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00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:26,526
Breaking news.
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00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,237
Actor Jason Biggs of American
Pie fame was found dead
3
00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:31,030
in his Wind River home.
4
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,199
The event brings this
year's celebrity death toll
5
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,327
to 27 after Pope Francis's
heart explosion last week.
6
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:37,704
His estate wants
7
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:40,415
to remind the world that Jason
Biggs was a good guy
8
00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:41,708
and we should all be very,
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00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,084
very sad.
10
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:45,128
Authorities aren't
ruling out foul play.
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00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,269
Ah.
12
00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:08,735
Get fucked, Biggs!
13
00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:16,493
♪ I heard I heard
the old man say ♪
14
00:01:16,494 --> 00:01:19,329
♪ John Kanaka-naka
too-rye-ay ♪
15
00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:22,999
♪ Today, today's
a holiday ♪
16
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,211
♪ John Kanaka-naka
too-rye-ay ♪
17
00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:28,797
♪ Too-rye-ay ♪
18
00:01:28,798 --> 00:01:31,216
♪ Whoa oh ♪
19
00:01:31,217 --> 00:01:36,012
♪ Too-rye-ay ♪
20
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,515
♪ John Kanaka-naka
too-rye-ay ♪
21
00:01:57,368 --> 00:02:00,161
♪ We'll work tomorrow
but not today ♪
22
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,205
♪ John Kanaka-naka
too-rye-ay ♪
23
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:04,958
♪ We'll work tomorrow
but not today ♪
24
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:07,252
♪ John Kanaka-naka
too-rye-ay ♪
25
00:02:07,253 --> 00:02:09,128
♪ Too-rye-ay ♪
26
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,964
♪ Whoa oh ♪
27
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,467
♪ Too-rye-ay ♪
28
00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,761
♪ John Kanaka-naka
too-rye-ay ♪
29
00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:19,264
♪ We're bound away
for Frisco Bay ♪
30
00:02:19,265 --> 00:02:21,599
♪ John Kanaka-naka
too-rye-ay ♪
31
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,269
♪ We're bound away
at the break of day ♪
32
00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:26,604
♪ John Kanaka-naka
too-rye-ay ♪
33
00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:28,648
♪ Too-rye-ay ♪
34
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,400
♪ Whoa oh ♪
35
00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:34,195
♪ Too-rye-ay ♪
36
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:36,156
♪ John Kanaka-naka
too-rye-ay ♪
37
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,696
So, 35?
Do we have a deal?
38
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,198
Okay. You got me.
39
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,491
Twenty-five.
40
00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:21,701
You drive a hard bargain.
41
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,786
Luke, how much
for this?
42
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,663
Oh. For you, Jake,
43
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,956
absolutely free.
44
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,042
Take it. It's yours.
45
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,920
- No kidding?
- No kidding.
46
00:03:31,921 --> 00:03:35,673
You know, a toaster like this
would probably get you $27.
47
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:36,842
I doubt that.
48
00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:40,304
It's a very nice
thing. Uh...
49
00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:44,223
I think I'll put it on
my desk next to my computer.
50
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:49,854
I came by to-- to give you
a little going away advice.
51
00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:53,524
You need to change
the password on your Wi-Fi
52
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:56,527
and the majority of your
streaming accounts.
53
00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,947
- What do you mean?
- Type in some extra numbers
54
00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:02,033
or some big letters.
Those go a long way.
55
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,744
Jake, are you saying
you've been using my Wi-Fi?
56
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,287
Is that why Google keeps
recommending
57
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,247
- different ketamine clinics?
- I'm just saying
58
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,875
I don't want people
in your new building
59
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:13,252
to take advantage of
you the way...
60
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,339
some people might have been
taking advantage of you here.
61
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,382
Thanks, Jake.
62
00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:19,884
You're a good guy, Luke.
63
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:20,885
You deserve better.
64
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:21,887
Okay.
65
00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:24,390
Oh, hey, Janet.
66
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,891
Respectfully, Janet,
I really think
67
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,184
that we should
just try it my way.
68
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:30,311
We're really going miss you
around here, Luke,
69
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,689
and not just your Wi-Fi and
your streaming services.
70
00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:34,190
You're like family.
71
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,942
Were my passwords that
easy to figure out?
72
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,694
Uh, where you
headed now?
73
00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,195
Ottawa, Canada.
Watch your finger.
74
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:43,700
Ottawa. Uh, you got family
up there or something?
75
00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:46,285
No. No. The only family I have
left is an older brother,
76
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,162
but I haven't
heard from him in years.
77
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,289
In fact, I actually don't even
know if he's dead or alive.
78
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,708
Oh, well,
that's dreadful,
79
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:56,129
because, uh, family is the most
important thing there is.
80
00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:59,591
Family sticks
together, no matter what.
81
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,593
Uh. What was that?
82
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:03,720
What was what?
83
00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:06,514
The random family sentiment
you just read out loud,
84
00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,099
what was that about?
85
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:11,060
Uh, I gotta go.
86
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:13,730
Clinton...
87
00:05:13,731 --> 00:05:15,481
How much
you want for this?
88
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,858
It's beautiful.
89
00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:19,193
What the hell?
This isn't mine.
90
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:20,611
- Who put this here?
- You did.
91
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,530
No. Why would
I have a painting
92
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,699
of the pope eating
tacos with Big Foot?
93
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,576
I mean, I'm basically
Jewish, for Christ's sake.
94
00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:27,745
That's a lie.
95
00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,079
I've seen his penis.
96
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,915
The man you know as Luke
is not circumcised.
97
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:35,918
Quite the opposite. He possesses
a generous amount of foreskin,
98
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:38,212
making his dick look like
the head of a baby elephant.
99
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:40,466
What? Who-- Who are you?
What is happening?
100
00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:49,767
Geez Louise.
101
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,269
Ow!
102
00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:57,106
Danny!
103
00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,274
- Bring it in.
- Danny!
104
00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,151
- Huh? Ow! Ow! Ow!
- Oh, oh God, God, God!
105
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:02,070
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
What happened? Are you okay?
106
00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:03,154
Yeah, it's nothing, really.
107
00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:04,363
You should've seen
the other guy.
108
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,740
- Yeah?
- Oh, yeah.
109
00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:08,034
He was driving the sickest
Mercedes when he plowed into me.
110
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,702
Okay. That looks really bad.
111
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:12,622
Oh, and that painting
is from me. Hmm?
112
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:15,041
- Oh!
- You like it?
113
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,209
Yeah, man.
114
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,710
One more hug? Soft?
115
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,003
Wow, man.
116
00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:31,390
Mmm.
117
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,392
Mm.
118
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,772
So, how's life living
off-grid all this time?
119
00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:40,441
It's fine, until
the grid got bigger.
120
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,692
After a while,
it became like
121
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,528
one of Todd Simmons's famous
nosebleeds.
122
00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:45,280
Yeah.
123
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,281
Wait. Who's--
124
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,699
So, what's with
the moving sale?
125
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,700
You moving somewhere?
126
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,452
Ah, very
perceptive of you.
127
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:52,495
Yeah. Yeah. No.
128
00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:55,289
I'm, uh, heading
up to Ottawa, Canada.
129
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:57,125
Ottawa? What do you got a
girlfriend up there
130
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:58,626
- or something?
- No.
131
00:06:58,627 --> 00:06:59,877
- Yeah, you do.
- No.
132
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:03,089
You have
a girlfriend in Canada. Eh-eh.
133
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,590
- I wish. No.
- Yeah. You gotta go all
134
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,176
the way up there to get laid,
because you can't get laid here.
135
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:08,553
- Danny, Danny, no.
- Sorry.
136
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:11,681
No.
I-- I am driving up today
137
00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:14,351
to start at the new
paleontology research center.
138
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:17,520
What, today, today?
139
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:18,646
Yeah.
140
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,815
- You can't leave today.
- Why not?
141
00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:23,025
Well, because I'm here now.
I want to hang out.
142
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:24,360
Yeah, but I--
I start on Monday.
143
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:27,280
Ah, fuck muffin.
144
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,366
I was really hoping to
spend some time together
145
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,870
before I start my new
job in Tucson next week.
146
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,676
Hey, man. Why don't
you come with me?
147
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:49,719
- Really?
- Yeah.
148
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,637
- You wouldn't mind?
- No. I-- I--
149
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,306
I've wanted to spend time
with you, too.
150
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:55,766
Wow. I'm impressed, Luke.
151
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:58,144
You really do have faith
in your fellow man.
152
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,563
It's like
Todd Simmons said,
153
00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:02,648
"Faith is all about
taking that initial step
154
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,275
without first checking
for scorpions."
155
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,277
Yeah.
156
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,279
Who is this
Todd Simmons guy?
157
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,207
So, tell me about the job
in Ottawa, huh?
158
00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:21,417
- You happy with it?
- Oh, beyond happy, man.
159
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,002
It's like, for the first time
in my life,
160
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,004
everything's finally
making sense, you know?
161
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,088
And that's
a good thing?
162
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:27,924
Yeah, of
course it is.
163
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:29,967
I get to go on real digs
with real paleontologists,
164
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:32,011
and you know what we're
doing on my very first day?
165
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,055
- How would I know that?
- We're gonna go to a dig site
166
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,932
where they've already found
a brand-new species
167
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,391
of cretaceous-era theropod,
168
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,685
and they've already given her
a name, too: Snommisddot.
169
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:40,811
- Snommisddot.
- Yeah.
170
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,521
Apparently, she's massive.
171
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,941
And her femur bone
172
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:47,109
is exactly five foot,
10 and a half inches long,
173
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,320
which is my
precise height,
174
00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:51,197
which is weird
and neat, right?
175
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,824
Yeah. I'm just
happy you're happy.
176
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,618
- Yeah.
- Just don't freak out
177
00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,703
when you learn what actually
killed the dinosaurs.
178
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,623
What do you mean?
179
00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:03,542
No. Uh, it's too soon.
180
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,962
I'm sorry. I'm just going
to shut up now, okay?
181
00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:07,380
No. No.
182
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:10,007
What do you think killed
the dinosaurs, Danny?
183
00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,759
Well, it wasn't
a fucking meteor.
184
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,803
I'll tell you that.
185
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:19,393
What?
186
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:21,978
Just so you know,
187
00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:24,772
I-- I don't actually care
that-- that you believe
188
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,607
in all this conspiracy
theory stuff.
189
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:28,609
It honestly doesn't
even bother me.
190
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,319
Conspiracy theory stuff?
191
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,322
Just so you know, all science is
theory until proven otherwise.
192
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,157
Did you know that Galileo
was once considered
193
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,576
- a conspiracy theorist?
- Okay, but just so you know,
194
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,871
even if, somehow, one of your
crazy conspiracy theories
195
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,999
just happened to be proven true,
nobody would believe you,
196
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,333
because you
think everything is part
197
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,626
of some massive
conspiracy theory.
198
00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,378
So you'd basically just
be the boy who cried wolf.
199
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,046
Oh, just so you know, the boy
who cried wolf
200
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,798
- is a personal hero of mine.
- Of course he is.
201
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,633
No. Think about it.
He tricked his entire town
202
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:54,176
into thinking that a
wolf was coming,
203
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,803
so by the end, when
the wolf actually came,
204
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:58,973
he had him all to himself, and
who doesn't want a little wolf?
205
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,816
This just in.
206
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,652
Jason Biggs's death has been
officially ruled a homicide.
207
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,029
The suspect is said to--
208
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,655
...bloody,
grisly murder scene.
209
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:15,781
We should all be
210
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,366
very sad, according
to his estate.
211
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,292
So, tell me about
this job in Tucson.
212
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:30,004
Oh, yeah. I'm-- I'm
really excited about it.
213
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:32,173
Is it, like, a--
an office job or...
214
00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:34,508
The day I set foot in
an office is the day I die.
215
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:37,094
Yeah.
So, what is it?
216
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,929
Oh, I can't say.
I-- I signed an NDA.
217
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,056
Oh, with who?
218
00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:41,432
Can't say
that, either.
219
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,517
Well, can you tell me
anything about it?
220
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:45,227
Let me
think. No.
221
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,896
Well, come on. You're
not being chased
222
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,647
by a bounty hunter
or something, are you?
223
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,024
Jesus, Luke!
224
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,235
I'm not that guy
anymore.
225
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,488
- Alright. Sorry.
- Sure, at one point,
226
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,865
I was a little off my rocker.
Sure, at one point,
227
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,158
I ran for sheriff
of Daytona
228
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,493
under the name Deacon Shrimp.
229
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,745
Sure, at one point, I
scammed the Portuguese mafia
230
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,663
out of 1,000 fluid ounces
of Taiwanese ketamine.
231
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,040
- What?
- But I also know
232
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,958
I haven't been the best
big brother to you.
233
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:10,169
I left you all alone
in that hell hole,
234
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,171
took out multiple houseboat
loans in your name.
235
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,256
- That was you?
- But I'm a changed man now
236
00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:17,051
who's trying to get
his life back on track,
237
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:19,763
and... I need you to
believe that.
238
00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:23,182
Uh... yeah. Alright.
239
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,475
Thank you.
240
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,893
I have no reason
to lie to you, man.
241
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:28,479
Literally not one.
Knock on wood.
242
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:33,067
Sheriff's Department!
243
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,794
Hey. Oh, yeah.
He's been here.
244
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:53,921
Looks like his brother's
helping him after all.
245
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:55,297
We're going to need
246
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,550
an additional 277 on
Luke Davenport,
247
00:11:57,551 --> 00:12:00,010
accomplice to wanted
felon Daniel Davenport.
248
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,728
♪ Tri martolod
so young ♪
249
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:13,899
♪ Tra-la-la
la-la-la-la ♪
250
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:17,278
♪ Tri martolod
so young ♪
251
00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:21,740
♪ They sailed away
to sea ♪
252
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,952
♪ Tri martolod
so young ♪
253
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:29,165
♪ Tra-la-la
la-la-la-la ♪
254
00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:32,835
♪ Tri martolod
so young ♪
255
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:37,840
♪ They set
sail from Brittany ♪
256
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,925
♪ Tri martolod
so young ♪
257
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,886
♪ Tra-la-la
la-la-la-la ♪
258
00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:44,221
♪ Tri martolod
so young ♪
259
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,015
♪ They sailed away
to sea ♪
260
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,309
♪ Tri martolod
so young ♪
261
00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:50,144
♪ Tra-la-la
la-la-la-la ♪
262
00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:52,354
♪ Tri martolod
so young ♪
263
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,773
♪ They set
sail from Brittany ♪
264
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,859
♪ A storm began
as they set sail ♪
265
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,028
♪ The waves swelled high
around them ♪
266
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,946
♪ The winds were strong,
the journey long ♪
267
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,490
♪ They landed in
Newfoundland ♪
268
00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:04,158
...coincidence
269
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:05,451
that it was around
the same time
270
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,453
Bill Gates had Princess
Di assassinated,
271
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,871
and that's
the fourth reason why
272
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,624
one should never trust
the Portuguese.
273
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,502
- What?
- Nothing.
274
00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:16,086
No. Seriously,
man, what?
275
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:18,339
No. It's...
It's nothing. Never mind.
276
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:19,340
I know that look.
277
00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:21,800
You're contemplating whether or
not I'm back on my meds, huh?
278
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,885
What?
How is that a look?
279
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,929
Well, I am, okay?
280
00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:27,348
I mean, do I look like Todd
Simmons on a Spanish holiday?
281
00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:29,350
Who the fuck is
Todd Simmons?
282
00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:31,353
I swear you have
nothing to worry...
283
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:37,983
- What? What is it?
- Nothing. It's nothing.
284
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,277
Uh, I'm just going to go see
if Old Man Waters
285
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:41,946
still lives over there.
I'll be right back.
286
00:13:41,947 --> 00:13:44,031
Old Man Waters?
It's clearly made up!
287
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:45,658
And it's my turn to drive!
288
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,138
What the...
289
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:10,266
Hands on the steering wheel, now.
290
00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:11,934
Oh, dear.
291
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,644
I gotta hand
it to you.
292
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:16,105
I thought I lost
you back in Wind River.
293
00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:18,524
You banged me
up good.
294
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:19,858
I don't want your
fucking money!
295
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,110
Hands on the wheel! Do it now!
296
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,278
Oh, dear.
297
00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:24,738
Does this mean
anything to you? Huh?
298
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:27,157
It's a
Taco Gary's taco,
299
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,368
as in the
TG truce of '21?
300
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,537
Who's Taco Jerry?
301
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,955
It's Taco Gary!
302
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,790
This is a
Mercedes, right?
303
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:37,543
I don't know.
I don't know!
304
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,211
It's my
husband's car!
305
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:42,215
He was using the restroom.
306
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:44,759
Oh.
307
00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:02,192
God damn it!
308
00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,986
I'm truly sorry
for mistaking you
309
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,487
for a member
of the Coalition.
310
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,282
It was an
honest mistake.
311
00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:11,202
I'm assuming you have
the child lock on.
312
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,121
Thank you, ma'am.
313
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,582
You have
a lovely day.
314
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,347
Shit! Shit! Shit!
315
00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:33,350
Fuck!
316
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,313
You okay?
317
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:42,441
Not really, man.
I saw it.
318
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,068
Fuck. Okay. Yeah.
319
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:45,611
Putting a hunting knife to a
grandmother's throat
320
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:46,820
looks really bad on paper,
321
00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:48,280
but technically that was in
self-defense.
322
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,949
What? No. I'm talking about
these.
323
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,868
Fucking M&M's, man.
324
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,536
Oh, yeah. Me, too.
