Original subtitles

Supergas petroleum enhancer,

January 15,

experiment no. 573, group 6.

What's up?

Supergas works!

Supergas!

It works!

This is a revolution in renewable energy.

I talked to a vc firm. They want to sign on Wednesday.

Right now, I'm leaving for Thailand.

All t need is Mr. zhou's power of attorney,

and we're ready.

Xu lang,

we've been together for 12 years.

I ask you for a divorce,

and your first reaction is to tell me not to affect your business!

This marriage...

Means nothing to you, does it?

You know how much I've put into this project.

Xiao di had an accident.

What happened to her?

She got in a fight with a classmate yesterday...

To prove she had been to ocean park.

That kid shoved her,

she fell, and cracked her head open.

How could this happen?

I promised I would take her to ocean park, why weren't you watching her?

You've already made that promise 7 times.

She's been waiting this whole time.

I can't sign the divorce papers today.

I'm gonna miss my flight.

I can't sign today, really.

And I'm not going to explain again.

I've spent the last four years of my life on this project.

This is everything I have!

I'll talk to you when I get back.

I want only xiao di.

Do you want me to kneel down and beg?

The last time you knelt for me...

Was when you proposed.

How ironic.

Oh my!

Xu, what are you doing?

Get out!

Are you proposing to your wife again?

Aren't you supposed to be in Paris for your honeymoon?

Did you hear anything from Mr. zhou?

No, I didn't.

I heard you talked to a venture capital firm.

No, I haven't.

Then where are you going?

Hong Kong. What?

What for?

Has Mr. zhou contacted you?

No, he hasn't. Do you know where he is?

No. I thought you knew.

No. How did you know I knew?

I don't know you know!

Enjoy your conversation. I'm leaving.

Let go of me.

Didn't you just say you're going to Thailand?

No, I didn't.

I'll say it again, all I want is xiao di.

Let go of me!

Take care!

So you're going to Thailand?

You believe the lies I told my wife?

Mr. zhou is in Thailand.

Xiao man is pregnant, and she's alone in France. How can you not worry about her?

What was that argument about? Who cheated on whom?

We've been married for years. Kneeling is normal.

I don't think that neck of yours is ever going to get better.

Yeah? Don't your teeth hurt too?

Your teeth hurt!

Your phone is charged.

Here's the thai baht.

You're on little red riding hood tours. Business class was sold out.

Gao Bo came back before his honeymoon was over.

That means he has a contract with the French company.

Yes.

We're screwed if he finds Mr. zhou.

Yes.

Keep an eye on him, and call me if he does anything.

Yes, sir!

When is the flight?

Two hours.

Have you heard from the hacker?

The hacker said Mr. zhou is in chiangmai.

I know chiangmai, but where in chiangmai?

Chiangmai's... surrounding regions.

Surrounding regions?

He seems to be in a meditation class at one of the temples.

One of the temples?

Yeah, one of the temples.

You're saying I have to find a temple. In Thailand?

The hacker said he'll check zhou's other email accounts.

So you want me to sleep on the street in Thailand?

No! I'll send you the map soon!

If you can't tell me which wooden fish he's banging in front of which Buddha...

At which temple on which mountain today,

you'll never work in this industry again, got it?

Yes, sir!

Mr. xu, how's your tooth?

Send the map to the big phone. If something comes up, call this one.

Yes, sir!

Hello, xiao di?

Listen, when I get back from Thailand, I'll take you to ocean park.

I don't believe you!

Sweetie, dad's sorry, really.

Liar!

I mean it this time.

The girls say I don't have a dad!

Well, don't listen to them!

Hello?

Lili!

Yeah, hi.

I still don't have the map. When am I gonna get it?

Guess!

Listen to me,

if I go to Thailand with no map,

just the words "somewhere in chiangmai”, what am I gonna do?

Ladyboys!

What else would you do?

Don't worry! I'll bring one back for you!

I have to go now. Send me the map asap!

Oh, you bet I will! Bye!

Whoa!

That's a big screen!

Sorry. Sorry, sorry...

Hello?

You have the address? Good! Send it to me right now!

Hey, we're taking off.

The phone signal interferes with the plane's radio.

What if we crash?

Turn it off.

I know! I don't need you to tell me that.

Then turn it off.

How can I help you, sir?

His phone is still on!

What are you doing?

Your phone is still on.

It's dangerous to keep it on, you know.

Sir, please power off your phone and other electronic devices.

Yes, I will. Just a second.

I'm sorry, sir. Please turn off your phone now.

She doesn't buy it!

It's dangerous to leave it on. Think about all these people's lives.

Come on, turn it off.

Thank you for your cooperation.

It's ok.

The first time I flew, I didn't know either.

I fly all the time.

So what do you do?

I make onion pancakes!

My weibo handle is "bao's onion pancake chronicles."

