All language subtitles for arrested.development.s03e01.internal.bdrip.x264-archivist

Now the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything...

and the one son
who had no choice...

but to keep them all together.

It's Arrested Development.

Michael Bluth began his day
with something he'd never seen before.

I'm hearing good things
about the Bluth Company.

Good news about
his family's housing business.

Old man Bluth's in jail.
I think his son is running the company.

Doesn't seem like
a total moron to me.

I've had this thing as a triple sell,
and I am upgrading it right here, right now.

I think this thing could even
go as high as a "Don't Buy."

Don't buy! Huh?
Mom, did you see that?

- Don't buy Bluth!
- You build a house that's good, people are gonna wanna come...

This sinkhole spread
a little bit more last night?

Anyway, I'm gonna go to the prison.
I'm gonna tell Dad about this news.

- I thought you said we shouldn't visit him.
- Visit, no. Gloat, yes.

I've worked very very hard for this.
I sold the cabin property to keep us afloat.

I haven't had any time
to spend with my son.

Now you can spend time with my son.
I want your brother Buster to come live with you.

And it's not because he has
that horrible hook for a hand now.

It's the snoring.
Listen to this.

Buster's snoring. Wednesday night.

It's driving me cra...

You won't even know he's here.

You seem more villainous than usual, Mom.
Are you sober?

- Michael, it's 8:00 a.m.
- So, it's not that.

I don't know.

Maybe it's because I went off
my postpartum medication.

You were still taking that?
You had Buster 32 years ago.

And that's how long
I've been depressed about him.

Actually, I did go off it in the early '90s,
but I didn't like what happened to me.

Claiming she could take it no more,
the young mother released the emergency brake...

allowing her car to roll backwards
into the nearby lake.

Good for her.

I must have gained three pounds.

Why did you go off them
this time?

Well, apparently, mood-altering medication
leads to street drugs.

That's what this very handsome
young doctor said on the Today Show.

That was Tom Cruise,
the actor.

They said he was
some kind of scientist.

Maybe you should get away
from Buster.

- Why don't you go up to the cabin in the woods.
- I thought you said we sold it.

We sold the property. I worked it out
so we could relocate the cabin...

but it is gonna be up in Tahoe
for another couple of days.

Maybe you can
take a date up there.

How am I supposed to find someone
willing to go into that musty old claptrap?

The cabin. Yes.
That would be difficult too.

Please get back on the meds, Mom.
We miss the old old you.

I didn't even know
that we had a cabin.

Ah!@%$. Well, for what it's worth,
I've never actually been there.

Although he'd often been promised.

Hey, pal. Something's come up.

This nice young lady has lost her puppy
and your dad's got to help her find him.

Oh, bad news, buddy.
This young lady's dad is sick...

and I'm taking her
to the hospital.

Come on. You're old enough
to figure this out. I'm nailing this broad.

Pardon me if I don't
burst into tears, Michael...

but at least
he promised to take you.

He just let me blindly
enjoy my childhood.

I didn't even know there was a cabin
he wasn't taking me to.

Mmm. Mine's sadder.

I don't see you crying, robot!

You taste these tears.
Taste my sad.

No. Not gonna
lick your eye, okay.

Well, I will tell you this, Michael.
I don't have a son.

- He does.
- But if I ever do...

I'm either gonna take him
to the cabin in the woods...

or I'm gonna promise to take him
and then not take him.

But the one thing
that I will never do...

is not tell him that I'm taking him to
a cabin in the woods, and then not take him.

Gob was growing up.

Well, the cabin in the woods is gonna
be stacked up next to our carport.

But maybe we should head up
there tonight, huh?

One... first time.

- Taste the happy, Michael.
- Oh, no.

- Taste it.
- Tastes kind of like sad.

Michael set off to prison to tell off
his father when he discovered his son.

- George Michael?
- Dad, hey.

- What are you doing?
- I didn't wanna miss you because
you've been leaving so early lately.

You slept out here
to see me?

Michael had never been
so touched by something his son had said.

But it wasn't true. He was hiding
from his cousin after an awkward incident.

They'd since been trying
to avoid each other...

which was difficult,
considering they shared a bunk bed.

- Oh, hi.
- Hi.

- I'm off to the car.
- I'll be in the crawl space.

- How would you like to head up to the cabin?
- Can you afford to skip work?

I think the president of a "Don't Buy" company
can afford to take a day off.

We're up from "Sell"?

- It's happening, isn't it?
- It's really happening.

It's time for us to start
creating some memories.

There's been enough disappointment
in this family.

There's only one sleeping bag, so we're gonna
have to double up. Pigs in a blanket!

