOU GO.

YOU SEE THE WORLD.

SERGIO, SERGIO, SERGIO.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

COUPLE A DAYS AGO,

THIS WAS A NICE, QUIET, LITTLE NEIGHBORHOOD.

NOW, I GOT YOU IN ONE CELL.

MRS. LINZER IN ANOTHER.

SOMETHING HAS GONE VERY, VERY WRONG.

EXCUSE ME.

UM, I'M LOOKING FOR A GIRL NAMED HATTIE.

THAT'S ME. WHO ARE YOU?

MY NAME IS STEPHANIE POTTS,

BUT PERHAPS I AM BETTER KNOWN

AS THE GIRL WHO IS IN LOVE WITH SERGIO.

YEAH, WELL, IT'S A FREE COUNTY.

PLEASE, SPARE ME THE HEROICS.

THIS IS A STORY THAT'S BEEN CONFUSED LONG ENOUGH.

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT.

WELL, I'M SURE YOU DON'T, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO.

IT'S REALLY QUITE A SIMPLE ONE.

LISTEN, I'M GOING HOME NOW,

SO YOU'LL HAVE TO LEAVE.

I DON'T THINK SO.

I'M TELLING YOU TO LEAVE.

FOR GOD'S SAKES,

WILL YOU PLEASE SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP?

YOU'RE STARTING TO ACT LIKE ME

AND IT'S REALLY GIVING ME A HEADACHE.

WELL, THEN.

AS I WAS SAYING,

THE STORY REALLY IS QUITE A SIMPLE ONE.

SEE, I'D SPENT AN EVENING AT A PARTY,

A VERY BORING PARTY,

WATCHING A VERY HANDSOME YOUNG MAN AVOID ME.

GARET IS SIMPLY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN

I HAVE EVER KNOWN.

ANYWAY, THAT NIGHT,

I WAS SO DESPERATELY SAD

THINKING ABOUT GARET

AND HOW HE WILL NEVER LOVE ANYONE--

S, YOU GO KISSING SOME GUY YOU NEVER MET?

I AM NOT THROUGH. NOW, SHUT UP.

AS I WAS SAYING,

AT TIMES OF MELANCHOLY, I WALK.

I HATE TO WALK.

AND WALKING IN HIGH HEELS IS PUNISHMENT ALL THE MORE,

SO I WALKED ALL THE MORE.

I WALKED AND I WALKED.

ARE YOU GETTING THE PICTURE?

I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

GOOD.

ALL I COULD DO WAS THINK ABOUT

HOW I WILL NEVER FIND A MAN IN THIS ENTIRE PLANET

WHO HAS ANYTHING-- ONE OUNCE OF ANYTHING

TO OFFER BUT SELF-PITY.

AND BY THE TIME I LOOKED UP,

I WAS IN THIS GODFORSAKEN LITTLE NEIGHBORHOOD...

AND IT WAS DARK.

NOTHING WAS OPEN.

NOTHING BUT THIS LITTLE PASTRY SHOP.

[humming]

[door chime rings]

HELLO?

HELLO?

EXCUSE ME.

EXCUSE ME.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I'M SORRY, WE'RE CLOSED.

THE DOOR WAS OPEN.

I-I KNOW, I KNOW.

BUT THE SIGN SAYS CLOSED.

THE DOOR WAS UNLOCKED,

SO THE STORE IS NOT CLOSED, LITERALLY SPEAKING.

YEAH, BUT THE--THE SIGN--

THE SIGN SAYS CLOSED.

WHAT ARE YOU, KING OF SIGN ETIQUETTE?

NO.

LISTEN, UNLESS I AM DISTURBING SOME COSMIC BALANCE,

THEN PLEASE ALLOW ME TO COLLECT MYSELF

AND PERHAPS CALL A CAB.

[water sloshes]

[humming]

HEY, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HUM THAT SONG?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S HATTIE'S. IT'S HER FAVORITE.

OH.

LET ME GUESS.

THE TWO OF YOU ARE IN LOVE.

AND IT'S A BEAUTIFUL, ENDEARING LOVE,

AND THAT'S YOUR SONG.