Do you have a weibo? Let's friend each other.

I've turned off my phone.

It's ok. We can do it when we land.

This is the entry form.

Please fill it out.

This is the entry form.

Please fill it out.

Hey, what's your name?

What do you want?

Can you tell me what this says?

What should I write here?

Give me your passport.

Thanks you!

Why do you keep everything in plastic bags?

My mom said that it rains a lot in Thailand,

you have to waterproof before you get there.

Wang bao?

You can call me baobao.

The purpose of your trip to Thailand?

Well, look, this is my to-do list!

First I want to see the Taj Mahal, and then...

Whoa, hold on.

The Taj Mahal is in India!

Oh, well, I'll scratch that off, then.

I'm gonna get a massage, ride an elephant,

go swimming, worship Buddha,

and I'm going to fight a thai kickboxer!

And to plant my health tree.

Ok, ok, we don't have to write all that.

Just "travel" is fine.

I'm gonna see a ladyboy show too!

Look! Ladyboys!

Is this a ladyboy too?

No. That's my girlfriend.

This is your girlfriend?

Yeah.

This is fan bingbing!

Yeah! Fan bingbing is my girlfriend.

Fan bingbing is your girlfriend?

Yeah!

You cut this out of a magazine.

No, I didn't.

I got it from a newspaper.

Whatever's wrong with you, you need some pills.

How did you know it was time?

How can I help you, sir?

Can I have some water?

Yes, sir. I'll be right back.

Lili,

I just landed at Bangkok.

I couldn't download the map on the plane.

Send it again, alright?

Hang on.

I think my phone has a virus.

Hey, can you take a picture of me?

Hey!

Please! Take a picture of me!

Ok, ok. Here.

Thanks.

Can you hold this for me? I need to use the bathroom.

Thanks!

Hey...

I have a weak signal on my phone here. Email it to me.

Tour guide!

Do you know any earlier flights to chiangmai?

You aren't coming with us?

No, I have an emergency.

Hold on, let me check.

Nothing here, Don mueang airport has a flight.

But you need to hurry, the flight leaves in an hour.

Ok, got it.

There are just the two airports in Bangkok?

Yes. And I can't refund your booking fee.

That's fine.

Hey!

Hey!

Sorry to keep you waiting so long.

Where the hell have you been?

Hey, you know what, I saw a spy in the bathroom!

Lunatic.

Seriously! He was talking on the phone...

About putting viruses into cell phones and GPS tracking.

Hey, are you ok?

What are you doing?

Aren't you coming with us?

Bye!

Bye!

Wang bao!

Hurry!

You can call me baobao.

Wang bao, I'm heading chiangmai for some business.

It was a chance acquaintance.

Very nice meeting you.

Next time I visit Beijing, I've got to try your onion pancakes.

You have to promise!

Yeah.

Why don't you write down my number?

No need. I'll find you when I'm in Beijing.

But how are you gonna find me if you don't know my number?

Come on, write that down.

Fine, go ahead.

You might need a pen. My number is not easy to remember.

I have a good memory.

Just say it.

It's 137970767017.

Can you repeat it?

I think I have memorized it. See you in Beijing!

Remember to call me, and I'll have your number!

Enjoy your life with fan bingbing!

Hey!

I'm sorry.

I lied to you.

The truth is,

fan bingbing is not my girlfriend yet.

Ok, I got it. Have a good trip! Bye!

My mom likes fan bingbing.

Bye!

She's a huge fan fan!

Bye!

Go that way. Be quick!

No, no, no.

Calm down.

No police, no camera!

Just relax.

Use loudspeaker!

No, no.

Gentlemen don't honk their horns. Relax.

Calm down...

I've no time to calm down!

Calm down.

Now you're Japanese...

I am not Japanese. I am Chinese!

Chinese people are always in a hurry.

Thai people are always lazy.

Where in China?

Beijing.

Beijing?

The traffic in Beijing is much worse!

This is Thailand. Calm down...

Please...

Sorry, you can't buy any ticket when you don't have your passport.

Ok, tell me the fastest way to chiangmai?

By train, and tomorrow morning, half one.

Train without a passport is ok?

Yes, sir.

And hotel?

No.

Ok.

Did you lose something?

You can't find it, can you?

Well, I got it!

I was wondering...

Why your phone was in my pocket.

Who told you to bring it back?

The team leader told me you were here.

I almost lost you. Here's your phone.

I don't need it. Take it, as a gift. Now go!

No, I can't. My mom says I can't take what I haven't earned.

Didn't your mom tell you obedience is better than politeness?

My mom told me to be kind and do the right thing whenever possible.

You are unbelievable!

Are you being sarcastic?

No. That was a compliment.

Then could you lend me some money?

Have you lost your mind?

How did you know that?

I forgot my wallet this morning. When I found out, it's too late.

And I had to take a cab to catch you.

