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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 06:00:01,000 --> 00:00:01,000 ... 2 00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:03,000 Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of 3 00:00:03,002 --> 00:00:04,602 a live studio audience. 4 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,500 The moment we've all been waiting for is finally here. 5 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:11,510 Tonight, on the most dramatic episode 6 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,979 in the history of this series... 7 00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:17,749 You don't have to shout. I'm right here. 8 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,451 I'm sorry, Joy. Um, look... 9 00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:22,688 You're about to embark on an incredible journey. 10 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:23,555 Tell us about it. 11 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:26,124 Well, every year, for our fake birthdays, 12 00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:27,526 my friends and I fix each other up. 13 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:31,697 Four women, four dates. There's a chance no one's heart 14 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,132 is gonna be broken here. Where's the fun in that? 15 00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:37,434 Oh, there's always plenty of heartbreak. 16 00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:39,304 But this year's going to be different. 17 00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:41,573 Do you say that every year? 18 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:42,275 Yes. 19 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:44,576 But this year really is going to be different. 20 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:48,113 Do you also say that every year? 21 00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:49,748 Yes. 22 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:50,916 Just tell me about the dates. 23 00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:54,653 Well, Elka wanted us to track down Stan, her first love, 24 00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:57,189 who she left behind in Poland 70 years ago. 25 00:00:57,191 --> 00:01:02,261 He was Mr. Sour Cream when I was Miss Teen Potato. 26 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,799 When the villagers laid him on top of me 27 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:09,935 and wrapped us in tinfoil... 28 00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:15,440 Well, one thing led to another. 29 00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,476 So, what kind of ritual is that? 30 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:21,847 Well, it was supposed to keep the Germans away. 31 00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:26,952 In hindsight, we should've invested in tanks. 32 00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:31,223 Victoria wanted us to set her up with a male model 33 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,691 she saw in Cleveland magazine. 34 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:37,029 Well, I don't care about romance. All I want is beauty. 35 00:01:37,031 --> 00:01:38,764 You say that every year. 36 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:41,066 Yeah, well, I have yet to get it. 37 00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:45,103 I have put up with man boobs, conjoined twins... 38 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:48,073 Webbing, and tails. 39 00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:49,908 What's so weird about a guy with a tail? 40 00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:54,079 You know, many prominent, sexy entertainment personalities 41 00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:56,881 - have tails. - Oh, my God, do you mean you... 42 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:59,284 Hey, you know, uh, why don't you just tell me about 43 00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:00,600 the date with Melanie. 44 00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:03,800 Well, she wanted a guy who called into her radio show, 45 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:06,825 looking for advice for his shyness with women. 46 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,460 So, I told him to see a counselor. 47 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,296 And then, a week later, he calls back off the air 48 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,966 and he was just so grateful and sweet, 49 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,500 and incredibly perceptive. 50 00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:16,802 What exactly did he say? 51 00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,804 He said I was beautiful and smart. 52 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,909 Well, I wish you luck with your desperate 53 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,711 little dating capers. 54 00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:27,446 I, of course, will be with Mitch, 55 00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:30,916 the man I love, and who, in an unusual twist, 56 00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:32,417 loves me back. 57 00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,019 So, don't even bother wishing me luck, 58 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:37,756 because, for once in my life, I don't need it. 59 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,925 So you rubbed it in your friends' faces 60 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,827 by saying you had the perfect date. 61 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,595 And then you tempted fate by saying 62 00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:46,331 nothing could possibly go wrong for you. 63 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:50,569 In retrospect, you wish you hadn't done that? 64 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:54,773 I do. I really do. 65 00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:59,378 ♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba ♪ 66 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,447 ♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba ♪ 67 00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:03,649 ♪ Hey! ♪ 68 00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:06,180 So you're an actual rocket scientist? 69 00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:07,120 Why didn't you tell me? 70 00:03:07,122 --> 00:03:09,252 Well, when you tell people you're a rocket scientist, 71 00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:12,956 they assume you're brilliant. It's a lot to live up to. 72 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,093 - So are you brilliant? - I kind of am, yeah. 73 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,328 Oh. 74 00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:18,397 Brian, I'm having such a good time. 75 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:21,566 Oh, me too. The world... 76 00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:23,735 Disappears when I look at you. 77 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,237 Oh, Brian. 78 00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:27,773 Someone's gotten over their shyness, huh? 79 00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:30,942 Oh, sorry I'm late. How are things going? 80 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:35,047 Uh, great, I think. Uh, things are going great, right? 