BOO HOO.

NOT EXACTLY.

AND HOW'S THAT?

WELL...

SHE DOESN'T KNOW SHE LOVES ME.

LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

WHY WOULD YOU BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE

WHO ISN'T IN LOVE WITH YOU?

I DON'T KNOW.

DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S INSANITY?

DOES A MAN GO TO THE AIRPORT TO PICK UP HIS BROTHER

IF HE HAS NO BROTHER?

WELL, THEN PLEASE TELL ME WHY THE HUMAN ANIMAL FALLS

IN LOVE WITH SOMEBODY WHO DOESN'T LOVE THEM,

WHO MIGHT NOT EVER LOVE THEM,

WHO PROBABLY WON'T EVER LOVE ANYONE?

IT MAKES NO SENSE.

WHY? ANSWER ME.

WHY?

I'M SORRY.

I CAN SEE YOUR BRAIN'S ABOUT TO EXPLODE

FROM OVERLOAD.

BECAUSE...

BECAUSE YOU GOTTA LOVE SOMEBODY.

AND--AND IF A MIRACLE HAPPENS,

AND THEY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU,

WELL, THEN THE SKY OPENS UP

AND THE STARS COME POURING DOWN AND...

AND...

WELL, SOMETIMES LIFE ISN'T SO SIMPLE.

SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA SCRATCH

AND YOU GOTTA FIGHT ALL YOU GOT TO GET THEM.

YOU GOTTA BE--

YOU GOTTA BE WILLING TO DIE FOR THEM.

AND IF THEY DON'T LOVE YOU

AND YOU GAVE IT ALL YOU GOT,

THEN WHEN YOU DIE WHEN IT'S ALL OVER,

YOU'LL NEVER WONDER.

YOU'LL NEVER SAY, "WHAT IF?"

(Hattie) HE SAID THAT?

(Stephanie) IN SO MANY WORDS, YES.

ABOUT ME?

ABOUT YOU.

THEN WHY DID YOU HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM?

ME FALL IN LOVE WITH SERGIO?

YEAH.

UH, DEAR ONE,

A POOR PASTRY BOY MAKES

FOR A QUAINT CHARACTER IN A STORY.

BUT OUT THERE IS A GORGEOUS MAN WILLING TO BURN FOR ME.

LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU ABOUT THE WORLD.

I'VE SEEN IT.

AND IF YOU THINK THAT ONCE YOU LEAVE,

MEN GET SMARTER...

THEY DON'T.

OH, WHICH REMINDS ME.

YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO KNOW WHERE I MIGHT FIND GARET,

WOULD YOU?

HE WAS AT THE TRAIN STATION.

WELL, HATTIE, I GUESS THE LIKELIHOOD

OF OUR MEETING AGAIN IS RATHER SLIM.

SO, UM, ALLOW ME TO BE

A LITTLE BIT MORE BRASH THAN MY USUAL SELF.

GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GO FIND YOUR SERGIO.

[clears throat]

STEPHANIE!

UGH!

[grunts]

WHA--

WHA--

WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

I AM TIRED OF WAITING FOR YOU.

WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT,

WE ARE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER.

YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME?

IS THERE AN ECHO IN HERE?

YES, I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU.

AND IT'S AN ACHING, TORTUROUS LOVE,

WHICH WRENCHES THE LOWER EXTREMITIES.

NOW, GET UP BEFORE I THROW YOU ONTO THE TRACKS.

[grunting]

SO RUMOR HAS IT YOU STARTED

THAT TERRIBLE FIRE FOR ME.

YES.

YES, I DID.

WELL, I DON'T BELIEVE IN VANDALISM.

BUT I, UH, I DO HAVE TO ADMIT

THAT WAS A VERY POWERFUL THING YOU DID.

WELL, IT WAS A POEM FOR YOU, STEPHANIE.

A POEM...WRITTEN IN FLAMES.

I KNEW IT.

I KNEW IT.

I POEM DEVOTED TO THE FORFEITURE OF MY FREEDOM.

MY FREEDOM FOR YOUR EVERY--

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

WORDS.