The cab driver is waiting for me to pay.

I promise I'll pay you back later.

That's enough. Thanks!

Hey, wang bao!

Do you have your passport?

Yes, I do. Do you?

I'm sorry, wang bao.

I was rude just now.

It doesn't matter.

Listen, from now on, we're traveling together.

We'll go to chiangmai together.

You don't have to.

You already paid for my cab.

You don't have any money and you've been left behind.

How are you gonna finish your list?

Where are you going to stay?

Let me pay for your hotel room.

People have to help each other when they leave their home.

Just like a team.

My name is xu lang.

I am baobao.

But my mom says, if it's too good to be true...

Did your mom ever tell you...

That most people in the world are good?

Well, then... what should we name our team?

Thailand legend.

Do you maybe have anything better?

How about potato and mushroom?

Forget it, let's stick to Thailand legend.

Can I have your passport, sir?

Just a moment.

Ok.

Give me your passport.

I have the membership card.

Stop taking pictures.

Get the chair in the picture, too.

Why?

Just get it in the shot.

The peace sign has to be the lamest gesture in the world.

Let's go see a ladyboy show!

They're just a bunch of guys. How is that supposed to be entertaining?

What?

Ladyboys are actually guys?

What are you doing in Thailand if you didn't even know that?

How do they do it?

Does your phone have 3g?

No.

Can it get online with WiFi?

Sure. I just posted on weibo, for free!

Hey, look, a massage!

Spa!

Let's go shopping!

Nope!

How about a massage treatment?

Nope!

How about dinner?

Nope!

Jeez!

I'll pay the money back!

I can't think about it right now.

But I'm hungry.

Go get dinner then.

I've no money.

Help yourself.

I don't speak english. I can't order.

This is your hotel, right?

Yes, sir.

I've booked a room.

And can you tell me if there were anyone using the same card to check in?

Wait a moment, sir.

Yes, there's one.

This man is my workmate.

Today is his birthday.

I wanna give him a surprise.

I need to speak to him.

Ok.

It went through.

He's not in.

You came here to have a vacation.

Why is fighting a thai kickboxer an item on your to-do list?

I've talked to fan bingbing's agent.

He said I can be her personal bodyguard...

If I win a match against a thai kickboxer.

When I do,

I'll make her onion pancakes every day.

Well, she can't eat that 365 days in a row.

You don't understand, onion pancakes sound easy,

but there are special ways to knead the dough.

And you need to know whether to use unleavened, leavened or steamed dough,

what kind of spring onions to use,

and whether to grill, roast, steam or fry...

Ok, ok,

how much do you sell them for?

It's 2.5 yuan.

What do the ingredients cost?

Less than 1 yuan.

How many can you sell a day?

About 800.

That's a lot!

That's on a slow day.

Your net profit is 26,000 a month.

You could make more money if you franchised it.

That's right!

If you had 100 franchisees in Beijing, with a 5,000 monthly franchise fee,

you'd have 500,000 yuan a month from franchising,

and 6 million a year.

That's right!

If there were 5,000 stores all over the country,

you could make 300 million yuan a year!

Yeah! That's right!

You could be on the stock market in 2 years!

That's right, I could!

How about selling me the recipe?

Good.

My recipe is...

I have to make them myself.

No hiring anyone, no freezing them,

they have to be fresh out of the oven.

You'll be making onion pancakes for the rest of your life, you know.

Exactly!

I love making onion pancakes!

Let me show you something cool.

Excuse me.

- Please. - Ok.

What is this?

When you get gas from the gas station,

when your tank is two thirds full,

add two drops of this,

supergas petroleum enhancer,

and your gas tank will be full.

This is renewable energy.

It makes fossil fuels more efficient.

This is science, understand?

I know.

So now you know what my job is.

Of course.

You work for a TV shopping network!

Do you think ladyboys...

Were born as ladyboys?

There're two behind you actually.

Don't look back now!

Wow! They're sexy!

Don't take any picture!

What are you doing?

Sorry, sorry...

Sit your ass down!

He started it.

- That's enough. - Ok.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Shit!

Someone posted at me on weibo.

Let me see.

Did you post the hotel picture?

Yeah!

Why did you tag me in the post?

You have more followers than I do.

Delete it, now!

Why?

I don't want people to know where I am. Delete it!

You're super boring, you know that?

Be careful with your posts from now on, ok?

What's your star sign?

Wait a moment.

Thank you.

Do you think she is a ladyboy?

In Thailand, every beautiful woman walking on the street is definitely a ladyboy.

You're sure enough to bet?

Of course! You got the guts to ask?

Do you?

Of course I do! Do you?

Of course!

Then ask!

Hello!

I was in the elevator.

There were two idiots back there...

Come here.

Come over here!

Do you see that guy?

Follow him and find out which room he's staying in.