Sorry, pal.
Something came up.

It is worse to know.

Gob was getting life lessons all over the place.

And Michael broke a two-month silence
and went to visit his father.

You came!
Someone came!

Only to tell you that the company is back
on track and it's because you're behind bars.

And now I get to do with my son what you
never did with me. I'm taking him to the cabin.

...scar!
And every night...

I'm scarred too, but my son
is not going to be.

And they cover it with soap,
and you're supposed to thank them.

Like they're doing you a favor!

- Anything you'd like for me to pass on to the family?
- I'm your uncle!

I'm your dad's twin brother!

I'm Oscar!
He switched on me.

No one believes me.

Unfortunately for Oscar, "you've
got the wrong twin" was a very popular alibi.

You've simply got
the wrong twin.

We're quadruplets.
You've got the wrong two.

- We're Larry and Dave.
- You want Curtis and Jeff.

I even started a Web site...
imoscar.com.

I'm innocent, Michael.

I'm Oscar!
Dot com!

Don't buy it.
I'm taking my son to the cabin...

and there's nothing you can say
to make me believe that you are not my father.

I understand.

Your child comes first.

- Oh, my God. You're Oscar.
- Dot com.

So Michael returned
to the office to try and free his uncle.

Don't buy! Don't buy!
Don't buy!

When he realized how much that freedom
would cost his employees.

Don't buy! We did it, Mikey.
We're super rich again.

And I'm gonna buy a car.
The Volvo.

Lindsay, you're not gonna start spending money.
And this is not a Vol-vo.

- That's from sitting on the copier.
- Lindsay...

Michael, I've got nothing. My husband dumped me
and ran off to Vegas with Kitty.

- That bleached blonde whore.
- He's definitely got a type.

I can't believe he left me.

I mean, this and these and this!

- That's the car.
- Oh.

- This.
- Glad I didn't spring for color.

The only reason you want Tobias
is because you can't have him.

And the second that you can have something,
all of a sudden you don't want it.

- That's not who I am, Michael.
- No? All right, maybe you're right.

- Maybe we should get you this car.
- I don't know. It's so boxy.

- Gob.
- Oh, Michael.

- How's Dad?
- Uh, I don't know.

It's Oscar who's in prison.
If I let him out, people will know Dad is free...

and those people out there
will end up paying for it.

Dad hasn't, uh, tried
to contact you, has he?

Like I'd ever hear from that son of a bitch.

Earlier that day,
Gob received a letter from a group...

that reunited abandoned sons
with their fathers, called SAD.

Father-son reunion?
But Dad's still in prison.

But now the letter made sense.

- That son of a bitch.
- Law offices of Barry Zuckerkorn.

- Hi, it's Michael Bluth for Barry.
- Barry went to Reno to see your father.

- Reno? He said he's been visiting my father in prison.
- Yeah.

Barry says a lot of things
he doesn't mean.

Well, I guess I'm going
to Reno to look for Dad.

Good luck, favorite son.

So once again, Michael went after the father...

who'd once again abandoned him,
only to find...

he was about to do
the same thing to his own son.

It's not happening, is it?

Something came up.

Michael had just told his son
they wouldn't be going to the cabin.

But the cabin's in Lake Tahoe.
That's right near Reno, and we could...

But this is gonna be like an adult trip.
Aunt Lindsay will be here.

Hi. Hey, why don't you pop a tent
in front with your cousin Maeby?

- What? No!
- I'm not really the outdoorsy type.

Well, then this is a good chance
for you to rub off on her.

As Michael set out to find his father...

Gob thought he was doing
the same.

There's my guy!

Hey, buddy, come on.

Gettin' 'em to track down
your dad too?

- My dad actually had them track me down.
- Oh.

But... it does look like
he's not gonna show.

Kind of feel like that kid
who found the severed hand.

Hey, Dad, look what I found.

Anything for his father's approval.

- Heartbreaking.
- You look familiar.

I think that's because
we actually kind of look alike.

Remember when I said Gob had a son?

- I'm Gob.
- I wasn't just saying that.

In high school, Gob became
intimate with these girls.

These girls got pregnant.
This one had a baby.

And that baby would grow up to be...

Steve Holt.

All I ever wanted was to spend
a little time with my dad.

Maybe go camping.
But I guess that will never happen.

I know this is gonna sound
kind of crazy...

but my family has a cabin
in the woods for one more night.

Maybe we could go up to Reno,
get the keys and go camping.

You know, sort of...
a son-and-son thing.

If Steve had had a father,
he would've warned him...

not to go into the woods
with strange men, but he didn't.

- Sure! Let's go!
- Okay. Great.