81 00:03:38,117 --> 00:03:40,217 I... yeah. Um, Brian, who is this? 82 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,753 I'm sorry, Melanie, this is Marcy. 83 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:45,555 Oh, so nice to meet you. Have you touched her yet? 84 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:49,828 - I've held her hand. Mm-hm. - Good, good, that's very good. 85 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,696 - Any compliments? - Well, I did the one about 86 00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:54,398 - the world disappearing. - Oh, excellent. 87 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,100 Yeah. 88 00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:57,736 Uh, sorry, I still don't know who Marcy is. 89 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:01,540 Oh, oh. When you advised me to get professional help, 90 00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:02,841 Marcy is the person I called. 91 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,643 Oh, she's your therapist. 92 00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:08,313 Mm, in a way. I'm his sex surrogate. 93 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:15,487 - What? - Yeah, yeah. 94 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:18,190 We've had sex enough times that, uh, I'm... 95 00:04:18,192 --> 00:04:21,326 I'm ready to do it with a woman I'm dating. 96 00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:25,230 And if tonight goes well, Melanie, that could be you. 97 00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:30,102 And let me tell you, you're in for a treat. 98 00:04:36,075 --> 00:04:38,643 - Elka? - Yes? 99 00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:42,914 It's me, Stan! 100 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:46,251 Your first love? 101 00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:49,688 - Stan? - Well, Olga, now. 102 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:53,625 But you haven't changed a bit. 103 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:56,895 You, on the other hand... 104 00:04:56,897 --> 00:05:00,098 I just happened upon a picture of you on the Internet, 105 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,902 in a bathing suit, and I have to ask... 106 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,470 Was there any photoshopping done, 107 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:09,841 or are you actually... perfect from head to toe? 108 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:12,811 I actually am. 109 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,514 But that's so superficial. The thing that made me 110 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:18,016 want to go out with you was when I read that you donated 111 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:21,786 - a kidney. - That makes me glad I did it. 112 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:25,388 It inspired me. Gave me the courage to take a break 113 00:05:25,390 --> 00:05:26,720 from modeling, help someone out. 114 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,827 Are you donating a kidney to someone? 115 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,463 No, uh, my brother was in a car accident 116 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:34,466 and his nose was irreparably damaged. 117 00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:38,470 Well, forehead skin is the best match for nose skin. 118 00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:42,541 So... you're donating some of your perfect 119 00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:45,610 - forehead skin to your brother? - Even better. 120 00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:50,749 This is really gonna make you happy. 121 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:53,652 Impressive, huh? 122 00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:03,295 Well, it's nothing to sneeze at. 123 00:06:03,297 --> 00:06:07,999 It was so romantic of you to reserve the whole patio 124 00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:10,535 just for us. 125 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,938 Mitch, are you okay? 126 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:16,074 Joy, I've been thinking a lot about the two of us 127 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:19,978 and about how much we love each other and about our future. 128 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:24,115 Future? Are you saying what I think you're saying? 129 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,218 Please, I want to get this just right. 130 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:30,188 Sorry, go ahead. 131 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:33,225 Okay, uh, where was I? 132 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,359 Thinking about the two of us... 133 00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,294 Love each other, future... Oh, uh, yeah. 134 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:40,365 Deep breath. Take a knee. 135 00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:42,634 Joy, I love you so much. 136 00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:46,371 Will you... will you... 137 00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,807 Joy, will you marry me? 138 00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:53,645 What the hell? 139 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:56,681 Simon, did you just propose to me? 140 00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,483 - Yes, I did. - Well, so did I. 141 00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,285 I w... I mean, I was going to. 142 00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:03,588 Joy, will you marry me? 143 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,424 And not him? 144 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,928 Mine's bigger. 145 00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:18,603 He brought his sex surrogate. This is the worst date ever. 146 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,673 Is it, Melanie? 147 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:24,342 How many noses does your date have? 148 00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:27,679 Because mine has two. 149 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,348 That's nuts. 150 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:31,983 And speaking of nuts, 151 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:35,720 my date doesn't have any anymore. 152 00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:39,758 Two men just proposed to me. 153 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,826 First Mitch, and then Simon! 154 00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:44,296 - Oh, my God, Joy! - I know! 155 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:47,198 Two wonderful, handsome men who want to spend 156 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,967 the rest of their lives with me. 157 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,769 Oh, this is all so complicated. 158 00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:54,039 There's only one thing more complicated. 159 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,274 A third such man who wanted to propose 160 00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:59,678 but... missed his bus. 161 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:00,712 Bob? 162 00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:03,081 Joy... 163 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:04,649 Will you marry me? 164 00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:09,187 It was my grandmother's ring. She loved it so much, 165 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,990 she was buried with it. 166 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:17,128 Please... Don't ask the next logical question. 