Don't expose yourself.

Be quick.

What for?

I'll tell you when you come back. Just go!

Hurry!

I saw him!

He was the spy at the airport bathroom!

I know.

But which room is he in?

Go check again!

Which one is it? 2207 or 2209?

I don't remember.

One of the two anyways.

Baobao.

What?

Can you do me a favor?

What is it?

Would you go to that guy's room again...

And take his passport?

Why do you want his passport? You know you can't use it.

I don't want to use it. I just want to take it away from him.

Why?

He follows me wherever I go.

Do you know why?

Why?

He wants to hurt me.

Why would he do that?

Because...

I cuckolded him.

You slept with him?

I slept with his wife.

You slept with his wife?

She seduced me first.

She seduced you first?

But we really do love each other.

You really do love each other?

Can you stop copying me?

How could you do that?

It was my fault,

but he wants to murder me now.

If he gets me,

you won't accomplish anything on your list.

And it was your damn weibo post...

That led him here.

Don't you think you should make it up to me?

May I remind you that...

We're a team,

Thailand legend.

Excuse me, sir?

I have to go and get some oil.

Just a moment, please.

Fine.

Hello.

Come on.

Come on.

Oh, baby!

Lower.

Oh, quickly, please.

- Girls, let's clean it up. - Yeah, take a shower.

Hello!

Where's the train?

Are you gonna carry that damn cactus everywhere?

You don't get it.

It's a cactus now,

but once you plant it in the temple, it will become a health tree...

That wards off disease and bad luck.

Give me the phone.

Where's the map I downloaded last night?

I deleted it.

Why'd you do that?

You told me to!

I told you to delete the weibo post, not the map!

Why didn't you make it clear?

Well, you have a computer, don't you?

My network card works only in China.

You can buy a phone card that works here.

Watch my bag and don't go away.

I'm gonna get a phone card.

Then tell me,

did you get beat up by ladyboys last night?

Who's the kid?

Leave me alone, ok?

You're married?

Mind your own business.

You've had a kid already?

So?

You've been having an affair with someone else's wife!

That was a lie.

Then why don't you pick up the phone?

- Hello? - Where are you?

What are you doing?

Hello?

I'm filing the divorce papers in two days.

I can't..I can't hear you...

She wants a divorce, I heard that.

Can you hear me now?

Ten in the morning, haidian courthouse. Be there.

And...

How is xiao di?

Do you even care?

Well, I'm in Thailand right now.

I don't care where you are! Be there on time.

Ann, why can't you just try and understand?

I'm in Thailand now and I'm in serious trouble.

I lost my passport.

My phone's about to die.

I'm on a train now.

Listen, I'll never believe you again.

Was that your wife?

Does she know about your affair?

Say something!

Give it back!

Answer me!

Give it back!

You're married. Why did you do that?

Give it back. It's an order!

Who's the kid?

Listen...

I'm so sorry.

We've just met yesterday.

We're not friends, we didn't even know each other.

I came to Thailand for a contract worth some hundred million yuan,

you hear that?

Don't talk about that damn team 'cause there's none!

And don't talk to me from now on, not a single word, ok?

Seriously, what is your star sign?

You may have a split personality.

Have a good trip, sir.

See you.

Where is this place?

You can talk now.

Do you know where that is?

That's where I wanted to go.

Can see that?

Please?

Baobao...

Why would I help you since we are not friends?

See, you don't have any money,

you can't speak english.

How are you gonna finish your list?

Admit that you were wrong, then.

Yeah, I know. I was wrong.

Promise you'll help me plant the health tree.

Yeah.

Help me finish my list.

Sure.

And help me take pictures.

No problem.

Many pictures!

Of course!

Now swear you'll never cuckold anyone again.

I never did!

Swear!

I will never...

Cuckold anyone...

Ever!

What did you say? I can't hear you.

I will never cuckold anyone ever!

Without storms and troubles

how can legends arise

I'll be here waiting for you

wherever you go

whatever you do

I'll be there with you

I'll be there with you

these are everywhere in China.

Why is it so interesting?

These are thai fish!

I am gonna buy a hat.

Be back soon.

Sir, three kilometers.

What?

Three kilometers!

- Three kilometers? - Yeah.

He didn't tell you where he was going?

You don't understand, we're together.

The one who took pictures of me.

I can't find him. I need to find him, but I can't.

@♪&$♪%♪ ♪♪1@$♪♪@

fine! I...

What are you doing here?

So you know me.

No, no, I don't.

I... I don't know you.

Where is he?

Who are you talking about?

Don't play the fool with me, boy.

You're his tour guide?

Where is he?

I don't know.

Where is he?

I really don't know.

I have some private business with him. It's really important.

Hello.

I come from China.

I'm looking for Mr. zhou.

Follow me.

I know everything between you two.

He told you everything, huh?