325
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,705
You're lying
to me, Danny, again.
326
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,291
Relax, Luke!
They're just anti-psychotics.
327
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,377
- Nothing bad's gonna happen--
- Not yet,
328
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,879
but I refuse to be
the idiot in the horror movie
329
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,965
who sees all the dead animals
and the ghost children,
330
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,300
yet doesn't get out.
331
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,344
I-- I feel like I'm being set
up for disaster.
332
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:12,888
If you would like me to take
the regular pills that work,
333
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,140
I will, okay?
Pinky swear.
334
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,517
I love you, Danny.
I do,
335
00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:18,143
but I am in a new
chapter in my life,
336
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,270
and I don't have time to
accommodate you and your...
337
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,231
Wait. What did you do
to some grandma?
338
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,650
Nothing. It's a metaphor.
339
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:26,986
Where's my phone?
340
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:29,906
You promise
you won't get angry?
341
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,449
- Oh, God.
- Look.
342
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:34,993
For your own safety and for
reasons I can't disclose yet,
343
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,037
I had to dispose
of your phone
344
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,789
via toilet at
the gas station.
345
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,708
- Pull over.
- Why? We just stopped.
346
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,167
Pull over!
347
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,503
Christ!
Calm down!
348
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,047
What is happening
right now?
349
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:49,718
Where you going?
350
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:53,638
- Get--
- Damn it! What the fuck?
351
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,642
Shit. Just wait! Just wait!
352
00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,018
No! It's over!
353
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,395
You're not going
to talk me out of it!
354
00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:03,522
I know! I know.
355
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,606
I understand.
356
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,233
Look. I'm sorry!
357
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,569
You know I hate
taking that shit!
358
00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:11,447
It makes me feel
too... not me!
359
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,907
- Things make too much sense!
- That's a bad thing?
360
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:15,325
Can you just get
out of the car
361
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,035
so I can give you
a proper hug goodbye?
362
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,913
- No!
- I'll leave. I promise.
363
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:22,458
It just might be a really long
time before I see you again.
364
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,626
Just come out and
give me one last hug,
365
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:25,795
and then
I'm gone, okay?
366
00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:28,214
Please?
367
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:33,928
Thank you.
368
00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:38,932
I love you, man.
369
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,601
Love you, too. What--
370
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,227
Ah! What the fuck was that?
371
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:45,063
I-- I know. I'm sorry.
It's for your own good.
372
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,190
- Trust me.
- Don't!
373
00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:48,442
Trust me! You're okay.
374
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,069
Alright. That's it.
375
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,199
You're okay.
376
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,369
Goodnight, sweet prince.
377
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:03,248
Ah. They never show
this part in the movies.
378
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,418
How hard
could it be?
379
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,372
There's Mr. Sleepy Head.
380
00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:45,707
Wha...
381
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:46,959
What happened?
Where are we?
382
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,502
What?
You don't remember?
383
00:18:48,503 --> 00:18:50,587
Makes sense. You were
pretty damn drunk.
384
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,967
No. I-- I remember I--
385
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,386
I couldn't find my
phone, and--
386
00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:00,723
and then we-- we got in
an argument and...
387
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:07,688
Holy shit.
You... You...
388
00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:09,731
Okay. Fine. I injected you
with some ketamine,
389
00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:11,275
but you were having
a temper tantrum.
390
00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,860
Oh, you're
out of your mind.
391
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,320
You're-- You're--
Oh, God.
392
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,161
There's Mr. Sleepy Head.
393
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,163
- God damn it!
- I know.
394
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,207
This hurts me just
as much as it hurts you.
395
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,960
Why are you
doing this to me?
396
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:32,671
I haven't been completely
honest with you.
397
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,256
I kind of stumbled into
some trouble,
398
00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:36,300
and I sort of need to--
How do I say this?
399
00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:37,843
Flee the country,
so when I found out
400
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,761
you were going to Canada,
I thought it was meant to be,
401
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:41,471
- you know, like fate.
- What did you do?
402
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:42,639
Nothing.
403
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,183
I simply took something from
someone deemed important.
404
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,393
Give it back!
405
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,645
No! The world
needs to see this,
406
00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:50,564
- and I need your help.
- No!
407
00:19:50,565 --> 00:19:52,900
Come on, Luke.
You're family!
408
00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:55,611
And you know family is the
most important thing of all.
409
00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:59,323
Family sticks together,
no matter what.
410
00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:01,450
You paid my neighbor
to say that, didn't you?
411
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,035
Look. It's not my fault
your neighbor didn't take
412
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,870
the extra five minutes to
memorize his fucking lines!
413
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,289
Look. Whatever, it doesn't
matter. The fact is,
414
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,875
I love you, and you're the only
one that I can truly trust.
415
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,084
And you have
a valid passport,
416
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:12,502
and we kinda look
like each other.
417
00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:14,212
Oh, I can't believe
I fell for this.
418
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:17,966
No! No! No,
no, no! Help!
419
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,217
Come here,
you little rascal.
420
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,886
Help me! Help!
421
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,930
Stop doing that!
422
00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,724
Look. I'm begging you, man.
I need your help,
423
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,684
and I need to borrow your
identity one last time.
424
00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:29,561
Just try to see the forest
through the trees.
425
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,605
It's "for the trees,"
you idiot,
426
00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:33,857
and the answer is no!
427
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:36,902
I am not gonna risk my
chance at happiness for you.
428
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,820
The thing is, Luke,
429
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:41,490
I don't think you have
any other options.
430
00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,909
Of course I do. I'll-- I'll
just suck it up and fly there.
431
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:46,078
Truck's worthless anyway,
and all my important stuff
432
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:47,162
is already
at my new place.
433
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:48,413
Yeah, but you can't
book a flight
434
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,248
without your phone
and your wallet.
435
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,044
God damn it! Where
is my wallet, Danny?
436
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,714
It's in safe hands. You'll get
it once we cross the border.
437
00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:58,757
I know that look.
438
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,175
You wanna cause me
physical harm,
439
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,135
but right now, I'm your
best and only option.
440
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:04,513
You'll still get
there on time. I promise.
441
00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:05,555
Any questions?
442
00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:06,974
Can I at least have
my shirt back?
443
00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:09,309
No. Oh, and there's something
else I need to give you.
444
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,103
Now, you're probably
not ready to hear this,
445
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:13,480
but that right there is a
highly advanced homing beacon.
446
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,607
This is a Rubik's Cube covered
with black Sharpie ink.
447
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,484
Oh, trust me. That's the
highest of high tech.
448
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,695
- I do not trust you.
- And don't ask me how I got it.
449
00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:21,947
I'll just say it involved
a full-figured Big Foot suit,
450
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:24,282
a live chicken, and
a shit-ton of ketamine.
451
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,159
Now, on the off chance that
we get separated,
452
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,703
you press this part down
right here,
453
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:29,204
and I'll know exactly
where you are.
454
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:30,998
Oh, shit! Get down!
455
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,207
- What?
- Get down!
456
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,542
- No.
- At least take a knee!
457
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:34,751
- No.
- Oh, shit.
458
00:21:34,752 --> 00:21:36,628
The truck's been made.
459
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,588
Oh, thank God.
460
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:39,756
- Let go!
- If you tattletale,
461
00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:41,216
I swear you'll never make it
to your job.
462
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:43,135
I'll tell 'em you're the
mastermind behind all this.
463
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:44,886
- How you gonna do that?
- You really should rethink
464
00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:47,431
your password. Just add a few
numbers or big letters.
465
00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:49,808
- Those go a long way.
- What have you been doing?
466
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,685
Enough to make it seem like you
and I have been accomplices
467
00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:53,895
all along, but if you stick
with me, I'll clear your name.
468
00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:55,439
- Pinky swear.
- God damn it.
469
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,025
It's okay, brother.
I intended for plan A to fail.
470
00:21:58,026 --> 00:21:59,526
This is all part
of the plan.
471
00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:01,528
We're just going to
skip ahead to step 17.
472
00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:05,073
WWTSD. What
would Todd Simmons do?
473
00:22:05,074 --> 00:22:06,658
How many hand grenades
do you have on your person?
474
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:07,993
- Danny.
- On second thought,
475
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,703
- we don't need a truck.
- My passport is in there.
476
00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:11,371
God damn it, Luke.
What were you thinking?
477
00:22:11,372 --> 00:22:13,123
- I was unconscious!
- You can say that again.
478
00:22:13,124 --> 00:22:15,584
- That's them!
- Shit. Plan C. Run!
479
00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:16,835
You'll never catch us!
480
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,962
We're very armed
and extremely deranged!
481
00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:21,131
Why would you say that?
No, no, no, we're-- we're not.
482
00:22:21,132 --> 00:22:23,217
I'm-- I'm not! Fuck!
483
00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:28,430
This way!
Through the trees!
484
00:22:28,431 --> 00:22:29,473
Wait!
485
00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:58,503
Shit.
486
00:23:33,496 --> 00:23:34,789
Man down!
487
00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:42,546
Jesus Christ.
488
00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:46,342
Needs salt.
489
00:23:47,844 --> 00:23:49,261
Come on!
490
00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:51,179
Fuck! I'm so fucked!
491
00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:52,806
Why did you say that?
492
00:23:52,807 --> 00:23:55,183
Oh, that is nothing compared
to what I told the authorities
493
00:23:55,184 --> 00:23:56,893
we've been doing
for the last two weeks.
494
00:23:56,894 --> 00:23:58,061
No. You, not we. You!
495
00:23:58,062 --> 00:23:59,938
Shut up!
This is all happening
496
00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:01,940
according to the new plan
that I just thought of.
497
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,441
All we need
is a ride
498
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:05,652
so I can connect with an
associate I have in the area,
499
00:24:05,653 --> 00:24:07,612
- and that guy's perfect.
- Too rare.
500
00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:09,281
Okay. Here's
what we're gonna do.
501
00:24:09,282 --> 00:24:11,324
I'm going to tell him that
my fiancée's dog,
502
00:24:11,325 --> 00:24:13,910
Stanley McRuffRuff, was stolen
by a one-eyed Portuguese man
503
00:24:13,911 --> 00:24:16,454
and we're on a desperate and
inspiring rescue mission.
504
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:18,123
Why would anyone
believe that?
505
00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:20,375
Because no one wants to
believe the truth anymore, man,
506
00:24:20,376 --> 00:24:22,169
and people don't let
strangers with no pants
507
00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:23,336
ride in their car
willy-nilly.
508
00:24:23,337 --> 00:24:26,256
- Why is there no pants?
- Bingo bongo.
509
00:24:26,257 --> 00:24:27,466
What?
510
00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:30,677
What the fuck?
511
00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:33,388
You know, if something
happened to my little ruff-ruff,
512
00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:35,348
I'd do the same thing.
513
00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:36,725
Damn Portuguese.
514
00:24:36,726 --> 00:24:38,351
Amen, brother.
515
00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:40,478
Oh, right. Uh,
for your information,
516
00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:41,855
I've kidnapped
my brother
517
00:24:41,856 --> 00:24:44,232
and am forcing him to come
along against his will.
518
00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:46,484
He wants to let you know in
case you're a witness
519
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,695
in a trial that'll
never happen.
520
00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:50,155
Brothers, huh?
521
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:52,783
I guess y'all do
smell pretty similar.
522
00:24:55,745 --> 00:24:57,287
Danny, what the fuck
are you doing?
523
00:24:57,288 --> 00:24:59,789
These are the exact
coordinates. I triple-checked.
524
00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:02,000
Oh, uh, excuse me, sir. Do you
mind driving me to the hospital?
525
00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:03,585
I-- I've been
kidnapped!
526
00:25:03,586 --> 00:25:04,878
Nice try, Luke,
527
00:25:04,879 --> 00:25:06,504
but no one wants to believe
the truth anymore.
528
00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:07,797
Just let me work.
529
00:25:07,798 --> 00:25:09,591
Now that neither
of us have a passport
530
00:25:09,592 --> 00:25:11,009
because you're irresponsible,
531
00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:13,553
we're going to require
the services of a badger.
532
00:25:13,554 --> 00:25:14,971
It's like a
Canadian coyote.
533
00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:16,890
She'll help us
cross the border.
534
00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:28,526
Let's talk.
535
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:31,155
No running, Eric!
536
00:25:33,449 --> 00:25:35,325
It's nice to see
you again, Allison.
537
00:25:35,326 --> 00:25:36,326
It's been a while.
538
00:25:36,327 --> 00:25:38,954
This is my little
brother, Luke.
539
00:25:38,955 --> 00:25:41,039
Ah, I
know that look.
540
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,792
You're sexually attracted
to her, aren't you?
541
00:25:43,793 --> 00:25:45,043
So, where
you two heading?
542
00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:46,795
I'm trying to get
to Ottawa before Monday,
543
00:25:46,796 --> 00:25:48,755
and he's a
wanted felon.
544
00:25:48,756 --> 00:25:50,048
Ottawa.
545
00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:52,551
What, you guys got family up
there or something?
546
00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:55,595
Eric, slow
the fuck down!
547
00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:56,930
You're a good
brother, you know,
548
00:25:56,931 --> 00:25:58,306
helping Danny out
like this.
549
00:25:58,307 --> 00:26:00,476
That man has opened my
eyes to a lot of truths.
550
00:26:02,228 --> 00:26:04,479
Did you know that there's
a metropolis of squid people
551
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,815
living directly beneath
Santa Fe, New Mexico?
552
00:26:09,860 --> 00:26:11,945
I'm just playing, I don't
believe in that kind of stuff.
553
00:26:11,946 --> 00:26:13,905
Push it, Eric.
554
00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:15,573
God damn it, Eric.
555
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,284
I don't get it.
You seem so...
556
00:26:17,285 --> 00:26:19,703
Look. When Danny called me up
asking if I knew a badger,
557
00:26:19,704 --> 00:26:21,830
I just went, "Screw it.
I'll be your badger."
558
00:26:21,831 --> 00:26:23,832
I've got nothing else to do
right now, and Danny always
559
00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:26,042
knows how to spin nothing into
something crazy and fun.
560
00:26:26,043 --> 00:26:28,128
This is
not fun, okay?
561
00:26:28,129 --> 00:26:29,754
Before Danny
came back,
562
00:26:29,755 --> 00:26:32,382
things in my life were just
finally starting to make sense.
563
00:26:32,383 --> 00:26:35,218
And that's a good thing?
Danny will clear your name.
564
00:26:35,219 --> 00:26:36,845
He's gotten me out of much
tighter jams than this.
565
00:26:36,846 --> 00:26:39,347
Trust me. And who knows?
Maybe by the end,
566
00:26:39,348 --> 00:26:41,308
you'll no longer see this
cup as half empty, like me.
567
00:26:41,309 --> 00:26:42,350
Oh, yeah? Why's that?
568
00:26:42,351 --> 00:26:44,894
'Cause I stopped wearing
contacts. Can't see shit now.
569
00:26:44,895 --> 00:26:46,688
I just made contact with an
associate of mine.
570
00:26:46,689 --> 00:26:48,940
He's gonna provide us with
a new vehicle and weaponry.
571
00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:50,650
- Can he be trusted?
- Oh, yeah.
572
00:26:50,651 --> 00:26:52,736
We ran a lot of jobs
together back in Pismo.
573
00:26:52,737 --> 00:26:54,821
No, no, no, no.
Danny, please tell me
574
00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:56,531
you're not talking
about Klyle.
575
00:26:56,532 --> 00:26:58,658
I don't know what you'd
like me to say, then.
576
00:26:58,659 --> 00:27:00,660
Oh, Danny, come on. Isn't
he, like, the president
577
00:27:00,661 --> 00:27:01,828
of the Flat Earth Society?
578
00:27:01,829 --> 00:27:03,330
No, not anymore.
He knows the world
579
00:27:03,331 --> 00:27:06,333
is a three-dimensional
isosceles triangle. Don't worry.
580
00:27:06,334 --> 00:27:08,501
He said to meet him
at these coordinates.
581
00:27:08,502 --> 00:27:10,754
Jesus Christ!
582
00:27:10,755 --> 00:27:13,173
Relax, baby!
You're in a sauna!
583
00:27:13,174 --> 00:27:14,424
This is definitely
the spot.
584
00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:16,092
I quadruple-checked
the coordinates.
585
00:27:16,093 --> 00:27:17,469
You said his
name was Klyle?
586
00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:19,471
Yeah. He purposely misspells
his name
587
00:27:19,472 --> 00:27:21,806
to make himself harder to track.
It's very smart.
588
00:27:24,226 --> 00:27:26,228
Come with me.
589
00:27:29,273 --> 00:27:30,398
Were you followed?
590
00:27:30,399 --> 00:27:31,649
Uh, I don't
think so.
591
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,276
What about that guy?
592
00:27:33,277 --> 00:27:35,862
Nope.
He's not one of them.
593
00:27:35,863 --> 00:27:37,280
Well, who's the sheep?
594
00:27:37,281 --> 00:27:39,074
That's my little
brother, Luke.
595
00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:40,241
Can he be trusted?
596
00:27:40,242 --> 00:27:42,702
Yeah, 100 percent.
He's my brother.
597
00:27:42,703 --> 00:27:44,454
I see you found
yourself a badger.
598
00:27:44,455 --> 00:27:45,830
Best in the
business.
599
00:27:45,831 --> 00:27:47,332
Only the best
for Danny.
600
00:27:47,333 --> 00:27:49,376
Okay, guys. Can we please
just hurry this up?
601
00:27:49,377 --> 00:27:50,460
How can I help?
602
00:27:50,461 --> 00:27:51,961
They need to
get to Ottawa.