- This is me right here.
- Okay.

- Yeah, baby!
- Emo!

Michael, meanwhile, arrived in Reno...

a city competing
with Las Vegas's successful...

"What Happens in Vegas
Stays in Vegas" campaign...

and set about searching
for Barry Zuckerkorn.

I'm looking for a man who's probably
in the seedy underbelly of Reno.

Oh, the Christian League had the Seedy
Underbelly shut down. Now it's a Swallows.

Swallows was a family-style restaurant by day...

and an anything-goes,
pansexual bazaar by night.

Can I interest you in
a smoothie or an amyl... Michael!

Tobias, I thought that you were in Vegas
with Kitty and the Blue Man Group?

No, as it turns out,
the part that I'd...

destroyed my life to get
had already been cast.

The role was filled by George Sr.,
who used it to hide in plain sight.

That is until he choked
on a marshmallow...

and almost died when
no one noticed he turned blue.

So, Kitty suggested we come
up here to try out in Reno, and...

Uh, I'll be honest, Michael...

leaving Lindsay was the biggest
little mistake I've ever made.

I can't seem to call her though.
Damn this pride of mine!

Tuna melt's up, and you need
to flip the cushions in the grind room.

Yes, sir. Right away, sir. Great. Now I'm gonna
be smelling to high heaven like a tuna melt.

What would you say if I told you that Lindsay
might be willing to get back together with you?

Oh, uh, I'll call her right now.

Why don't you let me handle it? You know
Lindsay. She only wants what she can't have.

- What would you do about Kitty?
- I can't lie to you, Michael.

Kitty left me two days ago.

There's a blue handprint on the back of your head,
Kitty. Are you seeing someone else?

Face it, Tobias.
It's over!

- Say good-bye to these!
- Those are blue too!

There were blue handprints on them?

Yes. And I swear to you,
they weren't...

Yours. No, I know.
It all points to Dad.

Dad's in Reno, Kitty's in Reno.
Dad's in Kitty, and he must be a Blue Man.

- I'm gonna go check out the theater.
- Okay, I'll meet you there.

I just have to break down the salad bar
and set up the leather pony.

- What's a leather pony?
- I don't know. We don't have that at lunch.

So Michael called Lindsay
to say he'd found her husband.

- All right, I'm on my way.
- No, no. I'll just bring him back with me.

- He wants to come home?
- I mean, against his will.

Knock him out if you have to.
He's my husband!

Just watch the kids
like you promised, okay?

- I'm not...
- Neither am I!

Hold it.

And the kids found themselves
closer than ever on the bumpy road to Reno.

Hello?

Lindsay, hey, hi. Michael said not to call you,
but I missed you so much.

You miss me?

- What are you doing?
- Nothing. What are you doing?

I was driving out there, but this is crazy.
We have to be realistic.

But the thing is,
I can't leave Kitty.

What, with all the sexual intercourse
and whatnot.

- You bastard!
- What are you doing?

- Nothing!
- I will be backstage...

after the Blue Man show
whether Kitty likes it or not.

Sounds good.
One quick question.

What if Kitty's not there and I'm less
of a Blue Man and more of a cocktail waitress?

- She's turning again.
- Hang up!

I'll see you there. Thank you. Bye.

Michael was already
at the theater looking for George Sr...

when he ran into Barry
doing the same thing.

- Hey! Barry.
- Hi, Mikey. So, how much do you know?

I know that Oscar is in prison,
and that my father is a Blue Man...

- and that you are clearly in cahoots with him.
- Ooh, a lot.

- Where is he?
- I don't know.

I was gonna meet him here,
but he must've seen you and run off.

I was gonna give him this...
$250,000 and a passport.

- Just a passport.
- Well, I was up for so long.

- Barry, you're fired.
- What?

- Yeah.
- Just like that?

No warning?
You're my only client.

What am I supposed to do now,
turn tricks on the street?

How much do you think I can get
for that, by the way?

- I've got to let Oscar out of prison.
- What about making out?

Fifty dollars, or is that just LA?
Am I just...

Soon, Lindsay arrived at the hotel...

and the kids finally faced facts.

Look, it was just a half kiss. Maybe that's
the reason why we're acting weird.

It was because we didn't finish the kiss?
Is that what you w...

Yeah. Do you think we should
just finish the kiss? Get it out of the way.

Let's get it out of the way.

Hey, kids, bring the bags.
We're sharing a room.

- Let's meet back here tomorrow morning, okay?
- Yeah.

- Go.
- Are you... Yeah, I'm gonna...

I'm gonna stay out here
and watch that famous Reno sunset.

Isn't it behind you?