With this kind of issue,

he's not the only one to blame.

My mom said...

It takes two to tango.

Life is like a game of chess,

you don't know who's going to win.

And I got used to it a long time ago.

You're used to it?

So that means your wife is the problem.

Why is this has anything to do with her?

It was your wife that seduced him first.

Huh?

What they had is true love.

What?

But don't worry,

I've made him swear,

he'll never cuckold you again.

You didn't know about this?

Boss, he's here.

Mr. zhou, someone is here to see you.

Mr. zhou?

You're sure? You want everything?

That's right.

Yeah.

Who are you?

I come from China.

I'm looking for Mr. zhou.

This is Mr. zhou.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm here for zhou Yang.

Mr. Yang zhou?

I don't know who he is.

You said nobody would disturb us!

I thought this was a temple.

Hey!

Don't let him leave!

I'm sorry. I was mistaken.

I'm sorry!

Why did you leave me without notice?!

Why are you here?

I know.

You wanna break up with me, right?

Can you keep it down?

I'm yelling, so what, dammit!

Shh!

Don't shush me!

You have no right to shush me!

Who is he?

I..i don't know him.

What?

I said we shouldn't come today.

We slept in the same room last night!

I told you not to let outsiders in!

Why did you leave me?!

Calm down.

Tell me why!!

Can you shut up now?

No, I can't!

Just calm down, alright?

Calm my ass!

Where did you get this postcard?

Why did you leave me?!

It's faulse information! This is not where I intended to go!

I'm not your tour guide!

This is not a temple!

How is this not a temple?

Gao Bo, still hot on the trail, I see.

Xu lang!

You're going all out to get me every possible way you can, aren't you?

Listen, this is not the place for a scene.

Why not?

You don't play by any rules, I see.

Leave! Now!

Oh, what? You think I'm afraid of you?

Don't get physical, alright?

Now I know why you had to kneel to your wife.

What are you talking about?

What am I talking about?

Was it the Shanghai trip?

What about Shanghai?

Will you stop pretending already?

Pretending what?

Just admit it!

What?

Don't you dare avoid my question!

We are not done!

Where's Mr. zhou?

Right here!

He's not Mr. zhou.

Of course I know he's not.

He is Mr. zhou.

Who are you?

It's none of your business! Who the hell are you?

You don't even know who I am?

Why would I care?

Who is he?

He's Mr. zhou.

No, he's not.

He said he's zhou.

This is not the one I'm looking for.

So which Mr. zhou are you looking for?

It's none of your business!

Are you nuts?

Don't you feel something is not right here?

Nothing is ever right between us!

I swear to god...

- That time in Shanghai... - Let go of me!

Get your hands off me!

You think I'm blind?

It's dangerous here!

We were friends, and I just got married...

Let go! Don't you see something is wrong?

You had fun with the ladyboys in the hotel, on my bill!

I'm gonna kill you!

They're cops!

Quiet!

It was just an affair!

My mom used to say,

give way...

And get a way.

You know kung fu?

I told you I'm here for thai boxing.

So go fight them!

That was the only move I know.

You got a bodyguard, huh?

Don't follow me, you prat!

It's that undercover cop! The bald one!

Don't move!

Nobody move!

Easy, easy.

Interpret for me.

The rest of you, over there!

Everybody, step back!

Step back!

You two, come over here.

Wang bao! Out!

You guys go.

Just go, you idiot!

Back!

Go.

This way!

They're coming that way!

What's that in your hand?

Your suitcase!

This is my suitcase!

Then whose is this?

You're unbelievable! Why don't you just kill me and get it over with?

No! No! No!

This way.

Give me the suitcase!

Calm down. Calm down.

Stop. Stop.

The car is at the back gate!

Come on!

Hurry up!

I haven't got the key.

It's here.

What do you do for a living exactly?

Where's the car?

This way.

Stop it! Stop right there!

Taaah!

Wo-daaa!

Daaah!

Supergas!

Don't come any closer!

I'm warning you!

Don't hit me, please!

Help!!

Where are we going?

How would I know?

You led the way!

I didn't do it on purpose.

You, on the other hand, abandoned me, on purpose!

You led us to the wrong direction, you deleted my map.

You did everything on purpose, didn't you?

Did someone kick you in the head?

Did you put a curse on me?

I was just trying to help.

Trying to help my ass!

They almost killed me!

You've got your own problems!

What?

You slept with his wife!

Bullshit!

And you set him up!

He deserved it!

They might kill him!

Why do you stop?

What are you doing?

I'm gonna go back to save him!

What on earth is the relationship between you two?

We work together,

but we're like enemies.

Now we're both looking for the same guy,

our boss.

Whoever finds him gets to win...

While the other loses everything.

You'll still have me!

Who the hell are you?

I'm baobao.

Don't you remember, we're a team!

Team?

What team? U2?