603
00:27:51,962 --> 00:27:54,881
Ottawa...
604
00:27:54,882 --> 00:27:56,467
And no, we don't have
any family there.
605
00:27:57,468 --> 00:27:58,552
Wait.
606
00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:00,887
You're going
to Ottawa?
607
00:28:00,888 --> 00:28:03,223
There's no way you
stole what I think you stole.
608
00:28:03,224 --> 00:28:05,016
Maybe I did.
609
00:28:05,017 --> 00:28:06,935
Oh, you really
got it, huh?
610
00:28:06,936 --> 00:28:08,938
Then whip it out
and show it to me.
611
00:28:17,863 --> 00:28:19,322
You do realize that
is worth
612
00:28:19,323 --> 00:28:22,992
upwards of 27.7
million USD?
613
00:28:22,993 --> 00:28:25,328
He's exaggerating.
Besides, it's not for sale.
614
00:28:25,329 --> 00:28:27,789
Now, can you help us with
a vehicle and weaponry or not?
615
00:28:27,790 --> 00:28:30,792
You...
616
00:28:30,793 --> 00:28:33,754
Yeah. Yes. Yes, I can.
617
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,632
Take your pick.
618
00:28:37,633 --> 00:28:39,843
Is this your
entire inventory?
619
00:28:39,844 --> 00:28:42,262
Yeah. My mom isn't
CEO of Gucci Vuitton,
620
00:28:42,263 --> 00:28:43,263
I'm sorry to say.
621
00:28:43,264 --> 00:28:44,515
Ah.
622
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:48,893
This one doesn't have
any side mirrors.
623
00:28:48,894 --> 00:28:52,147
Yeah. Well, I had to kick them
off to decrease wind resistance.
624
00:28:53,524 --> 00:28:54,650
Smart.
625
00:28:58,446 --> 00:29:01,156
Ooh, impressive.
626
00:29:01,157 --> 00:29:03,825
If you want anything, all
this stuff is 30 percent off.
627
00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:15,128
Hey, sheep.
628
00:29:15,129 --> 00:29:16,754
Hey, baa-baa sheep.
629
00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:19,007
Hey. Hey!
630
00:29:19,008 --> 00:29:21,676
- You gonna answer me or not?
- What was the question again?
631
00:29:21,677 --> 00:29:24,762
If Grover Cleveland showed up
right here, right now,
632
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:27,682
right next to you and you
got to ask him one question,
633
00:29:27,683 --> 00:29:29,058
- what would it be?
- I-- I don't know.
634
00:29:29,059 --> 00:29:31,269
I guess I'd ask him
what he thought
635
00:29:31,270 --> 00:29:33,021
about current
events and stuff.
636
00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:35,607
Wrong. Uh-uh.
637
00:29:35,608 --> 00:29:36,900
Okay, Klyle.
638
00:29:36,901 --> 00:29:38,401
What would
you ask him?
639
00:29:38,402 --> 00:29:40,904
- How he did it.
- How he did what?
640
00:29:40,905 --> 00:29:43,448
Time travel!
How did a man that size
641
00:29:43,449 --> 00:29:45,992
show up right here, right
now, right next to you?
642
00:29:45,993 --> 00:29:47,619
That didn't weird
you out or anything?
643
00:29:47,620 --> 00:29:50,038
That didn't spring up a bunch
of questions in your mind?
644
00:29:50,039 --> 00:29:52,123
Danny, we already got
the car, man! Can we just go?
645
00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:54,292
Jesus! Be careful, man.
646
00:29:54,293 --> 00:29:55,835
Relax. It's not
even loaded.
647
00:29:55,836 --> 00:29:57,003
Whoa, Danny!
648
00:29:57,004 --> 00:29:58,880
- The fuck are you doing?
- What?
649
00:29:58,881 --> 00:30:00,716
There's nothing
to worry about. See?
650
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:05,512
Oh, you
gotta be kidding me.
651
00:30:05,513 --> 00:30:08,348
Klyle, you son a bitch,
you were trying to rip me off!
652
00:30:08,349 --> 00:30:10,099
Bullshit! You probably
had the safety on!
653
00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:11,644
It's off! Look!
654
00:30:13,437 --> 00:30:15,563
That is not how you test it!
655
00:30:15,564 --> 00:30:16,981
- What?
- Let me see.
656
00:30:16,982 --> 00:30:18,191
What? No.
Jesus.
657
00:30:18,192 --> 00:30:20,568
What is the matter with
you guys? God!
658
00:30:20,569 --> 00:30:22,237
I don't
understand it.
659
00:30:22,238 --> 00:30:24,280
It randomly discharged
this morning.
660
00:30:24,281 --> 00:30:25,281
It should work.
661
00:30:25,282 --> 00:30:26,367
Huh.
662
00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:31,829
Wouldn't it be funny if it just
randomly went off right now?
663
00:30:35,918 --> 00:30:37,211
I mean, a little.
664
00:30:41,549 --> 00:30:43,883
Mama, you
want a taco?
665
00:30:43,884 --> 00:30:45,261
Okay. Your loss.
666
00:30:53,936 --> 00:30:57,313
Mm. Hey. Hey, baa-baa.
Next question.
667
00:30:57,314 --> 00:30:59,566
If you could have
brunch with one person,
668
00:30:59,567 --> 00:31:02,193
living, dead, or ghost,
who would it be?
669
00:31:02,194 --> 00:31:06,114
My former self, to remind me
to never, ever trust my brother.
670
00:31:06,115 --> 00:31:07,574
Seriously, if I miss
out on this dig,
671
00:31:07,575 --> 00:31:09,242
I will literally
shoot you.
672
00:31:09,243 --> 00:31:11,911
- Wrong answer, pal.
- Okay, Klyle!
673
00:31:11,912 --> 00:31:13,162
What's the right one, then?
674
00:31:13,163 --> 00:31:14,163
Todd Simmons.
675
00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:15,540
Okay. Will someone please
676
00:31:15,541 --> 00:31:17,667
just tell me who the fuck this
Todd Simmons guy is?
677
00:31:17,668 --> 00:31:19,127
Oh!
678
00:31:19,128 --> 00:31:20,753
- Shit!
- Oh, my God!
679
00:31:20,754 --> 00:31:22,589
I told you it worked!
680
00:31:22,590 --> 00:31:26,509
Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
I've been fucking shot!
681
00:31:26,510 --> 00:31:28,094
Sure that wasn't
there the whole time?
682
00:31:28,095 --> 00:31:29,429
God! No! Call 911!
683
00:31:29,430 --> 00:31:30,597
You're fine. It's just a BB.
684
00:31:30,598 --> 00:31:31,806
Fuck you, Danny!
It hurts!
685
00:31:31,807 --> 00:31:35,059
- Check for an exit wound.
- What?
686
00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:36,894
Somebody help me!
Somebody help me, please!
687
00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:38,062
Restrain him!
688
00:31:38,063 --> 00:31:40,315
Somebody!
689
00:31:41,609 --> 00:31:43,485
Not like that,
you idiot!
690
00:31:44,570 --> 00:31:46,946
Ah! Ah!
691
00:31:46,947 --> 00:31:48,615
Badger, go upstairs to
my room
692
00:31:48,616 --> 00:31:50,617
and get the Band-Aids from my
grenade drawer.
693
00:31:50,618 --> 00:31:51,784
- On it.
- Alright.
694
00:31:51,785 --> 00:31:53,244
We gotta
restrain him,
695
00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:54,746
'cause I'm gonna
suck the bullet out.
696
00:31:54,747 --> 00:31:56,623
What the fuck? That's what
you do with snake venom!
697
00:31:56,624 --> 00:31:57,999
Yeah. That doesn't
sound right.
698
00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,542
- Trust me. I'm a doctor.
- Oh, really?
699
00:31:59,543 --> 00:32:01,462
If you're a doctor,
let's see your badge.
700
00:32:03,047 --> 00:32:04,756
- Checks out. Proceed, Klyle.
- Okay.
701
00:32:04,757 --> 00:32:06,966
What the fuck? Ah!
702
00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:09,093
Oh, gross!
He's vaccinated! Ugh!
703
00:32:10,179 --> 00:32:14,098
- Oh, shit!
- Somebody call 911! Ah!
704
00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:16,267
I got him.
It's okay, Luke.
705
00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:17,977
I'll take care
of you, alright?
706
00:32:19,021 --> 00:32:20,313
No!
707
00:32:20,314 --> 00:32:22,148
It's okay! It's just
enough to ease the pain!
708
00:32:22,149 --> 00:32:24,400
How about we make
our own exit wound?
709
00:32:24,401 --> 00:32:26,277
I'm gonna push the bullet all
the way through.
710
00:32:26,278 --> 00:32:28,154
- Ah!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
711
00:32:28,155 --> 00:32:29,530
Wait! What is happening?
712
00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:31,824
What does it look like? We're
making an exit wound.
713
00:32:31,825 --> 00:32:33,034
Oh, let me try.
714
00:32:33,035 --> 00:32:34,786
- Whoa!
- Wrong arm! Wrong arm!
715
00:32:34,787 --> 00:32:36,663
Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
I'm blind as a bat here!
716
00:32:36,664 --> 00:32:38,206
Ah!
717
00:32:38,207 --> 00:32:40,375
- Oh!
- Ah!
718
00:32:40,376 --> 00:32:42,543
Okay.
Alright. Okay. Okay.
719
00:32:42,544 --> 00:32:43,878
Ah!
720
00:32:43,879 --> 00:32:46,047
Oh, wow.
That was satisfying.
721
00:32:46,048 --> 00:32:47,340
- Okay. Okay.
- Ah!
722
00:32:47,341 --> 00:32:50,344
Everything's gonna
be fine, brother. Whew!
723
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:54,847
Oh, fuck muffin.
724
00:32:54,848 --> 00:32:55,974
Klyle. Klyle.
725
00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:05,108
She must have just bought it.
I swear I didn't know!
726
00:33:05,109 --> 00:33:06,401
Well, now, they know!
727
00:33:06,402 --> 00:33:08,111
Oh, easy, easy.
He's pretty dazed.
728
00:33:08,112 --> 00:33:10,196
Shh. Shh.
729
00:33:10,197 --> 00:33:12,282
- Run. Run!
- Shit, shit.
730
00:33:14,451 --> 00:33:15,451
Shotgun!
731
00:33:19,456 --> 00:33:20,456
Ah!
732
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:29,257
Go, go, go, go, go!
733
00:33:31,552 --> 00:33:33,053
Oh, fuck muffin.
734
00:33:34,221 --> 00:33:36,013
I think
I just pissed my pants.
735
00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:37,640
- Are we being followed?
- I don't know.
736
00:33:37,641 --> 00:33:40,060
I can't tell without
any side-view mirrors!
737
00:33:41,145 --> 00:33:43,020
Shit! Is that them?
738
00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:44,439
I think so.
739
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:46,023
Good thing I
called shotgun.
740
00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:48,484
Whoa! What the fuck are you
doing, Danny? Calm down.
741
00:33:48,485 --> 00:33:49,777
It's okay, alright?
742
00:33:49,778 --> 00:33:51,654
I'm just gonna
shoot out the tires.
743
00:33:51,655 --> 00:33:54,031
No blood shall
be spilled this day.
744
00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:55,868
I mean,
no additional blood.
745
00:33:57,536 --> 00:33:59,954
God damn it, Klyle!
This one's busted, too!
746
00:33:59,955 --> 00:34:02,165
No doy. Why do you think
it was in the bargain bin?
747
00:34:02,166 --> 00:34:03,791
Fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck!
748
00:34:03,792 --> 00:34:05,960
- What do we do, man?
- The only thing we can do.
749
00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:07,628
- We gotta get to a--
- Taco Gary's.
750
00:34:07,629 --> 00:34:08,755
It's neutral
territory.
751
00:34:08,756 --> 00:34:10,465
No member of the Coalition
can do business
752
00:34:10,466 --> 00:34:11,966
inside of a Taco
Gary's restaurant.
753
00:34:11,967 --> 00:34:13,801
Can you please let me
out of the car.
754
00:34:13,802 --> 00:34:15,261
It's the truth, nonbeliever.
755
00:34:15,262 --> 00:34:16,596
When the Coalition
was founded,
756
00:34:16,597 --> 00:34:18,389
fights broke out for
tickets off world.
757
00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:20,600
The head elders declared
their favorite restaurant,
758
00:34:20,601 --> 00:34:22,602
Taco Gary's,
as a safe zone.
759
00:34:22,603 --> 00:34:25,646
Violators of the safe zone
had their eyes melted
760
00:34:25,647 --> 00:34:28,691
and their souls sold on
the galactic slave market.
761
00:34:28,692 --> 00:34:30,693
It's not that bad.
He's exaggerating.
762
00:34:30,694 --> 00:34:33,196
The galactic slave market
closed about seven years ago.
763
00:34:33,197 --> 00:34:34,572
Okay. Just
keep going straight.
764
00:34:34,573 --> 00:34:36,491
I think there's one just
over Jeremonte Ridge.
765
00:34:36,492 --> 00:34:37,492
Copy that.
766
00:34:57,930 --> 00:34:58,931
Get in.
767
00:35:00,849 --> 00:35:02,725
Voice on speaker:
Welcome to Taco Gary's.
768
00:35:02,726 --> 00:35:04,435
Try the new single
buffalo blast...
769
00:35:04,436 --> 00:35:05,561
Sit, sit, sit, sit.
770
00:35:05,562 --> 00:35:07,438
...available
for a limited time...
771
00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:11,192
It's okay.
772
00:35:11,193 --> 00:35:12,235
Danny.
773
00:35:12,236 --> 00:35:13,945
It's okay.
Stop staring.
774
00:35:13,946 --> 00:35:15,905
We're safe for now.
775
00:35:15,906 --> 00:35:17,532
Safe for now,
but how the heck
776
00:35:17,533 --> 00:35:20,576
are we gonna
get out of here alive?
777
00:35:20,577 --> 00:35:22,995
Voice on speaker:...try
Taco Gary's chaos-adilla.
778
00:35:22,996 --> 00:35:24,956
I don't know. You guys
sure she want to kill us?
779
00:35:24,957 --> 00:35:27,583
Mm-hmm. What she wants
is what I stole,
780
00:35:27,584 --> 00:35:30,127
and she'll happily string us up
by our testicles to get it.
781
00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:31,504
- Oof.
- And your vagina. Sorry.
782
00:35:31,505 --> 00:35:32,755
- Thank you.
- You should go
783
00:35:32,756 --> 00:35:34,423
before you're
implicated any further.
784
00:35:34,424 --> 00:35:37,218
You can shove
that idea,
785
00:35:37,219 --> 00:35:39,929
because I'm going with you guys
all the way to Ottawa.
786
00:35:39,930 --> 00:35:41,472
I gotta see this
thing through, buddy.
787
00:35:41,473 --> 00:35:44,559
No. I can't be responsible
for another soul, Klyle.
788
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,143
Oh, but this
guy gets to go?
789
00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:49,146
This useless piece
of this guy? No way.
790
00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:51,190
Probably couldn't shoot
a pheasant out of the sky
791
00:35:51,191 --> 00:35:52,608
with a sightless
crossbow,
792
00:35:52,609 --> 00:35:54,235
but you know
who can?
793
00:35:54,236 --> 00:35:55,987
Cash Israel. Yeah.
794
00:35:55,988 --> 00:35:57,363
You're not friends
with him again.
795
00:35:57,364 --> 00:35:58,948
- Yes, I am.
- You guys are talking?
796
00:35:58,949 --> 00:36:00,867
Yeah. We're talking,
and we're tight.
797
00:36:00,868 --> 00:36:02,326
And he told me one
thing. He said,
798
00:36:02,327 --> 00:36:04,579
"I'm gonna teach
you everything I know, pal."
799
00:36:04,580 --> 00:36:06,539
And then he gave me a kiss
on the cheek.
800
00:36:06,540 --> 00:36:11,043
Look. What I have here
is worth 27.7 million USD.
801
00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:12,670
I can--
802
00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:14,631
I cannot be responsible for
another soul, Klyle.
803
00:36:16,258 --> 00:36:17,717
- Fine.
- Thank you.
804
00:36:17,718 --> 00:36:22,346
I'll leave, but I'm not
going out without doing this!
805
00:36:24,933 --> 00:36:26,225
What is this thing?
806
00:36:26,226 --> 00:36:28,561
It's frigging heavy.
807
00:36:28,562 --> 00:36:30,105
What the... It's bolted.
808
00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:38,572
Fine.
809
00:36:40,616 --> 00:36:41,783
God damn it.
810
00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:44,660
Okay. Okay.
811
00:36:44,661 --> 00:36:46,579
Klyle's a lot.
812
00:36:46,580 --> 00:36:48,205
Wha-- What are you doing?
813
00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:49,832
Jesus.
Are you that unaware?
814
00:36:49,833 --> 00:36:51,751
I am done with
all of this.
815
00:36:51,752 --> 00:36:54,462
I'm taking whatever you stole,
and I'm calling the police.
816
00:36:54,463 --> 00:36:56,923
You can't do that. What about
getting to Ottawa on time, huh?
817
00:36:56,924 --> 00:36:59,133
If I stay with you, I'll
probably never make it up there.
818
00:36:59,134 --> 00:37:00,134
Let go of
my fucking bag!
819
00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:01,219
- Let go!
- Hey!
820
00:37:02,721 --> 00:37:04,681
Did you take something
out of here? Huh?
821
00:37:05,766 --> 00:37:06,850
Hell.
822
00:37:08,352 --> 00:37:09,394
What the fuck?