YOU SEE, GARET.

THE POINT IS...

[sighs]

WHEN I FOUND OUT IT WAS YOU,

I WAS OVERCOME.

NOBODY'S EVER DONE ANYTHING FOR ME LIKE THAT BEFORE.

YOU LIKED WHAT I DID?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

BUT I LOVE WHAT YOU MEANT BY IT.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

[grunts]

HEY.

WHATCHA DOING?

NOTHING.

I WAS JUST, YOU KNOW...

I-I THOUGHT YOU LEFT.

NO.

THERE'S SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO KNOW.

YOU TOOK THE BLAME FOR THE MONEY, RIGHT?

YEAH.

AND WHAT WERE YOU GONNA DO WITH THE MONEY?

I WAS GONNA SEE THE WORLD WITH YOU.

JEEZ, HOW STUPID IS THAT?

WELL, I WAS AFRAID THAT YOU WERE GONNA GO AWAY

AND FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE.

SO I-I THOUGHT GOING TO JAIL

WASN'T THAT BIG A DEAL IF I COULD BE WITH YOU.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HOW YOU FELT?

BECAUSE, HATTIE, YOU GOT BIG GOALS.

YOU WANT TO BE RICH. YOU WANT TO SEE THE WORLD.

YOU WANT TO KNOW MY GOAL?

YOU.

OH, I KNOW YOU THINK THAT'S STUPID.

NO.

THAT'S NOT STUPID.

YOU STILL GONNA CONVINCE THEM THAT YOU SET THE FIRE.

YEAH.

WELL, THEN I GUESS MY TRAVEL PLANS

ARE ON HOLD FOR AWHILE.

YOU--

YOU MEAN--

YOU--

HEY, NOW DON'T GO GETTING ALL MUSHY ON ME.

OH, WHAT THE HELL.

[sweeping orchestral music]

*

(Sergio) SO GARET FINALLY TURNED HIMSELF IN.

IT WASN'T HARD TO PROVE HE STARTED THE FIRE

SINCE HE WAS THE ONLY ONE

WHO KNEW HOW IT REALLY STARTED ANYWAY.

EVEN THE POLICE, THE JUDGE, THE JURY--

THEY ALL OFFERED TO REDUCE THE CHARGES

SINCE WHAT GARET DID, HE DID FOR LOVE

AND THE FACT THAT IT MADE HIM CRAZY.

BUT GARET REFUSED TO SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS

THAN THE FULL FORCE OF THE LAW.

SO THEY THREW THE BOOK AT HIM.

YES!

GARET!

(Sergio) YOU SEE, TO GARET,

IT WAS THE PERFECT END TO A BEAUTIFUL STORY.

A LOVE STORY.

[gentle orchestral music]

*

OF COURSE, MRS. LINZER WAS RELEASED FROM JAIL.

AND WHAT'S MORE,

MR. LINZER GOT HIS FIRE INSURANCE.

AND NOW THAT THEY HAD THEIR MONEY,

THEY THOUGHT ABOUT RETIRING AND TAKING LIFE EASY.

BUT THEN THEY DECIDED THE BEST THING,

THE THING THAT BROUGHT THEM THE MOST HAPPINESS

WAS TO START A NEW STORE.

NATURALLY, THERE WOULD COME A TIME

WHEN THEY NEEDED A MANAGER.

UNFORTUNATELY, I'M UNAVAILABLE

DUE TO THE WORLD AND MY NEED TO SEE IT.

[honks horn]

I WAS THINKING, AS FAR AS THE WORLD GOES,

YOU KNOW, I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT TOWER IN PISA

THAT LEANS 'CAUSE THEY SAY

SOME DAY IT'S JUST GONNA FALL.

BLAM, JUST LIKE THAT.

OR WE COULD SKIP THAT

AND WE COULD JUST CONCENTRATE ON THINGS

THAT ARE STANDING STRAIGHT.

WHAT?

WHAT?

YOU GOT OTHER IDEAS?

YEAH.

[thud]

(Hattie) SERGIO?

SERGIO.

[lighthearted orchestral music]

*