There's... Yeah, but there's mirrors.
It'll actually look closer.

While George Michael waited for the sunset...

another set of sons arrived.

Michael said he'd meet me here.
I'll get the keys to the cabin, son.

I'll go buy some fishing stuff, son.

- So, where did you get this kid?
- I guess I can tell you now.

We were both waiting for our dads at that garden
where the little boy found the arm.

Kid's amazing, though.
It's almost like... I wish he could be my dad.

Okay, um, your dad's not trying
to find you, your son is.

That kid's your son.
You're the dad, hmm?

I've made a huge tiny mistake.

Gob. You can't just leave your son
in the middle of a parking lot in Reno.

And that's when Michael
saw his own son in a parking lot in Reno.

He drove all the way up here
to be with me. Wow.

Well, I guess I'm, uh...
I'm no better than...

No, I'm better.

They were an hour out of Reno
when George Michael woke up.

You were out like a light, pal.
Our dreams are about to come true.

- Maeby?
- Definitely!

We are going camping.
It's finally happening.

It's never happening.

Michael had just surprised
his sleeping son by taking him camping.

I put this off too long,
and it's too important.

Your Uncle Oscar can stay
in prison one more day, right?

Not according to that
day's blog on imoscar.com.

This here is way more important
than me trying to find my father.

Although, I was very close.
I almost had Pop-Pop in Reno.

Me too.

As Michael was forcibly taking
his son out to the cabin...

Lucille was ready to forcibly throw hers out.

Well, that was a freebie.

Lucille didn't trust herself
to be in the house when Buster returned.

So, she headed off to the cabin
Michael said would be unoccupied.

Tobias, meanwhile, was looking
for a way to make his wife jealous...

by convincing her that he was not only
a Blue Man, but still with Kitty...

when he came across a makeup woman who,
coincidentally, looked a great deal like Kitty.

If this tableau I re-create,
perhaps I can re-snare my mate.

Gee, why wouldn't she want him back?

And Michael and his son arrived
at the cabin in the woods.

Looks like they have
trucked off the bedrooms.

Maybe we'll just set up some sleeping bags
right here in the living room, huh?

Lucille, meanwhile, heard a familiar sound.

- Oh, come on!
- Mother?

What the hell are
you doing back there?

I decided to sleep in the car
so my snoring wouldn't bother you...

and I left that recording of my snoring
so you wouldn't know I'm gone.

We're halfway to the cabin.
I'm gonna drop you by this light.

Or I could come with you. That might be
the exact shot in the arm our relationship needs.

Well, at least I'll have someone
to talk to on the way up.

This is fun, isn't it? This is just like
when we used to live up in the attic.

Yeah.

Or... Or we could
go back to Reno.

Go back to Reno?
You don't wanna be here?

You've been sleeping in the stair car
just so we can spend time together.

That's not totally true though.

- I'm just in the middle of a problem right now.
- Oh, yeah?

- Well, let's talk about it.
- I can't talk about it with you.

- Why not?
- It's about a girl, and you're not gonna like this.

- Is it about Ann?
- No.

Oh. Of course I don't like it.

- I like Ann.
- No, it's just...

It's a problem without an answer.

Well, every problem has an answer.

You're probably just confused because
you're going through all of this alone.

And that's exactly why we need
to spend this time together.

- Yeah, I guess so.
- I know so.

So here's the plan. Tomorrow morning
we're gonna get up early.

Before we tell the cops
that Pop-Pop escaped from prison...

we're gonna go down to the lake,
discuss your girl problem, and it's gonna be fun.

Especially the part about the cops.
All right?

Whatever your problem is with the girl,
we're gonna figure it out.

That's what this place is for.

That, and cheating on Gangy.

- I'm really glad you brought me here, Dad.
- Yeah, we needed this.

And this time, I'm not gonna
let the family drag me away.

The next morning, Michael rose
early to spend the day with his son...

only to find himself, once again,
dragged away by his family.

Dad! What the hell
are you doing?

Sorry. I can't let you let Oscar out
of prison or they'll come for me.

Hey, how do you like the cabin?

On the next Arrested Development.

Lucille arrives at the cabin.

!@%$ me, there's no cabin.

- Mother?
- Oh, my God!

You still doing breakfast burritos?

- Maeby finds someone to help her forget her cousin.
- Being stood up.

- Yeah, me too.
- Her cousin.

- Wanna make out?
- Yeah, sure. Why not?

And Lindsay catches up
with Tobias.

Get your hands off
my husband, Kitty.

Did someone say "husband"?

I want a divorce.

And I would be thrilled to
represent either one of you.

That'll be $50.