823
00:37:13,649 --> 00:37:16,317
Ah! You
truce-breaking fuck!
824
00:37:16,318 --> 00:37:18,611
What happened to
the Taco Gary's peace?
825
00:37:18,612 --> 00:37:20,613
- I beg your pardon?
- Don't play dumb with me.
826
00:37:20,614 --> 00:37:22,323
I know you're a member
of the Coalition.
827
00:37:22,324 --> 00:37:23,825
Danny. Danny!
828
00:37:29,623 --> 00:37:32,792
No, no, Klyle! No! No, no,
no, no! Fuck! Fuck!
829
00:37:32,793 --> 00:37:34,710
woman: Hey! Watch where
you're going!
830
00:37:34,711 --> 00:37:37,171
Fuck. God damn it!
831
00:37:37,172 --> 00:37:39,715
I swear to God, I'm going
to rip off his fucking head,
832
00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:41,258
shove it up
his ass, and fuck--
833
00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:42,302
Shut up!
834
00:37:45,180 --> 00:37:48,057
Listen to
me very closely.
835
00:37:48,058 --> 00:37:49,184
You're fucking
insane.
836
00:37:51,186 --> 00:37:53,396
- But--
- There is no "but", asshole.
837
00:37:53,397 --> 00:37:54,981
Wow. I can't believe
838
00:37:54,982 --> 00:37:56,816
my own brother's
turning against me, too.
839
00:37:56,817 --> 00:37:59,193
Of course you can't believe
it, because it's the truth.
840
00:37:59,194 --> 00:38:01,821
Look at me. I have been shot and
stabbed and-- and drugged
841
00:38:01,822 --> 00:38:04,156
and fucking kidnapped,
all in the last 16 hours.
842
00:38:04,157 --> 00:38:05,366
I know this
sounds crazy,
843
00:38:05,367 --> 00:38:07,618
but it's still all
part of the plan, okay?
844
00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:09,620
I don't like seeing you like
this! You know how hard it is--
845
00:38:09,621 --> 00:38:11,414
Oh, my God! Are you actually
trying to play the victim
846
00:38:11,415 --> 00:38:13,874
right now, seriously?
You have got to be
847
00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:16,669
the most
selfishly psychotic fuck-up
848
00:38:16,670 --> 00:38:18,212
on the entire planet,
849
00:38:18,213 --> 00:38:21,007
and I am not gonna let you
ruin my life anymore.
850
00:38:21,008 --> 00:38:22,508
Wait. No.
You can't go.
851
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:25,220
This whole trip
is about you.
852
00:38:26,972 --> 00:38:30,349
Mom and Dad were right to
cut you out of their lives,
853
00:38:30,350 --> 00:38:34,812
and my only regret... is
that I didn't do the same.
854
00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:37,816
You are what's wrong
with this world, Danny.
855
00:38:39,443 --> 00:38:40,569
Never contact
me again.
856
00:38:45,032 --> 00:38:46,033
You coming?
857
00:38:49,661 --> 00:38:52,580
Come on, Allison. You are
clearly a smart person.
858
00:38:52,581 --> 00:38:55,041
If you want some excitement in
your life, just buy a Vespa.
859
00:38:55,042 --> 00:38:57,251
It's a lot safer
than all this!
860
00:39:05,218 --> 00:39:06,510
I'm going to
stay with Danny.
861
00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:08,554
Ah!
862
00:39:08,555 --> 00:39:11,932
Okay! Okay!
863
00:39:11,933 --> 00:39:16,395
Am I the last sane person
left in this entire country?
864
00:39:16,396 --> 00:39:18,230
Okay! Okay!
865
00:39:18,231 --> 00:39:20,649
It's okay. Just let
him cool off a little bit.
866
00:39:20,650 --> 00:39:21,776
He ain't going far.
867
00:39:21,777 --> 00:39:24,403
You want a burrito?
I'm starving.
868
00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:38,043
Okay.
869
00:39:42,255 --> 00:39:44,465
Uh, excuse me.
870
00:39:44,466 --> 00:39:46,842
Hey, uh, can
I use your phone?
871
00:39:46,843 --> 00:39:49,011
I'm not allowed to let
customers use the phone.
872
00:39:49,012 --> 00:39:50,221
Use your
own damn phone.
873
00:39:50,222 --> 00:39:51,931
Right. Well, that
is a very good idea,
874
00:39:51,932 --> 00:39:53,808
except it
has been stolen.
875
00:39:53,809 --> 00:39:55,810
Hence why I'm asking
to borrow yours.
876
00:39:55,811 --> 00:39:57,269
Customers
aren't allowed.
877
00:39:57,270 --> 00:39:59,396
- It's an emergency.
- What kind of emergency?
878
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,774
Well, I have been kidnapped
and shot, for one.
879
00:40:01,775 --> 00:40:03,567
You been shot?
880
00:40:03,568 --> 00:40:05,152
You think I'm dumb.
881
00:40:05,153 --> 00:40:07,113
This motherfucker.
882
00:40:07,114 --> 00:40:09,073
Would it help if I told
you that my fiancée's dog
883
00:40:09,074 --> 00:40:11,325
has been kidnapped by
a one-eyed Portuguese man
884
00:40:11,326 --> 00:40:13,327
and I need to tell
the police about it?
885
00:40:13,328 --> 00:40:14,621
Of course.
886
00:40:15,622 --> 00:40:16,748
Here. Take it.
887
00:40:25,882 --> 00:40:27,675
911.
What's your emergency?
888
00:40:27,676 --> 00:40:29,552
Yes. Hello. Hi. My name
is Luke Davenport,
889
00:40:29,553 --> 00:40:31,971
and I have been kidnapped by my
brother, Danny Davenport.
890
00:40:31,972 --> 00:40:34,682
I-- I believe he is wanted,
or maybe we both are,
891
00:40:34,683 --> 00:40:36,350
but I-- I am the victim here.
892
00:40:36,351 --> 00:40:38,894
I was the one who was kidnapped,
and I have been drugged.
893
00:40:38,895 --> 00:40:40,521
And I have been shot,
and-- and you--
894
00:40:40,522 --> 00:40:42,190
One moment, please.
895
00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:47,112
So... what brings
you out here?
896
00:40:48,155 --> 00:40:49,530
Were you not
listening?
897
00:40:49,531 --> 00:40:52,449
Oh. Dog guy, right?
898
00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:54,285
Is your brother
currently with you?
899
00:40:54,286 --> 00:40:55,703
No, he is not.
900
00:40:55,704 --> 00:40:57,121
What's your location?
901
00:40:57,122 --> 00:40:58,706
Hey, what's the name
of this place?
902
00:40:58,707 --> 00:41:00,666
Huh? What's that?
903
00:41:00,667 --> 00:41:02,085
Where are we?
904
00:41:04,462 --> 00:41:07,089
You know, if anything happened
to my little ruff-ruff,
905
00:41:07,090 --> 00:41:08,466
- I'd do the same.
- I don't...
906
00:41:11,845 --> 00:41:13,304
Whoa!
907
00:41:13,305 --> 00:41:14,930
Hands on
your fucking head.
908
00:41:14,931 --> 00:41:16,140
Hands on your fucking head!
909
00:41:16,141 --> 00:41:18,058
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
910
00:41:18,059 --> 00:41:20,352
- I'm on your side!
- I'm on your side.
911
00:41:20,353 --> 00:41:21,979
I don't really
sound like that. Come on.
912
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:23,480
Oh. What the fuck
is that?
913
00:41:23,481 --> 00:41:24,732
Sir, that's my penis!
914
00:41:24,733 --> 00:41:26,275
Wow. Very nice.
915
00:41:26,276 --> 00:41:27,735
It's very nice,
but a lot of skin.
916
00:41:27,736 --> 00:41:29,486
What's wrong with that?
What's happening there?
917
00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:30,905
What? No!
You don't understand!
918
00:41:30,906 --> 00:41:34,033
- I was taken against my will--
- Shut the fuck up!
919
00:41:34,034 --> 00:41:36,493
No. It's-- It's
Danny that you want,
920
00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:38,746
and I-- I can tell
you where he's going!
921
00:41:38,747 --> 00:41:40,789
You think I'm dumb?
Huh?
922
00:41:40,790 --> 00:41:43,000
He's going to Ottawa,
him and your other accomplice,
923
00:41:43,001 --> 00:41:44,627
the kooky guy with
the beautiful hair.
924
00:41:44,628 --> 00:41:46,670
No. They are
not my accomplices.
925
00:41:46,671 --> 00:41:48,297
Heh! So you do
think I'm dumb.
926
00:41:48,298 --> 00:41:49,757
Okay. That's how we're
going to play it?
927
00:41:49,758 --> 00:41:51,550
No. No. Listen. I just-- I
just-- I need to talk
928
00:41:51,551 --> 00:41:53,719
to a lawyer, okay?
I do get one phone call?
929
00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:55,763
Oh, my friend, that
is where you're wrong.
930
00:41:55,764 --> 00:41:57,514
You see, I'm
not the police,
931
00:41:57,515 --> 00:42:00,351
and you don't get
to call nobody.
932
00:42:00,352 --> 00:42:03,812
What?
933
00:42:10,779 --> 00:42:12,155
Come on.
934
00:42:35,845 --> 00:42:37,179
What is this place?
935
00:42:37,180 --> 00:42:40,182
My summer bomb
shelter, of course.
936
00:42:40,183 --> 00:42:41,558
Jason Biggs?
937
00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:44,186
What? Were you expecting
Todd Simmons or something?
938
00:42:44,187 --> 00:42:47,690
Uh-oh! That was good.
Oh, my goodness.
939
00:42:47,691 --> 00:42:49,275
That was funny.
940
00:42:49,276 --> 00:42:50,484
Oh, yeah.
941
00:42:50,485 --> 00:42:52,194
You're supposed
to be dead.
942
00:42:52,195 --> 00:42:53,821
God. You look
terrible, buddy.
943
00:42:53,822 --> 00:42:55,197
Tiago, did you
offer him a drink?
944
00:42:55,198 --> 00:42:56,699
- I did not.
- What about some mango?
945
00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:58,242
I could slice
one up for you.
946
00:42:58,243 --> 00:42:59,660
I'm okay.
947
00:42:59,661 --> 00:43:01,495
What do you think, Tiago?
Should we, like,
948
00:43:01,496 --> 00:43:03,205
tie him up or something?
Is that a good idea?
949
00:43:03,206 --> 00:43:05,374
You know, it's really
whatever you feel, Jason.
950
00:43:05,375 --> 00:43:08,043
I don't know, Tiago.
That's why I was asking you.
951
00:43:08,044 --> 00:43:10,004
- Do we even have rope?
- Oh, we have rope. Come on.
952
00:43:10,005 --> 00:43:12,089
Okay. Great. Then we might
as well use it, right?
953
00:43:12,090 --> 00:43:13,132
Mm-hmm.
954
00:43:13,133 --> 00:43:15,384
Maybe some duct tape
for his mouth?
955
00:43:15,385 --> 00:43:17,052
Huh?
How's that look?
956
00:43:17,053 --> 00:43:18,304
- Perfect.
- Great.
957
00:43:18,305 --> 00:43:19,596
- Well done, Tiago.
- Thank you.
958
00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:20,889
Go have yourself
some mango.
959
00:43:20,890 --> 00:43:22,308
Hey, I don't
want to be rude,
960
00:43:22,309 --> 00:43:23,726
but I'm kind of,
like, ugh,
961
00:43:23,727 --> 00:43:26,271
up to here with mangos
for today, so...
962
00:43:31,776 --> 00:43:33,444
Suit yourself. Heh.
963
00:43:33,445 --> 00:43:35,612
Lots of good mangos not being
taken advantage of.
964
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:36,947
True.
965
00:43:36,948 --> 00:43:39,325
So... ahem,
you are probably wondering
966
00:43:39,326 --> 00:43:41,327
why haven't we shot you
in the face yet?
967
00:43:41,328 --> 00:43:43,162
- Unh-unh.
- It's because we need
968
00:43:43,163 --> 00:43:46,206
your brother, the criminal
formerly known
969
00:43:46,207 --> 00:43:49,460
as Sheriff Deacon Shrimp.
970
00:43:49,461 --> 00:43:53,339
You see, I...
am the victim here, okay?
971
00:43:53,340 --> 00:43:56,300
Sure, myself and
thousands of others
972
00:43:56,301 --> 00:43:59,053
may be faking our
death in order to...
973
00:43:59,054 --> 00:44:01,638
Well, I'm sure
you know all that.
974
00:44:03,808 --> 00:44:05,017
What's that?
975
00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:10,105
Is...
976
00:44:10,106 --> 00:44:11,523
Do you get-- What?
One more time.
977
00:44:14,027 --> 00:44:16,070
This is-- This is making me
so uncomfortable.
978
00:44:16,071 --> 00:44:18,655
This whole, like, you know,
tied-up interrogation vibe,
979
00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:20,157
it makes me feel like
the bad guy.
980
00:44:20,158 --> 00:44:21,742
- And you're not the bad guy.
- Exactly.
981
00:44:21,743 --> 00:44:23,077
- You are the victim.
- Thank you.
982
00:44:23,078 --> 00:44:24,912
- Let's scale it back.
- Let's scale it back.
983
00:44:24,913 --> 00:44:27,873
- Yeah. Little bit.
- Scaling it back. Okay.
984
00:44:27,874 --> 00:44:29,250
Uh...
985
00:44:31,294 --> 00:44:33,463
Nope. Uh, okay.
986
00:44:35,048 --> 00:44:36,465
How does
this look, Tiago?
987
00:44:36,466 --> 00:44:38,008
Yeah. You know,
it looks like two guys
988
00:44:38,009 --> 00:44:39,927
just casually
enjoying mangos.
989
00:44:39,928 --> 00:44:42,471
Perfect!
Perfect. Okay. Great.
990
00:44:42,472 --> 00:44:44,098
Great. Now, uh, where was I?
991
00:44:44,099 --> 00:44:45,891
Ah, yes.
992
00:44:45,892 --> 00:44:49,686
The point is,
I am not hurting anyone,
993
00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:51,438
but if I don't have
my ticket,
994
00:44:51,439 --> 00:44:54,525
this whole charade would
be for naught, right?
995
00:44:54,526 --> 00:44:55,609
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Right.
996
00:44:55,610 --> 00:44:58,404
So I need you to
contact your brother
997
00:44:58,405 --> 00:44:59,905
and explain
the situation.
998
00:44:59,906 --> 00:45:01,573
What is
the situation?
999
00:45:01,574 --> 00:45:04,243
That I'm
being held hostage?
1000
00:45:04,244 --> 00:45:05,577
- Hold up!
- Whoa!
1001
00:45:05,578 --> 00:45:07,413
Wait a minute.
1002
00:45:07,414 --> 00:45:09,123
- Stop that.
- Yikes.
1003
00:45:09,124 --> 00:45:10,624
- Whew! Big word.
- No. That's, uh--
1004
00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:13,293
Ooh, that word. And--
and again,
1005
00:45:13,294 --> 00:45:16,130
I am not
the bad guy, okay?
1006
00:45:16,131 --> 00:45:17,339
- You know what?
- Yep?
1007
00:45:17,340 --> 00:45:18,590
- Tiago?
- Yep?
1008
00:45:18,591 --> 00:45:20,050
Bring the ropes back.
1009
00:45:20,051 --> 00:45:23,178
Okay. Much better.
Much better.
1010
00:45:23,179 --> 00:45:26,432
Now, you need to
inform your brother
1011
00:45:26,433 --> 00:45:29,768
that he has 24 hours to find
that Kyle friend of his.
1012
00:45:29,769 --> 00:45:31,562
Uh, it's-- it's Klyle.
1013
00:45:31,563 --> 00:45:33,021
What?
1014
00:45:33,022 --> 00:45:34,231
His name is Klyle.
1015
00:45:34,232 --> 00:45:35,816
Are you, like, stuttering,
or is...
1016
00:45:35,817 --> 00:45:36,984
No, it's Klyle.
1017
00:45:36,985 --> 00:45:38,944
- Klyle?
- With, like, an L-sound?
1018
00:45:38,945 --> 00:45:40,028
- Yeah.
- Huh.
1019
00:45:40,029 --> 00:45:42,281
- K-L?
- Y-L-E.
1020
00:45:42,282 --> 00:45:43,282
- Uh...
- Oh.
1021
00:45:43,283 --> 00:45:44,825
- Stupid name.
- Yeah.
1022
00:45:44,826 --> 00:45:47,453
That does explain, though, why
he's been so difficult to track.
1023
00:45:47,454 --> 00:45:49,288
- He got you.
- Yeah. Very clever.
1024
00:45:49,289 --> 00:45:51,206
Very clever. Regardless...
1025
00:45:51,207 --> 00:45:54,376
You need to facilitate returning
what is rightfully mine,
1026
00:45:54,377 --> 00:45:56,545
or...
1027
00:45:57,589 --> 00:45:59,089
This dog gets it.
1028
00:45:59,090 --> 00:46:01,258
Who-- Whose dog is that?
1029
00:46:01,259 --> 00:46:03,594
Lives are on the line here!
1030
00:46:03,595 --> 00:46:05,804
Don't make Tiago become
the bad guy.
1031
00:46:05,805 --> 00:46:07,097
I'll do it,
but I don't want to.
1032
00:46:07,098 --> 00:46:08,640
Danny doesn't even have
a cell phone!
1033
00:46:08,641 --> 00:46:10,309
There's literally no way
to contact him.
1034
00:46:10,310 --> 00:46:11,852
Oh well, in that case, Tiago?