You gave me your phone.

That was because it had a virus which he used to track me.

I put it in your bag to get away from him.

You paid for my hotel room.

Right?

And you paid for my taxi.

You paid everything for me at the airport.

I've been using you, you fool!

Go away!

I'll see you in court, 9 A.M., the day after tomorrow.

I'm taking xiao di to Shanghai with me.

I'm lost.

Hey!

I found a town over there!

Why do you come back to me?

I have no money!

Xiao man,

two things.

First, send me some money.

Where the hell have you been, asshole?

Don't use that tone of voice with me.

What did you say?!

We'll talk about the other issue when I get back.

What issue?

I think you know exactly what issue I'm talking about!

What's wrong with you?

Let's talk about xu lang.

What about xu lang?

Tell me, who is your baby's father?

You bastard!

Is this the second thing you wanted to talk about?

I'm gonna abort this baby right now!

Go to hell!

It's done.

Yeah, it went well.

At first he didn't want to pay, so we beat him up...

It's water splashing festival.

They will light up kongming lanterns tonight.

Let's go have some fun.

No, thanks. You have a good time.

The car won't be ready today, seriously.

How do you know?

Today, not ok.

Tomorrow morning, ok.

See, I'm right!

We're not going anywhere today.

Come on! Let's go have some fun.

You go have your fun. Don't bother me.

Why are you so gloomy?

I'd take your brain out and wash it.

Just go play, alright?

I'll wash my it myself.

Do you have WiFi here?

Follow me.

No, no, no.

No, no, no, computer, computer.

No, no, no, no! Computer!

Leave me alone, ok?

Brainwash time!

I just wanted to help you loosen up...

It's ok.

I'm used to it already.

I'm very sorry.

You want this?

Yes! How do you go?

Follow me. Village chief knows.

Wake up! Wake up!

Where's the map?

Well, you had it.

Were you looking at the map last night?

I'll go find it.

Hey, dude, calm down.

Xu lang, you crossed the line here!

Look, put the knife down.

It's a commercial dispute, no one needs to get hurt.

Hurt?

You wanna talk about hurt?

How the hell did you follow me here?

Where's the map?

What map?

Don't beat around the bush.

Here's the map!

We'll talk about you sleeping with my wife...

Once I get the letter of attorney.

Gao Bo, listen...

Calm down...

You're a total jerk!

Actually he never slept with your wife!

Shut up, sucker!

You know kung fu, don't you?

Why not kick him?

I can't lift my leg without something to step on.

A decaliter of gas, consumption efficiency 30%...

That's 5km.

You, step away from the map.

There's still a chance.

We can catch him.

How?

This.

One.

Let's go! Come on!

Hurry!

Get in the car!

Have some water.

Thank you.

Is it ready?

No, I can't start it.

It usually works in movies.

Drip two drops into the gas tank.

Just two drops.

Done!

We can't go without the key.

How tall are you?

I'm not being suspicious,

I'm just asking.

What's to ask?

So you're saying I don't even have the right to ask?

I don't have the right to know?

What do you want to know?

Are you going to tell me or not?

Now, listen.

Ok, first, calm down,

and then, think about this.

We've tried so many times before,

and it never worked!

How come this time it worked? Just once, and you got pregnant!

That's your issue, right?

Damn it.

Did you just swear at me?

Don't let me catch you again!

Shit.

In english?

It's not you.

Then who are you cursing?

I'm pregnant, all alone in a strange country!

Yeah, I know that.

You don't know nothing!

You do know there are some principles and moral standars, right?

- Principles? - Am I right?

Alright, tell me your principles!

What the fuck...

You want things to get messy, don't you?

I don't. And I was not swearing at you!

Then whom?

Don't you dare swear at me again!

Scum bag.

You motherfu...

Thief! Thief!

Calling unit 1, unit 1,

the thief is wearing black.

No! No! No!

You idiot! Get in the car.

Speak english?

French?

Damn it!

They're the ones who took it, I swear!

You guys have to go get him!

Go! Go! Go!

Look, I can't cooperate, I'm sorry.

I... 1.. Forget it.

He's following us!

I told you to get the key of the trike!

I thought we were gonna drive it, so I left the key.

Then why do you think we had to steal this key?

I don't know, why?

The road's blocked!

I know.

Chickens! Look out for the chickens!

I see!

This feels like we're in an action movie!

What's wrong?

There's smoke coming out of the hood!

How many drops did you add?

The whole bottle.

What?!

Are you good for anything besides your damn onion pancakes?

Donkey-meat sandwiches, noodles, dough drop soup...

Oh, and pizza!

This is indeed a bumpy ride!

Shut up!

It was fun!

Shut up!

Let's ride an elephant to cross the river.

Hurry!

Sorry! Sorry!

Here, take the money!

Money! Money! Money!

Elephant! Elephant!