167 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,266 Joy. Three bachelors, 168 00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:22,834 one final rose. 169 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,236 Two of these men will leave tonight, 170 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,572 utterly devastated. 171 00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:31,343 This is more like it. 172 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,311 I needed some time to think, 173 00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:36,314 so my friends went back to their dates. 174 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:51,062 Sorry, Last minute cram session. 175 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:54,933 - So, how were my hands? - Oh, terrific. 176 00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,601 - Mm-hmm? - You really painted the entire 177 00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,503 - canvas of my back beautifully. - Well. 178 00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:03,608 When we started, Brian was a little same-spot-Sally. 179 00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:06,711 You know what? I think the two of us can take it from here. 180 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,813 - Oh! Okay. - Uh... 181 00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:12,584 Don't be nervous. I'll be at the bar. 182 00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:16,154 Um... 183 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,556 Oh, this is gonna be weird, 184 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,726 doing it without Marcy. 185 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:25,430 It was a little weird doing it with Marcy. 186 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:28,032 So, are you originally from Cleveland? 187 00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:29,067 I love her, Melanie! 188 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:32,070 - What? - I love Marcy! 189 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,106 I started having sex with her because I wanted to be with you, 190 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,675 but, then the strangest thing happened. 191 00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:40,812 I started having feelings for the person 192 00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:42,013 I was having sex with. 193 00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:45,517 Yeah, but, beggars can't be choosers. 194 00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:49,721 I'm on a date with you, so... 195 00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:51,456 do you have any hobbies? 196 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:52,791 Yeah, don't even. 197 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,927 All right. 198 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:56,961 So, in a few weeks, 199 00:09:56,963 --> 00:10:00,632 the nose will be harvested, 200 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:04,102 and, you'll be your hot self again. 201 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:08,106 Actually, I've decided I, uh, I have a responsibility 202 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:12,243 to let my fertile forehead serve humanity. 203 00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:15,613 I... I'm sorry, what? 204 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:19,150 Yeah, see this little guy right here? 205 00:10:20,352 --> 00:10:22,086 In 18 months, that's gonna be 206 00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:25,924 a full-grown ear. 207 00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:34,999 The more I drink, the less crazy it seems 208 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:37,368 that you became a woman! 209 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:40,738 Well, you remember our town's motto... 210 00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:44,609 "Drink until it makes sense." 211 00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:47,846 Mmm... Ah. 212 00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:51,015 I can't believe you're my Stanislaus. 213 00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:55,453 Oh, I am. The same person that sat in the ox cart with you 214 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:58,857 in the moonlight. 215 00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,925 That's where we shared our first kiss! 216 00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:05,630 You were the only woman I ever loved. 217 00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:11,469 I guess you were the only "voman" 218 00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:14,639 I ever loved, too. 219 00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:21,713 Look, you're three amazing men, and, hopefully 220 00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:24,082 we can get through this without too many hurt feelings. 221 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:27,318 Obviously this situation is a potential minefield, 222 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,521 so let's agree from the start... 223 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:32,657 Separate checks? 224 00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:36,494 Look, Joy, this is insane. I'm your boyfriend. 225 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,563 I invited you here to propose to you. 226 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:41,365 From the moment we met, you said I was the man 227 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,233 you wanted to marry. 228 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,502 Yes, and then you immediately started cavorting 229 00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,538 - with her friend, Melanie. - That's true. 230 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:49,640 - But, I proposed first. - Actually, I proposed first. 231 00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:51,676 We have a child, and a grandchild, together. 232 00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:53,978 And... and you always said that I'm the love of your life. 233 00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:56,080 If anyone's destined to be with you forever, it's me. 234 00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:58,816 Yeah, you'd better move fast. Knowing Simon, you'll say "yes", 235 00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:02,921 and he'll be on the first plane to can't-commit-istan. 236 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:06,824 Mitch makes an excellent point about how awful Simon is. 237 00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:09,694 Can we just get rid of Bob, and narrow the field 238 00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:11,329 - to the real contenders? - Agreed. 239 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,798 Hey, I thought we had an alliance. 240 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,533 Why would we have an alliance? 