1035
00:46:11,853 --> 00:46:13,979
- Bye-bye, puppy.
- No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait.
1036
00:46:13,980 --> 00:46:16,273
Wait. I just remembered.
He gave me this.
1037
00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:19,526
Damn it.
1038
00:46:19,527 --> 00:46:21,195
- Oopsie.
- Tiago?
1039
00:46:21,196 --> 00:46:22,404
Yeah.
1040
00:46:22,405 --> 00:46:24,823
- Did we not frisk him?
- I did!
1041
00:46:24,824 --> 00:46:26,074
I did, Jason, I swear.
1042
00:46:26,075 --> 00:46:27,826
It's just,
I got super distracted
1043
00:46:27,827 --> 00:46:30,078
by his massive amount of
foreskin, man.
1044
00:46:30,079 --> 00:46:31,788
It was like tickling
a Shar Pei, man.
1045
00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:33,958
- You could feel all that?
- Dude, you can see it!
1046
00:46:35,168 --> 00:46:38,462
Oh my God. Wow.
You can see it.
1047
00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:40,047
- Yeah.
- Very nice.
1048
00:46:40,048 --> 00:46:42,049
- What is it?
- I don't know.
1049
00:46:42,050 --> 00:46:44,426
He told me it's like,
a locating beacon
1050
00:46:44,427 --> 00:46:47,012
for if we ever get separated.
1051
00:46:47,013 --> 00:46:49,806
This is obviously just a black
Rubik's cube.
1052
00:46:49,807 --> 00:46:52,100
Oh, I see what's happening.
You think we're dumb.
1053
00:46:52,101 --> 00:46:53,810
No, no, no. No, no, no.
1054
00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:56,021
No, not at all.
1055
00:46:56,022 --> 00:46:58,148
I know my tech,
and that is definitely
1056
00:46:58,149 --> 00:47:00,526
some Elder high tech right
there.
1057
00:47:00,527 --> 00:47:01,860
Okay, fine.
1058
00:47:01,861 --> 00:47:03,320
How does it work,
smart guy?
1059
00:47:03,321 --> 00:47:05,698
I-- I don't know.
1060
00:47:07,116 --> 00:47:08,450
Um...
1061
00:47:08,451 --> 00:47:10,035
What if I just, like,
twist it?
1062
00:47:10,036 --> 00:47:11,578
- Good thinking.
- Great.
1063
00:47:36,271 --> 00:47:38,647
♪ Born a worm ♪
1064
00:47:38,648 --> 00:47:41,024
♪ Spins a cocoon ♪
1065
00:47:41,025 --> 00:47:43,277
♪ Goes to sleep ♪
1066
00:47:43,278 --> 00:47:45,487
♪ Wakes up a butterfly ♪
1067
00:47:45,488 --> 00:47:49,993
♪ Oh, what the fuck
is that about? ♪
1068
00:47:50,994 --> 00:47:55,330
♪ What the fuck
is that about? ♪
1069
00:47:55,331 --> 00:47:59,918
♪ Oooh-ooh ♪
1070
00:47:59,919 --> 00:48:04,756
♪ Ooh-ooh ♪
1071
00:48:04,757 --> 00:48:06,967
♪ Oooh ♪
1072
00:48:10,346 --> 00:48:12,723
There's Mr. Sleepy Head!
1073
00:48:12,724 --> 00:48:14,725
- What happened?
- I don't know.
1074
00:48:14,726 --> 00:48:17,269
You were just having one crazy
ass nightmare or something.
1075
00:48:17,270 --> 00:48:20,022
I'm just kidding. Jason Biggs
really did kidnap you.
1076
00:48:20,023 --> 00:48:22,691
I figured you'd wander off
at some point and get snagged
1077
00:48:22,692 --> 00:48:25,110
by one of his minions,
so the beacon I gave you
1078
00:48:25,111 --> 00:48:26,778
was actually an Elder
stun grenade.
1079
00:48:29,407 --> 00:48:32,577
What the fuck
is going on?!
1080
00:48:34,662 --> 00:48:36,455
I haven't been completely
honest with you.
1081
00:48:36,456 --> 00:48:37,706
No shit!
1082
00:48:37,707 --> 00:48:39,791
The police aren't the only
ones that are after me.
1083
00:48:39,792 --> 00:48:42,544
I had in my possession extremely
classified information.
1084
00:48:42,545 --> 00:48:44,463
Proof that aliens
not only exist
1085
00:48:44,464 --> 00:48:45,839
but have been
living amongst us
1086
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,176
since the 1996
Summer Olympics.
1087
00:48:51,387 --> 00:48:54,222
You just had your first run-in
with a member of the Coalition.
1088
00:48:54,223 --> 00:48:57,601
They're a group of tech giants
and celebrities and politicians
1089
00:48:57,602 --> 00:48:59,311
who have been secretly
dealing with
1090
00:48:59,312 --> 00:49:01,938
said extra-terrestrial beings,
we call them "Elders,"
1091
00:49:01,939 --> 00:49:04,942
selling Earth's natural
resources for decades.
1092
00:49:09,864 --> 00:49:12,783
The Coalition agreed to let
the Elders suck the Earth dry
1093
00:49:12,784 --> 00:49:14,201
under two conditions.
1094
00:49:14,202 --> 00:49:15,994
One, that they would provide
space shuttles
1095
00:49:15,995 --> 00:49:17,245
to go
to a new habitable world,
1096
00:49:17,246 --> 00:49:20,583
and two, that they'd get 10%
of the back end.
1097
00:49:24,045 --> 00:49:26,088
Why do you think so many rich
and famous people
1098
00:49:26,089 --> 00:49:28,423
have been dying at such a rapid
pace these last few years?
1099
00:49:28,424 --> 00:49:30,133
Take Jason Biggs,
for instance.
1100
00:49:30,134 --> 00:49:31,593
It's because
they're not dying!
1101
00:49:31,594 --> 00:49:33,804
They're covering up for
the fact that they are leaving
1102
00:49:33,805 --> 00:49:35,722
this God-forsaken rock
for greener pastures.
1103
00:49:35,723 --> 00:49:36,973
I didn't believe it either
1104
00:49:36,974 --> 00:49:38,809
until I saw Jason Biggs
face down in a mango.
1105
00:49:38,810 --> 00:49:41,228
It might be the most insane
conspiracy theory on the planet,
1106
00:49:41,229 --> 00:49:42,979
but if everything Danny
is saying is true,
1107
00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:45,399
then we've gotta do something
about it.
1108
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:47,818
I don't care!
1109
00:49:47,819 --> 00:49:50,237
Stop involving me in this!
1110
00:49:50,238 --> 00:49:52,531
We want to let the world know
that the planet
1111
00:49:52,532 --> 00:49:54,408
is being sold off by
the Coalition.
1112
00:49:54,409 --> 00:49:55,742
I don't care!
1113
00:49:55,743 --> 00:49:57,869
I just want to go to Ottawa!
That's it!
1114
00:49:57,870 --> 00:49:59,121
We're gonna make it
to Ottawa,
1115
00:49:59,122 --> 00:50:00,497
and you're gonna get there
on time.
1116
00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:02,499
And once the whistle is blown,
no one can touch us.
1117
00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:04,126
Like Snowden and other
tattletales,
1118
00:50:04,127 --> 00:50:06,294
we'll be protected and our names
will be cleared.
1119
00:50:06,295 --> 00:50:08,630
But you're gonna have
to stick with us.
1120
00:50:08,631 --> 00:50:10,090
Okay, buddy?
1121
00:50:10,091 --> 00:50:11,675
How do you feel about that?
1122
00:50:19,559 --> 00:50:21,351
God damn Coalition.
1123
00:50:21,352 --> 00:50:23,395
We don't have time for this.
1124
00:50:23,396 --> 00:50:24,897
Ooh.
1125
00:50:35,074 --> 00:50:36,700
You all right?
1126
00:50:36,701 --> 00:50:38,410
I just wanted
a better life.
1127
00:50:38,411 --> 00:50:41,037
A fresh start
in a new place.
1128
00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:44,332
You'll get it...
one way or another.
1129
00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:48,044
Look at what he
has done to me.
1130
00:50:48,045 --> 00:50:50,213
Oh, wait, you can't,
1131
00:50:50,214 --> 00:50:54,134
because you prefer
to be blind!
1132
00:50:54,135 --> 00:50:55,510
This isn't normal!
1133
00:50:55,511 --> 00:50:57,137
There's no such thing
as normal, Luke.
1134
00:50:57,138 --> 00:50:58,597
Look, I used to have
1135
00:50:58,598 --> 00:51:00,223
a strong narrative that I
believed in.
1136
00:51:00,224 --> 00:51:01,850
- Stay back!
- But after my mom's death,
1137
00:51:01,851 --> 00:51:03,685
and losing everything
to a houseboat fire,
1138
00:51:03,686 --> 00:51:05,479
I realized the only way
I was going to survive
1139
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:08,356
this chaotic world is if I just
kept admitting to myself
1140
00:51:08,357 --> 00:51:09,816
that I don't get it.
1141
00:51:09,817 --> 00:51:12,444
I had to accept the absurdity,
accept the chaos.
1142
00:51:12,445 --> 00:51:14,488
Accept the Todd Simmons
of it all.
1143
00:51:14,489 --> 00:51:16,783
Okay, we've gotta go.
Right now.
1144
00:51:24,207 --> 00:51:27,459
Hey, boss, can... I just have,
like, a couple of notes
1145
00:51:27,460 --> 00:51:31,129
but like, I don't want you to
take this the wrong way. Okay?
1146
00:51:31,130 --> 00:51:32,839
- Yeah. Sure, sure, sure.
- Okay,
1147
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:35,008
sometimes I feel
like we can, um, like,
1148
00:51:35,009 --> 00:51:38,970
shorten the time between, like,
talking to the people
1149
00:51:38,971 --> 00:51:41,014
- and, like, killing them.
- That's a good note.
1150
00:51:41,015 --> 00:51:42,641
Good note. Thank you.
1151
00:51:42,642 --> 00:51:44,643
You know, the power
that you exude
1152
00:51:44,644 --> 00:51:46,853
when you, like, say less,
is, wow.
1153
00:51:46,854 --> 00:51:49,105
I understand what you're
saying. I get it. I get it.
1154
00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:51,107
- Thank you, Tiago.
- But, like, do you, though?
1155
00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,901
Yes, Tiago! I said I get it.
1156
00:51:52,902 --> 00:51:54,195
God.
1157
00:51:59,826 --> 00:52:02,410
I have what you seek.
If you'd like to end this race,
1158
00:52:02,411 --> 00:52:04,162
come to the following
coordinates
1159
00:52:04,163 --> 00:52:06,414
with $27.7 million dollars
1160
00:52:06,415 --> 00:52:09,584
in a large Gucci Vuitton
briefcase.
1161
00:52:09,585 --> 00:52:11,503
This is Klyle,
by the way.
1162
00:52:11,504 --> 00:52:14,965
You know
I don't mess around.
1163
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:20,136
How do I turn this off?
1164
00:52:20,137 --> 00:52:22,639
I was not shitting.
1165
00:52:25,935 --> 00:52:27,436
Did you hear that?
1166
00:52:28,980 --> 00:52:30,355
No, I'm pretty far away.
1167
00:52:30,356 --> 00:52:31,940
- What?
- No.
1168
00:52:31,941 --> 00:52:34,901
- 'Cause I'm pretty far away.
- Okay.
1169
00:52:34,902 --> 00:52:38,655
Hey, Tiago, what rhymes
with "12:30 am"?
1170
00:52:38,656 --> 00:52:40,615
- Phlegm.
- Phlegm! Okay, yeah.
1171
00:52:40,616 --> 00:52:42,200
I can make that work.
1172
00:52:42,201 --> 00:52:45,287
Oh. Looks like Klyle just
crossed the border.
1173
00:52:45,288 --> 00:52:46,621
How do you know?
1174
00:52:46,622 --> 00:52:49,165
Same reason I knew where Luke
was... microchips.
1175
00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:51,334
You see, your soccer mom
conspiracy theorist
1176
00:52:51,335 --> 00:52:53,795
thinks that the government
tracks us through vaccines.
1177
00:52:53,796 --> 00:52:56,381
Not true. In fact, not even the
Elders have that kind of tech.
1178
00:52:56,382 --> 00:52:58,258
No, it's any time you go get
your teeth cleaned
1179
00:52:58,259 --> 00:53:00,927
or a cavity filled, the dentist
injects you with microchips.
1180
00:53:00,928 --> 00:53:03,221
So, you're saying all dentists
are actually undercover
1181
00:53:03,222 --> 00:53:04,973
- government agents?
- Contractors, yes.
1182
00:53:04,974 --> 00:53:06,975
Think about it. I mean, have you
ever met a dentist
1183
00:53:06,976 --> 00:53:09,644
that doesn't seem like they're
hiding some horrible secret?
1184
00:53:09,645 --> 00:53:10,979
The answer is no.
1185
00:53:10,980 --> 00:53:13,398
So, what's our plan for
crossing, badger?
1186
00:53:13,399 --> 00:53:15,984
Oh, hah!
1187
00:53:18,613 --> 00:53:20,822
Now it's time for you to get a
taste of your own bullshit!
1188
00:53:20,823 --> 00:53:22,073
Go on, tell him, Allison.
1189
00:53:22,074 --> 00:53:23,950
Tell him that you--
you're not really a badger
1190
00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:25,869
or whatever the fuck.
Or no, no, better yet,
1191
00:53:25,870 --> 00:53:28,371
why don't you say...
1192
00:53:28,372 --> 00:53:30,790
"I haven't been completely
honest with you, Danny."
1193
00:53:30,791 --> 00:53:32,375
Luke, I don't think you--
1194
00:53:32,376 --> 00:53:35,087
No, no! Just, tell him
the truth.
1195
00:53:37,131 --> 00:53:39,883
I haven't been completely
honest with you, Danny.
1196
00:53:39,884 --> 00:53:42,302
Ha-ha!
1197
00:53:42,303 --> 00:53:44,054
What do you mean?
1198
00:53:48,559 --> 00:53:52,604
I mean... the subterranean
bobsled track that was
1199
00:53:52,605 --> 00:53:54,439
big enough to smuggle cars
collapsed last fall.
1200
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:56,232
We're gonna have to pass through
cross point 11
1201
00:53:56,233 --> 00:53:58,109
using a basic diversion tactic.
From 3pm to 5pm there are
1202
00:53:58,110 --> 00:53:59,819
only two agents stopping us
from getting across.
1203
00:53:59,820 --> 00:54:01,529
From there, it's a straight shot
to highway 34.
1204
00:54:01,530 --> 00:54:03,490
God damn it!
1205
00:54:03,491 --> 00:54:05,784
So, your subterranean
bobsled track, that's like,
1206
00:54:05,785 --> 00:54:07,786
a Canadian version of
an Underground Railroad.
1207
00:54:07,787 --> 00:54:09,329
- Shut up!
- Would've been perfect.
1208
00:54:09,330 --> 00:54:12,123
No matter. So, what's your
diversion plan?
1209
00:54:12,124 --> 00:54:14,292
I'll leave that up to you,
but it's gotta be big.
1210
00:54:14,293 --> 00:54:16,503
Afterwards, meet up at these
coordinates just north
1211
00:54:16,504 --> 00:54:18,380
- of the border.
- Copy that. Roger.
1212
00:54:18,381 --> 00:54:20,048
Over and out.
1213
00:54:20,049 --> 00:54:21,967
These days, its hard to hold
anyone's attention,
1214
00:54:21,968 --> 00:54:24,177
so it's gotta make as little
sense as possible.
1215
00:54:24,178 --> 00:54:25,805
We need to make a few stops.
1216
00:54:37,650 --> 00:54:40,694
Phew! Well,
that went smoothly.
1217
00:54:40,695 --> 00:54:42,320
Okay. According to
Klyle's teeth,
1218
00:54:42,321 --> 00:54:44,322
he's just off the main road by
Big Mountain Crest.
1219
00:54:44,323 --> 00:54:46,324
Aren't you even gonna ask me how
I made it look like
1220
00:54:46,325 --> 00:54:48,201
I sucked the blood out of that
live chicken
1221
00:54:48,202 --> 00:54:52,080
without actually having--
1222
00:55:15,563 --> 00:55:17,814
Bawk-bawk. Bawk...
1223
00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:19,441
What happened?
1224
00:55:19,442 --> 00:55:21,860
Is that rhetorical,
or can you actually not see?
1225
00:55:21,861 --> 00:55:23,195
Both.
1226
00:55:29,660 --> 00:55:30,995
Whoa.
1227
00:55:32,329 --> 00:55:35,081
I can tell by Klyle's teeth
he's still alive.
1228
00:55:35,082 --> 00:55:37,167
We just have to follow
his tracks.
1229
00:55:37,168 --> 00:55:40,170
You can see here, he was dragged
off by several people
1230
00:55:40,171 --> 00:55:42,922
or one person who was really
good at break dancing.
1231
00:55:42,923 --> 00:55:45,091
We'll go with the former.
1232
00:55:49,555 --> 00:55:50,638
You okay, bud?
1233
00:55:50,639 --> 00:55:52,348
Oh, yeah.
I'm totally cool, man.
1234
00:55:52,349 --> 00:55:54,017
I know that look.
1235
00:55:54,018 --> 00:55:56,478
You look like you're about to
have as psychotic break.
1236
00:55:56,479 --> 00:55:58,688
Right again, Danny!
1237
00:55:58,689 --> 00:56:00,607
You've actually been right
about a lot lately.