One thousand baht!

Hurry!

Hey!

Nice helmet!

Hurry! Hurry!

Come on! Take a picture of him!

You're a pilot!

Say cheese!

Yeah!

Yeah, keep showing off!

Help!

You're doing a gay porn...

Don't grab me!

My health tree!

Let it go! We don't have time for that!

You're unbelievable!

Let go...

Don't push my head!

Let go!

Help!

My head!

Stop it!

Help! I can't swim!

Where are we?

Thailand.

Help! Help!

Hurry!

Help! Help!

What the hell are you doing?

What?

Did god send you to torture me?

I make onion pancakes for a living.

Just calm down.

Are you fucking kidding me?

You're the most stupid living thing I've ever met!

Is this journey to the west?

Getting the letter of attorney is harder than getting the sutras!

Take it easy.

Seriously, where the hell did you come from?

I'm done! I don't want any of it!

Don't do this.

I don't want it anymore!

Calm down, please!

There! I smashed it! Happy?

Are you happy now?

You slapped me?!

Feel better?

You slapped me!

When I was acting crazy, my mom would slap me to calm me down.

Did your mother slap you right after you were born?

Was that how she brought you to this world?

I'm warning you, you can say anything about me, but not my mother!

I just did!

Like mother, like son. That's what my mom says.

Enough! Enough!

What are you doing?

Wo-taaaah!

I'm sorry. I kicked you too hard.

I told you,

I know kung fu.

Journey to the west!

Dude...

Hey...

You're the red boy!

You're lunatic.

I'm xuanzang!

You must be insane.

Are you alright?

Don't move.

Just let me cry for a bit.

Don't move!

Beat it! Beat it!

Ready?

This kind of leaf is capable of disinfection.

My grandpa taught me.

Don't tell anyone about this, ever.

Trust me,

I won't post it on weibo.

I invented supergas.

I've been working on it for four years.

Once the company becomes listed, the profits will be incredible.

Gao Bo and I had different opinions about the commercial strategy.

He wanted to sell supergas right away to the French.

I wanted to keep working on it,

because I knew it was not perfect yet.

Mr. zhou is the biggest shareholder,

and we have to find him to get the letter of attorney.

The letter of attorney is kind of a passport...

To wealth...

And a great future.

This knife was a gift. I gave him when we were in college.

Thanks to supergas,

we're enemies now.

It cost me too much.

Now, even my family is leaving me.

Well, you won't understand anyway.

What are you writing?

A travel journal.

So you're writing the tragic story of my life?

No, I'm not.

Look,

tonight,

we're grilling snake flesh in the jungle.

Did you ever see that coming?

Life is always unexpected.

Everybody has the experience of feeling lost.

But, from what I see, you're not completely lost.

You can fix things with your wife.

Easier said than done.

Is it really that hard?

What?

Call your wife.

No! Stop it.

Just call her.

What am I gonna say to her?

Anything you want.

Go ahead.

Hello?

International direct dialing has not been activated for this number.

Are you alright?

My health tree is dead!

How did that happen?

Is supergas toxic?

Of course not.

Maybe... maybe you watered it too much?

Come on. It's across the bridge.

What's left to be done on your list?

No health tree planting anymore,

so just thai boxing.

You're not gonna do that.

Come on. Let's take a photo here.

It doesn't work.

Let's see...

The memory card is full.

Help me put those back.

I saw a spy in the bathroom.

I got it!

I forgot my wallet this morning.

Where's the map?

Here's the map!

It's ready. Here.

What is this?

What is this?

You're with gao Bo, aren't you?

Nonesense. Come on, take a picture.

No wonder he could follow me.

Am [in a spy movie?

What spy movie?

Can you tell me...

Why there is a GPS tracker...

In your bag?

This is a GPS tracker?

Why did you come to Thailand anyway?

For traveling.

You've been with me the whole time, and you call that traveling?

I dropped out of the tour group...

And I got no money.

And this?

Whose money is it?

Gao Bo's.

Listen, I...

I'm giving you one last chance.

Why did you come to Thailand?

I'm here for a honeymoon.

With whom?

With fan bingbing?

How do you know?

Where is she then?

She's in my heart.

Didn't I tell you my mom...

Is a huge fan of fan!

Being obsessed with actress at her age?

A fan of fan?

Do you think I'm an idiot?

No, I...

Why would I lie to you?

Your whole family are nuts, right?

I'm warning you,

you can say anything about me,

but not my mom!

You're nuts!

So is your mother!

Don't you dare say that about my mom!

Liar.

Mom, my honeymoon with bingbing is officially underway.

In Bangkok, we stayed in the world's best hotel,

and we had thai onion pancakes...

Called Tom yum goong pizza.

We took a lot of pictures together.

Bingbing said...

I should start a bao's onion pancake franchise.

Once it goes on the market, I'd be ceo.