241 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,502 All right, fine. If the gloves are off, 242 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:21,306 I suggest you kick Scotty and Fatso, here, to the curb. 243 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:24,909 - Hey, I'm not fat anymore. - Oh, I don't know, 244 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,312 those pounds are coming back. 245 00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:28,413 - Shut up. - You shut up! 246 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:31,583 Both of you shut up. Right, Joy? 247 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,785 Okay. 248 00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:36,754 Obviously this group date was a terrible idea. 249 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:40,325 Why don't I talk to each one of you separately? 250 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:43,227 - May the best man win. - Or the funniest. 251 00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:47,265 Or the tallest and smartest and handsomest. 252 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:51,502 Or, just the tallest and smartest. 253 00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:59,143 So, you're still considering all three of them, even Bob? 254 00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:01,980 Yes, even Bob. I like him. 255 00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:05,984 And he likes you. Which puts him ahead of my date, 256 00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,786 who's in love with his sexual surrogate. 257 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,088 It's so strange! 258 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:13,224 Is it, Melanie? 259 00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:15,393 Stranger than a man with two noses, 260 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:18,496 and an extra ear? 261 00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:22,767 I am on a date with Mr. Potato Head. 262 00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,936 Well, I'd better get back out there, 263 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:27,138 and make the biggest decision of my life. 264 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:30,942 Joy? Choose a good one. You deserve it. 265 00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:34,712 Okay, I'm waiting. Where's the insult? 266 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:37,548 I've got no boobs, I'm old, I'm skanky... 267 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:41,653 I'm saving those for your wedding toast. 268 00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:48,292 Bob, you're a terrific guy. But, we've never even been 269 00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:50,928 on a date. Marriage seems quite the leap. 270 00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:55,066 Fine, forget me. Focus on your other two suitors. 271 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:56,701 Let's face it, both Mitch and Simon 272 00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:59,470 are gonna lose their looks. Where as I? 273 00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:02,173 Will look like this forever. 274 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,308 Well, as long as shoppers drug mart continues 275 00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:08,346 to make "apricot kiss foam-in hair color, for men". 276 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:12,016 - Stop making me laugh. - Why, Joy? You love to laugh. 277 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:15,153 I could guarantee you a lifetime of laughter. 278 00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:19,424 Joy, I've been in love with you from the first moment I met you. 279 00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:22,860 But, what about your girlfriend in Canada? 280 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,996 Are you sure that's over? 281 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,731 Her last words to me were, 282 00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:30,702 "get out of here, you big dick". 283 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:31,636 I'm sorry. 284 00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:35,473 Focus on the last two words, Joy. 285 00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:41,713 I love Joy so much. She should be with me. 286 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,815 It's as plain the nose on my... 287 00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:45,817 holy crap! 288 00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:49,754 You obviously recognize me from Cleveland Magazine. 289 00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:54,358 Yeah, that's it. 290 00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:57,261 What do I do if Joy doesn't pick me? 291 00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:59,263 I'll be lost, I'll be devastated, 292 00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:00,665 I... I won't be able to go on. 293 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:04,802 Let me ask you something. Were you always a man? 294 00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:09,173 You could always make me smile. 295 00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:11,809 Oh, Elka. If only you were a man. 296 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:16,047 I was just about to say the same thing. 297 00:15:18,283 --> 00:15:22,019 What the hell is going on, here? 298 00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:25,857 Joy, you mean the world to me. We're soul mates. 299 00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:29,827 Even after I lost 300 pounds, I would look at myself 300 00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:32,096 in the mirror, and I would see a fat guy. 301 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:35,933 But your love has given me the confidence to see myself 302 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,735 for who I truly am... 303 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:40,104 A very handsome man. 304 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:40,905 Mitch. 305 00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:45,076 I'm very handsome, Joy. 306 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:48,212 Borderline pretty. 307 00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:51,675 - You really are. - And you are... 308 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:55,553 - ...a little shallow, right? - More than a little. 309 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:58,189 Then picture waking up for the next 50 years 310 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:02,360 next to Simon, or Bob, or, waking up... 311 00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:05,930 Next to this. 312 00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:08,432 You make a lot of sense, Mitch. 313 00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:10,768 A lot of sense. 314 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:14,105 So, Marcy. Brian and I have been, um, talking, 315 00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:17,074 and he has something that he would like to say to you. 316 00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:17,809 Brian? 317 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:21,211 Yes. Marcy, uh, I, you see... 318 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:23,047 - sorry to interrupt. Melanie? - What? 319 00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:25,549 I need your help to win Joy. Anything that will make her 320 00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:26,652 want me over all other men. 321 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,953 Maybe I can help. By having sex with me, 322 00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:30,421 you'll become a better lover. 