1238
00:56:00,608 --> 00:56:02,609
- But?
- No, there's no "but," man.
1239
00:56:02,610 --> 00:56:04,861
You're fucking Galileo.
You're-- You're--
1240
00:56:04,862 --> 00:56:06,362
You're the boy with the wolf.
1241
00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:08,198
In fact, I can't believe
I'm about to say this
1242
00:56:08,199 --> 00:56:10,658
after everything
you've put me through, but...
1243
00:56:10,659 --> 00:56:12,994
I am sorry
for ever doubting you.
1244
00:56:12,995 --> 00:56:16,122
You clearly know more about how
the world works than I do.
1245
00:56:16,123 --> 00:56:18,500
In fact, I would give you a hug
right now,
1246
00:56:18,501 --> 00:56:19,667
if I could, but you know.
1247
00:56:19,668 --> 00:56:21,836
Well, that's so sweet.
1248
00:56:21,837 --> 00:56:24,672
I'm glad you finally came
around.
1249
00:56:24,673 --> 00:56:26,217
Yeah.
1250
00:56:27,551 --> 00:56:29,052
Aww. Love you, man.
1251
00:56:29,053 --> 00:56:30,678
Love you too.
1252
00:56:32,765 --> 00:56:34,474
- Fuck!
- No! No! Back off!
1253
00:56:34,475 --> 00:56:36,017
- Back off!
- Calm down!
1254
00:56:36,018 --> 00:56:39,020
I am calm. I am being calm.
I am the only one whose calm.
1255
00:56:39,021 --> 00:56:40,271
No, no, no, no!
1256
00:56:40,272 --> 00:56:41,815
That's better. Ow!
1257
00:56:41,816 --> 00:56:43,858
What are you doing?
1258
00:56:46,904 --> 00:56:48,530
Ooh!
1259
00:56:48,531 --> 00:56:50,740
Fuck! Stop! Jesus Christ!
1260
00:56:50,741 --> 00:56:52,408
Focus on the eyes,
look me in the eyes.
1261
00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:53,660
- You look at me!
- Calm down.
1262
00:56:53,661 --> 00:56:55,453
You can't even see!
You can't see any of this!
1263
00:56:55,454 --> 00:56:57,247
Get some fucking glasses!
1264
00:56:57,248 --> 00:56:59,415
What? No! Stop. Okay, enough!
1265
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:01,042
Fuck. Ah.
1266
00:57:01,043 --> 00:57:02,794
Ow, fuck! I did too much.
Gimme one more.
1267
00:57:02,795 --> 00:57:05,421
Ah! Now we're even. Okay.
1268
00:57:08,175 --> 00:57:10,051
No, no, wait! Wait!
What about our deal?
1269
00:57:10,052 --> 00:57:12,011
- I'm dealing with this.
- Hey, a deal is a deal.
1270
00:57:12,012 --> 00:57:14,556
We signed the contract in Taco
Gary's guacamole picante.
1271
00:57:14,557 --> 00:57:16,432
- I did my part.
- Okay.
1272
00:57:16,433 --> 00:57:18,935
Take your damn ticket.
1273
00:57:18,936 --> 00:57:20,104
Wait up!
1274
00:57:21,147 --> 00:57:22,690
Good luck.
1275
00:57:24,692 --> 00:57:26,110
Got the golden ticket.
1276
00:57:27,319 --> 00:57:28,778
Not bad, bro!
1277
00:57:28,779 --> 00:57:30,613
I'm proud of you for taking
the initiative.
1278
00:57:30,614 --> 00:57:32,448
You don't need me
anymore. Let me go.
1279
00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:34,284
There's no point in leaving,
Luke.
1280
00:57:34,285 --> 00:57:37,121
I haven't been completely
honest with you.
1281
00:57:38,789 --> 00:57:40,540
There is no job in Ottawa.
1282
00:57:40,541 --> 00:57:41,958
Nice try.
Go fuck yourself!
1283
00:57:41,959 --> 00:57:44,127
There's not.
I made the whole thing up.
1284
00:57:44,128 --> 00:57:45,587
It's not gonna work!
1285
00:57:45,588 --> 00:57:47,255
All right, if you don't
believe me,
1286
00:57:47,256 --> 00:57:49,090
take the name of that new
dinosaur,
1287
00:57:49,091 --> 00:57:51,926
"Snommisddot,"
and spell it backwards.
1288
00:57:51,927 --> 00:57:53,595
As if!
1289
00:57:53,596 --> 00:57:56,139
That's-- That's just the
stupidest thing I ever...
1290
00:58:02,104 --> 00:58:04,355
No. No...
1291
00:58:04,356 --> 00:58:06,649
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1292
00:58:06,650 --> 00:58:08,860
It spells "Todd Simmons,"
doesn't it.
1293
00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:12,864
I'm sorry, brother, but the
ends justify the beans, okay?
1294
00:58:12,865 --> 00:58:14,867
This is for your own good.
1295
00:58:16,535 --> 00:58:18,953
It was you?
1296
00:58:18,954 --> 00:58:23,875
This whole time,
the months of emails.
1297
00:58:23,876 --> 00:58:26,753
And the calls.
1298
00:58:26,754 --> 00:58:29,047
The fucking femur bone?
1299
00:58:29,048 --> 00:58:31,966
Yeah, it was a lot of work,
1300
00:58:31,967 --> 00:58:34,845
but I knew it was the only way
to safely get you to Ottawa.
1301
00:58:36,597 --> 00:58:38,306
Why do you hate me so much?
1302
00:58:38,307 --> 00:58:40,850
I don't hate you. I love you!
1303
00:58:40,851 --> 00:58:42,810
And it doesn't
change anything.
1304
00:58:42,811 --> 00:58:44,604
Whether you like it or not,
1305
00:58:44,605 --> 00:58:46,105
I'm the one that got you
into this mess
1306
00:58:46,106 --> 00:58:47,649
and I'm the only one
who can get you out,
1307
00:58:47,650 --> 00:58:49,108
so, we have to stick together.
1308
00:58:49,109 --> 00:58:50,777
Alright, look, feel free
to punch me.
1309
00:58:50,778 --> 00:58:52,195
I deserve it. Come on.
Let me have it.
1310
00:58:52,196 --> 00:58:53,948
I can't feel my face anyways.
1311
00:59:10,297 --> 00:59:12,423
Come on, bro, I'm sorry!
1312
00:59:12,424 --> 00:59:15,094
Just let me explain everything,
all right?
1313
00:59:20,182 --> 00:59:23,726
Klyle,
you dirty piece of shit.
1314
00:59:23,727 --> 00:59:25,561
I know exactly
what happened here.
1315
00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:27,689
He's trying to give the prize
back to the Coalition
1316
00:59:27,690 --> 00:59:29,691
but got taken instead!
1317
00:59:29,692 --> 00:59:32,819
The backstabber becomes
the back stabbed, stabbee,
1318
00:59:32,820 --> 00:59:35,571
got-stabbed-in-the-back guy.
1319
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:37,865
If he only knew that money would
be completely worthless
1320
00:59:37,866 --> 00:59:39,492
in two weeks, anyways.
1321
00:59:42,037 --> 00:59:43,579
Who is that?
1322
00:59:43,580 --> 00:59:45,832
That's... it's Jason Biggs.
1323
00:59:45,833 --> 00:59:48,960
He's trying to...
Never mind.
1324
00:59:48,961 --> 00:59:51,254
Watch your knees.
There we go. There we go.
1325
00:59:51,255 --> 00:59:52,714
Okay, do the rope.
1326
00:59:52,715 --> 00:59:53,965
Rope, rope, rope, rope.
1327
00:59:53,966 --> 00:59:55,133
Huh? Huh?
1328
00:59:55,134 --> 00:59:57,385
Yeah, there we go. Okay.
Very "hostage."
1329
00:59:57,386 --> 00:59:59,178
Hey, hey, look at me.
No, look at me.
1330
00:59:59,179 --> 01:00:01,222
I'm not the bad guy, okay?
1331
01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:03,057
I'm as much as a victim
as you are.
1332
01:00:03,058 --> 01:00:05,393
You think I want to be here?
I don't wanna be doing this.
1333
01:00:05,394 --> 01:00:07,520
Neither do I!
That's why I'm out of here.
1334
01:00:09,273 --> 01:00:10,606
Oh, shit.
1335
01:00:10,607 --> 01:00:12,817
I believe
he's trying to kick us.
1336
01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:13,985
Sweep!
1337
01:00:13,986 --> 01:00:16,279
And that's why you never take
martial arts lessons
1338
01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:18,364
from Cash Israel.
It's all leg sweeps.
1339
01:00:18,365 --> 01:00:19,949
- Sweep! Marco.
- Polo.
1340
01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:21,617
- Okay.
- No, oh, the sweep.
1341
01:00:21,618 --> 01:00:23,619
Go over there.
1342
01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:25,538
- Marco.
- Polo.
1343
01:00:25,539 --> 01:00:27,040
- Now go over there.
- Sweep!
1344
01:00:27,041 --> 01:00:28,207
Polo!
1345
01:00:28,208 --> 01:00:30,418
Take the two
of you at once!
1346
01:00:30,419 --> 01:00:31,794
What in the world is he doing?
1347
01:00:31,795 --> 01:00:34,255
Axe kick!
I need a break. Hey, hey.
1348
01:00:34,256 --> 01:00:36,090
- Let me catch my...
- Hey come...
1349
01:00:36,091 --> 01:00:37,884
- Okay.
- Let's lay down over here, man.
1350
01:00:37,885 --> 01:00:39,844
- Is this a rest area?
- Yeah, rest area.
1351
01:00:39,845 --> 01:00:41,512
Just watch your knees,
watch the knees.
1352
01:00:41,513 --> 01:00:43,348
...some electrolytes.
1353
01:00:43,349 --> 01:00:44,474
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got you.
1354
01:00:44,475 --> 01:00:46,393
Holy shit!
1355
01:00:48,520 --> 01:00:50,938
Oh God! No, no, no!
This was supposed to...
1356
01:00:50,939 --> 01:00:52,482
Go check the minivan.
1357
01:00:52,483 --> 01:00:53,858
It's gotta be in there
somewhere.
1358
01:00:53,859 --> 01:00:55,485
Yes, they don't have it yet!
1359
01:00:55,486 --> 01:00:56,903
- Hold my waist!
- Okay, I got you.
1360
01:00:56,904 --> 01:00:59,155
Wait a minute. Do you remember
when Klyle was talking
1361
01:00:59,156 --> 01:01:01,032
about a secret smuggling
compartment under
1362
01:01:01,033 --> 01:01:03,534
- the minivan passenger seat?
- Holy shit. They killed him.
1363
01:01:03,535 --> 01:01:04,869
Yes, it has to be there!
1364
01:01:04,870 --> 01:01:06,204
Come on.
1365
01:01:07,831 --> 01:01:10,583
Come on, bro!
1366
01:01:10,584 --> 01:01:12,210
Ah!
1367
01:01:12,211 --> 01:01:15,129
She stranded us here!
I should have known better.
1368
01:01:15,130 --> 01:01:16,923
It's like Todd Simmons
always said--
1369
01:01:16,924 --> 01:01:19,927
- Danny!
- Hang on. Hang on.
1370
01:01:21,303 --> 01:01:22,345
I think it's in here.
1371
01:01:22,346 --> 01:01:24,555
I got it! I got it!
1372
01:01:24,556 --> 01:01:25,765
I found it! I got it!
1373
01:01:25,766 --> 01:01:27,725
- I don't care.
- Well, you should care.
1374
01:01:27,726 --> 01:01:29,477
This is probably the most
important thing
1375
01:01:29,478 --> 01:01:30,895
that you'll ever--
1376
01:01:30,896 --> 01:01:31,897
Ah! Shit!
1377
01:01:35,359 --> 01:01:36,692
Sir!
1378
01:01:36,693 --> 01:01:38,111
Can I have a hug?
1379
01:01:38,112 --> 01:01:40,781
Sir! Can I just please
have one hug?
1380
01:01:43,117 --> 01:01:45,244
Sorry, man.
1381
01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:49,038
Oh, let's do this.
1382
01:01:49,039 --> 01:01:50,998
Wait, how many times did you
tranq me again?
1383
01:01:50,999 --> 01:01:52,166
I don't know, like, five.
1384
01:01:52,167 --> 01:01:56,212
I... need a bump...
of coke... Oh, dear.
1385
01:01:56,213 --> 01:01:58,089
You gotta be kidding me!
1386
01:01:59,174 --> 01:02:01,510
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Ah!
1387
01:02:03,554 --> 01:02:06,432
Come on.
1388
01:02:15,315 --> 01:02:18,776
Oh! Okay! Uh...
1389
01:02:18,777 --> 01:02:20,153
Whoa!
1390
01:02:20,154 --> 01:02:22,405
Sorry, Danny. Okay.
1391
01:02:22,406 --> 01:02:25,032
What the fuck? No.
1392
01:02:25,033 --> 01:02:27,535
Oh, God.
1393
01:02:27,536 --> 01:02:28,786
Too many fucking pedals!
1394
01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:32,499
Ah! How does this work?
Fuck!
1395
01:02:37,838 --> 01:02:40,382
No, leave me alone!
1396
01:02:41,383 --> 01:02:42,426
Fuck!
1397
01:02:43,677 --> 01:02:46,596
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
1398
01:02:46,597 --> 01:02:48,431
Hang on, Danny!
1399
01:03:17,377 --> 01:03:19,254
Welcome back to Taco Gary's.
1400
01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:23,300
Check your weapons in
with me, sir.
1401
01:03:27,971 --> 01:03:29,472
Okay.
1402
01:03:29,473 --> 01:03:31,307
Voice on speaker:
...siesta at Taco Gary's,
1403
01:03:31,308 --> 01:03:34,185
so eat up like there's
not tomorrow.
1404
01:03:34,186 --> 01:03:36,229
Okay.
1405
01:03:36,230 --> 01:03:37,355
Okay, buddy.
Wakey-wakey.
1406
01:03:39,441 --> 01:03:42,026
Ah! Whoo! Mmm. Mmm.
1407
01:03:42,027 --> 01:03:43,569
It's okay, it's okay.
You're safe now.
1408
01:03:43,570 --> 01:03:45,738
What happened? Where are we?
Are we on the shuttle?
1409
01:03:45,739 --> 01:03:48,032
No, we're at Taco Gary's.
You passed out.
1410
01:03:48,033 --> 01:03:49,283
- Really?
- Yeah.
1411
01:03:49,284 --> 01:03:50,743
That doesn't sound like me.
1412
01:03:50,744 --> 01:03:53,204
I must've been trying to teach
you a valuable life lesson
1413
01:03:53,205 --> 01:03:54,497
- or something.
- Hey, guys.
1414
01:03:54,498 --> 01:03:57,583
I've gotta say, this has been
a blast. Really.
1415
01:03:57,584 --> 01:04:00,920
All the chasing and
the shooting, wow! How fun.
1416
01:04:00,921 --> 01:04:02,880
- Okay, it has had its moments.
- Come on, right?
1417
01:04:02,881 --> 01:04:03,965
Yeah, it has.
1418
01:04:03,966 --> 01:04:05,466
We've been having
a great time.
1419
01:04:05,467 --> 01:04:07,093
What was your favorite,
like...
1420
01:04:07,094 --> 01:04:08,928
Marco Polo was funny.
That was really funny,
1421
01:04:08,929 --> 01:04:10,513
watching him run around,
he was like...
1422
01:04:10,514 --> 01:04:12,515
- Like, kicking...
- He thought there were like,
1423
01:04:12,516 --> 01:04:14,225
six of you.
It was great.
1424
01:04:14,226 --> 01:04:17,061
- Anyways, please hand it over.
- Oh, you want it?
1425
01:04:17,062 --> 01:04:18,646
- Okay, listen.
- This motherfucker.
1426
01:04:18,647 --> 01:04:20,189
We are aware--
1427
01:04:20,190 --> 01:04:21,274
Okay.
1428
01:04:21,275 --> 01:04:23,234
We are aware of
the Taco Gary's truce,
1429
01:04:23,235 --> 01:04:25,319
but you're gonna have to leave
eventually
1430
01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:26,612
if you want to catch
that shuttle.
1431
01:04:26,613 --> 01:04:28,114
Oh, really, so you can
kill us too?
1432
01:04:28,115 --> 01:04:29,991
If you just hand over
the ticket,
1433
01:04:29,992 --> 01:04:32,159
we will let bygones
be bygones.
1434
01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:34,161
You blew my best friend's
head off.
1435
01:04:34,162 --> 01:04:36,455
Mmm, he said you were just
associates.
1436
01:04:36,456 --> 01:04:39,333
No! We were best--
1437
01:04:39,334 --> 01:04:41,252
actually, you know what,
I never really liked the guy.
1438
01:04:41,253 --> 01:04:42,878
Hey, guys,
look me in the eyeball.
1439
01:04:42,879 --> 01:04:45,590
Right here, okay. Last
chance to save your skins.
1440
01:04:45,591 --> 01:04:46,966
Please just fucking
hand it over.
1441
01:04:46,967 --> 01:04:48,509
Yeah, just give it
back to 'em, Danny.
1442
01:04:48,510 --> 01:04:50,386
No. Fuck you, Jason Biggs,
1443
01:04:50,387 --> 01:04:52,513
- and your Portuguese Popeye.
- Super rude.
1444
01:04:52,514 --> 01:04:53,764
People need to know about
this.
1445
01:04:53,765 --> 01:04:56,100
Why? So they can pretend they
know what's best for humanity?
1446
01:04:56,101 --> 01:04:59,604
Please. Leave that
to us celebrities.