We took a ride on the thai train,

the bus, the tuk-tuks,

and the thai trishaw.

We went to a thai foot massage parlor, had the fish pedicure treatment.

We rode an elephant.

Bingbing loved it!

She said elephant is the symbol of good fortune.

Oh, right.

It was the local water splashing festival.

We lit up kongming lanterns...

In a temple located on the mountaintop.

At that moment,

I realized...

That I was living the best time of my life.

When we plant the health tree...

In the temple,

you'll get better, I know it.

You'll become the healthiest and happiest mom.

And you'll have a grandson before long.

Mom, we love you.

They'll rebuild this temple soon.

Are you Mr. xu?

You are Chinese?

Mr. zhou and I are in the same meditation class.

For now, I'm helping around the temple here.

He said you would come when he left.

So he's back in Beijing?

Yeah. And he left something for you.

Just a moment.

Xu lang,

you son of a bitch!

Where's zhou?

He went back to Beijing.

Give me the letter of attorney.

I didn't get it.

You might as well forget about it.

That's hilarious!

We're gonna settle this today.

Where's your bodyguard?

I don't have one.

Here's your money. I didn't spend a penny of it!

Shit!

I came back to tell you,

if I were on his side,

I wouldn't have told you there was a spy at the airport.

What spy?

You!

Baobao,

I'm sorry.

Gao Bo...

Cut the crap!

Give me the letter of attorney.

I don't have it.

You must be gao Bo?

Mr. zhou left this for both of you.

He wanted you to decide who gets it.

So you know thai boxing?

I'm here to fight, you know.

My mom said...

Wait!

Let go!

You can't have it!

Get lost!

Supergas has a problem!

You have a problem!

Help me!

I need help, too.

Take a picture of me!

Give him a Sunday punch!

I need something to step on!

Thailand legend!

Saaaaay cheeeeeese!

You got it?

Take a look.

Zhou knew we'd fight over it.

This contract becomes effective only if both of us sign it.

That actually makes things easier.

Name your terms.

Come on, xu!

We can work as a team.

I've made a deal with the French already.

All you need to do is sign your name.

How about 20-807?

Well, 30-70?

Ok, 40-60.

Fine! 50-50!

Don't get greedy!

Fine, xu lang,

I'll do it your way, ok?

Just like you said, we take the long view.

We'll take the venture capital...

And keep researching and developing.

I know there's something wrong with supergas.

Let's work it out.

You're the boss, okay?

How is the shot?

It's a good one!

Only one thing left on the list.

The health tree.

What do think?

I've decided...

To give it up.

You should keep the knife.

You know,

it is a fresh start.

Let's go, bao.

Your wife and I... Nothing happened, really.

Have a good life together.

I'm telling you, he and your wife...

Mr. xu, a taxi driver had found your passport.

Wait here for a moment, please.

Ann, it's me.

Maybe you're already on the plane now.

I know you're taking xiao di with you, and you'd be far far away from me.

I just have one request,

please let me take her to ocean park.

I gave up the letter of attorney thing.

I gave it all up.

It just came to me that I'd have nothing if I didn't do that.

Can you give me one last chance?

Ann, I'm sorry.

I miss you so much. You're really important to me.

I'm sorry for what I did.

I'm sorry...

I asked xiao di...

Who she'd choose to live with...

If we got a divorce.

Guess what she said.

She said she wants you.

She didn't want us to break up.

Hi, baobao?

Yeah, that's me!

Know who this is?

Xu lang!

I want to try your onion pancakes. Can you deliver some?

Yeah! Sure!

Give me your address.

Wear something nice, we'll take some pictures together.

Huh? Pictures why?

Dad,

will you take me to ocean park again?

Sure. If my angel likes.

Do you regret giving up supergas?

It was like that tooth.

After wang bao kicked it away, it didn't hurt anymore.

Why am [ Wearing this?

Here.

What do you think? Is this ok?

We didn't get to the beach last time, so this time I wanna make it up to you.

What pose do you want?

Anything but the peace sign.

It's fine. It's not a fashion shoot, it's for his honeymoon.

My honeymoon?

With whom?

Hi, I'm fan bingbing.

You... you are?

Fan bingbing.

You're fan... fan... fan...

I heard that you wanted to go on a honeymoon with me, right?

Ho... ho... honeymoon?

Can we...

Take some pictures together?

Pic... pictures?

Come here.

Come on. Put your arm around me.

Put... put... put my arm around you?

Would you stop being so nervous?

Put your arm here and look at the camera.

I'm done.

Can you do backrubs?

Come on.

Happy?

So happy that I could die!

Oh, right.

Remember when you told me to take gao Bo's passport from his room?

I forgot.

I thought I didn't have it.

Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!

Push, xiao man! Push!

It's out?

Boy or girl?

Does it look like me? Does it have any hair?