323 00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,824 You have my attention. 324 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:36,928 No, I... I... I don't want you having sex with anybody but me. 325 00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:40,698 I'm flattered, but... 326 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,900 not you, her. 327 00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:45,303 He's in love with her. 328 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,638 - Is this true? - Yes, Marcy. 329 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,708 So, when I taught you to call out Melanie's name, 330 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,476 you... you actually wanted to call out mine? 331 00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:55,112 Yes. No, I only thought of Melanie 332 00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:58,749 when I needed to distract myself to make it last longer. 333 00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:01,319 Oh! 334 00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:04,422 Sometimes I'd think of her radio show, and... 335 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:07,024 I could last all night. 336 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:10,294 I'm gonna need tape of your show. 337 00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:13,931 So, Trevor, you're a model. How do good-looking guys, 338 00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,766 like us, win a woman? 339 00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:19,737 It's not about the looks. If you really wanna capture 340 00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:22,506 Joy's heart, do something humanitarian. 341 00:17:22,508 --> 00:17:24,809 - Women love that. - Do they? 342 00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:29,347 Well, yeah. And you only know about the ear and the nose. 343 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,816 You won't believe what I got 344 00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:34,452 growing on my back. 345 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:37,455 You'll see. 346 00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,824 Will it see me? 347 00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,826 Tell me now. 348 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:45,630 - You did a good thing, Melanie. - Yeah, I did, didn't I? 349 00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:48,266 Why are we still sitting here? 350 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:50,902 And where's Mitch going? It's not his turn. 351 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:54,438 Can I get you another drink? 352 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,208 What do you think? 353 00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:03,581 Joy. When I look at you, I see the teenage girl 354 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:08,319 I fell in love with. And that's who I'm always gonna see. 355 00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:11,656 Really? 356 00:18:13,892 --> 00:18:14,892 Dancing? 357 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:18,696 I didn't know there'd be a dancing portion. 358 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:22,533 - Let go of her. - No, you let go of her. 359 00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,435 - She's mine. - She's mine! 360 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,704 Stop it! All of you! 361 00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:33,311 Oh my God. 362 00:18:37,482 --> 00:18:40,918 This has been quite a journey for you, Joy. 363 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:45,550 - Have you made your decision? - I think I have. 364 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,425 I choose... 365 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:50,827 I choose... 366 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:53,164 Wait a minute, 367 00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,498 you're not Chris Harrison. 368 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,434 You've had a bad bump, sweetie. 369 00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:59,403 You need to lie quiet for a while. 370 00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:03,040 I feel terrible. I've never hit a woman before. 371 00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:06,610 Me either... Except the time an elbow 372 00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:10,781 got away from me in zumba class. 373 00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:12,016 Cheer up, Simon. 374 00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:14,719 If Joy doesn't pick you... 375 00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:17,154 I'm right here. 376 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,091 You know Bob, I've always thought you were kinda cute. 377 00:19:20,093 --> 00:19:21,125 I'd go out with you. 378 00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:23,894 Keep it in your pants, Melanie. 379 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,696 I'm in love with Joy. 380 00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:29,400 What a nice night it's been. 381 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:32,570 It was great to see Stan again, but... 382 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,905 I really had a feeling I was gonna 383 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,508 meet a special man tonight. 384 00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:41,612 Elka? 385 00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:45,049 Max! What are you doing here? 386 00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:46,684 I thought I was having heart trouble. 387 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:50,021 But it was nothing. Although, now, 388 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:52,590 it's starting to race again. 389 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,191 Is it? 390 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:57,762 You know, I'm just visiting from Florida, 391 00:19:57,764 --> 00:20:01,365 I'm not staying very long, but, uh, would you, uh... 392 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:04,335 - Yes! - And maybe tomorrow? 393 00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:07,872 - Yes. - And there was something else 394 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:10,441 I wanted to ask you... Uh... 395 00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:13,773 When you remember it, yes. 396 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:18,780 Okay, she's doing fine. She just needs to rest. 397 00:20:18,790 --> 00:20:20,690 Did she say anything about which man 398 00:20:20,694 --> 00:20:21,614 she was going to marry? 399 00:20:21,616 --> 00:20:23,916 She's in no condition to be making life decisions. 400 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:29,156 Then, I... guess everyone is just gonna have to wait. 401 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,537 ♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba ♪ 402 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,972 ♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba ♪ 403 00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:49,113 ♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba ♪ 404 00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:51,782 ♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba ♪ 405 00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:00,758 ♪ Hey! ♪ 30030

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