1447
01:04:59,605 --> 01:05:01,522
Yeah, and
celebrity-adjacent people.
1448
01:05:01,523 --> 01:05:03,274
- No.
- You talked about this to me.
1449
01:05:03,275 --> 01:05:05,067
- Just celebrities.
- Sorry I did it again.
1450
01:05:05,068 --> 01:05:06,902
That is enough.
1451
01:05:06,903 --> 01:05:08,155
Oh my goodness.
1452
01:05:10,907 --> 01:05:12,908
- What's this now?
- It's a piss-eyed Elder.
1453
01:05:12,909 --> 01:05:14,578
- A what?
- A fucking alien, dude.
1454
01:05:27,132 --> 01:05:29,091
You two. Stand up.
1455
01:05:29,092 --> 01:05:31,385
Your majesty, these are
the ones that have--
1456
01:05:31,386 --> 01:05:34,348
Silence. Unless you would like
to ejaculate guacamole picante.
1457
01:05:35,641 --> 01:05:37,016
What?
1458
01:05:37,017 --> 01:05:39,018
I can make any human secrete
guacamole picante
1459
01:05:39,019 --> 01:05:40,979
from any orifice. Behold.
1460
01:05:48,445 --> 01:05:49,737
See?
1461
01:05:49,738 --> 01:05:52,782
What do you want,
you cunt-quistador?
1462
01:05:52,783 --> 01:05:55,951
Clever. Follow me.
1463
01:05:55,952 --> 01:05:58,372
Daniel, Lucas.
1464
01:05:59,373 --> 01:06:01,500
We travel by silver Sonic.
1465
01:06:02,959 --> 01:06:05,044
No one would suspect the master
race of the galaxy
1466
01:06:05,045 --> 01:06:07,505
to drive a spacious yet
affordable compact sedan.
1467
01:06:07,506 --> 01:06:09,965
A great cover with a great
turning radius.
1468
01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:11,425
Just get to the point.
1469
01:06:11,426 --> 01:06:14,053
Ah, yes. I have been following
you two for some time now.
1470
01:06:14,054 --> 01:06:15,179
Creepy.
1471
01:06:15,180 --> 01:06:16,972
You want to expose us.
1472
01:06:16,973 --> 01:06:18,224
Hell yeah, we do!
1473
01:06:18,225 --> 01:06:21,394
This can't be. How?
Why is...
1474
01:06:21,395 --> 01:06:23,437
A galactic super race
interested in Earth?
1475
01:06:23,438 --> 01:06:24,647
I will soon show you.
1476
01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:26,691
Trust me, Luke,
you don't want to know.
1477
01:06:26,692 --> 01:06:29,110
No, no, no. He should know
the whole truth.
1478
01:06:30,237 --> 01:06:32,822
We are here for the same reason
why your people invade,
1479
01:06:32,823 --> 01:06:34,865
well, anywhere.
1480
01:06:34,866 --> 01:06:37,118
- Oil.
- For fuck's sakes!
1481
01:06:37,119 --> 01:06:38,994
Yes, it is true.
1482
01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:41,372
Every planet in the galaxy
runs on oil.
1483
01:06:41,373 --> 01:06:43,708
Told you, Luke.
It's fucking bonkers.
1484
01:06:43,709 --> 01:06:45,292
We are currently collecting
the last
1485
01:06:45,293 --> 01:06:46,752
of your earthly reserves.
1486
01:06:46,753 --> 01:06:48,754
Once our extraction
is complete,
1487
01:06:48,755 --> 01:06:51,549
we plan on exterminating
all life on this planet.
1488
01:06:51,550 --> 01:06:52,591
Why?!
1489
01:06:52,592 --> 01:06:54,343
Dead organic material
1490
01:06:54,344 --> 01:06:56,512
mixes with other sediment
when buried.
1491
01:06:56,513 --> 01:06:58,013
Over millions of years,
1492
01:06:58,014 --> 01:06:59,849
under high pressure and high
temperature,
1493
01:06:59,850 --> 01:07:02,643
the remains of these organisms
transform into
1494
01:07:02,644 --> 01:07:05,563
what we know
as fossil fuels.
1495
01:07:05,564 --> 01:07:07,314
By exterminating all life,
1496
01:07:07,315 --> 01:07:09,233
we are simply creating
a new oil reserve
1497
01:07:09,234 --> 01:07:11,694
to be harvested
in 16 million years,
1498
01:07:11,695 --> 01:07:14,363
which, to an Elder,
is not long at all.
1499
01:07:14,364 --> 01:07:15,948
We did the same process
1500
01:07:15,949 --> 01:07:18,367
with the organisms you call
"dinosaurs".
1501
01:07:18,368 --> 01:07:20,411
You killed the dinosaurs?
1502
01:07:20,412 --> 01:07:23,038
Literally my one and only
interest?
1503
01:07:23,039 --> 01:07:25,082
- Told ya you weren't ready.
- No. No. No, no, no.
1504
01:07:25,083 --> 01:07:27,668
This doesn't make any sense,
because if you can fly
1505
01:07:27,669 --> 01:07:29,503
through space and live for
millions of years,
1506
01:07:29,504 --> 01:07:31,797
then why don't you just
synthesize your own fucking oil?
1507
01:07:31,798 --> 01:07:33,966
Well, it is very political.
1508
01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:36,218
Too many jobs would be lost
1509
01:07:36,219 --> 01:07:38,095
by transitioning to greener
hyper coils.
1510
01:07:38,096 --> 01:07:39,638
Fucking unions.
1511
01:07:39,639 --> 01:07:41,974
However, we are not barbarian
invaders.
1512
01:07:41,975 --> 01:07:44,810
Therefore, we have made a deal
with your chieftains.
1513
01:07:44,811 --> 01:07:48,063
In exchange for the oil
and destruction of all life,
1514
01:07:48,064 --> 01:07:51,358
we have allowed for passage to
a brand-new planet development
1515
01:07:51,359 --> 01:07:54,320
in the midwestern Milky Way.
1516
01:07:54,321 --> 01:07:56,239
I think I'm going
to throw up.
1517
01:07:58,200 --> 01:08:00,075
Was it something I said?
1518
01:08:00,076 --> 01:08:02,328
Uh, yeah!
It's everything you said.
1519
01:08:02,329 --> 01:08:05,206
Listen, human.
1520
01:08:05,207 --> 01:08:08,083
We Elders are not without
our empathy.
1521
01:08:08,084 --> 01:08:12,546
I feel your plight,
and your anguish.
1522
01:08:12,547 --> 01:08:14,173
Cool.
1523
01:08:14,174 --> 01:08:15,925
You'll be glad to know
that I will asking
1524
01:08:15,926 --> 01:08:18,177
our board of directors
for a 100 year delay
1525
01:08:18,178 --> 01:08:20,095
in humanity's destruction.
1526
01:08:20,096 --> 01:08:22,389
- A hundred years?
- Yes.
1527
01:08:22,390 --> 01:08:26,936
All you must do is continue to
keep our existence a secret.
1528
01:08:26,937 --> 01:08:28,562
Why?
I wasn't sworn to anything.
1529
01:08:28,563 --> 01:08:30,272
I'm not part of the Coalition.
1530
01:08:30,273 --> 01:08:32,984
You are now.
1531
01:08:45,956 --> 01:08:48,207
Fuck it.
1532
01:08:48,208 --> 01:08:50,668
And I will transfer
the $27.7 million
1533
01:08:50,669 --> 01:08:53,379
into your bank account
immediately.
1534
01:08:53,380 --> 01:08:55,257
- Was that all?
- You're forgetting one thing.
1535
01:08:56,424 --> 01:08:59,552
Ah, yes. I will also free
the squid people
1536
01:08:59,553 --> 01:09:01,262
underneath Santa Fe,
New Mexico.
1537
01:09:01,263 --> 01:09:03,430
Great. I've gotta
hand it to you.
1538
01:09:03,431 --> 01:09:05,266
I was not expecting this
1539
01:09:05,267 --> 01:09:07,142
from a smug alien
fuck like yourself,
1540
01:09:07,143 --> 01:09:09,270
but you've got yourself
a deal.
1541
01:09:09,271 --> 01:09:11,897
Fantastic. Now we seal
the agreement
1542
01:09:11,898 --> 01:09:13,274
with a simple
genital cupping.
1543
01:09:13,275 --> 01:09:17,152
Of course we do.
Fucking weirdos.
1544
01:09:17,153 --> 01:09:19,738
A little higher.
1545
01:09:19,739 --> 01:09:21,241
Oh, Jesus.
1546
01:09:23,493 --> 01:09:25,411
Come now.
1547
01:09:31,334 --> 01:09:33,002
Ow.
1548
01:09:33,003 --> 01:09:36,046
Oh, Dearlock...
1549
01:09:36,047 --> 01:09:37,840
There! Happy now?
1550
01:09:37,841 --> 01:09:39,341
We've got all the proof
that you need,
1551
01:09:39,342 --> 01:09:41,427
and then we can just return
the whatever-the-fuck
1552
01:09:41,428 --> 01:09:43,345
- to Jason, and--
- What the fuck are you doing,
1553
01:09:43,346 --> 01:09:45,848
you idiot?!
We were just about to--
1554
01:09:45,849 --> 01:09:47,683
Actually, you know what?
Fuck it, it's better this way.
1555
01:09:47,684 --> 01:09:51,103
- Come on. Let's go.
- What about the alien?!
1556
01:09:51,104 --> 01:09:54,023
Oh, yeah. Uh...
1557
01:09:54,024 --> 01:09:55,983
I haven't been completely
honest with you.
1558
01:09:55,984 --> 01:09:57,985
God damn it!
1559
01:09:57,986 --> 01:09:59,778
The plan was never to reveal
them to the world
1560
01:09:59,779 --> 01:10:01,113
or blow any whistles, okay?
1561
01:10:01,114 --> 01:10:03,490
Then why are you doing
all of this?
1562
01:10:03,491 --> 01:10:07,369
What is the point? Why did I
just assault a freakin' alien?
1563
01:10:07,370 --> 01:10:09,204
I didn't tell you to do that!
Look, whatever,
1564
01:10:09,205 --> 01:10:11,540
the world's about to end and
the shuttle's leaving today,
1565
01:10:11,541 --> 01:10:14,919
so forget this thing and
its two-headed dick. Come on!
1566
01:10:25,597 --> 01:10:27,264
Please answer the question!
1567
01:10:27,265 --> 01:10:29,350
Why-- Why are you trying
to fuck me over so hard?
1568
01:10:29,351 --> 01:10:30,768
Why am I here?
1569
01:10:30,769 --> 01:10:32,478
I told you!
The shuttle is here.
1570
01:10:32,479 --> 01:10:35,105
What shuttle?
1571
01:10:35,106 --> 01:10:36,523
Fuck!
1572
01:10:36,524 --> 01:10:37,816
Oh! Bingo bongo.
1573
01:10:37,817 --> 01:10:39,777
Computerized voice:
Coalition ID confirmed.
1574
01:10:39,778 --> 01:10:40,903
Welcome!
1575
01:10:40,904 --> 01:10:43,656
The entrance to the space port
is around here somewhere.
1576
01:10:43,657 --> 01:10:46,408
I'm 99.7% sure this is where
the Elders first made contact.
1577
01:10:46,409 --> 01:10:48,452
This is where they had
their first Taco Gary's taco.
1578
01:10:48,453 --> 01:10:50,371
It has to be here.
It could look like anything.
1579
01:10:50,372 --> 01:10:51,997
It could be tiny,
it could be invisible,
1580
01:10:51,998 --> 01:10:53,875
it definitely won't look
like a door.
1581
01:11:09,265 --> 01:11:11,267
Fuck!
1582
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:21,402
Is this it?
1583
01:11:26,032 --> 01:11:28,283
Yes! Yes!
1584
01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:30,619
Good eye. Yes!
1585
01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:32,163
Come on.
1586
01:11:38,211 --> 01:11:40,171
Danny. Danny. Danny.
1587
01:11:43,466 --> 01:11:44,718
No!
1588
01:11:47,554 --> 01:11:49,555
Voice on speaker:
...Welcome to the Taco Gary's
1589
01:11:49,556 --> 01:11:52,349
Interstellar Space Port...
1590
01:11:52,350 --> 01:11:54,184
Holy shit.
1591
01:11:54,185 --> 01:11:55,311
Hmm?
1592
01:12:00,483 --> 01:12:02,568
Voice on speaker:
Welcome to the Taco Gary's
1593
01:12:02,569 --> 01:12:07,072
Interstellar Space Port,
located in beautiful Ottawa,
1594
01:12:07,073 --> 01:12:10,910
birthplace of
the Bingo Bongo Burrito...
1595
01:12:21,421 --> 01:12:24,256
...So, eat up, like
there's no tomorrow!
1596
01:12:24,257 --> 01:12:25,966
Luke.
1597
01:12:25,967 --> 01:12:28,761
I haven't been completely
honest with you.
1598
01:12:28,762 --> 01:12:30,971
- Yeah, I know that--
- But you don't know why.
1599
01:12:30,972 --> 01:12:34,183
The reason I haven't been
completely honest with you
1600
01:12:34,184 --> 01:12:35,476
until this exact moment
1601
01:12:35,477 --> 01:12:37,811
is because you'd never believe
it all at once.
1602
01:12:37,812 --> 01:12:39,021
Fair.
1603
01:12:39,022 --> 01:12:41,148
When I found out that we only
had a couple weeks left,
1604
01:12:41,149 --> 01:12:43,525
I knew I had to get you on
the last shuttle out of here.
1605
01:12:43,526 --> 01:12:45,778
And I know I've done nothing
but lie to you,
1606
01:12:45,779 --> 01:12:49,198
but if there was ever a time
for you to trust me,
1607
01:12:49,199 --> 01:12:51,408
it's right now.
1608
01:12:51,409 --> 01:12:53,660
So, you're gonna take
this ticket.
1609
01:12:53,661 --> 01:12:56,080
And you're gonna get on
that shuttle.
1610
01:12:56,081 --> 01:12:57,372
You know why?
1611
01:12:57,373 --> 01:12:59,792
'Cause your life
depends on it.
1612
01:12:59,793 --> 01:13:01,251
Take it.
1613
01:13:01,252 --> 01:13:04,046
But it's my ticket!
It was meant for me.
1614
01:13:04,047 --> 01:13:06,673
You are not seeming to grasp
the complaint here.
1615
01:13:06,674 --> 01:13:08,217
Present it,
and you may board.
1616
01:13:08,218 --> 01:13:10,511
- It was stolen!
- Oh, that's too bad.
1617
01:13:10,512 --> 01:13:12,971
Possession may be nine tenths
of the law for humans.
1618
01:13:12,972 --> 01:13:14,765
It is 100% for Elders.
1619
01:13:14,766 --> 01:13:16,391
We do not have laws against
stealing.
1620
01:13:16,392 --> 01:13:17,518
What? Why not?
1621
01:13:17,519 --> 01:13:19,520
Because we do not steal.
Duh.
1622
01:13:19,521 --> 01:13:22,523
Every Elders has what he, slash
she, slash Gliborb needs.
1623
01:13:22,524 --> 01:13:23,607
Minus affordable gasoline.
1624
01:13:23,608 --> 01:13:24,900
- What was that?
- What was that?
1625
01:13:24,901 --> 01:13:26,235
- Hmm?
- What?
1626
01:13:26,236 --> 01:13:28,403
- Two dicks says what?
- I missed that. What?
1627
01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:30,781
Look, this isn't fair. Okay?
I faked my own death already!
1628
01:13:30,782 --> 01:13:33,492
I'm sorry, but no ticket,
no boarding.
1629
01:13:33,493 --> 01:13:34,536
Jason, look!
1630
01:13:36,913 --> 01:13:39,414
Go! Go, go, go!
1631
01:13:39,415 --> 01:13:40,415
Next.
1632
01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:42,417
Voice on speaker:
Attention, all passengers.
1633
01:13:42,418 --> 01:13:44,336
The shuttle will be boarding
in seven minutes.
1634
01:13:44,337 --> 01:13:46,088
- But what about you?
- Don't worry about me,
1635
01:13:46,089 --> 01:13:47,965
you've done enough of that
in your life. Okay?
1636
01:13:47,966 --> 01:13:49,299
This is me
returning the favor.
1637
01:13:49,300 --> 01:13:52,219
No, no, because if all that
were true, then--
1638
01:13:52,220 --> 01:13:54,429
then why me, man?
1639
01:13:54,430 --> 01:13:58,308
And why not like, a doctor or
even a competent swimmer?
1640
01:13:58,309 --> 01:14:00,144
Because you offer something
that most of
1641
01:14:00,145 --> 01:14:02,771
these self-entitled
"important" people here don't.
1642
01:14:02,772 --> 01:14:06,275
You are a good person.
1643
01:14:06,276 --> 01:14:08,652
You care about your neighbors,
your family.
1644
01:14:08,653 --> 01:14:10,737
You make people feel good
about themselves.
1645
01:14:10,738 --> 01:14:13,824
Yeah, sure, the new world will
need innovators
1646
01:14:13,825 --> 01:14:17,161
and goal-driven risk takers
to keep humanity moving forward,
1647
01:14:17,162 --> 01:14:19,955
but kind, delicate good
neighbors like yourself
1648
01:14:19,956 --> 01:14:21,957
are the foundation.
1649
01:14:21,958 --> 01:14:23,834
So, knowing that there will be
good people like you
1650
01:14:23,835 --> 01:14:26,962
on Earth 2.0 gives me hope.
1651
01:14:26,963 --> 01:14:28,840
And that's more
than enough for me.
1652
01:14:30,717 --> 01:14:32,759
This is absolutely insane.
1653
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:34,636
I know it is!
1654
01:14:34,637 --> 01:14:37,222
It's fucking insane, but I need
you to embrace the chaos.
1655
01:14:37,223 --> 01:14:40,642
I need you to accept
the Todd Simmons of it all.
1656
01:14:40,643 --> 01:14:43,563
Look, I am asking you,
do you trust me?
1657
01:14:50,653 --> 01:14:53,530
I can't believe I'm about
to say this, but...
1658
01:14:53,531 --> 01:14:55,574
yeah.
1659
01:14:55,575 --> 01:14:57,201
Thanks, dude.
1660
01:14:57,202 --> 01:14:58,577
Cough, cough.
1661
01:14:58,578 --> 01:15:00,621
I can't believe my good luck.
Makes me wonder
1662
01:15:00,622 --> 01:15:02,289
why I didn't just wait
for you guys here.
1663
01:15:02,290 --> 01:15:03,832
But alas,
can't change the past.
1664
01:15:03,833 --> 01:15:05,542
Anyway, this is the part
of the story--
1665
01:15:05,543 --> 01:15:07,586
Hey, hey, Jason,
please. Hello.
1666
01:15:07,587 --> 01:15:09,046
- What?
- You're doing it again, man.
1667
01:15:09,047 --> 01:15:10,839
- Doing what again?
- The fucking monologue.
1668
01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:12,341
- We talked about this.
- Sorry.
1669
01:15:12,342 --> 01:15:14,092
- Can I please just shoot them?
- You're right. Okay.
1670
01:15:14,093 --> 01:15:15,385
- Much simpler.
- No more monologues.
1671
01:15:15,386 --> 01:15:16,970
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
1672
01:15:16,971 --> 01:15:19,348
See ya!
1673
01:15:19,349 --> 01:15:21,016
- Tiago?
- Yep?
1674
01:15:21,017 --> 01:15:22,559
That was on me. So sorry.
1675
01:15:22,560 --> 01:15:23,811
What the fuck, man?
1676
01:15:30,151 --> 01:15:31,777
This way.
1677
01:15:43,706 --> 01:15:46,376
- What do we do now?
- Shh.
1678
01:15:50,797 --> 01:15:52,006
Whoopsie!
1679
01:15:53,007 --> 01:15:54,800
Looks like it's over, huh?
1680
01:15:54,801 --> 01:15:58,221
You see, we are covering
the only exit.
1681
01:15:59,681 --> 01:16:01,598
I'll tell you what.
You come on out,
1682
01:16:01,599 --> 01:16:03,350
and there will be no more
bloodshed.
1683
01:16:03,351 --> 01:16:05,477
Promessa Portuguesa.
1684
01:16:05,478 --> 01:16:08,273
Now that is a Portuguese
promise.
1685
01:16:11,359 --> 01:16:13,235
I knew it would end one day
in an office.
1686
01:16:13,236 --> 01:16:14,236
- What?
- Nothing.
1687
01:16:14,237 --> 01:16:15,988
I have a plan.
1688
01:16:15,989 --> 01:16:17,239
When I give you the signal,
1689
01:16:17,240 --> 01:16:19,366
you run back
to the space door. Got it?
1690
01:16:19,367 --> 01:16:20,617
What about it you?
1691
01:16:20,618 --> 01:16:23,121
Didn't I tell you to stop
worrying about me?
1692
01:16:26,624 --> 01:16:28,418
What the fuck?
1693
01:16:33,089 --> 01:16:34,715
Bingo bongo!
1694
01:16:34,716 --> 01:16:37,592
Get yer tickets
to outer space here!
1695
01:16:37,593 --> 01:16:38,594
There!
1696
01:16:39,595 --> 01:16:42,222
Hey, assholes!
I have your prize!
1697
01:16:42,223 --> 01:16:43,598
Come and get it!
1698
01:16:43,599 --> 01:16:46,018
Jesus, what the fuck
are you doing, you idiot?
1699
01:16:46,019 --> 01:16:49,147
Come and get it, you
mango-eating motherfuckers.
1700
01:16:50,398 --> 01:16:52,482
Hey, Luke!
This is the signal!
1701
01:16:52,483 --> 01:16:55,068
Go, go, go!
Luke, go, run!
1702
01:16:55,069 --> 01:16:57,529
Thank you.
Well, well, well.
1703
01:16:57,530 --> 01:16:59,072
Seems to me--
1704
01:16:59,073 --> 01:17:01,116
Please, not another fucking
monologue. Please.
1705
01:17:01,117 --> 01:17:02,534
- You're right.
- Let me just do it.
1706
01:17:02,535 --> 01:17:04,286
- Go ahead, go ahead.
- Thank you so much.
1707
01:17:04,287 --> 01:17:05,620
Run, Luke!
1708
01:17:10,126 --> 01:17:14,629
♪ So many years,
got a face that's old ♪
1709
01:17:14,630 --> 01:17:16,465
♪ Saw the world unfold ♪
1710
01:17:16,466 --> 01:17:17,841
Run, Luke!
1711
01:17:17,842 --> 01:17:22,429
♪ And the truth be told
in a steadfast love ♪
1712
01:17:22,430 --> 01:17:25,099
♪ In a steadfast love ♪
1713
01:17:36,319 --> 01:17:38,111
♪ It's a steadfast love ♪
1714
01:17:38,112 --> 01:17:39,863
Oh my God,
that felt so satisfying.
1715
01:17:39,864 --> 01:17:41,073
- It looked great.
- Thank you.
1716
01:17:41,074 --> 01:17:42,449
- You looked so good.
- Thank you.
1717
01:17:42,450 --> 01:17:44,242
Yeah, it looked really good.
1718
01:17:44,243 --> 01:17:46,453
Why is-- What's going on?
Is this empty?
1719
01:17:46,454 --> 01:17:48,205
- Son of a bitch!
- It's empty!
1720
01:17:48,206 --> 01:17:51,124
Look, that motherfucker
is right there!
1721
01:17:51,125 --> 01:17:52,251
Come on!
1722
01:18:03,179 --> 01:18:06,556
♪ Nah-nah-nah ♪
1723
01:18:06,557 --> 01:18:09,267
♪ Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah ♪
1724
01:18:09,268 --> 01:18:11,687
♪ Nah-nah-nah ♪
1725
01:18:16,442 --> 01:18:17,443
Ah...
1726
01:18:19,695 --> 01:18:21,280
The boarding pass, please.
1727
01:18:22,782 --> 01:18:24,116
I know what you're thinking.
1728
01:18:24,117 --> 01:18:25,951
"Why don't you just go ahead
and shoot me already?
1729
01:18:25,952 --> 01:18:28,495
"Doesn't even matter as the
world will end in two weeks."
1730
01:18:28,496 --> 01:18:29,913
But this isn't easy for us.
1731
01:18:29,914 --> 01:18:31,248
Jesus Christ, man, can you
literally
1732
01:18:31,249 --> 01:18:33,625
not help yourself with the
monologue shit?
1733
01:18:33,626 --> 01:18:35,127
Sorry, did...
What do you mean,
1734
01:18:35,128 --> 01:18:36,795
the world is gonna
end in two weeks?
1735
01:18:36,796 --> 01:18:38,380
Oh, come on.
1736
01:18:38,381 --> 01:18:40,257
I told you, this is the last
shuttle.
1737
01:18:40,258 --> 01:18:41,716
I thought you figured it out
already.
1738
01:18:41,717 --> 01:18:42,884
No, I didn't figure it out!
1739
01:18:42,885 --> 01:18:44,803
Wait, are the Elders
destroying the Earth?
1740
01:18:44,804 --> 01:18:47,013
- No, no, no. Not at all.
- Oh, thank goodness.
1741
01:18:47,014 --> 01:18:48,640
- Just all life on Earth.
- What?
1742
01:18:48,641 --> 01:18:50,350
Why didn't you just
tell me the truth, man?
1743
01:18:50,351 --> 01:18:52,144
No one wants to believe
the truth anymore.
1744
01:18:52,145 --> 01:18:53,728
You said I would
inherit your fortune!
1745
01:18:53,729 --> 01:18:55,188
- You still do.
- And I have like
1746
01:18:55,189 --> 01:18:57,315
- two weeks to spend it?
- Twelve days, technically.
1747
01:18:57,316 --> 01:18:59,484
- Oh, you liar.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1748
01:18:59,485 --> 01:19:02,863
Tiago, what are you doing, buddy?
1749
01:19:02,864 --> 01:19:05,323
Come on, it's me. Jason.
1750
01:19:05,324 --> 01:19:07,284
So I wasn't completely honest
with you,
1751
01:19:07,285 --> 01:19:09,286
but it was for your own good, buddy.
1752
01:19:09,287 --> 01:19:11,746
I wanted your last precious
moments
1753
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:13,790
to be lived in blissful
ignorance.
1754
01:19:13,791 --> 01:19:15,917
Again, I am
the good guy, here.
1755
01:19:15,918 --> 01:19:18,253
Actually, no, Jason.
You are not the good guy.
1756
01:19:18,254 --> 01:19:20,088
You are the bad guy.
1757
01:19:20,089 --> 01:19:22,007
You have always been
the bad guy.
1758
01:19:22,008 --> 01:19:24,342
You take that back.
1759
01:19:24,343 --> 01:19:27,929
I am the hero!
1760
01:19:27,930 --> 01:19:29,556
Leonardo, come on,
help me out here?
1761
01:19:29,557 --> 01:19:31,475
Thank you.
1762
01:19:31,476 --> 01:19:33,393
This is why you should never
trust the Portuguese.
1763
01:19:33,394 --> 01:19:34,686
- What'd you say?
- What was that?
1764
01:19:34,687 --> 01:19:35,896
You said something about
the Portuguese?
1765
01:19:35,897 --> 01:19:37,856
- No, nothing.
- No, fuck you, man!
1766
01:19:37,857 --> 01:19:40,317
You know, I changed for you!
And fuck this eye patch.
1767
01:19:40,318 --> 01:19:42,068
You know he told me to wear it
because it would make
1768
01:19:42,069 --> 01:19:43,778
me more intimidating?
Well, guess what?
1769
01:19:43,779 --> 01:19:45,489
It doesn't, this gun does!
1770
01:19:45,490 --> 01:19:46,781
New plan.
1771
01:19:46,782 --> 01:19:48,325
I'm taking the fucking ticket.
1772
01:19:49,911 --> 01:19:51,953
What the hell?
1773
01:19:51,954 --> 01:19:54,122
What is that, like,
supposed to be?
1774
01:19:54,123 --> 01:19:57,501
Is it supposed to be,
um, give me a sec.
1775
01:19:57,502 --> 01:19:59,711
Can't take my eyes
off it. Look at it.
1776
01:19:59,712 --> 01:20:01,296
Give me a second.
Gimme a sec. Ah!
1777
01:20:01,297 --> 01:20:03,340
But what's the significance of
the boobs, though?
1778
01:20:03,341 --> 01:20:04,799
It's like, super
hypnotic,
1779
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:06,051
but it makes no sense, though.
1780
01:20:06,052 --> 01:20:07,552
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
1781
01:20:07,553 --> 01:20:11,181
It's not supposed to make
any sense.
1782
01:20:11,182 --> 01:20:14,101
- Because...
- It's a ruse!
1783
01:20:16,896 --> 01:20:18,564
Fuck muffin!
1784
01:20:21,150 --> 01:20:22,234
They shot Danny!
1785
01:20:22,235 --> 01:20:23,568
I know!
Just keep running!
1786
01:20:23,569 --> 01:20:25,820
This is the final
1787
01:20:25,821 --> 01:20:27,864
boarding call for the last
shuttle to New Earth.
1788
01:20:27,865 --> 01:20:29,824
Doors will be closing
momentarily.
1789
01:20:29,825 --> 01:20:31,368
If you do not wish to be
incinerated
1790
01:20:31,369 --> 01:20:32,744
and repurposed as fossil fuel,
1791
01:20:32,745 --> 01:20:34,580
please proceed to the gate
immediately.
1792
01:20:40,836 --> 01:20:43,838
Okay. I got it! I got it!
1793
01:20:43,839 --> 01:20:46,383
I got it!
1794
01:20:54,141 --> 01:20:55,976
Excuse me, sirs.
1795
01:20:55,977 --> 01:20:58,270
But murder is not allowed
in a Taco Gary's.
1796
01:20:59,605 --> 01:21:02,524
And this port is technically
on Taco Gary's property.
1797
01:21:02,525 --> 01:21:04,401
So you know the penalty.
1798
01:21:04,402 --> 01:21:06,069
You see why I kept you
in the dark.
1799
01:21:06,070 --> 01:21:07,988
I see it now. I'm sorry.
1800
01:21:07,989 --> 01:21:10,407
- Oh!
- Oh, wow.
1801
01:21:10,408 --> 01:21:12,951
- This is all your fault.
- I know, I'm sorry!
1802
01:21:15,037 --> 01:21:16,913
- What's that smell?
- I don't know, dude.
1803
01:21:16,914 --> 01:21:18,456
- Mangos?
- Fuck, yes.
1804
01:21:18,457 --> 01:21:20,209
Mangos!
1805
01:21:22,587 --> 01:21:25,463
Oh dear.
1806
01:21:25,464 --> 01:21:27,258
Welcome aboard.
1807
01:21:31,012 --> 01:21:32,929
Oh dear.
1808
01:21:46,569 --> 01:21:50,697
♪ Well, I came along to find
a little peace of mind ♪
1809
01:21:50,698 --> 01:21:52,365
♪ Neglected all my duties ♪
1810
01:21:52,366 --> 01:21:54,451
♪ Stepping off
that straightened line ♪
1811
01:21:54,452 --> 01:21:56,453
♪ Now I just sit
by my front door ♪
1812
01:21:56,454 --> 01:21:58,788
♪ Filled with indolence
and sound ♪
1813
01:22:00,249 --> 01:22:03,126
♪ It's like I'm watching
the weeds grow on the ground ♪
1814
01:22:03,127 --> 01:22:04,252
Look, Luke.
1815
01:22:04,253 --> 01:22:05,754
This is going to be hard
to hear,
1816
01:22:05,755 --> 01:22:09,633
but it's what Danny expected
to happen all along.
1817
01:22:09,634 --> 01:22:11,635
He never planned on leaving,
1818
01:22:11,636 --> 01:22:13,970
but he didn't want you
to be alone.
1819
01:22:13,971 --> 01:22:15,347
I still don't get it.
1820
01:22:15,348 --> 01:22:17,974
Embrace it. Look,
this is the norm, Luke.
1821
01:22:17,975 --> 01:22:19,684
The world is always ending.
1822
01:22:19,685 --> 01:22:21,603
Things never
make total sense,
1823
01:22:21,604 --> 01:22:24,773
and sometimes our only option
is to just go with the flow.
1824
01:22:24,774 --> 01:22:26,776
It's the one thing
we can control.
1825
01:22:28,736 --> 01:22:30,613
Do you know
who said that?
1826
01:22:32,573 --> 01:22:35,493
Do you know who said that?
1827
01:22:42,333 --> 01:22:44,001
Todd Simmons.
1828
01:22:50,299 --> 01:22:52,717
And now you get it.
1829
01:22:52,718 --> 01:22:54,344
♪ You pass something down ♪
1830
01:22:54,345 --> 01:22:56,012
♪ No matter where or how ♪
1831
01:22:56,013 --> 01:22:58,014
♪ Well, there'll be weeds
or wildflowers ♪
1832
01:22:58,015 --> 01:22:59,724
♪ Affixed upon your bows ♪
1833
01:22:59,725 --> 01:23:01,851
♪ And there's a crooked
burning cigarette ♪
1834
01:23:01,852 --> 01:23:03,186
♪ Rolling on your tongue ♪
1835
01:23:03,187 --> 01:23:05,188
♪ Well, there'll be weeds
or wildflowers ♪
1836
01:23:05,189 --> 01:23:07,524
♪ When you're done ♪
1837
01:23:07,525 --> 01:23:11,194
♪ Da-da, da-da ♪
1838
01:23:11,195 --> 01:23:15,031
♪ Da-da-da ♪
1839
01:23:15,032 --> 01:23:18,827
♪ Da-da, da-da ♪
1840
01:23:18,828 --> 01:23:22,497
♪ Da-da-da ♪
1841
01:23:22,498 --> 01:23:26,084
♪ Da-da, da-da ♪
1842
01:23:26,085 --> 01:23:30,296
♪ Da-da-da ♪
1843
01:23:30,297 --> 01:23:34,008
♪ Da-da, da-da ♪
1844
01:23:34,009 --> 01:23:37,763
♪ Da ♪
1845
01:23:38,764 --> 01:23:41,307
♪ Blown about by the wind ♪
1846
01:23:41,308 --> 01:23:42,892
♪ And the worthless
little thing ♪
1847
01:23:42,893 --> 01:23:44,602
♪ But the world can feel
the changes ♪
1848
01:23:44,603 --> 01:23:46,354
♪ Of a butterfly's wings ♪
1849
01:23:46,355 --> 01:23:48,106
♪ And so that crooked burning
cigarette ♪
1850
01:23:48,107 --> 01:23:49,774
♪ Rolling on your tongue ♪
1851
01:23:49,775 --> 01:23:53,153
♪ Will leave its weeds before
your flowers yet have sprung ♪
1852
01:23:53,154 --> 01:23:56,573
♪ Will there be weeds or
wildflowers when you're done? ♪
135244
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